Poems and songs by Thomas Flatman.

A Character of a Belly God.

Catius and Horace.

Horace.

WHence Brother Case, and whither bound so fast?

Ca.

Oh, Sir, you must excúse me I'm in haste, I dine with my (Lord Mayor) and can't allow Time for our eating Directory n••w,

Though I must needs confess, I think my Rules Would prove Pythagoras and Plato Fooles.

Hor.

Grave Sir, I must acknowledge, 'tis a crime To interrupt at such a nick of time; Yet stay a little Sir, it is no Sin; You 're to say Grace e're dinner can begin; Since you at food such Virtuoso are, Some Precepts to an hungry Poet spare.

Ca.

I grant you Sir, next pleasure t'ane in eating Is that (as we do call it) of repeating; I still have Kitching Systems in my mind, And from my Stomachs fumes a brain well lin'd,

Hor.

Whence pray Sir learnt you those ingenious Arts, From one at home, or hyr'd from foreign parts?

Ca.

No names Sir (I beseech you,) that's foul 'play We ne'r name Authors, only what they say.

1.

" For Eggs chuse long, the round are out of fa∣shion " U••savoury and distasteful to the Nation

" 'Ere since the brooding Rump they're addle too, " In the long Egg lyes Cock a-doodle-doo.

2.

" Chuse Coleworts planted on a soile that's dry, " Even they are worse for th'wetting (verily!)

3.

" If friend from far shall come to visit, then " Say thou wouldst treat the wight w^th mortal Hen " Do'nt thou forthwith pluck of the cackling head " And impale Corps on Spit assoon as dead; " For so she will be tough beyond all measure, " And friend shall make a trouble of a pleasure, " Steep't in good wine let her her life surrender, " O then shee'l eat most admirably tender.

4.

" Mushromes that grow in meadows are the best, " For ought I know there's poyson in the rest.

5.

" He that would many happy Summers see, " Let him eat Mulberies fresh off the Tree, " Gather'd before the Sun's too high, for these " Shall hurt his stomack less than Cheshire Cheese.

6.

" Aufidius (had you done so t'had undone ye) " Sweetned his morning's•• draughts of Sack-with Honey;

" But he did ill, to empty veines to give " Corroding Potion for a Lenitive.

7.

" If any man to drink do thee in veigle in, " First whet thy whistle with some good Metheglin.

8.

" If thou art bound, and in continual doubt " Thou shalt get in no more till some get out, " The Muscle, or the Cockle will unlock " Thy bodies trunck, and give a vent to nock; " Some say that Sorrel Steep't in Wine will do, " But to be sure, put in some Aloes too.

9.

" All shel-fish (with the growing Moon increast) " Are ever when she fills her Orb the best; " But for brave Oysters Sir. exceeding rare, " They are not to be met with every where; " Your Wall fleet Oysters no man will prefer " Before the juicy Grass-green Colchester; " Hungerford Crawfish match me if you can, " There's no such crawlers in the Ocean.

10.

" Next for your Suppers, you (it may be) think " There goe's no more to't, but just eat and drink;

" But let me tell you Sir, and tell you plain, " To dress 'em well requires a man of brain; " His Palate must be quick, and smart, and strong, " For sauce, a very Critick in the tongue.

11.

" He that payes dear for Fish, nay though the best, " May please his Fishmonger more than his Guest, " If he be ignorant what sauce is proper, " There's Machiavel in th' Menage of a Supper.

12.

" For Swines flesh, give me that of the wild Boar, " Pursu'd and hunted all the Forrest o're; " He to the liberal Oke nere quits his love, " And when he finds no Acorns, grunts at Iove; " The Hampshire Hog with Pease and Whey that's fed " Sti'd up, is neither good alive nor dead.

13.

" The tendrells of the Vine are Sallads good " If when they are in season understood.

14.

" If servants to thy board a Rabbet bring,

" Be wise and in the first place carve a wing.

15.

" When Fish and Fowl are right, and at just age, " A feeders curiosity t'asswage, " If any ask, who found the Mystery? " Let him enquire no farther, I am he.

16.

" Some fancy bread out of the Oven hot, " Variety's the Glutton's happiest lot.

17.

" Its not enough the Wine you have be pure, " But of your Oyl as well you ought be sure.

18.

" If any fault be in the generous Wine, " Set it abroad all night, and 'twill refine, " But never strein it, nor let it pass through li∣nen, " Wine will be worse for that, as well as Women,

19.

" The Vintner that of Malaga and Sherry " With damn'd ingredients patcheth up Canary, " With segregative things as Pigeons eggs " Strait purifies, and takes away the dregs.

20.

" An 'ore-charg'd Stomack roasted shrimps will ease. " The Cure by Lettuce is worse than the disease.

21.

" To quicken appetite it will behoove ye " To feed couragiously on good Anchovie.

22.

" Westphalia Ham, and the Bolognia Sawsage; " For second or third course will clear a passage, " But Lettuce after meales! fie on't, the Glutton " Had better feed upon Ram••ally-Mutton.

23.

" ••Twere worth one's while in Palace or in cottage, " Right well to know the sundry sorts of Pottage; " There is your French Pottage, Nativity broth, " Yet that of Fetter lane exceeds them both; " About a limb of a departed Tup " There may you see the green herbs boyling up, " And fat abundance o're the furnace floate, " Resembling Whale-Oyl in a greenland Boat.

24.

" The Kentish Pippin's best, I dare be bold, " That ever blew-cap Costard-monger sold.

25.

" Of Grapes, I like the Raisins of the Sun; " I was the First immortal Glory won, " By mincing Pickle Herrings with these Raisin▪ " And Apples; 'Twas I set the world a gazing, " When once they ••asted of this Hogan Fish, " Pepper and Salt enamelling the dish.

26.

" 'Tis ill to purchase great Fish with great matter, " And then to serve it up in scanty platter; " Nor is it lesse unseemly some believe, " From Boy with greasy fist drink to receive; " But the cup soul within's enough to make " A squeamish creature puke and turn up stomach.

27.

" Then Brooms and Napkins and the Flan∣der's Tyle, " These must be had too, or the Feast you spoil, " Things little thought on, and not very dear, " And yet how much they cost one in a year!

28.

" Would'st thou rub Alablaster with hands sa∣ble, " Or spred a Diaper cloth on dirty Table?

" More cost, more worship: Come, be a la mode, " Embelish Treat, as thou wouldst do an Ode.

Hor.

O learned sir, how greedily I hear This elegant Diatriba of good cheer! Now by all that's good, by all provant you love, By sturdy Chine of Beefe, and mighty Jove, I do conjure thy gravity, let me see The man that made thee this discovery; For he that sees Original's more happy Than him that draws by an ill favour'd Copy; O bring me to the man, I so admire! The Flint from whence brake forth these sparks of fire, What satisfaction would the visions bring? If sweet the stream, much sweeter is the spring.