Advice to young gentlemen, in their several conditions of life· By way of address from a father to his children. By the Abbot Goussault, counseller in Parliament. With his sentiments and maxims upon what passes in civil society. Printed at Paris 1697, and translated into English.
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Title
Advice to young gentlemen, in their several conditions of life· By way of address from a father to his children. By the Abbot Goussault, counseller in Parliament. With his sentiments and maxims upon what passes in civil society. Printed at Paris 1697, and translated into English.
Author
Goussault, Jacques.
Publication
London :: printed for Tho. Leigh, at the Peacock against St. Dunstans Church in Fleet-street,
1698.
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Subject terms
Young men -- Conduct of life -- Early works to 1800.
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"Advice to young gentlemen, in their several conditions of life· By way of address from a father to his children. By the Abbot Goussault, counseller in Parliament. With his sentiments and maxims upon what passes in civil society. Printed at Paris 1697, and translated into English." In the digital collection Early English Books Online. https://name.umdl.umich.edu/A41719.0001.001. University of Michigan Library Digital Collections. Accessed June 11, 2024.
Pages
descriptionPage 1
ADVICE
TO
Young Gentlemen,
In the several Conditions of Life.
By way of Address from a Father
to his Children, &c.
CHAP. I.
General Counsel upon all the Occurrences
of Life.
I.
MY dear Children, if you will be Hap∣py,
and be esteemed in the World;
fear God, be faithful to your Prince,
and live like Men of Honour and Integrity.
II.
If any one comes a Mile to do you a Kind∣ness,
go two to do him the like, or greater,
in acknowledgment of it.
descriptionPage 2
III.
If you want a Fortune, endeavour to merit
one, and force blind Fortune to open her Eyes,
by your constant and industrious Well-doing.
IV.
Do not reprove publickyy, those whom you
think you have Right to correct, lest you be
thought to hate them rather than their Weak∣ness
and Faults.
V.
You cannot be too circumspect in your
Words; for oftentimes one word spoke un∣awares,
or in raillery, or even wittily, costs
him dear that thought to get Honour by it.
VI.
Make as many Friends as you can, for you
will find but few true ones. You will find
your best Friends in your self, if you perform
your Duty to God, and to those you are to live
with.
VII.
Do not fix your Affections upon the World,
but proportionably to the time you are to live
in it: He that intends to Travel, does not
stop at the first fine City he comes at, know∣ing
he must go further before he comes to the
end of his Journey.
VIII.
And in what condition soever you are in;
make your self known more by your Actions
than your Words: The Honesty and Integrity
of a Man, supports his Quality better than all
that can be spoken to his Advantage.
IX.
If you be in any considerable Employment,
entertain none in your Service, but Men of Ex∣perience,
and such as are capable to do service
descriptionPage 3
to their Prince, and Country: Promise nothing
that you do not perform; and take Counsel of
none but such as are disinterested, and of good
Judgment.
X.
Avoid Idleness, as the most dangerous Evil.
When the Mind is not employ'd, it becomes
corrupt; but when employ'd, it becomes Spi∣rit.
A Man in Business remembers what he
is, but when he is Idle he forgets himself, and
abandons himself to Pleasure like a Beast.
XI.
Make known the bottom of your Heart by
your Words; but your Birth and Quality by
your actions.
XII.
If you have Friends visit them often, but do
not press to stay with them; that would expose
you to the danger of losing them.
XIII.
Labour every one in the Profession you are
in, to deserve well. Merit is esteemed of all
the World, and is of so great price, that it
cannot be bought with Money.
XIV.
Hold it for certain, that there is no Trade so
bad as to have none at all; and there is no
life so tedious, as that which is passed in Plea∣sures
and continual Visits: To be always tyed
to Company, and never alone, is in appearance
to be at liberty, but in effect and really a
Slave.
XV.
If you be the Chief in the Company of Men
of the Sword, or of the Gown, remember that
a Chief that well becomes his place, is an Ex∣ample
to the rest, and ought to more than he
speaks.
descriptionPage 4
XVI.
If the Profession you have chosen, do not
carry you to the study of Learning, at least
love Men of Letters; and if you be not learn∣ed
your self, esteem those that are.
XVII.
Have the same respect for all Men, that you
desire they should have for you.
XVIII.
Be easie of access, and pleasant and agreeable
in your Conversation, and so every Man will
delight in your Company.
XIX.
If you be upright and true to your Word,
you will gain Credit with all the World, and
your Word will give you more facility in your
Affairs, than all the Writings of Notaries.
XX.
If any of your Family be discontented,
conceal it by your silence at home; but if it
come to the Knowledge of others, hide it a∣broad
by your good and gay Humour; that
will be the means to make it believed, that
the Report of the discontent is false, or at least
that it is such, that it is not worth your taking
notice of it.
XXI.
You will have no greater Enemies than your
self, if you abandon your self to your Pas∣sions.
XXII.
Receive your Kindred and Friends with a
chearful and obliging Countenance; to receive
them otherwise, is not to enjoy them.
XXIII.
Put not an entire Confidence in any but those
that have made themselves known by their
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Merit, Wit, and Integrity; look upon them
alone as fixt Stars, capable to enlighten you in
the darkness that the Affairs of the World has
brought upon the different accidents of your
Life; look upon all others as wandring Stars,
that have some Light which they lose in a
moment.
XXIV.
Modesty in your Apparel, Furniture, Equi∣page,
and your Words, will make it known
that you have a Mind well govern'd, and a
Heart without Passion.
XXV.
The ill Conduct of a Man, consists more in
what appears, than in what is concealed; and
make use of this Advice: Trust not to a false
out-side, sooner or later it will betray you, and
make you known for what you truly are
XXVI.
Riches make many unhappy; as well those
who have them not when they desire them, as
those that are afraid to lose them when they
are in their Possession. It is in your power to
avoid both the one and the other.
XXVII.
It is not your Birth, your Riches, or great
Employments, that can make you happy and
considerable in the World; but the use of them
will do it.
XXVIII.
You may gain your Enemies by obliging and
doing them service; but by flattering your
Passions, they become your Masters.
XXIX.
There are two gates of Life, one by which
you enter, the other by which you go out;
the farther you go from the one, the nearer
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you approach to the other. Think of it often,
and make reflection.
XXX.
Live always as if you were Old, that you
may never repent that you have been young.
CHAP. II.
Ʋpon the same Subject.
I.
MY Dear Children, Luxury and Play
are the two Fountains of Misery. Af∣ter
you have a little Knowledge in the
World, you will know this better than I can
tell you.
II.
Learn that it is gain to know how to lose
sometimes; and upon some occasions that may
happen, if you recede from your Interests, you
will act like Wise Men.
III.
Never speak to any of the bad Condition his
Affairs are in, except you have power, and an
intention to help him; it is imprudent to do o∣therwise,
and to grieve him, when he has gi∣ven
you no occasion for it.
IV.
To be angry without a cause, is a Mark of
want of Wit, and that he that is so, knows not
how to live; therefore have a care you mi∣stake
not a point of Honour with your Friends,
upon any occasion: That is to break with them
absurdly, and to give a Lie to all the Friend∣ship
you have professed to have had for them for
many years.
descriptionPage 7
V.
When you are in Company, do not report a
hundred Follies that you have heard or read;
that would be a sign that your Judgments did
not keep equal pace with your Memory.
VI.
Disgraces of themselves are no great matter,
when one knows how to suffer them; they be∣come
troublesome when they make you discon∣tented.
VII.
To be content, it suffices to have necessaries;
Superfluities are unprofitable, and oftentimes
do more harm than good. This, perhaps,
may not please you, but let it not trouble you;
for I do understand Necessaries in such a man∣ner,
as you need not be afraid of; that is, I
speak of necessaries conformable to the conditi∣on
and rank you hold in the World; all that
you have beyond that, may inspire you with
Thoughts that I do not wish you should have.
VIII.
The World is not dangerous, but when it is
loved too much; when what passes in it is seen
by a false Light, it is a continual Lesson to flie
Vice and embrace Virtue.
IX.
Buy not the Favours and Benefits of Prin∣ces
by any baseness, unworthy your Birth and
Education.
X.
The Character of great Men is to be civil
to all the World; they oftentimes make them∣selves
familiar in a surprizing manner: The
more you are pleased with this Character, the
better you will give an Idea of what you are.
descriptionPage 8
XI.
Too great a gentleness comes near to stupi∣dity
and insensibility. Too great Severity ap∣proaches
to Cruelty; you must use both the
one and the other, as there shall be occasion.
Prudence will shew you the middle, that you
run into neither of the Extreams.
XII.
If you do not take care to make your self
valued, you will never have the Respect paid
that is due to you.
XIII.
To have Heat and Vivacity without Judg∣ment,
resembles a Horse that has a hard mouth,
and runs away with his Rider, and exposes him
to all manner of danger. Restrain this Heat if
you have it, and endeavour rather to pass for
one that's grave before your time, than for a
young Fool that speaks any thing that comes
in his Head, without seeing the Consequence.
XIV.
If you be possessed with any violent Passion,
Preaching to you will do you no more good,
than Victuals do a Sick man that cannot di∣gest
them.
XV.
You may be remarkable for your Air and
good Mien; for being handsome and well-shap'd;
if your comportment and Manners do not agree
with your out-side, you may be compar'd to
bad Pictures, put into rich Frames.
XVI.
It is not enough that you are Brave upon
occasion, but with it you must have Conduct.
One good Head is more serviceable to the State,
than a hundred well Armed Hands; and one
descriptionPage 9
Experienc'd Captain more than a Thousand
fearless Souldiers.
XVII.
If by your Care and Industry you have heap∣ed
up much Riches, and make no honourable
use of them; they will say you are of those
Lamps that are extinguish'd by too much Oil.
XVIII.
Learn to gild the bitter Pills of losses and
disgraces; that is, learn to suffer Afflictions with
patience.
XIX.
Do nothing that can disparage you; a bad Re∣putation
follows at the heels of bad actions;
it is a smoak that shews there is a Fire.
XX.
If you have done a good action, which is
known, it cannot want recompence; the day
will come that you will be treated as Morde∣chai,
and the glory of the Prince will oblige
him to think of you.
XXI.
You must pardon a thousand small Faults
in your Friends and Kindred, if you will live
well with them. Nay, I must say, you must
pardon them, if you will live at peace with your
self.
XXII.
An Emperour repented the day he had not
given some marks of his Bounty and Libe∣rality.
You cannot master the World, without
having the same Thoughts, that all the days
are lost, wherein you have not perform'd some
good action.
XXIII.
Do not expect to receive marks of Honour
and Confidence from your Friends; but in so
much as you give to them the like.
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XXIV.
As long as you can live upon your own:
and what your Employment may honestly ac∣quire,
do not go into the Service of any Prince.
It is a strange subjection, to have dependence.
Princes are like the Fire, it is not good to come
too near them.
XXV.
Make often Reflection upon the Rose that
makes so fair a shew, and spreads its Odour at
such a distance, yet it is environ'd with Thorns;
this will teach you there is no good in this
World; no greatness, no Pleasure without
pain.
XXVI.
The less rest you allow your self in establish∣ing
your Family, the more will they enjoy it;
the present Pains you take will procure your
Ease for the time to come.
XXVII.
When your Equipage, your Sports, and your
Table diminishes, you will easily find that your
Friends do likewise so.
XXVIII.
There is no Employment that you may not
pretend to, but there is none that you can
succeed well in, if you do not make professi∣on
of Honour and Honesty.
XXIX.
Make good choice of those you intend to
do good to, for most People in the World or∣dinarily
make greater Esteem of the Presents
and Benefits they receive, than of their Bene∣factors.
XXX.
Do not look upon the pleasure of one Day
(as pleasure) when it is follow'd with the Re∣pentance
of many Years.
descriptionPage 11
XXXI.
If you have no Merit but from your Name
and Family, and not from your own actions;
then you are oblig'd to your Ancestors, but
they not to you.
CHAP. IIII.
Ʋpon the same Subject.
I.
MY Dear Children, what you give, give
freely, that you may doubly oblige; and
refuse with such kindness and civility, that they
may have reason to thank you.
II.
Keep your Promises with all the World. But
do not promise for others, but with Discretion,
and as your Prudence, and the Justice of those
you have to deal with shall engage you.
III.
You ought not to have a Passion for any thing,
but to have none at all; you ought to have no
greater pleasure, than that of renouncing and
despising all Pleasures.
IV.
Always tell truth; for where it is not loved,
it is respected and feared.
V.
It is enough to be reconciled to your Friend,
once or twice; but if it come to a third time,
you had better break Friendship.
VI.
Do all things with Discretion, Prudence, and
Integrity; and all things will succeed well with
descriptionPage 12
you; and without designing it you will draw
that which the World calls Fortune and Desti∣ny,
on your side; that is, your merit will
plead so well in your favour, that at length
they will do you justice, and acknowledge your
worth.
VII.
Troubles, Losses, and Afflictions, have been
in all times, and all places; remember there
are none exempt from them.
VIII.
Have a care of your Business your self, if
you desire it should succeed well.
IX.
The greater happiness you have in this World,
the more danger you are in to lose it.
X.
Your Tongue and your Heart ought not to be
divided; all that is within you ought to agree.
Take heed that your Words and Actions do
hold perfect correspondence; and let what you
say be maintain'd by what you do.
XI.
If you have not a Fortune, what matters it?
one may live without it; it is oftentimes bet∣ter
to deserve one, than to have one.
XII.
The greater Figure you make in the World,
the more will your Faults be taken notice of;
a Man of Quality cannot make great ones with∣out
losing himself. The higher his Rank is,
the less will be forgotten his Errours, and what
he was capable of.
XIII.
You were born Master of your Eyes and
your Tongue, let not the Corruption of your
Manners make them your Masters.
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XIV.
If you have any good Qualities, do not praise
them your self, for your own word will not be
taken.
XV.
Do nothing for your Friends against your
Conscience and your Honour; for you ought
to love your selves better than your Friends.
XVI.
You ought to fear the least beginning of an
ill habit; for disorder is like a Snow-ball, it
continually grows bigger.
XVII.
If you will have no difference with your
Friends and Kindred, do not sell them Hor∣ses,
or Goods; and buy nothing of them.
XVIII.
The love you may have for Wine, and Play,
at first may seem to you a Pismire, that you
may easily crush; but in time, this Love will
seem an Elephant that you dare not combat.
What do I say? you will flatter your self so
in this Passion, and you will disguise the Affe∣ctions
you bear to it, so well, that you will
think it is vain to endeavour to overcome it.
XIX.
If you desire a perfect quiet of Mind and
Content, seek it where it is to be found, for
the World only knows the Name of it.
XX.
True Glory proceeds from Knowledge, a
good life and Virtue; this is the only thing I
desire you should have, and the only thing
that merits your serious Thoughts, to find the
Means to acquire it.
XXI.
The difference betwixt an Honest Man that
descriptionPage 14
lives at his Ease, and an Honest Man that has
much ado to subsist, is, that one gives freely
of what he hath, and the other hath no anxi∣ous
Desires for what he hath not.
XXII.
When a Man is not spoken of at all, it is a
sign that he has neither Merit nor Virtue;
that they are not distinguished by their good
Qualities, they are neither envy'd nor sub∣ject
to the jealousie of any. If you be, let it
not trouble you, it is a good Sign.
XXIII.
You will live at ease with the Goods you
possess, if you desire no more; this is like a
Brook whose Waters are pure, and runs smooth∣ly;
it will change its nature, if by violence you
encrease its Waters, and make a Torrent.
XXIV.
Do not begin to speak before you know
what to say, and why you speak; Words are
like Arrows, that ought not to be shot without
aiming at a Mark.
XXV.
If you are Covetous, Vain, or Cholerick,
you will make your House a frightful Solitude;
and for that little time that you live in Disor∣der,
all reasonable Men will avoid your Com∣pany;
and you will be visited by none but Li∣bertines.
XXVI.
Think often what you have been, and what
you shall be; two or three serious Reflections
of this nature, will be more to your advantage,
than a Thousand made upon other matters.
XXVII.
Not to be content with what you are, nor
with what you have been; is an Insolence
descriptionPage 15
that complains of God and his Providence. I
believe you are not capable of such a Crime.
Praise God only that you are in a Condition to
live without dependence, and acknowledge
your own Happiness.
XXVIII.
Riches are given you, that you may pass your
life easily; but Life is not given you that you
should heap up Riches.
XXIX.
Take care that Honesty always accompany
your Pleasures, so you will relish them the
better, and never be afraid of their Conse∣quences.
XXX.
Recover in your riper Years, what you have
lost in your Youth; and if you have gone a∣stray
through the whole course of your Life,
take a good Guide towards the end of your
days.
CHAP. IV.
Advice concerning what kind of Life ought
to be chosen; and after what manner a
Man should live in his Profession.
I.
MY dear Children, consult with Men of
Honour and Probity, before you resolve
upon the establishment of your kind of Life.
Consult your own Inclinations upon the nature
of your good, and satisfaction of your Mind.
But that which I recommend to you chiefly,
is to be perswaded, that a quiet life passed in
descriptionPage 16
tranquility, is preferable to that which is passed
in the troubles of Business, and the perplexi∣ties
of the World.
II.
When you are throug perswaded of this
Truth, it will be no difficulty to determine
to lead a quiet and pleasant Life; it is not ne∣cessary
to give your selves over to pleasure;
but likewise you must not refuse it, either to
take too much or none at all; this is not to
understand nor love your self enough. Hunt∣ing,
Feasting, and Play are not Pleasure,
where they trouble your quiet and tranquility
of Life.
III.
The pleasures of good Company ought to
be enjoy'd, so that they do not hinder those
that you may sometimes take in Reading and
Retirement. You will make them perfectly
agree together, when each of them have their
turn, and you chuse them with prudence and
moderation.
IV.
Every one of you ought to consider himself
as a little Republick which he ought to Go∣vern
with gentleness. Great and brave Re∣solutions
are oftentimes suddenly taken, and as
suddenly vanish. You must not cloath your
self with too heavy a Garment; the weight of
it will cause you to quit it. You must not cure
a small Sore with great Incisions. To avoid the
passing of a small Brook, you must not leap
into a great River, and run the hazard of
drowning.
V.
A Life that is forc'd and driven on by A∣varice
or Ambition, is not natural, and by
descriptionPage 17
consequence cannot be pleasing. I dare say
that every Man, that the desire of raising him∣self,
or becoming very rich, does push on,
shall never be content; he is not himself, nor
his own Man, but his Passions. He does not
enjoy himself; but his Passion possesses him;
he is always with the Money he has had, or
desire to have, or with the Employment he
pursues, and is never with himself.
VI.
A Man is Happy that is not oblig'd to Prin∣ces
or great Men for what he has. When our
Parents and Kindred have receiv'd Benefits from
them, we owe an Acknowledgment to them
whether we will or no; and without our
knowledge, we become obliged to their Persons;
on these occasions we are not our own Masters.
And though we owe to God a Life that he has
given us; yet it seems that we likewise owe it
to them, and that they have a kind of right to
it, and to all that we have.
VII.
Life is a Circle and Vicissitude of Good and
Evil, to which we must accommodate and ac∣custom
our selves. You may grieve and be
troubled, but things will have their course;
your impatience and vexing will not change
them.
VIII.
That which you suffer, thousands more have
suffered, and will suffer as you; the complaints
of some will not authorize, or justifie that of o∣thers.
But their patience, and calmly bearing
them, may serve for a Lesson to you, to use
the same moderation on like occasions.
IX.
Do not imitate those, who in the Consolation
descriptionPage 18
they give to their Friends, are more couragious
than Seneca ever was; yet upon the least loss
that befals themselves, they lose all patience
and Virtue.
X.
The happiness of your Life does not consist
in raising your self higher than you are, but in
leading a life in tranquility and ease, conform∣able
to what you are.
XI.
Judge not of the happiness of a Man by one
part of it; he is a Man of Birth and Wit; he
has great Employments; he is welcome to
great Men. Yes, but has he all that he de∣sires?
Uses he what he has as he ought?
Health and Probity do they go along with his
Honour and Riches?
XII.
You shall always lead a sweet and easie life;
if (of what Profession soever you are of) you
make your self esteem'd and belov'd by all that
know you.
XIII.
In my Opinion, those that are most conside∣rable
for their Places and Employs, are not
always the most happy; and those who are
always at Court, where the Duty of their Places
detain them, so that they have scarce a Mo∣ment
to themselves, in my Opinion, cannot live
contentedly. We ought to live for our selves,
and not for others.
XIV.
A Life of middle and not high Degree,
does not hinder a Man from entring into, and
considering himself. He does not easily lose
the sight of what our Infirmities, and the Prin∣ciples
of our Religion continually sets before
our Eyes.
descriptionPage 19
XV.
When a Man travels, he does not usually
load himself with heavy Burthens; they trouble
him, and hinder him in his Journey. Honours
and Greatness ought to be esteem'd by you, of
the nature of these heavy Burthens. He can
have no other Idea of them, that is of a sound
judgment; and where Experience has undeceiv'd
him in these Vanities.
XVI.
Do that by Virtue, which the Philosophers
have done by Reason; set no value upon the
greatness of this World, and reckon it below
you; you are born for a more solid good;
do not therefore terminate your Desires to pos∣sess
that only which is common to Libertines
and Infidels.
CHAP. V.
Advice how one ought to live in the World.
I.
MY dearest Children, if God hath not cal∣led
you to a Monastick life, after you
have perform'd your Duty in respect to him,
it is good that you think of governing your
Conduct about those things that the World
will expect from you; that you may live ea∣sily
with those that live in the World as you
do.
II.
One of the best Counsels, and the most con∣stant
Maxims, that I can give you upon this
matter, is, that you never disoblige any one;
descriptionPage 20
never speak ill of any person, but to bear with
the Faults of others; to esteem and praise those
that deserve it, and pay a civil respect to all
those you Converse with.
III.
Never put on a proud and scornful Counte∣nance;
I mean such looks as will make you be
taken notice of for a vain young Man; do not
endeavour to be taken notice of by the number
of your Footmen, and splendour of your Equi∣page;
but to be distinguished by the Merit of
your Wit and Courage.
IV.
Do not love to hear your self talk, and ne∣ver
put a value upon what you speak your
self. To interrupt others when they are speak∣ing,
is ill manners; and to speak continually
is indiscretion; but to give opportunity to o∣thers
to speak, and to speak himself in his turn,
is to do like those that understand to Converse
in the World. If you be faithful and constant
to this Maxim, you will make your self ac∣ceptable
in Company, and be well receiv'd by
all.
V.
It is better to extol the Thoughts of your
Friend than your own, by this means you will
make it known, that you are capable of good
things, and that they please you; and that you
give them the esteem they merit; and that
you are not an impertinent Lover of your own
Opinion, and that you are not affected and
conceited with all that you say your self.
VI.
Remember often your Name and Family,
what you are, and those from whence you
come, and there needs no more to Govern your
Words and Actions.
descriptionPage 21
VII.
The Lessons you may learn from this Sub∣ject
are easie and natural: You need but make
good use of your Birth and Education. Call
to your remembrance Men of Quality, of Ho∣nour
and of Probity: You will know enough
by taking pleasure in frequenting their Com∣pany.
VIII.
Accommodate your self as much as you can,
to the Humour, the Wit, and the Desires of
your Friends, and Kindred, and of all those
with whom you have business, that will be
the way to live well, both with the one and
the other; that will be the means that every
one will desire your Acquaintance and Friend∣ship,
and all the World will be well pleased
with you.
IX.
It oftentimes happens that a good Behaviour
and genteel Conversation does not take a Man
so soon as a certain Air, and a sort of a civil
and obliging Humour, which a Man is taken
with at first Sight, and finds a love for him as
soon as he appears. There are those that are
handsomer than he, and indeed deserve better
than he, yet are not so well receiv'd; and a
Man does not feel the same joy when they ap∣pear,
as they do with the other less deserving;
but if you have Merit, you shall be esteemed;
but you shall be beloved at the moment when
you address with a smiling and pleasant ob∣liging
Air; so that a Man never meets you
but with Joy, nor parts from you but with
Trouble.
X.
Do not value your self upon your Rights,
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Youth, and good Qualities; if you have not the
Gift of pleasing, you shall not be beloved: In
short, if you cannot be complaisant to others,
others will not be complaisant to you.
XI.
Be always reserved and respectful to Ladies,
and always prudent and discreet with those of
your own Age, Quality, and Profession.
XII.
Do not affront nor anger any Person whatso∣ever;
be complaisant always, and in all Company,
that you may always be thought a Man ready
to espouse the Interest of your Friends: Ne∣ver
maintain your own Opinions with heat,
but always give a deference to the Opinions of
others; and above all things, avoid contra∣diction.
XIII.
Receive kindly all those whom your Employ∣ment,
Business, or Civility, obliges you to see.
Upon all occasions mannage their Humours
and Inclinations, and approve, or at least ex∣cuse
their Conduct; and your own Will al∣ways
be applauded.
XIV.
Never put any one to Charges; be civil
without constraint, and without Ceremony;
never lose the respect due to your Friends, and
those that come to visit you; for that would
trouble them.
XV.
Live with a certain Liberty that is respect∣ful,
but not too familiar; with a certain liber∣ty,
I say, that the best bred Men have brought
into Custom and Fashion, and which is ap∣proved
by all.
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CHAP. VI.
Advice upon what concerns Religion.
I.
MY dear Children, you cannot be too Zea∣lous
in the concerns of Religion; not in
order to obtain your Desires, or to serve your
Designs or Interest: You ought not to consider
your Employments or your Birth, but act ac∣cording
to your Religion, and to depend upon
it.
II.
The Libertines themselves do not renounce
Religion; but they do not live according to
its Laws and Maxims. Men know what they
ought to believe, and likewise what they ought
to do; and oftentimes they stop there: But
do not you content your self to believe, and
defer, 'till your riper years, that which you
are at all times oblig'd to practice.
III.
Faith ought to be the principle of all your acti∣ons;
which if bad, they obscure and stifle it;
hold it for certain, that disorder in your Life will
lead you further than you think; it is a Fire
that you cannot extinguish when you would;
it is a Torrent that you cannot stop when you
desire it; at first you think it will go no fur∣ther
than the Corruption of your Manners,
and do not foresee that this Corruption will in∣fallibly
go further, and communicate it self
to your Faith. I desire that Experience may
not make you know that Faith cannot long re∣main
sound with such corruption of Manners.
descriptionPage 24
IV.
Adhear to your Religion, and not to the
Persons that make profession of it; and ad∣hear
to your Faith, but not to them that
taught you it: It is hard to separate Zeal
from Interest; and it is often so well dis∣guised,
that one is taken for the other, and
the most able Men are mistaken in it.
V.
Although all the Christian Virtues make
and entertain a Holy Commerce betwixt God
and our selves; yet there is a certain particu∣lar
Virtue, whose proper effect is to unite the
Reasonable Creature to his Creator; and to
submit, and by authentick Marks, pay him
Respect and Adoration; and this Virtue is Re∣ligion.
VI.
Never pretend that you can be an honest
Man without Religion, for Religion is the
Chief of all Virtues; and you cannot doubt it,
whether you consider it in relation to its Ob∣ject,
or in relation to its Offices, or its end:
You may be assured that it includes all the
Virtues by way of Excellency.
VII.
The Christian Religion is admirable in its
Maxims, and the fundamental Truths that it
establishes are all Divine. In other Religions
they ascribe some things to Reason, much to
the Passions, and almost all to Nature; but
in ours we combat the Passions; we destroy
Nature, and submit our Reason.
VIII.
You cannot too much avoid the Company
of the great Wits, that make Profession that
they believe nothing; look upon them as pos∣sessed
descriptionPage 25
with a Frenzy, and to whom a burning
Fever gives great strength of Wit; and be∣lieve
it, that the more they labour to make it
appear, the more they are in danger of losing
it: The strength of Wit they shew in this
matter, ought to pass, not only for great
Weakness, but extream madness.
IX.
To speak sincerely, I must say that there are
few Persons of Quality, that know well what
their Religion is, and in what it consists. They
are Educated by their Parents, who make Pro∣fession
of the Christian Religion; but for the
most part, they study more to live according
to the Maxims of the World, and the false
Principles of a Worldly Nobility, than ac∣cording
to the Laws and Precepts of Religion.
You know, my dear Children, that my first
and chief Care has been to Educate and make
you Christians; and I have always taught
you, that that was the principal and most im∣portant
Duty. I cannot too often speak and
repeat it to you, and you cannot too often re∣member
it, nor labour too much to profit
by it.
X.
The more you practice good Works, the
more your Faith encreases; and on the Con∣trary;
when you cease to practice, the fear
of God grows less and less; and when you
cease to fear, you cease to believe. Tremble
at what I say, and do not flatter your selves
in other Thoughts; he does not believe, that
does not live according to his Belief.
XI.
As there is but one God, so likewise there
is but one true Religion, that is the Christian
descriptionPage 26
Religion; the same is yours; be firm in it,
and let nothing move you from it.
XII.
Some make a deceitful Idea of Religion,
and look upon it as an Enemy to the Pleasures
of Life; but that imagination is false, for
Religion establishes no Maxims but what are
convenient for all Honest Men; and these
Maxims are Established for no other end, but
to render the Society of Mankind more plea∣sant
and agreeable.
XIII.
Experience teaches us, the more Religious
a Man is, the more he is esteemed and lo∣ved
in the World: The Reason is this, that
the more Religious a Man is, the more cha∣ritable
he is to the Poor; just to his E∣quals,
and respectful to his Superiours. And,
in a word, the more Religious a Man is, the
more obliging he is to his Parents and
Friends, and does justice to all the World;
it is the means by which a Man of that Cha∣racter
(that is) a Religious Man, and that lives
according to its Rules, has the Esteem and
Love of all Men.
XIV.
You can never too much apply your self
to learn Religion; that is, to learn what it
teaches; what it obliges you to; what it
forbids, and what it commands.
XV.
The Science of Religion is a Knowledge
that few study, yet every one thinks they
know it; they go to Church, they pray to God,
and they give Alms. This is that they usu∣ally
call Religion; and he that does this, is
called Religious; but if he live in any habi∣tual
descriptionPage 27
Sin, if he be given to Drunkenness, and
passes the greatest part of his Life in Gaming,
and the like Pleasures; it is certain, that that
Man has but the out-side of Religion, and is
ignorant of its Power, its Precepts, and its
Maxims. My dear Children, if you have Re∣ligion,
you will render to every Man what
belongs to him, and do to all Men as you
desire all Men should do to you.
XVI.
How zealous soever you may appear for
Religion; the exterior Proofs you give of it
will not be sufficient, unless it be joined with
the essential Marks of true Piety.
CHAP. VII.
Counsel in respect of the Company you are
to keep.
I.
MY dear Children, you must apply your
selves so to your Business, that you must not
quite deprive your Kindred and your Friends
of your Company; you must sometimes lend
your self to the World, but not give your
self away to it.
II.
Too much Conversation, and unprofitable
Visits, will make your life soft and Effeminate;
much Business, and sometimes Company will
make it Honourable, Pleasant, and agreeable.
III.
Mens Minds have need of Refreshment, con∣tinual
Application dulls them; and as you
descriptionPage 28
ought, by labour to prevent the Evils that Idle∣ness
would bring upon you, so you must like∣wise,
by some diversion, ease the Pain that
continual Employment would give you.
IV.
A little mixture in your life re-establishes
or preserves Peace betwixt the Head and the
Heart: Company sometimes will make you
forget your Troubles, and the present will
take away the remembrance of what is past.
V.
The Life is like a Watch which is kept in
continual motion, by several Wheels that com∣pose
it; one Wheel is not sufficient, it will
not make you Master of the Functions of your
Office; never to stir from it, that would make
you a voluntary Slave to it.
VI.
It is to take too much upon you, to mind
nothing but your Business: Our Mind is a
fertile ground, capable to bear several sorts of
Grain, but you must give it rest: Or to come
nearer; our Mind is a Farmer which we must
use kindly, and give him time that he may pay
his Rent; when you press him too much,
you break and ruin him.
VII.
I can see nothing that will be so much to
your advantage, as to know your selves well.
Ask nothing but what you know your selves
capable of; and though you be capable, ask
it not too often, lest you be thought to boast
of your Talent.
VIII.
Every one has his share of Ability, you will
always succeed, if you do not pass the bounds
of your own, and do not set them to Work
upon other Mens bottoms.
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IX.
Perhaps you may find your self between those
that give not enough to the Entertainment of
the World, and those that give too much;
this happy mean ought to make you content:
If you condemn the life of the one, do not en∣vy
that of the others; accommodate your Man∣ners
and Actions to your Humour, your Ge∣nius,
and your Temper, and wish no more.
X.
In Armies they use Fifes, Trumpets, and
Drums, to excite and animate the Soldiers
upon occasion. But the Lacedemonians, on the
contrary, were so valiant, and valued their lives
so little in Battel, that they us'd Flutes, and
the like Instruments to restrain them, that by
their soft and agreeable Musick, they might
charm their Valour, and as it were, lay it a∣sleep.
The like is of Mens Minds, some
ought to be provok'd and excited to take
pains; others take too much, and their acti∣vity
ought to be bridled and moderated. There
is nothing, in my Opinion, that can make these
sort of Men relish some pleasure, so much as
the Company and Entertainment they may
have with their Kindred and Friends.
XI.
Always to be boasting what a Man is, and
how worthy he is, is to affront those he Con∣verses
with; his own Merit and Advocate
has not always his Pen in his Hand, nor a
Soldier his Sword; a Beauteous Woman de∣sires
sometimes to go Masked. These are the
Lessons that I would teach you, that you do
not always love to be employ'd in serious
Business, but that you sometimes divert your
self with good and agreeable Company.
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XII.
You may hate the World (I allow) when they
talk of nothing but of Trifles, Vanities, or
business; but you may love it when it refresh∣es
your Mind when weary with Business, and
make you pass some moments of your Life
with Pleasure and Delight.
XIII.
In my judgment, no Estate or Condition is
like that which a Man acquires himself, by an
honourable Employment; and no servitude
to me seems so great and inconvenient, as that
which a Man imposes upon himself, by rea∣son
of a great Fortune setled upon him; and
if you will make a serious reflection upon it,
you will be of my Opinion.
XIV.
It seems to me more desirable to have no
business at all, than to have too much; and to
be always alone, than never to be so: To make
your Life pleasant and easie, you must use
variety in passing it, and sometimes seek out
Company, when you have been long time with∣out
it.
XV.
Do not always do the same thing, that will
make your Life tedious and troublesome; you
must join Pleasure with Profit, and make
your Recreation tread upon the Heels of your
Labour; I mean, when you are wearied with
much Business; you must go see your Friends,
and enjoy the pleasure of their Company and
Conversation.
XVI.
Never be troublesome to any Company;
but if you chance to come into any that have
Business; do not stay to interrupt them; you
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ought to know how to enjoy Company, and
how to quit it upon occasion.
XVII.
Never accustom your self to the Company of
Libertines and Gamesters; there is nothing to
be gained there. The loss of your Money and
Time is the least thing you have to fear a∣mongst
Men of that Character. You ought
to avoid them with much care and circum∣spection.
XVIII.
Do not use to make Visits to such as are
always idle, and have never any thing to do;
they will repeat one thing a Hundred times o∣ver;
their Discourse has no end but trifles,
and their continual leisure is an emptiness that
they would gladly fill, at the Expence of their
Friends and Kindred; in a word, you can
never have done with them.
XIX.
Avoid, with a great deal of care, Men that
are Hot and Quarrelsome; they will affront
you for nothing, and urge things beyond rea∣son
and measure, and you will bring your self
into Troubles with them, which you cannot
free your self from but with difficulty.
XX.
When you are in Company that entertains
you with respect and civility, you ought to
expect no more (that is) you ought not to de∣sire
any further kindness, but of such as ei∣ther
Kindred, Friendship, or Business, has more
strictly united. The out-side of others ought
to be sufficient; they are not obliged always to
speak out what they think; if they be civil and
respectful, you ought to be content.
descriptionPage 32
XXI.
You ought not to believe that Men have an••
esteem and consideration for you, because they
say it; it is the maner of speaking of it, that
ought to perswade you: Three words when
spoken with a pleasant and obliging Counte∣nance,
are more than Twenty otherwise deliver'd;
there is a manner of speaking things, that makes
you judge they come from the Heart, and that
the Tongue is but a faithful and obliging in∣terpreter.
XXII.
To make your selves acceptable in Compa∣ny,
do not always speak what you think cu∣rious
and excellent, but entertain those that
are with you, with what they love and plea∣ses
them; and do you take pleasure in know∣ing
how to please others?
XXIII.
You are not to avoid the Company of one
of your Acquaintance, because he is sometimes
humorous and troublesome, being he may have
his Intervals; and of what use is your Reason,
if you do not make use of it upon some occasi∣ons?
This Man has Faults that are trouble∣some,
but he has other good qualities, pardon
the one for the others sake; and do not avoid
his Company; pity his weakness because he
is generous, and has a great deal of wit; he
has a Soul that is upright and full of Honour;
what you suffer by his defects, are not worth
taking notice of.
XXIV.
If you be so difficult in making choice of
your Acquaintance, others will be the same
to you; if you be so exact in requiring so
many good Qualities in those you Converse
descriptionPage 33
with, others will require the same from you;
and are you sure they will find them? It is
better not to be so nice in your Choice, it
will make your Life more easie and agree∣able.
CHAP. VIII.
Ʋpon the same Subject.
I.
MY dear Children, to see little or no Com∣pany,
is to deprive your selves of Plea∣sures
that are innocent; but to spend your
whole life amongst Women, and in making
continual Visits, is to lose your Stomachs by
continual eating, and to fill your self with
course Victuals, and deprive your self of
Delicacies and Dainties.
II.
A Discourse, to be good and profitable, ought
to be of things Moral Honest and Christian.
But it ought to be in the Company of a few
and choice Persons; avoid a Croud.
III
Polite Learning, History, and all that re∣lates
to Arts and Sciences, are good Sub∣jects
of Conversation, especially where it is
practis'd with good order and decency, and
not in a critical and pedantick Fashion.
IV.
Avoid, by all means, such Company as
talk of nothing but Trifles and Follies, and all
their Conversation is upon the divertisements
of the World; and upon the false Reasonings
descriptionPage 34
of the Interest of Princes; Never be of the hu∣mour
to take pleasure in losing your time in
hearing such trifling Discourse.
V.
When you meet in Company where some are
too free and prophane, let them know that such
Discourse does not please you; and do not join
in Conversation of that nature.
VI.
Be not ashamed of the Gospel on this oc∣casion;
and you will make them ashamed, who
forget themselves, and are not so reserv'd in
their words as they ought to be; put on a se∣rious
Countenance, and presently they will be
silent.
VII.
Be always when you are in Company as
you are at home, not changing your Chara∣cter
(that is) be always Honest, Pleasant and
Obliging; do not bely it by your Words
and Actions. In all places make appear that
you are of an equal Humour and Converse,
and all Men will desire the Honour of your
Acquaintance and Friendship.
VIII.
In all Company where you are, speak of
Virtue without Affectation, and desiring to pass
for a Devoto; speak of News without ear∣nestness,
or too much Curiosity; and of that
which passes in Company without Envy, Cri∣ticising
or Jealousie.
IX.
Give your Advice without applauding it;
declare your Opinion in any thing propos'd to
you, without deciding it; say what you think,
without pretending that others should submit
to your Wishes or Reasoning; maintain your
descriptionPage 35
Opinions without Heat, and hear other Mens
without Trouble.
X.
If you be of this Mind and Humour, you
will be acceptable in all Companies; and you
no sooner enter, but every one will be glad;
and when you leave them, every one will look
sad, and seem to say, the life of the Com∣pany
is gone, and now we seem all-a-mort.
XI.
If you maintain this your Character, you
may make many Visits every Day, and every
one will reproach you, and tell you, you are
sedentary, and love your Home too much;
your Visits will seem so rare and short, that
they will obligingly accuse you of forgetting
your Friends, or they will believe that you
are oppress'd with Business and Affairs.
XII.
It will please you to see, that where-ever
you go, you will receive a Hundred Welcomes
and Civilities; and you will be wished for
wheresoever you do not go.
XIII.
When you are with your Friends, always en∣deavour
to be agreeable, and to please them,
and never put on the Air of a Philosopher, or
a Devoto.
XIV.
I must confess you cannot have too much re∣servedness
in your Words, nor too much mo∣desty
in your Actions. But you must likewise
acknowledge, that with your Friends you can∣not
be too pleasant and complaisant; that plea∣ses
them, that gains them; that afterwards one
does what he pleaseth.
descriptionPage 36
XV.
Do not make it your Business to have al∣ways
much Company with you, that would
be to love others too much, and your selves
too little; nor to have none at all, for that
would be to love your self too much, and
to carry your reservedness too far.
XVI.
Be with your Kindred as much as Decency
permits you, and give your selves to your
Friends as often as complaisance requires it.
But always without prejudice to the Care that
you ought to take of your Family, and Do∣mestick
Affairs.
XVII.
Make the duties of your Conscience agree
with the Pleasure of receiving and returning
Visits. Visit your Kindred at one time, and
your Friends at another, and you will please
them both.
XVIII.
Nothing moves so much as Example; what
enters by the Ear, makes some Impression, but
that which is seen gains the Heart. It is for
this Reason, that Example is always efficacious;
and it is look'd upon as a living Book, that
teaches us incessantly what we should do;
this that I say should teach you to keep
Company with none but Persons of Honour
and Probity; that is the Model that you
ought always to set before you, and you can∣not
do amiss when you follow it.
XIX.
You may easily observe the Rules of your
Behaviour, by that of another of good Breed∣ing
and Conduct, whom you have much Con∣verse
with; his Prudence and constant good
descriptionPage 37
Humour, and good Inclinations, will be of
great weight with you, to make you endea∣vour
to imitate him in all things.
XX.
In Example of this well-read, and Man
of Honour, will be as an Eccho, which will
always tell you what you are, and what you
ought to be: This Example will be as a Look∣ing-glass,
to represent to you your Defaults and
Defects, and will be as a Drum and Trumpet
to encourage you to do well.
XXI.
This Example will be as Meat to nourish
you, and make you strong to live like a Man
of Honour and Probity; finally, this Exam∣ple
will be to you a Law, that will impose
upon you the happy necessity of living well.
CHAP. IX.
Advice concerning Reports.
I.
MY dear Children, never Report Stories,
for that makes Business and Quarrels a∣mongst
Friends and Kindred, and raises su∣spicions,
which have very troublesome conse∣quences;
it is seldom that Men of Quality,
who know how they ought to live, do it;
but Men of Honour and Probity never.
II.
Be you stedfastly perswaded, that Reports
do harm to him that makes them; to those
they are made to, and those they are made of;
are like the stroak of a Cimetar that kills
three at once.
descriptionPage 38
III.
You can never carry Reports, but with design
to oblige him to whom you carry them, or to
satisfie your self in doing it: Those whom you
make them of will never be reconciled to you,
and it is at their Expences you make them, and
they will seek to revenge it.
IV.
And he whom you think to oblige by tel∣ing
him, will by your means have a thou∣sand
suspicions and jealousies in his Head,
which may provoke him to Choler and a
precipitate Revenge; this is the Pleasure and
Service you do him, when you have the in∣discretion
to make and carry Tales.
V.
You likewise will not find your own satisfa∣ction
as you thought; for you will make Ene∣mies
of all those you have reported Stories of:
And for the other to whom you carried them,
they will make shameful Reflections upon you,
who disoblige those which never gave you
cause, and perhaps are speaking many things
to your Advantage, at the moment you make
malicious Reports of them: Men of Honour
and Probity are not capable of such Injustice
and Baseness.
VI.
You ought not only to avoid the making of
Reports, but you ought not to suffer others to
make them to you; the Maker of them is al∣ways
looked upon with an Evil Eye.
VII.
You cannot think to make Reports of any,
but they will do the same of you, and will
pay you what you have lent them, with Plea∣sure
and Usury; they will not suffer any thing
descriptionPage 39
of what you say or do, to fall to the Ground;
they will take great care at all times, and all
places, to make you known for what you are.
VIII.
Resolve to make it known upon all occasi∣ons,
that Reports do not please you; that
you forget them as soon as they are told.
Shew that you are always perswaded, that
what is spoken of the absent, is for the most
part to be suspected for false and aggravated.
IX.
When you have made it known, that you
are not pleased with such Reports; you will
discourage all those that have a Mind to
trouble you with them; and the Countenance
you receive them with, when you hear them
against your will, will condemn both them
that bring them, and those that caused them
to be brought.
X.
A Wise Man never lends an Ear to such Re∣ports,
and by that means he shuts the Mouth
of all those that would make them. You
will prevent many troublesom Moments, by
declaring your self against them, and by that
means do good to them that were of the
humour to make them, and Cure them of a
shameful Quality.
XI.
Never let either your Tongue or your Ears
encourage these Reports. I do not know
which is most to blame, he that hearkens to
them, or he that makes them; but I know
that nothing entertains a Man more in that
unworthy Practice of making them, than to
give ear to them, and to be pleased with the
hearing of them.
descriptionPage 40
XII.
You ought to put a Vail upon the Face of
your Friend, to hinder him from seeing any
thing that may give him trouble; you ought,
for his sake, to impose a perpetual silence up∣on
your self in those things that may vex
him. There is no pretext, how specious soe∣ver,
can authorise you to make reports on
such occasions.
XIII.
One of the first Laws, not only of Friend∣ship,
but of Civil Society, is to banish for∣ever
Reports of all kinds; there are a thousand
things which concern Families, that go be∣yond
Friendship, and the ordinary Tyes that
a Man has with his Acquaintance; it is to in∣jure
this Friendship, and these Ties, to make
them take such care and caution in this mat∣ter
as may trouble their quiet.
XIV.
It would be imprudent in you, to report a
thing that you know not, but by the report of
a particular Man, who may lie or aggravate
the matter; and it would be injustice to make
others believe what you do not know, but on
this manner; yet it is an injustice that is too
often committed, because they are not cau∣tious
in that point; and they are prone to
commit it upon the false Principle that they
are not concerned in it; but he that said it was
reported, ought to justifie it.
XV.
The Infidelity of a Friend that has betrayed
your Secret, does not give you a right to do
the same by him. Your Duty does not de∣pend
upon his; his Faults does not authorise
yours; he has violated his Faith in a Secret
descriptionPage 41
you trusted him with; it is a fault inexcu∣sable,
yet you ought to consider him, not as
he is to you at present, but as he has been;
the Secret that you owe him is an old debt;
it always remains so; you owe it him still,
as much as you owe him Money which he
lent you long since, when you were all one.
XVI.
A trifling thing told by one of your Friends
does not give you cause to break Friendship
with him. You must pardon this small indis∣cretion,
and to make your advantage of it, that
will teach you to be more cautious hereafter,
and not to trust him so easily, especially in
things of consequence.
XVII.
It is neither good nor honourable to make
Reports; and if it be lawful to think ill of
those that speak them, from the time that one
should make a Story to me, I should think him
capable to commit all sorts of faults, since
there are none which he might more easily a∣void
than this. Yet even one Story that a
Man should report to me, would give me an
Idea of his Humour, and his bad Inclination,
which I should have much ado ever to forget.
XVIII.
Never suffer either at your Table, nor in
your Walks, nor in your Pleasures, them who
are accustomed to carry Tales; look upon them
always as Enemies to Civil Society; as Persons
that ought to be expell'd all Company, and to
be pointed at; in a Word, as Men without
Honour or Honesty.
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CHAP. X.
Counsels upon Conscience.
I.
MY Dear Children, you cannot be too ex∣act
and circumspect in all that concerns
your Conscience; almost all the World pre∣tends
to be nice in this matter, but very often
they do not live according to that exactness
they pretend. For this nicety is but imagi∣nary;
and for the most part they make Con∣science
after their own fancy.
II.
This Nicety of Conscience, which all pre∣tend
to, ought not to pass in your Minds for
imaginary; because it is easie to form an Idea
of a scrupulous Conscience, when it is not so;
and oftentimes they are scrupulous only in
some enormous Crimes which they do not
commit, or in such Vices as their Inclinati∣ons
and Humours do not lead them to.
III.
The most part of the World make their
Conscience after their own fancy; and make
no scruple of Conscience in a thousand things
that relate to their Interest, Ambition, or Plea∣sure;
and so they think themselves very con∣scientious,
because they make no Conscience of
those things they have a mind to do, but are
very scrupulous in those things they will not
do.
IV.
If you have no Conscience but after this
manner, you will not long enjoy a quiet Con∣science;
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I do assure you, you will resemble
the Sick that abstain from Wine and Fruit,
and, eating to excess all other sorts of meat, are
in danger of their Lives.
V.
All the World know that we ought to sub∣mit
our selves to the Laws of God; and it is
our Conscience that makes us understand how
far this Law extends, and reproaches us if
we transgress it.
VI.
Our Conscience is a looking-glass, in which
we see our selves what we are; it is in this
Looking-glass that you discover your self;
there is nothing of good or bad which you
have done that can be conceal'd from you;
you may flatter your self, but this Looking-glass
is always faithful, and will represent you
truly as you are within, in your very Soul.
VII.
Our Conscience is a Book in which our
Thoughts, our Words, and our Actions are
writ; it is a Register that keeps an Account
of all things; this Book or Register sometimes
opens it self, and it is then when our Mind is
troubled; and the Reproaches which our Con∣sciences
make, move us to change our lives.
But this Book presently shuts again, because we
do not make application enough to make an
advantage of these good Motions we feel with∣in
us; and these Motions do not stay long
with us, because they are not faithful and
constant.
VIII.
I say further, our Conscience is a Sluce
where all the ordure of our Lives discharges
it self; and this Sluce is sometimes so full,
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that it regorges; but for fear that the ill Scent
that comes out of it should be troublesom to
us, we presently stop it, and cover it with
Flowers; that is, with vain Projects of Con∣version,
and false Hopes of a true Hatred
of our Sins; and for that little time we stop
it, we again return to our accustomed course of
life; and are harden'd more than ever in our
Evil Ways. And I wish you be not of the
number of those that make this ill Use of it;
and I speak all this to prevent your being so.
IX.
You need but open your Eyes and look up
to Heaven, and hear his Voice, and consider
the Wonders of the Creator; you need but
cast your Eyes upon your Conscience, to hear
it cry, that reproaches you continually, with
the abuse of your Health and Knowledge
that God hath given you, if you do indeed
abuse them.
X.
Woe be to you, if you do not hearken to
her, or if you make her speak as you desire;
since what injustice she counsels you to, or
what pleasure she permits you, you will be
the greatest losers by it, and will be the grea∣est
sufferers in the punishment of it.
XI.
You cannot follow a better Rule than that
which your Conscience gives you; but do not
corrupt it, and make it conform it self to
your Inclinations, your Humours and Weak∣ness.
XII.
Wherefore do we see some of our Friends
in good earnest, and true Converse? and
wherefore do we see others that do but seem
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so? Is it not because the one makes a serious
Reflexion upon what Conscience Dictates, and
the other a very slight one; the one heark∣ens
to it attentively, and the other in the mid∣dle
of the Noise of the World, and their
Minds distracted with their Passions.
XIII.
He that will not pay what he owes, will
not see nor hear his Creditors, but flies them,
and hides himself as soon as they appear; the
same thing happens to you in regard of your
Conscience; if you will not look upon her,
nor hear her when she presents her self to you,
you make use of a Hundred false pretences,
as a Vail to hide your selves; and steal from
her, and lose the sight of her every moment
XIV.
The Conscience of an Honest Man is very
different from the Conscience of a Worldly,
Covetous, or Voluptuous Man; the first con∣tinually
examins his Conscience, and no soon∣er
knows its Dictates, but runs to execute them.
The other has never the Time, nor Will, to
consult it, and much less to perform its com∣mands:
Judge your self, and see what you are.
XV.
He that loves to play and see Comedies,
makes no Conscience to spend almost all his
time in the one, and lose many Hours in the
other; on the contrary, he that makes pro∣fession
to live according to the Rules of Ju∣stice
and Religion, makes Conscience of mak∣ing
play his daily Business and Employment,
and looks upon Comedies as a divertisement
unworthy of his Care and Time; he hates ga∣ming,
and despises Plays.
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XVI.
Gaming and seeing Plays are two different
things, in regard of the one and the others
Conscience; and why? because the Conscience
of the one is more fearful and cautious than the
other; and the one hearkens to his Conscience
continually, and the other never; the one pre∣fers
the Duty of his Conscience before all the
Pleasures of his Life, and the other the con∣trary.
XVII.
Both the one and the other have the Com∣mands
of God and the Church to observe;
but the one looks upon them with an Eye dif∣ferent
from the other.
XVIII.
Take care that your Conscience be not too
scrupulous, and likewise that it be not scrupu∣lous
at all; prudence and discretion ought to
govern you in this point.
XIX.
We are not all called to the same kind of
Life; so the Conscience ought not to be the
same to all Men; there are Duties proper to
every state, that cannot be dispensed with; and
these Duties are different, according to the di∣versity
of Professions, and that also makes a
difference in the Conscience.
XX.
All Men ought to have the same tenderness
of Conscience in the general Duties of Christi∣ans;
but it may be greater or lesser on parti∣cular
occasions.
XXI.
You ought not to have a tenderness of Con∣science
for one Commandment of God, more
than for another; you must have an equal re∣gard
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for all; such as take this Advice in some
particulars, and violate a Commandment of
God in another, are inexcusable.
XXII.
Some Men fast Fridays and Saturdays, but
will not be reconciled to their Enemies; o∣thers
give largely to the Poor, but will not
forsake a beloved Sin; others make scruple
of all things but such as they have a Passion
for.
XXIII.
The tenderness of Conscience in all those
Persons, ought to be thought false and ima∣ginary.
What do I say? You ought to hold it
for certain, that they have no Conscience at all;
or if they have any, it is ready to rise a∣gainst
them before the Tribunal of the Su∣preme
Judge of all Men.
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CHAP. XI.
Ʋpon the same Subject.
I.
MY Dear Children, Conscience and Ho∣nour
ought to govern all your actions;
Interest ought not to be look'd upon further
than Equity and Right will permit.
II.
Do not throw your self at the Feet of Prin∣ces,
or the Grandees of the World; that is,
give not your selves up so to them, as to be rea∣dy
to do all things at their Pleasure. You
ought to render all that is due to your Con∣science
and Honour before you give them up
to any body else; and you should betray
your self if you did not keep that Order that
Reason prescribes, and that your own Interest
continually sets before your Eyes.
III.
Princes often desire Men devoted to their
Will; Men that have not that tenderness of
Conscience; in a word, Men that will stick
at nothing to serve them. They desire this,
I must confess, but if every one would do
their Duty, they might seek a long time be∣fore
they would find such as they desire;
and this seeking in vain would make them
more just and reasonable.
IV.
Let not Ambition lead you blindfold; you
are born free, do not make your self a Slave
to another's Will; there are many Slaves
loaden with Chains, that would not buy their
Liberty at such a price.
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V.
The Kings of Aegypt used to make their
Judges promise that they would do nothing a∣gainst
their Conscience for any pretext of Am∣bition,
Interest, or recommendation they could
have. You are Kings of your own Wills
and Actions; they can have no Power but
what you give them, which you ought to al∣low
them with unreproachable Equity and Right.
Do nothing against that Principle of Nature
that teaches you to give to every one what
belongs to him, and never regard any thing
that would inspire you with other Thoughts.
VI.
The Laws of War cannot Authorise any ill
actions; and what we owe to our Prince and
Country, cannot justifie them; all things are
not permitted to Subjects in favour of their
Soveraign. A Soldier, for being a Soldier,
ought not to forget that he is a Christian, on
pretence that he is under the Pay of him that
commands him; he ought to do nothing a∣gainst
his Religion; the noise of Arms ought
not to hinder the hearing the Voice of his
Conscience and Honour, which will teach him
what he ought to do in all occasions.
VII.
Have a great regard for Princes, and all
your Superiors; but let your Conscience al∣ways
go first, and give it the preference in
all things.
VIII.
After you have satisfied your Conscience and
your Honour, do all you can for your Kind∣red
and Friends, and you can never do too
much.
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IX.
Under pretence of Friendship, never do an
ill Action; the Laws of Friendship ought
not, cannot carry you so far.
X.
There are two things that ought to be ex∣treamly
precious, whatsoever Profession you
are of, your Honour and your Conscience:
Your Honour ought to be dear to you, because
it is a personal good, without which, accord∣ing
to the Opinion of all Men, all the rest
are nothing. Your Conscience yet ought to
be more dear to you, for when that has no∣thing
to reproach you with, Peace within will
be your Consolation, without which you will
lead a languishing and miserable Life.
XI.
You ought to abhor any thing that is a∣gainst
your Honour and Conscience, and no∣thing
can oblige you more to detest an Action,
than when it robs you of either the one or the
other.
XII.
As long as one enjoys perfect Health, one
easily pardons ill Customs; the pretence is ea∣sie
and favourable, there needs nothing to ex∣cuse
it, but Humane frailty, and the daily
and pressing temptations to Sin; you need no
other Excuses. These are the ordinary practi∣ces
of the Men of this World; do not fol∣low
such bad Examples, but make good use
of the bad management of others.
XIII.
A Man that loves the World and its Plea∣sures,
oftentimes, from the impunity of his
Crimes past, draws the pernicious assurance
of the same for the time to come; and after
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having a long time stifled the remorse of Con∣science,
procures such a peace of Conscience,
as he calls it, that would affright any ho∣nest
Man; and ought to make you tremble,
lest you should fall into the same lethargy of
the Mind.
XIV.
Be you perswaded that this disorder resembles
the Root of a Thorn, which you may take
in your Hand, and press it, and it will do
you no harm; and may be it may seem to
you to be more smooth than the Roots of o∣ther
Plants; but as it grows up it arms it self
with Prickles, that will prick you in such sort,
that sometimes your hurts may prove Mortal:
The same effect may proceed from this disor∣der,
which at first seems to do no harm, but
afterwards cuts to the quick, and sometimes
the Wounds become so great, that it is diffi∣cult
to Cure them.
XV.
What matters it if you be not happy up∣on
Earth, provided you be so in Heaven?
What matters it if whilst you live you die to
the World, to Honours, to Pleasures, and to
your self, provided that the purity of your Con∣science
cause your Name to be writ in the
Book of Life?
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CHAP. XII.
Advice upon all that has the Air of Cou∣rage,
Choler, and promptness to quar∣rel.
I.
MY dear Children, Gentleness and Civili∣ty
is so much the Character of Men of
Quality, that they seem to have fallen below
their Birth and Rank which they hold a∣mongst
us, when they abandon themselves to
the passion of Choler.
II.
Men will suffer, and endeavour to excuse in
you your play, your Expence and your Am∣bition;
but they will never pardon your im∣patience,
your Choler, and Quarrelling;
there is something in them so unbecoming, that
they will pardon no Person in this particular.
III.
If you punish those that do not deserve it,
or punish according to the motions of a brutish
Choler, men have reason to regard you as one
that violates the Laws, under the protection
of which Innocence and Youth ought to live
in peace and quietness.
IV.
Which, in your Opinion, is the more culpable,
A young Man to whom Age has not given the
discretion to live exactly as he ought; or his
Father, or Governour, or Master, who for that
Reason uses him ill; because he hath not yet ob∣tain'd
all the Reason and Experience that a Man
of riper Years has? Whether of them is more
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to blame, a young Man that wants Discretion
at Fifteen, or a Father and Governour that has
it not at Forty?
V.
Correction, I must confess, is the Wine, of
Wisdom; but you ought to give it your Chil∣dren
moderately; the excess of it would take
away the relish of it, would disgust and make
them drunk.
VI.
All Correction given in anger, takes away
the Virtue, and destroys the effects of it; hold
it for certain, that Correction is a meat that
must be season'd, to make it wholsom and
good, otherwise it cannot be digested.
VII.
If you give Correction with Rigour, it is
as if you put precious Liquor in a poison'd Ves∣sel.
Correction the most just, and the best
grounded, loses its effect in your Mouth, if
you do it in terms full of animosity, and with
a Countenance and Eyes full of Rage and
Choler.
VIII.
A Master that always grumbles and rails a∣gainst
his Domesticks, does not well become
his place; he carries the Power the Laws
have given too far. If justice should be done
upon such Masters, who neither have Indul∣gence
nor Mercy for their Domesticks, they
would be put into the number of Slaves.
IX.
It is so seldom seen that a Man of Quali∣ty
and Probity puts himself in Choler; that it
will make Men believe, that you have neither
the one nor the other, if you fall into that Pas∣sion.
You ought never to go out of your Cha∣racter;
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and nothing, in the judgment of all
Men, will make you leave your Character
with more disdain, than senseless Quarrels that
the transports of Choler will bring you into.
X.
Sudden and rash Quarrels are Childish or
Brutal; such as are not easily excus'd in com∣mon
Souldiers and Pages; they will never
be pardon'd in you, how young soever you
be.
XI.
Your Servant commits a Fault in your pre∣sence,
by neglect, not thinking on it; he does
ill, I do not pretend to excuse him, but should
that make you commit a greater? On the con∣trary,
you ought to repair, by your prudence,
what this careless Servant has done amiss by
his folly. Learn therefore to be a Philoso∣pher,
and keep your self unmoveable on such
occasions, and shew by this evenness of temper,
that such accidents cannot produce any change
in your Mind.
XII.
Though you may have Birth, Wit, and Rich∣es,
you will never be esteemed, if you do not
add to these good Qualities, that of an even
temper, and a moderation in all your Words
and Actions.
XIII.
Do not contradict such as are prompt to
quarrel; and do not take pleasure in provo∣king
them, and they will have the same re∣gard
for you; let this Stream have its Course
which you see runs at your Feet, and do not
make it a Torrent by stopping it.
XIV.
You may be sure that Pride is the Father
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of all Vices, and Choler is his Daughter; and
it may be added, that this Daughter oftentimes
gives Arms to her Father, which makes him
Cruel, and Revengeful; so that it may be
truly said, that the Proud and Ambitious of∣tentimes,
transported by Choler, leave fatal
Marks of their Passion.
XV.
A Man Cholerick and quarrelsom, is a de∣clar'd
Enemy to Civil Society; or, what is more,
he is a Seditious Person, who prophanes all
Holy Laws; he knows neither Father nor Mo∣ther,
nor Wife nor Children; and indeed how
should he know them, since he knows not
himself.
XVI.
Choler is the only unruly Passion that pre∣tends
to justifie it self, how shameful and cri∣minal
soever this Passion may be; they that are
subject to it, pretend to have reason to be tran∣sported
on some certain occasions; and Experi∣ence
teaches us, that of all those that are tran∣sported
by Choler, there is scarce any one
that does not think it just to what extremity
soever they are carried: From whence comes
that, but that it blinds the Soul by the Darkness
which it spreads?
XVII.
Choler is nothing else but a motion sudden
and turbulent, that takes from us the free ex∣ercise
of our Actions; and that is the Reason
why we are not only angry at our Servants, but
at all those with whom we Converse; and
more at every one that would hinder us from
doing what we will. When a Pen writes not
according to our Fancy, we break it; a Game∣ster
throws his Dice and Cards out of the
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Window; a Workman is angry at his Tools,
and throws them away.
XVIII.
It is strange to see, that a Man who is
observed usually to have Prudence and Dis∣cretion
in his Affairs, should, upon a sudden,
change his Nature and Humour; and that a
motion of Anger should disorder in him all
that Reason had placed in so good order and
quiet.
XIX.
Do not suffer your self so rashly to be tran∣sported;
lay a foundation of Prudence against
all the Accidents of Life that may disturb you;
look upon your self continually; as if you were
in a frontier Garrison environ'd with Ene∣mies,
and ready to be besieg'd, and think of
all things necessary for your defence. If you
do thus, Anger can never surprize you, and its
Arms will be too Weak against a place so well
fortified, and provided with Necessaries.
XX.
At the first motions of Anger; let your Voice
be low, and your Countenance smiling; by
that means you will disarm your Enemy be∣fore
he appears and attacks you.
XXI.
If it happen that you be transported with
Choler, it is to be wish'd that you had a Look∣ing-glass
before your Eyes, you would find
your self so deform'd and different from what
you were, that the sight of this Change would
make you more moderate upon such occasions,
and you would have such an Idea of this Pas∣sion,
as would absolutely Cure you.
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XXII.
The Decency and Respect that we owe to
one another, should be the Boundaries that none
can go beyond, without doing himself wrong,
and making an ungrateful Impression of his Hu∣mour;
as long as you observe this decency and
respect, Anger will have no Power over you,
and you will be esteemed and loved for the
eavenness and moderation of your Words and
Actions.
CHAP. XIII.
Advice concerning the Judgment you ought
to make of the Words and Actions of
others.
I.
MY Dear Children, if you will gain the
Esteem and Love of all Men, see what e∣very
Man does, and hear what every Man says,
without contradicting any one. Let your
Eyes and Ears go no further than you please,
and hear obligingly all that is spoken to you,
and judge of others by your self.
II.
What is blameable in some things, impute it
to the Youth of the doer; and what cannot ab∣solutely
be excused, impute it to want of Con∣sideration,
and to a surprise that merits Par∣don.
Never make any more faulty than they
really are, and perswade others as much as
you can, that many things are done by im∣prudence
and want of consideration, and ought
not further to be thought upon.
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III.
Do not make a malicious Construction of
the Words and Actions of others, nor turn
them to the hurt or prejudice of any one; do
justice to all you have to do with, and as you
would have others do to you; remember eve∣ry
Man has his Failings, which you ought to
excuse and suffer, if you will live quietly and
peaceably with all the World.
IV.
Always take part with, and defend the Un∣fortunate;
a false appearance Deceives, and
Reports full of Injustice or Calumny, expose
them to the Censure of a hundred malicious
Spirits, that think to establish their own Re∣putation
upon the Ruin of other Mens. And
of others that have no other way of magnifying
themselves, but by disparaging and villifying
their Kindred and Neighbours; and of others
who at the expence and loss of their best Friends,
would make themselves Criticks, or Devotes,
by having something to say against every one.
V.
You know that every one has his own Hu∣mour,
and his own Wit; and you have no
right to pretend to that which is not referred to
your Judgment, and much less to give Law to
others, that they should live as you desire.
VI.
Be always circumspect in speaking of those
that make too great or too little Expence in
their way of living; let not either the one
or the other Extream trouble you.
VII.
Praise whatever you think praise worthy,
but be wary in passing Sentence upon what
you think condemnable; do not make your
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self a Judge of the actions of others; but if
you be press'd and oblig'd to speak your O∣pinion,
let it be in their favour, and to their
advantage.
VIII.
Study your own Conduct and not that of o∣thers;
examin your self without Favour or
Partiality, and never pardon your self. Use
all Severity to your self, and Indulgence to o∣thers.
If you find something to say against
every one, you will justly be taken for an Ill∣natur'd,
Unjust, and Unreasonable Man.
IX.
That you may not speak ill of any, you
ought not to think ill of any; for from the
one to the other the way is easie and short;
it is almost impossible to forbear speaking of
what you believe and think.
X.
You may and ought to pardon a thousand
little Faults in Men of Quality, when they are
Young and Unexperienc'd; to condemn them
in every thing, is to be a Critique without
Reason, and to expect an accomplish'd Wis∣dom
in a Person of Eighteen or Twenty Years
of age.
XI.
When a young Man or Youth has good In∣clinations
or Desires of doing well, you ought,
in favour to his Age, to pardon some Levities
or other small Faults; in doing this you shall
encourage him to do well, and in doing other∣wise,
the contrary.
XII.
Set not your self lightly to condemn
Women for their Carriage, when they are
neither Gamesters nor Wanton; all things else
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do not deserve to be taken notice of. Time
will teach them better to consider, than all
that you can say to their disadvantage.
XIII.
You can never, with Honour, highly con∣demn
that in Women, that you can so easily
excuse in Men. Have a care they do not
Reproach you; that it is secret Envy or Pride
in your self, that makes you speak after this
manner of them. Take care that they do
not impute what you say, to an inexcusable,
weak, or a shameful Jealousie in your self,
which is injurious to all Men that have ei∣ther
Wit, Honour, or Honesty.
XIV.
Women generally are more reserv'd and dis∣creet
than Men; and it cannot be denyed, but
that ordinarily they are more tender and Cha∣ritable
than we; wherefore then do you fall
so severely upon some of their Faults, when
you have so large a Field, and so fair an occa∣sion
to praise their Virtue. Believe me, when
you are in the Humour to censure ill Man∣ners,
spare the devout Sex, and consider your
own, you will find enough there to move
your Gall, and exercise your Wit.
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CHAP. XIV.
Advice concerning what thoughts we should
have of Greatness and Riches; of our
Losses, and the Misfortunes of our
Lives.
I.
MY Dear Children, you will never be un∣happy,
if you do not think you are so;
for Happiness generally depends more upon the
Opinion we have of things, than upon the things
themselves.
II.
It happens very often, that one is thought
unhappy in the Opinion of Men, when in ef∣fect
he is not so; if you be no otherwise un∣happy
than so, you will have no cause to com∣plain;
and in my Opinion, you will be more
a subject of Envy than Pity.
III.
All our Losses and Disgraces will be lookt
upon with another Eye; if we know their
Nature, their Causes, and their End; and if we
look upon our selves as Men condemn'd to
Humiliations and Afflictions, and not as Men
aspiring to nothing but Riches, Honours, and
Pleasures. Look upon your self, in good ear∣nest,
after this manner, and afterwards see if
you have any Reason to complain.
IV.
If you will consider things Morally, you
must agree, that all things that happen; is by
the ordinary course of Life, and our Birth
makes us subject to them; and by consquence,
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you must submit your self, and accustom your
self to them; and if you see some Men exempt
from these Misfortunes, stay a little and ex∣pect,
and you need not expect long, and you
will see that they have their share of them as
others, and perhaps a greater share than most
others.
V.
Your Grief will augment and gather new
force, if you be so sensible of it; and on the
contrary, you may assure your self, that if you
have the Constancy to suffer it patiently, it will
diminish.
VI.
If two Persons suffer the same Evil, it will
always be said, that he that torments himself,
and complains most, suffers most; but he that
suffers more than comes from the Evil it self,
does so from the manner and mind with which
he suffers it.
VII.
To speak well of Pain and its nature, you
ought to be perswaded, that if it be long, it
is but little; and if it be violent, it does not
last long, and it will put an end to the Grief
that it causes; upon this Principle it will not
be hard to direct your Discourse.
VIII.
Affliction will never have any Power over
you, but what you give it your self.
IX.
There is no Pain, how sensible soever it be,
that does not lose half its force, by the Cou∣rage
you have to suffer it; when you resist it,
it will fly from you; if you yield, it will
triumph; in a word, you disarm it when you
do not submit to its Power.
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X.
If you do not accustom your self to suffer,
the smallest Pain will seem great; it is enough
that it is a Pain that obliges you to suffer with
trouble, and oftentimes even with impati∣ence.
XI.
There are some that seem more content in
their Sufferings than others in their Pleasures;
every one is well or ill, according as he finds
himself. The Martyrs had more joy in the
midst of their Torments, than the Tyrants that
condemn'd them could taste in their good
Cheer, their high Fortune and great Riches.
XII.
Sin excepted, there is nothing ill in its own na∣ture;
it is but the use that is made of it that
makes it so: a streight Oar is crooked in the
Water; it is not enough to see things, but the
means to see them well, that makes them pass for
what they are▪ it is not that which Men believe
of you, will make you happy, but that which
you your self believe.
XIII.
There is more strength required to bear
the Chain that binds us, than to break it. There
is more force of Mind to suffer the Miseries of
Life, than to kill himself to be deliver'd from
them: There is more Courage in following
the Example of Regulus, than that of Cato.
XIV.
All the Losses and Disgraces imaginable, are
not great enough to justifie you in the weakness
of wishing your own death; in these cases
you must think of nothing but to compose your
Mind and Courage to suffer patiently.
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XV.
If you can be sufficient for your self, and
out of your own proper Stock find wherewith
to entertain your Happiness, or to fly the Evils
that threaten you, all possest and full of what
you desire, you your self will be the Object
of your Attention, your Thoughts, and your
Love, like those Aegyptian Husband-men, who
never look'd towards Heaven for Rain, because
the over-flowing of the Nile was all their
Hopes, and all their Riches. All your Wish∣es
ought to aim at nothing, but that you may
peaceably enjoy all your Advantages, and to
have possession of your self; but the goodness
of God gives you leave, not to be content with
your self; he permits that Afflictions and Sick∣ness
should make you know, that there is an
Eternal Good, of which you ought to think,
and not to recken upon those Goods that may
be taken from you every Hour, and the enjoy∣ment
of which must end with your life.
XVI.
Whatsoever happens to you, you ought not to
think your self unhappy; if your Wives be as
they ought, and your Children well inclined;
believe me, when you have Reason to be plea∣sed
with your Domesticks, all the rest ought to
seem to you indifferent.
XVII.
If you have no good Fortune, support your
Disgraces like a good Christian, with a Constan∣cy
such as may make the Philosophers asha∣med.
It is not the first time that Religion in∣spir'd
with such Thoughts, and Grace has tri∣umph'd
over the World and Nature.
XVIII.
God dispences his Gifts as he pleases; one
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has Health; another has Wit; another has
Birth; which is the most happy? certainly he
which makes best use of what he has, and is
content with what he is; and by consequence,
it may be said, that your Happiness is in your
own Hands, and depends upon your self; make
a serious reflection upon it, and you will find
it so.
XIX.
A Mind compos'd and well perswaded of
the Christian Truths, judges of things as he
ought, and not according to the Opinion of the
World; and the esteem they set upon their Rich∣es,
Honour, and Pleasure, is all the Happiness
of a Man of this World; do not make them
yours, but search for a Happiness that is not
subject to the Misfortunes, Losses, and Afflicti∣ons
which happen every Day of our Lives in
this World.
XX.
In all things that concern your self, do not
use the Balance of the World, but your own;
that of the World will never be just to you,
because it neither knows the bottom of your
Heart, nor the disposition of your Mind; it
judges upon false and deceitful Appearances;
some pass in the World for the most Happy
Men, who think themselves the most unhappy.
XXI.
Your Birth, your Wit, and your Riches can∣not
make you content, because there is a tran∣quility
of Mind, and a true Happiness that is
not to be found in these outward Advantages;
and without this peace of Mind, and this true
Happiness, you will still be Poor in the midst
of Riches, and not content in the middle of
Pleasures.
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XXII.
It is sufficiently spoken in the World, that
this Life is full of Afflictions and Evils; and
for one rich Man that is content, there are a
Hundred that are not so; but none would be
of the greater number; every one desires to
be this one Man, distinguished and chosen of
a Hundred; why should you flatter your self
with this distinction.
XXIII.
We all confess, and acknowledge, that Na∣ture
has made us subject to a Thousand Mise∣ries,
we know that the Subordination that
God has established amongst us, that the disho∣nesty
of some, the imprudence of others, and our
own Passions, expose us to a thousand Losses
and Disgraces; but we draw our selves out
of the Crowd, and our self-love is the Cause
that we cannot see our selves amongst the Un∣happy,
without murmering and Complaining;
why do we do our selves this Favour? Do
we see any thing that gives us Reason to
do it?
XXIV.
Do not look upon Losses and Disgraces as
real Evils, but as occasions to make us have a
dependence upon the Providence of God, and
to do it with respect and submission.
XXV.
If it be from the Providence of God, and
from his power, that you find your self induc'd
to praise him; that the Plains and the Woods,
the Valleys and the Mountains, the Flies and
the Elephants, are the Proofs of his infinite
Power, you ought not to have less induce∣ments
to praise him, from the different states
of the Poor and Rich, the Sick and the Sound,
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Shepherds and Kings, are the astonishing proofs
of his adorable Providence.
XXVI.
Set all these Truths always in your sight; the
more you consider them, the less Esteem and
Love will you have for Worldly Riches and
Pleasures.
XXVII.
Let the Law that commands you to live
contented in the State that God has plac'd
you in, be always well-pleasing to you; have
no less submission to his Order, in what re∣lates
to Riches, than in what relates to the ad∣vantages
of your Birth and Witt.
XXVIII.
You never yet thought that you had Reason
to complain, that you had not lived in Ages
past; and you have no more reason to com∣plain
of the Riches that another Man pos∣sesses,
because God is the disposer of Riches
as well as Times; he has made your Birth
in such an Age as it has pleased him; he
has likewise given you such Riches as has
pleased him; in all that you have, you have
nothing to do but to lift up your Eyes to
Heaven, and to bless him that has given
you what you have, and made you what
you are.
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CHAP. XV.
Advice upon true and false Devotion.
I.
MY Dear Children, know that false Devo∣tion
consists in this, that you desire to be
thought a Good, and Pious Man; and true
Devotion, that you be really so.
II.
If you do nothing but in the Sight of God,
and nothing but for his sake, you will cer∣tainly
be of the Number of truly Devout; but
there are few that have Motives so pure; that
Interest and Reputation have not some share in
what they do.
III.
Then when you are about to do some good
Action, and have forsaken the World, per∣haps
you will not have forsaken your self;
have a care that a little self-love and Vanity,
be not in your Way when you do it.
IV.
I say further, have a care that when you
have forgotten the World in your Memory,
you do not retain it in your Heart; and when
you think you have absolutely forsaken it, have
a care that the World do not more live in you,
than you in the World.
V.
When you do a good deed with applause,
it may lose the half of its merit, because it is al∣most
impossible, that Nature will not also
find its Account; and that doing this good
Deed, you be not puft up with the Reputation
it brings you.
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VI.
It is not sufficient, that (to be a good Man)
you do no ill, but you must do good. To
do no ill, because perhaps you are not in a
condition to effect it, or your Humour and In∣clinations
does not lead you to it; this is no
great matter; there is neither Merit nor Vir∣tue
in it.
VII.
There needs but one bad Inclination to
make a Man Vitious, but a great many good
inclinations are necessary to make a Man Vir∣tuous;
for that Reason there are few that are
Virtuous, but the number is great of those
that are not so.
VIII.
It will be easie for you to live without
Trouble or Sickness; if you do not love Glut∣tony
and Drunkenness; but if you love Mo∣ney,
it will be difficult for you not to be cove∣tous,
as it is for them that are brought up, and
accustomed to Pleasures, to renounce them for
ever.
IX.
The Merit of an Action is greater by the
Circumstances and Motives that caused it; that
is the Reason that he that gives a little, some∣times
gives more than he that gives a great
deal more.
X.
Of two Persons that discourse together of
Virtue, he that speaks most does not always
speak the best; nor yet he that speaks the best,
is not always the most Virtuous Man; but
of the three, he that most desires to be so, and
that is most industrious to become so. A Man
cannot love and esteem Virtue, except he be a
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Possessor of it; that is the Reason he loves it,
and that he is always afraid to lose it.
XI.
A Woman loves Beauty, but not for the love
she bears to Beauty, but because she loves her
self; that is the Reason she does not love it in
others, and that she is jealous of those that are
like her self; it is not the same with you. If
you love Virtue in others, it is a Proof that
you love your self less than you love Virtue;
and that it pleases you in all Persons where
you find it.
XII.
Do good without regard what others will
say; and never consider what Reflexions others
will make. Do good because you love it;
and love it because it is amiable, and because
you ought to love it.
XIII.
When a good Man will do a good Deed,
and hide it from the sight of Men, he has God
for a Witness of the action; he sees nothing
but God; all about him is nothing but Air,
that neither makes him that acts change po∣sture
or action; and one may say of that Man,
that the World is with him, but he is not
with the World.
XIV.
A good Man, when in the Church he is
seen by all; he shuts not his Eyes, nor looks
more up to Heaven, nor is he long upon his
Knees; he contents himself with a modest out∣ward
appearance; that is enough for them that
see him; but in the bottom of his Heart he
gives himself up to the sweet motions of Grace;
he hearkens to God, and adores his Greatness,
his Power and goodness; all that comes not
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to the Knowledge of them that see him, and
that is it which he desires.
XV.
A good Man is always good; if he change
his manner of living, it is but to accommodate
himself to the place where he is, and to the
Employment he finds himself engaged in. He
has always the same Thoughts, the same End,
and the same Design; he only changes the
Way to go where he desires to go, and seeks
out new means to serve God, and procure
his glory.
XVI.
A good Man that does good, and instructs
others, is like a Mother that eats Bread and
Meat, that with it she may feed her Child;
but he that is good only in appearance, and
though he talks often of Virtue, yet one may
say that this Hypocrite may be compared to the
Raven, that every day brought Bread and
Flesh to the Prophet Elias to feed him, with
which she did not feed her self.
XVII.
If you propose, in some certain actions, an
Honest and Christian end, and do not so in
others, you will be like the false Coiners, who
to make a false piece pass, cover it over with
Gold or Silver, and give it the stamp of the
Prince.
XVIII.
If you be indeed a good Man, you will al∣ways
agree with your self, what you will do
one day, you will do always, all your actions
will have the same end; you will not hide
your self, or shew your self more in one action
than in another; you will always have the same
Zeal, the same Prudence, and the same Mo∣desty.
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XIX.
If you be good only in appearance, you will
not always act upon the same Principle; you
will oftentimes take from your actions and em∣ployments
the merit that they might have had,
because you will never entirely be what you
ought to be. I would say, you will part and
divide your self; every thing within you will
be at variance and contradiction; your outside
will always gives the Lie to what your have in
your Heart, and you will be nothing like to
what you appear to be.
XX.
To be a good Man in your Ecclesiastick sta∣tion,
you must act otherwise than you do in
your Secular Employments, or in a Married
state; these different stations require a different
manner of acting; such a Man would be a good
Man, if he was but a Lay Man, who does not
enough to be so, having enter'd into the Pro∣fession
of a Clergy-man. Such a Lay Man
does more than he ought to do. Neither the
one nor the other are in the Ways where God
has plac'd them, or if they be, the one walks
in it two slowly, and the other too swiftly;
the one stands still and turns back, the other,
by going too fast, goes too far and loses him∣self.
XXI.
The unhappiness that befalls those that would
live with Honour and Probity, comes from this,
that they do not take care to govern their Life
and Actions according to their Profession. You
see Men retired and entred into Religious Or∣ders,
and you take your Model from them;
that is it which God does not require of you,
if you be a Magistrate, or serve your Prince in
his Armies.
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XXII.
The practice of Devotion in others general∣ly
pleases us, yet we do not exercise our selves
in the practice of it in the station we are in;
this is the Reason that there are but few good
Men, because there are few that do what they
ought to do, and nothing but what they ought
to do.
XXIII.
Do not trouble your self with the Morti∣fications
and Austerities of others, but always
remember what you are; do not measure your
own strength by that of others; whether you
be a Man of the Robe, or of the Sword, do
not pretend, by a false Zeal, to live as a Bene∣diction;
this fickle and fantastick Conduct will
make you live neither like a Benediction, nor
like a Man of the Robe nor of the Sword.
XXIV.
The secret of Devotion is never to utter it,
and not to make your self known, by the ex∣cess
and extremity of making an outward
show.
XV.
An easie and equal way of Life, is always a
Mark of great Piety. Never do any thing
extraordinary without Advice; but it is not
necessary to take Advice to do extraordinary
well in those things which you are accustom∣ed
to do, and what you see others do.
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CHAP. XVI.
Ʋpon the same Subject.
I.
MY Dear Children, do not think to get
Honour by your Devotion, nor exercise
it to be seen, or to serve your Interests or De∣signs.
II.
There is a great difference betwixt a Good
Man and a Devote or Zealot; the one loves
Virtue, and labours continually to acquire it;
the other desires only to appear so; that which
is done without making a show, does not please
him, he is content to be taken for a devout one.
III.
If you be truly Religious, you will speak
little of it, but do much; if you be not in ef∣fect
what you would seem to be, you will talk
much, but do little according to what you
say.
IV.
If you are truly touch'd with Piety, you
will mortifie your self as much as you can;
you will be gentle and modest, and you will
deny your self; but if you are Pious only in
appearance, you will love only your self, and
seek your own Ease upon all occasions; you
will be querulous and impatient, and you will
do any thing to satisfie your Ambition or your
Curiosity.
V.
If you be one of those that feign themselves
Devouts, you will desire to be Honour'd, and
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consider'd as such by all; that is your desi∣rable
Character. You will be an irreconcile∣able
Enemy to all that do not give you the Ho∣nour
that you think is due to you; you will
be so wedded to your own Opinions, that you
will always maintain them with Obstinacy, and
never acknowledge any ones Reason but your
own.
VI.
A good Man is always equal and just to all
the World; but a Hypocrite is sometimes
pleas'd sometimes angry. He is offended at all
and pleas'd with none; the one is good to his
Servants, and takes great care of them in their
Sickness, and rewards their Services; the o∣ther
is Passionate and Cholerick, and can suffer
nothing, and upon the least fault takes occasion
to turn his Servants away.
VII.
A truly upright Man is not hard to please
in his Eating and Drinking; there is nothing
good enough, nor well enough dress'd for the
Hypocrite. The one, with care to be secret,
gives Alms, and does his good Works. The
other does it in the sight of the World, and
boasting of them; the one thinks of pleasing
nothing but God, and the other nothing but
Men.
VIII.
A Man when he cannot make himself con∣siderable
in the World, oftentimes thinks to do
it by turning Devout and Religious, and that
is easily done. He needs but reform his out∣side,
to put on a severe and sowre look, to censure
all Men, and to keep Company with those that
are Religious, or those that seem so; so he
that was known to love the World, and was
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remarkable for his Vanity and profuseness, and
perhaps for his Debauchery; upon a sudden
turns his Tongue, and speaks in the Tone of
a Devout.
IX.
Perhaps you may object to me, and say, what
then is there no Repentance for those that have
been carried away, and seduced by the Pleasures
of the World? God forbid that I should have
such a Thought; there is assuredly a Way left
to return, but it is not so easie; a Man will
not so easily find God whom he hath sought so
little.
X.
Your greatest troubles are caused by your
ill Habits, and your ungovern'd Passions; to
find ease of these Troubles, you ought not to
seek it in your Country-Houses of Pleasure,
nor in great Offices and Employments, or in the
Confidence you may have in your Friends; these
Remedies will always be too feeble for so great
Evils. If you enter into your self, and there
search for that which you cannot find any where
else; perhaps you will find there a Seditious
Revolt and a Domestick War. You will see
all in trouble and in Arms; and you will ac∣knowledge,
that you have no greater Enemies
than your self.
XI.
What therefore must you do in this deplo∣rable
juncture? you must have recourse to
God, he must be your only Refuge; but to
have him favourable to you, you must have
recourse unto him with great earnestness, with
great Love and Faith.
XII.
To have recourse to God on this manner, is
not to devote your self to God by Habit and
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Profession, and make Religion a Refuge in
your Losses and Disgraces, nor to be devout
for your Worldly Interest, or your Vanity.
XIII.
Many things are permitted to the Devout, or
Votaries, which are refused to those that are
not consider'd as such; they are always in the
practice of good Works always in the com∣pany
of good and pious Persons; they hear no∣thing
talk'd of but Love and Charity, and up∣on
these things they form an Idea of their own
Piety and Merit; and this Devote that looks
upon himself as no more subject to humane
Frailties, falls oftentimes into a Pride like that
of the fall'n Angels.
XIV.
The first thing that this false Devote does,
is to seek out a Director that is not too se∣vere,
and complies a little with his Infirmities;
this Devote looks upon himself as a publick
Person, for whose safety all the World ought
to be concern'd, and who ought to be look'd up∣on
with more respect than others; he is so
conceited with the Service he renders to the
Poor and to the Church, that he perswades
his Director to the same, who in this Vow
governs him on all occasions, so that this Vo∣tary
and Religious Person lives at his Ease, and
suffers nothing repugnant to his Nature.
XV.
So it is of a Votary, as of a good Wit, both
have their just value; to be a Man of Probity,
and of good Understanding, he must be well
furnished both with the one and the other.
XVI.
If you be truly Religious and Devout, you
should seem to the World not to be so; Humi∣lity
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is the Seal and essential Proof of true Pie∣ty.
Devotion in Hipocrites, is like the Dust
that the Wind carries away every Hour; and
in the truly Pious, it is like a Tree that hath
taken deep Root, that the Winds and storms
cannot remove.
XVII.
When I speak of the Devotes of one sort,
and desire you should not be of the number,
do not mistake me, and think I speak against
true Devotion, but against the pretended one
of Hypocrites; my intention is not to decry
true Piety, it cannot be too much or too of∣ten
praised, and no Tongue is sufficient to shew
its value; my design is only to make you un∣derstand
a false Devotion; that is, a Worldly
and Feigned one, and that you be not deceiv∣ed
by it.
XVIII.
Nothing does so much prejudice to true Pie∣ty,
as the false Zeal of those that make a
Trade of it; their Vanity, Avarice, and De∣ceit,
is the cause that the same Faults are un∣justly
charged upon the truly Humble, Up∣right,
and Charitable.
XIX.
The difference of the true and false De∣votion,
is the same with that of a Natural and
a Painted Beauty; the one without care or
Artifice, always appears what it is; the other
is nothing but fair Red and White laid on,
which when omitted for haste, or forgetful∣ness,
cannot have the esteem that it had obtain∣ed
before by their means.
XX.
If you have true Piety, it will always
be taken for such, without your care to
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make it appear so; and on the contrary, if
your Devotion be feigned, you must always be
upon your guard and watchful, to make your
self pass for what you really are not.
XXI.
The truly and seemingly Pious, are often
seen together, and the likeness of their out∣ward
behaviour, makes them strictly keep
Company, and may be thought to be well
pleased with one another; the first have a
good Opinion of those which they believe
like themselves, and the last would have their
Friends and Kindred believe this good Opinion
the first had on them. Charity is the Motive
that unites the one, and Vanity or Interest the
Motive that unites the other.
XXII.
A false Devote is oftentimes a Covetous or
Ambitious Man in disguise, that gives himself
this good Name to hide his Avarice or Ambiti∣on.
You must have Judgment and Discretion,
not to mistake the one for the other.
XXIII.
A false Devote seems always what he is not,
and almost never what he is; and to deceive
the World, he takes the Counsel Jeroboam gave
to his Wife, to surprise the Prophet Abias, he
changes his outside, but his Heart is the same;
and as Rebecca gave to Jacob the Garments of
Esau to deceive Isaac, so he takes the Gar∣ments
of Jacob to gain the esteem of all that see
him.
XXIV.
Be upright always, but never endeavour to
seem more upright than you are. Hypocrisie
is a Vice hated both by God and Man; and
I must think that it is better to be a Libertine,
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than a Hypocrite, because one repents sooner
than the other; and it is more easie for a Sin∣ner
to know himself in a disorderly and un∣godly
Life, and to return; than in a false and
pretended Piety; of all Vices, Pride is that
which God hates the most.
CHAP. XVII.
Advice against Covetousness, and all that
relates to it.
I.
MY Dear Children, there is a great diffe∣rence
betwixt a Frugal and a Covetous
Man; the one is a good manager, and knows
how to use the Riches God has given him,
and not dissipate them; the other condemns
him for his Prudent Conduct, and knows not
how to make use of the Riches God has given
him; the one follows the Natural and Divine
Light, that teaches him to use all things with
Prudence; the other shuts his Eyes to those
Lights, and not trusting to Divine Providence,
and upon a necessity which he feigns, and which
will never come to pass, will not use what he
has, lest he should want; not believing that God
will not forsake those that trust in him.
II.
Experience makes us know, that great Rich∣es
does not make a contented Mind, and that
the more a Man has, the more he would have;
what Troubles and Torments will you cause in
your self, if all your Desires are placed in heap∣ing
up Riches? What perplexities, fears, and
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discontents will you always have, if you bend
all your Thoughts upon adding Bag to Bag,
and to fill your Coffers.
III.
The Covetous Man thinks himself happy,
because he possesses that which the World so
much desires; but never dreams that he heaps
up a Treasure of Anger for the day of Venge∣ance,
and that the Money that he keeps so
close, will rise up against him in the Day of
Judgment. Because, according to the Opinions
of the Holy Fathers, the Covetous are in some
sort Murtherers of those they do not relieve;
and that they take away the Lives of the Poor,
by not giving them what is necessary to pre∣serve
it. What do I say! It is certain, some∣times
they are self-murtherers, when they re∣fuse
themselves the necessaries of Life, as they
often do.
IV.
When God forbids Lusts, he does not mean
the Lusts of the Flesh only, but also the immo∣derate
Desire of Riches, a Desire that you can
never enough fight against; for nothing is more
ordinary than to form Desires of this Nature,
and to make them without scruple of Consci∣ence.
V.
Be not you of the number of those that are
more covetous than the Jews, that think that
the heaping up of Riches is permitted them, and
that they may lawfully, on all occasions, search
the means of becoming Rich.
VI.
I wish that Experience may not convince you,
that Avarice is a fertile Sin that brings forth ma∣ny
others. I desire that Experience may not
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make you know that Covetousness is the Foun∣tain
of all sorts of Vices; in truth it cannot be
denyed but that all Robberies and Thefts, both
secret and publick, all Murthers and Cruel∣ties,
are but the different streams that flow from
this Fountain.
VII.
You cannot too much observe that Avarice
confounds and destroys all things; it is by that,
that all the Principles of Religion are despised,
that the foundation of Justice is destroy'd; it
is by that, that Judges do not discern the
Truth, and that the Advocates disguise it;
it is by that, that Widows and Orphans are op∣prest;
and lastly, it is by that, that we see so
many Poor shamefully brought to the last ex∣tremity.
VIII.
If it were not for Covetousness, you should
not see so much Faith-breaking amongst Mer∣chants;
so much deceit in Trade; so much
cheating at Play; so many false Bankrupts in
Commerce; so much Injustice at the Bar, and
so much Symony in the Church.
IX.
It is Covetousness that makes the Rich to
ruin the Poor, and to seize their Goods; if it
were not for Covetousness, every one would
pay his Debts, and it would be a pleasure to
assist the Poor and Sick.
X.
You will disgrace your self by Covetousness;
your Servants will not suffer it, but will quit
you every day; you will grieve every one
that you have to do with, you will have no
Friends; and to speak the truth in a word,
you will be good for nothing, but to be shut
up in your Closet with your Counters, to
count how much you have spared and scraped
up together.
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XI.
If you be Covetous, you will be always dis∣content,
always murmuring, and always old
before your time.
XII.
If you be Covetous, you will be unsupport∣able
to your Wives and Children, to your Ser∣vants,
and oftentimes to your selves. You will
torment your selves, because your Birth or Em∣ployments
oblige you to make a greater Ex∣pence
than you desire.
XIII.
If you be Covetous when you are to make a∣ny
extraordinary Expence, you will be a Week
in resolving upon it, and then will have need
of a Dozen to comfort you after you have
done it.
XIV.
Look upon Covetousness as a Vice Hateful
to all Persons of Birth and Wit; look upon Co∣vetousness
as a Domestick Evil, that troubles
the Peace of all the Family, and does not give
a moment of quiet to those that are subject to
it.
XV.
Take pleasure in the managament of Money,
but not in the heaping it up; it is a Pleasure
to make an Expence proportionable to what a
Man has, but it is not one to sit down, and eve∣ry
Day to count what a Man has.
XVI.
To what purpose is it that your Coffers are
full of Gold and Silver, if you make no use of
it? And if the more you have, the more you
desire to have; if you be Rich no otherwise
but in this manner, one may well say, that you
possess that which you have not, and that you
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have what you possess not; and that by Con∣sequence,
it is your Coffers that are Rich, and
not you, and that the Gold you have does not
make you more Happy, than if it was yet in
the Bowels of the Earth.
XVII.
If you be Rich on this fashion, your De∣sires
will lead you still to hoard up, and not to
touch what you have gather'd, and so you will
labour Day and Night for your Coffers, and
not for your self, and you will enrich them at
your own expence.
XVIII.
And when you are Rich in this manner, your
Cares, your Troubles and Discontents will eat
you to the Heart, and make you Old to that
degree, that all Men will judge you to be
Twenty or Thirty Years older than you real∣ly
are.
XIX.
If you water a sandy Ground, it will not
appear less dry; if you lay more Wood upon
the Fire, it will not extinguish it, but make it
burn more fiercely; it is the same of Cove∣tousness,
the more one heaps up, the more he
desires it: and the insatiable desire of having,
will not diminish, neither because you augment
your Treasure every Day, nor because you
possess it.
XX.
When you have Money in your Coffers, and
do not make use of it, you are neither Master
nor Possessor of it, but only the Keeper. You
will not have the Pleasure that the Enjoyment
of your Riches would give you; you will on∣ly
have the trouble and pains of gathering of
them, and the fear of losing them.
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XXI.
If you be Covetous, you will value nothing
but Gain, Honour and Glory will have no share
in your Designs; you will never consult them
in whatsoever you undertake; and you will
think you will steal from your self whatsoever
you give to others; and whatsoever you allow
to your self more than necessaries.
CHAP. XVIII.
Advice upon Vanity and true Glory.
I.
MY Dear Children, I know a Man of Qua∣lity,
who passes for an Insolent and Proud
Man with those that do not know him; and I
assure you that never Man was less so than he;
his fine Liveries, his splendid Equipage, and
number of Servants, and his high looks do him
wrong; when a Man is acquainted with him,
he finds him upon all occasions very civil, fami∣liar,
and obliging, and one half Hours Conver∣sation
gives the lie to all these appearances, and
destroys all the prejudices a Man has entertain'd
of him. I speak not of this Man, but to ap∣prove
in you such Qualities, that you are not
proud but of your Birth, good Behaviour and
Merit; and that these Advantages should al∣ways
be maintain'd by your Civility and Com∣plaisance
with all the World; and that this
should make you esteem'd and belov'd of all;
therefore the Advice I have to give you upon
this point, is, that you always preserve, as you
do, such an outward Deportment as they ought
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to have that are well Born, and that it always
be accompanied with a civility that appears
natural in you, and which all the World have
reason to approve.
II.
A Man should not be thought vain, because
he appears so; he should not be consider'd as
such, but when his Words and Actions make
him known that he is really so.
III.
There is so strict a connexion betwixt Civi∣lity
and Humility, that they are almost insepa∣rable;
it is for that Reason that St. Bernard
assures us that they are two Sisters; the one
hides her self as much as she can, and retiring
into the bottom of the Heart, never desires to
appear, or to be taken notice of; the other to
the contrary, makes her self known at all times,
and gives indifferently to all the World Proofs
of what she is; the same may be said of Pride
and Vanity; they are very seldom one without
the other, though one of them hides it self upon
all occasions, the other shews her self every
moment.
IV.
No Man desires to be thought vain; it is a
Fault that a Man takes care to hide from him∣self,
but he is not asham'd to be taken for a
proud Man, or for a Man that would be di∣stinguish'd
from others; and one who thinks he
deserves to be taken notice of for what he is, a
Man of Worth and Value.
V.
It is easie to judge whether a Man be Vain
or no, when a Man does not pay him all the
Respect that he thinks his due; his Pride ta∣king
offence, makes his Vanity appear; the
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one comes to help the other, to give a perfect
Idea of him, which one desires to know.
VI.
If we were not almost all of us unjustly per∣swaded
of our own merit, we should always di∣scover
in others some Virtue that we our selves
want; and we should always find Reasons to
submit to them; but we are such partial lovers
of all that is in us, or of all that comes from us,
that we believe (when any one praises another)
he steals our own Praises, and gives them to
him. I shall think you happy if you do not find
this fault in your self, or that it be not really
in you.
VII.
It is a mistake to imagin, that we cannot do
an action that is taken notice of, except we be
moved to it by Vanity; every one may make
himself known according to the Employment he
is in, without the Thoughts of being prais∣ed
and applauded for it. The joy of perform∣ing
his Duty well, is a sufficient reward for
one who seeks to acquit himself with Honour,
and never desires to carry the Fame of it fur∣ther.
VIII.
It is of good actions in respect of Vanity, as
of patience in respect to Peace of Mind; when
a Man is accustom'd to suffer without complain∣ing,
and when a Man enjoys himself in his Sor∣rows
and Afflictions, and the quiet of his Mind
is not disturb'd, it is the same of performing
good actions without Vanity, and making a
Habit of it; Uprightness and Honesty are na∣turalliz'd
in us, and are turn'd into our Sub∣stance,
and become the Rule of all we do.
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IX.
If you have suckt in greatness with your
Milk, and that the Air that you breath in, be
an Air full of Respect that is due to you from
your high Birth; think oftentimes that you
are Men, and that Men are subject to a Thou∣sand
Frailties like others; do not make your
self drunk with what flatters the Flesh and the
Senses, and do not applaud your self for your
great Riches, Birth, and seeming Happiness;
enter into your self from time to time, and
there learn Christian Lessons; learn to humble
your selves before God, when all Men cry you
up before the World.
X.
You may be Rich and considerable by your
Birth, or by your Places, without being vain;
as you may be brought low and poor without
being humble.
XI.
Vanity is of all Countries, and no Country
is strange to her; she has been and will be in
all Ages, and all sorts of Governments; and
she will be found to the end of the World in
all Professions; it is but the manner of being
Rich or Poor will make you Humble or Vain.
XII.
Humility and Modesty are not always con∣fin'd
to Cloysters or Solitudes, they are found
sometimes in the Palaces of Princes, and in the
middle of Courts; and there they draw to them
the greatest esteem, where they find the greatest
opposition; where all fight against them, they
triumph over all.
XIII.
Praise ought to be consider'd as the Shadow
of a good action, it follows it and does not
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go before it; so that he that does a good action
that he may be praised for it, reverses the or∣der
of things, and puts that before which should
come behind.
XIV.
Man is so propense to Vanity, that he often
seeks Honour from the Vanity of another, and
sometimes makes himself the Author of a Song
or Madrigal, which he never made; and they
that are deceived, not knowing the Author, are
not in the humour to make enquiry, and to con∣vince
him of being false in a trifle of this nature.
XV.
The glory that Men of the World search
with such earnestness, is for the most part so
ill established, and of so little duration, that
it cannot better be compared to any thing than
to what appears in a Dream, or upon a Thea∣ter;
a Dream passes, and a Comedy ends, and
there scarce remains any Memory of them.
XVI.
So many Heathen Philosophers have given
us Examples of despising glory; that it is
amazing that we can make it the Object of
our Vows and Wishes. Those Philosophers
ought to be always before our Eyes, and tho'
dead, ought to instruct us, and inspire us with
Thoughts capable to make us ashamed of those
we have had, and of those which yet we may
have.
XVII.
Sometimes we condemn Vain-glory, but yet
we love it, and pursue it like to Rivers which
fly themselves, and at the same time follow
themselves; we are so filled with Vanity, that
we flie our selves, and seek our selves, and do
not find our selves contented either with the
one or the other▪
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XVIII.
We fly Pride under its own Name, but give it
more specious and honest Names, and then run
after it; and, in a word, we disguise it so to
our selves, that it no longer frights us, but we
love it without scruple; and even so we de∣ceive
our selves with Pleasure, and are sworn
Enemies to Pride, if our own Words may be
believ'd; but we make it all our care, and
the delight of our Hearts.
XIX.
Set not too great a value upon the esteem of
Men and their Praises, for in this they are very
capricious; the true Reward of a good action
is, that you have done it, the rest depends up∣on
the Mind, and interest of those it relates to;
one will see it by a false Light, another sees
it as it is, but perhaps, through Envy, will not
speak of it as he ought.
XX.
Our Religion teaches us, that we should not
set our Love upon Worldly Honours, nor its
Praises; it teaches us to fly all the Thoughts
of Vanity that it may inspire us with; it teach∣es
you not to applaud your own Conduct, nor
to value your own merit; it teaches you not
to look upon what you have done as any
thing extraordinary, that should distinguish you
and set you above others.
XXI.
Religion teaches you not to consider your self
with a secret complaisance, and not to wish that
others may have Thoughts to your Advantage,
and not to trouble your self and be transported
against those that are noted not to comply with
you in your pretended merit.
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XXII.
This sort of Spirit will hinder you from rai∣sing
your self upon the ruin of others; this will
hinder you from regarding those things that
may distinguish you from others, as the advan∣tages
of your Birth and Wit; and this will ob∣lige
you oftentimes to cast an Eye upon your
own defaults.
XXIII.
This Spirit teaches you to value the good
that you do, and not the praises that attend it;
it teaches you not to see your self by a false
Light, and not to withdraw your self from
the true Light, to the end that all your actions
may appear to be no other than what really they
are.
XXIV.
So many Persons of Quality, of Wit, and
Merit, have renounced the glory of the World;
and by a generous disdain all that could be con∣sider'd
in it. This may make an impression up∣on
your Hearts; this that I say to you now,
is but an Eccho, to repeat to you here that
which so many brave actions have said, and
made such a noise when they have been bla∣zon'd
abroad in the World.
XXV.
The more you despise the Honours and
Praises of the World, the more you will be
esteem'd; Men will give you that with plea∣sure,
which you refuse by your Virtue; and
then the value they have for you, will come
from the Heart, and will not end in the out∣ward
Proofs of a respect that is forc'd, or in
studied affected, and extravagant praises.
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XXVI.
Delight in fearing God, and living according
to the Dictates of your Conscience, and not in
your Birth, Employments, or Riches. Value
your selves less upon being persons of Quality,
than upon your making your selves appear such
by your Life and Behaviour; which you should
take care that it be always civil and obliging:
make it your glory, that your Civilities and
good Offices that you render to all, should
more make you known who you are, than your
Equipage and number of your Servants.
XXVII.
Know ye that there is more Honour to a Man
of Quality, to be familiar with those that are
inferior in Birth, than to carry himself with
Pride and disdain towards his Inferiours.
XXVIII.
Be you always perswaded, that true Honour
consists chiefly in despising it, and doing your
Duty civilly and obligingly, without expecting
Praise or Reward. In a word, there is no
Man so full of Honour, and makes so good
use of it, as he that despises it the most.
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CHAP. XIX.
Advice upon Raillery.
I.
MY Dear Children, it is seldom that
Raillery is not offensive, and therefore
by consequence often has ill effects.
II.
Of all Railleries, those that may be made
of Princes and Soveraigns, ought most to be
avoided. You cannot be too cautious in this
point; there is always cause to repent of such
a Liberty, when you take it, and give not the
respect due to them.
III.
History teaches us, that the Emperour Do∣mitian,
who lived in the end of the first Age,
led a Life so idle and effeminate, that when he
retired into his Closet, he employed his time in
catching Flies, and killing them with a Bodkin,
as Children do Wasps; this gave occasion to
the Answer that one Vibius Crispus made to
one of his Acquaintance, who came to the Pa∣lace
to make his Court; and asking whether
any one was with the Emperour, he answer'd,
no not so much as a Flie. The Answer was plea∣sant
and witty, but I must tell you it cost
him dear.
IV.
How imprudent soever you may be in this
point, have a particular care you do not rally
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the faults of your Parents or Friends; if you
observe any, forbid your Eyes the seeing of
them, or your Tongue speaking of them.
V.
If you set your self up for a Railer,
you will be an Enemy to your own Reputa∣tion
and quiet; a Man that sets himself to
rally, puts Arms in the Hands of those that
he diverts himself with, and oftentimes re∣ceives
more Blows than he gives.
VI.
After you have rallied in a Company, and
gone out of it, you are no sooner departed
from it, but they will examin you from Head
to Foot; and one that has not spoke a Word
while you was present, will tear you with his
Teeth when you are gone, and in the mean
time you may be sure that none will take your
part; none will excuse you, or be sorry for
you; to the contrary, the most reserved by
his Silence will seem to condemn your Beha∣viour,
and approve of what is spoken of you.
VII.
It may be said of a Man that hears raillery,
that he is a Man of Wit, but the contrary of
him that makes it; the one makes a Busi∣ness
of his Wit, and without reason; the other
is Wiser, and draws himself out of it; the
one is blamed by every one, the other praised
by all.
VIII.
He that rallies without being taken notice
of, is like a Woman full of Paint and Patch∣es,
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far from pleasing, is despis'd, and every
one takes care to avoid his Company.
IX.
It is true, that oftentimes the tone and man∣ner
that one rails with, is the Reason that they
excuse him and are not offended at him; but
at the same time it must be agreed, that some∣times
they that are rallied, or those present,
have not the Judgment to understand the man∣ner,
but rather consider what was said, than
the manner of saying it.
X.
There is nothing in my Opinion, wherein
you can do your self so much Wrong, as to
set up for a Professor of Raillery; if once
you give your self this Reputation, you will
lose the confidence of your Friends, and the e∣steem
of all Persons of Honour. None will
value those who make it all their Design, and
all their Aim, to pass for a Wit and Railer,
and to divert himself at other Mens Costs. No∣thing
appears serious, nothing honest, or al∣lowable
in such a Design.
XI.
If you rally with Wit, you will make E∣nemies
with your Wit, but they will be ne∣vertheless
your Enemies; and you will never∣theless
make them think, that your Wit is not
capable of any thing better; and make them
believe that all the strength and quickness of
your Wit has no further aim, nor cannot go
further than a trifling injurious pleasantry.
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XII.
There are some, who to give themselves the
Liberty of rallying, and that none should
deny it them, begin with themselves, and first
turn themselves into Ridicule. This is to buy
this liberty very dear. I beseech you do not
you purchase it at that Rate.
XIII.
A Man of my Acquaintance, much given
to Raillery, both by Inclination and Custom,
begun to play his part as soon as he came into
Company, and said a Hundred pleasant things
of his own Nose, and other parts of his Face;
and after that he thought all things would be
permitted him, and no person escaped him;
but in truth there was more to be said against
the Humour and Wit of the Man, than against
the 〈◊〉〈◊〉, Eyes, or shape of his Face; he
〈◊〉〈◊〉 himself obnoxious to all Men of Sense
and Reason, and that understood Conversati∣on.
XIV.
If you give your self the Air and Humour
of a Rallier in all Companies; Men will not
believe you capable of any Secret or any Busi∣ness;
they will fear, and not without Reason,
that you will turn all that is serious and of con∣sequence
into jest and pleasantry; they will ne∣ver
ask your Advice upon Marriage, or any
Employment that may present it self; they
will perswade themselves that nothing solid
or serious will agree with your Wit.
XV.
In a well establish'd Government, Raillery
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ought to be banished; it is a Pest that infects
and corrupts thousands that might do the State
and Publick good Service. This Pest is so much
the more dangerous, and spreads it self more
easily, because it always appears pleasant and
agreeable.
XVI.
If these Railers were not applauded, the
Race of these Idle and ill-contriv'd Wits, would
soon be exterminated, and Conversation would
become more easie and more honest.
XVII.
By accustoming your self to rally, you will
lose the esteem you ought to have for them
with whom you live, and you will fancy a
false Idea of your own Merit and Perfections;
the oue is against Civility and Charity, the
other against Justice and Truth.
XVIII.
The more you are above others by your Birth,
Riches, or Employment, the more wary you
should be how you displease or anger them;
the Rank you are plac'd in above others, does
not give you right to despise really or affront
them; they dare not offend you, because they
fear you; do not offend them, that they may
love you.
XIX.
There are many that applaud themselves when
they have exercised a fine piece of Raillery and
Wit; but for certain, you will be better plea∣sed
with your self, than they are, when you
abstain from it; and have sacrificed some
descriptionPage 98
Words to the Reputation of others, which
will be more to your own Honour, and the
satisfaction of your Conscience.
CHAP. XX.
Of Charity and Alms which ought to be
perform'd to the Poor.
I.
MY Dear Children, Alms is a good Work,
that cannot be deny'd; but you must do
this good work rightly, if you will make it
acceptable to God, and profitable to your self.
II.
You ought not to trust to your Alms you do,
as if they should license you to continue in your
disorderly living. You ought not to purchase,
if I may so speak, this impunity by a libera∣lity
which does not cost you much, and which
your own Interest induc'd you to; your Alms
ought to be the proof and the effect of the Con∣version
of your Heart; and to supply the want
of Zeal and fervour in the mortification of your
selves; they ought to be as the Golden Key
that open's the Gate of Heaven.
III.
The sacred Scripture teaches us, that he is
Happy that has Pity on the Poor; it is there∣fore
easie to make your selves Happy for ever,
since it is natural to succour those that are in
Misery. And why shall you he Happy? Be∣cause
you shall have good Advocates, and pow∣erful
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Intercessors in Heaven; the Alms that
you give to the Needy shall speak continu∣ally
for you.
IV.
The Sacred Scripture teaches us farther, that
none can believe in God, and make profession
of being a Christian, without loving of Mercy;
it appears by this Expression, that you ought
not only to give Alms bountifully, but that
you should take pleasure in doing it, and seek
for occasions to do it.
V.
A Father of the Church assures us, that we
cannot be pleas'd with giving Alms, except we
be verily perswaded, that the good we do to
others, we do to our selves; and that we give
to our selves what we give to others in their
Necessity; and that we put a little Earth in
the Hands of the Poor, by which we gain
Heaven.
VI.
If you have Faith, you will do your self
Honour and Pleasure, in succouring the Word
incarnate in the Persons of the Poor, who are
his Members.
VII.
What joy and glory ought it to be, to give
to him who has given to us all that we have,
and who has made us all that we are.
VIII.
When you refuse the Poor that ask of you,
you do great wrong to your selves; for the
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Scripture positively says, that to do Charity to
the Poor and Sick, is to lend to the Lord up∣on
great Interest, who will certainly pay a∣gain
what is lent him.
IX.
God forbids us to lend to Men upon Usury,
but he not only permits us, but commands us
to do it to him; Usury, in regard to Men
is Criminal, and punished with eternal Death;
and to the contrary, our Usury, in regard to
God, is innocent and profitable, of which a
happy life, that never shall have an end, is
the infallible Reward.
X.
God has no need of your Money, it is he
that gives us all we have, but the Poor have
need of it; and when you give Alms to the Poor,
God receives them by their Hands; the Poor
cannot render what you give them, and can
make no other acknowledgment than to Pray
for you; which when they do, they say at it
were, O Lord God, we have received some Mo∣ney,
we can never pay it again; good God pay
it for us, if you please. He is good Security;
you give Credit to a Man, if a Rich Man be
Security for him; with greater Reason you
ought to trust God, when he obliges himself to
repay what is advanced upon his Promise and
Security.
XI.
The Poor have a right to the temporal
Goods of the Rich, as well as the Rich have
a right to the Spiritual Goods of the Poor;
they depend reciprocally the one on the other.
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The Poor have recourse to the Rich, to suc∣cour
them in this Life; the Rich have recourse
to the Poor, to obtain in the other World, by
their Prayers, the pardon of their Sins.
XII.
You are therefore oblig'd by Justice and In∣terest
to give Alms; by Justice, because Tem∣poral
Goods being given by the liberal Hand
of God to all Men; the strong ought to assist
the weak, the Sound the Sick, and the Rich
the Poor.
XIII.
You are oblig'd by Interest to give Alms, to
the end that you should obtain from God
those Graces that he hath placed in the Hands
of the Poor, and by this means you labour to
work out your Salvation, which is of∣tentimes
affixed to the Works of Mercy.
XIV.
He that is ready to have Mercy, is happy,
says the Wise Man; behold the Reason is,
that God judges the actions by the Principles
from whence they come; the bottom of the
Heart of him that gives is known to him, and
that is the Reason that small Alms given with
true Zeal, is more acceptable to him than great
given without Love.
XV.
The joy and chearfulness with which you
give, will augment the Value, and give them
a Merit whereof God alone is the Judge.
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XVI.
You may assure your self, you cannot be
good Men unless you give Alms, for it is essen∣tial
to Virtue; the more Piety you have, the
more you give to the Poor; the more you are
known by your Christian Practices, the more
you will distinguish your self by Alms.
XVII.
You give what you have to the Poor, that
you may receive what you have not; this Com∣merce
is equally profitable to both; without
the Alms that you give, you will die in im∣penitence;
without the Alms that are received,
the Poor would die in want; see how God
provides for all by his infinite goodness.
XVIII.
It is glorious for Persons of Quality to pre∣fer
the care of the Poor, before that of their
Greatness and their Pleasures. The more Pi∣ety
you have, the more you will reflect up∣on
what I have said; and the more you make
Reflexion upon it, the more will you profit
by it.
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CHAP. XXI.
Advice upon Sincerity in Words, and the
Way to know when we should speak, and
when we should be silent.
I.
MY Dear Children, so much as a Man by
his corrupted Nature loves disguise and
lying; so much when he acts by Grace and
Honour does he love Truth and Sincerity;
as Purity ought to raign in us in every
thing, so Truth ought to be Mistress not on∣ly
of our Hearts and Minds, but also of all
that appears in us, or comes from us; that is,
our Words ought always to agree with our
Thoughts and Actions, and there should be
nothing within us, that gives it self the Lye.
II.
Never speak against the Truth; but you
ought not always to speak it; you ought on
some oceasions, to keep it secret, as a thing
you are oblig'd not to reveal in such Cases;
you may conceal the Truth, and not speak
it, but in no case disguise and lye.
III.
Sincerity harh always been esteemed by all
the World; it hath always been regarded as
the part and Character of an Honest Man.
IV.
Pythagoras us'd to say, that the Gods had gi∣ven
two considerable Graces to Man, in giving
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him the power to be sincere, and to do good
Offices to his Friends.
V.
If we should be all heard to speak, there
is not one of us but would say we are sincere,
and desire others should be so with us, in
the mean time, there are few of us that are so
in effect; and those that are pass for impru∣dent,
and such as do not know how to live.
VI.
Of all that concerns sincerity, the Name
only is belov'd; to be sincere, to speak ac∣cording
to the World, is to say all that we
can think, and more; when we praise any
thing; but upon a thing that may be con∣demned,
we speak with prudence and cir∣cumspection.
VII.
A Man cannot too much praise a Man
whom he likes, and in this point one cannot
be too sincere; but when you blame him
never so little, and pass the bounds of since∣rity,
you grieve him, you offend him.
VIII.
If you follow the Practices of the Age, he
that has not Wit enough to appear sincere in
flattering you dextetously, will have no great
Credit with you nor esteem; you would nei∣ther
have Men sincere〈◊〉〈◊〉 Truth, nor Flatterers
in appearance. You would have Men sincere
according to the fashion, and as they are ordi∣narily,
in the practice of the Age; that is,
Men that are prudent and cautious in telling
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you of your Faults, but witty and dexterous
in speaking your Praises, which you think you
deserve; a Man of this temper, and sincere in
this manner, shall pass with you for a brave
Man, who knows perfectly well how to live,
and acquize Friends every day.
IX.
There is little sincerity to be learnt at Court,
it is the place of the World where they best
disguise what they think; every one has his
Designs, and if you trust them, you will be al∣most
always deceiv'd.
X.
Sincerity is always laudable, but it ought
always to be accompanied with prudence and
circumspection. You ought always to speak
sincerely, but you ought not always to speak.
If you will always keep and not lose your
Friends, nor the favour of great Men, nor have
difference with your Kindred and Acquaintance;
learn to be silent.
XI.
A prudent and discreet silence will be al∣ways
more to your advantage, than the most
witty and the best contriv'd sincerity; a Man
often repents that he has spoken, but never
that he has holden his Tongue.
XII.
What prudence and circumspection soever
you use in speaking, it is still speaking, and
great Lords and Men of the World will have
the Power of explaining your Words as they
please, and they seldom change their Mind
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in what they believe you have said to displease
them.
XIII.
Sincerity is sometimes as faulty as a ••y; that
is, when you use it unreasonably; when you
speak with sincerity upon things that you ought
to be silent in, you will offend them of whom
you speak, and you will give them cause to
accuse you of imprudence, incivility, and want
of Charity.
XIV.
Do not think it an Honour to be taken notice
of, for one that talks most in the Company,
but to the contrary, take pleasure in not speak∣ing
but when you ought, and what you ought.
Speak to make Conversation, but do not pre∣tend
to take from others the same liberty, and
to have an equal share in that innocent di∣vertisement.
XV.
Consider a great talker, as a Vessel always
full, that can hold no more, which is proper
for nothing but to be emptied; and though he
empty himself every moment, yet he seems still
to be full.
XVI.
There are some who have such an Itch of
talking always, that one may say they had need
of two Tongues as well as two Ears; and that
these sort of Persons give ear so little to what
others say; that one Ear would be sufficient
to hear what is spoken to them; and two
Tongues not too much to entertain the Com∣pany
in which he talks.
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XVII.
As it is said, that one speaks to the Eyes
of a Man when he Writes to him, so it may
be said, that a Man speaks to the Mouth of
one that has no Ears to hear others speak,
and whose Tongue seems to perform two
Functions at once, that of hearing and speak∣ing.
XVIII.
The Tongue ought to be the Servant of
Reason; do not suffer this Servant to run
through the Streets, and stop every Passenger;
keep her under, and let her not be employ'd
otherwise than in the Service of her Mistress;
in a word, do not permit her to appear to no
purpose, and against the Interest of her she be∣longs
to.
XIX.
Regard Speech as the Door of the House
where Reason Dwells; do not open this Door
but when occasion requires it; if you usually
do otherwise, you will shew that this House
is not well govern'd, and abandon'd to be
pillag'd.
XX.
If you know how to be silent, you will
deserve to be prais'd more than if you spoke
the finest things in the World, and the most
pleasing.
XXI.
It will always be in your Power to speak
what you have been silent in, but not to call
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back what you have spoken, and from thence
came the Proverb. That Men have taught us
to speak, but the Gods to be silent.
XXII.
A great talker tells all he knows, and all he
knows not; he is neither capable of Secrecy, nor
of Business; it is a Sive that can hold nothing;
it is a Torrent so rapid, that nothing can stop
it.
XXIII.
It is very seldom that a great talker hath
either discretion or good manners; that is
the reason why Nestor in the Tragedy of So∣phocles,
does not reproach Ajax for his much
talking, because he was a brave Man, so that
he excus'd his too many Words in favour of
his Actions.
XXIV.
A great Talker is like a Drunkard that falls
into excess, unbecoming and unworthy of a Man
of Quality; he discredits himself so, that tho
he speaks the most solid Truth, out of his
Mouth they will be taken for Lies or Trifles,
that are not worthy of attention.
XXV.
Reason ought to govern the Tongue, and all
its motions; so as a good Hand and a good Ear
makes an Instrument of Musick melodious and
agreeable.
XXVI.
To speak much, is not precisely to make a
long Discourse, for that is profitable and ne∣cessary,
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but it is to lose time, and to speak to no
purpose.
XXVII.
You will never talk too much when you talk
well, and always speak too much when you
speak ill.
XXVIII.
The Naturalists hold, that the Beasts teach
us to be silent, and say, that by instinct they
forbear to cry and make a noise on some oc∣casions,
for fear they should become a Prey to
those Beasts that they are afraid of.
XXIX.
Bias the Wise Graecian, being requested by
Amasis King of Aegypt, to send him the Best
and the Worst Member of the Beast, that he
should first Sacrifice; he sent him the Heart and
the Tongue; the Heart to shew him it was the
Principle of all good actions, and the Tongue as
the Fountain of all bad ones.
XXX.
You may be assur'd, a readiness and custom
of talking continually, is the beginning of Folly,
because the levity of the Tongue comes from
the levity of the Brain and Heart; and for that
Reason, you ought to be as reserv'd and mode∣rate
in your words as in your actions.
XXXI.
If you talk much, you will be like to Fron∣tier
Towns, that are not fortified; that are al∣ways
exposed to the insult of the Enemy; that
is the saying of a Wise Man, which you can
never too much think upon.
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CHAP. XXII.
Ʋpon Evil Speaking or Slandering.
I.
MY Dear Children, I cannot too much make
you abhor Evil Speaking; in my Opini∣on,
it is the most infamous of all Vices; it is
so much the moor to be feared, that whosoever
is subject to it, oftentimes gives a mortal blow
to a Man, that never knows the Hand that kill'd
him. And that I may give you a true Idea of
those that speak ill of others; I assure you,
they are Traytors, Cowards, and Murtherers.
II.
I call all those Evil Speakers that speak ill
of others, whether that be true what they say
or not; the Reason is, that both do equal
harm, and are equally received as true. In ef∣fect
the custom is, that Men do not suspend
their Judgment on these occasions, but per∣swade
themselves that common Report is war∣rant
enough for the Truth of the Matter, to
make them believe it, and do not think them∣selves
obliged to examin it.
III.
We shall never recover the Reputation that
we have lost by Evil Speaking, as we recover
our Health we have lost by our excess, or by
some other accident that has happen'd to us;
one depends upon our Constitution, our Tem∣per,
or our way of living; the other does not
depend upon our selves; we are in the Hands
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of the Publick, that never spares or favours
any one; and when they have received a pre∣judice
to any one they never quit the impressi∣ons
that are given them.
IV.
One thing of the World that you ought to stu∣dy
most is, that you take care to make the good
actions of others to be esteem'd, more than to
publish their bad ones. You should be very
unjust with exactness and severity to aggravate
what others have done ill by weakness or sur∣prize,
and bury in Oblivion, and never speak
of the good they have done with great zeal
and earnestness.
V.
Resolve firmly never to hear any one ill spo∣ken
of, but declare that your Ears shall always
be open to hear all that can be spoken good of
others, and always shut your Ears for any thing
that shall be spoken to their disadvantage; this
will procure you great quiet of Mind, and
hinder you from hearing a thousand things that
will disturb it.
VI.
We are almost all so unhappy by Nature,
that we are more touch'd with Ill than with
Good; if we hear of a dozen good actions,
they leave less Impressions upon us, than one bad
one that is told us; we might chuse one of
those dozen good actions that pleases us most,
to publish it; but this is what we never think
of; but we can never have Language enough
to publish one bad action to all the World. Let
us do our selves justice upon this way of pro∣ceeding;
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on one side it notes a great Corruption
in our Hearts and Minds, and on the other
side it denotes the little Respect and Charity
we have one for another.
VII.
Tell a Man of the World of an extraordinary
action that deserves to be taken notice of; he
has much ado to believe it, and requires Proofs
and Witnesses; and is perswaded that it would
be a weakness in him to believe such a Report
so easily; but let a malicious Man forge a
shameful and detestable action; he believes that
at the first moment it is told him; ask him the
reason of this difference, and he will answer you,
that the Good and Charitable Report a thou∣sand
good actions one of another, that they ne∣ver
once thought upon; will it not be equity like∣wise
to say, that many wicked actions are at∣tributed
to those that never had the Design or
Will to commit them; he is cautious and cir∣cumspect
in believing what is said of the one,
and finds no difficulty to believe the other, in
one of these he must be convinc'd, because it
is a good action; in the other he is at first mo∣ment
perswaded, because it is a bad one.
VIII.
Oftentimes a Man speaks ill of another, be∣cause
if he had been in his place, he would have
done that which he accuses him of; his own
weakness gives him an Idea of anothers; and
the Reproach of his own Conscience supports
his ill speaking of another; and that is all the
foundation he has for it. He is perswaded, that
he must have yielded to the Temptation; and
there needs no more to make him report that a∣nother
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could not resist it. Thus you see how
most things pass in the World, after what man∣ner
Men decree and decide the actions of o∣thers,
and upon what foot we make our selves
Arbitrators and Judges of them.
IX.
It is more cowardise in my Opinion to speak
ill of one to others, than to affront him; the
reason is, that he that speaks ill of another
assaults him when he is absent; there is none
to resist him. And this manner of acting, can∣not
be but by a Man of no Courage nor
Honour, who hazards nothing, but does all
with security. He that speaks affrontingly to
ones Face, he whispers not Secrets in the Ear
of another; he trusts it not to a Stranger upon
the Religion of an Oath; he attacks his Ene∣my
in his Face; he conceals nor disguises a∣ny
thing; and without Fear of his Anger, he
fights him with equal force; so that I can ea∣sily
conclude, that he that speaks injuriously to
ones Face, is the more transported, the other the
more dangerous; but the action of the one is
more excusable than the other.
X.
The Evil Speakers and Slanderers may be
fi••ly compared to Vultures and Ravens, who
never seek for Flowers and Fruits, but only for
Carrion, upon which they fall upon to feed.
The Slanderers do the same thing; they never
look out for good Actions; they are curious
for none but bad ones, and there they rest to
censure and aggravate them.
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XI.
They may be likewise compared to the Sea,
and this Comparison seems more equal and just
than the other. As the Sea buries in its bottom,
Gold and Silver and Precious Stones, and all
that is precious in the Ship that it swallows,
and throws up upon the Shore nothing but some
stinking Carcasses, and some worthless Relicks
of a miserable Shipwrack; so these Slande∣rers
hide the good qualities of those they would
destroy, and never speak of that which would be
praised; they continually expose their defaults
without ever making mention of their Virtues;
they suppress all their good actions, and pub∣lish
nothing but what has escaped them by sur∣prize,
weakness, or imprudence.
XII.
It is not enough, that you are not the Author
of Slanders, but you must not be one of the
Complices. I say it is not enough that you
did not invent them; but you must have a
care that you do not report them, and spread
them abroad.
XIII.
I do not know whether he that enters a Town
first to pillage it, does more wrong, or they
that follow and set all on Fire. It is the same
of the Slanderers. They that report and spread
them abroad, does at least as much injury to
those that are ill spoken of, as they that forged
and invented them.
XIV.
Your Conscience and Honour will always
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suggest to your Thoughts conformable to what
I have spoken to you, and do but a little con∣sult
them, and you will have a horrour for this
Vice, and will avoid the Company of those
that are subject to it.
CHAP. XXIII.
Advice about Expences, and the good ma∣nagement
of them.
I.
MY Dear Children make no greater Ex∣pences
than you are well able to bear,
nor more than you ought; govern your Ex∣pences
according to your Estate, your Employ∣ments,
and the rank you hold in the World;
do not desire to appear above what you are,
and do not impose upon the Publick, by desi∣ring
to pass for what you are not.
II.
If you make all your Expences in Cloaths,
in Horses, in Furniture, and on your Table;
this is not a good way to make your self con∣sider'd;
he that chuses rather to have good
Books than a Bed of Velvet, or rich Hangings;
a considerable Office than a great Equipage, is
the more judicious; the one sets his Heart up∣on
Trifles; the other has an Understanding
more solid, and judges of things accordingly.
III.
The Expences that are Profitable and Ho∣nourable,
and have happy Effects, are pre∣ferable
before those that please but for the mo∣ment
they are made in, and leave no other
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Fruit behind them but Repentance for the ma∣king
of them.
IV.
You ought to sow by handfuls, and not
turn the Sack; this Old Proverb expresses well
what I would say, since it makes us under∣stand,
that we ought to sow our ground, no••
to scatter it; we ought to rule our Expence and
not to make it excessive.
V.
To make too great Expences or too little, are
two vicious extremities that you ought to have
care to avoid; it's true, one is more easily to
be done than the other; but likewise it must be
confessed, that one Fault is better than the other;
a Man cannot lessen his Expences when all is
spent, but he may increase his Expences when
he has wherewithal to do it.
VI.
There is no Expence that we ought less to
grieve at, than that which is made out of grati∣tude,
every thing speaks in favour of this ex∣pence.
The Interest of him that makes it, and
the Interest of him for whom it is made are
equal in this occasion; the one deserves it, and
the other thinks he is oblig'd to do it, so that both
authorize it, and both justifie it.
VII.
I know a great many that make great Ex∣pences,
but I know few that make it as they
should do it, and when they should do it.
VIII.
Men do not grudge the Expence that makes a
great Show, and for which he is honoured, but
this is chargeable, and it is with Reason said,
that it is rather snatch'd than comes out of the
Purse. A Man grudges not ten Pistols spent to
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make him appear great, who grieves at one for
his particular use; be not you of this Humour
and Character.
IX.
A Man out of good Husbandry oftentimes
denies himself many things that he freely gives
to another; this is to pay dear for the respect
that others give him; this seems as if the Rich∣es
that is given us, was not given us for own
selves, but for those that have business with
us.
X.
Be not Covetous nor prodigal in your Ex∣pences;
govern them according to your Condi∣tion
and your Estate; it would be imprudence
and Vanity to spend higher than you are able;
and want of the heart to live, not to make
an Expence agreeable to your Birth and station,
that it hath pleased God to place you in; ob∣serve
a just middle between these two extreams,
and by that means you will merit the esteem of
all, and be taken for what you are.
XI.
When you make an Expence regular and a∣greeable
to your Condition, Men will have rea∣son
to say you are Wise, and know how to live
well; but when you make it too great, and that
it be taken notice of, you cannot help it if
Men of good Sense Censure and Condemn
you.
XII.
If you spend higher than you ought, you
will give Weapons to your Enemies to fight
with you; that is, you will give them Reason
to deny that you have right to make such Ex∣pences;
nay, they will go further, and will
enquire into your Family and Ancestors; and
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will, without Favour, Examin if you be of that
Quality and Descent, that can intitle you to
make such an Expence.
XIII.
Do justice to others as well as to your self;
do not exalt your self by your Expence, above
what you are; and endeavour to make your ad∣vancement
due to your Merit and Virtue.
XIV.
If you find your self to abound in Riches,
make a Law to your self to do nothing to
make a Show and a Noise, and your modera∣tion
in this case will be more for your Re∣putation,
than your extravagant spending
would be; by this means you will gain Friends,
and by the other make Enemies envious and
jealous.
CHAP. XXIV.
Advice upon the thoughts of Death.
I.
MY Dear Children, you will pass your life
without Trouble, if you be not afraid to
lose it; Death treading on our Heels continu∣ally,
and being almost always by our side, we
need not wonder, if they whose Consciences
accuse them do fear it; and if they have not
one moment of quiet, all other Objects pass a∣way,
but this stays with them and never quits
them.
II.
Do not seek for a Reason why so many die
without making their Wills, nor why they do
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not make them but at the last extremity? It
is because they cannot make it without speaking
of Death, which they fly and fear above all
things.
III.
There is no Person amongst us, to whom the
Life of Jared and Methusalem is not always
present; every one flatters himself with the
length of the Course they are to run; and con∣siders
himself always as if he had but just begun
it, and never as if he was going to end it.
IV.
Experience may well teach us, that more
then half of the World dies before Threescore,
and yet all run Counter to this Experience, and
look upon it as in Relation to others, and place
themselves in the number of those that must
have a pleasant and a happy Old Age.
V.
One dies in his Bed, as in the Field of Bat∣tel;
of a Fever, as with the Shot of a Musket,
and no Man is sure that he shall live longer than
another.
VI.
To the end that Death may not take from the
Goods that you possess, and all the Pleasures
you enjoy, deprive your self by little and little
of both the one and the other; and Death will
have little more to do when it can do no harm;
it will not come so soon for the most part, nor
when it cannot affright when it comes.
VII.
Death does not look hideous and terrible, but
when it is look'd upon as a Monster, an Ene∣my
to Nature; if you will often approach to
it in your Thoughts, and make it familiar to
you, you will afterward look upon it as a
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Friend that comes to assist you, and to carry
you from the miserable Condition you are in.
VIII.
Death is the Mistress of our Days, but not
of our Minds and Hearts; she can deprive us
of Life, but not against our Will, if we expect
it without Fear or Trouble.
IX.
Wherefore should you fear Death, since you
cannot grieve for Life after you have lost it,
because you are threatned with a Hundred sorts
of Deaths, must you fear them all; is it not
better quietly to expect one?
X.
If by fearing Death you could be assur'd to
avoid it; this Fear would be reasonable even in
the greatest Men; but being it cannot produce
this effect, it serves fo•• nothing but to make you
die a thousand times, though you can but die
once.
XI.
No Man is grieved that he did not live a hun∣dred
Years since; and why should any one
grieve that he should not live in Five Hundred
Years to come; you have no more right to the
future than you have to the past; you are be∣twixt
them both, hold your self in Peace, and
be content.
XII.
You will go out of the World as you came
into it, not knowing the Day; make good use
of this ignorance, this moment so terrible to
some is hid from you, perhaps for no other rea∣son,
but that you should think every Day the
last of your Life.
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XIII.
What matters it if you die Ten or Twelve
Years before it was expected; amongst an innu∣numerable
number of Men, can one know
that there are two or three fewer, or that Paris
is not so well peopl'd, or the State not so well
served.
XIV.
Life and Death are equally natural; you be∣gan
to live without Desire or Passion; and you
ought to die so. The World is a Theater on
which every one plays his part; it is for the
beauty of the Universe and his own Advan∣tage,
that every one acts his own in his time.
XV.
You ought to know how to die, whilst o∣thers
learn to live; there is only God that is E∣ternal;
your continual changes from nothing
to life, from health to sickness, and from Life
to Death, ought to give you a high Idea of the
grandeur of the infinitely perfect Being.
XVI.
It would surprize you if one of your Ser∣vants
should refuse to obey your Order in any
thing but what pleases him; it is equally won∣derful,
that God that has created us to live
and to die, and that we should obey him in
the one, and refuse it in the other.
XVII.
It is to cease to be a Man, to make himself
an Enemy to Death. Since you are born to die,
you are subject to Death as well as to Life, and
I can assure you are alive and dead at the same
time. You are alive, because you are not yet
dead; you are dead, because you were not a∣live
in Ages past, and you shall nor be alive in
those to come.
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XVIII.
If you make ill use of your Life, it is unpro∣fitable
to you, and when you lose it you lose
nothing, wherefore are you then afraid to lose
it; have not you more reason to hope it than
to fear it?
XIX.
You have been Heir to your Ancestors, is it
not reasonable that your Children should be
your Successors? your Life is limited to Fif∣teen
or Twenty Lustres, why should you de∣sire
to go beyond it? Have your Ancestors done
you the wrong to take your places, wherefore
would you fill the Places of your Descendants?
XX.
It is strange to fear an imperceptible moment
to the last breath we live; and so soon as we
are expired, it cannot be truly said that we
die, since we are no more. We do not find
this Death in one that is yet alive, nor do we
more find it in him who is nor more, because
he is past Death, and it has no more power of
him.
XXI.
A Dwarf is a Man as much as a Giant; and
he that lives but a short time is as much a Man
as Adam and Seth, who lived many Ages; the
great and the little in the Life of Man, is but
as one point in regard of Eternity; and the
World seems no more empty by his Death,
than the Sea appears dry by a drop of Water
taken from it.
XXII.
It would be terrible and frightful to us, if
Man could not die, since he would find his
Life a Fountain of inexhaustible Miseries.
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XXIII.
Thales the wise Graecian assures us, that it is
the same thing to live and to die; and one day
being asked why he did not die; he answer'd,
because if I should die, it would be asked why
I did not live?
XXIV.
I am not of that Philosophers Opinion; I do
acknowledge that Life is a Good that God has
given us to enjoy, and that Death is a punish∣ment
of sin, therefore I do not look upon them
as things indifferent; yet the difference that we
find between them, ought not to give us too
great a tie to the one, nor too great a fear for
the other. We are all Criminals, but we ought
not go cowardly to our Punishment; we
ought to be sorry that we have given cause for
our Condemnation, but we ought to suffer with
Submission, Courage, and Constancy.
XXV.
The first of our Days teaches us to live, but
the last does not teach us to die; learn this Les∣son
long before you make use of it, and the
sooner you do it the better.
XXVI.
In all Contracts of Marriage, there are Ar∣ticles
that concern the Death of both Husband
and Wife; and as soon as we make a strict
alliance with Reason, we ought to make Ar∣ticles
of Death between her and our selves;
this will make our Alliance more firm, more
Spiritual and more Christian.
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CHAP. XXV.
Ʋpon the same Subject.
I.
MY Dear Children, you ought to regard
this Life as a passage to another, which
never will have an end; this being so, you
ought not to set your Affections upon any thing
here below, seem it never so great and Charm∣ing.
You ought early to begin to die to Ho∣nour,
to Pleasure, and to your self.
II.
You ought to consider that your Salvation is
the greatest business you have to do, and you
cannot think too much of it, nor too soon.
III.
If you have nothing to reproach your self
with, you will be quiet and easie in your sickness.
One is not afraid of Death but when he has
lived ill.
IV.
Let it not trouble you when you think of
Death, but to the contrary, look upon it with
Pleasure, as an end of all your Miseries, and
as the beginning of a happy Life.
V.
When you see so many Persons of Quality,
think no more of Death than if they were ne∣ver
to die; that ought to engage you to enter
into your self, and to reason justly upon this
Practice; their insensibility ought to touch you,
and you ought to be perswaded, that the less
they think of Death, the more they ought to
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think of it; and the less they fear it, the more
they have reason to fear it.
VI.
Make use of the Blindness and Folly of others.
Pleasures pass away, Greatness vanishes, and
believe it, it is late, if not too late, to renounce
the amusements of the World, when you can
no more enjoy them.
VII.
Make Reflexion upon the difference that
there is betwixt a Worldly Man; that is, with
all the Pomp of this World; I mean one that
has loved them to the end of his Life; and a
good and pious Man, who has always labour'd
to bury himself, living in an humble, obscure,
and retir'd life; the one dies overwhelm'd un∣der
the weight of his Honours, Pleasures, and
Greatness; the other dies under the Weight of
his Mortifications, his Fasting and Humiliati∣ons.
They both die, but what difference in
their Death, in the Thoughts and Consequence
of one and the other; the World hath fought
against them both, but they have ended the
Battel in a different manner; the one is Con∣quer'd,
and hath submitted to the Laws of the
Conqueror, and the other hath triumphed over
him; so that it might be said, that the Death
of one is glorious, and may be envyed by those
who look upon it with the Eyes of Faith; and
the Death of the other ought to make those
that live such a Life, to tremble.
VIII.
But without considering so morally, why
should not you think often of Death, being that
Experience teaches, that you must die? every
step you make, leads towards your Grave; is
it possible that you can do this without Reflexi∣on?
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and that you can travel so long in the
Way, and not sometimes think of the end
that this way leads you to?
IX.
You live but to die, and always to think of
Life, and of all that may make it pass away
pleasantly, and never think of the time that
must put an end to it, is a thing very extraordi∣nary
for a Man of Sense.
X.
Our Sicknesses, our Wrinkles, our Gray Hairs,
our Years past that cannot come again; and
how little we can rely upon those that are to
come; are all of them eloquent Tongues that
teach us that we must die.
XI.
The different States of your Life are a look∣ing-glass
continually before your Eyes, shewing
your approaching Death, which already has laid
his Hands upon you. You have been Infants,
young, and Men grown up; all that is in or∣der
of Nature; but when you are Old, what
can you think or hope to become? Death with∣out
doubt will follow Old Age, which will
be the end of your Life, as Old Age has been
the end of your precedent Ages.
XII.
You will ask me what are the means to think
of Death, when one loves life so much? To
that I answer, there is one way which is easie;
that is, not to love Life so much.
XIII.
Why would not you think of Death, since it
will end your Necessities, your Weaknesses,
and your Miseries; it will finish a Voyage, at
the end of which you will find a happy E∣ternity.
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XIV.
If God, infinitely just, has Condemned Man
to Death, as a punishment due to his Sin; the
same God, infinitely good, has given Death to
the same Man, as a Soveraign Remedy to all
his Evils, and an infallible means to make him
for ever Happy.
XV.
The nature of Man was created as a Vessel
that ought to be fill'd with nothing but good
and precious Liquors; but the Devil, jealous
of his Happiness, having put the Poison of Sin
in this Vessel which corrupted it. God was
willing to repair that which the Devil had spoil∣ed;
and not being willing the Poison should so
possess our Nature, that it should always remain
infected; he breaks this Vessel in pieces by
Death, that the Poison might run out, and that
re-uniting these divided pieces at the general Re∣surrection,
this Nature might be mended, pu∣rified,
and become as wholly different from it
self.
XVI.
When you shall have quit the Care you had
for the Grandeur and Riches of this World, and
turned your Heart towards God; you will ea∣sily
surmount the rest, and not look upon Life
but with indifferency; your Treasure will be
in Heaven; you will never lose the sight of it,
and you will easily resolve to be soon with it,
to enjoy it to all Eternity.
XVII.
You have no need of Faith, or Rhetorick to
perswade you, that all must die; the Decree
of God which for so many Ages has been in∣differently
executed upon all Men, is an evident
demonstration of it; and if you find any so ex∣travagant
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as to doubt it; you need but to lead
them from Tomb to Tomb, and the innume∣rable
number of Bones that they may see there,
will convince them of the Truth of it.
XVIII.
Death has her Lessons and Responses, and
they are within us; let us ask her as long as
we please, the greatest and most sensible of all
her Lessons, the most precise and infallible of
all her Answers will be, that we must die.
XIX.
Since that all that we have within us, teach∣es
us, and speaks continually to us, that we must
die; will it be strange to make this necessity of
Death the Object of all your Thoughts and
your Reflexions?
XX.
Since that all that are about you, cannot tell
you the Day or Hour of your Death, will it be
strange if you make this uncertainty the Ob∣ject
of your Meditations; and that by a Spi∣ritual
watchfulness make a serious considera∣tion
of that which one Day must certainly ar∣rive,
and of what will become of you.
XXI.
That you must die, is an undoubted Truth;
you ought therefore to make all your Endea∣vours,
and employ all your Cares to die well.
It is the most natural consequence that you can
draw from this Truth; but to employ all your
cares without thinking of Death; and what good
will it do you to think of it, except you think of
it in such a manner, as the Thoughts of it will
be to your Profit and Advantage?
XXII.
Your Soul that will survive your Body,
does not that merit your care and pains? that
you should make it happy for ever? does it
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not deserve more your care and labour, than
the mass of Flesh which it animates? What have
you not done for this Mass? What cares have
you not taken to preserve it? in this point I
leave you to your own considerations.
CHAP. XXVI.
Advice upon the thoughts of Death.
I.
MY Dear Children, the great and infallible
means to die well, is to live well, and
the great secret and means to live well, is to
think often of Death.
II.
A good Death is nothing but the consequence
of a good Life; live well that you may die
well, and think often of dying, that you may
live well; so that a good Life and a good
Death reciprocally depend one upon another,
and they serve the one the other, as the means
to come to a good end; they give a Hand one
to the other, to lead a Man where he ought
to be.
III.
All the most great and charming things in the
World may be consider'd two ways, in rela∣tion
to their Beginning and their End; the be∣ginning
of Greatness, Honours, and Riches, is
God; but as soon as we consider them as coming
from God, what difference do we find betwixt
them and God from whom they come? when
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we consider this, they must needs appear despi∣cable.
These are like little Stars, that with
their small Lights dazle us, but disappear,
and fall by their own weakness into the pro∣found
darkness of Night. As soon as God, the
Sun of glory, infinitely bright, appears before
our Eyes in full splendour; such is the frailty
and misery of all in this World, be it never so
great, never so rich, when we consider it in
respect to its beginning, God.
IV.
Thy Misery and greatness appears yet great∣er
in respect of its end, since all Greatness and
Riches end with our Lives, and are buried
with us in our Graves.
V.
All the World runs headlong to Death, great
and small, Rich and Poor, Kings and Shep∣herds;
and the swift Revolutions of Age
draws after them Millions of Men. Our Fa∣thers
are dead, we shall likewise die; our Po∣sterity
shall pass away like us, and like them
that have gone before us.
VI.
Our Years rowl insensibly one after another,
and rowl without standing still one moment
till our Death. It is thither that every step
we make leads us; 'tis there we all go, like
several Rivers which throw themselves into the
Sea; the Day and Hour of your Death will ne∣ver
come to your Knowledge. Make your
advantage of this Advice that is given you from
the Mouth of Truth, and continually be watch∣ful.
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VII.
Never put off the consideration of Dying to
the Hour of your Death; that moment is not
proper to die well; you ought to make it
when you are in Health, and your Mind un∣disturbed.
VIII.
If you would be watchful and think of Death,
you should seriously examin the Life you lead, to
see if it agree with that which you would lead,
when you are at the point of Death; that is to
die to the World, and to all that you love in it,
before you die indeed.
IX.
If you be watchful and think of Death whilst
you are living, you will dye by a hearty and true
forsaking the World and its Pleasures; you will
love a retired life; you will be assiduous in Pray∣er;
you will mortifie your self as much as you
can; you will give liberally to the Poor; you
will exercise your self in good Works; and you
will fill your Mind with nothing but what may
encrease your Faith, your Hope, and your
Charity; it is in the practice of these things
without doubt, that the care and right thinking
of Death consists.
X.
Children are afraid of their Fathers when
they disguise themselves, because they do not
use to see them in that manner; take away the
Disguise you give to Death, and it will not
fright your any more. Death is represented con∣tinually
attended with a company of Physicians,
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with the Tears of a Wife and some Children
crying; it is imagin'd to enter into a Chamber
where the Sun is shut out, and lighted by
Torches; she is believ'd to walk sadly, and to
inspire Fears and sad Thoughts into all that
look upon her: Take but away from her what
does not belong to her, and what is given to
her without Reason, and you will easily be
more familiarly acquainted with her, and dis∣pose
your self to receive her as a Friend which
is welcome to you.
XI.
He that fears not Death, leads a life long,
pleasant, and happy; his life is like a Torch
well lighted, that is not put out suddenly, but
by little and little, 'till all be consumed; his life
is like the Fruits that are not pluckt off the
Trees 'till Nature has made them ripe and good,
and fall of themselves in Autumn, when they
are come to Maturity.
XII.
If you use your self often to think of Death,
you will die without Pain, as you have lived
without Trouble. You will look upon Death
with Eyes enlighten'd with Faith and Grace;
you will see her approach without Fear; you
will look upon her as the indispensible Law of
Nature; and you will submit to her without
repugnance: Nothing that usually frights on
the like occasion will trouble you; you will
end your Days with so great quiet of Mind, as
if you had quitted nothing that was dear to
you upon Earth, nor any thing that Reason and
Truth had made appear amiable. Your Death
will be so calm, that the greatest Men may de∣sire
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that theirs may be like it; and to speak
more justly, your Death will not seem a Death,
but a ready passage to a more long and happy
Life.
XIII.
It ought not to be said of a Man, that he
fears Death, when you would only say that he
thinks of Death often, and that he sees it com∣ing
fast on. In effect, one does look upon
things that he fears not as unhappiness, or dan∣gers
that he ought to avoid or fly.
XIV.
The fear of Death oftentimes takes from us
the pleasure of living; and the love of Life
oftentimes hinders us from Dying without Pain,
and so by false Ideas that we make to our
selves, both of the one and the other, we make
our Lives unpleasant, and our Death unquiet.
Make good use of this Advice, and regard both
the one and the other, with a sound and quick
Eye, and full of Faith.
XV.
I shall conclude this Article with the Opini∣on
of a Father of the Church, that says, that
it is not Death that is terrible, but the Opinion
that a Man has of it: And he adds, that to
die is not to be feared, but to live in conti∣nual
fear of Death is that which makes it ter∣rible;
this Fear is not caused but by the Cor∣ruption
of our Life, and is never found in a
good and Christian Life. We see by Experi∣ence,
that good Men live in great Peace and
tranquility of Mind, and so likewise die in the
same.
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CHAP. XXVII.
Advice upon Friends, and the concerns of
Friendship.
I.
MY Dear Children, there are so many good
Qualities required in a Man that one
would make his Friend, that it makes me won∣der,
when I hear that some Men have a great
many of them. If the number of them be
great, from thence may be concluded assuredly,
that they are false Friends; or that they only bear
the Name of Friends, but are not so indeed.
II.
Think your self happy if you have one true
Friend; it is a Treasure that you ought to
keep with care; you ought to esteem it Riches
enough to have found him, and possess him, and
never to think of finding another.
III.
The greatest part of Friends continue so not
long. You have found them at Play, at your
Recreations, at a Ball, in Walking, or at Visits
made to the same person. Leave Gaming, go
no more to a Ball, to a Comedy, or to the
Walks, and be not so assiduous in your Visits,
and then adieu Friends; you will lose them
with the same facility you have gain'd them.
IV.
When a Friend Treats us as we desire he
should, he does his Duty, but when he uses us
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not according to what we expect, then we are
displeased; but I do not know whether we are
more sensible of the one than of the other. I do
not know whether three Kindnesses that he has
done us, obliges us so much, as the hiding one
Secret from us discontents us; three Services
already done us are soon forgotten by the refu∣sing
us a trifle.
VII.
To keep a Secret committed to us by a
Friend is no great matter to boast of; the obli∣gation
to it is so strict and natural, that there
needs but a little Reason and Justice to oblige
us never to dispense with it; but it is a most
infamous action to reveal it; the confidence he
puts in us is the most essential mark of a sincere
and true Friendship; and likewise it is a most
unpardonable Treachery, to abuse that confi∣dence,
and by revealing it betray him that hath
trusted us.
VIII.
It happens often, that a Friend who has gi∣ven
us a Hundred Proofs of his Friendship, and
who has been for Ten or a Dozen Years a faith∣ful
keeper of our most important Secrets, quar∣rels
with us for a thing of no consequence;
for a jealousie, for a point of Honour; in a
word, for a Word that has escaped us; and
this discreet Man who never spoke a Secret,
upon a sudden becomes like the Servant in Ter∣rence,
who like a Vessel pierced; can hold no∣thing.
This Person becomes an Echo which
makes himself heard of all; after this, think
how much you may trust a Friend, and
publish to the World, what a Consolation it
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is to an honest Man, to have a faithful
Friend.
IX.
Friends ought to keep the same Silence, and
to have the same discretion which Confessors
have; the difference is, that the one acts al∣ways
naturally as Men; the other not purely
as Men, but as fortified by the Grace of the Sa∣crament
of their Order which they have receiv∣ed;
this is it that makes the first that they do
not forget what they should keep secret, but
that by imprudence or Revenge they some∣times
discover them; whereas the latter whe∣ther
they forget a Secret, or do not forget it,
the Grace by the Sacrament of Order, makes
them act as if they had forgot it, or as if they
had never known it.
X.
If you resolve and think it a great Pleasure to
have a Friend, be sure that you have but one.
As you have but one Confessor to commit the
secrets of your Conscience to; you also ought
to have no more than one Friend, to whom
you commit the secrets of your Business and
Temporal concerns. If you change your Con∣fessor,
you will find that the diversity of your
Confessors and Directors will beget an inequa∣lity
in the Conduct of your Life; so it cannot
be otherwise, but that the change of your Friend
will notably prejudice your Business, and your
concerns.
XI.
Of a Friend that you have, you will make
an Enemy if you break with him, without his
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giving any just occasion; so likewise you are
deceiv'd in your choice; but it is better to suf∣fer
a little from your own imprudence, than to
expose your self to the indiscretion and revenge
of one who thinks himself despis'd and injur'd.
Put on a good Countenance, and contain your
self as much as you can, and do not in one mo∣ment,
in the face of the World, give the
Lie to all that you have said and done in Ten
Years.
XII.
In a matter of Friendship, do not move fa∣ster
than he you intend to make your Friend;
he pleases you, he is of your Humour, and he
seems to have all the qualities necessary of a
good and prudent Friend, but perhaps he has not
the same respect for you; perhaps he has not
the same Opinion of you that you have of him.
Do not you still go forward, let him come part
of the way to meet you; do not presently
throw your self in his Bosom, you must know
him before you esteem him; and if you do not
esteem him you cannot love him.
XIII.
It is better you should be accused of indiffe∣rency
when you have no Friends at all, than of
inconstancy and ingratitude for quitting them.
In case you be reproach'd with indifferency, that
will procure you quiet of Mind, which will
not disturb you; but inconstancy and ingrati∣tude,
which you will be charged with, in case
you be given to change, will make you lose
your Reputation, and that once lost, you will
have no joy in your life.
descriptionPage 138
XIV.
We are all weak and subject to imperfecti∣ons,
and if you have not the indulgence to
pardon your Friends, and they the same to par∣don
you, your Friendship will last no longer
than it can serve both your Interests, and both
find your account; and when you break with
your Friends, your Tongue only will make
known what you had concealed a long time in
your Heart.
XV.
A Man that tells you he is your Friend, his
Word ought not to be taken, nor ought he to
take yours when you tell him the same; both the
one and the other ought to give Proofs of what
they say; nothing can give greater assurance
that two Men are Friends, than when experi∣ence
makes them mutually acknowledge it.
XVI.
Before you resolve to make a Friend of him
for whom you have an esteem; think of it a
long time, lest you should be mistaken. I should
not blame you, if you should think of it all the
days of your life.
XVII.
We are all so cunning in disguising our selves,
and our care and industry finds out such means
to appear what we are not, so that an Ac∣quaintance
of some Weeks or Months cannot ea∣sily
give a just and true Idea of what a Man is;
we suffer our selves to be prevented, an obli∣ging
word, any small favour done with a good
grace, oftentimes carries us too far, and
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most commonly we repent not 'till it be too
late.
XVIII.
Nature leads us into Society and Company,
but it is Reason that leads us to Friendship;
the esteem that we have for a Man of Merit,
makes us seek and desire his Acquaintance; and
if he do the same to us, the reciprocal Con∣sideration
begets a Conversation between us,
which at first, was but an outward Profession
of mutual kindness, which afterwards becomes
cordial and full of Affection, and that which is
called Friendship.
XIX.
Friendship and Love do differ much in this,
that Love is passionate and inconstant, carrying
things to extremity for some moments, and at
other times loses all its Force and Zeal; but
Friendship is always regular, constant, and e∣qual.
XX.
As soon as we possess what Love desires,
our Love grows less, and abates of its force
and ardour; and on the contrary, the Enjoy∣ments
of what we love by Friendship, makes
it augment, and gives it a new value and new
force.
XXI.
That which is ordinarily called Friendship,
ought rather to be called Acquaintance, which
is contracted by the like Employments, or
the like Diversions. Such Friends as these,
to speak truly of them, are such as see one
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another often, without ever having more sin∣cerity
for one another, more confidence, or
more openness of Heart.
XXII.
With your Friends go always with Bridle
in hand, that is to say, use great Prudence and
Caution with those whom the World, or
they themselves would make your Friends;
these manner of Friendships are never so well
linkt together, but that they may be easily
broken; therefore it is good that you take such
measures with them, as if you foresaw that there
would infallibly be a rupture.
XXIII.
You will find Men enough, who will call
themselves your Friends; it will be a pleasure
to some, and to others an Honour; but will
you find any that will be truly your Friends?
and in effect, can you find them espousing your
Interest as their own? and will they not upon
some accounts be upon the reserve with you?
you may have done them some Service upon
some occasions, and they may have done you
some upon others; these are no great Proofs
of Friendship; the Laws of civil Society,
does it not oblige us to do some good Offices
of this nature to all sorts of Persons? And
where is there an Honest Man that does not
take pleasure to do them, when Occasion
presents it self? especially when it costs him
little.
XXIV.
In Friendships that are thought the most
strict, and the most solid; every one uses to
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consider himself first, and in obliging his Friend,
he always sees his own Interest, be it Profit,
Pleasure, or Honour; he almost always finds
himself in the way to gain some of them to
himself, when he goes to do Service to others;
all that he does so for his Friends, he does for
himself; and he does but lend them that which
he flatters himself they will return to him
with Usury. Take just measures upon this,
and be not surpriz'd.
XXV.
If you ask me, in what consists the pleasure
of a true Friendship? I will answer, that it
consists in seeeing and entertaining one another
often, in giving reciprocal marks of Esteem and
Affection, and in agreeing in their Opinions
and Sentiments. I will tell you that I think,
that of all these Demonstrations of Friendship
which the Heart expresses by the Tongue, by
the Eyes, and by a Thousand other pleasing
Signs; there is form'd, as it were, a Furnace,
in the which the Souls that love thus, melt
themselves together, and become but one
Soul.
XXVI.
Far from this is the friendship of the World,
by which a Man is ashamed not to be debaucht
with a Friend that is so, and not to be quar∣relsome
and passionate with those that take pride
in being so; far from this Friendship that I
commend, is that which carries us to commit
a Crime, that we may be complaisant to our
Friends, and not anger them, by our too much
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discretion and modesty; far from this is the
Friendship of Libertines that is established in
the ruine of Virtue, and on a shameful and
Criminal Debauchery.
XXVII.
For my own part, I do not believe there
can be any true Friendship, but between those
that are united by Charity; they have the
same Aims, the same-Ends, the same Motives,
that is it which makes St. Augustin say, That
happy are they that love their Friend in God,
and their Enemies for the love of God.
FINIS.
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