The comical revenge, or, Love in a tub acted at His Highness the Duke of York's Theatre in Lincolns-Inn-Fields.
Etherege, George, Sir, 1635?-1691.
Page 39
SCEN. V.
Scene, A Field.
Enter Wheadle and Cully.
Cully.
Dear Wheadle, this is too dangerous a testimony
Of thy kindness.
Whead.
I shou'd be angry with you if you thought so:
What makes you so serious?
Cul.
I am sorry I did not provide for both our safeties.
Whead.
How so?
Cul.
Colonel Hewson is my neighbour, and very good
Friend; I might have acquainted him with
The business, and got him with a File of
Musketiers to secure us all.
Whead.
But this wou'd not secure your Honour.
What wou'd the world have judg'd?
Cul.
Let the world have judg'd what it wou'd: Have
We not had many presidents of late, and
The world knows not what to judge?
Whead.
But you see there was no need to hazard
Your Reputation; here's no enemy appears.
Cul.
We have done our duty, let's be going then.
Whea.
We ought to waite a while.
Cul.
The ayre is so bleak, I vow I can no longer
Endure it.
Whea.
Have a little patience, methinks I see two
Making towards us
In the next Close.
Cul.
Where, where? 'tis them.
Whead.
Bear up bravely now like a man.
Cul.
I protest I am the worst dissembler
In cases of this nature.
Whead.
Alon; look like a man of resolution.
Whither, whither go you?
Page 40
Cul.
But to the next house to make my Will,
For fear of the worst; tell them I'le be here
Again presently.
Whead.
By no means; if you give 'em the least occasion
To suspect you, they' I appear like Lions.
Cul.
Well, 'tis but giving security for the money;
That will bring me off at last.
Enter Palmer and his Second.
Palm.
I see you ride the Fore-horse, Gentlemen.
All strip but Cully, who fumbles with his Doublet.
Whead.
Good-morrow, Sir.
Sec.
Come, Sir, let us match the swords.
To Wheadle.
Whead.
With all my heart.
They match the Swords.
Palmer Sings.
He had and a good right Bilbo blade,
Wherewith he us'd to vapour;
Full many a stubborn Foe had made
To wince and cut a caper.
Sec.
Here's your Sword, Sir.
To Palmer.
Palm.
Come, Sir, are you ready for this sport?
To Cully.
Cul.
By and by, Sir; I will not rend the buttons from my
Doublet for no mans pleasure.
Whead.
Death, y'ave spoil'd all; make haste.
Cul.
Hang 'em, the Devil eggs 'em on; they will fight.
Palm.
What, will you never have done fumbling?
Sec.
This is a shame; fight him with his Doublet on;
There's no foul play under it.
Palm.
Come, Sir, have at you.
Making to Cully.
Sec.
Here, here, Sir.
To Wheadle.
Whead.
I am for you, Sir.
Wheadle and the Second seem to fight.
Whead.
What's the matter?
Cul.
My Conscience will not let me fight in a wrong
Cause; I will pay the money, I have fairly lost it.
Whead.
How contemptible is man, overcome by the worst of
Passions, Fear! it makes him as much below Beasts
As Reason raises him above them. I will my self
Fight you both; Come on, if you dare.—
Cul.
Prethee, dear Wheadle, do but hear me.
Whead.
I disown all the kindness I ever had for you:
Where are these men of valour, which owe their
Virtue to this man's Vice? let me go, I will chastise
Their insolence my self.
Cully holds him.
Cul.
Dear Wheadle, bear with the frailties of
Thy Friend.
Whead.
Death, what wou'd you have me do? can I serve
You with any thing more dear then my life?
Cul.
Let us give them security.
Whead.
Do you know what it is you wou'd do? have you consider'd
What a thousand Pounds is? 'tis a Fortune for any one man.
Cul.
I will pay it all; thou shalt be no loser.
Whead.
Do you hear, Shepherd? how do you expect
This money?
Palm.
I expect such security for it as my friend shall advise.
Sec.
A Warrant to confess a Judgment from you both.
Whead.
You shall be damn'd first; you shall
Have nothing.
Palm. and Sec.
We'l have your bloods.
They proffer to fight; Cully holds Wheadle.
Whead.
Let me go.
Cul.
Dear Wheadle, let it be so. You shall
Have a Judgment, Gentlemen.
Whead.
I will take care hereafter with whom I engage.
The Second pulls papers out of his pocket
What? you have your tackling about you.
Whea.
Dispatch, dispatch then, put me to no more
Torment with delays.
Sec.
Come Sr Nicholas to the Book; you see we are favourable,
We grant you the benefit of your Clergy.—Your
Cully subscribes on Palmer's back, and then Wheadle.
Helping hand, good Mr Wheadle, to finish the work.
Whead.
Take that into the bargain.
Kicks him.
Palm.
You shall have another, if you please, at the price.
Sec.
We seldom quarrel under a thousand pounds.
Palm. and Sec.
We wish you merry, Gentlemen.
Palmer Sings.
Come, let's to the Tavern scape,
And drink whilst we can stand;
We thirst more for the blood o'th' Grape
Then for the blood of man.
Exeunt Palmer and Second.
Whead.
Do you see now what men of mighty prowess
These are?
Cul.
I was to blame, indeed.
Whead.
I am in such a passion I know not what
To do: Let us not stand gazing here;
I wou'd not have this known for a Kingdom.
Cul.
No, nor I neither.
Exeunt.
