The accomplisht physician, the honest apothecary, and the skilful chyrurgeon detecting their necessary connexion and dependence on each other : withall a discovery of the frauds of the quacking empirick, the praescribing surgeon, and the practicing apothecary :

A LASH for LEX TALIONIS; OR, A just Repraehension of the Practising Apothecary.

THis preceding discourse was almost finish'd in the Im∣pression, when I chanced to spy somewhat new, prickt up against a post in a Ballad-sellers Stall, at first appearing like some strange News from Tripoly, but upon a nearer approach, observed a very worthy person Dr. Merret named i'th' Title of Lex Talionis, and in the ensuing page▪ Dr. Goddart, both very Accomplisht and Eminently Learned in their Profession; also a third, Dr. Daniel Cox, a person as ingenious as learned. These to whom the generality of judicious men dedicate a character more ample, than my narrow bounds will permit to express, were assaulted in their honour and reputation by a clandestin scurrilous Cabal of four or five Practising Apothe∣caries, raking up in the Libel forementioned all the filth and dirt the Sinck of their imagination stunk of, but with no other success than the bespattering of themselves, and defiling their own Nest. The provocation for this was no more than what passers by give to those snarling Animals, that bark at 'em, because they are none of the house; it being the sentiment of those Learned men in their Treatises, that the people were ex∣treamly imposed upon by some fraudulent Apothecaries, whom they endeavoured to divert from their impious practice by a

threat, they would attempt the praeparation of their own Medi∣cines, which the urgent occasion of a sickly season, and many inconveniences attending a private Pharmacy might easily praevail with them, to render back to those, whose establish'd employment it had been for some ages. This was the opinion of all sober and honest Apothecaries, with a censure, that the fore∣said Pamphlet was Indited by some Hermaphrodite Apothecary-Doctor to deserve a small piece, or to raise himself by causing a division between Physicians and Apothecaries; these latter de∣testing those scandalous reflexions on the whole Corporation of Physicians, and others in particular by inserting their names, a sort of impudence not common in a civilized Government, and what is more, of givng the Lye to a Gentleman, which the Lex Talionis of all Nations recompenses with a Bastonade. But give Diabolus his due, the particular naming of persons being left out, it might pass for a piece of Bouffonerie, the chief Author being fitter sor a———on the little Theatre of a Bartholomew Booth, than—sure he would have bursted had he not gi'n vent to his witty Hogshead, that was thus upon the fret; and when he has been well rackt till the Lees drop into his Breeches, his manners will shew more fine. However I'le pass one hours time to give an essay, how facil it is to retort, but without reverberating heat: (fol. 7. Lex Talionis) That the young Physician must be lodged gra∣tis in the Apothecaries house, and attended on by the Servants, and by the Mistriss into the bargain; a filthy Bird that befowls his own nest. Cancaro! What's his meaning? confesses, he holds his Trade by a contented tenure in Capite; or by giving Purges at's house, when the sign is in Capricorn, and for that reason the English Mounsieur comes not thither, without muzling his Nose un∣der his Cloak. But the Gentleman has forgot to tell you, his Trade is the onely means the Physician has to shab off his Tym∣pany-Cousin to the young Apothecary, in hopes of his Practice for her Portion, urgente necessitate, Po for that. sol. 24. The Apothecaries having a laudable custom once a year (and oftner too) as many as please, to go Herbarizing (don't say Simpling) in Guttur∣lane, where any not knowing may be instructed by those, who well un∣derstand, and are learned;—O Learned Herbwomen! (fol. 25.) he recites a fictitious story of a Carrot top; A most praegnant invention of his Carrot-pa••e imagination. (fol. 2.) for Certes

sayes he, an incomparable Gallus, whither his Brother Apothe∣cary was carried the last Sessions in the little Coach (fol. 17.) with two Wheels, up Holborn and—such another his Glyster-pipeship may keep in Time, for it would be too pedantick for our age to say the Apothecary goeth to his Countrey house. fol. 17. Of late times there being more (Doctors) Knighted, than known in so short a time. If this be the contest, as many of you shall be exalted to a Knighthood o'th' burning Pestil, with the figure Ch. in the record of your Manual; but that wil spoil your Palmestry I doubt. (fol. 2.) But Domine, was it salva conscientia, (fol. 25.) when for a truth one of your small Brethren in the Margin of's Bill, put down Item for Item and Item of Pulvis ad Anginam, being nothing but Album Graecum, each paper at half a Crown; for forty papers justo five pounds for White Dogs—and what you please besides for Tobith and's little Cur? Hush hush, all comes out; 'tis not forgotten the poor Lady in—march'd off of an Ala mode, she had got by taking some Pills Mr. Nameless had roul'd between's Teeth, to make 'em take gilt the better. Hereafter pray leave off that trick. 'Tseems Mr. Nameless had been basely paid for's Glyster; And how deservedly then the Bon Droll stiles 'em (fol. 19.) a Society, generally (none excepted?) very honest and sober men, Oiboh! Pray do n't go by t' Artichoak Leaden—str. Pils, Potions, and Quack-advice you may have, and after that a long Arithmetical Scrowl, little shorter than a Shentlemans Genealogy: This his Jong Picaro shall humbly present to you, and if you bid 'um send Ursus major, and you will pay his B••ll; ex∣pect not a Farthing abatement from the favour of a Quantum me∣ruit; for here's a plain Assumpsit; if you understand not this Knack, the Iereboams shall make you—Probatum est; for it's on Record more then once in several of the Courts. (fol. 17.) The Battle is to the strong; but they are strong, so•• they ne'r break; and how can they? three Patients i' th' Spring makes their Pot boil all the year. It's well put in, a word of the battle; for ge∣nerally they go armed with the Ivory pocket Pistol, & the Box of gilt Bullets; and Auri sacra fames, the good Old Cause, even it's that they fight for. (Fol. 18.) Their canting and formally praying over their Patients, &c. this is granted was the practice of three noted Physicians, and they got well by it, What then? Hast thou not heard of a Precious Brother of thine, who like a little Stone∣horse

mounted the great Tub, and with a sence of feeling, how heartily did he recommend his precious Elizir vitae to dis dear Sisters, and so powerfully did press it home to 'em; and at length O how fervently did they embrace it! All had been well, and they had still continued in the same perswasion, had not that wretch Brother Nameless held forth his poysonous Box of Oint∣ment, almost to the utter destruction of their sweet enjoyment, and their comfortable fellowship; But how precious an An∣tidote was Mercurius Dulcis then, to rebuke that evil spirit Lust and Conven tickling had let in among 'em? Nemo omnibus horis sapit, may as well be verified of this Apothecary as any other, when he bought dryed Eels for Vipers, to make Trochisci, for his Venice Threacle, an Admirable Antidote! (fol. 9.) for doubtless (says he) the discreet Apothecary being learned, may make a far abler Physician than he an Ahothecary; for it's but joyning the Theory of Physick with his Practick, and he may be compleat; what? a compleat Mountebank! conceditur; but quomodo pulvis signior Apo∣thecary, the joyning of the Theory with the Practick? possibly the joyning of Culpepper with the Glysterpipe; or Poor Robin's Almanack with the Pestil and Mortar; seriouslr a very compleat Physician. Complamatum est; and from that rule (fol. 12) all Fools or Physiciaus indeed, or both, if he'll accept on't: (fol. 25.) for ex quovis ligno non fit Mercurius, i. e. ex quovis wooden Apo∣thecary non fit Medicus. But whence had your Worship all those ends of Latin? sure th'are the parings of some University Cobler; for confident I am the learn'd Author's Gotham as∣sistants are scarce guilty of knowing the first letter of the Greek I' th' title, though it proved their neck Verse (fol 25.) the Apo∣thecary if he would understand the practice (a contradiction now con∣fessing their ignorance i' th' Practick) and Theory of Physick, or any question that can be asked, (what turn Astrologer too!) let him buy Frambesarius, the best piece ever Duns studied to answer's Quodlibets; that's th'use on't. Though when he trug'd to Cambridg for a degree of Blockhead in Physick, Don Quixot falter'd most abominably, being better vers'd in Priscian than Galen. Quot sunt partes Me∣dicinae? Answer'd quinque. Primo, to perswade a Customer in health he's sick. Secundo, to give him a Pill that shall make him sick. Tertio, to ••amp him up with Cordials. Quarto, to make im believe he's well, though now sick indeed. Quinto,

to present 'im with a long Bill; if trap be the word go on and prosper. (fol. 26.) he comments on an ingenious book de Fer∣mentatione, like an Asinus ad byram; as if the learned Author had not been able to explain's own thoughts, nevertheless runs on mistaking the thing all along. But my friend, when you have thorowly perused the Praxis Riverli (fol. 26.) and Primroses En∣chridium, still it will be but Simia est simia, etiamsi aurea gestet in∣signia, in English a debauch'd Apothecary. Neither will your Asinary canting on the fermentation (fol. 27.) for a specimen of their wonderful pretended progress in Physick, excuse 'em from being—in print; (fol. 25.) Let but a rational learned Apo∣thecary, &c. Guarda la gamba! A rational learned swabber in Phy∣sick, a Pot-carry! and why may not a Rational learned Chimney∣sweeper add but somewhat of the Theory (verba codicis) to his former observations, be better fitted for practice, and I would sooner engage him than many a Pot-carry. I mar'l tro' your Worship forgets they have travelled too as well as Physicians; 'tis confessed they have; but 'twas on Balaam's Ass, from the Village of Ignorance, through the Town of Cheat'em in Long-bill-shire, till they came to the strong Castle of Impudence. Passe par la stil, but in your Travels, have a care of the little Coach, they make an ugly halt by the way, unless the Coachman will ingage to bring you back, and yet ▪t would be dangerous to take's word. Pray good folks, a word of advice; leave off this rambling, off with your travelling garb, the Plush Jacket, and the broad brim'd Hat, 'tis but Vulpes sub pelle Leonis, and on with your blew Aprons again, the Musick of the Pestil and Mortar will sound pleasanter than the Passing Bell; for Pot-carry is but quasi to the Pit-carry, and your Practicing quasi Prating. Now let's Blazon the Primitive of your derived so eminent Profession, as he call's it. Apothecary Pot-carry, Pot-carry Pit-carry, Pit-carry Picaro. O Picaro, art thou the Father of so eminent a Generation! then may I say with the Author in the farewell of his Prologue; From a Picaro-Pit-carry-Apothecary Libera me Domine.

FINIS.