A treatise of the sports of wit

Of their ordering their Sports, and how they past their time.

FOr preparation to them some one, by lot, or otherwise, was chosen, for president, whose Office was to give out the Subject or Argument of the following Sport, and to distri∣bute the parts for the next Assembly; that so be∣twixt premeditated and ex tempore, they might not come unto them wholly unprepared, but have the following night, and part of the follow∣ing day, for their preparation. For the rest of the day, the time was thus distributed.

Having finished their Morning Devotions, they went to dinner, and, having dined, each one re∣tired to their several Cabinets, till towards Eve∣ning, when either they rode abroad in their Coaches, to take the Air (which Promenade never ended without some Banquet or Collation) or walked out into the Garden, or adjoyning Woo••, which seemed an Academy of Nightingales, is the Garden a Treasury of all Flora's choicest and rarest Flowers; when gather but one, and seven more sprang up in its place; whether it were th•• Nature of the Soil, or Vertue of the Hand wh•••••• gathered it, Heaven having so disposed this pl••••∣sant

and delightful place, should never fall but into the fairest and vertuousest hands of the Universe, (it being a part of the Apinage or Inhe∣ritance of Madamoiselle de Beauvais.) From thence they went to Supper, and having supp'd, retired into a large Appartement, illuminated by six fair Christal Branches, and bordered about with Sil∣ver Sconzaes, in which were inchac'd Concave Mirrors of Oval Form for better reflection of the Light. When the Dutchess, seated in her Fautvil, under a Canopy, upon an half pace higher than the rest, with the Princesses, Her Daughter and Sister, under Taborets, on either side of Her; the sports began as followeth:

The First Nights Sport

Of ORACLES.

THis sport 〈◊〉〈◊〉, when one amongst the rest stands for Oracle, and others in order ask Questions of it (the Dutchess first, and the rest following) which the Oracle answers briefly in the Laconick stile: As for example.

Quest. How should one do to be beloved?

Answ. Love.

Quest. Who is the fairest Lady?

Answ. Every one's Mistress.

And these Questions are easily answered, but the Oracle sometimes is hard put to't, when they ask it any captious & insiduous ones, as was his, who asked the Oracle, whither what he had in his hand were alive, or no; to which it answered, As you please, he grasping a little Sparrow in his hand, meaning if the Oracle said it was dead, to produce it alive, if a∣live, to crush it, and produce it dead: Which am∣biguous answers and words of double sence, in such expedience, required great wit and dexterity in the Oracle; and at this our Oracle (Madamoiseille de Beauvais) was excellent.

The Second Nights Sport

Of DREAMS.

THe sport of this is, when every one tells their Dreams, and some one Interprets them, who is not only to know the General Notions, (as how to dream of Pearl, signifies Tears, and Gold, Ill luck, &c.) But perfectly to understand the Art of Divi∣nation, and to have well read Artemedorus and Apamasar. Such as he, to whom a Lady coming once in great anxiety for her Lord, who was then actually in the Wars, saying, She dreamed the General was wounded in his right hand; he answered, The ill presage of that dream nothing concerned her Lord, who had a command of Horse; for the right hand of a General was his Foot, and the left his Horse, and the event proved this prediction true; for shortly after the news was brought (against the ex∣pectation of all) that Don Francisco de Melo had lost the Battle of Rocroy, most of his Infantry re∣maining, either slain or taken prisoners, whilst all the Cavalry escaped by flight. This made the Dutchess think him fittest to be president of that nights sport, which (though far more difficult then that of the Ora∣cle) he performed to the general satisfaction of all; where note, they may shew as much wit, who ingenu∣ously feign a Dream, as he who interprets it.

The third Nights Sport

Of LOTTERIES.

ALL the Wit and Art of this Sport, is so to con∣trive the Lots in the Urn, as best may fit the qualities of every one. As to the Dutchess all Happiness and Felicity; to the Princess, nothing but Crowns and Scepters (then proposed as a match for Crowned∣heads) and to Madamoseille De Beauvais, her choice of Princely-Husbands, married not long after to the Marquess of Varanbon; who dying without Heirs, left Her Inheritrix of his Marquisate, and since marri∣ed to the Noble Prince of Aremberge: Nor were the rest of the Ladies less fitted with their Lots, the Con∣triver of the Lottery to please them, hazarding the reputation of a Lyer twenty times, for that of a Pro∣phet once: But all the Sport was to hear the inferior servants handsomely rallied for pastime of the Ladies. For example, Two waiting Women. (amongst the rest one who would needs lead Apes to Hell, and another, who would not go to Heaven without a Husband.) The Dutchess prohibiting all picquant Rallery, which, if any offered, she declared a dislike of it in a blush, a greater reprehension, then could be expressed by words, to those who understand the Language of the Face.

The Fourth Nights Sport

Of WONDERS.

THe Sport of this is, when every one tells what they most wonder at, or the greatest wonder they have seen; not such as Lying Travellers report, or such as they father upon our Countrey-Man Sir John Man∣devile; muchless such foul-mouthed, slanderous ones, as his, who said, The greatest wonder he had seen, was, a Woman honest when she was young, and handsome when she was old; but such witty ingenuous ones, as that Ladies and Cavaliers, who saying, The greatest wonder he had seen, was a constant Lady; she answered again, That the greatest she had seen was a discreet Cavalier. All in the way of Gentile Rallery without stumb∣ling or falling foul on the Picquant, and at that Gen∣tile Rallery these Ladies were excellent, who went on inoffensively, without ever making a false pace on their way; nay, they went farther yet, and converting their Sports and Pastimes into Devotion, one said what she most wondered at, was, That any Noble Woman could be otherways then vertuous, when Vertue was only true Nobility; another, That she won∣dered their could be any Atheists in the World, when every thing put them in mind of a Divinity; and a third more divinely yet, That she wondered how any one could breathe or stir a foot, without thinking on him, in whom we live, move, and have our being.

The Fifth Nights Sport of WISHES.

THis amongst Gallants is one of their cheifest Sports; when striving who should wish some∣what most pleasing to their Mistress. One wishes him∣self Somnus, or the God of Sleep, to charm her senses into a sweet repose; another Morpheus, or the God of Dreams, to enter into her mind; and with some delightful dream insinuate the thought of himself amongst the rest: And a third wishing his Brest wholly transparent, that she might see through it, the pure∣ness of his affection; with many such like Gallantries, but all in vain: For just as Water can be derived no higher then its Fountain head, so Earthly minds can think of nothing, but Earthly things, whilest these Ladies were so heavenly minded, as one wished her self a Bird of Paradice, to have no more communi∣cation with Earth; another soared higher yet, Wishing her self in Heaven; and the third, Wished her self an Angel there; and she only wanted Wings, having in an Angelical Body an Angelical Spirit too. And this, with more delight and chearfulness then others wished for all the Treasures in the World, well knowing this World, in comparison with the other, was less then a drop of Water compared to the Ocean, or Grain of Dust, to the whole Globe of the Earth; but not to be thought to undervalue this World too much, by those who have but too magnificent a conceit of it. We will say no more, but past to the next Nights Sport.

The Sixth Nights Sport

Of GIPSIES.

THe Sport of Gipsies was excellent well represent∣ed by Her Highness servants, all properly ha∣bited with their Faces umbered over, supposed so many Doxies with their Solyman, who making their Entry in a Dance, fell to telling Fortunes, by Inspection of the Hand or Art of Chyromancy, as they pretended, though all their Art was to give such Fortunes as they imagined best pleasing to every one (like that Pain∣ter, when he could not make his Pictures like, made them Fair at least.) Giving young Maids good Husbands, Batchellors, rich Wives; and to every one long lives, and all prosperity; which the simple believed as Gospel, although as false as the Talmud or Alchoran. But this Sport differing only from that of Lotteries, in that, one is a dumb Fortune-Teller, and the other speaking ones; we will say no more of it, but only as they made their Entry, so they made their Exit in a Dance; after which, the rest made theirs too, and every one retired to their repose; and so they concluded the sixth Nights Sport, reserving the seventh day for their Devotions, if any thing could be added to the Devotions of the other days.

The end of this Weeks Sports and Divertisements.