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Dec. 10. I had about a month before made, though not a formal explicit vow, yet a kind of mental implicit vow, which I broke, and being under the sense of guilt, was revived by read∣ing a passage concerning David in Mr. Harris his works. p. 490.
Who would ever have thought, that so many afflictions as David had Suffered, so many mercies as he had received, so many vows as he had made, so many pieces of Holy
Scripture as he had proved, &c. should not have made him an whole man? Who would have dreamed that after all this so many dregs of adultery, of treachery, of murder, should have been left remaining in him, Yet when David remitted his watch over his own heart, how foully did he fall?
I was also much comforted against the sense of my sin from, Isa. 54. 9. This is as the wa∣ters of Noah unto me; for as I have sworn that the waters of Noah should no more go over the earth, So have I sworn that I would not be wroth with thee, nor rebuke thee. I looked upon my self as entitled to this promise by ver∣tue of what is said v. 17. This is the heritage of the Servants of the Lord. I considered fur∣ther that the Covenant which God made with Noah, and was confirmed with an Oath, was made with a Non obstante multiplici peccato hominis, with a promise it should stand valid notwithstanding the imaginations of the heart of man are evil from his youth, Gen. 8. 21. I considered further that notwithstanding the Covenant with Noah, there might be immoderate rains which might prove a great affliction, though there should not be a Uni∣versal deluge. So notwithstanding this Oath of God, and his Covenant with me I might meet with temporary afflictions, but I should by vertue of the Covenant be delivered from eternal wrath. Blessed be God, This Scrip∣ture did much revive and comfort my Soul.
Notwithstanding all this goodness of God I found my heart still manifesting its in-bred corruption, and I was foiled again by my sin, which did much cast me down, and being to draw nigh to God at the Lords Table, I was much discouraged; but before the Sabbath came I was in Prayer revived with Isa. 53. 5, 6. and in conference by Mat. 11. 28. I found I was in a labouring condition, and such Christ invited, and also from Psal. 65. 3, 4. David when he found iniquity pre∣vailing, did yet conclude that upon his ap∣proaching to God in his Ordinances, he should be satisfied.
In reading Luke 8. 27. 30. I was encou∣raged to hope that the Lord Jesus would dis∣posses, and cast out my sins out of my Soul, though they were many and had possessed me a long time. For it is as easie for Christ to cast a sin, as to cast a Devil out.