Pharmacologia anti-empirica, or, A rational discourse of remedies both chymical and Galenical wherein chymistry is impartially represented, the goodness of natural remedies vincidated, and the most celebrated preparation of art proved uncapable of curing diseases without a judicious and methodical administration : together with some remarks on the causes and cure of the gout, the universal use of the Cortex, or Jesuits powder, and the most notorious impostures of divers empiricks and mountebanks / by Walter Harris ...

CHAP. XVII.

The Excellency of Physick, and how it be∣comes Contemptible. Of the Honour ascribed to Hippocrates by Greece. Of Quacks in general. Mountebanks how despised in other Countries, and how Re∣spected in this. How Pontaeus his Man took Aqua Fortis before the Physicians at Oxford; and of the Mountebank in Covent-Garden, his taking Arsenick. The consequences of such Impostures. How Pontaeus his Man did wash his hands in Scalding Lead. Two Stories shewing the ridiculousness of the common Divina∣tions by Urine. How far, and in what respect the Inspection of Urines is to be allowed. A Statute of the Colledge con∣cerning Urines. Linacer's way of scof∣fing at the Urine-messengers. A Divi∣nation by smelling at the Shoe. Of the Polonian Quacks knowing the Pox by three hairs of the head. Of the Prog∣nostication of Life and Death by an Astrological Figure. The Conclusion.

I 〈 in non-Latin alphabet 〉〈 in non-Latin alphabet 〉. Physick

is (in reality) the most excellent Art that is; but by reason of the Ignorance of many that (pretend to) Practise it, and by rea∣son of the rude, and false estimation which the common people do make concerning its Professors, it is now (in some Countries) become one of the Vilest of all others. Since Hippocrates his time, that Great Hippo∣crates, who by his admirable Skill, fore∣saw a dangerous Pestilence like to fall up∣on his Country, and therefore did in good time disperse his Scholars over Greece, with instructions how to oppose it with sea∣sonable Remedies, and for that remarkable Service, all Greece did consent to bestow the same Honours upon Him, as had been given before to Hercules, since that time, I say, the World has been pestered with many different broods of Empiricks, which have made greater Desolations of Man∣kind, than ever the Plague could have done to Greece. They have been not only a shame and scandal to the Profession of Phy∣sick, but even a Reproach to Humane Rea∣son, that those who are esteem Rational in their nature, as they are Men, should nevertheless degenerate into a more than Brutish Stupidity, by not at all distinguish∣ing between a True Physician, and a grosly Ignorant Quack, between the Real Pre∣servers

of their Health, and their both Secret and Open Murderers. No man can be Free of the most Servile Trade, but he must Serve an Apprenticeship for divers years, and yet there is not a Mechanick so mean, so ignorant, so simple, or so good for nothing, but when Idleness and Laziness have disenabled him from Living by his Trade, he shall in one Minutes time, with∣out any other Preparation for his New Calling, besides a Receipt, and a Stock of Impudence, set up for some Retailer to the Art of Physick. His Extream Ignorance is his very best qualification, and that which shall more Certainly recommend him to the peoples Favour, than if he understood Greek and Latin, than any Laborious and Necessary Education to Physick. For the more grosly Ignorant the man is, the better (they think) his Receipt must needs be; having nothing else to recommend him besides his meer Remedy, they will the less doubt the Intrinsick Goodness of that.

Mountebanks in other Countries are de∣spised as the very Dirt, they are not only the Scum, but even the Scorn of the com∣mon People, and though possibly they may get Money enough abroad, and upon that account may be allowed to hold up

their heads, yet their very Profession, be∣ing esteemed the most palpable Cheating and Lying, gives them a contempt, which they can never afterwards surmount. But here in England the case is altered, many a Mountebank has not only fleeced the poor people of their small Sums, which they most freely contribute for the plea∣sure of being thus deluded, but they have the peoples Hearts in kindness, and their Caps in reverence to them; they shall Honour a pittiful Mountebank equally with a Physician, nay some are so Sottish as to give the Impostor even a precedency of favour.

Therefore that the World may know a little of these men, which they have not heard of perhaps before, I shall re∣vive the Memory of our Famous Pontaeus; Famous not only for the Sums he pick'd up by this kind of Artifice, but for the Reputation and Honour which he gained to the Mountebanks base Trade, and who alone may be thought to have had more Real Knowledge, as well as Cunning, than whole Shoals of our Modern Tribe. I shall describe both the manner of his giving Rank Poysons, and the Method of his Man's washing his hands in Scalding Lead, and leave you thereby to judge,

whither his Antidote, which he recom∣mended by the one Exploit, were in re∣ality the better for it, and whither his Oyntment or Balsom, which he recom∣mended by the other, were the more Ex∣cellent against Burns, for what he shewed upon the Stage.

It is known, that Pontaeus, the first Mountebank that ever appeared on a Stage in England, made a Challenge to the Phy∣sicians at Oxford, to prepare for one of his Servants, the Rankest Poyson that they could contrive, and he should venture to take it before them all, publickly upon his Stage. The Physicians upon Consul∣tation agreed to give him a quantity of Aqua Fortis, as thinking that his Stomach must be a good one, which could resist so Powerful a Corrosive, a Corrosive that could dissolve all Metals besides Gold, and could eat through an inch-board. Pontaeus his man takes it cleaverly off, to the amaze∣ment of all Spectators, and to the un∣speakable praise of his Masters thereby Popular Antidote.

Now the Mystery of all was thus: Pon∣taeus Prepares the Fellow, with forcing down no less than two or three pounds of the Freshest Butter that could be made, and after he had thus sufficiently greased

his Gullet, and his Mouth was armed against the Poyson with a good gobbet of Butter, he swallows it down almost as Innocently as a Glass of Wine. But he was taught to fall down as Dead, and as such was carried off the Stage, to be put into a warm Bed, and to experience his Ma∣sters Antidote; when he was once in pri∣vate, he soon discharged up the Aqua Fortis; for having good store of Warm Water, and more Butter ready provided, the first did serve to dilute, and the other to blunt sufficiently the force of the Cor∣rosive Spirit; and so after a few minutes Vomiting, the man was as sound, and heart-whole, as another, and had little need of other Antidotes, than what he had taken already. But nevertheless the next day he appear'd on the Stage again, the people behold him as a man Risen from the Dead, their hearts yearn to see him again, and joyfully congratulate his Re∣covery. The Antidote is then magnified with a stronger Argument than Reason can answer, and let Physicians say what they will against it, people will, and think they may safely enough believe their own Eyes. Whereas in reality this Antidote proves but a piece of Legerdemaine, and Black-cherry Water would have been as

much a Preservative against the Poyson, as the Antidote its self. For the Butter and Water were the true Alexipharmick; the one kept off, and the other wash'd off the powerful Corrosive Spirit. But he was not so dull a Hocus, as to let his Trick be seen through. It was the man's Part to Act and shew to the best advan∣tage, it was the Peoples Part to See, and to Wonder.

Another Mountebank very lately in Co∣vent-Garden, and Lincolus-Inn-Fields, did alarm the Wonderment of the common people, by the taking of Arsenick, in or∣der to the vending an Orvietan. It seems he could not be perswaded to venture upon Aqua Fortis, as probably not under∣standing so well how to Prepare his body, as the Italian Pontaeus had done before him. But that this German did proceed in a like, though not so good a Method as Pontaeus, may be judged from this, that so soon as the Mountebank had taken his dose of Arsenick, and retreated to his Chamber, in order to take a Nap (as he said) during the rencounter of the Poy∣son, and his Orvietan; so soon as the people were dismissed, the Neighbours in the next House heard such a noise in the Quacks Chàmber, as plainly discovered the

Operation of an Emetick, rather than any design (as he pretended) of Sleeping.

Now it is a thing well worth the con∣sideration of Publick Authority, whither such gross Delusions, upon the Simplicity of the common People, deserve to be re∣warded with Countenance and Profit, and whither fatal consequences may not be apt sometimes to follow, if a Credulous, or Ignorant, or over-bold person, should in his Drink, or in a ridiculous Frolick, make trial of the Virtues of this man's Orvietan, with a much smaller quantity of Arse∣nick, or if one that has hapned to take Poyson by some accident, should neglect the proper means of Physick, and put all to the trial of his Mountebank's Re∣medy.

Again, if a man should have seen Pon∣taeus Acting the following Force, who could have doubted the Goodness, and more than ordinary Excellence of his Oynt∣ment against Burns, and Scaldings? He causes a fire to be brought upon the Stage, and a Vessel placed upon the Fire, full (they say) of Melted Lead. One of his Fellow is appointed to wash his hands in the Lead, as 'tis poured out upon them. The Fellow understands his Part very well, makes sower faces, and roars and

squalls as if he were to be killed out∣right, but flinches not from the matter, until every body has seen enough; and that he might be sure not to flinch from his Office, the man's hands are manacled together, that he might not, if he would, seem to draw off, but yet left in such li∣berty, that he might wash them freely. Then (poor man!) he must appear a very lamentable Spectacle, but the Oynt∣ment is soon applied to his Scalded Hands, and they are swathed up very deliberate∣ly, as if his Wounds were little less than Mortal. And yet after all, this Counter∣feit is no more hurt than you are, and the Oyntment might as well have been ap∣plied Behind, as where it was put; and the whole Mystery was thus; a quantity of Quick-silver was just set over the fire, in a Ladle painted Red round about, as if it were Red-hot, and something added to raise a little steam, which was to ap∣pear to be derived from his Scalded Hands, the man holds Vermilion concealed in each hand to give them a Scalding Coulour, while he washes, and what through his trembling and woful behaviour, and what through the great consternation that appeared in the whole Crew, one would almost Swear the man were half

killed. But every body minds his Office, the Oyntment being applied, the parts carefully swathed, and the Fire and Lead being taken off the Stage, Merry Andrew entertains the Spectators, and the rest of that day goes on at the usual rate. In the mean time the Counterfeit washes the Red off from his hands, he greases them a fresh with the Oyntment, and they are swathed up as they were before. Next day he appears again upon the Stage, mingles with the jovial Company, and truly finds himself much better already, which encourages his Master now to see how it does, when all of a sudden, a manifest Miracle is discovered to the peo∣ple, the Green Oyntment has Cured his hands already. Proclamation is aloud made, and so now it is high time to re∣commend the Pretious Medicines, the like being never known to the World before, and all is meerly for the good of people, which all Mountebanks wish abundantly more to, than to what they (good men!) despise, their own Profit and Interest. These two Relations an Inquisitive Friend of mine communicated unto me, and assured me, that he had them from Pon∣taeus his own mouth; who being Antient, and uncapable of going on with his Old

Trade, grew so free, as herein to open his mind without any Reserve. This he did privately unto two of his Familiar Friends, the one a Physician not long since deceased, the other a very Eminent Chi∣rurgion now living.

Nor have Mountebanks on Stages been the only Physical Impostors, there have been as bad a race of Deluders, both Men and Women, who will, or have under∣taken to tell all things from the Ʋrine, and the poor people, who hardly know, quid distant aera lupinis, are throughly convin∣ced of their Skill, by some cunning Stra∣tagem or other. Forestus writ an Excellent Treatise, De incerto ac fallaci urinarum judicio, to undeceive the World in this respect. I shall give you a Story or two out of that Good Author.

A couple of Quacks, being grown very indigent, and wanting a present Sum to supply their extravagancies at Dort in Holland, agreed thus; the one was to imitate the Doctor, and to give judgment upon Ʋrines, the other was to haunt the Taverns, and thus to proceed among the Tipling Companions; he tells them of a rare Artist that was come to Town, who had such profound Skill in Ʋrines, that he could tell how many several people

should piss in the same Pot, that if he did not do it exactly, he would willingly pay all the Reckoning, but if he did, he then desired to escape scot-free. They all agreed, and joyn their Symbola together in the same Pot, and while they were finding out an old woman to carry it, the Confederate Rogue makes six marks in the Pot, as signifying the number of persons. The Woman carries the Ʋrine to the trial, and the Piss-prophet very gravely declares the persons to have been Sir. The Fame of this egregious Skill soon fled round about the Town, and there was hardly a Person but had some question to ask over the Ʋrinal, his Chamber was flock'd to from morning 'till night, and in a few days they did the business they came thi∣ther about.

A Country Fellow carries Ʋrine to a Phy∣sician, who presently inquires, whither it were not his Wives Ʋrine; Yes, says the Country-man, but do you see nothing else in it? look well Sir. The Physician peering upon it, and seeing it was sound and good, said he suspected some out∣ward pain in the body. You have hit right, Sir, says the Country-man, but whence did she get the pain in her side, which is now black and blew with it? the Physician hear∣ing

that, and imagining the part could not be so affected, but with some blow or fall, asked whither she had not fallen? the man wondring how he should know that, says he, Master, if you can but tell me from what place she fell, I shall account you the bravest Doctor that ever I met with; the Physician admiring the man's stupi∣dity, and thinking what kind of Houses such dull Souls lived in, said that she fell from some Beam, or else down Stairs. Ay me, says the Clown, but if you could tell me how many Stairs she fell, I would cry you up above all the World. Here the Physi∣cian could not forbear smiling to purpose, at the man's Simplicity, and thinking such kind of Animals do'nt use to have Stairs very high, says he, she fell perhaps twelve Stairs. To whom the Clown, look well Sir, for there must be more. The Physician then recollecting himself, that the weather was very Frosty, told him, the way he came was slippery, did not he stum∣ble as he came, and so spill some of it? The man, wondring at the Skill of the Pro∣phet, cried, Sir, I did fall by the way and spill some. The Physician then very gravely and stemely concluded: Friend, in the place where you fell, you must look the rest of the Stairs, for in the Pot I can't find'em.

It would be too long to insist on the simplicity and folly of those who carry Ʋrines to and fro, and the Knavery of those Quacks, or Ill men, who give coun∣tenance to their fond opinions. The In∣spection of Ʋrines in some Diseases, and in the Patients house, where other Signs and Symptoms can be throughly considered withall, is one part of a Good Physician, and what he ought not to be ignorant of; but the meer Inspection of Ʋrines, carried about to Impostors and Diviners, without the concomitancy of other circumstances highly relating to the true knowledge of a Disease, is a gross Prevarication, and most unworthy of the Profession of Physick, and that sincere dealing which ought to be ex∣pected from men of such excellent under∣standing, and so Good an Education as our Art requires.

The Statutes of our Colledge are most Candid and Ingenious in this point: Statu∣imus, & ordinamus, ut nemo, sive Socius, sive Candidatus, sive Permissus, consilii quidquam impertiat veteratoriis, & impo∣storibus, super urinarum nudâ inspectione, nisi simul ad aegrum vocetur, ut ibidem, pro re natâ, idonea medicamenta ab honesto ali∣quo Pharmacopola componenda praescribat.

And the Juglings and Artifices, by which Quacks and Empiricks do delude the Vulgar, in pretending to know all Diseases by the meer Inspection of the Ʋrine, have been excellently well laid open in a small, but smart Treatise, called the Piss-Prophet, or certain Piss-Pot Le∣ctures.

Linacer a famous Physician, who lived in the time of Henry the Eighth, was even then so much concerned at the ridiculous humour of Nurses, and other Women, who upon every ailment both great and small, were too too ready to carry about the Patients Ʋrine, expecting they should be told all things from the meer specula∣tion of it, would often advise them in ridicule, to bring the Patients Shoe, instead of the Ʋrine, and he would Prophesie full as well over that. Nay farther, there were a sort of Knaves in his days, who considering how well the Vulgar would relish any thing of Novelty, though ne∣ver so Absurd, would undertake to make Discoveries of Diseases from the Smell of the Patients Shoe, as Solemnly and Seriously as others from the Ʋrine.

But to manifest how grosly our present Age can be imposed upon by the most Absurd Pretensions, we may call to mind

a late exploit of a certain Polander, as he called himself; for he thought his own Country, Ireland, too near to be enough admired, and therefore than a Polish undertaker would sound better among us, because more Rare and New. This man for a short time, made Noise enough with his trudging to Westminster-Hall in a Scarlet Gown, with Outlandish Whiskers, and Red-ink Bills, cut after a new fashion. He pretended to tell people whither they had the Pox or no, by looking on three hairs of the Head. And this so grosly absurd, and most ridiculous contrivance, by the great virtue of its being New, did presently carry the day from the other Quacks, and he was followed by a great many people to know whither they had not what they had often, it seems, de∣served. Nay, they say that divers Per∣sons, who had escaped perhaps too well in their Adventures, were so over-wrought upon by this bold Impostors Lying, that they could venture themselves into a brisk Course of Physick, to Cure their de∣luded Fancy. Now I have hap'ned to be in company with some of those very per∣sons, who set up this man with so strange a contrivance. It seems he being with others over the Bottle, complained

very heartily that he must needs in a short time go for Ireland or Scotland, but had not Money to defray his Journey. Come, says a man of Cunning, I'le teach thee how to get Money; and with that this egregious Mystery was put into Mood and Figure, and too exactly suited to the humour of our People, some of which can love Novelty as much as their Meat and Drink.

The way of determining both Life and Death, by the uncertain Rules of an Astro∣logical Figure, has sometimes more fatal consequences, than we are commonly aware. I have known some Patients of mine brought even to Death's Door, by a Bold Positive Sentence from the small evidence of an Ill Figure, who might otherwise have escaped sending for me, to know the event of their over-ruling Prognostick. The Artist, upon view of the Scheam, has Positively determined, that they must dye. And if they had not found the Heavens more Propitious, by Inclining them to send for Better Ad∣vice, they might fairly have quitted the Stage of the World, before the Stars did really intend it. I have dispossessed their foolish Fancies of the grounds of that False Sentence, and by the Application of proper

Remedies, have set them up again as they were before, notwithstanding the Satur∣nine menaces, and malevolence of the Horary Questions.

Now it may properly be said to all these Deceivers, what the Comaedian Plautus did formerly in one of his Plays: Gr. Quid tu, num Medicus quaeso, es? La. Imò aedepol unà literâ plus sum quam Me∣dicus. Gr. Tum tu Mendicus es? or if you will, Mendax. La. tetigisti a••••u.

Reason and Argument will never be able to silence the false Pretensions, or to hinder the Practices of the Emepirical Tribe. It is now their Trade, and they will follow it as long as they can; for thus they can live lazily without Labour, in an Art that is in reality most difficult to attain, but which these men have acquired, like Beasts, by meer Instinct. Authority indeed may effe∣ctually interpose, and relieve the Publick in these Extream cases, with proper, and those Extream Remedies. And we have no reason to despair, but the due Exe∣cution of our Good Laws on all Offenders of this nature, which is now of late followed by our Colledge with a more than ordinary care and vigour, will in a short time sufficiently discourage all pretended Physical Impostures.

Notes

• Hippocr. Lex.
• Plin. Nat. Hist. lib. 7. cap. 37.
• De incert. urin. judic. lib. 2. c. 4.
• Lib. 2. c. v.
• Cap. de Con∣verfat. mo∣rali.
• Printed for Ben. Thrale in Cheap∣side.
• David Ed∣guardus de judiciis & praecogniti∣onibus.
• In Rudente Act. 5. Scen. 2.