The excellent woman described by her true characters and their opposites

Of the Complaisant, or Pleasing Humour.

IT IS TRUE that there is nothing of more importance than to know the Art to Please, and to make ones self beloved in all Companies: As we have all an Inclination, towards Society, we ought to enquire af∣ter the means to succeed well in it, and to

gain the Affection and Esteem of those we meet, when we are in Conversation or in Business. It is true, that among all the Qualities necessary to this, there is not one that seems more requisite than Complaisance or Courteousness, since without that, all the other are without Gracefulness and are as it were dead. But it is also very certain, that the Use of this is very difficult: Most easily does this offend either in Excess or Defect. If it be not attended with a great deal of Judgment and Discretion, then the Ladies that are too Complaisant pass for Loose or Affected: and if they are not enough so, they shall be thought to be Disdainful or Uncivil: There is not less danger in receiving this, than in giving it. Those Ladies that render too much Complaisance, are liable to be troublesome, those that receive too much are in danger to be seduced. There are those that will mingle Flattery with Complaisance, to bring them into Error; as Wine is mingled with Poison to draw down the deadly Draught. There is therefore danger lest many should take the Poison for Food, and lest they drink the Flattery while they think themselves re∣ceiving only a simple Complaisance. Com∣monly the one of these is so strictly join'd to the other, that there is need of a great deal of Prudence to be able to separate them. And that we may the better succeed in this, it seems to me convenient to examine, in the

first place, what there is of Good or of Evil i•• the Complaisant Humour, to the end we may learn, with the better method and the greater facility, wherein the Use of this is al∣low'd or forbidden to us.

AS THE Complaisance which I must condemn is nothing else but the Art to de∣ceive pleasantly, it must be acknowledg'd, that the most pernicious of its Effects are that it makes an appearance pass for truth, and a feigned Friendship for a true one. Those Spirits that are most dissembled, con∣strain themselves to appear Genuine and Sincere, to the end they may gain the Cre∣dit of Confidents and Friends: But it is herein, that their Artifice is discovered; and it comes to be known that they have not that Freedom and Ingenuity they pretend to, in that they over-act their Pretences to i••. Though Patr••••lus made use of all the Armour of Achilles, and some of his Weapons, yet he would not venture to use his Javeline, be∣cause this was of such a sort as that A∣chilles alone was well able to manage it. In like manner, though a dissembled Person does take all the appearances of one that is Vertuous, yet she should not dare to med∣dle with the pretence to Freeness or ••••∣genuousness of Temper: This is a quality that cannot possibly sit well upon her, she cannot counterfeit Pla••••ness without be∣traying that she w•••••••• it. As the C••••••le∣ons

take all sorts of Colours from the things they lie upon excepting only the white; so ••••••se disguised Souls will take all sorts of ••••••pes, will appear under all forms of Coun∣tenance: but after all their Artifice, it will be always observ'd, That it is impossible to serve themselves well of a pretence to Free∣dom and Candour. As upon painted Faces we may commonly see both the Paint and the ugliness too; so we may see at the same time upon the looks that are too Complaisant the plain traces of Dissimulation and Knavery. The Ladies have but too much experience of this; as their Good nature renders them cre∣dulous, so it does as often make them misera∣ble.

What a deal of difficulty is there in Com∣plaisance! How much mischief does this car∣ry i•• it against others! There is no Humour so wicked and ill, with which this evil Com∣plaisance will not testifie a Sympathy. They ••eep with the Unfortunate, they talk ill with the Slanderers, they laugh with them that are pleased, and rave with the Melancholy. They know how to vilifie Vertue, and to palliate Vice they have Ointments for all sorts of Wounds, and Paint for all sorts of Faces. To the end they may surprize and impose upon weak Minds, they will make shew sometimes of reproving severely, but their Censure is nothing but 〈◊〉〈◊〉, their Counsels have no 〈◊〉〈◊〉, as they have nothing of Sincerity or

Truth: To speak of them as they deserve we may say, they resemble much the Hercule upon a Theatre, who holds in his Hand a mighty Club, but it is Hollow; It is made but of Past-board and painted Cloth, and may strike a Man without making a Wound, and almost without making it self felt.

Certainly if the Holy Scripture calls the Complaisant Preachers by the name of Adulterers, we may say the same of seeming and disguised Friends, who do not speak so as to be useful to us, but only that they may be agreeable: who do not talk to do ••s a pleasure but to receive one from us.

Let a Man suffer himself to be enchanted as much as he will with the Complaisance of another, and rely upon it, and appear to do so, yet he shall commonly find the Pro∣mises false, and the appearances deceitful: Those of this sort who make show of an Affection for all the World, have indeed none for any body. As we see nothing upon the Sepulchers of the greatest Princes, but only Names and meer Titles of their Gran∣dure: so likewise the visages of these Persons carry as it were only the empty Names of Friends. And as there is nothing to be found within those Gilded Tombs, but only Dust or Rottenness, so there is nothing but Treache∣ry and Inconstancy under so Complaisant a Mien. Let us elsewhere seek for truth and not please our selves with the embracing of

a Phantasm. This sort of wits are always somewhat selfish in their Designs, they con∣stantly follow Fortune, and turn about with the Motion of her Wheel. When Helio∣••••balus commanded these fawning Flatterers to be tied to a Wheel and thrown into the Water, he seemed to have a very right Opi∣nion of them, and to have condemned them to a very suitable punishment; in making them to be cast into an Element of which they themselves have the pliableness, and in tying them to a Wheel of which they have the Inconstancy. It would be no wrong to them to compare them to the poor baffled Ixion, who believe and rely upon these Comple∣menters; inasmuch as they experience that after all their Promises, if they come to the proof of them, they can find no effect in them, they embrace in them but meer shad∣dows. To embrace a Complaisant Person, is to embrace a Cloud instead of a Juno.

HAVING thus taken Notice of a prin∣cipal Effect of this Humour, let us now ob∣serve one of the principal Marks of it. The Complaisant aim at nothing but Ostentation, and Show: And as when we see the most Paint upon a Face, we believe most largely of the Defects of it, judging the height of the Malady by the Quantity of the Physick: In like manner, the more Study and Endeavour, and the more Constraint we perceive in a Person's Actions and Demeanour, we may very well

conclude we shall find in the same Proportion, that their Designs are wicked; and that the greatest Wickedness often seeks the fairest Mask for it's Disguise. A Flatterer will make more Offers than a Friend; and the false a∣mity often glitters more than the true. The Reason of this is not at all difficult to find. It is because Art is more prodigal than Nature, and Fiction▪ than Truth. Fiction willingly produces nothing but Appearances; and Truth lays hold of nothing but Substance. Men, as well as Trees, commonly bring forth more Leaves than Fruit, and have a great deal more of Show than Effect. The Art of Limning and that of Complementing do not much differ from each other; both the one and the other employ themselves only about Colours, and helabour nothing but Surfaces. I do not at all think it strange to see the complaisant Persons prodigal of Com∣plements; a Man will be more liberal of Counters than of Angels; and it costs a great deal less to gild the Statues which are made of Lead or Wood, than to make them of solid Gold. The most beautiful Roses have not the better Smell, they that have so much of Colour have the less of Scent. Nature her self divides her gifts, and, as if she were cove∣tous or poor and feeble, she seems to find a Difficulty is making the same thing very beautiful and very good. We may say as much as this concerning the Truth and the

Appearance of Friendship: It is often found that the one is separated from the other, and known that they who show so much Affection upon the Forehead, have some∣times none in the Soul. To speak the truth, they are like those Cushions we lean upon, that are on the out-side some costly Stuff, perhaps, but have nothing within them but only Chaff or Flocks. These are Bats that fly not but in the Twilight, that love neither the Day nor the Night; but a third Season composed of both. They are Peacocks which carry very lovely Feathers, but have the Feet of a Thief, the Head of a Serpent, and the Yellings of the Devils. They are Reeds that comply with every Wind, and accomodate themselves to every Humour, but they grow in the Mud, they are weak and hol∣low; they break under the Hand that leans upon them, and wound it too.

COMPLAISANCE is not only Ex∣cessive, but also Defective too, and in both Cases Degenerates into Flattery. It is Exces∣sive in praising, and Defective in reproving; it speaks either too much or too little; it equally abuses both Discourse and Silence. It is like a Perspective that shows a thing great or little; and sets it as at a distance, or very near, as one will. It ascribes a great deal to the least Vertues; it takes much away from the greatest Crimes; it laughs and it weeps when it pleases; and Aristotle says, it is no

less excessive in Pretences to pity than to Love. There is no sort of Part but it can act: Now it shall be defending Vice; after∣wards it shall be accusing Vertue. One while it gives beautiful Names to things that are most ugly, calling Rashness Courage; Covetousness Thrist and good Huswifry; Im∣pudence a good Humour; and then turning up the reverse of the Medal, it will give the most infamous Titles to that which is highly commendable; calling Eloquence Babling▪ Modesty Foolishness; and an ingenuous Free∣dom, Insolence.

It is after this manner that it abuses both Reproofs and Praises, and makes the Laws either severe or favourable as it will. It throws Oil into Fire, it foments and inflames yet more the most debauched Inclinations; it encourages to the committing of evil, those that as yet boggle a little at it; it lets loose the Reins to the most wild Desires, when a just Fear had restrain'd them. It speaks to us as the accursed Julia to her Son Bassianus: You can do whatever you will. This young Emperour being become most monstrously in love with his own Mother, when at a certain time he saw her with her Neck and Brests uncover'd, and sigh'd in her hearing, without daring to tell the Cause; the Motions of his lascivious Love not having yet entirely stifled those of his Respect and Fear. This complaisant Cour∣tisan took away from him all Apprehension;

she hardned him in his Passion instead of re∣proving him: She was not asham'd to have her own Son her Gallant; and to be Mother and Mistriss to the same Person.

What is there so horrid and impious, but Complaisance can advise to it? It can di∣spence with any thing; there are no Passions so extravagant, but this can breed them in the Soul, or maintain them there. When the vile Myrrha fell in love with her own Fa∣ther, she found a Compliance in her Nurse, who afforded her Means to succeed in her in∣famous Design, instead of diverting her from it. When Dido was passionately in love with a Stranger, her Sister, too complaisant in the Case, added to the Flames, instead of striving to quench them. Complaisance approves all that which we will, and takes but little care to perswade, tho' without Eloquence; since it advises only to that which pleases. The Ills that Concupiscence causes only to bud in us, Complaisance makes them increase and bring forth Fruit. If Concupiscence be the Mother of Wickedness, this is the Nurse of it; it finishes and exalts that which the other left but low and beginning.

It finds Excuses for every thing: It said to the Wretch Bassianus, when he was in love with his Mother; that the Will of Kings ought to be their only Rule: And they being above all others, there is no reason they should be depriv'd of the Pleasures they desire,

by submitting themselves to the forbiddings of another Man. This said to Myrrha, that the Gods themselves had no Regard to Near∣ness of Blood; that Juno was the Sister, and Wife of Jupiter; and that the Motions of Love do not at all oppose those of Nature. It told Dido, that the Dead do not mind at all what the Living do; that there is no Fidelity due to him that is not any longer; and that Si∣chaeus was not jealous in his Tomb of that which Aeneas might do at Carthage. This has in it a readiness to undertake the most horrid Enterprises; this was the Sister of Dido that corrupted her; this was the Nurse of Myrrha, that led her to the fatal Precipice; this was the Mother of Baessianus, that de∣bauch'd her own Son. It encourages those Women that hesitate and tremble; it teaches those that are ignorant; it hardens those that are scrupulous, and fortifies them that are weak.

It is for this Reason, that Complaisance is so well receiv'd when any have ill Designs; because, instead of contradicting or reproving these, it gives the Means to carry them on and accomplish them. It is from hence that the terri∣ble Guards about the Persons of Kings cannot hinder this from entring into Palaces: It is for this that it is every where receiv'd with such a gracious Countenance, and especially in Courts; where there must be nothing used but supple Cringing, and where Licentious∣ness

will not be reprov'd. It is lastly for this Reason that the Amorous and the Courtiers strive to keep the Fair, and the Princes in Er∣rour, to the end they may maintain them∣selves in their Favour. Let us not dissemble in this matter, and while we are speaking of this base and cowardly Complaisance, let us not render our selves guilty of the Crime we condemn. The Complaisant, round about a Man that is in favour, are as Shadows about a Body in the Sun-shine. If one removes ••••m∣self, they are stirr'd with the same Motion; if one sweats, they wipe their Faces; if one be a cold, their Faces are frozen; if we speak, these are but Echo's to repeat our Words. They are Shadows which have no Solidity, and fly from us when we think to lay hold on them; Voices without a Soul, which Interest, and not Truth, drives from the Breasts of Flatterers. How unprofitable to us is such a Complaisance? Have we any Assistance from a Shadow that follows us? Have we any Consolation from an Echo that pities us? But alas, how dangerous is this Complaisance! If you speak Blasphemies, this Echo will answer them; run to any manner of Wicked∣ness, this Shadow will follow you. This Echo repeats the Speeches of the Impious as well as of the Just; and this Shadow follows the Bodies that are Sick as well as those that are sound. Unhappy Compassion! that knows very well how to destroy us in a

good Fortune, but knows not how to com∣fort us as it ought under a bad one.

Deceitful Complaisance that stays with us but only while our gaudy Days last, and flies away like the Birds that change their Coun∣try when the Winter approaches. May we not after all this say, That Prosperity as well as Adversity, has but few true Friends; since as the one wants them that should comfort it, the other is no less in want of those that should admonish. As the Miserable have none to show them some grounds of Hope; so they that are Happy, are no less destitute of such as should warn them to fear. If Compassion be dumb in the presence of the Afflicted; Complaisance is so in the presence of the Vicious; the one is careful, not to keep at too great distance from a good Fortune; the other sometimes fears to approach an evil one. See here that Complaisance is the Poi∣son of the Great, the Enchantment of the Court, the Enemy of Truth, and Mother of all Vice.

AND NEVERTHELESS, how much Mischief soever it does, we have no small Difficulty to defend our selves from it; it is an agreeable Murderer, the Wounds of it please us, and when it kills we cannot tell how to complain. I grant there are some that have Remedies, as well as Ʋlysses, a∣gainst this fatal Syren, who smiles to make others weep; and wracks those Vessels that

she has allur'd to her by her Songs; and who appears beautiful, but is indeed a Mon∣ster. Certainly if there be some that are E∣nemies to Complaisance, there are a great many more that suffer themselves to be en∣chanted with it. If there are some few that re∣semble Theodosius in this, that they are in∣vincible to their Commendations; and that they chuse rather to endure Slander than Flattery: There are many more like Antipater, who are willing to dissemble their Imperfe∣ctions, and will be painted with but half a Face if they want an Eye. There are more that suffer themselves to be catch'd with the Charms of it, than there are, that defend themselves from them. Complaisance is an Enemy that is resisted only by flying from it; it has poison'd Weapons; it needs but to touch that it may Wound, and to come near, that it may conquer us. It has Charms that are of great value, even to the most grave and serious. We cannot repulse them with∣out Regret; we shun it only that it may seek us, and if we refuse it Entrance, 'tis only in jest and pretence; and as to a Mistress, against whom her Lover shuts the Door, on∣ly that she may thrust it open. As soon as this has gain'd the Ear it wins the Heart, and to defend our selves from it, we must be either very wise or very insensible. Especial∣ly the more it pleases, the more it hurts us; it is by so much the more dangerous, by

how much it is agreeable. It was for this Reason that Artemidorus said to his Friends, That there was danger of seeing a Flatterer even in his sleep, and that there can be no safety even with his Shadow or Picture. You may judge from hence of the Malice of this Enemy, since his very Picture is mischievous and deserving our Caution. This is not but too true at this time. We live in an Age wherein Complaisance is more in Vogue, and has more of force than ever. We are in a time when they who know not how to Flat∣ter are accounted Clownish; and those who will not be flattered are esteem'd Dull. At this day they who have not the Art of Flat∣tery know not how to Please. In the present Age as well as in that of Saint Jerom they take Flattery for an effect of Humility, or Good-Will; insomuch that they who abandon this shameful Trade, are held for Envious Persons or Proud.

BUT certainly if we examine well those whom Flattery corrupts, we shall commonly find that it has no power at all but upon the smallest Wits. The Pyramids of Egypt are said to cast no shadow, notwithstanding that they are very high; and the good Wits will not suffer about them this Complaisance or Flattery. They are no more dazled with the Rays of Truth than the Eagles are with those of the Sun. Antisthenes his Comparison seems to me most admirable, when he said that

the Complaisant Persons resemble Courtisans in that they desire all things in their Servants excepting Reason and Prudence. These are things greatly wanting in those who love to Complement, those that have good Judg∣ment abhor such cringing; and the excel∣lent Wits had rather be troublesome than dissembled; and much rather may I say, they had rather be troubled than flattered. Those that are wise are neither willing to be de∣ceiv'd, nor desirous to deceive; they are not willing their Judgment should commit an Error any more than their Will. If we do not see the Artifice of the Complaisant it is our Ignorance, if we do discover this and yet endure it, 'tis an intolerable Ambition. This compliance is proper only to the looser Souls, and freedom is natural to the gene∣rous. If the Hypocrite is thought the most guilty of all Sinners, the Flatterer may be deem'd the most pernicious of all Enemies; for as the former would impose upon the Eyes of the All-knowing God; so the latter would al∣so abuse the Eyes of them that are Wise. And as God abhors a false Devotion, so a wise Man ought to detest a false Amity.

BUT IF this Complaisance were not dangerous, yet it is infamous, both in those that receive, and in those that practise it. It is a sign of weakness of Spirit to let it cor∣rupt us; and the Ladies that have a good Judgment cannot be pleased with this fashi∣onable

trick, of finding Vices and Vertues where ever one will.

Aristippus said, That the only fruit he had received from his Philosophy was to speak plainly to all the World, and to tell freely his Thoughts of things. The good Minds should have no other aim but this, nor any other sense of things but what they declare; though the Vulgar may perhaps endeavour only to conceal what they think. I esteem very much that other Philosophy which taught the Disciples of it this one thing as conducing enough to a good Life alone, which was, That they should always observe the Sun, to the end they might thereby learn, that, as that Planet scatters even the smallest Mists, so a good Conscience will dissipate all manner of disguise and constraint. All this Artifice is a sign either of Wickedness or Cowardise, and of a Spirit very feeble or very ill disposed. As Prudence and Courage are inseparable, so Policy and Weakness are always together. Reeds yield more to the Winds than Oaks do; and Foxes are more crafty than Lions, the fearful than the generous, and the little Spirits than great ones. The best and wisest Minds ordinarily hate tricks and cheating, and if at any time they make use of Artifice 'tis only as a counter-poison; it is never to do evil but only to avoid it, 'tis not to assault any others, but only to defend themselves. It is one of the most noble effects of Magnanimity

to love and to hate only openly. Besides, those that are wise must be always equal, but the Complaisant are under a necessity of changing every moment; there is nothing cer∣tain or steady in their humour, any more than in their looks, because that as well as the other depends upon the humour of the Per∣son they would please. They are forced sometimes to condemn in the same hour that which they have before commended, or to extol to the Skies the same thing which they had before damned to the bottomless Pit. Complaisance then has commonly attending upon it these two shameful qualities, Cowar∣dise, and Inequality or Unconstancy.

I speak nothing in all this but what the Complaisant themselves will own; and so those that are most expert at this Trade will not address themselves to any but the un∣taught, and meaner Wits: They are like those Mountebanks that produce their sor∣ry Medicines only before the Ignorant Vulgar. They that have but a small measure of Knowledge can lift up the Mask and de∣ride the Cheat; they will more regard what these Persons are in effect, than what they are in the Opinion of others. And if we un∣derstand this matter rightly, we shall know it is from hence that they who mightily love themselves do also love those that flatter them; for it is very seldom that we can find together much knowledge and a great

admiration of our selves. They that well know themselves and what they are, will give no heed to the Complements, that ascribe to them what they are not. They therefore that Idolize their own Opinions have an A∣version for all those that contradict them: They, like Ahab, love none but the fawning Prophets, and they care not if one does de∣ceive them, provided he flatter too.

Certainly there are too many of the Ladies like Jezebel in her Hatred of Elijah, I mean that hate those who reprehend their faults; like the Apes that endeavour to break the Looking-glasses wherein they see themselves, because these discover their Ugliness. Nevertheless I wish they could understand, that a good Ad∣monition, or a Reproof well given, is of much more advantage to them (as Solomon says) than the most costly Pendants at the Ears. I confess, that when ever a Reproof is given, it should be softened as much as is possible that it may not give the receiver too much pain: But yet it must be said, That if there be some smart in it, the Ladies ought to resolve that they will endure it, since it may be use∣ful to them, and serving to their Honour; and a seasonable Correction may contribute more to the ornament of the Mind than Jewels at the Ears can do to the adorning of the Face. But on the other side, if any do so love and admire themselves as that they cannot bear the truth when it shows them

their defects, such a Humour shall easily be conquered by Complaisance. As they make it a very easie and short Work to a Besieger who give up the place they ought to de∣fend, so it is not difficult to conquer that Person by Flattery whose self-love betrays him. Complaisance has no difficulty to sur∣prize our Minds when it has an intelligencer within us of this follish self-admiring hu∣mour. It is like those Thieves that have their correspondents in the House they design to Rob that shall open the Doors for them in the Night when People have no thoughts of defending themselves. As when Eve was gain'd, Adam himself follow'd soon after; so when the Inclination is corrupted by Flat∣tery the Mind is not long before it yields. This Comparison seems not to be much a∣miss, since the Complaisant have the shifting Tricks of the Serpent as well as his Poison, and easily slide themselves quite in there, where the least part of them is admitted; and in that they accost our humour to de∣bauch our Reason, and make the former pre∣sent the Apple to the latter.

They therefore that perceive that their good-nature carries them to the Love of Com∣plaisance, ought to be always upon their guard: They must never be drowsie or care∣less least the Flatterer like the Serpent should seduce this Eve It is in this Case that the Ladies are in a great deal of danger, if they

do not take good notice, that Complaisance will show them such Fruits as promise Life, but will give them Death. Certainly they ought to consider well this Example, where∣in they may see how much mischief this thing did to the first Woman, in giving her Courage to Sin, in permitting her that which God had forbidden her. Those of her Sex ought to remember that they have Enemies that flatter, to destroy them, and accommo∣date themselves to their humour that they may ensnare their Judgment.

IN MY OPINION it were an excel∣lent remedy against the mischief of this, for the Women to consider seriously what they are when any praise them for that they are not. To judge whether these Painters have drawn our Picture true, we must confront the Copy and Original, and observe whether the Pourtraicture drawn for us be according to our Nature. There is nothing so contra∣ry to Complaisance as Conscience: this does very often condemn us even while that is commending. But as the Slanders of the Malicious do not hinder but that we may be very good; so notwithstanding the Ap∣plauses of Flatterers we may be very blame∣worthy. Complaisance then is the Capital Enemy of Conscience, it would extinguish this Divine Light, it would lull this careful Sentinel asleep, it would silence this inward Monitor which ought to have a con∣stant

liberty to speak to us, and who lashes us with remorse if we deserve it, while the Complaisant are flattering us with Praises.

What is there then in Society so pernicious as this? when it hinders us from acknowledg∣ing our faults, and would have us continue in them and make our errors the Discourse of the World. It is for this reason better that we undergo Censure than Complaisance; because it is less dangerous to be accused than praised falsly: The Wounds of a Friend are of more worth than the Kisses which a Flat∣terer gives us. If we must needs commit an Error, and take our selves to be what we are not in truth, it is better far to have too bad an Opinion of our selves to the end we may be humbled thereby, than to flatter our selves into an Opinion of more worth than we have. It is less dangerous to fly from a Shadow than to let an Enemy come within reach of us: it is better to fear an apparent evil than not to fear a true one; our fear is herein much less dangerous than our boldness.

IT IS TRUE that Slander and Flattery do both equally make War against Vertue, but as the one assaults it with a Sword, the other does this with Poison: for which reason they ought to have more fear of Flatterers than of the Slanderers; as they would more industri∣ously shun those Enemies who hide their de∣signs than those that openly make their War. But let us see what in the end becomes of the

Complaisant, with all their falshood, with all their disguise and dawbing. As soon as their Artifice is discovered, they are held in abhor∣rence, they remain ever after suspected by all the World; they are never lov'd any longer than till they are known. And, to say the truth, the content which Complaisance affords, and the distast that is ever caused by a free∣dom, are both equal, but of short continu∣ance. At first the Candid and Sincere are re∣pulsed, and the Complaisant are approv'd, but experience changes the Sentiment: and Complaisance at the end gains the same Aver∣sion which the freedom met at the beginning. As Solomon says, He that rebuketh a man, after∣wards findeth more favour than he that flattereth with his tongue. The one begins with a short sweetness, to end in a long distaste and bit∣terness; and the other begins with a slight disgust, but 'tis to continue in a satisfaction the more solid and durable. The one is like a Medicine which does not distaste us but to give us Health, the other like a Poison which is sweetned that it may kill. Hence it comes to pass that herein Complaisance has effects quite contrary to those of the truth that corrects us: In that all the World esteem and seek this truth before it appears, and when they see it, it makes their Eyes smart, and offends. On the contrary, all the World blames the Compliance of Flatterers, but when it comes near it pleases and bewitches us.

We cannot hate the latter nor love the former, but only during their absence from us.

NOW THAT WE HAVE THUS SEEN What there is of Evil in Complaisance, let us next examine what it has of Goodness or Usefulness in it. Whatever some may say of this, it may be as far distant from Flat∣tery, as Prudence is from Craft, and Courage from Rashness. And if it should be said that at least it is very difficult not to run out of one into the other, this were to deceive ones self as much as if we should think that a Per∣son cannot be Liberal unless he be Prodigal, or that we cannot possibly separate a Mediocrity from an Excess.

I readily own there is often a Compliance that is base; as when Cynethus commended Demetrius Phalereus for that he kept time in spitting when he was troubled with a Cough. I own that the Flatterers may abuse this excel∣lent Vertue, but what one is there that they do not abuse? What is there so Beautiful or Divine, as that the Ignorant or the Wicked cannot prophane it? May they not even do ill with truth? Those that boast themselves of a good Action they have done are not they guilty of Vanity though they tell no lye in the case? We ought not therefore to condemn Complaisance, for that there are many that do not know the right use of it. It is extream∣ly good in its nature, though commonly it is very bad in mens practice and use of it.

And that this may the better appear, is it not true that this great freedom which many praise does very often proceed not from an In∣tegrity of Manners in the Man's own self, but from Conceitedness rather, and from Va∣nity and Imprudence. We take pleasure to contradict, sometimes, because the fear of be∣ing overcome makes us loth to confess even the truth it self. Nevertheless though I should grant that this sharp reprehending humour does not come from a bad Principle, yet at least it must be said of it, That 'tis a bad effect of a good Cause. Those that are so rude and uncomplaisant are Objects of Com∣passion, though they be Learned and Vertu∣ous. One may say of them what Plato said of Xenocrates, That notwithstanding his Know∣ledge and his Honesty, he had need to sacri∣fice to the Graces. If this rudeness be un∣becoming a Philosopher, how shall it be com∣mendable in a Lady? As gentle sweetness is natural to their Sex, so Complaisance ought to be inseparable from their Actions and Discourse. 'Tis true I do not approve of that which appears affected and constrained when it endeavours to Please: but also I can∣not excuse those Women that put on so much Gravity as to become Morose. Sweetness and Severity are not contrary, but only different things; and Prudence may put them into so perfect a Temperament, that the one may give Lustre to the other.

Also I do not mean, that to render them∣selves Complaisant, they should universally approve all things; these are two extreams equally blamable; to take upon one to com∣plement or contradict indifferently in all sorts of Rencounters. Those Spirits that contra∣dict every thing, are sowre or presumptuous; those that approve of all, are ignorant or cowardly. Those Women that make Pro∣fession of Contradicting all things, do this either out of Inclination, or with Artifice: if this be from Inclination, it shows the rugged∣ness of their Humour; if from Artifice, they are vainly proud of a little Wit. Certainly let it proceed from what it will, it cannot always succeed, it is always joyn'd with a vicious Temperament, or an imprudent De∣sign; and is in Persons ill born, or ill in∣structed.

How troublesome are these Women in Con∣versation! If they did but regard the pub∣lick Good so much as they do their own pri∣vate Satisfaction, they would vow an eternal Solitude and Retirement; and would never show themselves but when People wanted Mortification. Let us do what we will, or forbear to do, 'tis impossible to content them. If the Company do not agree to their Senti∣ment, they are vexed; if they follow their Opinion, then they themselves begin to have another quite contrary, on purpose that they may contradict without end. If any others

commend a Vertue, they will detract and condemn it. If any condemn a Vice, it is pre∣sently their Part in the Scene, to excuse or defend it. They value and mind not what their Opinion is of any thing, provided it be contrary to that of others. If you praise them, they will accuse you of Flattery; if you do not commend them, they will con∣demn you for ungrateful; if one speaks be∣fore them, one is a Babler; if one does not speak, he is disdainful. They will find some∣thing to blame, both in our Discourse, or in Silence; they will condemn both Conversa∣tion and Solitude.

To speak rightly of this Matter; we must say that the Women of this Humour are al∣most always proud there, where the Complai∣sant are commonly humble: For, to describe a true Complaisance rightly, we must say 'tis nothing but a patient Civility, or a civil Charity. As the Love which Christianity teaches, endures all things; so the Complai∣sance of Morality, after a sort, does as much: although the Motives of these are different, in that the one proceeds from a Desire to please God, the other from a Desire to please Men. After all, we should find it no diffi∣cult thing to be complaisant, and to bear with the Infirmities and Imperfections of o∣thers, if we would but consider, that we do no more herein than what we often have need of for our selves. But this is the Unhappi∣ness

of some, that they can neither show Mercy to others, nor suffer that any others should do Justice to them, or use them as they herein do deserve.

Those Women that have not so much Com∣plaisance as to bear with the least Faults, have neither the Humility to endure that any one should reprove their greatest Crimes. They believe others will always abuse Reproof as themselves do; and that it will not be used to instruct, but to injure. They despise the Opi∣nion of all the World, and would have all Men adore theirs: They are as well Impa∣tient as Insolent; and have as much Vanity as Rudeness. And if at last either their Ig∣norance or the Evidence of Truth obliges them to consent, or hold their Peace, yet their Mien and Looks contradict still: and after that their Mouth has made a Peace, their silence still continues the War. What can there be more troublesome in Conversati∣on than this Humour? Certainly this Quar∣relsome Temper were much better in the Schools than in Conversation. I do not at all deny but we may some times reason and argue together, the better to find out truth; and that we may render Discourse the more agreeable by the diversity of the Subjects that are spoken upon: But yet there should be some fear and caution lest we be disordered or fall out: At least it should be always re∣membred that Dispute in Conversation is a

War where we ought not to combate with Ob∣stinacy, nor to overcome with Insolence. Pro∣vided Complaisance be mingled with the Debates, there is nothing so agreeable, and there will no more injury be done by a Dispu∣tation of that sort, than two Persons would do by throwing Flowers at each other.

The same that have the Humour of Con∣tradicting, have also a perpetual Inclination to Correct, and reform all Matters: but they are as unprofitable as troublesome; they know not how to testifie a Good-will in their reproofs, no more than a good Spirit in their Disputes. All that which comes from their harsh Humour is displeasing; though they speak that which is true they do it so ungrace∣fully, that instead of making People good, they make them their Enemies. As soon as such Persons are seen they are distasted; af∣ter that we have an aversion for them, at last an abhorrence: they are generally the Objects either of Hatred or Laughter.

Complaisance succeeds much better, since as it commends without Flattery, so it re∣proves without Injury. This knows the Art of curing pleasantly, it takes from the Me∣dicine its bitterness without robbing it of its strength: It is a Sun that does not diminish his Light to make it the more tolerable to sore Eyes; it refrains from dazling with its Beams, but not from enlightning. If the Load-stone has not only the Vertue to attract

Iron, but also to show the Pole, Complaisance Charms the greatest Spirits, as well as the small ones.

It enlightens those that have Eyes, and at∣tracts those that have none; They who know and understand it see its force, they that do not, yet feel it. In truth, it has a secret Ver∣tue for the conquering of Hearts, it is a Load∣stone that draws even Iron, I mean the most Clownish and Barbarous.

It insensibly wins upon us even when it re∣proves: it does not fall with an impetuous vi∣olence like Hail, but as gently as Snow. Though the Snow be cold, yet it wraps up the Earth as in a Mantle of Wool (to which the Holy Ghost compares it) to the end it may cherish and keep warm the Seed that is in it. In like manner though Reproof be in it self somewhat disagreeing, yet it fails not to make good Designs and vertuous Undertakings bud and sprout in our Hearts. Complaisance obliges while it reprehends. And if this strikes it is but with a Rod of Roses; where it strikes it leaves a Flower instead of a Wound. Without this the best Advice seems but a Reproach; without it, Correction is Injurious, Praise is disagreeable, and Conver∣sation troublesome.

Complaisance is not a blind Vertue, it has Eyes as well as Hands, it does not strike blind∣fold: There are some faults it reproves, and some it bears with: it endures what it cannot

hinder and prevent. And in truth, excepting the brotherly Correction to which Christi∣anity obliges us, what matter is it to us if many Erre, or if they have ill Opinions, unless it be in matters of Conscience or that concern their Salvation? As we do not under∣take to heal all that are Sick, we are not bound to endeavour the undeceiving of all those that are in Error. We should have no less trouble and difficulty in becoming the Correctors of all the ill Opinions in the World, than if we should go about to heal all the Distempers that are in it. We have not this in charge, this care appertains to the Providence of God and not to us.

Besides what need is there that we should speak all our Sentiments, or make known every where all that which displeases or contents us? One that is wise ought well to consider always that which he says, but he is never bound to say all that he thinks. There is no need that for the avoiding of a lye, he should fall into Indiscretion. To be free, he does not need to be Uncivil; we do not injure Truth every time that we do not speak it. We are always forbidden to say that which is false, but we are not command∣ed to say always all that is true. There is no Law that obliges us to speak all our Sen∣timents, or to discover all our Thoughts

On the other side, this great liberty of speaking is not only-unjust or troublesome, but also dangerous; this Imprudent plainness pro∣vokes the most mild Persons, when the true Complaisance would soften the most rugged. Clytus lost the love of Alexander by speaking too freely. Scipio won the Heart of Syphax by having treated him with gentleness: The one by Complaisance preserved his Life in company of a Barbarian; the other by using an indiscreet freedom lost his by an intimate Friend. Daily experience affords us examples enough of this sort, so that we need not seek for them in the Histories of past Ages: we sufficiently find every day, that without Com∣plaisance, we become odious, and intolerable to all the World. Where there is no Com∣plaisance there can be no Civility, and with∣out these two lovely Qualities, Society cannot be but very troublesome. Especially let the Ladies observe, that as their Faces cannot please without Beauty, so neither can their Conversation without Complaisance.

BUT THAT WE may say what yet further concerns them: After we have seen how Complaisance ought to be practised, let us now take notice how they should receive it. Let us learn the difference there is between a Complaisant Person and a Flatterer, for fear the Ladies should take the one for the other. The Example of Panthea seems to me suffici∣ently famous to make a good Discovery of

this. This Lady was no less Modest than Fair; she despised praises as much she deserv'd them. Lucian describing the Perfections of her Wit and her Face, compared her to the Minerva of Phidias, and the Venus of Praxiteles. Panthea would not accept of the praises that seem'd to her excessive, nor endure that they should compare her to the Goddesses. Lucian to give an answer to this, and to justifie the Comparison he had made, shows, in a very few words, the difference that there is be∣tween the praises of an Orator and those of a Flatterer.

We ought not (says he) when we would praise a thing, to compare it to that which is below it, for this were to abate the merit of it: nor to that which is its equal, for that were to do no more than if it were compared with its self: But the Comparison ought to be made with something that is more excel∣lent, to the end that what we praise may have the more of brightness and lustre. A Hunter (says he) will not compare a good stout Dog to a Fox, when he would commend him, be∣cause this were too mean a Comparison; nor to a Wolf, because this is a thing too like him: but rather to a Lion who has more of Force and Courage. If Praises are without Foun∣dation they are Flatteries: If they are without Ornament, they are injurious. Those who can join Ornament with merit in doing this are just and allowable in what they do.

It were Flattery to praise one that is crooked for her fine Shapes, or one that is bald for the fine Hair she has. It may be seen ac∣cording to this reasoning of Lucian, That in praising what is little may be elevated to indifferent, and what is indifferent to excel∣lent. A commendation ought not to lye, but it may amplifie: It ought not to be prodigal, but may be liberal. There is a great dif∣ference between a meer History and a Panegy∣rick; it is not enough for this latter that it do barely describe, but it ought likewise to car∣ry in it some Ornament and Pomp.

The Ladies may judge from hence that there is more difference between praising and flattering, than there is between dressing and painting the Face. We may plainly see in the example of this Orator, how praises ought to be given; and in the example of that Lady we may see how they should be received. Lu∣cian shows that he understood well the Laws of his Rhetorick, and Panthea testified, That she was not ignorant of those of Decency and Modesty. I grant there are very few that like her do make a Conscience of receiving the praises that are given them, though they be entirely excessive. I know that the vanity of many is no less Sacrilegious than Sawcy, when they receive from their Idolaters the names of Angels and Divinities without any Scruple: I know too, and grant that there is more occasion to exhort to restraint than to

liberty in this matter. Nevertheless they ought to consider that they must not vio∣late the Laws of Decency in observing those of Modesty. It is necessary that Prudence should show them a certain way between In∣solence and Incivility. If Christianity does oblige them to despise all sorts of praises and even those that are most just, nevertheless it is convenient sometimes that Complaisance do approve these praises in the Countenance, even when Humility does despise them in the Soul. Herein they owe always their Con∣science to God, and sometimes their Mien to the World and Custom.

But to finish this Discourse on that part which is of greatest importance: If they per∣ceive themselves moved with the praises that are given them, they have no more to do but to look into themselves, that so they may find a remedy for this in their own Conscience. As we are the less afflicted when we know the ill imputed to us to be false; so we shall be the less proud for our Commendations, when we find that the good ascribed to us is not truly in us. We must therefore defend our selves from Flattery as from Slander, by the knowledge of our selves. For as Conscience may comfort us against false accusations by showing us our Innocence: so it may humble us, while we are flattered, by showing us our Defects. And if it be not enough for this purpose to consider our own Imperfections,

let us consider moreover how much Treachery and Deceit there is in others! How much Falshood there is mingled with the Affairs of the World! They who have the looks of ad∣mirers, have sometimes the Hearts of Mur∣derers; oftentimes they who praise us in their Discourse, disparage us in their Thoughts.

The Ladies, like the Eurydice of the Poets, are liable to find Serpents under the Flowers; As their Sex is carried naturally to Gentleness, their Enemies put Poison in what they love, and lay Snares where they are sure they will pass. The Flatterers would do them less harm, if they would take more heed to the Designs of such Men than to their Discourses: They would the better know those who dis∣guise the truth if they would represent to themselves that there are three Conditions necessary to the speaking well; that there must be Resolution, Prudence, and Friendship. When Resolution is wanting, they will palli∣ate and dawb: when Prudence and Amity are absent, they are Injurious. The Cowardly Spirits dare not speak; the Imprudent know not how to do it; and Enemies will not. Lastly, That they may give and receive Com∣plaisance the more Innocently, she that is wise must consider, that this is in all those cases forbidden, wherein we have more care to please Men than God. It ought to be consi∣der'd, that oftentimes the Righteous God condemns those Actions that Men praise;

and that he who entertains Flatterers to exalt and puff him up, while God threatens him in this World, shall not have them to defend him when God shall condemn him in the o∣ther.