And overturn every high thought there, that exalts it self against the Lord. This day in which Christ sits down before the soul, and summons it by such messengers as these, is a day of distress within; yea, such a day of trouble that none is like it. But though it be so: yet Satan hath so deeply intrencht himself in the mind, and will, that the soul yields not at the first summons, till its pro∣visions within are spent, and all its Towers of Pride, and Walls of vain confidence be undermined by the Gospel, and shaken down about its ears: and then the soul desires a parley with Christ. O now it would be glad of terms, any terms. If it may but save its life, let all go as a prey to the Conqueror. Now it sends ma∣ny such messages as these to Christ, who is come now to the very gates of the soul, mercy Lord, mercy; O were I but assured thou wouldst receive, spare and pardon me, I would open to thee the next moment. Thus the soul is shut up to the faith of Christ, as it is Gal. 3.23. and reduced now to the greatest straight and loss imaginable; and now the merciful King, whose only design is to conquer hearts, hangs forth the white flag of mercy before the soul, giving it hopes it shall be spared, pitied and pardoned, though so long in rebellion against him: If yet it will yield it self to Christ: many staggerings, hesitations, irresolutions, doubts, fears, scruples, half-resolves, reasonings for and against there are at the Council-table of mans own heart at this time. Sometimes there is no hope, Christ will slay me, if I go forth to him, and then it trembles. But then, whoever found him so, that tried him? Other souls have yielded, and found mercy beyond all their ex∣pectation. Oh but I have been a desperate enemy against him. Ad∣mit it, yet thou hast the word of a King for it; let the wicked forsake his way, and the unrighteous man his thoughts; and let him turn to the Lord, and he will have mercy on him; and to our God, for he will abundantly pardon him. Isa. 55.7.
But the time of mercy is past, I have stood out too long. Yet, if it were so, how is it that Christ hath not made short work and cut me off. Set fire, Hell fire to my soul, and withdrawn the siege? Still he waiteth that he may be gratious, and is exalted that he may have compassion. A thousand such debates there are, till at last the soul considering, if it abide in rebellion, it must needs perish; if it go forth to Christ, it can but perish; and being some∣what encouraged by the messages of grace sent into the soul at this time, such as that, Heb. 7.25. Wherefore he is able to save to the