The second and third advice to a painter, for drawing the history of our navall actions, the two last years, 1665 and 1666 in answer to Mr. Waller.
Denham, John, Sir, 1615-1669., Marvell, Andrew, 1621-1678.
Page [unnumbered]Page 17
THE Third Advice TO A PAINTER, On our last Summers Success with French and Dutch, 1666.
Written by the same hand as the former was.
SAndwich in Spain now, and the Duke in Love,
Ler's with new Generals, a new Painter prove
Lillie's a Dutchman dangerous in his Art,
His Pencils may intelligence impart.
Thou Gibson who among the Navy small,
Of Marshal'd Shells, Commandst Admiral;
Thy self so slender, that thou shewst no more
Then Barnicle new hatcht of them before:
Come mix thy water Colours, and express,
Drawing in Little, what we do in Less:
First paint me George and Rupert, ratling far,
Within one Box, like the two Dice of War;
Page 18And let the Terror of their linked Names,
Fly through the Air, like Chain-shot, tearing Flame
Iove in one Cloud did scarcely wrap
Lightning so fierce, but never such a clap:
Unighted Gen'rals, sure the only spell;
Wherewith United-Provinces to quell:
Alas, even they (though shell'd in trebble Oak)
Will prove an Adle-Egg, with double Yoalk:
And therefore next uncouple either Hound,
And Low-them at two Hares, e're one be found;
Rupert to Beaufort, Hollow-Ay there Rupert;
Like the fantastick Hunting of St- Hubert,
When he with Earthy Hound, & Horn of Aire,
Pursues through Fountebleau the witchy Hare:
Deep providence of State! that could so soon
Fight Beaufort here, e're he had quit Thoulon:
So have I seen e're humane quarrels rise,
Forebodeing Meteors combat in the Skies;
But let the Prince to fight with rumours go,
The General meets a more substantial Foe;
Ruiter he spies, and full of youthful heat,
(Though half their number) thinks has odds to great
The Fowler watches so the watry spot
And more the Fowl, hopes for the better shot;
Though such a Limb were form his Navy torn,
He felt no weakness, yet like Sampson shorn,
But swoln with sence of former Glory won,
Thought Monck must be by Albemarle out-done;
Little he knew, with the same Arm and Sword,
How far the Gentleman out-cuts the Lord:
Page 19Ruyter inferiour unto none for Heart,
Superior now in Number and in Art;
Askt if he thought, as once our Rebel Nation,
To conquer them too by a Declaration;
And threatens, though now he so proudly sayl,
He shall tread back his Iter Boreale:
This said, he the short period e're it ends,
With Iron words from Brazen mouths extends;
Monck yet prevents him, e're the Navies meet,
And Charges in himself alone, a Fleet,
And with so quick and frequent motion wound,
His murd'ring sides about the Ship seem'd round,
And the exchange of his incircling Tyre,
Like flaming Hoops shew'd like Triumphant fire;
Single he does at their whole Navy aim,
And shoots them tbrough a porcupine of Flame;
He plays with Danger, and his Bullets trouls,
As 'twere at Tron-Madam through all the holds;
In noise so regular his Cannons met,
You'd think 'twas Thunder, unto Musick set;
Ah, had the rest but kept a time as true,
What Age could such a martial Confort shew?
The listning Air unto the distant shore,
Through secret Pipes conveys the tuned Roar,
Till as the Ecchoe vanishing abate,
Men feel a deaf sound, like the Pulse of Fate:
If Fate expire, let Monck her place supply,
His Guns determine who shall live or die;
But Victory does alwayes hate a Rant;
Valours her Brave, but Conducts her Gallant.
Page 20Ruiter no less with vertuous envy burns,
And Prodigies for Miracles returns,
Yet he observ'd how still the Iron-Balls
Brusled in vain against our Oaken walls;
And the hard Pellets fell away as dead,
Which our inchanted Timber filllipped:
Leave then (said he) th' unvulnerable Keel,
We'l find them feeble lik Achilles heel:
He quickly taught, and pours in continnal Clouds
Of chain'd Dilemnaes, through our sinewy shrowds
Forrests of Masts fall with their rude Embrace,
Our stiff Sails, Masht and netted into Lace,
Till our whole Navy lay their wanton mark,
And no Ship now could sayl; but as the Ark.
Shot in the wing, so at the Powders call,
The disappointed Bird does fluttering fall;
Yet Monck disabled, still such Courage shows,
As none into his mortal gripes durst close:
So an old Bustard maim'd, yet loath to yield,
Duels the Fowler, in Newmarket-field;
But soon he found it was in vain to fight,
And imps his Plumes the best he may for flight.
This Painter were an noble task to tell,
What indignation his great breast did swell;
Not vertuous men unworthily abus'd,
Not constant Lovers without cause refus'd;
Not honest Merch••r broke, Not skilful Player
Hist off the Stage, Not Sinner in despair,
Not loosing Rooks, Not Favourites disgrac'd,
Not Rump by 'Oliver or Menck displac'd,
Page 21Not Kings depos'd, Nor Prelats when they dye,
Feel half the rage of Generals when they flie:
Ah! rather then transmit our scorn to Fame.
Draw Curtains (gentle Artist) o're the shame.
Cashier the memory of Dutel, raised up
To taste (instead of death) his Highness Cup:
And if the thing were true, yet paint it not
How Berkley (as he long deserv'd) was shot;
Though others, that survai'd the corps (too clear)
Say onely, he was putrifi'd with fear,
And the hard Statue Mummied without Gumme,
Might the Dutch Balm have ipar'd an English tomb
But if thou wilt paint Minns turn'd all to soul,
And the great Harman charkt almost to cole,
And Iordan old, thy Pencils worthy pain,
Who all the way held up the Dukal-train:
But in a dark cloud cover Ascough, when
He quit the Prince; t'imbarque in Lovesteain.
And wounded Ships, which we immortal boast,
Now first led Captive to an hostile coast;
But must with Story of the Hand or Thumb
Conceal, as Honour would, his Graces Bum,
When the rude bullet a large collop tore
Out of that buttock, never turn'd before:
Fortune it seems would give him by that lash,
Gentle correction, for his fight so rash;
But should the Rump perceiv't, they'd say that Mars
Had now reveng'd them upon Aumar•s Arse.
The long disaster better o're to vail,
Paint only Jonas three dayes in the Whale;
Page 22Then draw the youthful Perseus all in haste,
From a Sea-beast to free a Virgin chaste:
But neither riding Pegasus for speed,
Nor with the Gorgon shielded at his need;
For no less time did conquering Ruyter chaw,
Our flying Gen'ral in his spungy Jaw;
So Rupert the Sea-Dragon did invade,
But to save George himself, and not the Maid;
And so arriving safe, he quickly mist,
Even Sails to fly, not able to resist;
Not Greenland Seamen that survive the fright
Of the cold Chaos, and a half-years night;
So gladly the returning Sun adore,
Or run to spy their next years Fleet from shore,
Hoping yet once within the Oily side
Of the fat Whale, again their spears to hide,
Or our glad Fleet with universal shout,
Salute the Prince, and wish the other bout:
Nor Winds long Pris'ners in Earths hollow vault,
The fallow Seas so eagerly assault;
As fiery Rupert with revengeful joy,
Does on the 'Dutch his hungry courage cloy:
But soon unrigg'd, lay like a useless board,
As wounded in the wrist, Men drop the sword:
When a propitious Cloud hetwixt us stept,
And in our Aid did Ruyter intercept;
Old Homer yet did never introduce,
To save his Heroes, mist of better use.
Worship the Sun, who dwells where he does rise,
This Mist doth more deserve our Sacrifice,
Page 23Now joyful fires and the exalted Bell,
With Court Gazets, our empty Triumphs tell,
Alas, the time dr•ws near, when over-turn'd,
The lying Bells will through the tongue be burn'd
Paper shall want to Print that Lye of State,
And our false fires, true fires shall explate:
Stay Painter here a while, and I will stay,
Not vex the future times with nice survey;
Seest not the Monkey Dutchess all undrest,
Paint thou but her, and she will Paint the rest;
The sad fate found her in her outward Room,
Nailing up Hanging, not of Persian Loom,
Like chast Penelope, that ne'r did rome,
But made all fine, against her George came home;
Upon a Ladder in a Coat much shorter,
She stood with Groom and Porter for supporter,
And careless what they saw, or what they thought
With Honi Pensi, honestly she wrought;
For in she Gen'rals breech, none could she knows
Carry away the piece with Eyes or Nose;
One Tenter drove, to loose no time or place,
At once the Ladder they remove and grace;
Whilst thus they her translate from North to East,
In posture of a foul-footed Beast,
She heard the News, but altered yet no more,
Then that which was behind she turn'd before:
Nor would come down, but with a Handkercher,
Which pocket foul, did to her Neck prefer;
She dry'd no tears, for she was so Viraginous,
But only snuffling her Trunk Cartilaginous;
Page 24From Scaleing-ladder she begun a Story,
Worthy to think on, as Memento Mori
Arraigning past, and present, and futuri,
With a Prophetick, if not Spirit fury;
Her Hair began to creep, her Belly sound,
Her Eyes to startle, with her Udder bound;
Half Witch, half Prophet, thus she Albemarle
Like Presbyterian Sibel out did snarl,
Traytors both to my Lord, and to the King,
Nay now it grows beyond all suffering;
One valiant man at Land, and he must be
Commanded out to stop their Leaks at Sea.
Yet send him Rupert, as a helper meet,
First the Command dividing, then the Fleet.
One may may if they be beat, or both be hit,
But if they overcome, yet honours split:
But Reckoning George already knockt o'th' head,
They cut him out like Beef e're he be dead;
Each for a Quarter hopes, the first doth skip,
But shall fall short, though at the Generalship.
Next they for Master of the Horse agree;
A third the Cock-pit begs, not any me,
But they shall know, I marry shall they do;
That who the Cock-pit has, shall have me too.
I told George first, as Calamy told me,
If the King these brought over, thus 'twould be.
Men that have pickt his pocket to his face;
To sell Intelligence, or buy a Place:
That their Religion pawn'd for Cloaths, nor care
'Tas •un so long, now to redeem't, or dare.
Page 25Oh! what egregious Loyalty to Cheat,
Oh! what fidelity it was to eat,
Whilst Langdale, Hopton, Glenham starv'd abroad,
And here true Loyalists sunk beneath their load.
Men that did there affront, defame, betray
The King, and do so here, now who but they.
What say I men? nay rather monsters: men
Only in bed; nor to my knowledge then:
See how they home return with Revel Rout,
With the same measure that they first went out,
No better grown, nor wiser all this while,
Renew the causes of their first Exile.
As is to shew you Fools, what 'tis I mean;
I chuse a foul smock, when I might have clean.
First they for fear disband the Army tame,
And leave good George an empty Generals name:
Next Bishops must revive, and all unfix,
With discontents, for contents twenty six;
The Lords House drains the Houses of the Lord;
For Bishops voices silencing the Word.
O Bartholmew, Saint of their Callender,
What's worse, their ejection, or their massacre.
Then Culp'per, Glocester, e're the Princess dy'd,
Nothing can live, that interrupts a Hide:
O more then humane Glocester, Fate did shew
Thee to the Earth, and back again with-drew.
Then the fat Scrivener durst begin to think,
'Twas time to mix the Royal blood with Ink.
Berkeley who swore, as oft as he had toes,
Does kneeling now her Chastity depose,
Page 26Just as the first French Cardinal could restore,
Maidenhead to his Widdow, Neece, and Whore:
For portion if she should prove light when weigh'd
Four Millions shall within four years be paid.
To raise it we must have a Naval War,
As if 'twere nothing but Taratantar,
Abroad all Princes disobliging first,
At home all Parties, but the very worst.
To tell of Ireland, Scotland, Dunkirk, 'tis sad,
Of the Kings Marriage, (but he thinks I'me mad.)
A sweeter Creature never saw the Sun,
If we the King wish'd Monck, or Queen a Nun,
But a Dutch War must all these rumours still,
Bleed out these humours, and our Purses spill;
Yet after one dayes Fight, trembling they saw,
'Twas too much danger for a Son-in-Law.
Hire him to leave with fixscore thousand pound,
As with the Kings drums, men for sleep componnd.
The modest Sandwich thought it might agree,
With the State-prudence to do less then he;
And to excuse their timerousness & sloth,
They've found how George now might do less then both.
First, Smith must to Legorn with force enough,
To venture back again, but not go through;
Beaufort is there, and to their dazeling eyes
The distance more the Object magnifies;
Yet this they gain, that Smith his time shall loose,
For my Duke too he cannot interpose.
But fearing that our Navy George to break,
Might not be found sufficiently weak;
Page 27The Secretary that had never yet,
Intelligence, but from his own Gazett,
Discovers a great Secret fit to sell,
And payes himself for 'te're he would it tell:
Beaufort is in the Channel, Hixy here,
Doxy Thoulon, Beaufort is every where:
Herewith assembles the Supream Divan,
Where enters none but Devil, Ned, and Nan;
And upon this pretence they straight design'd,
The Fleet to separate, and the World to blind;
Monck to the Dutch, and Rupert (here the Wench
Could not but smile) was destin'd to the French;
To write the Order, Bristols Clerk they chose,
One slit in's Pen, another in his Nose;
For he first brought the News, and 'tis his place,
He'l see the Fleet divided like his face,
And through the Cranny in that Grifly part,
To th' 'Dutch, thinks Intelligence may start.
The Plot succeds, the Dutch in haste prepare,
And poor Peel-Garlick Georges Arse they share.
And now presuming of his certain Rack,
To help him late, they write for Rupert back;
Officious Will seems fittest, as afraid
Lest George should look too far into his trade;
On the first draught they pause with Statesmens care,
They write it fair, then coppy't out as fair;
These they compare, and then at last 'tis sign'd,
Will soon his Purse-strings, but no Seal could find.
At night he sends it by the common Post,
To save the King of an Express, the cost;
Page 28Lord! what a-do to pack one Letter hence?
Some Pattents pass with less circumference;
Well George, in spite of them thou safe dost ride,
Lessen'd in nought, I hope, but thy backside;
For as to Reputation, this Retreat
Of thine exceeds their Victory so great,
Nor shalt thou stir from thence by my consent,
Till thou hast made the Dutch, and them repent:
'Tis true, I want, so long the Nuptial gift,
But (as I oft have done) I'le make a shift;
Nor with vain pomp will I accost the shore,
To try the Valour of the Buoy i'th' Nore:
Fall to thy work George there, as I do here,
Cherish the Valiant, and the Coward Cashier,
See that the men have Pay, and Beef, and Beer,
Find out the Cheats of the four Millioneer;
Out of the very Beer they steal the Malt,
Powder from Powder, and from Beef the Salt;
Put thy hand into th' Tub, instead of Ox,
They victual with French-Pork that hath the Pox:
Never such Cotqueans by small Arts to ring,
Ne're such ill Huswives in the managing;
Purssers at Sea know fewer cheats then they;
Marriners on shore less madly spend their Pay.
See that thou hast new Sails thy self, and spoyl
All their Sea-markets, and their Cable coyl;
Tell the King all, who do him Countermine,
Trust not, till done, him with thy own design;
Look that good Chaplains on each Ship do waite,
Nor Sea Diocess, to be Impropriate.
Page 29Look to the Pris'ners sick, and wounded all,
As Prize, they rob the very Hospital;
Recover back the Prizestoo, in vain
We fight, if all be taken which is tane,
Along our Coasts, the Dutchmen, like a flight
Oh feeding Ducks, Morning and Evening light.
How our Land-Hectors tremble, void of fence,
As if they came straight to transport them hence,
Some Ship are stoln, the Kingdom all array'd
And even Presbyters now call'd to aid;
They wish even George, divided, to Command
One half of him the Sea, tother the Land.
What's that I see; ha! 'tis my George agen
It seems in seven weeks they've rigg'd him then,
That curious Heaven with lightning him surrounds
To view him, and his Name in Thunder sounds,
But with the same shaft gores his Navy neer,
So e're we hunt, the Keeper shoots the Deer.
Stay Heaven a while, and thou shalt see him sayl,
And how George too can Lighten, Thunder, Hail,
Happy the time that I thee wedded George,
The Sword of England, and of Holland scourge.
Avant Roterdam-dog! Ruiter Avant,
Thou Water-Rat, thou Shark, thou Cormorant;
I'le teach thee to shoot Sizers, I'le repair,
Each Rope thou loosest George, out of this Hair,
E're thou shalt lack a Sail, and lye a drift,
('Tis strong, and course enough) I'le cut this Shift,
Bring home the Old ones, I again will few,
And darne them up to be as good as new.
Page 30What I twice disabled? never such a thing;
Now(Sovereign) help him that brought in the King
Guard thy Posterior lest, left all be gone,
Though Jury-Masts, th' hast Jury-Buttocks none.
Courage; how bravely whet with this disgrace
He turns, and Bullets spits in Ruiters face.
They flie! they flie! their Fleet does now divide,
But they discard their Trump, our Trump is Hide.
Where are you now de Ruiter with your Bears?
See how your Merchants burn about your ears.
Fire out the wasps, George, from their hollow trees,
Cram'd with the Honey of our English Bees.
Ay now they're paid for Guiny, e're they steer
To the hot Coast, they find it hotter here.
Turn all your Ships to Stoves ere you set forth,
To warm your Traffique in the frozen North.
Ah! Sandwich had thy Conduct been the same,
Bergen had seen a less, but richer Flame;
Nor Ruiter liv'd new Battel to repeat,
And oftner beaten be than we can beat.
Scarce has George leasure after all this pain,
To tye his Breeches, Ruiter's out again:
Thrice in one year? why sure the man is wood,
Beat him like Stock-fish, or he'l nere be good.
I see them both again, prepar'd to try,
They first shoot through each other with the Eye.
Then— but that ruling Providence that must
With humane projects play, as Wind with Dust,
Raised a Storm, (so Constables a Fray,
Knock down) and send them both well cuft away.
Page 31Plant now Virginy Firrs in English Oak,
Build your Ship-ribs proof, to the Cannon stroak;
To get a Fleet to Sear exhaust the Land,
Let longing Princes pine for the Command;
Strong Merchants! Wafers, so thin a puff
Of angry Air, can ruine all that nuff.
So Champions having shar'd the List, and Sun,
The Judge throws down his Warder, & they've don
For shame come home George, 'tis for thee too much
To fight at once with Heaven, and the Dutch.
Woe's me! what see I next? alass the Fate
I see of England, and its utmost date;
These flames of theirs, at which we fondly smile,
Kindled like Torches, our Sepuchral Pile?
War, Fire, and Plague, against us all conspire;
We the Fire, God the Plague, who rais'd the Fire?
See how men all like Ghosts, while London burns
Wander, and each o're his Ashes mourns.
Dear George! sad fate! vain mind! that did me please
To meet thine with far other flames then these.
Curst be that man that first began this War;
In an ill hour under a blazing Star:
For others sport, two Nations fight a Prize,
Between them both, Religion mounded dies.
So of first Troy the angry Gods unpaid,
Rac'd the foundations which themselves had laid.
Welcome, though late dear George, here hadst thou been
W'nad scap'd, let Rupert bring the Navy in;
Thou still must help them out, when in the mire,
General at Land, at Sea, at Plague, at Fire.
Page 32Now thou art gone, Beaufort dares here approach,
And our Fleet Angling, hath caught a Roach.
Gibson, farewel till next we put to Sea,
Faith thou hast drawn her in Effigie.