Don Zara del Fogo a mock-romance / written originally in the Brittish tongue, and made English by a person of much honor, Basilius Musophilus ; with a marginall comment, expounding the hard things of the history.

Don Zara del Fogo: A Mock-Romance. (Book 1)

CHAP. I.

Don Zara his descent. The description of his Shield, and Martiall Furniture. His invocation, and setting forth to seek Adventures.

IT was now about that mun∣grell hour when the black∣brow'd night, and grey∣ey'd morning strove for su∣periority, when the mirror of Martiall spirits Don Zara del Fogo sweeping the somniferous God from o•• ••is ample front with that Broom of Heaven his face-pounding fist, en∣tred into serious contemplation of

the renowned Acts of his most Noble Ancestors, Thistram the terrible and the great Lancelot of the Lake, so ravi∣shing were those heroick, Rhapsodies, that (upon mature chew of the cud) the Champion began to tax himself of tardity, as not having accumulated that Fame, which at the price of so * 1.1 eminent dangers he had so hotly hunted after; this second cogitation had but a while combated with the first, when he summons the Squire of his body Soto, who lay soundly sleep∣ing at his beds feet, commanding him (since himself never knew Letters) to read the Chronicle History of Saint George, who bathed his body in the bloody bowels of a fell Dragon, or the like Atchievement of Sir Elamore, or the hard Quest of Sir Topa•• after the Queen of Elues to Barwick, or of Sir Guy and the fierce Boar of Boston; Sir quoth Soto (who had hardly gained sight enough to see his Master) you were wont to take great pleasure in hearing the redoubted Adventures of Sir Bevis, sirnamed Southampton; and The Knight of the Sun; that, that quoth the Champion, the Knight of the Suns

actions would put fire into a flint stone, animate a Log, and make a woodden leg to walk; Soto had not long led his Master by the large eares (* 1.2 for our Champion boasted a long∣linckt Genealogie, from the Phrygian King Midas, a hundred fourscore and fourteen descents by the fathers side) but suddenly deserting his bed, he ceazed (* 1.3 all naked as he was) on his naked Sword, that Thunder-crack of terrour Slay-a-Cow, the very same that he lately won on Monta-Mole-hill from the great Gyant Phrenedecrenobroso, the son of Pediculo, and leaning thereon like the legitimate Heyr of Mars, he very attentively hoorded up the trea∣sures of true Magnanimity. At every close where the Knight either woun∣ded the Gyant, or rescued the Lady, in token of the ardency he bare to such illustrious Acts, he gave liberty to his nayles to bring blood from ei∣ther buttock, for such was the ranck∣ness of his courage, that not onely his soul, but his skin had a perpetuall itching after honourable Attempts, ••ugmented by a herd of small Cattel, which some Authors will have to be

the Genuisses of deceased Worthies, all waiting upon this man of men, which I confess * 1.4 I cannot credit since it was Soto's custome (in order to his Masters special command) every mor∣ning to kill some of them; but the cheerfull Lady of the Light, old Ty∣thons tender-skin'd Madam, appearing our Champion, commanded his trusty Squire to buckle on his Armour; too long (quoth he) have we * 1.5 Padlockt Fames Tongue, not administring any tittle tattle to that tell-tale Goddess; Soto amaz'd at his Masters mood, soon girds that Sword about him which had often made head-strong Gyants to reel, the flinty-edged Slay-a-Cow, putting a Buckler fashioned like a Spanish Ruffe (full half yard deep) about his neck, in which with won∣drous Art was pourtrayed the thrice∣famous story of that renowned Com∣bat betwixt those two Arcadian He∣ro's, Clinias and Dametas, as I have seen those pair of Champions * 1.6 drawn to the life in Canvas against the walls of a mean Mansion made for good∣fellowship; those Bucklers that * 1.7 Ho∣mer and Virgil have fashioned for A∣chilles

and Aeneas, were but the varni∣shes of some Indian hand compared with this rare piece of Sculpture, a∣bout the Reverse whereof was this Distich (which some attribute to Li∣nus, others to Hesiod) ingraven,

This Shield by Vulcan was in Lemnos forged, That it might serve Don Zara for a Gorget.

His Mace * 1.8 bearing the figure of a Cambrian Fig Soto hanged at his Sad∣dle bow, for he had abjured the use of a Spear since that fatall Turnament in Utopia, when a splinter of his Lance forced it self against the face of the truly Sanctimonious Matron Bawd∣whore••a; then seating himself on the back of good Steed Founder-foot (a hors not to be bettered in Phoebus Sta∣ble for the flownce or the frisk, and all the fashions of a prauncing Pal∣fray) he appointed Soto to Lacquey by his side, committing himself to the guidance of Fortune: Soto was ar∣med (not so much for his own preser∣vation as his Lords defence) with an

* 1.9 Ashen plant, made tough by Time, and pointed with steel, his brain was bound about with a Monmouth Tur∣band, and his back and breast bul∣warkt with impenetrable Past-boord, so that he who had seen our Champi∣on and his Attendant, could not but have fancied the mighty Primalion and his Page, or the famous Bragado∣chio and his man Trompart; nor could the piety of our Champion permit him to castigate his Courser for the mending of his pace, till he had offe∣red up this solemn Orayson to the * 1.10 souls of those deceased Worthies, whose complicated lustre creates that splendent path, called The Milkie way.

O Mervin, Mervin, (quoth he) thou mighty Son of the munificent Oger, who at one stroke didst pare away three heads from off the shoulders of an Orke begotten by an Incubus! Thou George the great Champon of Christendom (the true Apol∣lo) who for the sake of the Sultans daugh∣ter, destroyedst a Python s••x acres in length; Thou Amadis de Gaule, wh•• encountredst with a Dragon and a Devil at once; Thou Palmerin de Oliva, who

(by vertue of a Wart on thy nose) didst so many times passe the Aegean Seas in a Shallop contrived all of Coney-skins; and thou Errant Knight of the Ruby Rose; Look down ye immortall Essences of never∣dying Fulgor, let your spirits be * 1.11 Centred and centupled in me whose * 1.12 heart is of a size sufficient to retain all your Excellen∣cies, and in whose ample brest there lod∣ges as sublime a Soul as ever yet Nature coffin'd up in a Carkas composed of a met∣tal more robust then that of Roderigo, or Rud-Hudrinbrass.

This Ejaculation was no sooner sooner extinct, but Soto (enamoured on his Lords perfections, as if he had been inspired by one of Agrippa's holy Demons) began to shake his skull very strangely, rowling his eyes like Abra∣ham in Sands his Show, insomuch that our Champion (could it have been possible for that thing call'd Fear to build in his brest) had fled from the face of his faithfull Servitor; but to put a period to his anxiety, Soto thrust forth these numbers, in a tone almost equall to * 1.13 Stentors, the presages of

his Masters incomparable, incompre∣hensible performances.

LAce on thy Helmit, mighty man of valour, Fortune shall never squeeze thee with her sq••llour: Fierce Knights and crnell Beasts, with many a Gyant, Thy charmed steel shall make both smooth and plyant; The fickle Goddesse on thy horses Crupra, (As her best boast) has fixed her Nil-supra, For things beyond belief thou shalt atchieve-a, Which shall make after times to grutch and grieve-a, When they shall finde thou ••••st as brave a Plea-as The great Achilles, and the stout Aeneas: O therefore of thy Fame b•• no neglector, Thou that ar•• born to rivall glorious Hector: Were there a Troy besieg'd, and thou within it,

Not Greece, nor Gallo-Belgica could win it; Troylus should live, so Rhaesus and Sarpedon, Achilles dye on's wounds, and Ajax bleed on: All that's Magnanimous, or high, or rare-a, Being lockt up in the brest of our Don Zara.

Heightned with this poeticall Pro∣phesie (the Brittish * 1.14 Proverb being verified by this brace of brave ones) our Champion already fancied him∣self fighting with Gogmagog, or Gar∣gantua for the moity of the Universe; but so unfortunate was he this very first day of his most memorable re∣solve, that desired Adventurs offered it self, neither fierce Lyon, nor furious Bear, yelling Dragon, foaming Boar, or angry Antilope, no perjured Knight to fight withall, or injur'd Lady to infranchise, no Magicall Wharfe, so that the Champion did not causlesly curse so calm a Climate, that afforded no viands for Valour to feed on; Thus chewing the cud of courage, he

rode on in much vexation, till the approaching night warned him to take shelter, which Fortune favou∣rably allotted him, for at the foot of a huge mountain, whose head knockt against the Clouds, a * 1.15 Cottage with a * 1.16 chequered Portall, Piriwig'd with thatch, and lined with mud, offered it self for his entertainment, its course out-side was no less then a corasive to our Champions conscience, but he had heard of * 1.17 Seneca's Avisoe, that, The wisest and strongest men ought to stoop to Time and Fate; and threfore ma∣king a halt at the door of this sedgie structure, he alighted from his good Steed, and demanded hospitable treat of the Captain of that carowsing Cit∣tadel, who (in much astonishment) gave a trembling reception to himself and Soto.

CHAP. II.

Zara and Soto their entertainment in the Cottage, their Host (looking upon the Champions fist) tells him his Fortune, and recites a Copy of verses, with other re∣markable passages.

OUr Champions carkass was not more harrassed with tedious tra∣vaile, then his colon crammed with an accustomed vacuity, for he having been managed to this maturity with Mares Milk, though he boasted not the strength, yet he retained the stomack of a horse; the first thing therefore debated on by our Don, was (as an In∣quisitor) what food the Farmery af∣forded? the Host after many cringes began to excuse his unpreparedness; his bed-Cockatrice seconding him with an old-brew'd Apologie, but quoth mine Host (who in all respects resembled that * 1.18 Robert of the Vale,

who foretold the landing of Henry the 7^th.) if your worshipfull Excel∣lency shall deign to accept of such provaunt as at the present your ser∣vant can purvay, your worshipfull Excellency will eternally oblige me: Pray thee (quoth Zara) leave thy prate, and provide such sustenance as my merit commands, and thy estate permits; for by the soul of Caesar, I am as hungry as an Ostrich, and could digest a bar of Iron bigger then an ordinary Main-Mast: The Astrolo∣gers (I am afraid) keep such * 1.19 Houses as thine when they sup on sides of Taurus, and joynts of Aries: My guts quoth Soto, are contorted like a Dra∣gons-tayle, in Elf-knots, as if some Tripe-wife had tackt them together for Chitterlings: The Host wondred at these eagre expressions, and conclu∣ded that the Champion had bin lately upon some Adventure fasting; while meat was making ready, the merry Host exhorts his Guests to a free Ca∣rowse, beginning a Health to Charle∣maine, which Don Zara not refused, and commanding Soto to the same ce∣lebration; remember (quoth he) the

great Duke of Drowndland, whose Champion I am, and his sole Heire the most illustrious and divinely fair, Morphena del Stupratia. Soto was ever an obedient servant to his Master, e∣specially if the injunction had any dependence on the pot or the spit, and therefore he failed not in the premi∣ses, so that Bacchus has almost baulkt Ceres, and our Champion is now more drink then dyet: But by this time * 1.20 Supper is served up, but neither Ho∣stess nor Host can be perswaded to sit down, but they waited on the Cham∣pion and his o'r-grown Page as in∣compatibly, as if Homer had made Nestor and Hecuba to dance attend∣ance after Diomed and Teueer; they fast to admire Zara, and pray that them∣selvs may escape the stroak of his * 1.21 steel, the Champion making it ap∣pear by the terribleness of his teeth, that he dares tear the strongest oppo∣site in pieces: Nor was Soto's cou∣rage much inferiour to his Masters, who eats and talks, making his sto∣ries the parenthesis of his meals, what Fiction reports of mad Ajax, that having kill'd a Sheep, fancied he had

slain Agamemnon, is here prov'd true, for every gaping Orifice that our Champion created, most lamentably butchered his Host, what wide wounds he gives Routing all before him; so that he must trust to tradition, that should say such and such once were: But at last his fury began to be asswa∣ged, being grown weary of the work of death, he sheathed his Fauchion, and commanded a bowl of the same cratonian liquor to be brought, which after a trebble pledge, abolishes all nicity * 1.22 and makes the Heroe and his Host look like one another, the four which make the Family now tipple promiscuously; * 1.23 His Excellency en∣forces the parity, who (big with fan∣cy) narrates his severall Encounters, Onslaughts, and Batteries, his infran∣chising of inthralled Ladies, his fini∣shing Inchantments, his inquests at home, and Conquests in forreigne Countries, his binding of Gyants in brazen Gyves, and driving out the souls of Dragons and Daemons; His Host and Hostess listning as attentive∣ly as if the Lecture of the Seven Cham∣pions were now reading: But, quoth

my Host, if your Highness please I can inform you of your future Fate by an infallible Rule which I once learned of an old Gypsie in Monmouthshire, who pen'd it in Monosyllables, please to afford your victorious palm; these last words were more terrible to our Champion then the points of a thou∣sand Swords, imagining that his Host would hint that old Maxime in Pal∣mistry, viz. the farcing of the fist with a piece of silver; but this terrour was soon taken away by his Hostess ready reception of his hand, who (having gently wiped away that filth, which lay at the foot of his mons veneris with his spittle) began for to foretell many future events, and amongst the rest predicted, that such a year of his life the Champion should be * 1.24 beholding to his book for his persons safety: This Clause made Don Zara (who knew that his neck could not be pro∣tected by his tongue) to laugh hearti∣ly, which his Host perceiving (though angry that his Art should not finde a more serious welcome) he said, I find that your worshipfull Highness had rather be busied about some more

merry imployment; I confess Palmi∣stry is so profound a Science, that few or * 1.25 none upon earth understand it: Behold Sir a Copy of Verses that our Vicar lately composed (on St. Valen∣tins day) occasioned by a great * 1.26 Feast made by Maior of Quinborough, a City not above half a league distant from hence; then pulling out a bag of the best Buckram, the Champion having commanded silence, mine Host began to read the following numbers.

SAturn grown old, the Gods agree, * 1.27 b 1.28 Jove should assume his Soveraiguty, And become chief; a solemn day Appointed, when the Gods most gay, * 1.29 (Attair'd in habits rare and strange) Came to be witness of this change; The Fry of Gods were there beside, Each with his Bastard, whore, and Bride, The path which to Joves Palace leads In order, all this rich troop treads, d 1.30 Ceres threw wheat on Jove most d〈…〉〈…〉nty Thereby forespeaking future plenty: Th'Instructed Swine did follow after, And for their Wheat left somthing softer, e 1.31 Civet, like Irish Soap, good beasts, Fit waiters at such solemn Feasts:

At length they reacht Joves Hall of bliss, The Gods sat down, the f 1.32 Goddesses Were striving for the Superiority, Till g 1.33 Juno challenging the Majority, Ended the business (most demurely) Plac't and displac't as pleas'd her surely; The Tables stood full crown'd with Dishes, Enough to satisfie all wishes, Of longing Wives, or Maids grown sickly With fruits, and doing nothing quickly; Huge Pots of Butter not full blew, With Custards of a doubtfull hiew; Stewd Prunes, bread made of h 1.34 Malahane, And Honey fetcht from Sugar Cane, Green Apples, plenty of small Nuts, T'imploy the teeth, and gorge the guts; The Goblets proud themselvs to see, So full of Sider (verily) Both Brandy-wine and Aqua-vitae, And Ale in years & strength most mighty, As plentifull as i 1.35 Bonniclabbar, That each Guest his lips might slabbar; Thus with Satiety being crown'd with Bacchus wreaths in slumber drownd The k 1.36 spheres made Musick all the while, The l 1.37 Bard brave Meeter did compile; Then fulgent m 1.38 Phoebus standing up, (In's greasie fist, a greasier Cup)

Drank Daphnes health, Bacchus reply'd And qnafft another to the Bride Of Vulcan; this health pass'd along, Mars's Fether wagging mongst the throug Drank Pallas helth (brave wench & wise) Which draught cost n 1.39 Cupid both his eyes Straining to pledg, Hermes stood still, And markt how Ganymede did fill The Bowls, which swiftly past around, Till God and Goddesses had bound o 1.40 Their heads with Ivy-leavs and Vines, His head to his knee, now each inclines; p 1.41 Apollo then slipt thence half drunk, His burning Bonnet dofft he sunk In Thetis lap, so Heaven lost light, And day was dampt with irksom night; q 1.42 Jove bent for mirth, bad Juno spread Her mantle ore the Worlds black head, But r 1.43 she inrag'd with Lyeus Juice, And madly jealous without' scuse, Refus'd to guild th'unspangled Skie, With the eyes of her Cow-keeping Spie, s 1.44 And aided by a vigorous Fate And the shrewd Goddesses, Joves state She durst assume, pressing as farre As th'Gyants in their mountain Warre, They first bound Jove, the other Gods, (Constrain'd by darknes, drink and odds,

Alas) were forc'd to condescend To all things for a quiet end: t 1.45 Jove granted Juno rule oth' Ayre, Her frowns or smiles mak't foul or faire; His Bolts and Lightning she may take, And with her tongue the Ax-tree shake; From hence her Sex their Charter hold, To rule 'gainst reason, cry and scold: Proserpina obtain'd of Pluto, That all should speed who she-saints sue to, That mans affairs in purse or state, Should be ruled by the womans rate; Venus may lye with all that love her, No sawcy God must dare reprove her, Dallying with maners, whilst Don Vulcan Should to their pleasures drink a full Can•• Thus by the stern decree of Fate, Our Ile's an Amazonian State.

This Drollericall Poem mightily augmented our Champions mirth, who (as the fashion is for most great ones) was ever delighted with what his capacity most condemn'd, as soa∣ring too high for the frail sight of Amphibion-like Genius, * 1.46 but such great spirits as that of Champions move not by Pedantick Statutes, for their actions, though excentrick, il∣lustrates

the cause, and Priscians pate receives honourable wounds, when they please to pummel his skull, but Morba the Champions Hostess is al∣most in as bad a condition as if she had swallowed purging Confects, ca∣sting up a very fair account ere the Champion * 1.47 could call for his reck∣ning, so that six hands were not suf∣ficient to convey her to her Cowch: The night now was more then half spent, Baron Tell-clock had twice sounded Boot-esel to our Worthy; and the busie Bell-man bounced twice at the door, and as well the Champion as Soto began to grow dormious, which occasioned the Host to petition their present departure to bed, which (with heavie heads heaven knows) they went to; yet maugre his pesti∣ferous Ebriety, magnanimous Zara forgot not to have his Mace, and o∣ther Military Utensils conveyed into his Chamber (a Receptacle just five foot Diameter) where that night himself and Soto must make their a∣bode on a Canvass Quilt stuffed with the richest Rye-straw, their Sheets of a duskish kind of Flannel.

CHAP. III.

What hapned to Don Zara in the night. His Host brings in his Bill of Fare. The manner of the Champions de∣parture, with other accidents.

WHole Warrens of starv'd Fleas, that bit like Ban-dogs (which you will say was strange, considering their somniferous Ale-bury) the Champion and his fidelious Land∣loper Soto, that they thought them∣selvs delivered over to the disposall of Demogorgons diminutive Daemons, insomuch that the Champion grew unspeakably inraged, especially since he was out raged by an enemy whose existence pleaded a protection from the violence of either Sword or Mace, which causeth him thus to com∣plain:

O ye powers celestiall (quoth he) * 1.48 that powre down plagues at your pleasures on pervicatious mankind;

what crime greater then that of * 1.49 At∣reus have I committed, that my body is thus baited by the basest of worms? Rather ye mighty Powers, who have indewed me with Achillean Valour, and Herculean strength; let my blood be drill'd by the mightiest and most Noble Champion in the world; or∣der me the overthrow of Ottaman, to pull down the pride of Persia, or to ruine the Russian Tyrant.

With these and the like complaints our distressed Champion spent the most part of the dolesom night, but finding it all in vain to bewail a help∣less ill, he resolved to bear his biting Fate with as much magnanimity as was possible, and so defying the ea∣gerness of those sanguine-coated Aes∣trums, he waited with incredible pa∣tience the approach of the Suns Po∣stillion, but was beguiled of that * 1.50 honour he hoped, for a sud∣dain drowsiness stuprated his senses, and he slept as soundly as Adam when his fide was opened to find out that Rib of Ruine; so that the Sun had tra∣vail'd almost a thousand miles ere he

opened the windows of his eyes, by which time Soto (the very Emblem of an earnest zeal, and the meer mitho∣logie of masculine love) was currying of his Masters Courser, and polishing his Armour with pretious Vulcanian dust; the Champion awaking, soon impoverished his bed to inrich his body, seating himself in his last nights tipling Tenement; nor must Fame forget to relate this (as an especiall and infalible argument of our Cham∣pions incomparable candour) that though his skarifi'd skin would hard¦ly permit his shirt its wonted famili∣arity, * 1.51 yet he took not the least no∣tice of his last nights cruel sufferance, but with a chearfull voyce accosting his Host and Hostess, he bestowed on them a Complement consonant to the time of the day, commanding a Toast (in folio) to be forthwith made, the steeple Bowle to be repleated with Roping Ale, and (if possible) the powder of Nutmeg to be put therein; all which being perform'd with won∣drous celerity, the Champion drank his noones draught, and appointed Soto the same Doce, who by this time

had finisht his morning imployment, and waited at his Masters elbow, who (whether by the malignant influence of some petulant Planet, or else vexed at the villany of his last nights bed∣fellows) was exceeding sad and Sa∣turnine, often starting, and somtimes with an irefull Aspect, laying his hand upon his Sword, to the amaze∣ment of his Host and Hostess; but Soto (who was intimately acquainted with these (seeming) strangers, and could learnedly Comment on the complexion of his Masters soule at such times as these) knew very well that these passions proceeded from no other cause, but that innate Antipa∣thy between his Masters purse, and the proditory of a Reckning, which his * 1.52 Host (the legitimate child of Mammon, and Madam Avaritia) had just now wounded his eyes with, the Champion (as not knowing its im∣portment) accepted it, and (as his manner was upon all like occasions) gave it Soto, commanding him to read it; Soto receives it as a needy Gallant would his Taylors Bill, his counte∣nance as pale as a Countrey Gentle∣womans,

viewing the Lions at first time; it was written in very legible Characters, and ushered with this termagant Title.

A Bill of Fare.

• Imprimis, Six Black Puddings, each of them a full yard in longitude.
• Item, Five Loaves of the best Barley∣bread.
• Item, An Oxe head baked after the Franconian fashion.
• Item, Seven pound of the best Essexian Cheese, sawed in sunder on purpose for the Champions eating.
• Item, A Gallon of Mares Milk thick∣ned with Meal.
• Item, Nine Stanes of Lanted Ale.
• The Lodging, large Toasts, and other Appendixes not accounted.

Soto sang these blanck Verses in a very feeble tone, and having finished, threw the paper into the fire with such fury, as sufficiently expressed how angry he was that his Masters eares should be molested with such muddy Sarcasms, which act of his put the Host and Hostess upon the tenters,

especially when gazing upon the Champion they beheld him foam like some incensed Boar, a pallid Light∣ning leapt from his eyes, and ill-por∣tending Meteors hung upon his front so that he seemed the very picture of Doomesday; but while all stood trembling, or rather wishing an im∣mediate then lingring death, the Champion thundred out this men∣nace.

But that thy Stars never ordained thee, thou man of Motley, as a fit mor∣sell for my renowned Kill-za-Cow to manducate, I would presently slice thee into steaks, and broil thee upon thy own Grydiron; hast thou a mind to have thy Fabrick fired in so many places, that all the Ale thou art Ma∣ster of shall not be able to quench it, till it lye (like another Troy burnt by me (Zara) greater then the greatest of Grecians) low in its own ruines? hast thou a will to have thy barrell heads beaten out, thy brittle Vessels broken against the walls, and thy wife led captive in Ovant Triumph.

This funguos Inflation operated so vigorously, that aswell Morba as her husband ••ell at the Champions feet, imploring remission, as not imagi∣ning his displeasure: The Heroick Don graciously granted their Petiti∣on, not onely pronouncing their par∣don, but affording his hand in order to their elevation; but withall, war∣ned them to take heed for the future, how they tempted the rigour of Fate by a pecuniary proposall to a Knight Errant; this the poor penitent swore to; which done, our Champion hanged on his Harness, mounting his good steed with a Majestick nod took farewell of his Host and Hostess, who seemingly afforded him a Princely Valediction, but in heart wished him in Procustes bed, or Perillus brazen Bull.

CHAP. IV.

The Description of a fine, fragrant, flowery Vale, supposed to be the place where Adam tasted the Apple. The mar∣riage of the Phoenix with the Bird of Paradise; her disloyalty, and his Tra∣gedy. Don Zara's heroick hope.

FOrtune having allotted so favou∣rable a departure to her dear Don he was not onely animated for after performances, but exceedingly plea∣sed with his own perfections, which had not onely crammed his colon, but administred instruction to the barbarous, how to bear themselves to true enobled Personages: Soto was as bonny as a new Beneficed Priest, and ran by his Masters Horse as he had bin ballasted with Quick-silver. The all∣seeing Sun had travell'd more then half way to the Antipodes, when the Champion lighted upon a * 1.53 Vale, so

rich and so rare, that Nature grew Bankrupt when she modelized it, and striving to be quaint (forsooth) for∣got to keep any reserve; for by this work the Champion assured himself that she could make no more such; This goodly Plain was imbost with the choicest of Natures Jems; no frost nor winter there, but continuall Spring time, and everlasting Summer; here grow those happy Trees from whence flowes that precious Oyle wherewith Kings and Priests are A∣nointed; the choycest Fruit that Eu∣rope affords with such toyle to the Husbandman, are here to be had un∣planted; Here Madam Flora gathers her Roses and Tulips, when we (alas) have not so much as a Dasie to deck her head with; Here Medea pickt those Simples that restored the wise Aeson to youth; And here (that the World may no longer be deceived) it is that the Phoenix builds his Nest, be∣ing ever distinguished by his meniall Train, which are these:

• The Pe-hen,
• The Turkey-hen,
• The Turtle,
• The Gold-finch,
• ...

• The Pheasant,
• The Popinjay
• The Canary, and
• The Nighting••••••.

These are the Phoenix his Favou∣rites, who travail with him through the Ayre upon all occasions, but he never passes the limits of this Tempe, as holding all other parts of the Globe not worth his visit: Some Authors (perhaps Pliny or Solinus) re∣port, that the Phoenix had espoused the Bird of Paradise, his Bride was fair, and rare, and rich, and young, and wise, and noble, only her * 1.54 Tayl is too ponderous for her body; this noble pair dwelt not long in peace, for loves fire began to s••ake and coole * 1.55 ere the unconstant Moon had twice lookt upon the foodfull earth with half a face; she now began to hate and loath what she once so coveted, yet to * 1.56 over-spread her had been no Herculean labour, had her insatiate Tayl and mind admitted of consci∣entious bounds; but thus;

• ...* 1.57 The weakest stomacks desire the strongest meats.
• ...Thus the greatest smoke rises from the smallest fire.
• ...

• ... Thus slender wits undertake the profoundest matter.
• ...Thus swift pursuit makes a slow performance.
• ...Thus the Arpetite is moved by impotence.
• Thus Palmerin the Champion ore∣threw the Gyant Franarco.

So she though little her self, loved every * 1.58 great thing, and at last became so incorrigible impudent, that she durst mention a Divorce, although the Phoenix with tears besought the contrary, not so much out of affecti∣on to her, as to prevent the shame that must inevitably follow such a bufi∣ness, but all his perswasions were in vain, a seperation is made, and she is married to Cynosure, an unknowne fowle, both begot and bred by the Ayre. he (according to kind) trod incessantly * 1.59 firing his own Fabrick to quench hers, who laid often, but yet they were but Wind Eggs, though some * 1.60 Naturallists say, that such Egs do hatch the Cockatrice.

How sad the Phoenix was in mind? how sorry to be so slighted by her for

whose sake he had so debased himself I leave to those that have been Phoe∣nixes to judge; but so mightily he took it to heart, that now (too late) he resolved to hate all second mat∣ches, and to dye a Widdower; but grief perplexed him so, that he feared he should leave the world, ere he had created himself anew, and so his nest being unmade, he might quickly lose both life and name; to prevent which he takes his speedy flight over hills and Dales, Lakes and Rivers, over Kingdoms and Countries, both East and West, and all this to gather Spi∣ces for his Funerall (O * 1.61 sweet Bird! how sad was thy Fate?) But it seem∣ed better to him (according to his pristine priviledge) to kill his body, and renew his mind, then to pine a∣way with grief six hundred years, and therefore (having betaken himself to his Nest) surrounded with his preci∣ous Gums and odoriferous Spices, the Sun shining bright and hot, he with his wings augmented the heat, whose strong Retention kindled his Bed, as Boyes do dryed leavs with Burning∣glasses, which soon consumed his nest himself, and all to ashes.

And least all these sweets should want as sweet a harmony, a numerous troop of Nightingales conspired in one consort, to warble forth the deli∣cacies of their abode, amid this Vale their glided a silver Brook, so gently, that the subtillest eye might gaze ve∣ry strictly, and not perceive it, on whose violet bancks grew thick Cy∣press trees, to keep out Phoebus beams; Here Pan and Faunus, the Dapper Dri∣••des, with Madam Marisco, Queen of Fairies used to dance the Morris by Moon-light; the bottom of this a∣zure * 1.62 Rivulet was paved with Pearls and Diamonds, which varied their gloss as the gentle breath of Zephire, purled the surface of the stream, and presenting to the eye (like a steele Glass) the spangled beauties of the Firmament; Dolphins usually deser∣ted the Ocean, to sport in this Pacto∣lian Fountain: Our Champion ex∣ceedingly rejoyced, that so happy a harbour proffered it self for his re∣pose; As also, that there was, now, a fair, probability of some remarka∣ble Adventure; and therefore clap∣ping Soto on the shoulder, Com〈…〉〈…〉

(quoth he) with Roman-like cou∣rage, for the Gods, I hope, have ap∣pointed me some hungry Lion, or gag-toothed Bear, some deformed Gyant, or male-contented Knight to encounter with here in this Flowery Valley; So putting spurres to his Horse, like another Alexander on Bu∣cephalus, he made his way into the very entrails of the Grove, at whose dreadfull approach, Syluanus and his shaggy crew fled amaine, and were soon out of sight, to the Champions extream discontent, who would fain have been belabouring any thing that had life; but the * 1.63 pleasure of the place soon calmed his spit-fire con∣templations, so that he unlaced his Helmet, and unharnessed himself, ly∣ing down at the root of an Almond∣tree, where (having been kept waking by malignant Fleas almost all the night before) he so on became slave to Somnus, the pratling Brook in a plea∣sing tone chaunting a Dulced Lul∣labie.

CHAP. V.

What Discoveries Zara and his Squire made, wandring up and down the Grove. The Lady Gylo comming thither to dis∣port her self, is encountred by the Cham∣pion. His most elegant Courtship. Her Responsion. With other pass••ges.

THrice happy ZARA, who art thought worthy of that Paradise which the first man forfeited for an Apple; But while the Champion slept, Soto (being surprized with the beauty of the place) was ranging up and down to make discoveries, here Potatoes & ripe Grapes offered them∣selvs to his lips, there Pomgranates and luscious Dates contended which first should salute his goodly-siz'd grinders; Soto was not nice in accep∣tation, but gathered greedily of all sorts, returning laden to his mag∣nanimous Lord and Master, who

snorted so lowd on his Rosie Cowch, that the verdant Grove reverberated his garulous repose, while Soto sang this Dormitory.

SONG.

SOmnus, O thou Protean God, That with woollen shooes art shod, Thou that hatest Trump and Drum, Loath'st the Cock, but lov'st the Combe: Grand enemies to Fifes and Forges, And the Daughters of Boanerges; Friend to Fishes and to dumb men, To silent women and to some men. great God of C••••s, of nods and naps, Clumzey Somnus now prepare-a, To rock the senses of Don Zara.

Soto had no sooner ended his Epi∣diction, but the Champions scales fell from his eyes, and he perceived his faithfull servant sitting at his feet, having prepared a Repast after his Repose; the Champion fed furiously on the Grapes, squeezing bunches of them by the dozen, as if he had search•• for * 1.64 Erigone, and now being suffici∣ently sated, he arose with a resolve

to explore for flesh, either Goat o•• Stag, but Nature had not played he•• paat so profusely, and indeed she had manifested a prodigious prodigallity, had she afforded a Shambles to her Fruiterie: The Champion and Sot•• had not long qu••sted, but they hap∣ned on a spacious Cave, scituate at the foot of a Cedar, it was a very vast Receptacle, seeming the work of som Sylvan, or Wood-god, for a Noctur∣nall Repository; Soto was first sensi∣ble of the novelty, and gave informa∣tion thereof to his Master, who com∣manded him forthwith to enter, but Soto gave a modest negation to his Masters mandate; for, quoth he, who knows but this may be the Mansion of that Genius which governs this goodly Grot, who being justly incen∣sed at such an intrusion, may meta∣morphose us into Mapl••s, or some more sordid sort of F••well: Thou speakest well, quoth Zara, but (that thou mayst know thou serv••st a Ma∣ster, whose courage is not a whit in∣feriour to the stoutest Champion that ever bore Buckler) I am resolved to enter this Cave were it wall'd wit••

Dragons, and inhabited with De∣mons; so unsheathing Kill-za-Cow, he resolutely leapt into the Cave, ex∣amining every angle therof, he found it a fit residence for an Errant Knight, yea, and a Lady Errant if occasion commanded it; in all respects most resembling that very Vault which Jo∣seph the son of Goron possessed, when that venerable Quack sold his Bre∣threns lives (by a Sortiligie) to save his own: Having taken strict notice of its Dimensions, he called Soto to the Caves mouth; Enter, quoth he, (thou sperm of a hen-harted Groom) and make it thy wonder, to survey what a subteranean shelter Fate has allotted us: Soto (though shaken with an Ague fit) confidently enter'd, and seeing no occasion of dread, took heart of grace, insomuch that he hard∣ly refrained upbraid his Master, as guilty of calumny in down-right terms; * 1.65 My Lord, quoth he, you are too much an Heretick, if you think your Soto refused to cast himself into this Cave out of any anxious cogita∣tion as to his person, for had it been the very throat of Tartarus, the gullet

of Gehenna, or the belly of Barathrum, his courage had afforded him a will to any attempt, though supetnatural, especially having the great Hercules for precedent, who forced the very Fiends to a compliance, & * 1.66 brought away Pluto's three-headed Porter; the truth is, it was my piety that perswa∣ded me to forbearance; I have read Sir those Lay Divines, Homer, Hesiod, and Theocritus, and do believe with them, that * 1.67 every Grove, Grot, and Stream has its tutelar and vehicular Deity; but these obscurities (my Lord) are too deep for your reason, you must sit down with a description, Periphrasis, o•• Adumbration; I say, had it not been impious for me to have rashly rushed upon the Genius of the place: ••rithee no more, quoth the Champion, these Puntillors befi•• not my observation, let feeble-soul'd Doradoes listen to such effeminate Axi∣omes, I am the Rod of Heaven, a man made to let Mortals know how much that fear'd thing may be indebted to my self, the great and true Amphi∣pium; for thee (Soto) I do not much wonder at thy fear, though I hope

thy converse with me, together with thy strict observation of my Actions, wil render thee after som few months sufficiently Heroick; Having said thus, he deserted the Cave (with a resolve to rest there that night) and returned to the place where he lately both slept and eat, neer which he be∣held the Thunder-crested Founder-foot feeding almost to a * 1.68 surfeit on the sweet and verdant Grass, which that plat of ground afforded of an incre∣dible height; Here arrived, he and Soto sat down, resolved to encounter with a second Collation, when they beheld a woman (an infallible Argu∣ment, that she was none of the soun∣dest Polititians) plucking Pomgra∣nates, and ripe Oranges, which grew there in abundance; Soto supposed that some new Minerva was dropt from Heaven, or another Venus newly born of the brackish waves, had cho∣sen this Grove as the most pertinent place of Aetheriall Delectation; she was cloathed in a rich and sparkling kind of stuffe, woven by * 1.69 Arach••es fingers, of the finest Calidonian Silk, buttoned before with green Eme∣raulds,

yet not so close but that those hills of snow, her immaculate breasts were visible, ••urking under the shad∣dow of Lawn; that Globe of blisses her head was covered with a Tyre of green Sarcenet, fringed with blew Flanders Lace, studded with Bristoll Saphyres, which (could it be possible) augmented the lustre of her heavenly face, so that she seemed like another * 1.70 Aphrodite finifi'd for the imbraces of Adonis, or a second Helen proud of the lime-hound Paris: The Champion (though otherwise too tough for such tender Creatures, having been train'd up in the School of Mars, and not of Cyprides) melted before the eyes of this Sunny substance, waxing * 1.71 proud beneath the navell, and in a minute was moulded into a perfect ••••amorate; Soto felt the same flames about his heart, but durst not mani∣fest the itching of his soul; our Cham∣pion a long time feasted his eys with∣out speaking (resembling the Statue of Mark Anthony gazing on the beau∣teous Idea of Cleopatra) remaining as it were extaside.

Such is thy force, O mighty Cupid, Thou canst make Mortalls dull and stupid, And when thy Tyrant pleasure varies, Dick is all fire, and Tom all Ayre is; From the Flayle unto the Miter, From the Galeon to the Liter; From the Stall unto the Stye, Are thy Trophies rais'd on hye.

But at length recollecting himself, he commanded Soto to make up to the Lady, and to Complement her in his name: Sir (quoth Soto) under your correction, I think it would make more for your Honour, and pre∣dict a surer Accomplishment of your wishes, if you accosted her in person, rather then by Proxey; The Champion could not withstand this Oraculous Incitement; And therefore willing SOTO to wait upon him in the most Ceremonious posture that could be thought on; hee hasted to the place where this Piece of Divine perfection resided, who seeing (as shee thought) a couple of Champions drawing neer her, began to flie, as in a wild amaze∣ment,

but the Knights * 1.72 courteous comportment perswaded her, that harm could not be intended, where such officious zeale was intimated; Fortifi'd with this resolve, she stood still, expecting the Champions ap∣proach, who almost * 1.73 out of breath, could not express himself with that fluent Accuracie, which otherwise he had done; but after some respirati∣on, taking her by that moyst Ada∣mant, her Lilly-white hand, he de∣livered himself very volubly, Thus;

Most fair and beauteous Lady, whose eyes are the Sun and Moon of the Earth, whose face, whose fore∣head, whose lip, whose hair, whose mouth, whose hand, and whose all, pronounces all other of your Sex, but meer dashes, stroaks, a la vole••, or at randome, that face was not formed for any beneath the degree of a knight Errant to kneel to that lip (most fair Venus) was not Vermillion'd o∣ver for any to kiss, that cannot boast the spoils of War, & the Trophies of Victory; Behold (Natures best Piece) where Don Zara (whom Kings have kneel'd to for their lives, and Queens

obsicrated as pensive Lovers) pro∣strates his Horse, Armour, Sword, Mace, Shield, Servant, and Self at your bright feet, imploring what the most resplendent beauties on earth * 1.74 have beg'd of him, it is Love most worshipfull woman that Don Zara im∣plores, without which this soul of his (though to the whole worlds loss, if not ruine) must forsake its mansion, and your self (all too late) repent your coyness, that has destroyed the most fidelious fighting Servitor that ever laid just claime to honourable beauty, and beautifull honour.

Gylo (for so was the Lady called) knew not what Responsion to yield to this facetious Rhodomontado (a Complement not to be paralell'd in any Grubstreet Romance) but at last making most humble ••beysance to our Heroe (with cheeks blushing like Aurora) she answered:

Thrice Noble Sir, your manly fi∣gure, and soul-slaving Oratory, as they command my wonder, so they constraine me to an ingenuous ac∣knowledgement, that I am no way worthy of your notice, whose won∣der-working

Valour merits a Miner∣va for Mistris, and whose copious elo∣cution makes Mercury ashamed of his emptinesse; but if the candour of my Starres allot me so bounteous a blisse, that your honoured self shall think I deserve your commands, yonder Mansion made of Marble is my abode, and in the bowels of that room ador∣ned with a Balconey do I constantly cover my self.

Gylo had no sooner uttered this, but lowting low, she and her Maid forsook the place, leaving the Cham∣pion and his Servitour in much a∣mazement.

CHAP. VI.

Zara murthers a monstrous Bear, who assaulted him in the Cave: He playes and sings beneath the Lady Gylos cham∣ber Window, and receives a very luckie return of his Love.

JOy and wonder (like two opposite winds disturbing the already di∣stracted * 1.75 Ocean) strove for Supremacy in our Champion; on the one side the Ladies worthiness, on the other side her coyness palsied her brain, so that he remained for a time as one * 1.76 trans-elemented.

Such is thy power, O Love, such is thy might, When thou surprizest any Mortall Wight; Whether Orlando Smith, or Oswald Clinker, Whether the Great Turk, or the brass-fac'd Tinker;

Thou mouldest him anew in every part, And for a pint of Mirth, reckon'st a Quart Of Sorrow, making a most grievous puther; A Pox upon thee, and thy Sea-born Mother.

Soto a long time observed his Lord with a serious look; but perceiving, that he cared not to put a period to this excruciating extasie, he burst out into a hearty laughter, saying, * 1.77 Cu∣pids Arrows (I perceive) can pierce the strongest Armour, and supple the most sternest soul, * 1.78 as those are the most killing griefs that dare not speak, so (no doubt) those are the most ineffable joyes, that cannot gain utterance: Rejoyce, my Lord, and sing Paeans to the pretty little God, who has thus courteously awarded you: You are the wittiest and best of Servitors, answered ZARA, O I could dye upon her * 1.79 Spot, and venture life, or otherwise do more for her dear sake then those famous

Palladines, who were Kinsmen to mad Rowland; Hercules Labours were but á Bakers dozen, mine shall puzzle A∣rithmetick truly to compute them: She is indeed (quoth Soto) the Meta∣physicks of her Sex, the very Rule of Algebra; you are the Jove that must press this Laeda, the Endymion, that are beloved by this Cynthia, and the An∣chyses that must enjoy this Venus: I know it (quoth Zara) for didst thou not observe how her colour went and came all the time that I was courting her; and though I say it (that should not) I never in all my life had the happiness of more fluency on so short a warning: Hermes himself (quoth Soto) could not have handled his bu∣siness better; but Sir, take it from me, * 1.80 He that has a woman by the waste, has a wet E••le by the tayle; And they hate delayes as much as they abominate debility: What wouldst thou have me to do (quoth the Don?) shal we pre∣sently visit her; not so soon Sir, quoth Soto, you know that providence has provided us a place of rest, you may well waste this night in contemplati∣on of her Excellencies, and to mor∣row,

ere the fleet hours shall have har∣nessed Phoebus fiery Horses, we will bid her Bonjour at her Balconey, by which time (if the Muses favour me) we will be provided with an amorous Canticle, Rivall to best of * 1.81 Petrarchs, Sidney, or Ronfard, onely the Alcean Lyre will be wanting, but that our Voyces shall supply, (* 1.82 for the silent, note which Cupid strikes, is far swee∣ter then the sound of any Instrument) celebrating her beauty, and inciting to the Paphian pleasure. Thou art my better Genius, quoth Zara, and shalt share my Fortunes, this was ex∣cellently well thought on, and can∣not but exceedingly take.

Approach thou silent Night, mother of Rapes, And dreary ruine, friend to Owles and Apes, Fly, fly, ye winged hours with eager motion, And bring the chearfull day from forth the Ocean, Father of life and light, when thou appearest, I'le take my rise, resorting to my dearest.

I have often heard (quoth Soto) that Love can inspire the most insipid; now I have proofe my Lord, that you are a very Lover, witness this polite Poeticall passion, but the Night-Ra∣••en (Sir) has chanted her Vespers, and Madam Nox has already hung her curtain over the Hemisphere, let us convey our selvs to our Concave, quoth Zara, and summon Somnus to a peacefull parley: I have, said Soto, furnished our Pavillion with a bed of the best Moss, and the trunk of an Al∣der tree for a pillow: Thou art in all things excellent, quoth Zara; but now for the contrivance of our Ode: Let me alone for that, quoth Soto, Ile kick the Mount to Attoms, swill up * 1.83 Hellicon, ravish the Nine, and break Apollo's Fiddle about his pate, but Ile Rant in most magnificent Miter; Ile warrant the Lady is your own, if (which we have cause to guess) she be one of Minerva's Maids of Honour: This said, they departed to their hol∣lowed Mansion, and taking their Cowch, on a sudden became speech∣less, when Fortune, the professed ene∣my to worth, appointed them a very

dangerous Adventure, for the flye Sergeant Morpheus had no sooner ar∣rested their sences, but the proper owner of the place, a Bear as black as blackness it self, as fell as an Hyrca∣nian Tyger, entered the Cave (as was her wonted guize) with a resolve to rest her self there that night, but find∣ing uncouth Inmates, she gave so Ioud a roar, that the Grove ecchoed the Thunder of her throat; This yelling Allarum soon beat up the Champi∣ons Quarters, and he awaked in much distraction, giving Soto (though acci∣dentally) so sound〈…〉〈…〉. on the brest with his * 1.84 foot, that he cryed out as he had bin broke on the wheel; by this time the Bear had bitten our Champion quite thorow the calfe of his left leg, which made him roar more audibly then this beast of prey enter∣ing the Cave: Soto mean time (like a hardy Squire) strenuously assaulted this wild creature with his Javelin, but found his hide too tough for pe∣netration, and such was the mockery of Fate, that the Champion had not opportunity to unsheath his Sword, so that his face was scratched and sca∣ri••i'd,

as his leg was bruiz'd and wounded, no quarter from head to foot was free; was it not time then for the Champion and Soto to lay a∣bout them, for this hairy Monster fought not to gain honour, but to al∣lay hunger.

Ah Zara, Zara, had I my wish, some * 1.85 God should turn thee into a Sheep, or Goat, nay rather then sail into an Ass, to escape this vile visitation, then thus be taken like a tame Beast in thy own Den.

Yet at last despight of Destiny he forced out Kit-za-Cow, and with one single thrust pierc't through the skin ribs, and riff of this sawcie Savage, cleaving her heart who giving a deep groan, becam exanimate: This Con∣quest being so happily atchieved, the Champion (with Soto's aide) disbur∣thened the Cave of this rough crea∣ture, whose length (by London mea∣sure) was no less then six yards, and whose head the Cpampion immediat∣ly severed from the unwieldy Trunk, hanging it on the top branch of a Beech Tree, as a Trophey consecrate

to Nemesis and Astrea, ingraving this Distich about the Bole.

Apollo, Python sl••w, which was no Bear-a, The Monster own'd this head, was slain by Zara.

But the wounds and scratches late∣ly received, were not so irksome to our Champion, as the sorrow he un∣derwent to be maimed at such a time by this beast of Mars, when he had wholly devoted himself to Venus, yet such was the ardency of his affection, that * 1.86 he resolv'd to visit his Mistris with the morning;

O true and unparalell'd Amorist, worthy the Pen of another Parker! Others if but prickt with Eglantine, or Phlebotomiz'd with the Guardi∣ans of Roses, think themselvs suffici∣ently excused for not doing that De∣voyre to their Mistresses which Cupid commands; but he, though creeping on hand and crupper, will not faile to complement his fair one, and who knows but the compassionate Gods may reward this admirable Ardour,

with the miraculous cure of his wounds, without the aide of Machaon or Podalyrius.

The Olympick powers, said Soto, have manifested their care of your couragious carkass (thrice Noble and redoubted Heroe) in that they guided your good Sword to so home a thrust when in all probability you had been manducated by that Monster, who now remains headless; the fightless Deity does alwayes file their names, whom he thinks worthy to wage war under his Banner with blood; But I too long neglect to apply some hea∣ling herb to your yawning wound: Having said this, Soto arose, and sear∣ching about the Grove for some * 1.87 sa∣nitating Simple; he at last lighted upon that (Hell-envied, Heaven-guar∣ded) weed, called * 1.88 Morsus Diaboli, which he gently cropped, chaunting a Canticle to Tellus, and resorting to his maimed Master, squeezed the juice thereof into his wound, and then ap∣plying the leaf it self, bound it about with the rind of a Mulberry Plant, which gave him present ease, and oc∣casioned his Benizon on solicitous

Soto: By this time Aurora was visible in the East, clad in her purple Robe; Aeous began to shake his fiery Main, neighing so loud, that Sol (* 1.89 who had slept with Thetis all that night) sate upright in his watry bed, and after a yawn or two, took his scourge in his hand; the Champion and Soto there∣for immediately set forward on their amorous enterprize, and were under the Balconey, where our war-like Le∣ander expected his Lilly-handed Hero ere the Sun was warm in his Throne; for some minutes they diligently list∣ned if they might hear any body sti••, but neither jarre of Clock, nor the hoarce hum of any drowzie Groom to be heard, all things buried in so profound a silence, as if the God of dreams had here pit〈…〉〈…〉 his Pavillion. Begin the Hymn, quoth Zara, the Canzonet that must give my Goddess the Alar〈…〉〈…〉 of love, my self will help to bear the burthen; then Soto having opened his Organ pipes with a Pega∣sian hem, began to warble the fol∣lowing Song:

SONG.

1.

ARise thou true Aurora from thy East, too long (good faith) thou keepst thy nest Zara's no Incubus, Nor thou a lazy Sus, That thou art tardy thus, thy Champions reddy with his spear in rest Ambo. Then let the turn-pikes on my chin, Take thy half-Moon Fortress in.

2.

Cupid (alas) does suck my best blood out, I drop at heart as old wives drop at snout, No Brescian Bear loves honey, Or down-chin'd Miser money, Better then I thy Con—. appear, bright saint, and cure my amorous Gowt. And let the turn-pikes, &c.

3.

Love has not onely drove his Peg Through my heart, but through my leg, After such dire assault, Here do I make a halt, for I was n're yet shun'd by Doll or Meg. Let then the Turn-pikes, &c.

4.

Though (Mars appointing so) I'm fram'd of Iron, And that strong barrs of steel my flesh in∣viron, Though strung with stubborn wire, I melt in thy Coal-fire, Cupids strong Cu••rasiere I am, then glorious Girl put thy Attire on. Then let the Turn-pikes, &c.

5.

Be thou my Sea-born Venus, I will be Thy Mars, thy Vulcan (I go limpingly) Let me view thy silken Dog, (Able to vanquish Gogmagog,) I'le be thy Ape, be thou my clog, to love, and not be lov'd, is misery. Then let the Turn-pikes, &c.

6.

Let's laugh, and leave this world behind, And procreate till we are blind, That Gods may view, With a Dildo-doe, What we bake, and what we brew, yet our intrinsick fervour never find. Then let the turn-pikes on my chin, Take thy half-Moon Fortress in.

They had no sooner finished their Ditty, but behold Madam Gylo (appa∣relled in a loose vestment, her haire bound up in a carnation Cawl, which excellently became her) appeared (like another Juliet ready to receive her beloved Romeo) on the Battle∣ments, bearing in her hand a Pewter Vessel, containing the quantity of a∣bout three quarts of that (which like the Spider, she had extracted from her own bowels) she had on purpose procured for our Champions recep∣tion, and it appears (* 1.90 if there be any truth in Tradition) it was the Ladies Ordure to precipitate any excremen∣tious substance from that very win∣dow: The Champion and Soto great∣ly rejoyced to see this morning Star irradiate that Horizon, but were soon returned to their quondam dejection, when they found their eares unguen∣ted with warm water, well lanted with a viscuous ••ngredient; the La∣dy having accomplished her Atchiev∣men, returned to her place of rest, leaving Zara and Soto in the wildest wonder; nor let any (seeming) So∣lon tax their extasie, for even Alcides

or Achilles had been the same sad ones, had Briseis or Omphale practised the like Complement; but after they had a long time busied their (new wrunced) eyes with gazing one upon another, like men dropt from the Clouds, and perceiving the Lady had left them, without probability of re∣turn, they (without speaking one to another, so vast was their amaze∣ment) retired to their Grove, their faces full of the ostents of shame and dolour.

End of the First Book.

Notes

• * 1.1

  See the le∣gend of Don Sordido Knight of the Driping pan, written by the Au∣thor of Cas∣s••ndra.
• * 1.2

  Don Zara descended of the stock of Kings, see Cambd. Avisoe.
• * 1.3

  For it was the custom of the Knights of that age to wear no shirts.
• * 1.4

  This is spoken with all reverenc to Antiqui∣ty, which we ought lightly to question.
• * 1.5

  This needs no clavis.
• * 1.6

  Whether by Vandike or Hilliard, is not cer∣tainly known.
• * 1.7

  Two ex∣cellent for∣gers.
• * 1.8

  Aenigma∣tically, in∣timating, that he ca∣red not a fig for the stoutest an∣tagonist.
• * 1.9

  This kind of weapon the old Ro∣mans term∣ed a pile; the Arabi∣ans that bor der upon I∣taly a ••ave∣••n; the Brittains a half-pike. See Scaliger de usu clubi∣bus, l. 6. p. 10000:
• * 1.10

  Some may perhaps ga∣ther from hence that our Cham∣p on was a papist or at least papi∣stically in∣clined, but they ought to know that their opinion is no way war∣ranted by Antiquity.
• * 1.11

  Centred and centu∣pled, mean∣ing hid and hundrifide.
• * 1.12

  By this it appeares that his heart was hollow:
• * 1.13

  Stentor was a Gre∣cian Cryer of the court to K. Aga memnon. Homer Illi.
• * 1.14

  Trim tram, &c.
• * 1.15

  This was somthing too mean a recep tacle for so accomplished ••n Heroe.
• * 1.16

  Called in old time a red Lettice, the signal of something that tends to good-fellow∣ship. See Causabon de structuribus & liquoribus, lib. 90.
• * 1.17

  That very Lucius An∣neus Seneca, who wrot of temperance and Forti∣tude, yet livd like an effe∣minate Epi∣cure, and dyed like a pusilanimous Coward.
• * 1.18

  This Ro∣berts sirname was Booker, a maker of Almanacks, he had two handsome daughters & kept a Wine Ale-house. See the En∣glish Chron.
• * 1.19

  Being twelve in all. See Merlinus Anglicus de starribus & ejus mansi∣onibus; tract. 100. p. 10000
• * 1.20

  It were needless to mention thē covering of the Table, or ranking and filing of the dishes.
• * 1.21

  Or Knife,
• * 1.22

  Such is the potent vigor of Ale.
• * 1.23

  Not that he was a Le∣veller, but being of the same humor of som kings, who play at Nine-pins with their Pages, yet thereby nei∣ther subject their persons not their ••owers.
• * 1.24

  Not that he should be condemned to be hangd.
• * 1.25

  Meaning that the An∣gels only are acquainted with the 〈…〉〈…〉pth of that Art.
• * 1.26

  To which he was not invited.
• * 1.27

  a The old Maior.
• b 1.28

  The new Maior.
• * 1.29

  c The Al∣dermen.
• d 1.30

  An old wife.
• e 1.31

  You may smell out the mean∣ing.
• f 1.32

  The Al∣dermens wives.
• g 1.33

  Mistris Maioresse.
• h 1.34

  Bread made of Cruds see the Irish Dictionary.
• i 1.35

  A com∣mon Irish drink. See the Dictio∣nary.
• k 1.36

  Two Fid∣lers and a blind boy with a Bag pipe.
• l 1.37

  Their Poet
• m 1.38

  One of the A〈…〉〈…〉 〈◊〉〈◊〉.
• n 1.39

  The 〈…〉〈…〉d∣lers Boy.
• o 1.40

  They were almost all drunk.
• p 1.41

  The Sun went down.
• q 1.42

  Mr. Maior call'd to his wife for Candles.
• r 1.43

  She was drunk and would none
• s 1.44

  She took Mr. Maior a bo•• on the car.
• t 1.45

  Mistris Maioresse might do what she would.
• * 1.46

  Sentenc••.
• * 1.47

  Which he always o∣mitted, ter∣ming it the Tarnish of his honour.
• * 1.48

  Zara's com∣plaint.
• * 1.49

  Who cof∣fin'd up his Cousins in crust.
• * 1.50

  Mean••••g the Civick Crown which the Ancients ap∣pointed for 〈◊〉〈◊〉 who 〈◊〉〈◊〉 his bad fortunt bravely.
• * 1.51

  Zaras un∣paralell'd Magnani∣mity.
• * 1.52

  A very, very Victu∣••ller.
• * 1.53

  This Vale is not now to be found, but that there was such a place. See Mandevils Geography, lib. 10000. ••••ct. 20000.
• * 1.54

  She took this fault by kind, & ther∣fore was the more excu∣sable.
• * 1.55

  Riddle.
• * 1.56

  Cover her in the origi∣nall.
• * 1.57

  Six golden Sentences borrowed from the 7. Sages of Greece.
• * 1.58

  Though it were long first.
• * 1.59

  Had al spice of the French
• * 1.60

  See Co〈…〉〈…〉 and Poet Quid.
• * 1.61

  The Au∣thor laments the deplora∣ble condition of the Phoe∣nix.
• * 1.62

  Who knows 〈◊〉〈◊〉 this was 〈◊〉〈◊〉 very Ta•••••• or Pactolus so famous in Po••si••,
• * 1.63

  〈◊〉〈◊〉 H••••∣nib••l was caught with the delic••∣cies of 〈◊〉〈◊〉.
• * 1.64

  Bacchus his beloved a plump brown Nymph. See Cardan de ••••btilitate••.
• * 1.65

  Soto his Apologie.
• * 1.66

  An. Mun. 75••9.
• * 1.67

  Witnes•• the Aqu••∣tick and Te restiall An∣gel••.
• * 1.68

  Not but that the Champion•• Horse was of a mode∣rate temper, but this is spoken by a figure, cal∣led Aequo, intimating what might have hap∣ned to a more luxu∣riant Pal∣fray.
• * 1.69

  An emi∣nent Spin∣ster.
• * 1.70

  A Venetia•• Cou••teza••.
• * 1.71

  A Disease called the swelling of the ••e••. Se•• ••arnelius & Culpepers ••egaci••.
• * 1.72

  with his Helmet in his hand, and bowing him∣self often to the earth.
• * 1.73

  Being used to ride, not run.
• * 1.74

  Meaning a retalliation of Love. See Cupids Mes∣senger. pag. 10000.
• * 1.75

  Simile.
• * 1.76

  Meaning transmogra∣fide, or me∣morphosed into a Man∣drake.
• * 1.77

  Sentenc••
• * 1.78

  Sentence upon sentenc inserted by the Author, meerly for the solace of the sage.
• * 1.79

  Meaning some pri〈…〉〈…〉 mark.
• * 1.80

  An Axiome borrowed of Cato.
• * 1.81

  A most excellent Italian Bal∣lad-maker.
• * 1.82

  See Tom Dales A∣phorisme, Tome 9 sect 12. Apho. 19.
• * 1.83

  〈◊〉〈◊〉 John 〈…〉〈…〉lands ••••solvs, 〈…〉〈…〉m 2••.
• * 1.84

  Whether his left or right is not certainly known.
• * 1.85

  The pious Author pe∣tifully be∣moans the bad condi∣tion of Za∣ra.
• * 1.86

  Though one of his supporters had been 〈◊〉〈◊〉 o••••∣well sayes the 〈◊〉〈◊〉 Love will 〈◊〉〈◊〉 where it cannot go.
• * 1.87

  For a better un∣derstanding of this 〈◊〉〈◊〉Dr. Trigs Pr〈…〉〈…〉 Pu••∣ril•• p▪ ••0000
• * 1.88

  See Cla∣vels Recan∣tation, pag. 121.
• * 1.89

  By this 〈◊〉〈◊〉 appears that the Sun himself is an ••dulte∣rer. See the Act against Fornication &c.
• * 1.90

  See Alber∣tus Aja••, de Modo Cacan di, Tome 〈◊〉〈◊〉.