Grammatical drollery consisting of poems & songs wherein the rules of the nouns & verbs in the accendence are pleasantly made easy, for the benefit of any that delight in a tract of this nature
Hickes, William, fl. 1671.

A Mock-Song to Beauty.

1.
MY Love is a pretty Lass
As any's in all the Town;
Her Face doth shine like Brass,
And her Skin of a Tawny-brown.
2.
Her Hair's of a lovely red,
With Horsegirt-Ribbands tied,
And hangs about her head
Like Daglocks beautified.
3.
Her Forehead is low and rough,
Just like a pleated Gown;
Her Ears are large and tough,
And always are hanging down.
4.
Her Eyes are sunk full low
Into her pretty head;
From whence a Cream doth flow
That over her face doth spread.
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The one of her Eyes is large,
The other is very small;
Her Mouth it is like a Barge,
For length and breadth and all.
6.
Her Nose of a Scarlet hue,
Well set with Jems about,
And all do appear in view
To adorn her delicate Snout.
7.
Though her Nose and Chin did jar,
Yet now they are perfect friends;
And though at distance were,
Now touch at both the ends.
8.
Her Teeth they are black and blue,
Her Tongue than the Cows more neat;
Her Lips of a silver hue,
And thatcht with Hair compleat.
9.
Her Neck it is thick and short,
Just like our brindled Cow;
And when she sings for sport,
She grunts like our old Sow.
10.
Her Shoulders and Arms are strong,
And both of a lusty growth;
To which her Hands do belong,
That are Shoulders of Mutton both.
11.
Her Back it is high and plump,
That some have her Credit defil'd,
By saying, that above her Rump
She always did seem with Child.
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There's never a Girl in Town
Of her Breasts can make such brags;
For they still are dangling down
Like half-fill'd Pudding-bags.
13.
Of her Hanches she often boasts,
Because they are very fair;
Her Thighs are two Windmil-posts,
So they'd need for the weight they bear.
14.
Her Legs are lovely and great,
Which doth her Credit maintain;
And therefore must needs be neat,
Being born in Crooked-lane.
15.
And now for her pretty Feet,
They can her Arms display;
But to see how her Heels do meet,
Now her Toes are worn away.
16.
Having heard the parts of my Dame,
I now do conclude my Droll;
And having no Toes, her name
Is call'd Stump-footed Moll.