The comical revenge, or, Love in a tub acted at His Highness the Duke of York's Theatre in Lincolns-Inn-Fields.

SCEN. III.

Scene, Wheadle's Lodging.

Enter Wheadle and Palmer.

Whe.

Come, bear thy losses patiently.

Palm.

A pox confound all Ordinaries, If ever I play in an Ordinary agen—

Bites his thumb.

Whead.

Thou'lt lose thy money: Thou hast no power to forbear; I will as soon undertake to reclaim A Horse from a hitch he has learn'd in his pace,

Or an old Mastive from worrying of Sheep.

Palm.

Ay, ay, there is nothing can do it but hemp.

Whead.

Want of money may do much.

Palm.

I protest I had rather still be vicious Then owe my Virtue to Necessity. How commendable is chastity in an Eunuch? I am grown more then half virtuous of late: I have laid the dangerous Pad now quite aside; I walk within the Purlieus of the Law. Could I but leave this Ordinary, this Square, I were the most accomplish'd man in Town.

Whead.

'Tis pity thou art Master of thy Art; Such a nimble hand, such neat conveyance.

Palm.

Nay, I should have made an excellent Jugler, 'faith.

Whead.

Come, be chearful, I've lodg'd a Deer shall make amends for all; I lack'd a man to help me set my Toyls, And thou art come most happily.

Palm.

My dear Wheadle, who is it?

Whead.

My new Friend And Patron Sir Nicholas Cully.

Palm.

He's fat, and will say well, I promise you. Well, I'le do his business most dextrously, Else let me ever lose the honour Of serving a Friend in the like nature.

Whead.

No more words, but haste, prepare for the design; Habit your self like a good thrifty Country-man; Get Tools, Dice, and Money for the purpose, And meet me at the Devil about three exactly.

Enter Boy.

Boy.

Sir, S^r Nicholas Cully is without.

Whead.

Desire him to walk in. Here Palmer, the back-way, quickly, and be sure—

Palm.

Enough, enough, I'le warrant thee.

Ex. Palm.

Enter Sir Nicholas Cully.

Whead.

Sir Nicholas, this Visit is too great a favour; I intended one to you; how do you Find your self this morning?

Cul.

Faith much the dryer for the last nights wetting.

Whead.

Like thirsty earth, which gapes the more For a small showre; we'l soak you Throughly to day.

Cul.

Excuse me, faith I am engag'd.

Whead.

I am sorry for't; I meant you a share in my good fortune; But since it cannot be—

Cul.

What? what good fortune?

Whead.

Nay, 'twill but vex you to know it, Since you have not leasure to pursue it.

Cul.

Dear Wheadle, prethee tell me.

Whead.

Now do I want power to keep it from you. Just as you came in at that door, went Out at this a Waiting-Gentlewoman, Sent with a civil Message from her Lady, To desire the happiness of my Company This afternoon, where I should have the Opportunity of seeing another lovely brisk Woman, newly married to a foolish Citizen, who will be apt enough to hear Reason from one that can speak it better then Her Husband: I return'd my humble Thanks for the honour she did me, and that I could not do my self so great an injury To disobey her will; this is Th' adventure; But since y'ave bus'ness—

Cul.

A pox on bus'ness, I'le defer't.

Whead.

By no means for a silly Woman; our Pleasures Must be slaves to our Affairs.

Cul.

Were it to take possession of an

Estate, I'd neglect it. Are the Ladies Cavaliers?

Whea.

Oh, most Loyal-hearted Ladies!

Cul.

How merry will we be then!

Whead.

I say, mind your bus'ness.

Cul.

I'le go and put it off immediately. Where shall I meet you in the afternoon?

Whead.

You'l find me at the Devil about three A clock, where I expect a second summons as She passes toward the City.

Cul.

Thither will I come without fail; be sure You wait for me.

Exit Cully.

Whead.

Wait for thee, as a Cat does for a Mouse She intends to play with, and then prey upon. How eagerly did this half-witted fellow chap Up the bait? like a ravenous Fish, that will Not give the Angler leave to sink his Line, But greedily darts up and meets it half way.

Ex. laughing.