this would be strange and seem Monstrous, if their Sentiments were not
equal, and their Compassion mutual: But it would truly exceed all that
is strange and exorbitant, if in the Compound, which is made of Wife and
Husband, whilst that part which Governs is in Mourning and Affliction,
the other which is subject should be jocund, and play the Wanton, and
would leave off nothing of her Ornaments or Pleasures: If the Body of
a Wounded and bleeding Head were delightfully adorned, covered over
with Perfumes, and loadon with Flowers: If a Wife would make one at
all Meetings of Pleasure, and take her share in all Divertisements, whilst
her Husband suffers the rack of the Sciatica, and the torture of the Stone.
One may also say, the better to establish this Duty, and perswade it more
efficaciously, that amongst all kinds of Friendships, there is not any so
straight, not better linked together then that of Marriage. It is not exteri∣our
and superficial, like other Amities: Nor is it upheld like those by civil
Tyes, which are weak, and break asunder if never so little touched. It is
an Union of the whole Soul and Body; the Tyes thereof are firm and solid.
There is Nature and Grace in it: The whole Person is fastned therewith;
and Time, which wears out Brass and Steel, cannot dissolve them. Now
Friendship, as every one knows, is a Community of Sentiments, and Wills,
of Joyes and Afflictions, of good and evil Fortunes. We are further adver∣tised
by the Wife, that blessings cannot 〈◊〉〈◊〉 there but after evils: And that
good Fortune ought not to have any place there, but as succeeding to the
bad. Whereupon we may remember the words of Seneca, who saith, that
such Persons understand not Friendship, as seek in a Friend a merry and
Table Companion, a Solicitor of 〈◊〉〈◊〉▪ an Agent of favour, a Mediator
of Fortune: That we must seek out a Person with whom we may cheer∣fully
enter into Prison, whose Bondage and Chains we bear; A man in
whose company we suffer Shipwrack without exclaiming against the Pla∣nets,
or complaining of the Tempest; A man for whom we endure the
Wrack without pain, for whom we die smiling and with Joy. And if
common Friendship, which is free and superficial, and supported only by
Nature, hath so painful Duties, and so heavy and hazardous burthens, what
must be the Duties and Burthens of the Friendship of Marriage, which is
so interiour and necessary, which hath the assistance of God, and the Ver∣tue
of the Sacrament; which is sustained by Nature, and fortified by Grace?
Can it be either Interessed or Timerous, with any Decency? can it hand∣somly
express a niceness can it apprehend sorrow and death? can it avoid
bad Fortune?
I might also affirm, that this Duty is reckoned amongst the comely qua∣lities
of a Wife, and the honour of a Family; and that no baser perspective
can be seen in a house, then a sick and afflicted Husband, and a gossiping
and tricked up Wife. This defect wounds generally all eyes: and there are
no Pictures in Italy, not Forreign Landschaps: there are no Ancient or Mo∣dern
Figures can rectifie it. Honor and decency is not only concerned
therein, but even contentment and satisfaction. And as hands touch ten∣derly
a sick and wounded head, and as it is a torment to them if they be