OH Gadsbud! Were ever poor Intriguers so used? all my bones are out of joynt, and lye as if they were no kin to one another. 'Tis well 'tis a calm morning, for a little pus•of wind would certainly shake me to pieces.

'Sdeath - have I us'd Intrigues so long, know all the quirks and quiddits from the Maid to the Matron; and at last live to be whipt, and toss'd in a Blanket?

Ay, here's fortune you know Sir —here's fortune! You'd forgive all your past ill Chance for this happy hour—Well, I shall be hang'd; I am certain on't—your damn'd luck will never leave me but at the Gallows?

Sirrah! leave Condoling— now 'tis unnecessary, and let us plot how to repay this affront; Olivia, as I was just now in∣form'd by her Woman, was not at all accessary—This was her Husbands revenge, who it seems dogg'd her Messenger—but how should we know that I was concern'd?

Your old friend the Devil, no doubt gave him some pri∣vate intelligence—and if the Truth were known, assistant too— For the Rogues were shap'd like Furies. And bless us! who knows but they might really be so?

By their unmerciful usage of us, 'tis true, we might guess 'em Furies — I am sure the greatest Devil in Hell, could not use me worse.

They mounted me into the Air like a Cat—I was halfe an hour a falling—besides, my Sex is chang'd, I shall never be my own man agen whilst I live, nor my Wives neither—There's my s•rrow

My Sex I think is not chang'd yet— but by yo• Sky I'll have •t chang'd with all the speed I can. I'll cross my luck one way or other, I am resolv'd on't—Come sirrah we'll to the Tavern. a brisk bottle will ripen ou• Wits for Invention, I can get that upon Tick.

To the Tavern• ay, we are in two pretty decent habits to go to the Tavern in, are we not? Ounds! how I could cursethat Quean Fortune, for putting this affront upon the top of my Fan•ily— To th' Tavern quotha? Why we shall be taken for some of the Wild Irish that come to pilfer and steal, and so sing the Second part to the same Tune, Of Beating and Kicking —

Faith it may be so—hush, I think here's a man coming out of a House.

A man! Pray Heav'n it is not the Beadle.

Sir Frollick Whimsey by heav'n, but 'tis imp•ssible he should know me in this garbe, and if he questions me, I'll counterfeit an Irish man, and gabble in that Language.

Is there no Law for Corruptions in these Cases? shall a Rascal presume to cuckold me, and shall not I presume to have his Life or his Money? give me the Rascal, I'm resolv'd on't—how now? What are these that sneak about my door at this time of the morning? What are you sirrah? hah—

Aw Cram-a-cree—ee be a pauvre honest Irish-man, and Chris shall save thy good face.

'Sbud what shall I do now? for the devil a language can I speak but Pedlars-French.—

An Irish-man — a Ras•al I believe—And you there sir∣rah, what Countreyman are you?

Mo gortogal agi agan aga Highi Lagand Dugutch magan.

A Dutchman, a Thief I believe, both Thieves as gad save me, and come to rob my house.

Oh-hone—a Tee•, a got pless thy sheet coontenance, ee ne'r was Teef in Englands, o my saul Joy, eet vas in Irelands, and Teef is very fine Trade there.

Thegeef, thogou lygyst igin thygy throgote.

What does the Rascal call me goat?

Will-a-loo, oh hone, o hone; 'sdeath what shall I do now? Page  39 this is worst of all, for if he dis•overs me, I shall be whipt to death.

Ay▪ ay, here's fortune too Sir, here's fortune; oh▪

Sirrah stand there, and hi•der 'um from running; hoa, will no body hear me?

What is't I see! Beauford, and in this strange ridiculous dis∣guise— ha ha ha—

The Devil, this damn'd Jilt will discover me.

Ha ha ha! what can this mean? here has some damnable chance happen'd to him, and his Signs are to let me know he wants my help, ha ha ha, lord how he looks! Come prethee my dear, let the poor fellows goe this once, do not defer revenging my injuries by staying to punish these Creatures; 'tis true, they look like very lewd scur•y Rascals, especially, that tall fellow there in the Blanket▪ but come, for my sake let um escape.

I will deny thee nothing; go get ye gone ye Curs, and thank this Lady—ye had been swing'd else—and now to my other business, I'll not sleep till I am reveng'd of this rascal Beauford, what e're it cost me.

Oh the D•vil go with him, what a fright have I been in!

What here still—in my life I never saw two such impu∣dent creatures.

Nay Madam, will you not know your poor se•vant?

Ha, ha, ha! Am I company for the wild Irish? are vagabonds fit to be of my acquaintance?

No Madam, but a friend in Masquerade I hope may.

Masquerade! I swear this is one of the newest Masquerading Habits that I ever saw, but I suppose 'tis pertinent to your Intrigue Sir, and doubtless there is some trick in't.

Trick, ay, a damnable one too, if you knew all

Thieves, and a dozen of 'um? —

Thirteen by this ••ight; I beat a dozen of 'um my self.

Did you? Why who could rob you then?

A damn'd lying rogue, he beat 'um —he was bound, and thrown into a Ditch, and had not I helpt him out h•d been smother'd, ••rrah, not a word more for your life; I wonder for my part we were not both kill'd.

And so do I too faith.

But come set your wit at work, and contrive some way tha• I may be rid of my Mantle de la guer▪ here▪ and then I am wholly devoted yours.

For your man I have a habit, but I swear I know not how to contrive for you, unless you will make shift with that my Brother, a Rushia Merchant left with me, when he went to Sea.

Pox, any thing rather than this Blanket, let's see't,

Come in th•n softly.

Ay, ay, come, that I may get rid of my Parliament-Robes too▪ sbud I hope this garb will come in fashion e're long, there's many as ridiculous, that has —

Now prosperous Fortune, if ever thou wert indulgent to an injur'd Woman, assist me, and if there▪ be a subtilty natural to ou• Sex, that's capable of revenging wrongs, Husband be sure of the •f∣fects — I've now a double Cause, my own and Beauford's — who has had but a scurvy return for the service he intended; come Si∣ster give me the Vizard.

What will my Brother think when he comes home, and finds you have deserted his house?

No doubt but he'll be embrac'd betwixt hope and fear, but my firm resolution makes me negligent of that, 'tis only the loss of my company, can make him sensible of the blessing of it; for the value of a Wife, as of all good things else, is best known by its want. For if once there be a neglect in Love, the gordian knot of Wedlock, will so stretch and slacken, that 'tis ten to one but a witty Adventurer may easily undoe it, to tye a faster in its stead; this was Beaufords opinion, who I think has now sufficiently paid for it— but I'm tar∣dy Sister, but no more of this now, be sure to keep council, and ex∣pect the happy result of all— farewel.

What a mad fellow is this Beauford? wild as a storm, rash, and inconsiderate, and yet I know not what ails me, ever since I saw him yesterday in the Walks—he has been continually in my thoughts; methinks his vices too look less ugly in him than in another: pray heaven these pleasing thoughts breed no heart burnings: he's hand∣some, and I have folly enough to love a worse face—'tis but ventu∣ring, if I am snar'd, I'll silently mourn my fate in some dogril Ditty, and get out of the Labyrinth as well as I can.