The art of longevity, or, A diæteticall instition written by Edmund Gayton.
Gayton, Edmund, 1608-1666.
A Diaeteticall INSTITUTION.
WHilest I intend a wholsome Diet-Rule,
And write of Meats and Drinks from Physick-Schoole,
It ought to be presum'd our state is good,
And that we have to buy our daily Food:
For what hath he to do to vex his thought
How he should eat, that hath no victuals bought?
Wherefore we do amand Duke Humphrey's Guest▪
For their Provision truly is o'th' least.
A Dog doth fare much better with his bones,
Than those whose table meat and drink are stones:
But that great Duke is out of house and home,
And his grand Palace is a Den become;
But not so good as is the Lions den,
Or Foxes holes, there's scraps for many men;
There is no Ordinary of News and Talk,
No not so much is left as Weymarks Walk,
No not so much (if you will please to go in)
Doth th' head remain of Welch Cozen Owen;
Who for this violence done unto his name
Will rise and pay her with an Epigram:
He was set up with such a peaking Face,
As if to th' Humphreyans h' had been saying Grace;
That word doth hint our business, doth as well
As if I'd heard the Colledge Buttry-bell.
Page 2Then first we shall rehearse in humble Rimes
What time and hour we mount our Belly-chimes;
For it doth stand with excellent reason
To have for meats, as other things, a Season.
For so it was ordain'd by our Creator,
(And still perform'd by naturated nature)
The Earth, the Air, the Sea, (would y' have more
Than such an able triple Providore?)
With tempestivous delicacies strive,
To please us in a various nutritive:
And with successive courses interchanging,
They have for every time a severall ranging;
No Aulicus, Culman, no nor Clerk,
Shew such a bill of Fare as was i'th' Ark:
And as by Couples they to Noah came
To be preserved, they do the very same
To us to be destroyed; for Master Venter
Consumeth all that into it doth enter:
It is for this luxurious Anthony,
And puired vice, our Cleopatry,
The ransackt Elements do not afford
Enough Provision for the Bed and Boord.
Would it not prove thy whole Arithmetick
To cast in Cyphers what is spent by th' week?
(Friend Noah) in this great Metropolis,
Without the Tavern style, of Bread and Cheese,
What droves of Higlers post in from the Fens
With Fowls most Epicaene, both Cocks and Hens?
Of all which company I don•t enjoy
One Duck, and yet related to a Coy.
But oh the heads we see of greater beards!
Not I• was so fair when Iove afeard,
(That Iuno did suspect her self cornute)
Had turn'd his delicate Lady to a Brute:
Nor when himself was pleas'd a Bull to lowe,
Could he our two late Fausen Beeves out-show?
Page 3The wayes on every rode are all blockt up
With the whole family of those that Tup:
Who all like other innocents come
Unto these Shambles, to receive their doom.
St. Lukes is past, and Rumford rode doth whine,
As if that Circe were alive with Swine:)
'Piggs have their Tide too, and there is a Fare
'For those, who in their lives most filthy are.
How many Babies on S. Margrets Hill
(If all that name to her continue still)
Lie pil'd in Tray (as they were wont in Trough)
And yet (as if there were not Pigg enough)
Old Bartholmew with Purgatory Fire
Destroyes the Babe of many a doubtfull Sire:
Nor doth the Sea deny his vast supplies,
In greater Fishes and the lesser Fries,
As to our cost, the street o'th' name can tell,
How cheap soe're the Fish, the dressing's fell.
The very King of Fish his season knows,
And in vast shoals his just obedience shews;
So all the rest of that blew Monarchy
Follow their leader, all resolv'd to die.
How do the painted Mack'rell load our Shallops▪
And lest they smell, do put the winds to th' gallop.
Lord, what a din the Sluts at Billingsgate
Do make about the tother cast of Sprats!
And open more their monstrous mouths in vain,
Than do their Oysters against tide or rain:
Nor may we pass the place where Chimney-sweep
Doth now instead o'th' Cross his station keep:
*There is a Cornucopia walk but thorough,
(Where is the like, except at Edenburough?)
Oh had our Sister Burrough such a fate,
T' have had her double stalls of Flesh and Plate,
Her name might then have Eden been, whereas
For want of both she came e'ne where it was;
Page 4And so retains unto this Nations sorrow,
From our lost gewds, the last part of it borrow.
But I believe the Sallads of the place,
And Physicall Herbage, for a twelve-months space
Would be too great a fraight and summe to trie
The bank o'th' Caledonick Pedlary.
And now I think 'tis time the Bill of Fare,
Given in and read, for Dinner to prepare.
Chap. II. Question I.
WHat time and hour is best to eat at? Answer,
(Now Rasis was in Physick a sage Solon)
After our former meats have pass'd grand (c) Colon,
And the Saburra of the place unloaded,
No longer meat, no longer drink be avoided:
A little exercise, but not to sweat,
Excites the duller appetite to eat:
Soon as the eager Gentleman is rais'd
Fall on a Gods name (that's with God be prais'd:)
Do not defraud him, nay, we can't, I fear,
Hope to disswade, where there is ne're an ear.
But as it happens at a Lord Mayors Shew
(For greater Festivals we do not know)
It is so long before the hundredth dish
Is plac'd, and the Sword-bearer to his wish,
Hath chang'd the Sword o'th' City for a Knife
(Sharp as the Carver) so did tew to th' life,
And laid about most powerfully (his heat
And the sharp humour laid) doth no defeat:
Page 5'Then or with vinegar or violets syrrup,
'You may this lazy couchant Lion stir up;
But if you have not any of those at hand,
(I hope hot water may be at command)
Not Aqua vitae (though a dramme for crude
And pituitous stomacks may be good:)
But here tis Aesops heated water meant,
Which once tane down, the stomack upward sent:
After relouncing, if the stomack bray
(Like a sharp Ass, for thistles or for nay)
Give its demensum, let it feed pro more
On any meat that is set down before ye;
And for the quoties, let it as it wont
(Unless some vitious custome's paramont)
Then by degrees relinquish that, not sudden,
'No hasty thing is good, scarce hasty pudding,
Twice in a day, or what's more temperate,
Thrice in two dayes, or as 'tis forc'd of late,
(Once in a day) for squeez'd & dreyn'd Revenue
Is good to feed the bellies lank Retinue;
Take't from a prudent Prince, who'l tell ye,
By no means make a Cloke-bag of your belly.(d)
CHAP. III. Vpon the Appetite, and custome of eating.
AS we have us'd for Custome (as a second
Nature, is by learn'd (a)Averroes reckon'd)
So still persist, for it is good for men
To eat what they are wont, saith Avicen;
For totall change of diet cannot be
Commended, nor from hence hath warranty.
Nor we mean here, like Henry of Narar,
(The happy Thunderbolt of the French war)
(Who angry with his chiding Confessor,
(c) 'Cause he enjoyned frequent penance for
His often Peccadilloes, 'gainst the breach
Of the seventh Precrept, and did Doctrines teach
Of conjugall charity) this Prince wroth,
Confin'd the Priest to Capon and white Broth
For constant diet, twas a dish he lov▪d,
But for so long continuance not approv'd.
The Story's known, apply but meat to wives,
But does not hold in things we treat with knives.
More than one dish may be by us accosted,
Whether the fare be baked, sodden, or rosted:
The Crambe of one dish a Greek 'twould kill,
If he's enforc'd to feed upon it still:
Nor (b)Epicurus like, or like his drove,
To gurmundize and Jerfe it do we prove,
And wish to find the lech'ry of Provant,
Philoxenus his neck, or Cormorant.
This were to be a Wood or Maxriot,
Two English Helluas for his daily pot,
The heads of Beasts, with their appertinance,
Entrails and all, would not a meal advance,
Page 7Such throats (as Cormorants are us'd in game)
Should be string-throtled, or the poor will blame;
No, rather do, as we in sundry places
In his Almanzor are advis'd by Rasis,
Make an election of your food (and where
There•s choice, one dish is not presum'd the cheer)
Nor have at all, for then we eat a Musse,
That is not manly, Swine do onely thus.
Then let our meats themselves be simply good,
Yet one mans poyson is anothers food:
And what our palate takes and custome likes,
Though not so nourishing, will passe the pikes,
I mean the Palisadoes of the face,
Which have, in point of eating, the first place;
For manduration and our thorough chewing
Prepares what is into the stomack going,
And doth facilitate the work o'th' place,
(Which doth not gobbets like, nor gubbins base)
For as it goes it payes a certain toll
To th' palate, doth that Avenue controll;
There it receives an introductive change,
Before it come into the stomacks range:
And therefore Brawn, thouh a most lusty meat,
Is no wayes for a toothlesse Dame to eat,
Beside the hazard, which way ere 't should slip,
(Or down the throat, or back to the dish skip;)
W•thout good chewing it would lie to heavy
For th' Aqua vitae bottles us'd Replevy:
Yet unto such, whose constitution,
Like Cato's, needs no contribution
Of Counsels, nor of dose from Medicil Art,
(Who for his proper safety had a part
Of pitiful Physick, in moroser adage,
Teaching all cures by vomit and by Cabadge,
So did preserve unto a wondrous length
His Iron sides, and almost Ostrich strength.)
Page 8(Pardon the space of this Parenthasis)
To such we say, Athletick bulks as his;
Diet that's simply bad you may not give,
He might with Cabbadge, not with Hemlock live:
Let us I pray be rightly understood,
You may eat bad, but not your basest food;
Nor bad at all, if it disgust, but naughty
And pleasing meat does well, as hath been taught ye.
CHAP. IV. Of the order of Refection.
LEt not your checquer'd Table crack with dishes,
Pil'd like a structure with Land-Beasts and Fishes;
'For multitude of meats, as well as books,
'Distracts the brain, and belly likewise looks
For a digestion, t' eat at all, or read
Without it, shews rather hast than good speed:
The brain or stomack, if o're-cloy'd
By superfluities, are both dostroy'd:
Nature hath but one Cook, then send not in
The studied work of ten Cooks managing;
It would be thought a wonder amongst men,
If one Esurient Cook should eat up ten.
Thence comes corruption, when that Cook is tir'd,
Gives o're the work, and in the kitchin mir'd:
Oh how he fumes! all Cooks are Cholerick,
And sends his vapours crude and flegmatick
About the house (makes a foul house with all)
Diseases spring is Cacochimicall.
Page 9Next, let your lighter meats, and the subtiler
Be faln upon before the gross and viler.
Wherefore my Don, not Don Quixot, I mean,
(For such provision seldome there was seen)
At second course begins, and to be brief,
Eats (if he have it) at the last his beef.
Take heed, good Simon, how you sup your broth,
Much mischief comes through the accustom'd sloth
And negligence of Cooks, both he and she,
Of all such Cooks, clean•y come thou to me:
Not sifting Oatmeal, and the ingredients,
Which make your Mattin-cawdle liquaments,
Is cause, that frequently most durty Atomes
In silver Cup go toward the Ladies botomes:
'Now, though that blind men use to swallow flies,
'They would not surely, if they had their eyes.
This may be help'd yet, by a wholsome drainer,
(If that you think the caution's not the vainer.)
To things more pertinent we will proceed,
('Yet a good Poet died by a * Grapes seed)
No man will therefore (I do mean that wise is)
Contemn us for our mean, but true advises:
But as our various dinner is a fault,
So is our stay, and long remove o'th' Salt;
It is not good (like Dutch) I can't Dutch spreaken,
To sit at Table till our bellies breaken:
Feed untill midnight, and charess all commers,
And think all Physick is in crowned Rummers.
A dang'rous custome, and doth cause the stivers
To march apace into their intrail-drivers.
Oh how our Farriers thrive by fitting drenches
For many a Hogen Mogen, Men and Wenches!
But shall we eat at all? or what? you'l say
Yes, yes, you shall, and shall no longer stay.
Since that in Winter 'twas my hap to write,
Actuall hot meats are best for th' appetite:
Page 10And when the Summers pleasing heat is come,
Let actual cold meats be i'th' others room:
Think not all hots are of the Po•tage-pot,
Nor nothing cold but what its dressing got
The night before, but what by nature is,
Or hot or cold, are so with emphasis:
Wherefore those things, whose quality's so cold,
As if made so by snow, from them withhold;
Or whose intensive heats (without the fire)
Do warm, to eat have not too much desire:
Lubrick, that's glibbery, and the meat that's moist
And juicy, before drier fare accost;
Sweet meats, and sawce that's sowr (though an old Saw)
Is a good Rule in Avicenna's Law;
So mix your cold and hot, your moist and dry,
That neither have a grand predominancy:
And with these four precautions you may dine,
For contraries do their own selves refine:
And while they strive each to be Master,
The broken Elements are safest posture;
So they do rarely temperate become;
Such Wars produce a Peace, tis Pipe and Drum;
Wherefore let fat and unctions Swines-flesh swimme
In sharp and sawces tart up to the brimme:
Methinks it is a Dish highly abhorrens
To see a Pig bemeasl'd all in Currans.
D' you ask what place is best to take repast in?
(Not such as mine, for that's a place to fast in:)
But you that have your residence for food,
The coolest place, except the Cellar,'s good;
And sometimes I have known that hath been us'd,
And for its coolnesse ought not be refus'd:
But for its heat, as from a noli me
Tangere, flye, for there the Bottles lye:
And ever since Erasmus call'd it Hell,
You might in one as welll as th'other dwell,
Page 11In that with liquid fire they'r hard put to't,
In this God Bacchus is drunk up in boot:
Certes this custome is in memory,
The pretty Bulchins Cradie was a Thigh.
But in the Summer your coole um-brages,
And hid Recesses be your Diet-stages,
Provided that no intervemient wind
Through doores or crevises nor strain'd aire find
Accesse unto the place, for tis debated,
And found, the worst of air is preco-lated;
But chiefly chuse a ventilated place,
When that the Sun is in his highest race:
For native heat's by that extracted much,
Just as the fires, if Sun-beams do it touch;
But interpose a Screen, or else the Maid
Your fire's preserv'd, your stomack by the shade.
But if you have no such Sycamor places,
Eat at an hour that's cool then (saith my Rasis)
After meat taken, rest, or sleep, saith he,
Sleep not, say some, The Doctors disagree:
Revive Mayerne, and he will bid you sleep,
Old Paddy bid you smoke, your eyes ope keep:
I'm for the later Knight, my patron, who
Gave me his Colledge, shall give Counsel too.
CHAP. V. Of Meats in generall.
THe first considerable food is Bread,
Which He in Sacred Prayer hallowed,
Who in that Prayer 〈 in non-Latin alphabet 〉 (which bears
Its high-sprung Makers name, and to all years,
Must stand Matrix of holy Liturgies,
And be both Form and Part o'th' Services,
Better than all the whole) the platform lead,
▪Of whom to ask, and wherewith to be fed.
Our daily bread includes, as in a word,
The All-abundance of our fullest beard:
And he whose belly's full with bread alone,
(And blessing 'fore and after) were't a stone,
Shall find a satisfaction in his fare,
As great as if h' had din'd with my Lord May'r:
There is a tast of his Religion,
Who dares not write so large as Dr. Brown.
Now to our Phisical design, we treat,
Therefore the civiliz'd part o'th' world with Wheat,
The Bread compacted, and most stoutly kneaded,
Sifted most clean from bran, and as it needed,
Salted and leaven'd by your Barm and Quick'ning,
And throughly bak'd, will keep you best from sick'ning;
'Tis light and tart, as your good houswives say,
And makes i'th' body a convenient stay:
For cleansed from its Bran, which makes it swift
Of passage, and is onely good for drift,
Or scouring hands or pewter, or the hair,
(But for the rich Jessimy Butters rare,
And Mr. Cutbeards Powder) it will fix,
And till a due egestion moves it, sticks:
Page 13And oven-bak'd is best, the hearth is poor,
And onely fit for Caledonian Boor;
Except their Oat-cakes, nothing doth me please,
Nor Solan Geese, Bannock, nor Barnacles:
And spungy let it rise by its quick leaven,
For bread unleaven'd is not easily driven
Out of the stomack, but doth stay too long,
And by its pains doth do the belly wrong:
It makes obstruction in the Liver, and
Who would imagine Bread should turn to Sand?
Or to a Stone? its evil quality
Doth slime the reins, and there doth petrifie.
The Bread of Barley, the tough plowmans food,
Is colder nutriment, and not so good:
But those who sweat, and swink, and thwack, like sten•ors,
will digest stones, if on them they adventure;
But otherwise that Bread doth little nourish;
Tis windy too, and makes the Colick flourish,
'And causeth cold diseases, binds the belly,
And lies quiescent like a costive jelly.
As other grains are in their natures, so
Is the Bread is made of any Dough:
Bean-bread is flatulent and course,
But good for those have stomacks like a horse;
So Turnip-bread, a new and late devise,
To fatten Hogs and Horses in a trice▪
The curse of all Corn-Chandlers, who, by that
Project, do keep their grain for the old Rat.
Lastly, your Bread, when hot, by no means eat,
Nor butter'd loaves, they'r clungy clogging meat,
And bung the intrails up, you cannot make
A passage, though you down long confects take;
Yet 'tis Scholars breakfast of the Times,
Which makes them of such pregnancy in Rimes.
Yet if hot loaves you do account so dear,
You may for worms apply 'um to your ear.
CHAP. VI. Of Drinks, and first of Wine
WHilest I do write thy profits, and the good
Thou dost confer (plump Grapes most noble blood)
In either have nor call for helps from thee,
Thou voucht infuser of high Poetry;
It is enough for those who write thy praise,
Such as my Father Ben, whose head with bayes,
Scarce yet inherited, thou justly crown'dst,
To be Silenus like, well souc'd and plounc'd
In essences of Sack, whence spirits follow,
Richer and higher than his own Apollo.
Let those thy brave and warm contagions boast,
Who do recite th' profit of their hoast
And club-delight, whate're th' hesternall fire,
(Not at next meeting quencht) did fore-inspire:
A long forgetfulnesse hath seiz'd my soul,
Nor have I felt thy flames since Henham Bowl;
The cooler Hypocrene is spurn enough,
And the cleer liquor headed from the hoof
Of the wing'd Courser, serves for such poor stuff,
As humbly now comes forth his Muses Cell,
Is sutable, and hath its name from Well; *
Yet we will yield thee a just Elogie,
Far from a strain'd and wrackt Hyperbole,
Whereby it shall appear thy fotive fire,
Was present in our wish; and full desire
We say, and prove, thou art that nutritive
That keeps the spirits and the soul alive:
And thy known pregnant operations joyns
Those cognate paires, as to thine Elmes, are Vines,
By thine allied and subtile offices:
So that •ame (c)Psyche doth no servant more
(Being absent long) than thine own self-deplore:
At thy returns (for Queens do love and keep
Their State too) though in sorrows plunged peep,
Shee is reviv'd, and her quick actions prove,
Her alter'd instruments and her close love.
'For thy affini•y is such, so like
'With naturall heat, that as the flint doth strike
'Sparkles and fire, the ready tinder takes
'The darted Stars, and a glad union makes:
So when thy vigorous cherishing gleams
Reflect upon our blew and purple streams,
They all receive an influence from Thee,
And their alliance forthwith gratifie:
Then as a loyall kinsman would, thou dost
Nourish and heal, and dost expel the frost,
Both naturall and Christian away flies,
At thy approaches cold, and crudities:
And in the Christian Frost thou art as brief,
'Making th' afflicted to forget his grief;
The grosser blood thou streight dost clarifie,
No Scavenger in all the world like Thee,
Who by no tricks of Dung-carts new or old
Cleansest the purple * channell when tis foul'd.
Then to the common shore of blood thou goest,
And all obstruction from the liver throwest;
And thy new bush, not broom, sweeps clean,
And mundifies the sinck of All, the Spleen.
What misty vapour, or opacous fume
Dare stay, when that thy excellence is come?
'As if some unthought Prince had faln from high,
'(Lost in opinion, and to th' common eye)
'His half incredulous friends, 'twixt joy and fear,
'Dare not believe, nor dare not doubt him there;
Page 16'But setled in a view instead of Bels
'And Bonesires, the heart flames, the pulse beats peals.
So at reception of this Prince of Drinks,
The exalted hearrt it self in Paradise thinks,
And every member of its warmed Trunk
Shoots out, and leaps, though once 'twere sinew-shrunk.
Joy is dispers'd, and the relieved soul
Doth all her ransom'd Ministers controul;
A noble boldnesse doth possesse the mind,
To suffer injuries of any kind,
Not to commit the least, and she dares do
What in her shrivel'd state she fear'd to shew.
Magnanimous indeed, and prone to seek,
Adventures, and her self t' express and speak,
Not as the over-heated valiant Swine
(Pot-pertinacious sometimes, but not Wine.)
But these are sober Animosities,
Which raise our wisdomes, as our Fantasies,
Which coupled friendly in a social heat,
They can the tract of any business beat.
'Wherefore let Proclamation forthwith be,
'That every Sex and Age have liberty
'At any time, to tast this precious juice,
'Whose vertues are so high, so good his use.
And for the Quantum? or how much we may,
(Methinks the Vintnes cry, Tel's that I pray,
That the last Impost by a general draught
May be forgot, and the sunk price out-quaft;)
And truly, so it will make friends, we may
Drink what our natures well can bear away,
And the firm habits of unspoiled brains
'(Some drink not freely, but are in wine-chains)
Can gallantly discharge, without a spoil
Unto our purse, or to our souls a soil.
Now Wine is wondrous like Theriaca,(a)
So strange his various numerous vertues play;
Page 17Cold humours it doth heat, infrigidates hot▪
Moistens the dry, and where tough moisture's got,
Extenuates; such Protean qualities
Hath the rare Plant, that smoke▪ before our eyes:
Of both which excellent creatures, Wine and Smoke,
I dare affirm, that were you like to choke
With thirst, the one or tother shall your droughth
Asswage, before the coolest water down your mouth.
Now take what Rasis saith, Wine doth retard
Old age, and all its lazy flegmatick guard:
Unto the stomack 'tis the sworn Ephaestion,
Corroborates, and ministers digestion.
But after all these Panegyrick shews,
There is, beware, a Serpent in the close;
I mean not that is drank with Vipers in't,
But in every Butt that passeth by the pint.
';If you abuse it to undecencies,
'And murder it in superfluities,
'The vertue's lost, and in the vacant place
'Your own Diseases come, and Wine's disgrace:
'The dry'd up Liver, and the trembling Nerves,
'Caus'd from the moistned brains, return'd reserves:
Contracting Spasma, and cold Apoplexie,
Abused Grapes, conspired friends will vex ye.
CHAP. VII. Of Meath or Metheglin.
THe Bee, that subtil and industrious creature,
Of pains incredulous, but little feature,
Doth from the profits of his balmy thighs,
For lazier men, hive up his sweet supplies:
If from the eater honey came, the bee
Both emblem is and child of industry.
Madam, your self is an unwinged Bee,
Disdain not (Lady) this mean simile,
When the grand Plato, learned, grave and wise,
Describ'd a man by these two differences,
Unfeather'd and two-legg'd, so in a mock,
They sent him home his own man, a pluckt cock:
When that I saw more then Hyblean skill,
And Bees to have but one art▪ you what you will;
The Ants and Grashoppers submit to you;
And think themselves but drones when you'r in view;
Your various artifices your sex disgrace,
(Ev'n unto painting skill'd, all but the face)
It put me to an Emulation then,
(Oh that there were no other strifes 'mongst men)
To see a Lady of such diligences,
Of more Professions Mistress then of Senses▪
And I that paid for dearly what they call,
Howe're the seven endowments liber•ll,
(But foolish purchaser took but smal w••e
For money and time, the which was 〈◊〉 more rare)
Could not for all my seven years penniwo•th,
Shew so good a•ts as you did then hold forth;
Nay I profess it, were expe•ience made,
(Excepting in this scribling quibling taade)
Page 19The exigent put, you would your fortunes carve,
In any part o'th' world, tnd I might starve;
Nay in my very subject, if you please,
You could out-vy me too in recipes,
And teach the medling fool to be more quiet.
And come to Henham-hall to study diet;
Where Metheglin ev'ry winter morn,
With tost and tankard to our lips are born:
For honey is exceeding hot (saith Rasis)
And is high food for bodies cold, and places:
The pea•l o'th' morning genders blood and choler,
So one way good, and th' other naught for scholar:
B•t for complexions sanguine, such as mine,
It is less wholsom, then a little wine;
But to cold persons, and of sinews weak,
And flegmatick▪ and Ladies stomack-sick,
It is a high and sure corroborator,
As saith our Avacena's commentator:
The ways to make it are so many, I
Had rather drink a cup of't, then descry.
CHAP. VIII. Of Ale.
DRnk famous, infamous, prais'd and disprais'd,
From stygian lakes, that's muddy harbours rais'd
From common shores and father Ben's adventures,
How dar'st thou boiled bog or muzzles enter?
But when the keen cheroketh blows sat Bumpkin,
Who will refuse to drink thee in a Rumpkin?
Enough is written for thee, pro and con,
Yet since hops came thy name is almost gon:
Page 20But that the Alderman hath cleans'd thy tide,
And makes us wish thee yet amongst us Bide▪
And Huff of famous memory, that Huff,
Who to his ale had no sign but his ruff;
That, and his ale most smooth, did so well work,
The house was full of Christian and of Turk;
And in demulsing lubrick mornings drafts,
A good estate into old Huff was quaft,
What is ale good for? look against his doors,
And you shall see them rotted with ale-showrs:
It hath this speciall commendation,
To cleanse the ureter, and break the Stone:
Just as a feather-bed the flint doth break,
So th' other stone your North-down-ale alike:
Thy mother Ba•ly is an enemy
To th' nerves, that makes men stagger after thee,
Drunk beyond Huffs demensum, who did stint
In's regular ruff, his guests unto a pint.
(But at one session) yet go forth, and face
About, and then you might take tother glasse:
Windy thou art, wheth• in bottles close
Corkt up a pris'ner, and as bad let loose;
Yet foul and gravell'd reins thou dost make terse,
Not made too strong, and by good store, disperse:
'Tis weight, as much as vertue, does that feat,
Tunbridge and Barnet, of opinion great,
Are no more soveraign then the wholsom spring,
To which sir Thomas gave a covering,
And bowls in chains, the aged man can tell,
When Barnet fails, those waters sell as well
To cousend citizens, yet we can't deny.
Ta many baths specifick quality:
But chiefly (as by parentage I'm bound)
I like the wells in Wellingborrough-ground;
Whose spring's renoun'd for vertue uterine,
And still is famous for our pregnant queen.
Page 21But to our ale (and there is humming stuff
As good as any tinker did ere cuff.)
Those who indulge themselves to too much wines,
Allay that heat by thee, and cool their chines:
Onely like nitty sack it leaves a tail,
And lies in the clung'd throat most roapy ale,
But daughter of the tother mother, wheat,
And mixt with mint or smallage, thou art neat;
And sage or wormwood in a small degree,
Do clear thy fog, and grossness clarifie:
But now these later knowing dayes have made
Thee fit infusion for our physick-trade:
The Lettices of ale-compounded shops
Are now as numerous as those of hops:
There's scarce a street in which out worships go in,
But that thy name in some new mode doth crow in;
A proper word, since every where they drape on,
In live ale or mortified Cock or Capon;
The physick of the Spring and Fall is ale,
And bags of drugs and Simples by sea sail,
As they were returning from the Indies,
To be ingredients for this woort so windy
Had Culpeper but strain'd his faculties,
And stead of what he did translated this
Into some forreign Countrey, and not Tongue,
He had the nation been the prime among:
But now Riverus and the Staple-book
Of Compositions, on him scurv'ly look,
For prostituting the art; for no Bawd,
Moral or civil, can our Verse applaud;
Vehiculum of every drug, I may
Call thee most aptly by the name of Dray,
Nay to the very arts of Schools thou'rt come,
By sad exchange of rods for lotium,
And made most swingeing ale for butts,
I mean the place econtrae to the guts:
Page 22Tradition pleads for thee (for ale is old)
And since thy sad disuse, the world is bold
To charge the Stone i'th' body, and the Church,
Upon thy vale Doctors make a search,
And try if Heresy, and that sharp pain
From ale's desertion, did not footing gain.
CHAP. IX. Of Beere.
Beer is a hop remov'd from ale, the hop
from a damn'd weed is a common crop:
'So things condemn'd and censur'd, are retain'd,
'Because forbidden, it more credit gain'd:
Yet if maturely rotted, where no fault
Is in the beer by foul and wively malt,
Well kept and lodg'd, and purged by the sea,
Or Marches two, it may probatum be:
But in digested hops and unboil'd beer
Make Doctors Jubile ev'ry year:
Some anti-hoppists are for b•oom, and make
The blessed Carduus, that infusion l•ke.
This last is physick-drink, and your broom-beer
Is bitter, and to wood-dry'd malt is near;
But gentle Purle is good, and botled best;
And Twist is good, so sings Will Hoopers guest.
CHAP. X. Of Flesh-meats in generall.
IT is an an axiom in Philosophy,
That every like its like is nourisht by:
Wherefore consid'ring that we'r flesh and blood,
And flesh and blood is our most proper food;
But generall rules have their exception,
Grammer and Nature in like orders run,
For whom all things were made; Man paramount,
Lord of the creature, may the creature count,
His diet and his staves, he may eat all,
Except himself, he is no Caniball:
And though unto a proverb it is true,
Man is a woolf to man; 't should not be so:
For the most rav'nous of creatures do forbear,
And don't themselves a dire provision •ear;
That sow's unfed will their dead babies eat,
And hounds do make the noble horse their meat,
Is not enough to make a president, no,
But what is alwayes, or plerumque, so;
The princely Eagle, and the Buzzard base,
Feed not on birds when offal's in the place;
So at the Samaria's siege, the King did give
A sentence for that child that was alive,
Not of the dead, for grand necessity,
And famine's nurse to Anthropophogie.
This doth not hinder then, but still Thesis
Holds Flesh is food generall, and pl•••es;
Nothing so fattens▪ so corroborates,
Nothing the body's life-guard so creates.
(The red coat blood, in blew coat veins of State)
Page 24The yellow coat's of cholar, flegmatick,
Of white and blak coats that i'th' reer doth stick;
Of earthly melancholy, who'd suppose
His body did four Regiments inclose?
Wherefore the persons that do feed so high,
Have often need of good Phlebotomy:
For flesh provision of all sorts doth heat,
Wherefore in Feavers we prescribe small meat,
Or none at all, unless the Patient please,
Spight of advice, to feed his own disease;
The fleshy substance stripped off't, the sat
Doth nourish best, and lesser harms creat:
Strengthens the stomack, and doth kindly lie
For coction, Suns much supefluity.
Herculean bodies and Pyracmon sides
Can digest Garlick, and the Onion fry'd;
Butter and bacon may devour and swallow,
Yea, and put over too a Beev's whole tallow;
Athletick bodies we provide nor for,
Nor yet for Wood, nor the sharp Counselor;
But sedentary men of little pains
Must not with such gross stuff anoynt their veins:
A lighter diet, and a modicum,
Little and often food their states become▪
CHAP. XI. Of Wood-Animalls.
NOw we are in a Wood, yet no such Wood,
As girts your palace, nor the Deer so good;
Where in some summer walks with early thought,
The velvet drove I to acquaintance brought;
As known to them almost as were your keepers,
(Scholers and Forresters are little sleepers)
I had my walks, my Hamadryades,
But his shrill Syrinx did out ec•ho these
Oaten and slender pipes, though not so vocall,
Which have their Forrest too but 'tis not locall:
Poets have all things in their fancy, good,
So the poetick man is alwaies Wood;
And as old writings were on barks of trees,
Without a Figure Books are Copices,
And such a Rus, and in Fenestra too
Is mine, Beasts subject, Trees a Book or two;
And I your sable Forrester, yet Iohn a Green
In heart▪ am frequent in my night-walks seen,
Where if I like a Fawn o'th' nobler head,
With all hast (Madam) to your self 'tis •ed.
Creatures o'th' Wood are wooden Animals,
That is, are dry, compar'd to Beeves of stalls;
The houshold creatures, which by ease do fat,
And nothing of their flesh evaporate,
Yeild a more jucy nutriment, then Deer,
Cutting half knife in fat, meat for a Peer;
The active tenants of the in losed Wood,
By constant motion clense their chafed blood,
And ratifie their spirits by Levaltos,
Like the rare Turk, in all your pleasant Saltus;
Page 26Besides their scituation, hot and dry,
Doth alwaies much obesity deny.
Who ever saw a Spaniard over fat?
Their Countrey-man (the SUN) prohibits that,
Who by extensive heats exhals their moist,
Unlesse perchance some Spaniard the Seas crost,
And Leiger lay in England then he might
Return a Shew, and the Madrids delight:
Of all that wild and noble Caravan,
The skipping Kid is soundest meat for man;
Who by his frequent exercise doth cure
The coldnesse of his temper, and dispure▪
The tincture of his coat and fulsome skin
Into Rufillus(a) perfumed sweet-balling.
Quick of digestion is this nimble bruit,
And passeth Presto, and doth blood recruit;
And if the stomack were his park, he playes
His usuall tricks and makes no tedious stayes;
Domestick Brutes o'th' Pasture or o'th' Down,
Of other aire, and seldom motion,
Are of a nourishing meat, but grosser fare,
And threfore harder of digestion are;
'Mongst which the males have the precedency,
Hotter and moister concoct presently,
Before their females, of lesse heat and juice,
And therefore are not of so prais'd a use:
The gelded crew of middle temp'rature,
Colder then males (whose fire doth yet endure)
Yet hotter than their females, (who despise,
Since their exection, their shab companies)
Do make a middle food; thus Eunuchs may,
When they are dead, serve for a wedding-day.
But Kid is temperate without the least
Mixture of malice, a most innocent beast:
The blood which that creates is middle siz'd,
Neither too grosse, nor too much subtiliz'd;
Page 27Neither too cold nor hot (a temper nought
•n our Religion, but in Physick sought)
•ood for an errant Knight, or any thing,
Whose body's lightnesse would be on the wing;
For the Repletions are gentile, yet not
So slender, that no nutriment is got:
Whence it appears Kid hath the Ladies love,
'Tis delicate diet, and 'tis smooth-skinn'd gloves.
But above all, the Infant-kids are best,
As we say, taken from the mothers breast,
So full of sappy nutriment, and smart,
That without sawces sweet, alid, and tart,
You may fall on; what would we more than tast,
And good blood breed, when just digestion's past?
CHAP. XII: Of the flesh of Lambs, Rammes Wethers and Calves. Of LAMBS.
EMblem of Innocence! and yet not good▪
Is Lamb a Shynx, not to be understood?
Some Butcher Oaedipus with knife drawn out
O'th' scabberd of thy mouth, resolve this doubt,
(As did Macedo to the Gordian Knot)
And in Aenigma's dubious leave us not.
For your sake (Madam) who a little claim,
And stand hard for the Hieroglyphick name
Of Spotlesse Innocence, even against all
Lambs, but that one, that you your pattern call,
Page 28(Slain from before all worlds) I shall untack
This knot, by th' help of Rabbi Isaak,
Not Idumaean Isaak, Abrahams son,
Who by parentall hand had like t'have gone
To sacrifice, but that the Angels grace
Dispos'd a bleating Proxie in his place;
The heir o'th' flock yean'd on the coldest Lease,
Is then worse meat, when nu•s'd upon his knees:
(Some may obedience from that posture learn,
Nothing so dutifull as the yews barn)
Yet as if now we were Herodians all,
Nothing then Lamb comes oftner to the stall;
The flesh is viscous, and ingenders flegme,
So 'tis a bad dish, a good Apothegm:
Yet when in flesh a fair foundation's laid,
And on a dish or two invasion's made,
Then from your Lambkin (Madam) ne're withhold,
But let it have its course, be't hot or cold:
In hotter Countreys, such as Spain, the Lamb
Gets hotter temper from his curled Dam.
DHAP. XIII. Of Rammes.
THis goodly •uffle-head with winding horns,
Though he looks scurvy, and th' whole flock scorns,
Yet is the grossest meat; this surly sir
Is good, if he exceed not his first year;
If well digested, it doth generate
Good blood, and much; but if it had the fate
To fall i'th' hands of curst Armenian Libbers,(a)
After exection he is much the glibber;
Page 29And though he be a lost Ramme, as we say,
To th' Yews, he's good howe're the other way;
His flesh is temper'd by his depriv'd fire,
And having lost his own, gets our desire:
It hath a winning and delicious gust,
Though Father Galen, whom we credit must,
Condemnes all Mutton, but he wrote in Townes
Where little was, and ne're saw Cotsall Downs,
Nor this same land of Sheep, whose noble wooll
Clothes the Muscovian, and the great Mogull;
The English Fleece doth proudly passe the gulph,
And fears no hazard but its native Wolf;
How many Nations Fleets empty the fraughts,
And do return this Fleeces Argonauts?
Then for the Back it's good, and in keen hunger,
Were Galen here he'd be a Mutton-monger:
But Ramme from Wether-mutton you may know,
That's yellow, this (a) no cause hath to be so.
CHAP. XIV. Of Calves.
WElcom thou Increment of Bully Bove,
(Or when a Bull, why not as well of Iove?)
A Calfe, saith Averaoes, is brave food,
Of temperate blood, not viscous, cold, but good,
And hath a flavour and odorous gust,
And therefore before Kid, his praise is just:
For though the Kid we did extoll but now,
'Twas 'mongst his Montaneirs, so we allow:
But for Calves frag•an•ies, we'r none of those,
That for our diet will be led by th' nose,
Page 30Although it is confess'd by all (forsooth)
The Calves head's ne're without its own sweet tooth;
To make no long taile of it then, it breeds
Humours most fine, and therefore cleanlier feeds.
But flesh of Bulls and Oxen, those Calfe's sire,
These Uncles (better by their losse of fire)
Breed black, and much, and melancholy blood,
Our veins of blew are made a sable flood;
And as alive we Bulls do stiff-necks call,
So are they too Knock-downed in the stall:
'Tis a most rebellious nutriment, dead,
And lies i'th' stomack heavy, as is lead:
It's slowly alter'd, turns to chyle as slow,
As slow dissolv'd does to the members go:
It wants a goad when it is drove alive,
A Clarret goad may't through the stomack drive;
The lazy Surloin, glory of the roast,
And Knighted, and yet was never Knight o'th' Post;
Unlesse when thou (brave (a)Sheriff) dost refine
His duller blood with thy for bon French Wine:
If by complexion men adust (that's sad)
Or splenatick, do like this beveridge bad.
'Ware Quartan Agues, Dropsies, and the Itch,
The Leprosie, or Tetter, chuse you which,
Dandry and surfie heads, this blood o'th' Ox
Bestowes all these, and yet the Butcher knocks:
Wherefore most wisely have our Masters stated,
That Bulls, before they die, shall all be baited.
CHAP. XV. Of the Flesh of Swine, Deer, Hares and Bears.
First, of Swine.
MY Father (a) Ben, discoursing of this Grunter,
In that so famous Play, where old Sir Punter
Being turn'd Oxlando for the losse of's dog,
Did lug the jeering buffon like a hog:
There in that celebrated Comedy,
(Whether my Father Ben, as well as I,
Met with Arabian Comments) the smart Play
Doth patly what my ancient Authors say:
There's wit to th' height, read it, and try our Dogma,
Whether from both the places we a Hog may
Not all alike commend; first Avicen
Sayes, Pork's most naturall to men, so Ben;
Hogs flesh is likest mans, saith Isaak;
The same again saith Ben, but adds, that Sack,
A Hogshead full, for a vehiculum,
Will spoile its grumbling in our medium,
(Or middle Region of our Trunk) for Swine,
Alive or dead, will be still laid with Wine.
Indeed my Father Ben doth there produce
A reason why they were denied the Jews;
Because that Nutrimentall Animall
Of a provoking sap, and Hogo• all,
Would have disorder'd and o're-pamper'd those
Who newly come from Egypts hard dispose:
Rebels in rough Mosaick Discipline,
How much more Rebels, had they eaten Swine?
Which makes me think the Caledonians,
Alike in Sins, alike in Onions,
Page 32Are of affinity with the old Jews,
Both for Rebellion, both do Pork refuse.
Now of this Animall there are two sorts,
The one domestick, tother extra Ports,
(That wild and forreign) whose food is such
As the Wood yields, when winds do lust'ly touch,
And flaile the Oaks and Chesnuts, and the berries,
Which Nature for the birds meant winter cherries.(a)
But oh the flesh of choice-fed houshold swine!
And of the quarters, the renoun'd cold chine!
Eaten, or sung, or plaid by Wilson,(b) sure
For old Sir Mammon it were yet a lure
Sufficient to leave Doll, and for a bone,
To passe his part o'th' Philosophers Stone;
Hampshire is rare for reering such, and may
Contend almost with black Westphalia;
The moister feeding is the home-fed swine,
Hotter and dryer is Sow Peregrine:
See the attendancy of Suffolk Pigs,
Fed by the hoopt-coat merry milking grigs,
Clensed with whey, and fatted with the same,
Or Snailes, or good Vine leaves (which Pidgeons blame)
Or else the Turnep; oh the Turnep-fed
Swine! may chance save us, Turneps being dead,
With grains, these Girles and such Hog-provender,
Will you a Porker of that fulnesse reer,
That Circes brood, and all her chang'd Elpe-nors
Cann't parallel for meat nor for demeanour:
Such dieted swine are cold and moist, a rare
Temper, and to the gust most relishing are;
But quite another thing, when dry'd by salt,
It is exuct, and laid up 'mongst the malt:
Now in hot Countreys, where our Commentator
Liv'd they prescrib'd the extremities o'th' creature,
The luggs, the leggs, the souced feet and snout,
I'm for the Roman way, dish it whole (c) out;
Page 33Or as I've seen it rarely rais'd and drawn
By Henham cook, up to a 〈◊〉 of B••wn,
Where wicked 〈◊〉, yet good 〈◊〉•••berry,
Hath made the •a•er, not the brawn••, c•y;
Then from the tun too, o• the th•ee 〈◊〉 c•me
A Ganymed with Sa•k, and warm'd •heg me,
That the old Matron that old m•mbling •eed
Before, did after swallow't with less heed:
The infant, or the sucking baby dies
About this season,* a large •ac•i•ice;
The wayes are throng'd, blockt up with bellies big,
(And bellies would be so) for crackled pig;
St. Bartholmew the great, and Bat the little,
Afford not room enough, but the Hospitall
Is press'd into, wherein whosoever looks,
Shall see all dressing on, chirgians and cooks:
Well fare you sisters of my native soil,
Eat pig and multiply, recruit your oyl
With unctio•s di••, it breeds noble chyme,
Call for the other half, and by that time
Your men will come with the reck'ning, so
You may from Pig unto the Puppets go:
And then to Islington, and so about,
Untill what's pigged in be pigged out.
CHAP. XVI. Of the flesh of Deer.
SUppose us (Madam) in your park, where Deer
Are kept for every season of the year:
Do any ask how they'r at such command?
Then know my Lady hath Orphaean hand.
If He wild beasts by courtly musick tam'd,
You m•y do more, unlesse the bruits be maim'd,
And cannot come; for otherwise your stroke
Upon the Lute will spi•itize an o•k,
And make the Park to dan•e, and humbly follow
Thee as the mistress of the skill'd Apollo;
Th• late erected House and Garden pales,
Rose by thy hand (just as did Theb•n w•lls;)
Thy nimble fingers do so stir the Lute,
(Like Davids Harp) they may a Devil confute:
Brave Gunning, by his learned arts and t•ngue,
Gains not so much upon th' Anabaptist throng,
Then you upon these cognate droves, who stand
and listen (they love musick) to your hand.
I could into a wood of lawfull p•aises launch,
And p••ise the creature full•, side and haunch:
But Rabbi Isaak saith thei• flesh is hard,
(Not to be go•) at Henham none's debarr'd:
Thy Husband's old Canary, and fat Buck,
With dogs run down, or else with arrowes stuck;
Yet they are melan•holy diet, but
They all ••e so which are much given to rut:
The Fa••ns a•e wholso•e an• th• hei•s digest
Better then 〈◊〉▪ or mother of the beast:
The youthfull stand is ve•y hot and d•y,
When old, like other things, their worst is nigh:
Page 35The Eunuch Deer is temperate▪ and most
Pleasurable when its pleasure's lost:
Troch upon troch troch troch a reverend Stagg,
He doth of age and red-Deer-p•s•y b•agg;
And tho•gh it's dry yet let the Venison passe,
His own fat s•pples it, and tother glass;
It is o• quick descension, and the marrow
Slides th•ough •he bo•y f•om the Gutturall narrow:
And learned Avicen doth say for certain,
That then•e are p•ocreated many a Quartane:
Ca•ses of Q•artanes we have many sure,
Oh for an Avicen could tell's the cure!
Now for conclusion, this beast for game
And entertainment, hath with us the name:
Know then, the body is a joviall meat,
Fit so•Squire Rous, yea for a Prince to eat;
Its upper part is Antidote▪ but oh,
There's poyson lies i'th' taile (the part below:)
Emblem of humane Chance! in this sad veile
Nothing's thorough blest from head to taile.
CHAP. XVII. Of Hares.
THe Rabbins say, the Lion sneezing, out
Started a Cat from his Majesti•k snout,
Without the Pythagorean motion rare,
The Cat then sneezing started out a Hare;
For there is nothing among creatures that
(B•t Hare) is melan•holy as a cat;
And we do call them Pusses both; one purres
Onely, and both are vengeance 'fraid of curres.
Hare is good sport, as all our Gen••y know,
The onely Recreation left us now;
For Playes are down, unless the puppet-play,
Sir William's lost, bo•h Oyle and Opera;
The noble Cock-fight done, the harmless bears
Are more then ring'd by th' nose or b• the ears:
We are serious people grown, and full of cares,
As melancholy as cats, as glumm as hares.
Yet tho•gh it generate the grossest blood,
Then Goats and Ramms, these are more praised food.
Oh for the pretty sucking Leveret,
(An excellent dish if that I could it get;)
Not yet so dry are Conies in degree,
Moist are the breed of Aubern Conigree;
Laden with kidneys white, what can you lack,
Except a glass of Squire Bonds Ogburn Sack?
CHAP. XVIII. Of Beares.
TEll me you traders for the Greenland wares,
(For you know best) what diet are the Bears?
Not onely the left shoulder, I believe,
But the whole Bear is Ven'son, Sheep and Beeve;
It viscous is, and disobedient,
And a most indigestive nutriment;
More fit, saith Rabbi Isaak, for cures
And medicines, th•n for hungry stomack-lures,
Unless a drunken Tinker, me•all'd man,
(Who his teeth out of's budget strengthen can)
Sho•ld fall to tooth and nail, in's pot he spares
Nothing that's next, then away with your beares:
Yet in high Russia, and i'th' land of Whales,
Bears may be dress'd, if ye catch 'um by th' tails;
And so a•e Apes, that inortogious lump,
Or any thing, indeed that wants a rump.
Those men, who, ships departed, staid behind,
(For no mans sake will water stay, and wind)
Can give us best account of this rough beast,
Whose sad society, most unwelcome guest,
Was very uncouth and suspicious, when
'Twas doubtfull which was prey, Bears or the men:
Those Greenlanders, hutched up in frosty Cabbins,
Shall be our Aelians, let alone the Rabbins;
If like to Conies Bears will fat, I know,
Those must be fausen bears that live in snow:
Our Paris-garden bears, had they not dy'd,
Might have been eat, but for Sir Thomas Pride.
CHAP. XIX. Of the members and parts of Creatures.
THe Heads of Creatures Countenance, or Faces,
As Swines and Oxen are grosse mea•, saith Rasis,
They'• hot and nourish much, not a good fa•e,
Unlesse when Titan's farthest from the Bear;
In winter deep when you may freely •rolick
In cheeks and heads, but that they breed the Cholick:
The Brain of temper cold doth na•seat,
And is offensive to the stomack: what?
May we not eat them? yes, if you are
Of constitution hot; the b•ain is rare,
Eat it the first, and before other dishes,
But cold complexions, and a-kin to fishes,
Or whose distemperature arise from cold,
With this Meninges guest be not too bold:
The Marrow is of •emper cold, but not
So cold as that, though thence its rise is got.
Hot, and by cold (if in our art there be
Any such Point found out, unlesse by me)
Good for Sir Epicures, and men o'th' chine,
Who sacrifice to Venus, both in Wine
And Ceres, and a grand Provision make
To gratifie the flesh, these C•nons take,
And in a Meal o• Marrow-bones advance
As great a shew as so much great Ordnance;
But not so great a noise, when these Guns play,
The s•lpher's white, and won't it self betray,
This Sperm-ingenderer is good for such
Who Paul's strict Canons do not trouble much,
Page 39The spungy Udder and the •nctious Papps
(The fulsome diet of Sir Mammon's chapps)
Do nourish most exceedingly, yet slow,
And in a gen•le pa•e to chile do go:
Those who have stomacks hot, and livers like,
May their flesh-hook into th' •udder strike.
Livers of Beasts are hot and moist, and breed
Much blood (they are conge•led blood indeed)
But hard and heavy: that of Lamb or Calf,
Or of the sucking Pig, is diet safe:
But Isaak saith that liver doth p•efer,
Of the sweet Mistresse of sir Chanticler:
The same Arabian discommends the heart,
A solid, but an indigestile part;
But when digested, it doth breed good blood,
And nourisheth as well as any food.
Why not as well as liver? this we call
Font of venal blood, that arterial.
The lights and lungs are of a substance rare▪
And light, and therefore soon digested are;
So soon they passe, and from the stomack go,
(Our bellows call'd, but yet not windy though)
D•ess'd with appertenances of the Sows bearn,
They'r too opiparous for Country Kern.
The reigns are for two reasons not approv'd,
First they'r grosse and hard, not eas'ly mov'd
Out of the caldron natural; but when
(That pot hath master'd them) they'r nought then:
And 'cause the serous part of u•ine takes
His tincture from the reigns, them all •orsake.
The flesh of creatures, mo•e especi•l that
Which is of fatter cattel (no• the •a•)
Is excellent, breeds spe•m and nobl• blood,
And in this n•tion is too gene•al food:
The fat is loa•hsome, and as oil• grea•e
Is the most moist of all, it doth increase
Page 40Cold and moist humours, and such feeders be
Full of ungovern'd s•pe•fluity:
But interlined flesh, as I may say,
Some lean, some fat, carries the praise away•punc;
And breeds most temperate blood and sperm alike;
Hence is our Nation ruddier, and the Pike
Of English war farre moves the Curtesan,
That she cries out, Oh my brave English man!
The Feet do generate a viscous blood,
And therefore to the Stone in•lin'd, not good:
The Rump of creatures then th' interiour parts
Ho••er and lighter are, for the kind darts
Of Scrotums warm inhabiters (o• heat
A second forge) th' adja•ent parts do beat
And ••imulate, and warms that utmost bit,
There's something go• by good neigbour-hood yet:
The nearer then the Tes•i•les more hot,
The farther off by scituation naught:
We will not in our Rules a Proverb cross,
Th' extremities are alwaies at a loss.
CHAP. XX. Of Bake-meats.
BAke-meats are generally naught, and Pie
Is disapprov'd, though Alholland-day be nigh:
We write not unto children, whose spoil'd gumms,
(Whate're the Coral gain'd) confesse that Plummes
And o're-warm'd Custard have edentifi'd,
(That is, made toothless) many a simp'ring Bride:
Who for this very reason, all their life,
Are feign to laugh behind a handkercheif:
So have I seen a toothless Bride-groom sit
Hungry at's wedding, nor could chew a bit,
Untill the spoon-meat came, then his throat strain
So wide, you might have seen his heart again:
Wherefore forbear them, Rabbi Rasis saith,
But against Pie-meat there is little faith:
To bodies troubled with an acid wind
And eructations sower, bake-meats are kind;
They doe eventilate and lay that Flatus,
Which smels so mawkish from its foul Hiatus;
For little nourishment they yield, but those
Whose spungie bodies slimy flegm o're-flowes,
Or do desire to be gentile, that's gaunt and fine,
May eat this drying diet (none of mine.)
Roast-meat, which long-back'd curres do spin on spits,
Are far more nutritive, though they'r gross bits,
And not digested, but by stomack's dint,
And when the ventricle hath vigour in't;
It binds the belly, yet there's help for that,
If you do eat good store of the roast fat:
But flesh with generous eggs and pepper drest,
Of any bake-meat is accounted best.
Page 42Oh for a Pie-meat, be't at any rate,
Rais'd by thy hand and ar• (dear Oxford Kate)
The wisdome of thy Cookery doth raise
Unto thy self, and Dishes lofty praise:
Thy meats are a brave winter food, and when
I do indulge my genius like those men,
Thy gallant guests, a stately Pie of thine
Shall fit us for the pretty friend of Wine,
And Mother of Proserpina: all this
(Kate) at the length will bring us unto Dis.
Bake-meats corroborate and nourish more
Then any diet we have nam'd before:
But in the summer (Kate) we will forbear,
They are too hot for us in sultry air,
And breed the Stone, a thing (sweet Cate) which I
Nor you would see, to find one petrifie.
And though thy praises I do gladly vent,
I would be loath to be thy Monument.
CHAP. XXI. Of Birds in generall.
TH' Arabian Isaak dictateth, that Fowl
Compar'd with walking creatures, are the Soul,
They but the Body of meat; they'r light and fine,
And do the feeder to quick works incline;
As if their feathers still were on, they spring
Thorough the quarters, and are all o'th' wing:
Rare and aeriall, yet the nourishment
Is small, and less then walking Fowl or Pent;
Yet our Silvestrian, then Domestick bird,
Is tenderer, as once before y' have heard,
And of digestion facile, the reason
Is, their assiduous labour and dry season.
If Daedalus with any wings of wax,
Could a made it flie, how light had been an Ox?
Which now must be most heavy, gross and dull,
Though it were dress'd in Phalaris his Bull,
As I may guesse by Milo, who in sweat
Of's brows did find an Ox was heavy meat:
But these high flyers rare, 'cause they do move
Often, and the dry aire to traverse love;
But the Domestick, that lesse plye the oare
Of feather'd pinions, succulent, are more,
And generate a noble blood, being moist
Of temper, nor wirh aery swimming tost:
Of all the Birds that skirre the liquid aire,
Our Aurhor saith the *Starling is most rare;
(A most rare Singer if his tongue be slit,
Confess'd) but not with us a dainty bit:
Yet if you bring it to an English Cook
Uncas'd, he'll make him tast like any Rook:
Page 44The masculine bearns of Partridges are neat,
The mother's Hen and Pheasant, Lady-meat;
The Cockrels of all birds are lightest food,
And breed the laudablest and wholsom'st blood,
Strengthens the appetite, their gendring fire
Fitting them both for diet and desire:
But yet th'Arabian Doctor Avicen,
Preferres before all these the creaking Hen,
And saith that Hen-broth is a remedy
Probatum against scurfie Leprosie:
Besides, who'd think the female had such praise,
Since females are the worser many wayes?
The brains, saith he, of Hens increaseth wit,
Augments its namesakes substance; there is it;
For those who are fantastick, idle, vain,
As if their food wer• so, we call Cock-brain.
CHAP. XXII. Of Hens.
THe Doctors differ, for Rabbi Isaak
Doth pull our Hen, and won't allow the crack,
But justifies the Chick against the Damme,
(A Physicall, not Divine Axiom)
And in comparisons not odious,
Bids us the Chick before the Mother chuse,
As being the tougher nourishment, enough,
But for my meal give me a Hen tooth-proof,
Not tough as buff, nor yet as whit-leather,
But often humbled by Sir Chanticler:
Then full of Embrion chick, let her appear
In Claret-sawce throughout all Ianivere.
Page 45But for the limber thighs of infant-fowl,
Which you may draw like Peascods through your jowle,
Unlesse in acute Feavers, let them eat,
Whose teeth dare not incounter tougher meat.
Next unto these the flesh of Quailes is thought
Exceeding good, especially Iew-bought,
(That's at the price they were i'th' Wildernesse)
But to eat them now in London-dresse,
Or Partridge-chicken (which is grosser food,
Costive, but nourishing) though the meat's good.
I shall not venture, and I know the cause,
Because it did rain Quails, but never sawce.
CHAP. XXIII. Of Pidgeons, their young ones, and Ducks.
THe infant-Pidgeon, and the suc•ing Dove,
Emblem of Innocence, of Lust, of Love,
Are a most high and filling diet, hot
And inflaming, thence are Feave•s got;
'Ware Pidgeon therefore, till his early flight
Hath purg'd his heavinesse, and made it light;
To these invite your flegmaticks, a scholar,
Men sedentary, but not a man of choler.
Ducks of aquatick fowl are far the worst,
Whether Fen-fed, or in your own moats nurst;
Hot is their blood, and of a Saturn die,
Gives nauseas and superfluity,
Yet nourishing enough, if it were good,
(He don't prescribe a copious, but sound food;)
Of all the fowl which on the lakes do wander,
From the wild Duck unto the Goose and Gander,
Page 46There's none but are repletive, if it smell
Amisse 'tis naught, though 'twere a Barnacle:
This hinders not the profits of the Coy,
The smell of gain is sweet, Bon par ma foy.
CHAP. XXIV. Of the parts of Fowl.
THe bellies of all Fowl, brawny and tough,
Are of digestion long, and hard enough;
But master'd by the culinary fire,
They'r as good nutriment as you desire.
The wings of Geese in moistnesse do abound,
And so in Hens is the like juicenesse found;
Their constant motion makes them simply good,
An excellent and inoffensive food.
But oh the liver of the stubble Goose!
Set it before the grosse Vitellius,
Or Otho either, and this Emperour
Shall leave his glasse for it, 'tother his whore.
Wisdome of Cooks! oh arts of cramming Geese!
When Kitchin Machiavilian policies
Shall so contrive, that the attractive Liver
Shall starve all members to augment the liver,
And by devices Hyperphysicall,
Translate the Rickets from the head to th' caul.
Wonder in Caponry! but they grow plump
And fat, by stitching up the merry rump.
The necks of Geese and Hens, which we do cast
To th' dunghill, are an excellent repast;
Arabick dainties bought up by us of late,
By one, who on all City Feasts do wait,
Page 47The Factor of our Poultery gubbins, that
He may feed high his rare musk-making Ca•.
The wings of flying creatures do excell
The leggs of walking, motion doth expell
Superfluous humours: so Fowl cramm'd and pent,
Though they be fat, are not good nourishment:
I do abominate the City-glutton,
Fat Capon-fed, and shoulder of Mutton:
If that must be th'entertainment and the cheer,
Give me the barn-fed bird and mountaneer.
The Eunuchs of all Fowl are best, and so prevail
With us, they are no longer meat but Ale:
Cock is an English malt, and we drink Fowl,
What once was dish'd is now swigg'd up i'th' bowl,
So that we do not now those gluttons think,
Who Capons eat, but those who Capons drink:
Cock-broth, the Ladies sure confortive
Is gone, for China Ale doth keep alive;
Who can desire more? Physitians unde
Is this rare cure from Munday * untill Sunday.
The brains of Fowl, less viscous and less dry,
Are better then of walking Poultery,
Who are of temper ex opposito,
(That's clean contrary, if you do not know.)
The brains of infant-Starling, Partridge, Pheasant,
And Cocks and Hens (Sir Mammon judge) is pleasant.
CHAP. XXV. Of Eggs and their proprieties.
AS at Creation, so our book proceeds,
Hens before Eggs, perfection's in the deeds
Of the best best Opificer; he made
Nothing potentiall, perfect 'twas when said,
That Protoplastes the first species fram'd
Entire, nothing was impotent or maim'd
In its own essence, then he vertues gave,
Prolifick and conservative, to save
And propagate, which hid in seminall power,
Traduces the first work unto this hour;
The parent, not the chick, oviparous,
The mothers labour hatch'd in feather'd house
Of her own body, yet 't doth safer dwell,
And hath a cottage of its own, a shell:
Our subject is this Embrion in's cradle,
Both possible to live and to be adle,
Or damn'd to be devour'd before a tast
Of life, and into various coquery cast▪
Bred of (a) contagion of Sir Chanticlers,
Upon the bag prolifick, the case cleer,
And setled now in plain Anatomy,
'A spiritiz'd flavour gets, and egge, and me,
So that the cock-tread and the grosser sperm
(Which our old Philosophy affirm
Did generation raise) are onely here
The conduct and the warm conveyancer
Of this brave Monsieur, and Grand Signiour spright,
Whose warm Afflation does the work o'th' night:
This Egge I set before you, (Madam) sloth
Makes this poor Book Trencher and Table-cloth,
Page 49Not set in salt (unless of slender wit)
And though but small, yet a most dainty bit,
Of such vicinity with humane blood,
It strait incorporates, and i• quick food;
Especially the golden part, the * Argent is
Frigid and viscous, of Activities
Unequal much; so that in thi• white shell,
The Sun and Moon may be affirm'd to dwell:
The yolk's spermatick, like the gendring Sun,
The Eggs in watery efficacies run.
The Eggs of Hens and Partridges incite,
And those of Ducks are servient •o delight
(Though fouler nourishment.) The lay of Geese▪
Of odour bad, doth loathsomne•s increase,
Yet are pr•vocative; of Turkeys more,
Although the waddling treade•'s long, before
He act (the fu•bler of the Fowls) but mounted▪
This cobbling •ame••e is a *Signiour counted.
But hear what Rasis saith, and Avicen,
Most temperate the l•y's of the press'd Hen,
And Part•idges, so little losse i'th' food,
That weight for weight, the yolks convert to blood:
Boyl'd ra•ely, they digest a•ace: but hard,
They do digestion and themselves retard:
Ta•ne when the cackling Hen Alarum gives
Of her delivery, Restora•ives:
Immixt with Honey good for throats are sore;
And in Consum•tion• we their aid implore:
No flesh so nourishing and temperate:
Let those forbear them who are over fat;
Butter'd with Ambergriss a lusty meat,
V••ellius (le grosse) did often eat;
A Prince of a short reign, which amply shows,
Gluttons no fighters are, but for night blows.
CHAP. XXVI. of MILK.
KInsman to blood, but twice remov'd, in Breasts
Of Women pregnant, in Udders of Beasts
Elaborated, and the tincture white,
In Venis Lacteis, (unknown to sight,
Unless upon dissection) is made,
Which is this luke-warm Candidates parade.
It is of equal temper with our blood,
And having been so once, most proper Food:
Not dreadful when a Read-coat, and a friend,
When White-coat to our Ages * either end,
Its temper doth incline to moist and cold,
It wets, and fats: Those whom long Hecticks hold,
Or the dry Cough, or Urine sharpness pricks,
And those of Constitutions dry as sticks,
It benefits, and brings to temper just,
It foments blood, and the white stream of Lust:
'Tis of concoction quick, and gets the dye
(Whether the Liver or Veins sanguifie,
Or both, it matters not) which once it had,
White into red is no conversion bad.
Wherefore we say, in Feavers, are acute,
In pains oth' head, in Dropsies, and Scorbute,
And other cold Diseases, Milk forbear,
Though Io were the Cow, (and she was rare)
Of all that spend the Teat, the Milk of Cows
Is grossest, and most nourishment allows.
Who do desire Matho's bulk (to fill
A Coach alone) let him the Milk-pail swill.
Yet I have heard a Matho of our own
(By's surcingle of Sheeps-heads quickly known)
Page 51So huge a quantity of Milk did drink
(A Horse of water could not more I think)
Yet never was the fatter, nor would be
If he had eaten Cow, Milk-maid, and me.
Such Guts should be their mutual punishment,
And Marriot should have eaten Wood of Kent.
The Milk of Asses Avicen advises,
To give to all who labour of a Phthisis,
Or have bad Lungs. The Milk of Goats partakes
Of either temper, and a medium makes:
Such wonders are rehears'd of Goats, that if
You hear 'um you will hardly give belief;
The very hearbs they feed on turns to physick;
Give them specificks for the Cough or Ptisick,
The infusion is their Milk, and it retains
The vertue sans Apothecaries pains,
A living rare Pharmacopoeia, and
Not yet translated by Culpepper's hand.
The Milk of Sheep is worst, very unsound,
And doth with su•erfluities abound.
Milk boyl'd with Rice, or the like grain (and free
From its in••igidating quality)
Breeds wholesome blood, moistens belly and brest,
And to the bladder is a welcome guest.
And Buttermilk in Fluxes, and so Whey
Is excellent for Lactium tormina,
If in them you throw in burnt gad of steel,
You need no other Med'cine, they it heal.
Against diseases of the yellow Bi•e,
Nothing so soveraign, nothing so * vile.
Distempers of much Bacchus, and the Itch,
And yellow jaundice, Faces call'd the rich,
Are cur'd by these, and Butter that's unsalt,
By Fricacy doth remedy the fault
Page 52Of filthy morphy'd skins: Butter next grace
Is eaten first, eaten in the last place.
Then let not Hogens Mogeas only sing,
Bouter, Bouter is good for any thing.
CHAP. XXVII. Of CHEESE.
ALL Cheese is naught, saith the Salernitan,
The Fresh is cold and grosse, yet if a man
Be not of constitution cold, 'tis good,
A tolerable, but not commended food.
Old Cheese (as is its Age) is worse, or better
The tarter sort is hot, and burnes, a getter
Of extreme thirst, cals for the other Can,
Be it Holland, Chedder, or Parmizan.
Yet after meales a slender quantity
Corroborates the stomacks mouth, and by
The sharpness of the Rennet doth remove
All N••sea from them, who sweet mee•s love.
But scrap'd, as Dr. Buttler order'd Cheese,
(Who then a Buttler more can palat-please?)
'Tis excellent against most Surfeits, saving
No Sugar spoil the Cambro-britan shaving.
Ha, ha, Caus Day! yet our Arabians hold,
No Cheese is safe, whether it be new or old:
It loads the stomack's of digestion slow,
And if the Collick or the Stone you know,
Eat, and be sick, then leave't, if not too late,
Or if you'l eat, eat but a penny weight.
CHAP. XXVIII. Of FISHES.
FIshes are like their Element, and place
Wherein they live, both cold and moist, a •ace
Of flegmatick Creatures, yet they are meat
Whi•h dry, and cholerick tem•e•s may well eat;
And those who would look smug, or el•e snout-fair,
May take this live•-cooling di•h for fare.
In f••vid seasons, and in Climates hot
Use them: But if the Be••• the helm hath got,
Or under Charles his seven-starr'd heavy W•ne,
From this dull nourishment let them refraine▪
And pituitous bodies must fo•bea•,
Unless they like the Dropsie in the Reer.
The Sea-fish, and of those, they in Rocks dwell
Are finer, and in temperament excell,
Digest more easie, and breed better blood
Then the loose fry, that shoal it in the Flood:
Yet in the stomack and the entrails they
(Being little vi•cous) make too long a stay.
Sweet River-fishes slimy, and grosse diet,
Are glibbery, and make egression quiet,
More nourishing then Sea-fish, and of these,
Those (which the current streams and gravel please,
And do abhorre annoyances of sinks,
Which spoil their channels with their loathsome stinks)
Are most delicious, such as Pearch and ••out;
Your Mud-fish all incline you to the Gout.
But those delighting in sweet scowres refine
Their squamy sides, and clarifie their liue.
The Fi•• of Lakes, and Motes, and stagnant ponds
(Remote from Sea, or where no Spring commands,
Page 54And intermingling its refreshing waves
Is Tench unto the Mote, and Tenches saves,
And keeps them medical) are of all sorts
Lesse innocent, unless some River courts
The •ullen Nymph, and blending waters she
Of a foul Mops•'s made Leucothoe.
Her inmates otherwise, like her self, smell,
Tast of the Harbour (that is) scent not well;
Slow to digest: alive, they liv'd too close,
And dead they can't their native dulne•s lose.
Give me a Salmon, who with * winged Fins
'Gainst tide and stream •i•ks o're the fishing-gins
Of locks and Hives, and circling in a gyre
His v•ulting co••s, he leaps the basfled wyre.
Let Fish have room enough and their full play,
No liquor want, not on a Fish-street day.
But they are all meat indigestible,
Creating thirst, and spawn diseases well.
Take the lesse viscous, gracile, cleanly swimmer,
Smelling like S•elts, whose watry hutts are trimmer,
Then those of Pools and Ponds, or where on weed,
Or nasty Alga, and base hearbs they feed.
Salt Fish, Can you with patience, Brethren all,
Heare it, of Salters and Fishmongers Hall?
Salt Fish is never good, but on a day
When you a vomit take, and't may not stay:
Charge u•on charge, ten shillings cost to dine,
And h••f a Crown in Crocus and Squills Wine,
To cast it up again? whose will adore
My Arabian Doctors, o• Sir Theodore:
Vomits nor lead I like, the pendent bullet
Sh•ll never be the sweeper of my Gullet.
What I do eat, I do intend to keep,
By exercise digest, and little sleep.
Page 55But feed not like Sir Theodore for fear
Vomit nor bullet your o're-charg'd stomack clear.
The Barrel Codd, and courtly Pole of Ling,
Butter and Oyl marching in either wing,
And Rope-Canary on the Van and Reer,
Or Graves, or Bourdeaux in a glass for Beer
Bring on a Friday, storm Arabians then,
The River Shell-fish, and lesse Lobster-coats,
Crayfish and Crabbs that swim, as those in boats
Do row, are in a Pthisis singular
Boyled in milk oth' Beast of the long ear,
And for Consumptive persons made a Cale,
As much as *Colchis high fetch'd hearbs prevaile.
You have the Fish, pray fall on if you will,
Madam, the sauce shall not besowre the Bill.
CHAP. XXIX. Of PULSE or GRAIN.
WE take our rise from Rice, which we find dry,
•th' fourth, and moderate hot i•h first degree:
Boyl'd in fair water 'gainst the Collick good,
They call (the Windy) but a noble food
Boyl'd in the milk of Almon•s, which doth lose
Its ••iptick quality, then La•yes don't refuse;
The Candle-cup, they bravely nourish,
Caus•ng the blood, and seminal vertue flourish.
If that their Ladi••ips will make a wash
Again•t the Morphies, Ri•ie •lower •ash
In •ountain water, and this clean•ng grain
Shall clarifie the skin, and null the ••ain.
But you must ••ri• it from its husk, its Rind
Is venemous; and •lee t•in any wine,
Or water, •ain ith' mouth it doth create,
Saith Avicen, and will imposthumate.
Beans are of double sort, or dry, or green,
Those fo• your Bo••, these for your Boo•e• for-b•n▪
The g•een ith' 〈◊〉 degree are moist and cold;
But cold and dry in the•〈◊〉 height the old:
Bad nourishment an• filthy humors b•eed,
To a proverb •••ive, Ladies, take heed,
Beyon• th' excuse oth' Pu•py they exceed:
Creates by vapours on the inju•'d brain,
Malignant dreams, and our ch•st••e p•ofane.
The great white Bean in his minority,
Boyl'd in successive waters, happily
Page 57May be permitted, loose their Windiness
If boyld with Mint or Comine, you them dress
Both Flegmatick and Windy meat within
But the Bean-floor is excellent for the skin.
"Yet spight of Doctors, and when all is done
"We will make bold with Pulse at Thorington,
"And this stern Doctrine against Beans shall ne're
"Be held, nor gain repute in Leicestershire,
Nor yet in Somerset, where Odcombe, bred
Famous Tom Coriat, Pudding and Bean fed.
Lentils saith Rasis are both cold and dry,
Of temper middle others, so let't be
Bread, melancholy blood, lick up the juice
Of succulent bodies; spoil the visive use
By drying qualities, for Corpulent,
And persons flegmatick a cure present,
Us'd of• saith Isaac, fill with fumes the Brains,
And cause amazing dreams, and capital pains.
Ciches are of two sorts, one black, one white,
The white is hot i'th' first degree, thats right,
And moist i'th' middle site, hard to digest
Causing inflamation in the puffed breast.
Dilate the skin, as 'twere upon the wrack
Eat (horses) then, untill your bellies crack,
And look most fair, and plump and round
Fillet and Cascoines will lite, and sound,
The black Ciche is more hot, of moysture less
Against obstructions of the Sp•een redress
And liver opilatio•s, boyled, best,
In horse reddish, it raiseth milk supprest;
Vrine provoks, and the Spermatick vein,
A great increase by this stout Pulse doth gain:
Wherefore to Stallions tis a generous food,
And makes them active for that noble brood.
Peases (saith Arnoldus) are not much unlike,
Wherefore some eat them, bravely by the Strike.
Page 58Then Beans less windy, nor so smoothly pa••
The ventricle, lookin the Herbal glass
Gerards, and Iohnsons mirror, and their Pease
Will every longing eye that sees them please.
I have a friend that loves them, had a Tutor
Would eat three mess without a coadjutor.
Obedience the efore and affection move
Not to dispraise, what two such wise men love.
CHAP. XXX. Of Herbs and Plants.
HElp Pauls-church-yard our Physick garden now,
(And let Tredeskin no more simples shew.)
Where simpling Girles, and simpler Women stand
To sell the gathered Herbage of the Land.
Medaea when she took her flight i'th' air
Cull'd not so great ingredients, nor so rare▪
Hither Apothecaries, hither hast
Chi'rgians, and Midwifes (busie Quacks at last)
And decay'd gallants, Lords of Lands are passant,
And Sequestred Divines buy up the grass out.
The Ewe, sad Box and Cypress (solemn trees)
Once Church-yard guests (till burial rites did cease)
Give place to Sallads, and confin'd Apollo
Trades in these Plants, that do hereafter follow▪
Ladies secure your Noses, for I bring
Garlick my first high sented offering.
It's temper hot and dry, whatsoere doth sent
So strongly is of such a temperament,
Page 59It warms cold bodies, hot anoys, expells
Wind, and such vapors from the bodys cells.
It doth incite to lust, an opener high,
And in a Tertian makes the cold fit flye.
A Lohoc, thats a Lambative, of this
Deserves a sanum & expertum; tis
Rare against Coughs, obstructions thick
Extenuates, and cuts (ye but a lick
Administred upon a liquorish stick
For hotter Regions naught, but where the Bear
Rules, tis a lusty, nasty, warming fare.
The Ploughmans Treacle, and sole Antidote,
Let in the Patient, cure him for a groat.
Its filthy Hogon is corrected thus
Bo••it, tis not so odoriferus.
Lentills or Beans eat after it do lay
The strong Mephitis, Mints will take't away
"But oh the proof of Mowers intrailes, which
"Digest this Plant, as well as Horses Cich.
Sorrel (saith Rasis) is both hot and dry,
Gerard doth say it cools (undoubtedly)
Exasperates the stomack, by which fight
It moves it to a grateful appetite,
In Summer season a most delicate sauce,
In which the taste doth mightily rejoyce
And us'd with many meats: But when Saint Luke
Appears once i'th' now un-red-letter'd book,
The salted leggs, and springs of slaughter'd Swine
With Sorrel sauce do make us rarely dine.
To those abound with yellow choler good
And quencheth thirst (especially that o'th' Wood)
If p•ssessed, th• inflamed blood retreats
From pestilent Feavors, Agues, and all heats.
What vertue have the seeds if you do ask?
Drunk in red wine, their good against the Las•.
Page 60Now (Montebancks English, or 〈◊〉de France)
Its juice (old Avicen) doth high advance
And saith against the Tooth Ach tis as sure
As any Causticks or your handkerchieff cure.
Diu's hot and dry, saith Isaack, refines
Ventosities, and Tumors, stept in wines
The top's of Dill dryd, and decocted, raise
The candid flood i'th' via lacieas.
Cleansing and causing milk, and doth remove
Its windiness, Nurses, and Mothers love.
Provoketh urine, is to sperm a friend,
And puts the mounting Hickets to an end,
So do the seeds smell't to: Hippocrates.
Confounds the Hicquets with a lusty sneeze,
For by that violent stomach-quake, all meat
(That lay offensive there) doth change its seat;
Sunned, or boyld in oyl, it mitigates
Great pains, and shuts up Morpheus heavy gates,
Allaying vapors, that disturb the head,
And makes us take the other napp at bed,
No less affective is this precious Dill
If boyld in wine against the Matrix ill.
It doth disperse those clouds, with choak, and smuther
The uterm vault, called (but not making) mother.
This Laus Rei hitherto now comes
Who'd think could hurt? its vitupexiums.
All humane good is mixt; wherefore be wise
Use not daily, for it spoils the eyes.
Smallage, or Garden Parsley, or that which
Delights in waters, or the banks o'th' Ditch.
Is hot, and dry, but yet the little seed
Above the leaves i'th' qualities exceed.
A mighty opener of obstructions tough,
And smooths the way o'th' ureters, when rough,
Page 61Provokes that serious tide, much more the root
Boyld in a Broth, doth put the bladder to't.
The root, or seeds in clysters help alone
To evacuate, if not contuse the stone.
It lays the torment of the guts, which may
Be done by Epsam-beer or else by Whey.
Most excellent in sauces, and in broth,
Parsley, and butter, and the Table cloth,
Are half the charge of a Fish dinner; so
It is good, and bad sauce, the caveat know.
Then as in Ruartaines tis, and Agues seen,
It opens Liver stoppages, and spleen.
So to the Vintners most assiduous curses,
It will set open wide your Fish-day purses
Amongst its mischiefs that, and this shall lye
Its very hurtful to the Epilepsie.
"Which sickness is more dangerous of late
"To fall i'th' street, or Tavern-fall i'th' State?
Or age, or Oruch (for both words do hold)
Are moyst in degree second, in first cold,
A Kitchin Garden Herb, for the pot chief,
But Boyld a Sallad, bellies bound relief,
Nourish, and Livers hot gently asswage,
And raw, or sod allay a guttural rage,
Or inflammation in the throat, withall
The seeds in Meath drank, cure th' Icterical.
Parsneps are of a Temper hot, more dry
Then moyst, and nourish well, not dainty,
A thicker blood create, but yet not bad,
A root spermatick makes a Scotchman mad,
Inflative too, correct them then with Pepper,
It is no Dulman, no nor nimble leaper
Out of the stomack, but makes wholesome stay,
And for the Stagnant Vrine ridds the way.
Page 62Beets are of divers colours, white, black, red,
According to their hues so tempered,
The white are moderately moist; and hot
A garden herb good for the pottage pot.
The red, and black more hot, abstersive all;
Because compound of n•tro•s stuff, and sal,
Whence their vertue Diergertick's, sed
To purge by its *Emunctory the head,
Good against sounds i'th' ear, and the tooth ach,
And doth the Cupidinean locks unlach.
But oh the riot of the Roman. Beet
With such a Sallad their Grand Signior treat▪
Rub up your noddles my brave English Cooks
And make our red Beet; that excells in looks
Excel in taste: what can't your wisdoms do
With Oyl and Vinegar, and Pepper too.
Make it an Antidote (my cunning men)
And then you jump with Father Avicen.
Borage is hot and moist, i'th' first degree,
Or set i'th' confins of each quality.
Both hot and cold, in its natural poise so just,
That neither temperature exceeds it trust.
A Plant ad Pondus (as they say) and where
You find such ballance, the proportions rare.
The vertues eminent: Have you no courage?
At any time revive your soul with Borage.
That Azure flower hath in't a soveraign gift,
And when a Sallad can the heart up lift.
Good against either choler, red or black
(Infus•d in wine de France, or nobler Sack.)
Sirrup of Borage will make sad men glad,
And the same sirrup doth restore the mad.
A rare receipt for Bedlam, under deck,
Prisoners, or my companions under se•▪
Colo•orts are hot, and of a nitrous juice
By the first they bind, by th' latter, loose,
Page 63The broth is laxative, there runs the Salt,
Eat, without broth their stiptick, there's their fault.
To make it unmalitious boyl the cole
In fountain water, cast it away whole,
Then in a broth, where vertuous pouder Beef
Is boyld, boyl that, Cato shall cry it chief
Of meats, with which he will most amply dine,
And frolick it, and lick the lusty wine
That to his Crambe, Caulis, or our coles
His bellies debtor, and his jobbernole.
For Colewort is an enemy toth' vine,
And can our wits wine forfeited refine.
Then Socrates, and Cato fear no baggage
Nor scold, take to'ther bottle, to'ther Cabbage.
It is for shaking hands, and dim eyes good,
Forgive one fault of melancholy blood.
What though its windy, Pepper will reform
That tempest, and appease its flative storm.
Onyons are hot and dry, i'th' fourth degree
But Garlick doth exceed i'th' quality.
Onyons are chopt into three several sorts,
And never a one hath any good reports.
As to our diet purpose boyld their best,
Raw eaten worst, but with Vinegar dre••▪
They neither heat nor cool, saith Rasis, how?
When Vinegar both vertues doth allow?
So ordered, they inflame not unto thirst,
But raise an appetite, the Carriers first
And onely sauce, his snuff, for the squ••'d juice
From's glanderd brains the humor will produce.
(Good for his Teem and him) with Vinegar
Immixt, it will the spotted Cutis clear.
Provoks to sleep, so that your drowsie pate
Is call'd most pat, an Onyon head of late.
But yet beware, my friends of sleep, and night,
Tis good to shut your eyes, but nought for sight.
Page 64It dulls the senses, doth infect the breath;
O do's it so! away with it tis death.
The Gourd (saith Avicen) is hot and dry
(Like the wild *Ci•rul on its quality.)
In degree second, and its vertues, these,
It purgeth yellow choler, disagrees
With Melancholy; wine all might i'th' Gourd
That hath been hous'd, purgation will afford.
Much like our Melon, if they stand, and thrive,
Are good to make the body laxative.
Dioscorides saith, that the gourds juice
Held in the mouth, will ease to the pain produce
Of Tooth-ache. Bitter it is of Taste: know
Most things that are of special▪ good, are so.
Cumin is hot and dry, saith Rasis, good
Against wind i'th' stomach; after food
Taken a help at Maw, thats to concoct,
By'ts seeds dr•nk Matrix▪ and the guts unlock't.
From the pain colick•s the result is
The very same by clyster or by Pultis.
With Vinegar immi•t, the overflows
Call'd menstruall are repuls'd, and bloody nose.
Secundum artem handled it asswages
Whatsoever swelling• in the scortum rages,
And Genitals, 'tis good for Gouty joynts,
And the procedure of it disappoints.
Boyld with inflative meats, a remedy
Against their Genuine ventosity.
What would you more? there's not a nurse nor slut
But knows tis good gainst Worms i'th' maw and gut.
Coming again we shall more vertue find
Those whom the Pl•urisie, or stich do grind,
Let them a bag of Cummin seed, and sal
(Le-Bay) quil up and warm them all to mal.
Page 65Besprinkled well with good wine Vineger
And hot applyed to th' side oth' sufferer,
It is probatum, and will save well nigh
The Pl•u•us noted help, Plebotomy.
Fennel is hot, and dry i'th' third degree,
The seeds or leaves in P••san made, the dry
Breasts do replenish, and those hills of silk
And snow, refurnish with the purest milk;
Made a decoction they cleanse the reins,
Open the Liver, and the kidney lanes.
Do force the stone, and urine to avoid.
And hath C•t•dian Feavors oft destroy'd.
By die•retick faculty, now tell
The verses made on Oxford Holowell.
"No man will hurt this well, thats wise,
"For this hurts none, but cures the eyes.
So Fennel, Roses, V•r••n, Rue, and Celandine
Made a water will do good unto thy eyes and mine.
And to such persons cover to be lean,
Fen•cularis aqua, scowres them clean.
Hysope is hot saith Rasis, and if eaten
Or into powder with some mixtures beaten
Good for the dark of sight: A water made
With this and Figs by th' skillful in the trade,
Gurgl•d, doth unimpostumate the thro•,
And when by rheumes a difficulty's got
Of swallowing, the streightned passages
To this decoction yeilds, and the stops cease
Lettuce is cold to th' end oth' third degree,
With us a Sallad of high dignity;
Loaf'd, and unwasht is best, cooles the chaf't blood,
For sperme, for milk, for generation good.
But not the seeds, they'r of a quali•y
Anterostical, thats quite contrary,
It doth provoke to urine and to sle•p,
Naught for Letharg•ck pa•es: this Sallad keep.
Page 66And till the Spring, its usual leaves produce,
Its kindred Corn-Sallad shall be in use.
Mints in degree the second, hot and dry
I'th' third, saith Gerard, of fam'd memory.
If smelt unto Pliny the Historian writes
The duller appetite to eat excites.
Confortative to stomack, we commend
It in burnt Claret at a vomits end.
It stays the Hi•quets, Parbrake, and the scowre
By choler made in ventricle the lower
Taken in juice of sowre Pomegranats: So
In Vineger if upward blood do flow.
In broth if boyld, Senior Pliny writes,
It stays the blood profluvium, and the whites
Good against Watry-eye, and scurfie head,
Of children, and any tumor therein bred.
With Honey and Spring water mixt it cleers
Absurd obstructions of surda•ter ears
Infus'd in milk, against a mad dogs bite,
Tis good for man, but hang the dogg out right.
Boyled in wine, and vineger, alone
It cures the strangury and Kidneys stone
Against the stings of Waspes applied, and Bees
Tis good. I would there were no worse then these?
Cresses though in the water do lye,
Yet are of temp'rament most hot, and dry,
Especially the seeds to th' fourth degree
A Sallad, mixt with Herbal company,
Virgils moretum makes it one of those
Herbs, which do sting with its sharpe bite the nose.
*Tis good against Scarbute, or Scorbuch,
Be the disease old English, or new Dutch.
It warms the stomack, and the Liver clears
A• by the cure afore full well appears.
Page 67For gainst the Scorbute nothing is so good
As that which by its vertue cleers the blood,
It cures the worms i'th' belly, not the head,
Not in a sheeps, wherein a long ones bred.
Good for the stomack saith the Arab Rasis,
But Dioscorides the herb disgraces,
As to that vigor, but commends its power
For expediting off the bloody scower,
And though it hurts the early Embryo
It doth provoke to that, which * made it so:
Poppy is white, and black, of this doth come
The high Nercotick, dulling Opium:
The whites more candid, and more la•dable,
This causeth sleep, that death (saith Pliny well)
Poppy both seed, and leaves, and heads are cold▪
Stays Rheumes a cerebro: Be not too bold
However with't, unless it tempered be
With good allays, then tis a Remedy
Not dangerous: Beware, best Lady, still
Of herbs, that do some good, but greater ill.
Of this is made rare Diacodium,
The wand of Mercury, and Morpheus drum,
When sharp diseases, and malignant Feavor,
Disturb your rest (as I could wish it never)
A Poppy cawdle made with Almond-cream
Shall bind the senses, and incline to dream.
Parsley is hot i'th' second, dry i'th' third
Degree: By it the stagnant urin's stirr'd,
And femal courses fixt do finde their way
And the red tide obeys her Cynthia.
The seeds are hotter then the leaves or Root,
They open, are abstersive, and drive out
Aeolian Blasts, and stomack-tearing-toind,
And them expel at fore door, or behind.
Page 68I• is as helpful to the stone, and gaines
Credit upon the bladders grief, and reins.
The cholick passion is appeas'd: The doors
The little doors 'oth body cal'd the Pores,
It opes by sweat, and makes transpire such vapours
As fume the house, like ill extinguisht tapers.
It purifies the Liver; made an oyl
It cures the Morf•e, and the speck'd skins soyl
Boyled in Ale the roots and seeds have got
A •ame 'gainst poysons, are an Antidote,
And for its common use, theres scarce a dish
Without this sauce to your quaint Flesh or Fi•h
Leeks, or but leek with number singular
E'ne which you like, hot, and dry temper'd are?
Rasis commend•, and discommends the plant
It is the Appetites friend to its provant
But enemy to th' head which it doth pain
And fills with dreams malignant the fum'd brain,
If that the Fountain of the Body's ill
(The head I mean) let Leeks grow where they will
Except on thy brest-plat. But if youl' need
Upon this great Extenuator feed,
Eat them with Endives, Purslane, Lettuces
Charge of a sallad will his heat appease
Made in a Lohoc, or a loch, with Figs
With Bdellium, almonds (tell me Dr Trigs
Must they be blanch'd or no?) with liquorice▪
A quantum sufficit, in short R S.
With candid sugar, Ana, and these all
Boyl'd in a Balneo, till Syrrupical,
Against Catarrhes, and suffocating Rheumes
And squinances a power it assumes.
Madam you'l thinke I cant, or little lack
Of Iohn Pontaeus, or an English Quack
The Emperour Nero cal'd Parrophagus
That's Leek devourer, eat them like a sus,
Page 96That's like a swine, which is the cause I think
His memory unto this day doth stink
Purslane is cold 'ith degree third, and moyst
In second: For stomacks by much wine deboyst
And high inflam'd is good, and extream thirst
Purslane will quench (when if your belly burst.
With water, 'twill not slake) and for your tooth
Aking or edge, the leaves are good forsooth
The faemal fluxe, and of Bile*rubea
Or any flux of blood the juice will stay
If by a syringe you the same minister
It cures the Matrix heats, the Guts by Glister;
And Avicenna a new vertue starts
That the leaves rub'd are med'cine 'gainst the Warts,
The Butchers 'gainst the Herb-wives seek relief
And think that Purslane will put down raw beefe
Radish is hot, and dry, a sauce of course
Both that cal'd biting, and that called horse,
Both heavy of digestion, both excite
Before and in the Meal the appetite
The leaves are more digestive then the root
Which is a vomit, with some oxymel to't
It cuts the Flegme, and by it's gravity
Like cheese▪ it make our victuals downward ply
Water of Radish, or horse radish Ale
Is good for urine, and provokes to stale,
But leaves a ••gou so distastful I
Wish that my nose, my palat were not nigh
The root with Darnel, meal and vineger
Of wine de-••anch, blew and black speeks do's clear
That mixt with salt (saith Dioscor•des)
Will milk in dryed paps, and teats increase▪
Secundum artem ordered makes away
For the descension of the menstrua
Page 70And mixt with Vinegar hath good dispatch
Against Hodontalgia, or Tooth-ach.
And without Rasis, or Hippocrates
Rind on, and off, is eaten with green cheese
Turnep (saith Isaack) 's moyst i'th' first degree
And •ot i'th' second, a good quality.
Nature consists in hot and moyst. We fall
When fire licks up the humor Radical.
Then Turneps eat, which though they ill digest,
Of Garden roots they are accounted best.
It makes the skin fair as it self, and raises
That Plimme, and somewhat more, and yet more praises
For Spermatick recruits it gets, they'r all
Good, long, the small, or round, which bears the ball.
The sheets or tender topps for Sallads use,
Boyled, they do belye Asparagus:
The Commentator (if he guesseth right)
Affirms they have a vertue good for sight.
And Pliny (natures great Philosopher)
Saith, boyld, to frigid feet they heat confer.
I hold with Pliny, and almost dare swear
My foot a boyld Turnep will not bear.
But what saith Dioscorides, alone
A Turnep stamp'd is for Kib'd heels for-bone,
To made an Oven for the oyle of Roses
To rost in Embers, is the best of doses.
Then Turneps, * cry man, East, North, West and South,
And when they'r sold, with wheelbarrow stop thy mouth.
Rue is both hot and dry, i'th' third degree,
At its approach flys cold ventosity,
And clogging humors jogge, it doth remove
The sent from those Garlick and Onyons love.
The Herb (like Sampier pickled) helps the sight,
But so, or not so eat, spoiles Cupids fight.
Page 71In Pestilential times like these, if you
Do love your safety, stuff your nose with Rue.
Who can deny what Pliny then attests,
The leaves in wine are Antidote o'th' best.
The water thrice distill'd, the kidneys cleanse,
And send all sand incontinent, from thence.
Sage is of temper hot, and dry, the School
Salernitan, concludes him for a fool
That dyes with Sage in garden. Tis a herb
Of vertue singular to a Proverb.
And in its name are high auspicia
Healthful and soveraign that is *Salvia.
Let those who to Abortions subject are
Make this same prudent herb their constant fare,
And what it doth post Partum, for the next
Consult Agrippas, and Aetius text,
Good for the Matrix, and its tenant, naught
For the person, who, that to lodge there brought.
And bridles natures itch: Good for the Brains,
And head, and senses, which the head contains.
And how in Ale infus'd, and brew'd, we cry
It up, with Scabius, Fennel, Betony,
Apothecaries shops can tell, whose trade
During these Sage Ale morning draughts doth fade.
The juice, as well as any black lead Combe
Where white hairs are, will make the black ones come.
And Macer saith, that Pulveris'd, it takes
Away the venemous bites of poysonous Snakes.
How in our late malignant Feavors we
Account Sage possets a grand remedy,
The Country cures can speak: Then for a stich
Or Pleurisie tis poormans cure, and rich
If in a wooden dish with coals the leaves
Be dry'd, Vineger aspers'd, it nere deceives.
No maid nor man Cook (unless fool by Age)
Will dress a Pigg and not i'th' sauce have Sage.
Page 62Spinach is cold and moyst, so temperate,
The lungs, the throat, the stomach gratulate.
This wholesome pot herb, which doth exercise
His lonosing vertues 'gainst the bellies ties.
Will it untie the bound? such recipes
Restrained persons will extreamly please.
•t breeds but little, yet good nourishment
We give't in Feavors to a good intent,
And with as good success, if you herbs mate
Alike, both open, and Refr•gerate.
Mushroms, or Toadstools, off-spring of the earth,
Or else of Trees a puffy spungy birth.
Are unto danger cold and moyst, if eat,
And raw cold pituitous blood beget.
Those whose concavities are red, are worst,
Let those feed on them to the Colick curst.
Pepper and Oyl, and Salt, nay all Cooks Art
Can no way wholsemness to them impart.
What Doctor Butler said of Cucumber,
Of these ground-bucklers, we the same aver.
Dress them with care, then to the dunghil throw'um
A hogg wont touch um, if he rightly know um.
Toadstools are worse then Mushromes of the ground,
And with a poysonous quality confound:
A pappy, viscous, gross, cold substance can
Here finde no praise, nor i'th' Salernitan:
These four are signs of Death, saith Isaack,
(An old Arabian, and no late-sprung Quack)
Which if you cut i'th' middle, and let lye
Till morn, you shall their putrid state descry.
But oh the praises of the Roman wits:
Meat for the gods, the Emperors choise bits.
Poets and Cooks are friends, and no• at odds▪
I joyn, and say they'r meat too for such gods.
CHAP. XXXI. And first of FIGS.
PReposterous! Figs before Apples plac'd,
The Diet's false, and all the Work disgrac'd.
Who marshals in the fruit? a Squire, 't may be,
But yet no Apple-squire you plainly see.
A fig for such a Squire: Madam, with leave
You shall our Reasons for our Figs receive.
'Both are coaevous fruits of Edens earth,
'The Fig and Apple don't contend for birth;
'Onely the Apple, to one Sexes shame,
'Had the misfortune of the leading name.
That fruit is inauspicious to your kind,
And purposely I plac'd the dish behind,
Lest being percht into the upper place,
You would not think't a Banquet, but disgrace:
Think you I should quick Atalanta please
With golden Apples, whilst Hippomanes
With Laurel crown'd, revives the fatal story
Of her deluded soul and long lost glory?
Give place then exprobrating fruit, and come
Thou Cover-shame, old Fig-tree, in the Room:
Though men of all the fruit, that hangs o'th' tree,
Should love none less for your obscurity:
For by its leaves we lost the precious sight
Of that which is the masculine delight.
Figs, either green or dry, do cleanse the sand
From that streight Quarter, where the reins command.
Windy when green, but then are laxative,
Dry they do nourish, make the body thrive,
And warm the blood, but an excessive use
('As all exceedings turn unto abuse)
Page 74Does cause the Itch and Lice, but yet you may
Give Wormwood in a Fig, for all I say.
So much saith Rasis, hear what Isaak saith,
(For a few Figs y'have two Physitians, faith.)
If that you eat them fasting, when all's clear,
And no crude humours in the stomack reer,
They make digestion noble, cleanse the breast,
The lungs, the reins, and stones(a)membranous nest,
Hath it no other vertue? this in summe,
Roasted 'tis good for an impostum'd gumme.
Dates are in temper like to Figs, that's dry
And moist, but nourish not (so cleverly,
As we may say) if often eat, they cause
Gross blood, and both infect the teeth and jaws;
Provoke to urine, but do swell the S•leen
And Liver, and the blood turn all to flegm.
Still worse and worse; then take them Oxford Kate
For Marrow-pies, with me they'r out of date.
Grapes are less hot then Dates, a luscious fruit,
And its alliance blood doth streight recruit,
Fattens the body, and extends one part,
For which we need not wicked helps, nor Art.
The thinner coated Grapes do the less harm,
And though themselves be slender clad, will warm.
They all are windy, so are bellows, yet
Both these and they will fires and flame beget.
The sweet Grape fattens, and the sharp makes lean,
Infrigidates, if steep'd in water clean.
Sowre Grapes are very cold, the belly bind,
By them the yellow bile and blood's confin'd.
P•e•s'd Grapes and Raisons are of temperate heat,
A nourishing fruit, plau••ble and neat;
Good 'gainst ob••ructive coughs, and in a Phthisis,
Steept a whole night in Sack do strange devices.
Fruit of Granado, or Pomgranates, are
Both sweet and sowre; both small nourishers▪
Page 75The sweet are rather hot then cold, dispence
Swellings and thirst, to Agues an offence.
The sowre-sharp Granate cooleth, dries, and binds,
Those flux-oppress'd his noble vertue finds:
In Morbus Cholera a present cure,
'Gainst either evacuation sure,
Then Syrrup, Conserves, make with Art, and know
It is ubique good above, below:
And in the •aundice, if its juice you try,
None shall say long, that yellow is your eye.
Quince, or Cydonean apple's cold and dry,
Like to the former (a)Punick in degree.
Second, o•sweet, or sowre, they'r binders stout,
The sow•e are most restrictive without doubt;
They rouze the appetite, they bind and loose:
How's that? both fast and loose? we will us pose▪
The empty stomack it doth bind, you'l say
It night▪ where nothing is to send away.
But ea• Quince after a full meal, anon
It shall 〈◊〉 down and send to m' uncle •ohn:
Raw not so good as roast, or bak•d, by Art
It i• convey'd in every Apple-tart;
Costive by quality, and therefore is Elixir,
Where Vomitings▪ o•Lasks, or bloody flix are:
Against immoderate Me•ses good, and •uch
Who blood from head, or stomack vomit much.
But hear what Simeon Sethi sayes, if woman
Pregnant, do make of Quinces a food common,
She shall bring forth wise and discreet sons;
'Eat Quinces, Ladies, bring forth Solomons.
Peares are all cold, of binding quality,
Both sweet and sowre, and choak-pear belly-tie,
Unle•s in post-ca•es eaten, then they do
As Quinces, which like them are costive too:
Eaten with Toad-stools, or with Mushromes, they
Lose their restringency, and pass away.
Page 76Eight sorts of civil Pears, beside the wild,
Gerard hath told in's Herbal well compil'd,
The Katherine call'd the proud; and James his Pear,
The Burgomot, or the Palati•er,
The Royal Pear, and Bishops Pear, and had
He found a Lower-house pear (though ne're so bad)
I durst profess •ohnson, and he had meant
To make of Pears, and Peers a Parliament:
Apples, saith Rasis, are restringent all,
Both sweet and sowre; the Salern School will call
Th' Arab to account, since 'tis d•ctatum,
'Post pyra da po•u•, post pomum vade cacatum.
Gocl•vius help to reconcile this Pique,
Or else we must no more of Apples speak
Then thus; Apples are windy, if you eat
Them with Annise seeds, or such like good meat;
So Apples spic'd, and made a good Lambs wooll,
(As saith Salerna) set us to the stool.
Sweet smelling Apples are restorative,
Pluckt from their mother they do shorte• live▪
Bak'd in a Pie with Quinces 'mongst them cut,
They do the appetite to's business Put.
But frequent eating weakeneth the nerves,
Unless you use the syrrup or conserves:
I have a * Doctor's, and a learned one
'S word for't, that eat, they mitigate the stone:
So though an Apple were the first fruit ill
It keeps the Ladies at their closets still.
'An excellent revenge, for this bad food,
'By your rare skill preserv'd, conserv'd, is good.
Peaches are cold and moist in degree second,
A very fruitless fruit, and dangerous reckon'd:
If eaten after meat, it hath a quality
Corruptive, and the chile doth putrifie,
Page 77In Sack imbib'd, what will not Sack make good?
They are admitted, but before your food.
Unripe they'r costive, Ripe they'r laxative:
'No man by Peach (in any sense) did live;
The Peach D' Avant, that's call'd praecocia,
And in the Roman tongue called Persica,
Are •alatsome, the nausea's abated
By them, 'tis fit the fruit should be translated.
Medlars, saith Isaac, are both cold and dry
I'th' first degree, fam'd for astringency:
Especially Medlar the dwarf, procure
The Gyant-Medlar, that's a Hector sure.
Strengthens the stomack, and like Hercules
Allayes the tumults and the raging seas
Of yellow Bile, by two commotions,
The G•zzards glimmering call'd in strange notion,
A report goes, saith Dioscorides,
That Medlars eaten do the tooth-ach ease.
Gerard assures, that by the kernels bruis'd
Gravel and urine's purg'd, the stone contus'd:
Thy English(a)nick-name doth so much divine;
But were it so, the Drug gifts would repine.
Aprecocks in my Authors are not found,
I shall transplant them from our Gerards ground:
Alike in nature to the Peach, so may
Praecocia be the same with Praecoqua.
We'r at a loss, Iohnson and Gerard both
Know not their vertues (no nor I in troth.)
'Preserve on Ladies, howsoe're, 'tis good
'Presum'd, untill 'tis hurtfull understood.
Citrons, Pomecitrons, Lemons, Oranges,
Are odoriferous and the scent please,
Whether from Eden, Media, or Italy,
Or his dominions, on whom both Suns lye;
Page 78The Catholick Kings Hispania's, they proceed
The Earth don't rarer fruit nor fragrant breed;
Delitious to the eye, sweet to the nose;
'Tis thought the fruit that Adam did depose
From his high Paradise, un•o•thy wa•e,
'And sad exchange! had it been ne're so rare:
Lets search it▪ ve•tues, for our Mother Eve
Its outside glory could not so deceive:
Though by the eye much mischief is conveigh'd,
'Those eyes, those eyes, cry'd the just yielding Maid.
Then what magnetick force convinc'd that soul,
Which did the Monarch of the World controul,
And mov'd his ca•tiv'd •a••ions to a deed,
Hath set an edge his long traducted seed?
Was it the Rinds •weet smell? My Py••ha* knew
'Twas bitter, hot, and dry for all its h•e)
'Children are caught with Pictures: Vas't the juyce?
My Grandam knew 'tw•s sowre, and knew its use;
Knew the seed bitte•, of like quality
With the odorous rin•s; she would not dye
For Coloquintida; what though she knew
It had hid vertue poyson to subdue?
Ah but the venom of that crafty Beast
That circled 'bout he Tree, and stung her breast
Wo•se then the 〈◊〉 did Cleo•atra: not
Mi•h idatu•, Tri•cles, not Antidote
Sufficient to ex•el: He whisper'd Death,
And conv•igh'd H•ll in a soft, gentle, b•eath,
Lesse could the ho•es of kee•ing ever fair
(For Citron juyce, for that is highly rare)
Corru•t her judgment, whose tran•parent skin
Was glass unto her nobler thoughts within.
'That is the least of Beauty, that o'th •lass;
'But since her fall, is all that's left alass!
No the same Ap•le by its Proxie told
Of s•range Omniscience,* Never being old:
Page 79'These were sure baits; since 'twas her fate to fall,
'She fell not like a Fool; 'twas gallant all.
Mulberryes, cold and dry i'th third degree,
Ri•e make the belly moi•t, and lenifie,
Passe quickly out of stomack, or else have
A pu•refaction, and there find a grave.
Their juyce is like the tast of Wine, and will
Asswage the heat of any guttural ill:
With Album graecum mix'd, and gargled, cure
Again•t Squinancies, and throat-Calenture.
Infus'd in Fountain-water thirst remove,
Ta•ne before meat th' appetite improve.
By stiptick quality they'r very good
Against all Fluxes of luxuriant blood.
Madam, let none offend this prudent Tree,
Which blooms not till old Winters gusts do flye;
Reserves its juyce within its principal,
Wise as the Creature which it feeds; for all
The bitter season of the year, his guest
The Silk-worm keeps within its downy nest,
And when Provisions on the Tree appear
He doth unwind himself, and fals to's chear:
So may your Ladyship passe out of dore,
And feed on them under a Sycamore,
Which with umbratile leaves will let no Sun
Hurt your Silk-gown, by its namesake Creatures spun.
Plumms, saith old Isaac, are both black, and white,
And red, and many colour'd for delight:
They'r cold in general, and moist, do loose
The belly, yellow Bile drive out o'th house.
If eaten, as we use at Barthol'mew-tide,
Hand over head, that's without care or guide,
There is a Patient sure; Physitians sums
Have never quicker Counters then these Plums.
If you will needs be at it before Dinner,
Eat and be regular, no Diet-sinner:
Page 80Or else they putrifie, and breed diseases;
Wherefore in times of Plague it alwayes pleases
The prudent Magistrate t' inhibit fruit,
And Dogs and Hogs, which all are helpers to 't.
The Damson or plum Damascene is best,
Plums that are dry'd give to a welcome Guest.
But if I sup or dine, it well shall please,
If that the Buttle• eat those Services.
Cherries (who'd think it! Yeomanry of Kent
It is enough to lose your half years rent)
Are all unwholsome, generate bad blood,
Viscous and flegmatick, a feavorish food.
The tarter tasted are the best, although
The sweeter at a greater price do go.
But Galen in his sage formality
Must yield, if Round-cap Cherry ripe do cry.
Almonds; the sweet are temperate, the bitter
Better, and for Physical uses fitter:
Their moderate heat and oyly juice
Doth lenifie the throat, yet they refu•e
To pass the stomack, unless sugar'd well;
Then urine and obstructions they expel,
And sperm augment: unskinn'd they nourish worse,
Their coats, like b•an, a passage for them force.
Skinn'd they are stiptick, and •erform good task,
When order'd against bloody Flix and Lask.
The bitter, hot and dry, are wholsomer,
Dissolve gross humours, cleanse the ureter,
Expectorate and sweep the clogged lungs,
And mundifie the S••leen, and Liver dungs.
Their oyl for many uses serve, get grace
For keeping terse the Ladyes skins and face:
Page 83In Physick more successful; so we shall
Not give our Almonds only unto * Pal.
Nuts are dry whorsons, though the Tree complain,
Shee's thwack'd and bang'd by every Country-Swain;
'Tis not without a Fault, by Virgil's leave,
Who did the Nut an innocent fruit conceive.
For sim•ly of themselves they do great harm,
Are most obstructive, and in stomacks warm
And chol•rick ingender fumes, and make
The pate virtiginous, and deadly ake.
Infus'd in Sack, their mended quality's
Approv'd, who wo'nt in Walnuts sacrifice
An afternoon to Bacchus, if it rain,
And moistned skies offend the studious brain?
But Nuts, two Figs, and twenty leaves of Rue,
And Salt contunded, (give the Devil his due,
He is a Nutter too) will expel poyson;
N•y, taken fasting keeps off all that's noysom.
In Hazel-nut, or Filbe•d, cold and dry
Of temper, doth a windy moysture lye,
Which yeilds but little nourishment, so tough,
It will not passe the stomack soon enough,
But lies like bullet, or small shot of lead,
Yet u•on these the vulgar sort do feed.
And at the Play houses, betwixt the Acts,
The Musick Room is drown'd with these Nut-cracks;
Whose kernels made into a milk do bind,
But of themselves the contrary we find,
And rather cause the bloody Flix, and Lask;
Wherefore forbear you brethren of the Cask,
VVho in your leather coats eat sacks of Nuts,
You'l need no new Beer to keep clean your guts.
VValnuts, or Royal Nuts, or * Nuts of Iove,
(Here's name enough to get a noble love)
Are the best sort of Nuts, and newly pluck'd
Delight the tast, but little juyce is suck'd
Page 84From its dry kernel, which doth slow desc•••,
And by its h•r• concoction doth offend.
Made in oyl▪ like Almonds, th•y make smooth
The hands and face, like chizel to a booth,
Or bo•rd, they •lain the su•fie head, and scales,
And •ave the labour of our itching n•ils.
The green and tender Nut, like Suck•d made,
And boyl'd in Sugar (tis Confectioners trade)
Is •o•t delightful and confortative,
And anti•oticall, then eat, and live.
Chesnuts are dry and binding, in a mean
'Twixt hot and cold (Nut Laodicaean then)
But yet Sardi•ian breed, inflative high,
As 〈◊〉 i'th •ire, their bouncing doth descry.
After its windy ru•ture roast it well,
And stee• it in good Sack, until it swell
By th' infusion, then this Nut is good
Provocative, and plenty makes of blood:
Thus rarified by fire, and sowe'd in Sack,
We may commend it fulcrum to the back.
There is a Chesnut call'd Equina, which
Is Horse-chesnut in our sole English speech,
Which from the •astern Countrey came, and can
Horse coughs and Astma's cure, why not in Man?
We have a Nut too that is call'd Po•cine,
An Acron wild we give it to our swine;
Not meat for men, unless when so tunes all
Are spent, we diet with the Prodigall▪
CHAP. XXXII. of SPICES.
PEpper is vehement hot, and mixt with meat
Assists the stomack to make quick defeat,
And noble change, on that Mesh or Hoch-podge,
Which else would longer in her region lodge;
Great crutches to digestion, and disperses
Wind, as King Aeolus in Virgils verses.
Wherefore on all inflative roots and grass,
Asperse the Pepper-box, and they will pass.
But let hot tempers, and in summer time,
Fobear, unless they will inflame the chyme:
There are some persons too; be none of those,
Who if they take't, take more then in the nose:
But they that love the haunch of hunted Deer,
With salt and pepper, make a noble cheer;
Yet 'cause my reverend Prelate loves it not,
With other spices let him make it hot;
Church-men must be approv'd, and verily
I do submit in more then ordering pie.
Ginger is hot and moist, and well digests,
The City Cooks do wisely in their Feasts,
(Not use it gingerly whereby such Fire,
And piles of meat concoction safe acquire.
Wherefore the use of it, and other Spices,
Have rais'd the Groce•s, and some quaint devices
To be o'th' Twelve, to wit, twelve Companies,
Because of these salvifical supplies,
As Pepper, M•ce, Cloves, Currans and Raysons,
And Prunes, rare ware! kept we the old seasons:
Page 86But that high drug Tobacco free doth passe,
Whether we have a Christ-tide, or Christ-masse.
But to our Ginger (which besides in Ale
Against its flativeness it doth prevail)
To livers cold, and stomacks likewise so,
It doth a friendly heat and hel• bestow;
Its vertue's known in Com•osition,
For obscure eyes, so saith my Portington,
And so saith Rasis, if that dimness be
Produc•d from moysture and humidity.
So Avicen commends it to the head
And throat, with raw cold rheumes incumbered.
Good for the memo•y (saith the same man)
Forget not then the old Physitian,
For your old Blades are best when all is done,
For they were wise, and had read Salomon.
Zedoary's hot and dry in the degree
Next to the first: The Dispensato•y
Is frequent in its use, for it discusses
All flatulency which in bodies buzzes;
It fattens too by occult quality,
(That's the old help in Physick) let it be;
The world is not discover'd all, we can't
Know any thing compleatly, not a Plant,
For every Plant doth hide a Deity,
And like the Sensitive shrinks when we pry,
Or touch, beyond decorum, stands the shew
When modest inquisition comes to know.
But for its vertue known, let it suffice,
It hath the name of Triacle by the wise;
Good against poysons, and infections good,
Whether they center in the sp'rits or blood.
Wherefore its use we may commend to all,
In this next Spring, and in the present Fall.
It is to th' stomack most comfortative,
Raiseth the appetite, the scent doth drive
Page 87Of noysome Garlike, Onions, and strong Leek,
(Which make the Ladies at a kiss turn cheek.)
Good against Colick, Stomack-Pains, and Lask,
And drunk in wine allayes our heat of Cask;
A Panacaea Rustick, not sure a greater;
Yes, Doctor Everard hath found a * better.
Galingale, both the small and greater root,
(From India this, from China that sought out)
Is hot and dry i'th' third degree, soveraign
Against the maladies of a col• brain
If it's but smelt unto; but chew'd is rare
For those whose lungs and breath ill savour'd are,
But if the stomacks region's stuff'd, and torn
By wind, let no man this rare Medicine scorn.
Or when we stomack lack unto our meat,
It will •rocure it, and do greater feat,
(Digest) and greater yet; helps after third
Concoction, prime food for Venus Bird:
And for the Colick grief and colder reins,
The shops can tell you what a price it gains.
Clove-berry's hot and dry, astringent too,
Like Cloves in vertue, and in outward shew.
In scent and tast most aromatical,
(Such Alexander fum'd his skin withall,
Unto odorous transpiration)
Is good 'gainst Goat-evacuation,
And Rammish breathings: good too for the eyes,
Annoy'd by cold Catarrhs and Crudities
Bred in the stomack; Livers cold it warm,
Would all exotick things did no lesse harme.
Rasis saith Cynamon is hot and dry,
Strengthens the Liver by that quality,
Page 88And stomack too, and gets an appetite,
And sweeps the wind out of that region quite:
It doth obstructions clear, that stop the reins,
Forcing the u•ine in strangurial pains;
Provokes the Menstrua, old Isack saith,
The Mid-wives are of a contrary faith.
'Tis wholsome made in sawce, and fumes the breath,
And a Sack posset rarely flavoreth.
Saffron is hot and dry i'th' first degree,
The weakned stomacks friend: no enemy
Unto obstructed Livers, not their breath,
Which is so short (it differs not from death.)
The feeble parts it comforts: don't you see
The Saffron Cawdle every morning flie
Into the Ladies chambers; they are wise,
And will take nothing dangerous 'fore they rise.
For women hard of labour present ease,
Rasis prefers it 'fore Man-midwiferies,
Or womens too, and saith that this alone
Is the Lucina to be call'd upon.
Put into wine it doth inspirit that,
Firks up its vertues, were it ne're so flat;
And in the drinker strikes a cheeriness,
That Plunder can't allay, nor lay distress.
It is enough; thy vertues are so high,
I do commend thee to the Cavalry.
Carawayes, or seeds of Caria, whence they take
Their name, are hot and dry, when made in Cake,
Or into Confects▪ wholsome Recipe▪
Against the urines painful stoppages:
Dissolve collected wind in stomacks crude,
And blasts Hypocondriacal extrude:
They Wor•s in children mortifie; are best,
Eat in the van, not i'th' reer▪ o'th' Feast,
Page 89(As is the usuall custome) when with cheese
And apples, these are sawcer-services,
Correctors of th•t windy fruit, an• why
Ex•el not wind without their company?
Wherefore in bread with •nniseeds (which have
Vertues alike) immixt, they'l Physick save.
MUstard is hot and dry, above the third
Degree, by it the br•in and stomack's stirr'd,
And watty hu•ours in born •egions dry'd,
Her Cou•trey-man its 〈◊〉 vertue try'd,
When that it caught her by the nose, did cry,
(A pox of her, a •ox of •ewxbury.)
Good sawce for Pork, and •oose, and Brawn in chief
For Sawsages, and Tri•es, and powder'd Beef;
Good for the int•llect, saith Avicen,
I do 〈◊〉 it unto G•tham, then,
But they must drink it fa•ing; which they will
N••e• observe, though to gain Solomons skil:
But yet for humou•s viscous, thick and tough,
The seed of Mu••ard is as good as snuff:
And •ulveriz'd, and in vine-blan•h de France
Infus'd, 'twill make a Tertian Ague dance;
It will expectorate, and further reach,
Even to the Stone (if Pliny•ightly teach.)
But th•n in vinegar you must i• lay,
Through Alpine hills these two will mak a way,
Salt is alike with Mustards quality
High-priz•d with us, but more in Gallia,
Page 90Where 'tis a soveraign sauce, fit for a King,
A sauce finds meat, and clothes, and every thing;
It takes away fas•idiousness in meat
(I cannot say, that which the French do eat)
Who loath even Salt it self, and heart'ly ha•e
It, since it comes obtruded on a Rate.
Yet it subtiles the tast, and makes it play,
Removing gro•sness from the Uvul•;
Excites and sharpens duller appetite,
Hunger and Salt are sauce, or none is right.
But too much Salt licks up and burns the blood▪
Just in the body as it is in food,
Which is exuct, and dry, and juyceless made▪
VVhere that its briny fire doth much invade;
As by experience, to their constant grief,
Our Mariners do find it in their Beef,
And Sea provisions, which retu•ns them all
Tro•hies of Salt, sadly Scorbutical.
To those that do in Salt too much delight,
It minorates the seed, bedimms the sight.
I have two F•iends of either Sex, which do
Eat little Salt, or none, yet are friends to,
Of both which persons I can truly tell,
They are of patience most invin•ible:
VVhen out of temper no misch•nce at all
Can put, no▪ if towards them the Salt should fall.
I know a pretty Pearl such use hath got
Of Salt, hee'd eat (if need) up Madam Lot,
A little chole•ick Spar•, a very fire,
VVhom if to make your friend you do desire,
You shall not need a long experience make,
His Bushel's eaten, and you may him take:
Though these two tempers are excessive, know,
A trencher-Salt fo• Tables we allow.
Rasis saith, Vinega• is dry and cold,
It makes its lovers macilent and old,
Page 91A vinegar-fact fellow, as we say,
A Constable on his installing day,
Looks as if in urine he were soused;
Beware night-walkers, you will all be * housed,
It doth destroy the bodies noble juyce,
Unsucculents the back, and spoils its use;
A help to Quartan Agues; and all such,
Who with black Choler do abound o're much,
Which it confirms and fixes, E contrae,
It doth disperse, and infirme Choler Rubea:
It gives a passe of gust in diet, mends
The duller juyce, and downward grateful send
There are disputes, whether 'tis hot or cold,
I'me for my Sages, and with them must hold.
Honey is hot and dry (saith Isaac)
In degree second, not doth vertue lack,
Good for Cacectick persons, whose grosse chiles
And evil humors rarely it subtiles,
And makes them remeant, passant through the skin,
Where thousand little dores are to be seen.
If you would know what are those little dores,
Madam, undoubtedly they are the Pores.
The foulness of the putrid blood in veins
It purifies, cleanseth those channels stains;
Wherefore let all, whose constitution's cold
And moist, decrepit persons, and the old
Lick Honey, or the drink-compound thereof,
'Twill warm their chilness, and 'twill cure their cough:
But you, my Friends, of cholerick tempers, know
Honey like choler is, and turneth so:
Live Honey (as we say) and eaten raw,
Is much inflative, rakes the breast and Maw,
Provokes by vomit and by Siege; but supp'd
In new laid Egg rare salve for lungs corrupt.
Page 92What need we longer praise it, when we know
Its Providore, from every flower doth blow,
Sucks universal Balm, so in a spoon
You take Gerards divine * Collection.
So that the gleanings of the vigorous Bee
Is Iohnson's labours neat Epitome.
Whom would not this glorious juyce intice
To tast it, though at lov'd Ionathan's price?
Of Oyles the Oyl of Olives weares the bayes,
Hath higher vertues, therefore higher praise:
Pliny the Senior, (whom Vesuvius kils,
And th' eructations of those fiery hils,
A sad example, and precaution gives
To all (though ne're so learn'd) inquisitives,
Not to be wise, and peep in things too high,
We have our Aetna's in Divinity)
Pardon the length of this Parenthesis,
That Pliny shall declare Oyles qualities:
It is all bodies suppler; but the dry
And hide-bound ought it most to magnifie;
Vellum-fac'd fellows, living whit-leather,
Eat Genoa Olives, and the Oyl together,
Until your parchment bodies give a soul,
Sordid and covetous Trayn-oyl can't unfoul;
It makes the body strong and vigorous,
(A word of late in wondrous use with us,
But then against the sacred Oyl) it drives
Poysons, though double twist by jealous Wives.
It gently layes the torments of the guts,
Cleanseth the tripes, and o•es those lower huts:
The head-ach pains it cures, and mildly swages
The ardor that in burning Feavors rages.
Page 93What windy vapours dares ith' body stay,
Or come in this aerial Unguents way?
Then if your eyes you'd have like Diamonds
Sparkle, (with such rare flame your eyes abounds,
Madam) Oyl will •hem clarifie, advance
A handsome face to Cherub's countenance.
The Cerusses are known, and we allow
To you the mellow sleek-stone of the brow;
Such Arts are legal, wot you what Hester
Bestow'd in sweets, when for the King she drest her?
For all our long and still upheld turmoyles,
And all my suffering, I'me for Soveraign Oyles.
The Oyle of Nuts most vehement and hot,
Let them, who Fistula's ith' eyes have got,
Use it from Madam Stepkins hand, or buy
It well compounded by good Surgery.
The Oyle of Almonds is more temperate,
It doth the breast and lungs cleanse and dilate:
The grated reins and bladder do receive
Huge ease, when we this lenifier give.
Specks in the face it takes away, how so?
When Ladies that use Oyl have Specks we know:
The round, the long, the star, the great, the lesser,
And are made Ursa's by their Woman-dresser.
Though Ʋrsa is a Beare, I mean them none,
Unless it be a Constellation.
The scarrs of Wounds by Oyle and Honey mixt
Are plain'd and levell'd though a long time fixt:
Rare remedy in fighting blustring times,
Such as are ours, the more, God knows, our crimes:
This Medicine is most parable, not hard;
Hast thou the Morphyes, use it Renegard,
Page 94Thou who hast ventur'd much, and bravely dar'd,
When that thy body is one scarre, as chance
May make it in thy next renown'd advance,
Then call for Oyl of Nuts my Renigard.
Now like the Squirril, which on Nuts doth feed,
We leap from verses to some nobler deed.