Some opinions of Mr. Hobbs considered in a second dialogue between Philautus and Timothy by the same author.

THE BOOKSELLER TO THE READER.

Dear Reader,

THE Author wanting wit, con∣fidence, and friends to com∣mend himself and this follow∣ing Dialogue to the World, at that •…•…ast and prodigious rate, after which Mr. Hobbs (and such as he hired) is sufficiently known to have extolled himself and all his Writings; rather than such a man, and such endea∣vours, should utterly perish for want of a few good words, I was resolved to say somewhat, not only for my own gain, but also for my own pro∣fit. It is to be confessed, that there has been already so very much said (in Prefaces) of the bottomless de∣serts

and inestimable Writings of our Author's Adversary, that it will be a very difficult Talk for me, who am no ways concerned, no ways corru∣pted nor prepared, no Chaplain, no Butler, 〈◊〉〈◊〉 •…•…d, no Nephew, no R•…•…, no Friend nor Acquain∣tance of the Author, ever to over∣take those extravagant praises that Mr. Hobbs has shower'd down upon himself. But however, Reader, I prethee, do so much as hold my Hat and Gloves; and thou shalt see, what such an unprejudic'd and unconcern'd person can do for a poor, modest, shiftless, friendless, despairing, dying Author.

There was, thou know'•…•…t, a great Greek man, who was thrice asked what was most necessary to make an Orator: and 'tis known well enough, what his threefold answer was. Even so shouldst thou ask me three thou∣sand times over what is the most-best Book that ever was, or will be print∣ed, buy this, and thou hast fully an∣swered thy self and my design. The

Book, it is to be acknowledged, is but a Book; and that's the least and worst thing that can be said of it. But why do I call it a Book: what am I mad? for in reality 'tis all Books: for it does not only faithfully relate what has been already done, but it foretells all that shall be done. Dost thou want, Reader, a just, true, and impartial History of the whole World; from the very beginning, to the very minute that thou buyest this Book? trouble not thy self, here 'tis. It be∣gins ten thousand years before the oldest Praeadamite, and holds good and firm ten thousand years after the World shall end. Dost thou want a true, •…•…ound, substantial, Orthodox Body of Divinity? hold it still fast; for thou hast got it. This very Book was at the first four General Coun∣cils, and in all the Persecutions. Hast thou a mind to a compleat body of the Law, Civil Law, Canon Law, Common Law, &c? The twelve Tables were stollen out of this Book last week, when 'twas printing: I

met with the Rogue at Pye▪Corner, but he out-ran me: and so were Ly∣curgus's Laws, and Justinian's Insti∣tutes: as for Littleton, Cook, &c. 'tis plain they had all hence: and as London-Bridge stands upon several Wool-packs; so Westminster-Hall it self, and all its proceedings, stand upon four of these Books. Dost thou want Galen, Hippocrates, Paracelsus, Helmont, &c? want them still; for in effect thou hast them all. For here's that which cures all diseases; and teaches a most certain way how to make a compleat Gentleman, at one baking. Dost thou want a Book to measure the height of Stars, survey Ground, make a Dial, &c? Look pag. 79. lin. 12. it tells thee ex∣actly what's a Clock either by day or by night; next line thou hast full Moon and new, high Tide at London Bridge, and all the Bridges in the World. Turn down the fourth leaf of this Book when thou goest to bed; and 'twill go off just at that hour, and waken you as well as any Alarum. Immediately after which follows a

compleat and most wonderful Table of Consequences; which, if read one way, tells you all the Fairs and Mar∣kets; t'other way all the Battels that ever have been, or shall be fought; with the number of the slain, &c. And besides, it doubles Cubes and Squares, Circles (better than Mr. Hobbs) only with an Oyster shell and a pair of Tobacco Tongs. And now, Reader, tell me, art thou so void of conscience, reason, and all sense of thy own benefit, as not to carry home this Book?

Besides, read but five pages of it Spring and Fall, and for that year thou art certainly secured from all Feavers, Agues, Coughs, Catarrhs, &c. Chomp three or four lines of it in a morning; it scours and clarifies the Teeth; it settles and confirms the Jaws; and brings a brisk and florid colour into the Cheeks. The very sight of the Book does so scar all Cramps, Bone-aches, running Gouts, and the like, that they won't come within a stones cast of your house.

Art thou, Reader, a single man? be no longer so, but alter thy condi∣tion, and take this Book along with thee. Hast thou a Wife and Chil∣dren, and are they dear to thee? here's a Book for that dear Wife, and for those dear Children. For it does not only sing, dance, play on the Lute, speak French, ride the great Horse, &c. but it performs all Fami∣ly duties. It runs for a Midwife, it rocks the Cradle, combs the Childs head, sweeps the House, milks the Cows, turns the Hogs out of the Corn, whets Knives, lays the Cloth, grinds Corn, beats Hemp, winds up the Jack, brews, bakes, washes, and pays off Servants their Wages exactly at Quarter day; and all this it does at the same time, and yet is never out of breath. Besides, if thou hast a mind to borrow eight or ten thou∣sand pounds; never look c•…•…t for a surety, but take this Book along with thee; it will go further and for more than half the Bankers.

It were endless, Reader, to tell

thee all the uses and excellencies of this Treatise: which though it be a full Answer to all ill-natur'd, sedi∣tious, heretioal, blasphemous Books that ever were written; yet, after a most peculiar manner, it does so horridly rout some silly-phantastical opinions of Mr. Hobbs, that he'l be ashamed ever so much as to owne any one opinion again. Mr. Hobbs hap∣ned into a fancy that every thought was necessary: i. e. not one thought, Reader, that thou ever hadst since thou camest into the World, that thou couldst any more have avoided thinking, than that thy hair is black, or the Sky blue. Now, to that says my Author most wonderfully and judiciously; that if such a thing should ever come to pass, that is to say, that if ever any man at any time should chance to have but one thought crowded upon him, he would presently have a most huge Oak grow out of his Neck, and his left Leg would be turned into a Phoenix▪ This he proves at large. Again says

Mr. Hobbs, that every action that a man does is perfectly unavoidable: to that says our Author, very candidly and ingenuously: that if any one man should be forced willingly, to do any one action; the Moon would presently tumble into that mans mouth. In the next place, says Mr. Hobbs, there's nothing in the World but matter. Ay, says our Author, nothing but matter! then has not any man, in his life, ever tasted of a Pudding. This, Reader, is plain de∣monstration. Then for Philosophi∣cal Language, Mathematicks, and Divinity; he brings him to such ab∣surdities, as you never heard of, nor are to be imagined. Only thus far I'le tell you, that if Mr. Hobbs has squared the Circle, then both Mars and Venus, and the seven Stars will be every one of them most certainly in the Counter, the next Friday after you buy this Book.

Never was any Book more magni∣fied beyond the Seas, than this has been. Go into France, Spain, Italy,

or any other part of Europe, no other discourse but of the Dutch War, and this second Dialogue. If the French King and Brandenburgh have agreed, without doubt, 'twas done by this second Dialogue: and if he ever beat the Dutch, 'twill be just after the same manner, as Tim has slain the Leviathan. For 'tis already translated into Latine, Greek, French, Spanish, and the Universal Language. Al•…•…u∣ding to this Dialogue, says Tully; Omnes ex omni aetate libri, si unum in locum conferuntur cum Servio Sulpitio Timotheo non sunt conferendi. And says Pindar (doubtless of this Book) 〈 in non-Latin alphabet 〉〈 in non-Latin alphabet 〉. 'Tis needless to tell you what Zenophon, Josephus, Varro, and the Talmud say of it. I know, Reader, 'tis a little uncivil and unbe∣coming for one of my Profession to seem so learned. But how could I help it? for I did only carry the first sheet of this second Dialogue to the Press, and when I returned, my Wife and Family could not understand one word I said.

What if Mr. Hobbs were familiar with Gassendus, Mersennus, and Mon∣sieur Sorbier; whenas our Author went to School with Archimedes, and Julius Caesar was his Bed-fellow? And what if Mr. Hobbs initiated his present Majesty in the Mathematicks; this Author, at the same time, disciplined six young Kings, four Emperours: and the first Pope that ever was in∣fallible was then his Usher?

But now, Reader, I take leave; but only I am to let you know, (not to deceiv•…•… you) that I am very doubtful, whether the Book be worth reading. But if you under∣stand me aright, 'tis the more valua∣ble for that. For such is the vertue of this Book, that the meer buying of it will do all those feats above∣mentioned. And therefore lay down your money: and so farewel.