Paradoxical assertions and philosophical problems full of delight and recreation for all ladies and youthful fancies by R.H.

Why Barbars are News-mon∣gers? (Book 21)

Omnibus & lippis notum & Tonsoribus.

IT was the custom, it seems, in Rome, for blinde men having nothing else to do, and idle per∣sons having little else to do, to come to the Bar∣bars shop, as frequently as we do now to the Change, or Burse, Coffy-houses, to hear news. What wonder then is it, if the Barbar amongst us also becomes a Statesman? (For the same custome is still used) when so many Sir Pols, Athe∣nians and lovers of News daily and hourly bring him intelligence? For this cause Actius the South∣sayer, and Tarquins Barbar (as I suppose) who with his Razour would cut a Whestone in too, was ever by Tarquin and the people consulted with in all publique Affairs.

Some have hence disputed, whether a Princes Barbar be not therefore enobled? And Angelus and Iason have both concluded the affirmative, because he sticks so close to the Princes side, being à Secretis, ever alone, and first with him in the Morning.

Why may not our noble Triptolemus then, that can cut an hair in two, be the best News-Monger,

and by consequence, the most cunning Statesman? For tell me: who is more Inquisitive and Cate∣chistical, when you come under his hands, and fit in his Cathedral Chair? Tormenting you with divers impertinent questions oft-times purposely, least you should feel the smart of his Wash-Ball on his Razors wounds? Hath he not therefore his Novel stories at his fingers ends on purpose, as ready as his Customers Nose?

Besides, who hath more to do with News, then he that is so busie ever about the ears? Again, who should be more exact in News, whose shop is the staple of news, where many new faces resort, at least he makes them new before they depart, renewing youth, and refreshing each face he meets with, as new as day?