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THE Rival Sisters: OR, The Violence of LOVE.
ACT the First.
For what? by Heav'n that Sigh unmans me!
Forbear, my Lord,—you know I have a Father.
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For what? by Heav'n that Sigh unmans me!
Forbear, my Lord,—you know I have a Father.
Not half the World shall win me.
I must avoid him.
I see which way he drives, and must prevent him.
Heav'n grant your Mind may always be the same.
It shall—but why that wish?—thou droop'st, Antonio.
I take you at your Word, and on my Knees—
Then you must kneel for ever.
Down swelling Heart and keep the Balance ev'n.
[aside going off.
[Exeunt Vilar. Atten.
Berinthia— Oh!—
And is indeed a Wonder!
Then blessed be the Pow'rs that brought me hither.
A Lover!
Wou'd he had never seen me.
Where will this end?
Thou art not marry'd?
No, indeed I am not.
Nor plighted Faith to any?
No by Heav'n.
This is a turn above my Expectation!
And thou canst love my Friend!
Let me be Wretched, so you be not Criminal.
Antonio and his Sister.
His Sister! are you sure that 'tis his Sister?
I am, Madam.
For Heav'ns sake, Madam—
O Death to all my Hopes! then he's in Love!
Well, what now?—if 'tis to discourse over the old story 'tis but breath thrown away—and you have but little of that to spare—and not much of any thing else.
How? how?—
A Lover of threescore!—Fy! 'tis as unnatural as the Ass in the Fable that fawn'd upon his Master, and thought he might take all the little Li∣berties of a Lap-Dog.
Or the great ones of a Monkey—To the Ladies, I hope, you'll grant an Ass is not altogether useless—Better Brutes have e'er now been forc'd to give place to 'em.
'Tis a great many years ago, however, since you were useful.
Dost thou treat als men with this Indifference?
No; but I wou'd, if they were all as thou art.
Why, what am I?
The shadow of a Lover., nothing else, though you talk so much of the substance. You may, I grant, please your own Imagination; but that will scarce reach far enough to satisfy a Mistress—In fine, you can only think Love, not act it, and so will be Damn'd for the Sin, without enjoying the Pleasure.
Certainly thou hast held thy Leg over a nettle this Morning—I defy e'er a young, noisy, fashionable Fool of 'em all to do you better Reason than my self.—Look here Child—observe this Caper—D'ye see?—meer strength of back! meer Chine!—I'd undertake, if thou wou'd but love me, to shake of twenty years with as much ease as a Courtier does his Promise, a Fanatick his Allegiance, or a Statesman his Religion; and come to thy Arms all warmth! all Love!—
And all wrapt up in Sear-Cloath like a Mummy—My Imagination sickens at it—Hear me Gerardo, for now I'm serious—if I thought any Be∣haviour
of mine encourag'd yon to this Impudent Application, I'd turn Nun to be reveng'd on my self: and there is but the Devil and thee I'd sooner avoid.
Nay, now you'are too severe, and in not seeing my Affection, are blind to your Interest.—I could every day have presented thee with some such pieces as these—
Ha! the right Colour! and I confess they look prevailingly—if he part with his money there is hope he may be drawn on a little further.
And have made thee outshine any Lady in Portugal for Bravery, Jew∣els, and all that—
And now I think on't I'll try him; if he will bite at Matri∣mony; I don't care if I angle for the Gudgeon.
But time is, time was, and agad time's—
Not past, I hope, Noble Sir.
But take these, however, in Earnest of what I wou'd have done, if you had us'd me better.
How? use you better than by a feign'd unkindness to be assur'd your pretences were real? as now, to my great Comfort, I am: If you think I had any other design, here, I'll refund.—I scorn to be oblig'd to one that doubts me.
Doubt thee? no, no—A Man need not doubt the Corrupting a Saint when twenty Broad pieces are his Bawd.
Then, upon consideration, I will accept of your love; but it must be upon Conditions.
Let 'em be what they will I agree to 'em: Tho' you shou'd put me to the same Drudgery my Lady Amble did her Porter, whom she us'd to call her Limbeck, fill'd him three times a day with Jelly and Cock-broath, which she still drew off in Spirits.
Then I enjoin you upon pain of my lasting displeasure to talk, think, and Dream of no other Female but my self.
Good.—no, hold, hold. How shall I do to bridle carnal Ap petite in sleep?—I'd know that now?
Nay if you don't like my Propositions—
I do, I do: proceed.
Then, lastly, you must not dare to mention that exploded thing call'd Marriage to me.—Now I shall try him.
Better and better, we were certainly cut out for one another. I never design'd it, Child, I never design'd it; that was premis'd when I gave thee my Money, with a Wife I wou'd have had some: and that may serve to shew how much I respect thee above one.
O, goes it so?—then I know how to use you.
And upon the Performance of all this I shall embrace—
Your own Desires—but nothing else by Heav'n, for me.
But hark, my, Lord Sebastian's
Return'd from Hunting. I must be gone.
A Kiss at parting.
Nay, then don't force it.
Gad but I must, 'tis not to be had else I find.
O Garlick, Goats and Monkeys.
some marry'd Man, perhaps, may think me a Coxcomb for parting with my Money so easily: but if his Wive's separate Coach, Gaming, Servants, Nurses and Pin-Money▪ were seriously consider'd at the Years end;
VVHAT sport, my Lord?
The best w'ave had this Season.
Still on this Subject?
I am of Opinion, Gentlemen, y'are both wide—to love 'em too well makes 'em proud, and too little Peevish: a man must walk between you, if he intends to come between any thing else.
One that says Love has sent him with a Hue and Cry after his Mi∣stress. As y'are at present enclin'd I thought him very fit Company for you.—I never see half a dozen Lovers together but I think it a great chance if six of 'em are not Madmen.
Here, here, here.——This to the East, this
to the West, this to the North, and this to the South—let 'em be sent from Tything to Tything with all Possible haste. She's describ'd to the life—Of a Moderate height, aged about Sixteen, soft as an Angel, trea∣cherous as a Devil!—away with 'em.—I'll Stay here till you bring news of her. In the mean time, Boy, Sing the Song Amintor made, who us'd to say his Mistresses Vows were like Ropes of sand, onely more apt to break in the Twisting.
Vilander, your disease.
No.
I have a Receit how the first was made, saw the Ingredients mixt that make up the Curs'd Composition. Honey, Balm and Cassia; Hemlock, Worm∣wood and Opium, and ten thousand other such Inconsistent Drugs are con∣fus'dly shuffl'd together: So that your Sweets are dash'd with Gall, your Smiles with Frowns, and your Hopes with Despair. Like the Camelion it varies all Colours, like Proteus all shapes, Like Madness all Humors, and like Interest all Religions.
His dress is onely mad and not his Language.
Well, what now?
'Tis so long since I fancy you'd not know her.
Then this is she, and she is yours for ever.
O charming Voice! here let me breath my Raptures!
What shou'd we see?
Can you hear this and—
Hold, and learn your Duty.
My Duty's—
To be silent when I bid you.
What can this mean? he does not know her sure.
But an Inconstant Woman—ha! ha! ha!—here, take this Eel in this Hand, and this Woman in this hand—hold hard, gripe close, closer yet—so—now open—ha! ha! ha!—the Eel re∣mains, the slipp'ry Woman's gone.
Excellent! They are not in their Senses that say thou'rt out of thine.
Y'are thoughtful, Love.
Those thoughts are then of you.
That charge, my Lord, be mine.
Antonio!
Ha!
Ha! why those Precious Tears?
I ever thought her Violent and Rash.
Can you forget me then?
O never! never!
Why then d'ye bid me leave you?
Hold! O hold!—
I wou'd not have him.
What mean you, Madam?
Consider, Madam, that one Mother bore you.
But Conscience, Madam.
Think of the Danger then.
D'ye doubt me Madam?
Dear soft Tempter well met.—Ha! What? not a word? Me∣lancholy? if the perpetual Clack of thy Tongue has left moving y'are in an ill case I can tell you that now.
And if you provoke that Clack to move you are in a worse case, I can tell you that too.
And that I shall do, Child, I shall provoke thee, my Desires stand a tip toe, and—
I shall humble 'em, by Heav'n I shall.
Yes, yes, they that raise the Devil may lay him again, that's Certain.
Nay, if thou art turn'd Preacher 'tis time for the wicked to reform. I ha' done, I ha' done.
Womankind.
Swine! Monkey! Toad!
She is in earnest I find—and with very little pains has made an Ass of me: done like a Woman—triok't me of my money—like a Woman still—brok•• ••er Promise—more of the Woman. Baulk'd a good opportu∣nity—ga〈…〉〈…〉 ••hat was not like a Woman at all. Well, this is my Comfort, I have made 〈◊〉〈◊〉 once in vain, and many a Coxcomb does it all his Life time.—Ha! who comes yonder? the very young Dog that makes me
What mean you, good Gerardo?
'Tis no matter what I mean—neither, indeed, has fighting any great store of meaning in't.—Draw, Sir.
You'll let me first know why.
That were to break a Custom, 'tis never done now adays—A Man is now whipt through the Lungs before he knows any thing of a Quar∣rel. Come, come, draw, or I shall give you your Dispatch, Sir.
The Dotard makes me angry—Well, what now, Sir?
Nay that's all—now you may put up agen if you please: (the Rogue has mettle I find). But I shall take the Liberty to tell you y'are sawcy for at∣tempting, her Love that has mine, Sir.
O sits the Wind there?
One that deserves—
More than you can give her however.
How now Sawce-Box? how d'ye know that? did I ever make love to you that thus you pretend to be a Judge of Abilities?—In short she's meat for your Masters.
Well, granting that, I hope 'twill be no dishonour to you to have a Taster.
Smart and home Faith—and if to have Tasters in that sense could make us of the Blood-Royal, gad I believe most men wou'd be Princes.
Hear me, Pluto.
What, does he take me for the Devil?
Ay, and for the Master Devil too.
Hum—there's some civility even in that, tho'.
You shall have it.
Why, who art thou?
The same you take him for—or, at least, a very good Servant of his.
Hold, hold.—if I am the Devil the Devil take me.
Ha! ha! ha!—there's some civility even in this too.
As much as in your laughing—Death! he did not consider that, like an old watch, I have been twenty times new set together.
Ay, always mending and still growing worse and worse—but come, we'll see him again when he's in better Temper.—I begin to suspect—but I'll watch him narrowly.
It was an Error, but'tis now beyond my Power to redress,—Where hast thou brought me?
The Song, Boy.
Will Inconstancy make her live e'er the longer? or 〈◊〉〈◊〉 sweeter relish to her Pleasures? Can it keep her freer from the 〈◊〉〈◊〉 future punishment? or lull her Conscience into a softer security than Peace? Ha! Boy.
Prithee, no more, thou and a guilty Conscience will distract me—come, away.
What was it first occasion'd your misfortune?
I tremble! O what Wretch wou'd e'er be wicked?
Go on.
Ingrateful Woman—pray what is her Name?
What's here to do?—ha! frenzy and folly in conjunction—O sweet Women! worth and honour make their application in vain: but Fools and Madmen may plead their merit to your favour.
Where am I now?
In your Alonzo's arms.
This recompence you make has cancel'd all.
One might safely swear, if there were distinction of Sexes in the Stars, there are not two Females in the whole Firmament.
Ay, now 'tis as it shou'd be.
No, not just as you wou'd have it neither; tho', in truth, 'tis something near it.—I'll be gone, for fear of the worst.
No.
And I obey.
That I expect?
Confusion! Death, and Hell!
You will not.
Bravely resolv'd.
And I'll as bravely do it.
You will?
I will.
Shall find it?
Ay, is not that Language plain?
'Tis wond'rous well, ye Gods, 'tis wond'rous well!
Ill become me?
Dare not to speak?
No, dare not for thy Soul!
Ha! ha! ha! ha!
D'ye laugh, Minx?
What, Madam, are you cool again?
I am.
Have you said all?
What if I have, or have not?
I wou'd have beg'd your leave to've made my Answer.
You'll take it, I suppose.
LET me think a little—If I succeed in this Business my Life may answer it; if I miscarry I'm discarded:
Gad! here she is, and the Devil has got such an ascendant over me, that I must attempt her again: Lewdness, like an old Beggar, takes no denial, but gets more by importunity, than Modesty can by merit.—In contemplation? I'll observe her.
Hum—my Amour goes on very luckily.
So—
Nay then, agad, 'tis all serious, and I'll shew my self.
Ah—
You have confest, my dear, and you shall have an easi Absolution.
Betray'd! undone! I'll blush my self to death!
The Wind's chop'd about of a sudden, and sits fair for a Voy∣age to the Island of Love—
But, Child, to be in earnest, you must needs think Diego the more agree∣able Person; were I a Virgin I shou'd let him—
Hang himself.
Ha! ha! ha!
I love thee the better for hating that Prig. To day I took thee in the pur∣ging of thy Gall; now thou art all luscious, and season'd to the Pallat of an Epicure—There only wants the dishing up, and then—
You'd fall on without saying Grace, I warrant.
Ay, what else? I shou'd be a Madman in such a case, to make use of a Chaplain:—But, come, now thou'rt in a good humour, I'll give thee my Favourite Song.
Oh! Oh!—
Ha! what's the matter?
Ah Rogue!—the best Surfeit-Water in the Kingdom: a drara has brought several to life, I'll assure you—you'll find in a short time how powerfully 'twill quicken.
Away, I'll follow: 'tis not fit we should be seen together.
Don't go the Gallery way, but come thro' my Chamber.
For what?
For what? O Lord! O Lord! what shou'd we do at my Chamber, but—come you shall guess what now, you shall guess, Child.
Nay, if I trouble you, I can have some of my Lady.
She's in need enough her self; you see she's running mad for't—Well, I'll go open the Gallery door, for what? ha! ha!
I have rais'd his expectation, but on purpose indeed to deceive it; if I keep him keen, perhaps he may cut thro' his discretion to Mar∣riage. Heav'n! what Monsters are we forc'd to embrace for convenience? His Closet's a perfect Apothecary's Shop, furnish'd with all sorts of Drugs, and his Conduct indeed has made it but necessary—He, perhaps, gives the Disease to his House-keeper; she stoops as low as to the Horses heels, and transmits it to the Groom; he conveys it from the Stable to the Lan∣dry, and from thence it goes back with the clean Linnen to their Master. So that the Pox in his Family, like the blood in his Veins, is in a perpe∣tual Circnlation.
I will, my Lord.
To Night?
Is't that you call'd me back for?
Stay a little.
What means all this? pray Heav'n I'm not discover'd!
So—I'm well enough serv'd.—If e're I endeavour again to keep Fool and Strumpet from Coupling, may I marry a Punk, live a Pimp, and die of the Pox; a Lineal succession, Madam.
D'ye here Vilander?
My Lord, where are you going!
O Heav'n and Earth, my Lord, you are not going!
Going! why?
Will you not come to Bed?
Incest, my Lord! you dream.
I wish I did.
Curst us both eternally!
My Lord!
If what I tell you's false—
The Heav'nly Powers forbid.
I've sworn! I've sworn!—Away audacious Woman!
Could not thy Diligence prevent this ruine?
O! no, my Lord; I heard of it too late—
O, Madam!—
Then take the worst at once, your Sister's gone.
O, Madam! I confess, Diego—
Murder—Oh!—
Have a care what you say.
Strange Accident!—Haste, call Alphanta hither.
Her Husband, says she?
What Prize d'ye mean?
My Sister.
He cou'd not be so base!
'Tis too sure.
How? not at her Apartment?
What is he mad?
No, my Lord, he's just come to his Senses.
I'll take such Measures as shall not displease you.
Where? where are these Thieves? these Murderers?—'Gad I believe a man may be as safe in their Company as any where else.—D'ye hear what a Rattle there is above Stairs?
How? dead! Murder!—hum—'tis no ill sort of Disap∣pointment tho'—every thing consider'd, I know not well whether 'tis most proper to be merry, or sad.
What? is the death of a Mistress no more?—I find he that has no Religion, has but little Humanity.
Why saith, Vilander, most unmercifully this Night she intended to have hamper'd me for Life—How she might have prov'd is uncertain. Now there's no Fau't to be found.
How? intended to have marry'd you?
Ay, the Priest, the Leech monger is waiting in my Chamber: I left him crossing himself as if his Conscience had been troubl'd with the rising of the Lights, or thrown up his Sins of Plurality, Simony, Hipocrisie and Pride, for want of taking a Dram of Atheism for Digestion.
What wou'dst thou think of that Man that had the Itch thirty Years ago, and shou'd now desire to be scratch't for it? Thy thoughts of a Wife at this time of Day is equally ridiculous.
Very sine Doctrine,—is Marriage unlawful then?
Ay, no doubt, when the end of it is perverted: What canst thou propagate but Diseases? I wonder what Argument prevail'd on thee to think of ent'ring into Wedlock.
Why he that has his Hell here may the better hope to be excus'd hereafter.
How will it fare with you, then, who are pleas'd; y'are without that Excuse?
Agad let what will come, I'm glad 'tis as 'tis.—What Mar∣riage is we have wofull Experience: What t'other Hell is we have none: And why shou'd another Man's Fears of an imaginary Limbo make me run into one that is real?
Cautiously consider'd truly. And whither d'ye think Fornication will carry you?
Hum—Fornication—take up the Body. I'm resolv'd I'll be at the Charge of a Monument for her, and have an Epitaph engrav'd on't that shall preserve her Memory to Posterity, and stand Candidate for the Eight Wonder of the World.
And pray what must that be?
That's the wonder, Sir, her living a Maid so long.—But come, bring her away, bring her away.
Nor ought you to despair.
He shall shew him the way.
I shall resign?
Then y'are resolv'd to stay?
And you'll protect her?
This place is private, and will be convenient. Get rid of her, I'll instantly return.
No; but—
To ruine her that loves you.
O no! 'tis to protect and guard you from it.
And how can you protect me when y'are gone?
What, for an Hour?
A Minute is too long.
Hear me—
But are you sure she's there?
Then hear that Sound repeated—Whor'd her Sister.
'Tis thy amasing Insolence protects thee.
But you think Cowardice a safer Refuge.
Why dost thou strive to pull thy Murder on me?
You speak in Clouds, I do not understand you▪
What of her?
You told a Lye.
You durst not.
Damn her, Strumpet.
My Sister! sure some bloody Planet rules!
D'ye hear, Sebastian?
If thou hast any Bowels call for help!
I will not long be from you!
Ha!—what Turn is this?
What has she done?
Hold! hold his hand!