set in gold? Why art thou troubled, O my soul, for the want
of these things which reprobates may have? and art not ra∣ther
admiring and blessing God for those things which none
but the darlings and favourites of heaven can have? is not an ounce
of pure gold more valuable than many pounds of
guilded brass? what though the dews of Helicon descend not
upon my head, if in the mean time the sweet influences of
Sion fall upon my heart? O my God! How much soever o∣thers
are elated by the light of their knowledge, I have cause
with humility to adore thee for the heavenly heat with which
thou hast warmed my affections,
Pause a while my soul opon this point. With what seed is
my heart sown, and of what kind are those things wherein I
excel others? are they indeed speciall seeds of grace, or
common gifts and naturall excellencies? If the latter, little
cause have I to pride my self in them, were they ten thou∣sand
times more then they are. If these things be indeed
the things that accompany salvation, the seed of God, the
true and real work of grace, Then (1) how comes it to pass
that I never found any throws or travelling pangs in the pro∣duction
of them? Its affirmed, and generally acknowledged
that the new creature is never brought forth without such
pains, and compunctions of heart, Act. 2. 37. I have in∣deed
often felt an aking head, whilst I have read and studied
to increase my knowledge; but when did I feel an aking
heart for Sin? Oh, I begin to suspect, that it is not right.
Yea, (2) and my suspition increases whiles I consider that.
grace is of an humbling nature, 1 Cor. 15. 10. Lord, how
have I been elated by my gifts and valued my self above
what was meet? O how have I delighted in the noise of the
Pharisees trumpet! Mat. 6. 2. No musick so sweet as that
Say, O my consicience, have I not delighted more in the
Theater, than the closet? in the praise of men, than the ap∣probation
of God? Oh, how many evidences dost thou pro∣duce
against me? Indeed these are sad symptoms that I have
shewed thee, but there is yet another which renders thy case
more suspitious yet; yea, that which thou canst make no ra∣tional
defence against, even the ineffectualness of all thy