The holy state by Thomas Fuller ...

CHAP. 13. The common Barreter.

A Barreter is an horseleach that onely sucks the corrupted bloud of the Law. He trades onely in tricks and quirks: His highway is in by-paths, and he loveth a cavill better then an argument, an evasion then an answer. There be two kinds of them: either such as fight themselves, or are trumpeters in a battel to set on others. The former is a profest dueller in the Law that will challenge any, and in all suite-combats be either principall or second.

* 1.1References & compositions he hates as bad as an hangman hates a pardon. Had he been a Scholar, he would have main∣tained all paradoxes; if a Chirurgion, he would never have cured a wound but alwayes kept it raw; if a Souldier, he would have been excellent at a siege, no∣thing but ejectio firma would out him.

* 1.2He is half starv'd in the lent of a long vacation for want of

imployment; save onely that then he brews work to broach in Term-time. I find one so much delighted in Law-sport, that when * 1.3 Lewis the King of France offered to ease him of a number of suits, he earnestly besought his Highnesse to leave him some twenty or thirty behind, wherewith he might merrily passe away the time.

He hath this property of an honest man,* 1.4 that his word is as good as his band; for he will pick the lock of the strong∣est conveiance, or creep out at the lattice of a word. Wherefore he counts to enter common with others as good as his own severall; for he will so vex his partners, that they had rather forgoe their right, then undergoe a suit with him. As for the trumpeter Barre∣tour,

He falls in with all his neighbours that fall out,* 1.5 and spurres them on to go to law. A Gentleman, who in a duell was rather scratcht then wounded, sent for a Chirurgion, who having opened the wound, charged his man with all speed to fetch such a salve from such a place in his study. Why (said the Gentleman) is the hurt so dangerous? Oh yes (answered the Chirurgion) if he re∣turns not in post-hast the wound will cure it self, and so I shall lose my fee. Thus the Barretour posts to the houses of his neighbours, lest the sparks of their small discords should go out before he brings them fuell, and so he be broken by their making up. Surely he loves not to have the bells rung in a peal, but he likes it rather when they are jangled backward, himself having kindled the fire of dissension amongst his neighbours.

He lives till his clothes have as many rents as himself hath made dissensions.* 1.6 I wonder any should be of this trade, when none ever thrived on't, paying dear rates for their counsells: for bringing many crack'd titles, they are fain to fill up their gaping chinks with the more gold.

But I have done with this wrangling companion, half afraid to meddle with him any longer lest

he should commence a suit against me for describing him.

The Reader may easily perceive how this Book of the Profane State would swell to a great proportion, should we therein character all the kinds of vicious persons which stand in opposition to those which are good. But this pains may well be spared, seeing that rectum est index sui & obliqui; and the lustre of the good formerly described will sufficiently discover the enor∣mity of those which are otherwise. We will therefore instance in three principall offenders, and so con∣clude.

Notes

• * 1.1

  Maxime 1
• * 1.2

  2
• * 1.3

  Stephens Apol. for He∣rodotus.
• * 1.4

  3
• * 1.5

  4
• * 1.6

  5