Citt and Bumpkin, or, A learned discourse upon swearing and lying and other laudable qualities tending to a thorow reformation : the second part.

The Second Part.

Citt.

LEt's ee'n jogg on to Hampstead then; and talk it out, where we may Look about us.

Bum.

True man's a meddling-Coxcomb, and there's an end on't. An Eves-dropping-Cur, to bolt in upon us out of a Closet so.

Citt.

'Tis as I told ye,* 1.1 Bumpkin, and ye may lay it down for a Maxim; that SWEARING and LYING Governs the World.

Bum.

Why what do ye think of Canting, Cousening, Plotting, Poysoning, Supplanting, Suborning.

Citt.

'Tis all from the Same Root, and the Conning of This Lesson makes ye Master of your Trade.

Bum.

Of what Trade, as thou lov'st me?

Citt.

The Trade of Mankind, Bumpkin; the Trade of Knavery: The Trade of turning Dirt into Gold: The Trade of Advancing Rascalls, and Overturning Governments; the Trade of taking the Covenant with One hand, and Cutting a Throat with the Other; the Trade of the Temple-walks; The honest Affidavit-Trade.

Bum.

But dost thou call this an Honest Trade, Citt?

Citt.

Yes, yes, Bumpkin, it is a very Honest Trade that a man's the Better for; and he's a very Honest Man too that lives by his Calling. Why it brings Power, and Reputation along with it; nay and it brings Mony too, that brings Everything.

Bum.

Reputation say'st thou? why they're two of the Damn'dest Qualities in Nature.

Citt.

And yet these two Damn'd Qualities, as thou cal'st them, got the Better of the Late King; and afterward of the Commons; and after That, of the Protector; and to be Plain with ye, Bum∣kin, 'tis all that we our selves have to trust to.

Bum.

I cannot imagine what kind of Swearing and Lying it is that ye speak of.

Citt.

I do not speak of the way of the Bulleys; the Dam-me∣b••ys, or the Irish Cut-throats: I hate that Confounding, Damning, Sinking,* 1.2 Rotting humour of Swearing. I am for the Swearing Sel∣dome, and to Purpose; that is to say, for the Engaging of a Par∣ty; or for the making out of a Stabbing Evidence, or so.

Bum.

Oh ho, I understand ye now: and the Scrupling of a Small Oath gives a man Credit in a Great One.

Citt.

There's a great difference,* 1.3 betwixt Swearing in a Re∣ligious-way, and in a Profane; though the Substance of the Thing Sworn come all to the same Passe: for there's Heaven, and Hell in the case, on both sides. As in the Instance now of the Late Protestations, Vows, Oaths, and Covenants, that were Sworn in the Presence of the Allmighty and Everliving God; and as the Lords and Commons should Answer for't at the Last day: In asser∣tion of their Zeal, and Affection for His Majesties Honour, and Authority, and the Establishment of our Religion, Laws, and Liberties. What a Dignity, what a Majesty is here in the very Stile, and Number! Though in the Conclusion let me tell ye, the Project went quite to another Tune.

Bum.

Ay ay; the Damme of the Covenant in the Church strikes a man with such a Reverence methinks, over the Hectors Scanda∣lous Damme in a Tavern.

Citt.

Most acutely observ'd: for the Scandall lies in the Condi∣tion of the Place, and in the Sound of the words, not in the Meaning of them.

Bum.

I had Terrible Qualmes at first,* 1.4 Citt, about the Swal∣lowing of Oaths, and other Puntillos of Scruple; but they are nothing so Frequent of Late, nor so Troublesome as they were wont to be.

Citt.

That will All over Bumpkin in time. Where's the Good Fellow that did not Puke upon his First Debauch! And a Bawd is never the lesse Reverend, because she Whimper'd perhaps some Five and Fifty Years agoe, for the Losse of her Maydenhead. Nay it was a good while, before our Hero's Themselves could bring their Oaths of Allegiance, and their Covenants to Conjobble together.

Bum.

Why for that matter; All's but Use Citt; All's but Use.

Citt.

Nothing in the World else: And when a man has got the Trick on't, if he has taken Twenty Oaths, hee'le fetch ye up any One of them again, that you'le call for, with as much ease, as the Water-drinker at Bartholomew-Fair does his Several Liquors.

Bum.

It is certain,* 1.5 that an Oath, or the calling of God to Wit∣nesse, is the most Solemn, and Universall Tye in Nature, and so Accompted, among People of all Nations, and Opinions.

Citt.

And there's no doubt, but the Influence that it has up∣on mens minds, is the most Powerfull of all Impressions; and of the greatest effect, in the Manage of our most Important af∣fairs. So that it is no wonder to see all matters of the Highest moment, as well Private, as Publique, as well Warrantable, as Not, committed to this way of Caution, and Test.

Bum.

'Tis very true, as in the Case of Testimony, Civil Duty, and Canonical Obedience.

Citt.

Now as the Wit of Man could never invent a more Competent Expedient,* 1.6 then These Oaths, well apply'd, for the Maintainance of the Government, and the Support of Publick Ju∣stice: So whosoever would Dissolve this Frame, must finde a way to introduce OTHER OATHS in Opposition to These; and to turn the Edg of the Law, and of the Gospel, against it self, by drawing the most Popular Lawyers, and Divines into the Party. This is the Naked Truth of the business; and to deal plainly with ye, unless you give me your Solemn Oath, that you'l be True to me, and Firm to the Cause in hand, I must not move one Inch further.

Bum.

Why then by all that was ever sworn by before, I will be Both.

Citt.

The League is now struck, and the sooner we Unmasque, the better; for it begets Freedom, and Confidence in each Other.

Bum.

Here are two difficulties in the way, which I would fain have remov'd; the One is, how to get the People to take such an Oath of Opposition as is here Imagin'd; and the Other is how to Counte∣nance, and Palliate the keeping of That Oath, when they have Ta∣ken it.

Citt.

It was the Masterpiece of our Late Reformers,* 1.7 to Con∣trive such an Oath, as in the Sense, and Grammer of it carry'd the face of a Provision for the Common benefit, and Security, both of King and People, upon pretence that the Government Civil, and Ecclesiastical, and the Protestant Religion it self were all in danger. This plausible Imposture went down with the Common People, without much Examination; especially under the Co∣lour of a Parliamentary Authority to back it: And it was so far from appearing at first Blush, to thwart the Regular Oaths of the Government, that it seem'd to the Multitude, rather to Second

and Enforce them. But when they came to finde, that they had sworn to they knew not what, and that This Covenant, being Originally design'd for an Engine to Vnhinge the Government, the Takers of it were ty'd up to the sense of the Imposers: They had but this Choice before 'um; either to comply with the Ends of the Caball that set it a foot, or to deliver up their Lives, and Fortunes at Mercy.

Bum.

So that the Letter of the Oath, was For the Government, and the Intent Against it. But what Arguments did they use for the supporting of it, after the Discovery of the Fraud?

Citt.

Only the Common Arguments of Exorbitant Power; Jayls, Plunders, Confiscations, Axes, Gibbets, &c. for breach of Co∣venant.

Bum.

Well, but there was a Train of Contradictory Oaths af∣terward, One upon the heel of another, thorough I know not how many Changes of State; what became of the Covenant in those Revoluti∣ons?

Citt

The Single Covenant had all those Oaths in the Belly of it;* 1.8 and as many more, as it is possible to find Cases within the Compasse of human Apprehension: For it imported an Absolute and Implicit Resignation to the Will and Pleasure, of whoever was Vppermost; so that the Submissions of those times were only look't upon as Passive, and Temporary Yieldings to the Present Power, still as One Interest justled out another.

Bum.

And there were some too, it may be, that when they were once Fool'd out of the way, made it a matter of Conscience not to be set Right again.

Citt.

Oh, there were a great many that thought themselves bound by the Latter Oath, and Discharg'd of the Former; Especi∣ally, when they had got the better end of the Staff, and All Pow∣er is from God, in Their Favour. But to be short, whatout of Fear, Shame, Weakness, Obstinacy, and the like; they stuck to the Com∣bination, and made themselves Masters of the Government.

Bum.

You have here set forth in this famous Instance of the Cove∣nant, how Easily and by what Means the Multitude may be inveigled into Engagements; and you have laid open the Consequences of such Leagues, and the Difficulty of Retriving them: But how shall we apply. This Modell now to our Purpose?

Citt.

Why just as They apply'd the Holy League of France, to Theirs: for the Common people have the very same Passions, the

same Weaknesses, Now, that they had then: and if some of our Cock-brayn'd Zelots had not out-run the Constable, we might have been half way to our Journeys end by this time.

Bum.

Nay the truth of it is Citt;* 1.9 the Nation is nothing near so hott upon the businesse now, as they were some Ten or Twelve months agoe: and they grow still cooler and cooler methinks, every day more then other.

Citt.

And what's the Reason of all This, now? we play out Game too open, and the Plot's Discover'd.

Bum.

Well well Citt, some body will smoak for this One day.

Citt.

If we could have contented our selves with an Orderly Emprovement of the Popish Conspiracy, and gone thorough the work of Religion, before we meddled with Matter of State; we had done the Jobb, but the Republicans hurry'd us on so fast: (Ay and Great ones too) I should be lo••h (as thou sayst) to be in some of their Jackets for't.

Bum.

Nay really I was sensible of it my self, that they did things hand over head; and ran on many times without either Fear or Wit. But however, I shouldbe glad to be particularly Instructed how far they did Well or Ill, What they should have done instead on't, where they did amiss; and what we our selves are to do, as the Case stands with Vs at present.

Citt.

This is a Contemplation well digested, and I'le speak by and by to thy four Questions in course as they lye.

We have been hammering (thou knowest) at Popery,* 1.10 Ceremo∣nies, Subscriptions, Oaths, and Tests, Liberty of Conscience, and now and then a snap at Arbitrary Power, ever since the King came in, without gaining any ground upon the Government more then what we bought with our hard mony; that is to say, so many flowers of the Crown, for so many Taxes, and Supplies. (The Nation being divided upon these Points, and the Crown and Church-Party standing in Opposition to the Other). At length broke out this accursed Design upon the Life of our So∣vereign, and our Establish'd Religion. Which Providence united Both Interests in One Common Cause, though with differing Ends.

Bum.

This you' l say, was a fair Foundation laid, as to the Total destruction of the Papists, but when That's done, Citt, where are we to be Next?

Citt.

Why that will never be done man;* 1.11 while there's a Sur∣plice or a Blew Garter in the Three Kingdoms. For there's your

Church-Papist, your Pentioner-Papist, your Papist in Masquerade, your Concealed Papist, these are all of••um forty times worse then your Known, Jesuited, and Barefaced Papist. And in One word, 'tis as easy a thing to give any man the mark of the Beast, that stands in Our way, as for a Horse-courser to make a Star in a Jades Forehead.

Bum.

Without all doubt Citt, and whosoever does not Petition, Protest, Associate, Covenant, Act, and Believe as We do, is a Rank Papist.

Citt.

Nay,* 1.12 I'le go further with ye Bumkin; I'le tell ye by a mans Evidence, his Furniture, his Trunk, his Brains, or his Estate, without ever examining his Faith, whether he be a Protestant or a Papist. I have led ye a little out of your way, to shew ye this secret, and assure your self, whenever this Cloak fails ye, y'are left Naked: But now to the Question of menaging This Occasion.

So far as the Court,* 1.13 the Church, and the Bench went along with us, in the Opening, the Exposing, the Discountenancing, and pas∣sing Sentence upon this Hellish Plot, we could not do amiss. And then it was well follow'd, in getting the Popish Lords out of the House; In dividing the Order of Bishops, into Three Protestants, and the Rest, Papists; as it has been since, in feeding the Peoples Jealousies all over the Kingdom, with daily Intelligences of New Fires, New Plots, New Discoveries, to keep their Fears Waking, though in most Cases without any Ground whatsoever.

Bum.

'Twas a plain thing there, in some of the Penmen of the Nar∣rative to bring the King into the Plot against himself, was't not?

Citt.

Well, and was it not a notable Push, to charge it so home upon the Council, that they would clap Vp no body for't?

Bum.

And really, to give the Intelligences their due, they ha'n't spar'd telling his Majesty, the Judges, and the Bishops, their Own neither.

Citt.

It has been well enough done too, to brand those for Publick Enemies, that would not go along with us; and for Po∣pishly-Affected, that but so much as open their Mouths for Mode∣ration; to ply his Majesty with Petitions, the City and Country, with Speeches, Remonstrances, and Appeals. The Starting the Case of the Succession was not amiss neither, nor the President of Queen Elizabeths Association.

Bum:

But I have heard my Old Master speak of that Association, as a Trick of State, with a special regard to the Queen of Scots, and••

that though Cambden makes the Queen say that she had no know∣ledge of it before it was presented, he does not say so yet himself.

Citt.

There have been several Deliberations also upon En∣tring into Publick Protestations of Joyning as One man against Pope∣ry, that have been very Favourable to our Purpose: And it was no Ill Contrivance, the Burning of the Pope, with that Solemni∣ty in Fleet-street.

Bum.

And what do ye think of the List of the Unanimous Club of Voters? (That about the Court Pensioners I mean;) That was a Notable device, let me tell ye: for hardly any of them got into the House after. But still if all this has been so much to our Advantage, how comes it that we lose Ground, and that any thing else should take place A∣gainst us.

Citt.

We may e'en thank a Company of Hot-headed Fools in our own Party.* 1.14 For taking off the Masque too soon; and for Wri∣ting and Printing so unseasonably against the Civil Government whatever came uppermost: which they have done to that de∣gree of Inconsiderate Rashness, that the Long Parliament had an Army in the Field, before they ventur'd half so far. They have already set the Lords and Commons above the King, plac'd the Government in the People, nay, they have been Nibbling alrea∣dy at the Militia, the Power of Life and Death, and of Calling, and Dissolving Parliaments: They have Reviv'd the 19 Old Propositions; tearing his Majesties Servants, and Ministers out of the very Arms of their Master; and they have as good as told the King in plain terms before-hand, what he is to Trush to, I do not speak here of any of our Parliamentary Proceedings; but of the Licence of Private Libertines that write and talk at random.

Bum.

Nay 'tis but too True, Citt; For't has been cast in my Teeth Twenty times: Matters are come to a fine Passe, they cry, when the Kings Life is to be preserv'd by those that would take the Crown off on's head; and the Protestant Religion by the Pro∣fest Enemies of the Church of England. But now ye have told me wherein they did Well and Ill, let me hear in the Next place what they should have done if You had been their Adviser.

Citt.

They should have Perpetuated the Apprehensions of Pope∣ry by Good Husbandry and Manage; without running the whole Party down at a Heat, till there was hardly a Papist left in a Country for a man to throw his Cap at.

Bum.

Why That's the thing, man; They have destroy'd the Game

to that degree that we are e'en ready to Eat up one another.

Citt.

Ay, ay;* 1.15 So many Poachers, they have spoyl'd all: We should have kept a stock of Priests and Jesuits in Reserve, and playd'um off now and then, one after another at Leisure. This would have entertain'd the Multitude well enough; and kept the Humour in a Ferment, and Disposition for greater matters.

Bum.

Very Right, Citt; We should have Hang'd to day as we may Hang to morrow; for an Execution is an Execution; if it be but of One, as well as of Twenty.

Citt.

Yes,* 1.16 and we see besides, that much Bloud, and Nume∣rous Executions turn the Holy Rage of a People many times into a Foolish, and Degenerate Pitty: over and above, that at the Other Thrifty rate, we could never have wanted matter to work upon.

Bum.

There's hardly any thing, Citt; that has done us more Mischief,* 1.17 then the Accusing of This Lord, That Commoner; This Bishop, That Alderman; This Citizen, That Country-Gentle∣man; for Popishly-Affected; when the whole world knows'um to be Church-of England-Protestants. One crys 'tis Spite to the Person, Another will have it to be Malice to the Government; a Third calls the Enformers a Company of Rogues, that Care not what they say, and brings a Scandall upon better Evidence, Nay and who knows at last, but these pittyfull Fellows may be set on by the Papists, to dispa∣rage the Plot?

Citt.

Not unlikely Bumpkin; For there's nothing makes men more Secure, and Carelesse, in the Case of Reall Dangers, then the Frequent Triffing of them with False Alarms. But yet let me tell ye, as to the Other point; that it is not Simply the Charging of men, (according to your Instances) for Popishly-affected, but the Charging of them Vnreasonably, that does Us the great Mis∣chief. For our work will never go on without Popery; and ra∣then Want Papists, we must Create them. But This is not a Project to be perfected at a Heat.

Bum.

And we are not in Condition, Citt; to wait the doing of it by Degrees. What becomes of us Now Then?

Citt.

Oh, set your heart at ease for That, Bumkin. we have Twenty Irons in the Fire; and if those fail, we'le have twen∣ty Fires more, and Twenty times as many Irons again in every Fire. We should have gone on, fair and softly, in the very steps of our Predecessors: But if men will leave the plain Road,

and be trying Experiments, upon their Own Heads, over Hedge and Ditch, to finde out a nearer way to their Journeys End;* 1.18 who can help it, if they break a Leg or an Arm by the way, and so fall short at last?

Bum.

Why then 'tis but so much time lost, and going back into the Road again.

Citt.

Just as if when a man has shewed himself and Frighted up the Fowl, you should send him back again to his Stalking-horse to make his Shoot. But as it is, however, we must make the best of a Bad Game, and take our measures as we see Oc∣casion.

Bum.

As how, take our Measures, I prethee?

Citt.

As thus Bumkin. We must shape our Course,* 1.19 according to the Circumstances before us, with a respect to the Power, and Interest of Parties, Change of Counsels, and to the State, the Humour, and the Instruments of Government: So that what's Be∣neficial to day, may be Dangerous to morrow, and perhaps Profi∣table again the Next.

Bum.

But how shall the Common People judge of these Nice∣ties?

Citt.

Why they are not to Judge at all ye Fool; but to be me∣nag'd, with Invisible Wires like Puppets; and not to know either the Why, or the What, of things, but to do as they are bid.

Bum.

I have been expecting a good while that ye should say some∣thing concerning Swearing.

Citt.

Why so I Have, and so I Will. But I'le first give ye the whole Scheme of the business in short. The Government can ne∣ver be Vndermin'd, but by a Confederacy; there can be no Con∣federacy without an Oath: Nor any thought of a Popular Oath, without a Colour of some Authority to Countenance it; Nor any Colourable Authority, but in a Well-Affected House of Commons; and that Qualification depends wholly upon a Right Choice of the Members, as that Choice again depends upon the good Incli∣nation of those that Chuse them.

Bum.

So that the Good-Will of the People is the Key of the Work; and we have gain'd that point already.

Citt.

We HAD gain'd it Bumkin,* 1.20 but they fall off most con∣foundedly. The next step, is a Well-principled House of Commons. (and the Rest follows in Course,) How this will prove I know not; but the Nation has been warn'd sufficiently against your

Ecclesiastieal Officers, Prelatical Men, Courtiers, Pentioners, De∣bauchees, and the like.

Bum.

Nay, we made the veriest Rogues of'um, in the Countrys too: As Papists, Atheists, and the Devil and all. And yet, let me tell ye, the Court, and Country-Party carry'd it in many places in spite of the Hearts of us; but that's no fault of Ours, you'l say. Hold a little, Did not you tell me t'other day that we should bring our Petiti∣ons about again?

Citt.

Yes, I did, but the Committee has taken up Other Re∣solutions since; for it made such a Noise ye see, that people were taken Notice of, and undone by't. This phansy of Pro∣roguing, and Dissolving, has dasht all.

Bum.

So that Petitioning is quite out of Doors then.

Citt.

No, not so neither, Bumpkin; but we must look here∣after to the Timing and to the Matter of our Petitions. Our Cock∣brain'd Linnen-Draper there made a Filthy stir; I would his Tongue had been in a Cleft-stick.

Bum.

Well; but there are Swinging Petitions afoot yet, for all This.

Citt.

Nay we may live to see some of the Lords Spirituall and Temporall upon their Mary-bones yet, before we have done with 'um. But not a word of This, till we see how the Parlia∣ment's in Tune for't.

Bum.

And That's but Reason, Citt; for fear We should be for One thing, and They for Another.

Citt.

Wherefore 'twas wisely done of the Long Parliament,* 1.21 to have a Private Cabal of their Own: For so long as they drew the Petitions Themselves, the House, and the Petitioners would be sure to agree upon the Matter.

Bum.

So much for the Timing, and the Matter of Petitions. But when shall we come to the point of Swearing, Citt?

Citt.

I'le lead ye to't in a Trice; First we Petition, for one thing after another, till we come at last to be Deny'd; The next advance is to Associate, and Then, to Swear.

Bum.

Well! but This must be under the Banner of the Peoples Re∣presentative.

Citt.

No doubt on't; and That's the Easiest thing in the World to compasse, if we can but, First, get a Right House of Commons; and then, Liberty for them to Sitt till all Grievances be Redrest: which was the very end of putting in a Clause for't, in the Late Petition?

Bum.

If we could bring it to That once, we should be just in the Old Track again. But what kind of Oath must it be at last?

Citt.

It must be an Oath made up of Ambiguities,* 1.22 and Holy Words; not a half-penny matter for the Sense on't; for you must know, that tho' it looks like an Oath of Religion, on the One side, 'tis an Oath of Allegiance, on the Other; and a Disclaimer of the King's, in Submission to the Sovereignty of the Commons.

Bum.

There's no great Question to be made of the Effect of such an Oath, and such a Conjuncture, as is here suppos'd; but how shall we come at it I pre'thee?

Citt.

Time, and Patience Overcome all things, Bumpkin. We have Friends, Brains, Mony, and the grace of making the best of our Opportunities. One man is wrought upon by Ambition; Another by Avarice; a Third by Revenge; and we have our ways of Accesse to all Humours, and Persons. How many Favo∣rites do we read of, that for fear of Impeachments, have Sacri∣fie'd their Masters, to save their own skins. For Princes themselves are not without their Tractable, and Easy Seasons, of being Pre∣vail'd upon.

Bum.

From what you have here deliver'd,* 1.23 I draw This Generall Conclusion; that Change of Accidents must of Necessity produce Change of Methods, and Resolutions: (Provided allways, that there be still maintain'd a Tendency, tho' by Severall ways, to the Same End) and that, in all Cases, the Oath is the Sanction of the Confederacy.

Citt.

You have it Right thus farr, Bumpkin; and you see what Power an Oath has as well upon the Bodies, as the Minds of men; even to the blowing up of the Soundest Foundations, and to the drawing Order afterward out of That Confusion. You see, in short, the Effects of it in a Politicall way; and the Ordinary Means of gaining it. You would not think now, what an Ad∣vantage He has above Other People, in the Common Affairs and Bus'nesse of the world, (even betwixt Man and Man) that has been train'd up in This School of Popular Confederacies, and Contracts.

Bum.

Nay,* 1.24 Practice, and Experience are Mighty Helps, be∣yond all peradventure: But yet I have seen some People go a great way in Swearing, by the meer strength of Nature.

Citt.

Yes, yes; for a Down-right Dunstable, Thorough-pac'd way of Swearing; a Ready Tongue, with a good Memory; and a

Competent stock of Assurance will do very Pretty things.

Bum.

Why I had a Friend to'ther day that was at a Losse for a Release; he made no more adoe, but away into Alsatia, where he told his Story in the Hearing of two Competent Witnesses; and whip Sir Jethro they had him in a Twinkling, and so brought him off with Honour.

Citt.

This Old Fashion'd way did well enough in Straffords days and Laud's: But we are now Infinitely Refin'd. And yet I cannot but allow that a Happy Genius may do a great deal that way; but when you come to Casuisticall Points that require Rea∣ding, Conference, and Invention; what will become of your Tho∣rough-pac'd Alsatia-man, do ye think, with his Naturall Talent?

Why thou art in the Altitudes, Citt; a Casuisticall Oath say'st? What is the knack of That same Casuisticall Oath, I pre'thee?

Citt.

A Casuisticall Oath,* 1.25 Bumpkin; is an Oath with a Nicety in it: which Nicety may be solv'd Two ways; either by bringing the Oath to the Conscience, or the Conscience to the Oath. As for Example; The Covenant was a Casuisticall Oath, wherein the Words were First brought to the Conscience, and then the Consci∣ence to the Intent.

Bum.

Let me put some Cases to ye,* 1.26 suppose a Man sworn out of his Right by One False Oath: Whether or no may a Body swear him into't again by Another?

Citt.

Without dispute you may: (See the Holy Common-Wealth.) For it becomes an Oath of Providence, when it is ap∣ply'd to the maintenance, and support of Truth, and Justice. And this holds too in swearing against the Enemies of the Gospel; when the Excellency of the End a tones for the Iniquity of the Means. Or at worst, 'tis but venturing to become a Cast-away (after a Scripture Example) for a General Good.

Bum.

Ay,* 1.27 that's a sure way Citt, for a man to shew a Text for all he does. As how should the Saints have warranted their Violence against the Late King, and his Loyal Nobility; if it had not been for that Text in their favour, they shall binde their Kings in Chains and their Nobles in Links of Iron.

Citt.

Or let us imagine that a man has a Wife and Children, and not a bit of bread to put into their Heads: what do you think of a False Oath in such a Case, for a Livelyhood?

Bum.

Nothing Plainer, for he's worse then an Infidel that does not provide for his Family.

Citt.

But then here's Another Subtlety for ye:* 1.28 One man swears what he thinks, and it proves False: Another swears what he does Not think, and it proves True. As thus, I see a Person walking in his Formalities, and swear, there goes such a Doctor; and it proves to be a Baboon; I see somebody in the Chair, and take him for a man of Quality, and he proves to be a Knight of the Post.

Bum.

This is only swearing to the best of a mans knowledge.

Citt.

But what if I should swear that Gentleman in the Gown, to be a Baboon, and the other resemblance of a man of Quality, to be a Knight of the Post: And yet, without my believing either the One or the Other, they prove to be such, How goes That point.

Bum.

Such an Averment (I conceive) is to be taken rather for an Inspiration, then an Oath.

Citt.

Now there's Another way of swearing too:* 1.29 And that is, with a Salvo, or Reserve; which the Doctors of the Separation have in great Perfection (the Jesuits call it a Mental Reserva∣tion) as the King's IVST Priviledges:—According to the BEST-REFORMED Churches:—As far as LAW∣FVLLY I may—and the like.

Bum.

What do ye think of Him that parting from a good Fellow with a Pot at's Head,* 1.30 made Affidavit in Court (to excuse his Non∣appearing) that he left him in such a Condition that he be∣liev'd he could not live a Quarter of an hour in't?

Citt.

Ay, ay, and the guiding of a Dead mans hand to the signing of a Deed, and then swearing to the Hand, these are Vulgar shifts.

Bum.

But pray'e what's the meaning of that Text that says, swear not at all? For we must live up to our Rule.

Citt.

If we had not Other Texts to Justify swearing,* 1.31 we must have understood it according to the Letter. This is only meant of Profane, Customary, Vain, and Inconsiderate Swearing, without either Provocation, or Profit. And it is better certainly, for a man to make his Fortune by One Pertinent Oath, securing his Fu∣ture State, by a matter of twenty pound a year, to a Lecture, when he dyes; then to go to the Devil, out at the Elbows, for a Million of Idle ones.

Bum.

But what did ye mean, e'en now by Conference, and In∣vention about swearing?

Citt.

Conference is nothing in the World but putting of your Fiddles in ••une:* 1.32 And Invention helps every man in the Gracing of his Part. But then there's the Invention WHAT, and the Invention HOW; the Invention of the Matter, and the Inven∣tion of the Manner? 'Tis enough, as to the Matter, that it be fitted to the stress of the Question: But the Regulating of the Manner requires great Skill, Care, and Judgement. There's nothing that more recommends an Evidence, either to the Bench, or Jury, then Modesty of Behaviour, (even to the degree of Bashfulness) Mildness of Speech; a seeming Scruple of being Positive, where the point is nothing to the Purpose: but a Dis∣overy of Passion, Ficrecnesse, and Prepossession in a Cause, spoils all, and makes the Testimony look like Malice, or Revenge.

Bum.

I'm instructed thus far. But where's the Advantage all this while, that an Old Covenanter has of a Novice, as you were saying e••en now?

Citt.

Oh, they are Many, and Great. First, he has gotten the Command of his Conscience,* 1.33 and brought it to Stop, and Turn, at pleasure, Secondly, He's true to his Marque, spring him what Game ye will, he Flys it Home. Thirdly, he has the Digestion of an Estrich; for after the Swallowing of the Crown, and the Mi∣tre, there's nothing rises in his Stomach. Fourthly, there's no fear of him, for snivlling, or Repenting, and telling of Tales; for he's above the Common Fooleries of Counsel, Argument, or Remorse.

Bum.

Nay, 'tis with our Consciences as with our Jades; a Phansy, or a Wind-mill, puts them out of their Wits, till they're us'd to't. And there's no fear of his Flinching neither, I'le grantye: For a Conscience that has stood firm under the Ruine of Three Kingdoms, will never Boggle sure in the Case of Single Persons. And yet I find many of our Old Stagers come about too. How shall I distinguish now which of them are Sound, and which Rotten at Heart?

Citt.

There were Some, ye must know, that swore either in Simplicity, or to save a Stake: And Others, in Design. Now those that were Noos'd Before, may be hamper'd Again; and those that comply'd for Advantage, Then, will do so Still. And for the Designers, they may be known by the favour they shew to their Old Principles, and Friends; which is an Infallible sign of the Old Leaven in them still.

Bum.

I'm of thy Opinion, Citt; and that they'le do us tho Service still, of Honourable spies in an Enemies Quarter.

Citt.

But what do we talk of True,* 1.34 and False; which, in this Fallible world, is little more then Matter of Opinion? A True Oath, Out-Sworn, passes for a False one; and a False Oath, not detected passes for a True one: So that the Scandall of the One, and the Reputation of the Other is a thing of Meer Chance. Nay, in the practice of the World, 'tis rather the Folly, then the Crime of the Falshood that marques a man for a Rascall: For why should Perjury be more Veniall in One Case, then 'tis in Ano∣ther? Dam-me, Sirrah, (says a Huff to his Lacquay) if I don't beat your Brains out; and yet he does not so much as Touch him. A young Fellow says a thousand times more to his Mistresse, or to his Creditour, and makes not one word of it good. A Bully will do as much to an Unbelieving Taylor for a Suit of Clothes, tho' he never intends to pay him. And yet here's no Talk of Inditements, Pilleries, or Loss of Lugs in the Case.

Bum.

The Reason holds, I must Confess; tho' the Instances do not perfectly Agree: For the One is an Oath Originally False in the Matter of it; and the Other is an Oath, made False by a Subse∣quent breach of it.

Citt.

Well, but all is For-swearing still. And why a Perjury in Choler, in Love; for a Paultry Sum of Mony, or a pair of pit∣tyfull Trowzes, should passe only as words of Course, and yet so much Load he laid upon a stretch for the Relief of a Necessitous Family, the gaining of an Estate, the Preserving of Religion; and perhaps the Conversion of a Kingdome: This is a thing, I say, that I do not Comprehend.

Bum.

This is the Law; the Law, Citt; the damn'd Law! that's the ruine of us all. And what is this Law at last?

Citt.

It is just throwing up of Cross or Pile in a Vote. We took Crosse, and it happen'd to be Pile; and so we lost it. In short, and in Earnest, we are guilty of Breach of Faith in the most So∣lemn duties of our Christian Profession.

Bum.

Thou hast spoken more for the Power, the Mystery, and the Benefits of Swearing, then the whole Assembly of Divines, the blessed Synod Themselves. I prethee try thy skill, now, upon the Faculty of LYING; which as it Naturally goes before the Other, so I think it should have preceded too in the Order of place.

Citt.

So it does, and it should have so preceded; but that

Swearing and Lying comes better off the Tongue, methinks, then Lying and Swearing.

Bum.

This Lying is but a Course word; the precise folk in the Country call it Fibbing; but That will not do so Well neither: For Fib∣bing and Lying, differ just as Tripping, and Stumbling, or in some sense, as Jest and Earnest. So that I find it must be Lying at last.

The Laudable Faculty of LYING.

Citt.

To handle the point Methodically, Bumpkin, there are Lyes,* 1.35 Tacit, and Expresse. Tacit, as by Looks, Signs, Acti∣ons, Gestures, Inarticulate Tones: Expresse, as Words at Length; and those are Lyes either of Creation, Composition, Substraction, Amplification, or Addition: I might carry it farther to Lyes Ec∣clesiasticall, and Civill; but I'm loth to spin the Thrid too Fine.

Bum.

These are High points, Citt; how shall a man tell a Lye I pre'thee, without Opening his Mouth?

Citt.

Why? did'st thou never hear of the Language of the Fingers? But the Question is here upon Hinting One thing, and Meaning Another; and Especially in Politiques, and Religion, in order to a Thorough Reformation.

Bum.

I have heard a world of Talk of that same Thorough Re∣formation;* 1.36 all our Meetings ring on't; and there's such a deal of Clutter about the Babylonish Garment; the not leaving of a Hoof behind; Root and Branch, and the Like: But I could never reach the bottom on't yet.

Citt.

Take notice then that there is a Simple, or Partiall Re∣formation,* 1.37 and there is a Thorough Reformation; the First, in the Language of the Reformers, is only Pruning of some Exorbitancies in Church and State; As the Regulating of the Kings Courts, paring the Nails of the Prerogative; the Lopping off here and there a Rotten Lord, or a Popish Bishop; the Removall of an Evill Coun∣cellor, the purging of a Disaffected House of Commons, or so: The Other leaves no King, no Lord, no Bishop, no House of Commons at all; and briefly, it signifies the turning of a Monarchy into a Common-wealth,* 1.38 an Episcopacy into a Presbytery, and our Great Charter into our Will and Pleasure. In One word; it is Dismoun∣ting of our Superiors, and getting our selves into the Saddle.

Bum.

Well, but This must be done by degrees.

Citt.

Ay marry must it, Bumpkin; and many a good morrow too, before we come to the point. There must be Petition upon Petition; Remonstrances; Grievances; Popery; Tender Consciences; Fastings; Secking of the Lord, Religion, Liberty, and Protestations, without End.

Bum.

Yes, yes, ye told me somewhat of this before, but it lies in a little compass; We must Get what we can by Begging, and then Take the Rest.

Citt.

But now let me shew ye in General,* 1.39 how this is to be done. Whatsoever lessens the Government, and Exalts the Dis∣senters in the Eyes of the People, we are to consider as a proper Medium toward a Thorough-Reformation; and this must be done by Hook or by Crook; but provided the thing be done, no mat∣ter how.

Bum.

But however Citt, we had better do't upon the Square, as far as the Matter will bear it, and make out the Rest by Fibbing.

Citt.

That's a thing of Course Bumkin,* 1.40 to uncover the Naked∣ness of the Government, and rip up the Errours, and Distempers of Church and State. Why we have a Committee for the Registring of Male-Administrations; we have our Spyes up and down from the Bed-Chamber to the Meal-tub: There's not a Tennis-Court, not a Bawdy-House, not an Eating, or Drinking-house about the Town that scapes us; not a Glass, not a Word, not a Frolick, in any Considerable Family but we have it upon Record; and we have those that will make it all good too upon Oath.

Bum.

And this goes a great way, let me tell ye, Citt. for the Peo∣ple never consider that Rulers are Flesh and Blood, as well as Other men: and if any thing goes amiss, they think there's no setting it Right again, without taking the whole Frame to Pieces.

Citt.

True Bumkin, and that's the thing that must do our Work; but then if Truth, and matter of Fact will not hold out, we must have Recourse to Invention. And now I come to my Text. You remember the two Topiques I gave ye, of lessening the Government, and Advancing our selves.

Bum.

Yes, yes, but a Government may be Lessen'd several ways.* 1.41 Lessen'd in Authority, Lessen'd in Power, Lessen'd in Reputati∣on; that is to say, in the Esteem. and Affections of the People, ei∣ther by Hatred, or Contempt.

Citt.

Very well, and so have we our several ways of making

our selves Popular: All which must be done by Emproving Op∣portunities before us, toward these two Ends.

Bum.

But prethee tell me what Advantage can we make of Signs,* 1.42 or how shall a man tell a Fib, without a word speaking.

Citt.

Why dost not thou know (Bumkin,) that the Language of Nature is infinitely more Powerfull, and Significant, then that of Compact? 'Tis impossible to put the force of Looks, Grones, Actions,* 1.43 and Gestures into Words, Is it not a Lye to look as if we pray'd, and yet Curse in our Hearts; Or under Colour of a Chari∣ty, to put a shilling into the Bason, and take half a Crown out? Lord turn the Kings Heart: (says the man above) which draws so sorrowful a Countenance after it, from one end of the Ta∣bernacle to the Other, that you'd swear we were either falling into the 'leventh Persecution, or that the Pope were already on this side High-gate.

Bum.

'Tis a strange thing Citt, the Agreement that we finde in many things, betwixt Reasonable Creatures, and brute Animals, One Grone runs quite thorough the Meeting, just as One Note, sets a whole pack of Beagles a yelling.

Citt.

This way of Juggling, and Dissembling by Signs is cer∣tainly very Artificial, and of Incredible Effect; but a man may better understand, then express it: And Our People are the most dextrous of all men living at that way of Address.

Bum.

But what say you now to the business of Lying, or Fibbing,* 1.44 in words at length? Pray'e take your Heads in Order, and read up∣on them: And let me see some Instances how to apply them to the pur∣poses of drawing the Affections of the People from the Government, to our selves.

Citt.

There is, First, a Lye or (let it be rather) a Figment of Creation, which Imports the raising of Something out of Nothing, and is a Figure not to be employ'd, but with Infinite Caution.

Bum.

Prethee go on Citt, (for my Brain Clarifies strangely up∣on't) and make me understand where I may make use of it, and where not.

Citt.

I may be usefull,* 1.45 where the present Belief of a thing may be of greater Benefit, and Service, then the Future Discove∣ry of it, can be a Detriment: As the Figment of the Late Kings; being Confederate with the Irish Rebels, the Cavaliers cruelty at Branford, &c. Now though these Impostures had no Foundati∣on at all, they serv'd the present turn yet, for the moving of

the City, and the drawing of men together upon that Occasi∣on; and when the Truth came afterwards to Light, the Froge∣ry was only taken notice of as a Cheat, and that was all.

Bum.

Ay, and I have hear'd of the Fobb'd Letters, and the Plague-plaisters, and the Tricks they had in those days, still is One Plot cool'd, for the Bolting of Another. These Devices stood 'um in great stead; and we have seen something on't of Late, in the Rumours of the Kings raising an Army to aw the City, and the Parliament; and the Forty Thousand French upon the Isle of ••urbeck. These Stories let me assure ye Citt, keep the Humour stirring.

Citt.

But what do ye think of the Invention of the Protestant Martyrs Domestique? Where he tells ye of one of his Royal High∣nesses Servants at Edinburgh, that was worse then Malcuss'd, for he had both his Ears cut off; and then of the throwing Stones at the Windows of his Oratory?

Bum.

Why Citt, was this a Lye (as thou calst it) of Creation then?

Citt.

Without the least Colour for't in the World.* 1.46 Now 'tis not the Fiction, but the Imprudence of it, that Vexes me: For as to the Former, it is certain that the Duke was treated both in himself, and in his Train, with the Highest Instances of Welcome and Respect imaginable: And then for the Other, the Scots were so far from discountenancing the Office of the Church, that a great many of the Nobility, and Persons of Quality have taken up the Vse of it in their Own Families. Now for Him to impose this Fiction upon the world, without any pressing Necessity, and to no purpose at all, when he might be sure of a Contradiction by the next Post; This I say was a great slip of a wise man.

Bum.

Come, come, Citt. The good man is not so much to be blam'd neither; for his Intention was to render the Duke Low in the Opinion of the People, and to discredit the Common-Prayer. Pray'e call to minde the account he gave of the famous Motion in the City, for the doubling of their Guards, and then set the One against the Other.

Citt.

No, no, Bumpkin; This is not to reflect upon Him; but only to shew thee how to apply this Figure. There is ano∣ther, and a more Profitable Fiction, in regard that it is hard to be detected,* 1.47 as being grounded upon Thought and Intention; as the Late Kings Designe of setting up Arbitrary Power and Pope∣ry;

his purpose of coming into London one night with his Pa∣pists, and Cavaliers, to burn, kill, and ravish all before him. Now This was an Invention of great Force; For though in my Con∣science his Majesty never intended it, yet the story past for cur∣rent with the Multitude; only by the Vigilance of some active and zealous Patriots it was prevented. These Figments you may apply to the Head of Lessening the Credit of the Govern∣ment.

Bum.

And in some degree, I hope, of advancing our selves; for such a deliverance works Both ways.

Citt.

Oh, greatly, Bumpkin; For as the People were possest One way against the King, for Designing upon their Liberties, Properties, and Religion; so were they as much perswaded on the Other hand, in favour of those that put themselves in the gap, to withstand That Oppression: whereas by the sequel it ap∣pear'd, that the Kings Designe was only to defend the Govern∣ment, and the Others, to Invade it.

Bum.

We have run much of late upon This Vein of Intention, and it has done notably well with us too; for we have shook the very Foundations of the Government with it.

Citt.

O, Bumpkin, thou dost not know the Charm of those Four Syllables,* 1.48 Intention; the Irresistible power and virtue of that little word, AFFECTED: Popishly-Affected, Tyrannically-Affected; This was it that blew up three Kingdoms but the Other day; Faux's Powder under the Parliament-House was nothing to't. We have no Windows into our Breasts, and there's no proving or disproving of a Thought; only to those Goblins, Fears, and Jealousies every thing they look upon appears Double, even to the discovery of things that have no Being.

Bum.

Stay a little: May not a man suppose a Third Contrivance now, as Groundlesse as any of the rest? 'Tis but laying it remote e∣nough, and the thing's Forgotten before ever the Truth can come to be Known.

Citt.

This is very well hinted, Bumpkin, and we have found it a very Commodious Expedient, even in This very Juncture: How many Bruits have been rais'd concerning Leagues, and Intelligences Abroad, Designes, and Intrigues at Home; that for a Moneth or Six weeks it may be, have set the People a mad∣ding from one end o'th Town to the Other; and at last not one syllable True, but all past over as if no such thing had

ever been. Take me aright, Bumpkin; I do not speak This as condemning the Practice, but to set forth the Effect of this way of Fibbing.

Bum.

That's understood Citt;* 1.49 for'tis not our part to Examine the Means, why they be Good, or Bad; but to pursue the Reward, and bring That about, by any means whatever. But what do ye say now to the Lye of Composition, as you call it?

Citt.

It is a Figment, Citt. that's made up of Truth,* 1.50 and Falshood: but so enterwoven with Colours, and Disguises, that 'tis hard to say which is which.

Bum.

As if ye should put Rats-bane into a mess of Porridge: 'tis Porridge still, though it be Poyson.

Citt.

Very well Alluded Bumkin, and the Truth, or the Por∣ridg, is only (as the Doctors call it) the Vehicle to convey the Poyson. The Art, and Mistery of this Fib lies in gaining credit to the Fiction, by acknowledging those Notorious Truths that cannot be Conceal'd.

Bum.

Ay ay man, for that's but telling what every body knows. As for the purpose. The Presbyterians took up Arms 'tis true, but alas! They never meant any hurt to his Majesty: and yet they took his Royal Authority to themselves, and seiz'd his Shipping, his Forts, and his Revenue.

Citt.

Ay but for that Bumkin, they say learnedly that the King was in the Two Houses, when Charles Stuart was in the Head of an Army.

Bum.

But they say again, that they never meant any hurt to his Person neither; and yet they Revil'd him, and Shot at him.

Citt.

The Arch-Bishop of St. Andrews was Kill'd, but then he was an Ill, Harsh Man, they say: 'twas done in Revenge, and no Act of the Kirk-Party: We were mightily derided about the Scotch Rising. At first, there was no more in't, then a Tu∣multuary Rabble that were got together to deliver themselves from an Illegal Oppression: And this past for current, till it was found to be a form'd Rebellion, and that the Covenant was the Foundation of it.

Bum.

The Doctrine's this. Not to Own any thing more then needs must, and to palliate what's amiss the best we can. And so proceed, I pray'e to the point of Substraction.

Citt.

The Rule of Swearing, Bumkin, that is to say,* 1.51 the Truth, the whole Truth, and nothing but the Truth, does not hold in Ly∣ing;

so that in this Case of Substraction, we tell the Truth, but not the whole Truth.

Bum.

Our Common Intelligences are singularly good at this Fi∣gure: for they tell ye just as much of the Story as serves their turn, and no more.

Citt.

They do so. Oh they are very well instructed.* 1.52 As in the Story of the Officer that broke a fellows head, as they were go∣ing to Brantford to chuse Parliament Men: He tells ye of the Head broken, but not a word of the Provocation; as the disor∣dering of his men in their March, and their bauling out, no Courtiers, no Pensioners, no Whitehallmen.

Bum.

That's a ••lagty way though Citt, and so for Satterth wait, about firing De la Noys House! He had the clearest proofs in the World of his Innocence; the Acquittal of the Court, and the Wench put to Death that accused him. But Honest Benjamin waves that Point, and tells ye only that ever since the Maids Condemnation she continues firm, in what she first asserted, as to her being hir'd to Commit that horrid Fact.

Citt.

These things are of Infinite use Bumkin, and if ye mark it, there passes not a week without scandalous Reflexions upon some of the Guards, to make the people sick of 'um. And 'tis very good Policy this; for if they were out the way, our bu∣siness were done.

Bum.

These Papers are the true Fireballs,* 1.53 Forty times beyond the Compositions of Powder, and Aquavitae.

Citt.

They are so Bumkin. There's no need of Poking them in∣to Ha••-Lofts with Long Poles; Vntiling of Houses, Breaking of Windows, Creeping into Cellars, &c. 'Tis but one Tugg at the Press, here in London, and in Eight and Forty hours▪ ye shall see the whole Kingdom in a Flame. And let me tell ye, this Fibb of Substraction does a great deal towards it.

Bum.

And so it does in the Report these Pamphlets give ye upon all Tryalls, where a Popish Cur has the good luck to come off. Don't ye see how they whip the Bench, and the Jury about the Pig-Market? Sir Thomas Gascoin was return'd Not Guilty: but it was by a Jury of his Countrymen. And so ye are told the Charge, with a ve∣ry slender or no Account at all of the Defence.

Citt.

Why this is by the Virtue of Substraction: it is a kind of a Negative Lye, the Concealing any Substantial part of the Truth. They talk as if there were a Designe afoot for the Suppressing

of these Intelligences: and by my Soul, I believe it would be the Vndoing of the Cause.

Bum.

Why they Govern the Land man,* 1.54 Do they not make and Dissolve what Alliances they please. Arraign Judges; Condemn Innocents? Put out, and put In, what Privy Counsellors they think fit? Place and Displace Secretaries of State? Publish the Priva∣cies of the Cabinet? And in all Cases, tell the People what they are to trust to?

Citt.

Right, and all this passes for Gospel in the Country, though the devil a word on't that's known at White-Hall. But then they have the Cruellest way of Nicking a man when they have a minde to't. Such a one has got such or such a Place at Court, though so and so: and to'ther must be Committed Close Prisoner, though the Lords in the Tower may have People come to them, and play at Nine-Pins.

Bum.

Ay, And then let the Bravest things Imaginable be done by One man,* 1.55 either ye have the bare Abstract in General, of such a thing done, or nothing at all: But if Another man does but let a Fart upon a Fit of the Belly-ake, there's a Thanksgiving presently all o∣ver England and Wales, proclaim'd for his Recovery.

Cit.

These are Great helps Bumkin, that we can Raise and Depress whom we please. Beside that the Multitude from these Liberties draw this Conclusion, either they would Contradict these things, if they could; Or Hinder them if they Durst. We'el go now to the Figment of Addition.

Bum.

As Substraction is the Truth, but not the Whole Truth, so Addition, I presume, is somewhat more then the Truth: But pray'e let me distinguish betwixt Composition, and Addition.

Citt.

The Former,* 1.56 is the Blending and Confounding of the Truth, with Fictitious Matter: The other is the piecing out of a Truth, with a Falshood, when the bare Truth would not do the Work. As thus, It is true, that the Army rays'd for some Attempt upon the Netherlands, in 1673. was drawn up on Black-Heath; But all the rest of the Story, for the Advance of the French Government, the Promoting of the Irish Religion, and the threatning of a Storm to fall upon London, is an Additional Figment. It is True, that there were Fireworks found in the Savoy, but the Addition is false of being design'd according to the Story.

Bum.

What's the difference now betwixt Addition, and Ampli∣fication.

Citt.

Addition is a Suppliment of new Fact:* 1.57 Amplification is on∣ly an Aggravation of the Matter in Question. Or in short, the set∣ting a flourish or a gloss upon the business. And it holds as well the making of our Adversaries Odious, as our selves Considerable.

Bum.

I have many times observed that Gods Judgments, and Blessings have been still either Imputed to the Wickedness of the E∣piscopal Party, or ascribed to the Sanctity of the Non-Conformists.

Citt.

But if you will see a Master-piece. Reade the Preamble to the Relation of the Kings Army at Branford. And take this with you before hand, that there was no cruelty exercised at all, be∣yond the common effects of Hot blood upon so Obstinate a dispute.

Vnnatural,* 1.58 Inhumane, and strange Cruelties, send forth a Voice, and the Voice which they send forth is so loud, that it awakes even se∣cure and sleepy Mankind, and stirs up their Bowels to an enflamed and united Indignation. The divided pieces of a Woman abused to death needed not the Eloquence or Voice of an Orator; they spake themselves, and they spake so loud, that they were heard by a whole Nation, and drew forth this Answer, there was no such deed done nor seen from the day that the Children of Israel came out of Aegypt. Neither did they fetch only an Answer of Words, but of Deeds: All the Men of Israel gather'd together as One Man; against the Au∣thours and Abettors of that abominable wickedness.

It is a Lamentation, and to be taken up for a Lamentation, that in England such horrid Acts should be done, that yield forth this high cry∣ing & affrighting Voice—No such thing hath been done since England came out of the Aegypt of Rome, &c. Exact Collections, Pag. 758.

Bum.

Why this Exclamation was as much as the whole Cause was worth. Ah,* 1.59 Citt, if we were no better at Oaths and Fibbs, then we are at Arguments, we should e'en bring our Hoggs to a fair Market.

Citt.

Alack for thee Bumkin, thou dost not know an Argu∣ment when thou seest it. Why this knack of Swearing and Lying is our way of Arguing; and whoever carries the Cause,* 1.60 (let him carry it right or wrong) is the best Disputant. Prethee tell me; what would st thou think of any man that should go to convert the Chineses in Welch, or talk Hebrew to a Laplander? 'Tis the same thing man, to talk Reason to the Rabble. 'Tis lit∣tle less then Popery ye Fool; 'tis speaking in an unknown Tongue; what were all your Cavalier-Doctors, and Statesmen the better

for their Syllogismas, their Politiques, and their Cases of Consci∣ence; when the very Noyse of TYRANNY, and POPERY beat'um all out of the Field?

Bum.

Nay, I must confesse, Citt; that Our Case is to be deci∣ded by the Multitude; and That way must needs succeed best, that is most accomodate to the Humour and Capacity of the Umpires of the Controversy. But yet I could wish that thou had'st born up a little t'o∣ther day, to Trueman, upon the Points of Religion and Government.

Citt.

Why you must know, Bumpkin, that there are Two ways of Reply upon Disputes of That Quality; the One is by Reason,* 1.61 (which sounds the same thing with the Apostles Vain Phylosophy) and the Other is by Clamour: The Former is for your Speculators, or Pedants; and the Other is for men of Zeal, and Businesse. But there's One has mawl'd him since, to some purpose i'faith, I be∣lieve hee'l have little Joy of his Disputations.

Bum.

Oh,* 1.62 I have heard of two or three that have had a Fling at him. There's One of 'um they say that's a Devilish Witty Little Fel∣low, but I cann't for my Blood call his Name to mind; but I think't was Pugg; or thereabouts.

Citt.

By my Troth like enough; for one was telling me to'ther day, that the Drill in Bartlemew-Fair, with a Leaguer-Pipe in's mouth, was the very Picture of him. But didst not thou see Romes Hunting-match?

Bum.

Yes, yes; 'tis a Broad-side with a Wooden Cutt;* 1.63 They have put him in the Head there of the Popes Beagles, with a Pen in One Pot, and a Fire-ball in the Other. They call the whole Pack the Antichristian Crew: The Fellow has a woundy Head-piece that Contriv'd it.

Citt.

Ay but the t'other girds him Confoundedly; and then there's a Letter worse then That too. But this is all by way of Answer: if thou could'st but Recite his Positions now, you and I might bang it out, had to fist, in Mood, and Figure (as they say.)

Bum.

Nay let mee alone for a Reciter, if That will do't. The Crown of England is allow'd on all hands to be Imperiall; and That I lay down for my First Position.

Citt.

Why then y'are a Crack-fart, and a Pensioner. Now go on,* 1.64 without any Demur.

Bum.

The King is Vnaccountable, and not One of the Three Estates, as Lame Giles would have him.

Citt.

Y'are a Sawce-box, and a Yorkist,

Bum.

I will maintain that England is not a Mixt, but only a Qualifi'd Monarchy.

Citt.

Y'are an Idle Fellow, Sirrah; and I have seen ye at Masse at the Protestant Coffee-house.

Bum.

I say again, that there is but the Governing, and the Gover∣ned; and that They are no longer the Governed,* 1.65 that Govern, nor the Governing that are Governed. And in Little, That Subjection and Dominion are Inconsistent, in One and the same time, and subject.

Citt.

Y'are an Idle, Impudent Fellow; and I'le be hang'd if I don't catch ye in the Sham-Plot. What do ye think of This now? And tell me without Complement, if I have not run this Puppy up to the Wall.

Bum.

I cannot for my Life Citt, understand this way of Answer∣ing yet.

Citt.

Why prethee Bumkin, calling of Names, is speaking to the People in a Language that they do both Vnderstand, and Believe.

Bum.

Oh, there's no question to be made on't, a man had better be suspected for a Spirit, then for a Papist: Nay if it were but Po∣pishly-Affected, it would go hard with him. But what will ye say Citt, if I tell ye of a man that saw the devillish Letter ye spoke of?

Citt.

I have heard somewhat on't my self. But prethee let's confer Notes upon't. Is there not something in't, that he would have been Fribling with a Printers Wife once;* 1.66 and that he pro∣mis'd to bring off her Husband if she'd have done him the good Office? I had it from Barefoot, and yo•• same Bacon-of-Govern∣ment-man, what a devill do ye call him? the Case-Putter at the Swan in Fish-street; he that swell'd so at the name of the Duke of Yorke; Pox on't, that I should forget him now; Did ye never hear of the Thumb?* 1.67 (as Aristippus Says.)

Bum.

Why Faith Citt, I have heard as wuch: But I have been told too by one of the Journey-men, that she was always a good Game∣some Wench, and that the Gentleman (being well bred) might perhaps offer her the Civility to Oblige her.

Citt.

I can say nothing to her Gamesomeness; but she was no Blab,* 1.68 I can assure ye; For though she was in Court, when her Husband was Fin'd and Sentenc'd Upon That Gentlemans Prosecu∣tion, she made no words on't.

Bum.

That's well observ'd, Citt; For she should have told the Bench me-thinks; that if she would have done so and so, ••t'had never come to This.

Citt.

Ay but Yonder's a Broken Thrid-merchant Bumpkin,* 1.69 (and he had it from his own Brother) told a friend of mine, that Truman (when Licensing was in fashion) would never License any thing against the Papists; and that he took mony for Licensing; and layd a Tax upon his Majestyes Liege-People, (as Pugg the No∣tarius has it) without the Consent of their Representatives in Par∣liament.

Bum.

These are bloody things, Citt, and they resolve to scour him as bright as Silver, before they have done with him.

Citt.

Nay, if we don't make him either a Papist, or Popishly-Af∣fected I'le dye for't: yes, or any man living, that has either a good Estate, good Furniture in's house, Mony in his Pocket, or Brains in his Head.

Bum.

Well, but to my knowledg, Citt, Truman does not value him∣self upon any of these Qualifications. But prethee let's leave this Noddy a little, and talk of something else, what dost think was the reason that our Parliaments have been put off so of Late?

Citt.

The very Question that I put t'other day my self;* 1.70 and 'twas answer'd Thus. That the Nation could not be Happy, but in the Preservation of the Goverement, as it is establisht by Law: for the tearing of the Law to pieces, must needs distract the People, when they have no Rule to walk by: That a great many worthy Persons were disappoynted in the Elections, by being misrepresented to the People: That by these Practices, diverse persons were Obtruded upon the Nation, of remarkable Disaffections both to Church, and State: And that therefore, I suppose, they might be put off, to the end that some Other Distempers might be composed, before their Meeting.

Bum.

Well! and what Return did'st thou make him?

Citt.

I told him, he Smelt of the Court; and that he had a Pope in's belly;* 1.71 and so I would have no more to do with him.

Bum.

These People are grown Strangely bold of Late. But Perseve∣rance is a Grace, Citt, that will carry us on, thorough Thick and Thin.

Citt.

Now thou talkst of a Grace, Bumpkin;* 1.72 there is not any Acti∣on, or Profession, in Human Life, without its peculiar Graces. There are the Graces of the Tubb, and of the Pulpit; the Quack, and the Doctor; Nay, the Academy, and the Padd. as the Scotch-man sayd of Du Vall, that was Truss'd up for the High-way. By my Saule (Sir,

Says he) It would have done your Heart good to have seen That Gentleman upon Action. One man becomes the Bench; Another the Stage: And ye shall see One man Robb a Church with a better Grace than Ano∣ther Erects an Hospital.

Bum.

And then we call a Well-affected Brother, a Babe of Grace.

Citt.

That's somewhat near the matter, Bumpkin; for the Grace that we have to do withall, is only a certain Gift of Impulse that dis∣poses a man to the Exercise of his Trade, and Calling. As for Exam∣ple; what's a Pick-pocket the better for his Skill in Diving, if he has not the Grace to keep his hands in Ure? But now for thy Perseverance thorough Thick and Thin; there's more in That, perhaps, then thou art aware of; for there's a difference betwixt Staring, and Stark mad.

Bum.

I prethee be clear Citt, that we may understand one ano∣ther.

Citt.

The Dutch have a very good Proverb, Heaven helps the strongest,* 1.73 (they say) So long as Providence is on Our fide Bum∣kin, all's Well; but I'm not for Running my head against Stone Walls.

Bum.

But how far must we go then Citt, and whither Next?

Citt.

Take me for thy Guide Bumkin, and my Life for thine thou shalt never Miscarry. The game we have to play is a kinde of Trick-Track: (but what do I talk of Trick Track to a Bumkin) the great Nicety is to know when to go Off.

Bum.

So that in some Cases I finde we may go off: But why must I swear so damnably against Flinching then?

Citt.

Because we are bound in Honour Bumkin, not to Flinch. But if the Cause it self Flinches, who can help it?

Bum.

What do ye think then of the Five Scottish Martyrs, who main∣tain'd it to the Death that the Killing of the Arch-Bishop was no Mur∣ther; and the Rising, no Rebellion. And yet (as I take it) Their Cause had Flinch'd to some tune, when the whole Party was either Cut off, Routed or taken Prisoners.

Citt.

As a friend, Bumkin, the world is made up of Fools, and Knaves, Some are to Act, and Others to Contrive; the Fools are to keep up the Claim, and the Knaves, when time serves are to take Possession.

Bum.

Well, but what must become of Us in the Interim then?

Citt.

The Interim, (as thou calst it) is a kind of Inter-regnum;* 1.74 wherein we are Absolv'd (as it were) by a certain Extraordinary Dispensation from all Bonds, Civil, and Moral, till we can get Upper∣most again.

Bum.

So that here are Two Providences, One upon the Heel of the Other. The One in turning all our Oaths, and Promises, in The In∣terval, into Nullities; And the Other is an allowance of us to make the best of the First Opportunity.

Citt.

That's well Collected: For all Oaths, and Promises are Void, when the thing promised ceases to be in our Own Power: And an Oath that was made in the Flesh, may be broken in the Spirit.

Bum.

Deliver me! Here's Truman just upon us. If he talks again stand to him Citt.

Citt.

The Rogue has us in's Eye; and there's no slipping into the Wood; but let me alone with him.

Enter TRUMAN.

Tru.

Well met Gentlemen. What? you'r for a Mornings Draught at Hamstead (I suppose). I'le e'en back again and keep ye Company.

Citt.

If you please Sir, 'tis a fine Walk.

Tru.

So, and how go Squares since the crash we had yonder at —What do ye call the place?

Citt.

Oh,* 1.75 very well, there's a Book come out that proves a man may talk of Religion, and Government as learnedly over a Dish of Coffee, as over a ••ot of Ale.—There's a Bobb Bumkin, by the way of Tom and Dick—(aside.)

Tru.

Look ye, Here's the Book. I ha' just read it over.

Bum.

Pray let me see't a little.—Ay,* 1.76 here 'tis: I wonder in my heart what the man means by putting Strange, and Strangely; and Strange and Stranger again, in the 5th and 6th Pages here, in the great Black English Letter, so different from the rest of the Book.

Tru.

Nothing in the world but a high-flight of Wit; as if a man that is in Trouble, should cry, O this villanous, rascally Care! Or tell a Glavering Cur that Fawns upon ye to your Face, and bawls at ye behinde your Back, Oh! y'are Curtis, Sir.

Bum.

Well, but I'm with you once again. What do ye. think of your University-Dull-man there, Pag. 12. with his, O Lord, make these Young Willows to grow up to be Old Oaks, that they may become Timber, fit to Wansoote thy New Jerusalem.

Tru.

Upon my Credit, this Dulman was a Presbyterian (For your Divines have, here and there, an Vniversity-man among them! And it was another of the Same stamp, that told God Almighty in his Prayer; Lord; if thou didst but know what our Friends Suffer now in Ireland, &c.

Citt.

Pray'e let me have a word now. How will ye justify the cal∣ling to mind, relating, and Printing, (notwithstanding the Acts of Obli∣vion) all the Evils of our Late Rebellion? as we finde it charg'd. Pag. 22.

Tru.

Nay, rather; Citt, how will You acquit your selves, either to God, or Man, for doing the same things over again; if it be so heinous for Other people to Remember them? As if a Pardon for One Rebellion, were an Authority for Another.

Citt.

Pray'e let me read This Passage to ye Here,* 1.77 Pag. 28. He that is not against us, is with us. And I never heard he (speaking of L'Estrange) ever wrote against Catholiques; except it were a Prote∣stant Catholique; (and that (he says) is a Soloecism.) But he has pep∣per'd the Presbyterians. A Protestant (he says) is a Lutheran; and a Catholique the Characteristicall Note of a Christian; And it seems, he would have the Church of England stick up her bristles, and dis∣own all Fellowship with Protestants abroad, and knock out all Non-con∣formists brains at Home; as the only way to prevent Popery: What do ye think on't?

Tru.

Why I'le tell ye Citt; you never writ against Incest; are ye for it therefore? L'Estrange never writ against the Alcoran; is he therefore a Mahumetan? Neither do I find any thing you have Cited of him, but what is True, and Warrantable. You say he has pepper'd the Presbyterians; and the world knows they have need of Seasoning. But why the Bristles of the Church of England? For the Beasts, ye know, are all in the Purlews. Nor does he speak One word of divi∣ding from Protestants abroad; Only upon Dr. Oate's Testimony, that

the Priests lye lurking among the Non-Conformists, he very Honestly advises the Ferretting of the Conventicles: And This your Authour calls forsooth, The beating out the brains of the Non-conformists.

Blesse me Gentlemen! is This the Pillar of your Profession?* 1.78 the Mouth, and Advocate of your Cause? Why there's not one grain of Common Sense, Honesty, or Good Manners in't; Not a Ragg that would not bring a Scandall upon a Dust-Cart.

Citt.

You may value't as you please;* 1.79 But he has done as much in his Narratives for the Protestant Religion, it may be, as any man, and with as good applause too, though they pass in other peoples Names.

Bum.

'Tis an admirable Piece, That of his about the Fires, and several Other things too, really that would make a mans heart ake.

Tru.

If thou mean'st by way of Compunction, Bumpkin, I cann't I∣magine how One man can repent of Another mans Sins. But I suppose thou Speak'st of Earth-quakes, and Signs in the Ayr; which are e∣nough to make a mans heart Ake indeed.

Citt.

And then for his Style, Truman,* 1.80 He has a Copia Verborum, for all Sorts and Sizes, of Matters, and Men; as Rogue, Rascall, Knave, Villain, Traytor, Trash, Trumpery, Trinkets, and so forth, till this time Twelvemoneth. I'le undertake he shall Pelt ye a Ca∣thedral-man Four and Twenty Hours by Shrewsbury Clock, and not call him Twice by the same Name. And then on the Other side, If he has the hap (in the heat of his Carier) to stumble upon a poor Dissenting Brother, he licks his lips upon't, and pours forth nothing but Milk and Hony: Oh the Precious Ones, The Chosen of the Lord, and more Heavenly Epithetes then would lie betwixt This and High-gate.

Tru.

But has he any Languages too?

Citt.

If you had him but one half-hour upon the Talking-Pin, you'd swear that he had swallow'd Calepines Dictionary whole, and spew'd it up again; And such a Memory—

Tru.

These are wonderful Faculties Gentlemen, to qualifie a man to be the Advocate of a Party.

Citt.

But what if the Gentleman were as despicable as you make him? what's That to our Profession?

Tru.

Oh very much; for if the be Your Representative, You Speak in Him; and he does but Blunder, Raile, Falsify, and Cobble, in your Name, and by Your Commission: If it be otherwise disown him. But what is your Profession, First?

Citt.

We do professe our selves to be Loyall Subjects to his Majesty in his Just Authority; and True Protestants, according to the pat∣tern and Practice of the best Reformed Churches.

Tru.

That is to say, in Plain English, you are Covenanteers.

Citt.

Well, but I hope a man may be both a Good Subject, and a Good Christian; and yet a Covenanter.

Tru.

Can he be a Good Christian that reviles the Mother of our Blessed Saviour,* 1.81 that Stabs the Babe in her Arms, in Effigy: that Decryes the Lords Prayer, as Apocryphal, that Robs Caesar of his Due, and Consecrates his Profession, with Violence, and Blood? Or can He be a Good Subject, that gives Laws to his Sovereign; Nay that takes away his Crown, and his Life, and Tramples upon his Fellows as his Slaves?

Citt.

Why what's all this to the Covenant?

Tru.

Yes, by That Covenant, all this was done: And by That Convenant, Vnrenounced, All this must be done again, whenever in your it, or that Power. Nay you are Covenant-Breakers in the Not doing of it; if you were Covenant-keepers in the doing on't.

Citt.

Well; but the business of the Covenant was only to de∣liver the King out of the Hands of the Papists, to demolish all Monuments of Superstition and Idolatry, and to settle a Thorow Re∣formation. All the mischief fell in by the By.

Tru.

Very good; and you took him out of the hands of Pa∣pists, to deliver him into the hands of the Executioner. Did ye not? Truly a high Obligation. And then for your zeal against Idolatry, a Rich Crucifix, that was an Idol in a Papists hand, be∣came a Moveable in yours; for commonly what ye Took, ye sold: and your Thorow-Reformation ended in a Sacrilegious Rapine and Confusion. And so you're wellcome to your Journeys End.

The End.

Notes

• * 1.1

  Swearing and Lying Go∣verns the Word.
• * 1.2

  Swear seldom, but to Pur∣pose.
• * 1.3

  Religious Swearing, and Profane.
• * 1.4

  Consciences harden by de∣grees.
• * 1.5

  The Tye of an Oath.
• * 1.6

  The Use and danger of Oaths.
• * 1.7

  The Project and Mi••••ery of thee Cove∣nant.
• * 1.8

  The Cove∣nant had all the following Oaths in the Belly of it.
• * 1.9

  The Good Old Cause cools of late.
• * 1.10

  The Fana∣ticks gain'd little ground till of late.
• * 1.11

  No End of Papists.
• * 1.12

  How to know a Papist.
• * 1.13

  How far the Faction Acted Pru∣dently,
• * 1.14

  The over∣sight of the Fanaticks.
• * 1.15

  Poachers have de∣stroy'd the Game.
• * 1.16

  Much Blood turns Rage into Pitty.
• * 1.17

  Rash Enfor∣mers scanda∣life better Evidence
• * 1.18

  More hasle then speed.
• * 1.19

  Rules of Po∣licy vary with the matters they are to work upon.
• * 1.20

  Practises in Elections.
• * 1.21

  The Wisdom of the Long Parliament.
• * 1.22

  The Compo∣sition of a Popular Oath.
• * 1.23

  Change of ac∣cidents pro∣duce change of Resoluti∣ons.
• * 1.24

  Natural Fa∣culties in swearing.
• * 1.25

  A Casuistical Oath.
• * 1.26

  Cases of Con∣science.
• * 1.27

  The Saints shew a Text for all they do.
• * 1.28

  A Nice Point.
• * 1.29

  Swearing with a Salvo.
• * 1.30

  Vulgar shifts.
• * 1.31

  Against swear∣ing without Profit.
• * 1.32

  Of Confe∣rence and In∣vention in swearing.
• * 1.33

  The advan∣tage an old Covenanter has of a No∣vice.
• * 1.34

  True & false only matter of opinion.
• * 1.35

  Lyes Tacit and Expresse.
• * 1.36

  A Thorough Reformation.
• * 1.37

  A Partial and a Thorough Reformation.
• * 1.38

  The End of this Reforma∣tion.
• * 1.39

  The Refor∣mers Two Topiques.
• * 1.40

  Their Act and diligence.
• * 1.41

  Several ways of lessening Authority.
• * 1.42

  The language of Nature above that of Comp••ct.
• * 1.43

  A Lie with∣out a word speaking.
• * 1.44

  Of Fibbing in words at length.
• * 1.45

  A Ly, or Fig∣ment of Cre∣ation.
• * 1.46

  The Prote∣stant Dome∣stiques Mi∣stake.
• * 1.47

  Intentions not liable to proof.
• * 1.48

  The Force of the word Af∣fected.
• * 1.49

  No matter by what means, so we gain the End.
• * 1.50

  Composition.
• * 1.51

  A Lye of Sub∣straction.
• * 1.52

  The artificial Improvement of Substra∣ction.
• * 1.53

  Papers the true Fireballs.
• * 1.54

  Pamphlets governs the Land.
• * 1.55

  Kissing goes by favour.
• * 1.56

  The Figment of Addition.
• * 1.57

  Amplification.
• * 1.58

  A wonderfull aggravation.
• * 1.59

  Better at Oaths and Fibbs then Arguments.
• * 1.60

  Swearing and Lying the best Arguments.
• * 1.61

  Two ways of Reply, Reason and Clamour.
• * 1.62

  Little Pugg's a witty fellow.
• * 1.63

  Another shrewd Head-piece.
• * 1.64

  Pugg's Lo∣gique.
• * 1.65

  Of Subjection & Dominion.
• * 1.66

  A Secret.
• * 1.67

  Some body help me out.
• * 1.68

  The Lady. no blabb.
• * 1.69

  Have a care of the Thrid-Merchant▪
• * 1.70

  Matters of State.
• * 1.71

  The old To∣pique,
• * 1.72

  Several sorts of graces.
• * 1.73

  Of Perseve∣rance.
• * 1.74

  Absolution from Oaths and Promises.
• * 1.75

  Tom and Dick
• * 1.76

  A High-flight of Wit.
• * 1.77

  A Learned Piece.
• * 1.78

  Pugg the mouth of th•• Cause.
• * 1.79

  Puggs Narra¦tives.
• * 1.80

  Puggs Faculties.
• * 1.81

  ••he Cove∣••anting Chri∣••••ian and Sub∣••••ct.