Comedies and tragedies written by Thomas Killigrew ...
Killigrew, Thomas, 1612-1683.

ACT. IV. SCEN. IV.

Enter Parson, Captain, Wild, Wanton, Careless and Jolly.
Pars.

I Am reconcil'd; and will no longer be an uncharitable Church-man; I think this sack is a cooler.

Capt.

What? do's it make you to see your errour?

Pars.

Yes, and consider my man of war; nor will I again dispute his Letters of Mart, nor call them Passes for Pyrates; I am free.

Capt.

And welcome, any thing but anger is sufferable, and all is jest when you laugh; and I will hug thee for abusing me with thy eyes in their scabbards; but when you rail with drawn eyes, red and naked, threatning a Levites second revenge to all that touches your Concubine, then I betake me to a dark-lanthorn, and a Con∣stables-staff, and by help of these Fathers whom I cite I prove my Text, women that are kind ought to be free.

Pars.

But Captain, is it not lawful for us Shepherds to reclaim them?

Capt.

A meer mistake; for sin like the Sea may be turned out, but will ne're grow less; and though you should drain this Mistress Doll, yet the Whore will find a place, and perhaps overflow some Maid, till then honest; and so you prove the author of a new sin, and the defiler of a pure Temple; therefore I say, while you live, let the Whore alone till she wears out; nor is it safe to vamp them, as you shall find, read Ball the first and the second.

Wild.

No more discourse. Strike up Fidlers.

Capt.

See, who's that knocks?

A Country-dance. When they are merry, singing Catches and drinking healths, the Wid. Mrs. Pleas. and the two Lovers knock at the door.
Serv.

Sir, 'tis Mistress Pleasant, and the two Gentlemen that din'd there to day.

Wild.

My Aunt, and Mistress Pleasant.

Joll.

What a pox makes them abroad at this time of night?

Capt.

It may be, they have been a wenching.

Serv.

Sir, they were upon alighting out of the Coach when I came up.

Wild.

Quickly, Mrs. Wanton, you and your husband to bed, there's the Key; Mr. Parson, you know the way to the old Cham∣ber, and to it quickly, all is friends now.

Pars.

Sweet heart, we'l steal away.

Want.

The Devil on them, they have spoyld our mirth.

[Exit Parson.
Page  130
Wild.

Jack, get you and your company down the back-way in∣to the Kitchin, and stay there till we see what this Visit means.

[Exeunt Fidlers.
Capt.

Means! What should it mean? it is nothing but the mis∣chievous Nature all honest Women are endu'd with, and natu∣rally given to spoyl sport: I wonder what Fart blew them hither to night.

Wild.

Nay, have a little patience, Captain; you and Mr. Jolly must sit quietly a while within, till we know the cause.

Capt.

It is but deferring our mirth for an hour, or so. Servant. Sir, here's my Lady.

Wild.

Quickly remove those things there: Captain, step in there.—

[Enter Widow, Pleasant, Sad and Constant.
Wid.

Nephew, do you not wonder to see me here, at this time of night?

Wild.

I know it is not ordinary, therefore I believe 'tis some de∣signe: what is it, Mrs. Pleasant? Shall I make one?

Pleasant.

As I live, Sir, pure necessity; neither mirth nor kind∣ness hath begot this Visit.

Carless.

What, is your Coach broke?

Widow.

Faith, Nephew, the truth is, the Sickness is in my house, and my Coach-man dy'd since Dinner.

Wild.

The Sickness?

Pleasant.

I, as I live, we have been walking since the Play; and when we came home we found the Watch at the door, and the house shut up.

Sadd.

And a Constable gone in search of all those that dined there to day, with order to furnish us lodgings in the Pest-house.

Wid.

Are you not afraid to receive us?

Wild.

As I live, the accident troubles me; and I am sorry such a misfortune should beget me this favour; and I could wish my self free from the honour, if the cause were removed too.

Pleas.

As I live, Mr. Wild, I must have been forc'd to have lain with my servant to night, if you had not received me.

Wild.

If I thought so, I would carry you out in my arms, I am so much Mr. Constant's friend.

Pleas.

But are you more his friend then mine, Mr. Wild?

Wild.

No, but I presume by this he has gain'd so much interest as he would not be very displeasing to you.

Const.

Oh! your humble servant, Sir.

Pleas.

If I had had a mind to that lodging, I had ne're come hi∣ther; for when I have a mind to it, I'll marry without dispute; for I fear no body so much as a husband; and when I can conquer that doubt, I'll marry at a minutes warning.

Wid.

No dispute now, can you furnish us with a couple of Beds?

Wild.

Yes, yes.

Wid.

And have you er'e a woman in the house?

Wild.

My Sisters Maid is here.

Carel.

Madam, if you resolve to do us this honour, you shall find clean linen, and your Beds quickly ready.

Page  131
Wid.

But where will my Nephew and you, Sir, lie to night?

Carel.

Oh, Madam, we have acquaintance enough in the Town.

Wid.

Well, Sir, we'l accept this courtesie; and when you come into Suffolk you shall command my house.

Wild.

Prithee call Bess, and bid her bring sheets to make the Bed; I'll go and fetch in a Pallet, 'tis as good a Bed as the other, and if you will stay the removing, we'l set up a Bed-stead.

Pleas.

No, a Pallet, pray; but what shall we do for night cloathes, Aunt?

Wild.

Why, what are those you bought my Sisters?

Wid.

Is not that Linen gone yet?

Carel.

No faith, Madam, his man forgot it, till the Carriers were gone last week.

Wild.

Will that serve?

Pleas.

Yes, yes, pray do us the favour to let us have it, 'tis but washing of't again.

Wild.

Nay, if it will serve, discourse no more; I'll fetch the bundle; and prithee fetch the Combs and Looking glasses I bought the other day; for other necessaries that want a name the wench shall furnish you with.

Wid.

Nay, but where is she, Nephew?

Wild.

I'll call her, if she be not gone to Bed; it is an ignorant young thing, I am to send her to my Sisters in the Country; I have had such ado to put her in the Fashion.

Pleas.

What Country is she? Prithee, Mr. Wild, let's see her.

Wild.

I'll call her down.

[Exit Wild.
Sadd.

Madam, now we see y'are safe we'l kiss your hands, and wait upon you to morrow.

Wid.

It must be early then, Sir; for I shall borrow my Nephews Coach, and be gone betimes into the Country to take a little fresh Air, and prevent the search.

Const.

Pray, Madam, be pleased to command ours.

Wid.

No, Sir, I humbly thank you; my Nephew's will hold our company.

Const.

Your humble servant, Mistress Pleasant.

Sadd.

Your servant, Madam.

Pleas.

Good night, Mr. Constant.

Wid.

Sir, you'l excuse us, we have no body here to light you down.

Carel.

Madam, I am here your servant as much as those that wear your Livery; and this house holds no other; we can be civil, Madam, as well as extravagant.

Wid.

Your humble servant, Mr. Careless.

Carel.

Gentlemen, if you'l wait on my Lady to her Chamber, then I'll wait upon you down.

Sadd.

You oblige us, Sir.

[Exeunt omnes.