Don Zara del Fogo a mock-romance / written originally in the Brittish tongue, and made English by a person of much honor, Basilius Musophilus ; with a marginall comment, expounding the hard things of the history.

CHAP. V.

Soto comes to Court and delivers his Masters Letter to the Lady Madona del Simplicia. Her scornfull Reply. The Champion (being transported with passion) strikes Soto on the face. Soto turns up∣on his Master: Acruell Combat betwixt them. Zara meeting with Don Panta∣lone there happens a bloody and dread∣full Fight. Soto's death and revivall.

IT was now about the hour when every maw expected its meal, when Soto came to the Palace where he found the Lady Madona-del-Simplicia with the Princesses Maulkina and Dowcabel at dinner, and was forced (to his great grief) to wait in the Lobby till the time of exercising the teeth was over; the custome of the No-lan∣ders, being quite diff••••••nt from that of other Nations, they never inviting any stranger to eat or drink, out of a conceit (it seems) that by their so do∣ing

they should prejudice the sellers of Roast or Boyled in the City, who paid great Taxes to the Prince, and were ever the first who * 1.1 waited upon him to the Warres at their owne Charges; so that Soto having atten∣ded long with much impatience, was admitted to the presence of the Lady Simplicia, to whom (after many man∣nerly cringes) he presented his Ma∣sters Letter; the Lady, though she courteously received it, did not seem the least taken with the tenour, but having afforded a slight perusall, she * 1.2 put it (not as SOTO expected in her bosome) in her pocket, returning the Champion this Answer:

That she did wonder a man of a strange Countrey, who for ought she knew was no more then a pretender to Arms, should be possessed with so bold a confi∣dence to court her by Letter, whom he had never so much as spoken to; she wil∣led him to forb••••r for the future any more to sollicite her by Letter, lest he involved himself in a Labyrinth, out of which he could not escape, but with the forfeiture

of his life, ••dding that if it were he (〈◊〉〈◊〉 she beleeved it was) who departed from the Presence in the morning, in so m••d, or rather Clownish a manner, she could not think him fit for any Society, save those of the Black-Guard, being either not well in his wits, or a Coridonicall Coxcombe.

Having said this, she ••••ung a∣way, her Gesture expressing the high∣est disdaine, leaving SOTO in as much amazement as Ulysses his fol∣lowers, when they felt themselves gradually giving up their manly shapes for that of Swine. What should poor SOTO do? toreturn to his Master with this nipping An∣swer, were to endanger his skin, and for to stay in this Inhospitable place were to starve his stomack; for a long time he stood like a man Soul-lesse; but at last his hunger overcame the thought of danger, and hee set forward towards his Masters Lodgings, who guessed the very event of the businesse by his face, but wisely disguising his fear,

he cheerfully demanded what An∣swer the Lady had sent him. My Lord, said Soto, such an one as nei∣ther befits me to relate, nor you to hear, suffice it, she is a proud, dis∣dainfull, contumacious woman, and is as likely to be won by your endea∣vours, as it is probable for me to make Minerva my Minion: This ra∣ther increased then mitigated the Champions inquiry, who comman∣ded him, as he would avoid his wrath, to declare the whole carriage of the business. Since you will have it so, said Soto, know that she not only con∣demned your confidence for daring to importune her, but bespattered you with the odious epithets of Clown and Coxcomb. Death of my soule! said Zara, thou art alwayes (like the Raven) croaking my infortunity and disgrace, and I believe a cherisher ra∣ther then a confronter of those that calumniate me, in saying this (being transported with choller) he gave Soto so grievous a blow on the face, that it made him * 1.3 totter thirty paces from him, the blood gushing out of

his nose very violently; so that Soto, who (as it seems) had never before seen any such sauguinary flux, ima∣gined himself wounded mortally, be∣yond all hope of escape, the grief whereof so exasperated him, that it gave him (as it were) a new soul, just when he lookt for no less then a sepe∣ration of soul and body, and (O vil∣lany!) he resolved to take vengeance on his Master as his Murtherer, and accordingly (with the highest cou∣rage) came up to the teeth of Zara, * 1.4 striking him twice or thrice on the chaps, in a most butcherly manner; it was long ere the Champion (so great was his astonishment at this impudence of Soto) could believe both what he saw and felt, but having pregnant proof that Soto was indeed in earnest, and of a Secretary and an assistant was become a Serpent and an Assasinate, he redoubled his blowes with inexpressible indignation, which Soto not onely received, but retorted with almost equall force, so that the Combat grew both dangerous and dreadfull, and it was hard to deter∣mine

which of they two should first purchase the Palm of Victory, for Soto (firmly conceiting that his latest hour was come) had sworn to his own soul to take his Master with him to Tarta∣rus; this cruel contest continued for half an hour, till the Champion (as scorning to struggle any longer with his slave) closing with Soto, * 1.5 compel∣led him to the earth; and now ha∣ving this Typhon down, good reason that he overwhelm him with a moun∣tain, therfore he loaded his brest with the weight of his bulk, ever and anon affording him a cuff or two, which Soto not knowing how to retalliate but with his teeth, at one snap snatcht away the tip of the Champions nose, which (with a Sardinian smile) he forced in his face, who now was skrew'd up to the highest key of an∣ger, and therefore drawing his knife, he cruelly cut off both the ears of Soto, attempting (O Scythian ferity) to cram the new-cropt dowcets down his throat; by this one act of Barba∣rity he for ever disabled Soto, who now concluded himself as dead as a pickled Herring, and accordingly po∣stured

himself as one fit for Funeall, which caused the Champion (who e∣ver abhominated to insult over a de∣jected, or dead Foe) to forbear the further prosecution of his rage, and imagining he had most certainly slain his servant and Secretary, he present∣ly harnessed himself, and mounting his strong Steed (as if haunted with Furies, like Orestes or Orlando) he put spurs to his Palfray (all bedewed as he was with Soto's blood) with a re∣solve to find out Don Pantalone, the Knight of the PUDDING and in one day to rid the world of two of his terriblest Enemies; his eyes had scarce lost the sight of his Lodgings, where he beheld Pantalone riding to∣wards him in shining Armour, his Sword drawn in his hand. Zara was something abas••ed to meet him so pat, yet scorning to have his Man of War sunk by a Sculler, he also drew his blade, and comming within six yards of him, said,

Art thou that unmanner'd and de∣generate Knight, that but yesterday didst send me a defiance by the Knight of the Jackanapes, challenging this

Steed, Arms, Shield, and Sword, as thine, and threatning to cudgell and kick me, in case I delivered them not up into thy custody, as the true owner.

Yes, said Pantalone, I am that very man, and will justifie that challenge, proving with my life, that thou art an Errant Thief, and no Knight Er∣rant, the shame of Knighthood and the stain of honour.

In saying this he gave his Steed a prick with his spur, who (as Panta∣lone had educated him) took a leap, which conveyed his Rider so neer our Champion, that striking him on the mouth with his hand and Gauntlet, he dislocated no less then four of his formost teeth, what can we fancy how much our Champion was exaspera∣ted with this trecherous indignity; therefore spitting his useless Grind∣ers in Pantalones face (with such fury, that he had almost unhorsed him) * 1.6 he gave the Knight of the Pudding so manly a blow on his Helmet, that he had cloven him to the waste, had not his Cap of steel been created by the Chalybes, and dipped in the River of

Bilboe; Pantalone (who had never be∣fore felt such force) sate upon his horse back with a shivering amazed∣ness, but at length recollecting him∣self, he seemed to make ample amends for his late stupidity, by giving Zara a wide wound on his right arm, which could not have hapned had our Champions Belt been girt about him, by vertue whereof he defied the dint of Sword, but (by the appointment of some malevolent power) that mi∣raculous Girdle (being broken in the midst by the vigorous motion of his body while he encountred with Duke La-Fool and his 10000. Knights) fell from his waste the day before, so that now (like the slack-sinew'd Hebrew Gyant, with his hair off) he was no more then a very Mortall, and yet the greatnesse of his spirit for a long time supplied that insupportable loss, and he received wound upon wound with incredible patience; Nor was the Knight of the Pudding wholly exem∣pted from danger (for••o a Knight on hors-back, as is storied of the Cen∣taurs, he that wounds the beast gashes the man) his Courser being wounded

in the neck, and having a considera∣ble cut over the nosthril, so that Pan∣talone was every minute in fear that his Steed should swown under him, and lye down with loss of blood; in the mean time Zara's wounds were multiplyed, yet his heart not molli∣fied, resolving rather to dye couragi∣ously, then to make a cowarly Resig∣nation of his Horse, Armour, Shield and Sword, and which was more then all, his person; besides he had suffici∣ently tired himself (one would think) in the late Battall against Duke la-Fool and his confederates, add to this his dismal ingagement with Soto, and therefore ought to have been ex∣cused from Warlike imployment (at least) for some months. What could Themistocles, Cleomenes, Hanniball, A∣l••xander, or the mighty Montelyon, Knight of the Oracle have done more; the excessive loss of blood so enfeebles him, that he is scarce able to brandish his blade, or to keep the Saddle, un∣less he grasp the pummell; which Pantalone perceiving (like a good and gracious Knight) exhorted him to yield himself, and with the price of

his Sword, St••••d, Armour and Shield, to 〈◊◊〉〈◊◊〉 delivery from eminent death; I will quoth Pantalone, not onely spare thy life, but be thy con∣duct to thy Lodging, thy wounds shall be sowed up by skilfull Chyru••∣gious, and thy body, brought to a 〈◊〉〈◊〉 bed; Our Champion is now more * 1.7 vanquished by courtesie then by strength, being so much taken with this kind 〈◊〉〈◊〉 of Pantalone, that alighting (though with much a∣••••, by reason of his faintness) he took his Horse by the bridle, and humb∣ling himself at Pantalones feet:

〈◊◊〉〈◊◊〉 qu••th 〈◊〉〈◊〉 what 〈◊〉〈◊〉 all the steel of Tole•••• 〈◊〉〈◊〉 * 1.8 Bryareus, though each ••and of 〈◊◊〉〈◊◊〉 managed a Sword could 〈◊◊〉〈◊◊〉, is effected by thy 〈◊〉〈◊〉 ca•• 〈◊◊〉〈◊◊〉 this Shield, this good S〈…〉〈…〉d, 〈◊◊〉〈◊◊〉, and this sturdy Steed as 〈◊〉〈◊〉 gi•••• (my worth will command more whereever Destiny shall drive 〈◊〉〈◊〉.)

The Knight of the Pudding (with a smile) received what our Champion so willingly surrendred, and seating himself on 〈◊〉〈◊〉 foo•• afforded Zara a being at his back, 〈…〉〈…〉ading his owne

horse in his hand (a thing that admi∣nistred some cause of distast to our Champion, but having taken a Truce with his Enemy, he would not be the first should break it) riding on till he came to Don Zara's Lodgings, the people gazing upon him all the way very wistly, and whispering vitupe∣ratively, which our Champion heard well enough, but discreetly took no notice, being now become the very Emblem of the Golden Age, when a Pidgeon shal converse with Vultures; nor was Pantalone perfidious, but (in order to his promise) very courte∣ously caused a skilfull Chyronist to be called, himself beholding those wounds which his hands had lately given carefully closed up, and the bruised Champion laid in his bed, of whom having taken leave, he retur∣ned (with his Horse, Armour, Shield, and Sword) to the Knight of the Ape, and his other Companions.

It were needlesse to narrate what flouting, and what fleering there was amongst the bundle of Knights about this business of Don Zara, every man

censuring as his fancy guided. The course of the History commands us to leave them to the guidance of their Fate, and return to Soto (earless Soto) whom we lately left dead on the floor all be-mangled by his Master; long time it was (though he felt the palpi∣tations of his heart and pulse, and that he was as warm as a new-beaten Bai∣liff) before Soto could be convinced of his Heresie, or believe himself to be alive, * 1.9 first he moved an arm, then a leg, and at last took such heart of grace, that he couragiously leapt up∣on his feet, but the sight of his new∣lopt ears had almost laid him along again; neverthelesse (with tremb∣ling) he at length took up his Lugs, and having heedfully wrapt them up in paper, put them in his pocket, till time should furnish him with oppor∣tunity to afford them the Rites of Sepulture; being thus out of all doubt, that he was now as other Mor∣talls, save for some maymes which he was resolved to keep from being seen by the help of his hair, he began to be somewhat comforted; but that

very sort of sorrow which in others occasion drought, causes in him hun∣ger, a sharp appetite to meat; he therefore began to consider what was become of his Master Don Zara Del Fogo, and to curse himself for oppo∣sing him as an equall, whom he ought to have adored as a Soveraign; ha∣ving therefore resolved to finde him, out, (and if it were possible) to re∣concile himself, he resorted to the Host of the house where his Master resided, and very demurely demanded whether Don Zara del Fogo his Lord and Master were at home or abroad, in the Camp or the Court, answer was made, that he was just now con∣veyed to his bed (being much woun∣ded) by a strange Knight, who seemed no other then he that had fought with him; Soto therefore enquiring what manner of man he was, and what Arms he wore, knew assuredly, that it was the Knight of the Pudding, Don Pantalone; he therefore resolutely went up to his Masters Chamber, but found the door fast locked, for the Champion having had his wounds

bound up, and being laid in a soft bed, had betaken himself to rest; Soto knocked twice or thrice very soberly, but receiving no answer, he multipli∣ed his stroaks, so long till Zara be∣ing awakened, demanded who was there; Soto retorted, Your Servant and Secretary SOTO; at which the * 1.10 CHAMPION (imagining by this time he had been laid in Earth), be∣came much amazed, and in a distract∣ed tone cryed out:

I beseech thee, thou Spirit of wronged Soto, return to thy rest, and vex not him with thy clamours who shall shortly visit thee in the other World.

Soto replyed:

My Lord, we are both more happy then you conceit, I am alive, and Master of the same faculties of flesh that you are.

At this the Champion scrambled out of his bed, and opening the door, Soto supported him to his former sta∣tion, where being laid he enquired of Soto how and by what meanes he esca∣ped, who related to him every parti∣cular both of his death and Revi∣vall: I shall the more cheerefully

welcome Death, said the Champion, that thou art alive; he then began to discourse what had hapned lately betwixt him and the Knight of the Pudding, and in the close of all com∣manded meat to be brought, and was confirmed that Soto was no Ghost by his eating: By this time it grew late, Cynthia being mounted in the highest of her five and twenty Mansions, the Champion therefore, having imbra∣ced Soto, permitted him to depart, and slank down into his bed the se∣cond time.

Notes

• * 1.1

  As his Life-guard.
• * 1.2

  But though the Lady seemed to slight his Verses in publike, she often made use of them in a Privie place.
• * 1.3

  The Cham∣pions invin∣cible strength
• * 1.4

  The outr••∣gious Co〈…〉〈…〉 between Do•• Zara and his servant Soto.
• * 1.5

  Being ac∣q〈…〉〈…〉ed (it seems) with that sleight of heel which Wrestlers cal the Cornish Hug.
• * 1.6

  The dread∣full Combat between Don Zara & Don Pantalone.
• * 1.7

  Zara's re∣markable placability.
• * 1.8

  A German Fe••cer ha∣ving a hun∣dred hands.
• * 1.9

  Soto's Re∣surrection.
• * 1.10

  Zara takes Soto for a Ghost. Sea ••elthams Resolvs the third Cen∣tury, pag. 100000.