The holy state by Thomas Fuller ...

CHAP. 3. The good Husband.

HAving formerly described a good Wife, she will make a good Husband, whose character we are now to present.

* 1.1His love to his wife weakeneth not his ruling her, and his ru∣ling lesseneth not his loving her. Wherefore he avoideth all fondnesse, (a sick love, to be praised in none, and par∣doned onely in the newly married) whereby more have wilfully betrayed their command, then ever lost it by their wives rebellion. Methinks the he-viper is right enough served, which (as * 1.2 Pliny reports) puts his head into the she-vipers mouth, and she bites it off. And what wonder is it if women take the rule to themselves, which their uxorious husbands first sur∣render unto them?

* 1.3He is constant to his wife, and confident of her. And sure where jealousie is the Jailour, many break the prison, it opening more wayes to wickednesse then it stop∣peth; so that where it findeth one, it maketh ten dis∣honest.

* 1.4He alloweth her meet maintenance, but measures it by his own estate: nor will he give lesse, nor can she ask more. Which allowance, if shorter then her deserts and his desire, he lengtheneth it out with his courteous carri∣age unto her; chiefly in her sicknesse, then not so much word-pitying her, as providing necessaries for her.

* 1.5That she may not intrench on his prerogative, he maintains her propriety in feminine affairs: yea, therein he follows her advice: For the soul of a man is planted so high, that he overshoots such low matter as lie levell to a womans eye, and therefore her counsell therein may better hit the mark. Causes that are properly of feminine cog∣nizance he suffers her finally to decide, not so much as

permitting an appeal to himself, that their jurisdicti∣ons may not interfere. He will not countenance a stubborn servant against her, but in her maintains his own Authority. Such husbands as bait the mistris with her maids, and clap their hands at the sport, will have cause to wring them afterwards.

Knowing she is the weaker vessell he bears with her infir∣mities.* 1.6 All hard using of her he detests, desiring therein to do not what may be lawfull, but fitting. And grant her to be of a servile nature, such as may be bettered by beating; yet he remembers he hath enfranchised her by marrying her. On her wedding-day she was like S. Paul free born, and priviledged from any ser∣vile punishment.

He is carefull that the wounds betwixt them take not ayre,* 1.7 and be publickly known. Jarres conceald are half recon∣ciled; which if generally known, 'tis a double task to stop the breach at home, and mens mouths abroad. To this end he never publickly reproves her. An open reproof puts her to do penance before all that are pre∣sent, after which many rather study revenge then refor∣mation.

He keeps her in the wholsome ignorance of unnecessary se∣crets.* 1.8 They will not be starved with the ignorance, who perchance may surfet with the knowledge of weighty Counsels, too heavy for the weaker sex to bear. He knows little, who will tell his wife all he knows.

He beats not his wife after his death.* 1.9 One having a shrewd wife, yet loth to use her hardly in his life time, awed her with telling her that he would beat her when he was dead, meaning that he would leave her no maintenance. This humour is unworthy a worthy man, who will endeavour to provide her a competent estate: yet he that impoverisheth his children to enrich his widow, destroyes a quick hedge to make a dead one.

Notes

• * 1.1

  Maxime 1
• * 1.2

  Plin. Nat. hist. lib. 10. cap. 62.
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