Page [unnumbered]Page [unnumbered]THE
SPANISH
FRYAR
OR,
The Double Discovery.
Acted at the
Duke's Theatre.
Vt melius possis fallere, sume togam.—
Ma.
—Alterna revisens
Lusit, & in solido rursus fortuna locavit.
Vir.
Written by Iohn Dryden, Servant to
His MAJESTY.
LONDON,
Printed for Richard Tonson and Iacob Tonson, at Grays-inn-gate,
in Grays-inn-lane, and at the Iudge's-Head, in Chancery-lane, 1681.
Page [unnumbered]Page [unnumbered]TO
The Right Honourable
JOHN
LORD HAVGHTON.
WHEN I first design'd this Play I found or thought
I found somewhat so moving in the serious part
of it, and so pleasant in the Comick, as might
deserve a more than ordinary Care in both: Ac∣cordingly
I us'd the best of my endeavour,
in the management of two Plots, so very different from each other,
that it was not perhaps the Tallent of every Writer, to have made
them of a piece. Neither have I attempted other Playes of the
same nature, in my opinion, with the same Iudgment; though with
like success. And though many Poets may suspect themselves for
the fondness and partiality of Parents to their youngest Children, yet
I hope I may stand exempted from this Rule, because I know my self
too well to be ever satisfied with my own Conceptions, which have
seldom reach'd to those Idea's that I had within me: and conse∣quently,
I presume I may have liberty to judge when I write more
or less pardonably, as an ordinary Markes-man may know certainly
when he shoots less wide at what he aymes. Besides, the Care and
Pains I have bestowed on this beyond my other Tragi-comedies may
reasonably make the World conclude, that either I can doe no∣thing
tolerably, or that this Poem is not much amiss. Few good
Pictures have been finish'd at one sitting; neither can a true just
Play, which is to bear the Test of Ages, be produc'd at a heat, or
by the force of fancie, without the maturity of judgment. For
my own part, I have both so just a Diffidence of my self, and
so great a Reverence for my Audience, that I dare venture no∣thing
Page [unnumbered]
without a strict Examination; and am as much asham'd to
put a loose indigested Play upon the Publick, as I should be to of∣fer
brass money in a Payment: For though it shou'd be taken, (as
it is too often on the Stage,) yet it will be found in the second tel∣ling:
And a judicious Reader will discover in his Closset that trashy
stuffe, whose glittering deceiv'd him in the action. I have often
heard the Stationer sighing in his shop, and wishing for those hands
to take off his melancholy bargain which clapp'd its Performance
on the Stage. In a Play-house every thing contributes to impose
upon the Iudgment; the Lights, the Scenes, the Habits, and,
above all, the Grace of Action, which is commonly the best where
there is the most need of it, surprize the Audience, and cast a
mist upon their Vnderstandings; not unlike the cunning of a Iug∣gler,
who is always staring us in the face, and overwhelming us
with gibberish, onely that he may gain the opportunity of making
the cleaner conveyance of his Trick. But these false Beauties of
the Stage are no more lasting than a Rainbow; when the Actor
ceases to shine upon them, when he guilds them no longer with his
reflection, they vanish in a twinkling. I have sometimes wonder'd,
in the reading, what was become of those glaring Colours which a∣maz'd
me in Bussy Damboys upon the Theatre: but when I had
taken up what I suppos'd, a fallen Star, I found I had been co∣zen'd
with a Ielly: nothing but a cold dull mass, which glitter'd
no longer than it was shooting: A dwarfish thought dress'd up in
gigantick words, repetition in aboundance, looseness of expression,
and gross Hyperboles; the Sense of one line expanded prodigiously
into ten: and, to sum up all, uncorrect English, and a hideous mingle
of false Poetry and true Nonsense; or, at best, a scantling of wit
which lay gasping for life, and groaning beneath a Heap of Rubbish.
A famous modern Poet us'd to sacrifice every year a Statius to Vir∣gil's
Manes: and I have Indignation enough to burn a D'amboys
annually to the memory of Johnson. But now, My Lord, I am
sensible, perhaps too late, that I have gone too far: for I remem∣ber
some Verses of my own Maximin and Almanzor which cry, Ven∣geance
upon me for their Extravagance, and which I wish heartily
in the same fire with Statius and Chapman: All I can say for
those passages, which are I hope not many, is, that I knew they were
bad enough to please, even when I writ them: But I repent of them
amongst my Sins: and if any of their fellows intrude by chance into
my present Writings, I draw a stroke over all those Dalilahs of
Page [unnumbered]
the Theatre; and am resolv'd I will settle my self no reputation by
the applause of fools. 'Tis not that I am mortified to all ambition,
but I scorn as much to take it from half-witted Iudges, as I shou'd
to raise an Estate by cheating of Bubbles. Neither do I discom∣mend
the lofty style in Tragedy which is naturally pompous and mag∣nificent:
but nothing is truly sublime that is not just and proper.
If the Ancients had judg'd by the same measures which a common
Reader takes, they had concluded Statius to have written higher
than Virgil: for,
Quae superimposito moles geminata Colosso,
carries a more thundring kind of sound than,
Tityre tu patulae recubans sub tegmine fagi:
Yet
Virgil had all the Majesty of a lawfull Prince; and
Statius one∣ly
the blustring of a Tyrant. But when men affect a Vertue which
they cannot reach, they fall into a Vice, which bears the nearest
resemblance to it. Thus an injudicious Poet who aims at Loftiness
runs easily into the swelling puffie style, because it looks like Great∣ness.
I remember, when I was a Boy, I thought inimitable
Spencer
a mean Poet in comparison of
Sylvester's
Dubartas: and was rapt
into an ecstasie when I read these lines:
Now, when the Winter's keener breath began
To Chrystallize the Baltick Ocean;
To glaze the Lakes, to bridle up the Floods,
And periwig with Snow the bald pate Woods:
I am much deceiv'd if this be not abominable fustian, that is,
thoughts and words ill sorted, and without the least relation to
each other: yet I dare not answer for an Audience, that they wou'd
not clap it on the Stage: so little value there is to be given to the
common cry, that nothing but Madness can please Mad-men, and a
Poet must be of a piece with the Spectators, to gain a reputation
with them. But, as in a room, contriv'd for State, the height
of the roof shou'd bear a proportion to the Area; so, in the Height∣nings
of Poetry, the strength and vehemence of Figures shou'd be
suited to the Occasion, the Subject, and the Persons. All beyond
this is monstrous; 'tis out of nature, 'tis an excrescence, and not a
living part of Poetry. I had not said thus much, if some young
Gallants, who pretend to Criticism, had not told me that this Tra∣gi-comedy
wanted the dignity of style: but as a man who is charg'd▪
with a Crime of which he thinks himself innocent, is apt to be too
eager in his own defence, so perhaps I have vindicated my Play
Page [unnumbered]
with more partiality than I ought, or than such a trifle can deserve.
Yet, whatever beauties it may want, 'tis free at least from the
grosness of those faults I mention'd: What Credit it has gain'd
upon the Stage, I value no farther than in reference to my Profit,
and the satisfaction I had in seeing it represented with all the justness
and gracefulness of Action. But as 'tis my Interest to please my Au∣dience,
so 'tis my Ambition to be read; that I am sure is the more
lasting and the nobler Design: for the propriety of thoughts and
words, which are the hidden beauties of a Play, are but confus'dly
judg'd in the vehemence of Action: All things are there beheld, as
in a hasty motion, where the objects onely glide before the Eye and
disappear. The most discerning Critick can judge no more of these
silent graces in the Action, than he who rides Post through an un∣known
Countrey can distinguish the scituation of places, and the na∣ture
of the soyle. The purity of phrase, the clearness of concepti∣on
and expression, the boldness maintain'd to Majesty, the significan∣cie
and sound of words, not strain'd into bombast, but justly eleva∣ted,
in short, those very words and thoughts which cannot be
chang'd but for the worse, must of necessity escape our transient view
upon the Theatre: and yet without all these a Play may take. For
if either the Story move us, or the Actor help the lameness of it
with his performance, or now and then a glittering beam of wit or
passion strike through the obscurity of the Poem, any of these are suf∣ficient
to effect a present liking, but not to fix a lasting admiration;
for nothing but Truth can long continue; and Time is the surest
Iudge of Truth. I am not vain enough to think I have left no faults
in this, which that touchstone will not discover; neither indeed is it
possible to avoid them in a Play of this nature. There are evident∣ly
two Actions in it: But it will be clear to any judicious man, that
with half the pains I could have rais'd a Play from either of them:
for this time I satisfied my own humour, which was to tack two
Plays together; and to break a rule for the pleasure of variety. The
truth is, the Audience are grown weary of continu'd melancholy Scenes:
and I dare venture to prophesie, that few Tragedies except those in
Verse shall succeed in this Age, if they are not lighten'd with a course of
mirth. For the Feast is too dull and solemn without the Fiddles. But
how difficult a task this is, will soon be try'd: for a several Genius is
requir'd to either way; and without both of 'em, a man, in my opinion,
is but half a Poet for the Stage. Neither is it so trivial an underta∣king,
to make a Tragedy end happily; for 'tis more difficult to save
Page [unnumbered]
than 'tis to kill. The Dagger and the Cup of Poison are alwaies in
a readiness; but to bring the Action to the last extremity, and then
by probable means to recover all, will require the Art and Iudg∣ment
of a Writer; and cost him many a pang in the performance.
And now, My Lord, I must confess that what I have written
looks more like a Preface than a Dedication; and truly it was thus
far my design, that I might entertain you with somewhat in my own
Art which might be more worthy of a noble mind, than the stale
exploded Trick of fulsome Panegyricks. 'Tis difficult to write justly
on any thing, but almost impossible in Praise. I shall therefore
wave so nice a subject; and onely tell you, that in recommending a
Protestant Play to a Protestant Patron, as I doe my self an Honour,
so I do your Noble Family a right, who have been alwaies eminent in
the support and favour of our Religion and Liberties. And if the
promises of your Youth, your Education at home, and your Experience
abroad, deceive me not, the Principles you have embrac'd are such as
will no way degenerate from your Ancestors, but refresh their memory
in the minds of all true English-men, and renew their lustre in your
Person; which, My Lord, is not more the wish than it is the constant
expectation of
your Lordship's Most obedient, faithfull Servant, Iohn Dryden.
Page [unnumbered]PROLOGUE.
NOW Luck for us, and a kind hearty Pit;
For he who pleases, never failes of Wit:
Honour is yours:
And you, like Kings, at City Treats bestow it;
The Writer kneels, and is bid rise a Poet:
But you are fickle Sovereigns, to our Sorrow,
You dubb to day, and hang a man to morrow;
You cry the same Sense up, and down again,
Iust like brass mony once a year in Spain:
Take you i'th' mood, what e'er base metal come,
You coin as fast as Groats at Bromingam:
Though 'tis no more like Sense in ancient Plays,
Than Rome's Religion like St. Peter's days.
In short, so swift your Iudgments turn and wind,
You cast our fleetest Wits a mile behind.
'Twere well your Iudgments but in Plays did range,
But ev'n your Follies and Debauches change
With such a Whirl, the Poets of your age
Are tyr'd, and cannot score 'em on the Stage,
Vnless each Vice in short-hand they indite,
Ev'n as notcht Prentices whole Sermons write.
The heavy Hollanders no Vices know
But what they us'd a hundred years ago,
Like honest Plants, where they were stuck, they grow;
They cheat, but still from cheating Sires they come;
They drink, but they were christ'ned first in Mum.
Their patrimonial Sloth the Spaniards keep,
And Philip first taught Philip how to sleep.
The French and we still change, but here's the Curse,
They change for better, and we change for worse;
They take up our old trade of Conquering,
And we are taking theirs, to dance and sing:
Our Fathers did for change to France repair,
And they for change will try our English Air.
As Children, when they throw one Toy away,
Strait a more foolish Gugaw comes in play:
So we, grown penitent, on serious thinking,
Leave Whoring, and devoutly fall to Drinking.
Now we set up for Tilting in the Pit▪
Where 'tis agreed by Bullies, chicken-hearted,
To fright the Ladies first, and then be parted.
A fair Attempt has twice or thrice been made,
To hire Night-murth'rers, and make Death a Trade.
When Murther's out, what Vice can we advance?
Vnless the new found Pois'ning Trick of France:
And when their Art of Rats-bane we have got,
By way of thanks, we'll send 'em o'er our Plot▪
Page [unnumbered]Dramatis Personae.
- Leonora, Queen of Arragon, Mrs. Barry.
- Teresa, Woman to Leonora, Mrs. Crofts.
- Elvira, Wife to Gomez, Mrs. Betterton.
- Torrismond, Mr. Betterton.
- Bertran, Mr. Williams.
- Alphonso, Mr. Wilisheir.
- Lorenzo, his Son, Mr. Smith.
- Raymond, Mr. Gillow.
- Pedro, Mr. Vnderhill.
- Gomez, Mr. Nokes.
- Dominic, the Spanish Fryar, Mr. Lee.
Page 1THE
SPANISH FRYAR:
OR, THE
Double Discovery.
ACT I.
Alphonso, Pedro meet, with Souldiers on each side,
Drums, &c.
Alph.
STand: give the Word.
Pedro.
The Queen of Arragon.
Alph.
Pedro?—how goes the night?
Alph.
Then welcom day-light: We shall have warm
work on't:
The Moore will 'gage
His utmost Forces on this next Assault,
To win a Queen and Kingdom.
Pedro,
Pox o'this Lyon-way of wooing though:
Is the Queen stirring yet?
Alph.
She has not been abed: but in her Chapel
All night devoutly watch'd: and brib'd the Saints
With Vows for her Deliverance.
• Pedro,
O, Alphonso,
Page 2
I fear they come too late! her Father's crimes
Sit heavy on her; and weigh down her prayers:
A Crown usurp'd; a lawfull King depos'd;
In bondage held; debarr'd the common light;
His Children murther'd, and his Friends destroy'd:
What can we le•s expect then what we feel,
And what we fear will follow?
Pedro,
Then Heav'n must not be Heav'n: Judge the event
By what has pass'd: Th' Usurper joy'd not long
His ill-got Crown! 'Tis true, he dy'd in peace:
Unriddle that ye Pow'rs: But left his Daughter,
Our present Queen, ingag'd, upon his death-bed,
To marry with young Bertran, whose curs'd Father
Had help'd to make him great.
Hence, you well know, this fatal War arose;
Because the Moore, Abdalla, with whose Troops
Th' Usurper gain'd the Kingdom, was refus'd;
And, as an Infidel, his Love despis'd.
Alph.
Well; we are Souldiers, Ped•o: and, like Lawyers,
Plead for our Pay.
Pedro,
A good Cause wou'd doe well though:
It gives my Sword and Edge: You see this Bertran
Has now three times been beaten by the Moores:
What hope we have, is in young Torrismond,
Your brother's Son.
Alph.
He's a succe•sfull Warriour,
And has the Souldiers hearts: Upon the skirts
Of Arragon, our squander'd Troops he rallies:
Our Watchmen, from the Tow'rs, with longing Eyes
Expect his swift Arrival.
Pedro,
It must be swift, or it will come too late.
Alph.
No more:—Duke Bertran.
[Enter Bertran▪ attended.
Bertr.
Relieve the Ce•t'rys that have watch'd all night.
To Ped. Now, Collonel, have you dispos'd your men,
That you stand idle her•?
Pedro,
Mine are drawn off,
To take a short repose.
Bertr.
Short let it be▪
Page 3
For, from the
Moorish Camp, this hour and more,
There has been heard a distant humming noise,
Like Bees disturb'd, and arming in their hives.
What Courage in our Souldiers? Speak! What hope?
Pedro,
As much as when Physicians shake their heads,
And bid their dying Patient think of Heav'n.
Our Walls are thinly mann'd: our best Men slain:
The rest, an heartless number, spent with Watching,
And harass'd out with Duty.
Bertran,
Good-night all then.
Pedro,
Nay, for my part, 'tis but a single life
I have to lose: I'll plant my Colours down
In the mid-breach, and by 'em fix my foot:
Say a short Souldier's Pray'r, to spare the trouble
Of my few Friends above: and then expect
The next fair Bullet.
Alph.
Never was known a night of such distraction:
Noise so confus'd and dreadfull: Justling Crowds,
That run, and know not whither: Torches gliding,
Like Meteors, by each other in the streets.
Pedro,
I met a reverend, fat, old, gouty Fryar;
With a Paunch swoln so high, his double Chin
Might rest upon't: A true Son of the Church;
Fresh colour'd, and well thriven on his Trade,
Come puffing with his greazy bald-pate Quire,
And fumbling o'er his Beads, in such an Agony,
He told 'em false for fear: About his Neck
There hung a Wench; the Labell of his Function;
Whom he shook off, i'faith, methought, unkindly.
It seems the holy Stallion durst not score
Another Sin before he left the world.
[Enter a Captain.
Capt.
To Arms, My Lord, to Arms.
From the Moors Camp the noise grows louder still:
Rattling of Armour, Trumpets, Drums, and Ataballes;
And sometimes Peals of Shouts that rend the Heav'ns,
Like Victory: then Groans again, and Howlings,
Like those of vanquish'd men: But every Echo
Goes fainter off; and dyes in distant Sounds.
Bertran,
Some false Attaque: expect on t'other side:
Page 4
One to the Gunners on St.
Iago's Tow'r; Bid 'em, for shame,
Level their Cannon lower: On my Soul,
They 're all corrupted with the Gold of Barbary
To carry over, and not hurt the Moor.
[Enter second Captain.
2. Capt.
My Lord, here's fresh Intelligence arriv'd:
Our Army, led by Valiant Torrismond,
Is now in hot Engagement with the Moors;
'Tis said, within their Trenches.
Bertr.
I think all Fortune is reserv'd for him.
He might have sent us word though;
And then we cou'd have favour'd his Attempt
With Sallies from the Town.—
Alph.
It cou'd not be:
We were so close block'd up that none cou'd peepe
Upon the Walls and live: But yet 'tis time:—
Bertr.
No, 'tis too late; I will not hazard it:
On pain of Death, let no man dare to sally.
Pedr.
(aside)
Oh Envy, Envy, how it works within him!
How now! What means this Show?
Alph.
'Tis a Procession:
The Queen is going to the great Cathedral
To pray for our Success against the Moores.
Pedro,
Very good: She usurps the Throne; keeps the old king
in Prison; and, at the same time, is praying for a Blessing: Oh Re∣ligion
and Roguery, how they go together!
A Procession of Priests and Choristers in
white, with Tapers, follow'd by the Queen
and Ladies, goes over the Stage: the
Choristers singing.
Look down, ye bless'd above, look down,
Behold our weeping Matron's Tears,
Behold our tender Virgins Fears,
And with success our Armies crown.
Look down, ye bless'd above, look down:
Oh! save us, save us, and our State restore;
For Pitty, Pitty, Pitty, we implore;
For Pitty, Pitty, Pitty, we implore.
Page 5
The Procession goes off; and shout with∣in.
Then enter Lorenzo, who kneels to Al∣phonso.
Bertr.
to Alph.
A joyfull Cry: and see your Son
Lorenzo:Good news kind Heav'n!
Alph.
to Lorenzo,
O, welcome, welcome! Is the General safe?
How near our Army? When shall we be succour'd?
Or, Are we succour'd? Are the Moores remov'd?
Answer these Questions first; and then, a Thousand more:
Answer 'em all together.
Lorenzo,
Yes, when I have a thousand Tongues, I will▪
The General's well: His Army too is safe
As Victory can make 'em: The Moores King
Is safe enough, I warrant him, for one.
At dawn of day our General cle•t his Pate▪
Spight of his woollen Night-cap: A •light wound:
Perhaps he may recover.
Alphonso,
Thou reviv'st me.
Pedro,
By my computation now, the Victory was gain'd be∣fore
the Procession was made for it; and yet it will go hard▪ but
the Priests will make a Miracle on't.
Lorenzo,
Yes, Faith; we came like bold intruding Guests;
And took 'em unprepar'd to give us welcome:
Their Scouts we kill'd; then found their Body sleeping:
And as they lay confus'd, we stumbl'd o'er 'em;
And took what Joint came next; Arms, Heads, or Leggs;
Somewhat undecently: But when men want light
They make but bungling work.
Bertr.
I'll to the Queen,
And bear the News.
Pedro,
That's young Lorenzo's duty.
Bertr.
I'll spare his trouble.—
This Torrismond begins to grow too fast;
He must be mine, or ruin'd.
Aside.
(whisper.)
[Exit Bertran▪
Alph.
How swift he shot away! I find it stung him,
In spight of his dissembling.
To Lorenzo, How many of the Enemy are slain?
Page 6Lorenzo,
Troth, Sir, we were in hast; and cou'd not stay
To score the men we kill'd: But there they lye.
Best send our Women out to take the tale;
There's Circumcision in abundance for 'em.
[Turns to Pedro again.
Alph.
How far did you pursue 'em?
Lorenzo,
Some few miles.—
To Pedro, Good store of Harlots, say you, and dog•cheap?
Pedro,
They must be had; and speedily:
I 've kept a tedious Fast.
(Whisper again.)
Alph.
When will he make his Entry? He deserves
Such Triumphs as were giv'n by Ancient Rome:
Ha, Boy, What saiest thou?
Lorenzo,
As you say, Sir, That Rome was very ancient—
To Pedro, I leave the choice to you; Fair, Black, Tall, Low:
Let her but have a Nose:—and you may tell her
I'm rich in Jewels, Rings, and bobbing Pearls
Pluck'd from Moores ears.—
Lorenzo,
Somewhat busie
About Affairs relating to the publick.—
—A seasonable Girl, just in the nick now:—
[to Pedro.
[Trumpets within.
Pedro,
I hear the General's Trumpets: Stand, and mark
How he will be receiv'd; I fear, but coldly:
There hung a Cloud, methought, on Bertran's brow.
Lorenzo,
Then look to see a Storm on Torrismond's:
Looks fright not men: The General has seen Moores,
With as bad Faces; no dispraise to Bertran's.
Pedro,
'Twas rumour'd in the Camp, he loves the Queen.
Lorenzo,
He drinks her Health devoutly.
Alph.
That may breed bad bloud 'twixt him and Bertran.
Pedro,
Yes, in private:
But Bertran has been taught the Arts of Court,
To guild a Face with Smiles; and leer a man to ruin.
O here they come.—
Enter Torrismond and Officers on one side: Bertran attended on the other: they em∣brace; Bertran bowing low.
Just as I prophesy'd.—
Page 7Lorenzo,
Death and Hell, he laughs at him:—in's Face too.
Pedro,
O, you mistake him: 'Twas an humble Grin;
The fawning Joy of Courtiers and of Dogs.
Lorenzo,
(Aside)
Here are nothing but Lyes to be expected:
I'll e'en go lose my self in some blind Alley; and try if any cour∣teous
Damsel will think me worth the finding.
[Exit Lorenzo.
Alph.
Now he begins to open.
Bertran,
Your Country rescu'd, and your Queen reliev'd!
A glorious Conquest; Noble Torrismond!
The People rend the Skyes with loud Applause;
And Heav'n can hear no other Name but yours.
The thronging Crowds press on you as you pass;
And, with their eager Joy, make Triumph slow.
Torr.
My Lord, I have no taste
Of popular Applause; the noisie Praise
Of giddy Crowds, as changeable as Winds;
Still vehement, and still without a cause:
Servants to Chance; and blowing in the tyde
Of swoln Success; but, veering with its ebbe,
It leaves the channel dry.
Bertran,
So young a Stoick!
Torr.
You wrong me, if you think I'll •ell one drop
Within these Veins for Pageants: But let Honour
Call for my Bloud; and sluce it into streams;
Turn Fortune loose again to my pursuit;
And let me hunt her through embattell'd Foes,
In dusty Plains, amidst the Cannons roar,
There will I be the first.
Bert.
I'll try him farther—
(aside.)
Suppose th' assembled States of Arragon
Decree a Statue to you thus inscrib'd,
To Torrismond, who freed his native Land.
Alph.
to Pedro,
Mark how he sounds and fa
•homs him, to find
The shallows of his Soul!
Bertr.
The just Applause
Of God-like Senates, is the Stamp of Vertue,
Which makes it pass unquestion'd through the World:
These Honours you deserve; nor shall my suffrage
Be last to fix 'em on you: If refus'd,
You brand us all with black Ingratitude;
Page 8
For times to come shall say, Our
Spain, like
Rome,
Neglects her Champions, after Noble Acts,
And lets their Laurels wither on their heads.
Torrismond,
A Statue, for a Battel blindly fought▪
Where Darkness and Surprise made Conquest cheap!
Where Virtue borow'd but the Arms of Chance,
And struck a random blow! 'Twas Fortune's work;
And Fortune take the praise.
Bertr.
Yet Happiness
Is the first Fame: Vertue without Success
Is a fair Picture shown by an ill light:
But lucky men are Favorites of Heaven:
And whom should Kings esteem above Heaven's Darlings?
The Praises of a young and beauteous Queen
Shall crown your glorious Acts.
Pedro
to Alphonso,
There sprung the Mine.
Torr.
The Queen! That were a happiness too great!
Nam'd you the Queen, My Lord?
Bertr.
Yes: You have seen her, and you must confess
A Praise, a Smile, a Look from her is worth
The shouts of thousand Amphitheaters:
She, she shall praise you; for I can oblige her:
To morrow will deliver all her Charms
Into my Arms; and make her mine for ever.
Why stand you mute?
Torr.
Alas! I cannot speak.
Bertr.
Not speak, My Lord! How were your thoughts employ'd?
Torr.
Not can I think; or I am lost in thought.
Bertr.
Thought of the Queen, perhaps?
Torr.
Why, if it were,
Heav'n may be thought on, though too high to climbe.
Bertr.
O, now I find where your Ambition drives:
You ought not think of her.
Torr.
So I say too;
I ought not: Madmen ought not to be mad:
But who can help his frenzy?
Bertr.
Fond young Man!
The Wings of your Ambition must be clipt▪
Your shamefac'd Vertue shunn'd the Peoples Praise,
And Senates Honours: But 'tis well we know
Page 9
What price you hold your self at: you have fought
With some Success, and that has seal'd your Pardon.
Torr.
Pardon from thee! O, give me patience Heav'n!
Thrice vanquish'd Bertran; if thou darst, look out
Upon yo• slaughter'd Host, that Field of bloud:
There seal my Pardon, where thy Fame was lost.
Ped.
He's ruin'd, past redemption!
Alph.
To the first Prince o'th' bloud.
Bert.
O, let him rave!
I'll not contend with Madmen.
Torr.
I have done:
I k•ow 'twas Madness to declare this Truth:
And yet 'twere Baseness to deny my Love.
'Tis true, my hopes are vanishing as clouds;
Lighter then childrens bubbles blown by winds:
My merit's but the rash results of chance:
My birth unequal: all the stars against me:
Pow'r, promise, choice; the living and the dead:
Mankind my foes; and onely love to friend:
But such a love, kept at such awfull distance,
As, what it loudly dares to tell, a Rival
Shall fear to whisper there: Queens •ay be lov'd,
And so may Gods; else, why are Altars rais'd?
Why shines the Sun, but that he may be view'd?
But, Oh! when he's too bright, if then we gaze,
'Tis but to weep; and close our eyes in darkness.
[Exit Torrismond.
Bert.
'Tis well: the Goddess shall be told, she shall,
Of her new Worshipper.
[Exit Bertran.
Pedro,
So, here's fine work!
He has supply'd his onely foe with arms
For his destruction. Old Penelope's tale
Inverted: h'has unravell'd all by day
That he has done by night.—What, Planet-struck!
Alph.
I wish I were; to be past sense of this!
Ped.
Wou'd I had but a Lease of li•e so long
As till my Flesh and Bloud re•ell'd this way
Against our Sovereign Lady: mad for a Queen?
With a Globe in one hand, and a Sceptre in t'other?
Alph.
Then to declare his Madness to his Rival!
His Father absent on an Embassy:
Himself a Stranger almost; wholly friendless!
A Torrent, rowling down a Precipice,
Is easier to be stopt, then is his Ruin.
Ped.
'Tis fruitless to complain: haste to the Court:
Improve your interest there, for Pardon from the Queen.
Alph.
Weak remedies;
But all must be attempted.
[Exit Alphonso.
Enter Lorenzo.
Lor.
Well, I am the most unlucky Rogue! I have been ran∣ging
over half the Town; but have sprung no Game. Our Wo∣men
are worse Infidels then the Moores: I told 'em I was one of
their Knight-errants, that deliver'd them from ravishment: and I
think in my conscience that's their Quarrel to me.
Pedro,
Is this a time for fooling? Your Cousin is run honoura∣bly
mad in love with her Majesty: He is split upon a Rock; and
you, who are in chase of Harlots, are sinking in the main Ocean.
I think the Devil's in the Family.
[Exit Pedro.
[Lorenzo solus.
Lor.
My Cousin ruin'd, saies he! hum! not that I wish my
Kinsman's ruin; that were• Unchristian: but if the General's ru∣in'd,
I am Heir; there's comfort for a Christian. Money I have,
I thank the honest Moores for't; but I want a Mistress. I am wil∣ling
to be leud; but the Tempter is wanting on his part.
Enter Elvira veil'd.
Elvira▪
Stranger! Cavalier—will you not hear me? you
Moore-killer, you Matador.—
Elvira,
Face about, Man; you a Souldier, and afraid of the
Enemy!
Lor.
I must confess, I did not expect to have been charg'd first:
I see Souls will not be lost for want of diligence in this Devil's reign:
—Aside—
To her.
Now; Madam
Cynthia behind a cloud; your will and
pleasure with me?
Elvira,
You have the appearance of a Cavalier; and if you
are as deserving as you seem, perhaps you may not repent of your
Adventure. If a Lady like you well enough to hold discourse with
Page 11
you at first sight; you are Gentleman enough, I hope, to help her
out with an Apology: and to lay the blame on Stars, or Destiny;
or what you please, to excuse the Frailty of a Woman.
Lorenzo,
O, I love an easie Woman: there's such a doe to crack
a thick shell'd Mistress: we break our Teeth; and find no Kernel.
'Tis generous in you, to take pity on a Stranger; and not to suf∣fer
him to fall into ill hands at his first arrival.
Elvira,
You may have a better opinion of me then I deserve;
you have not seen me yet; and therefore I am consident you are
heart-whole.
Lorenzo,
Not absolutely slain, I must confess; but I am draw∣ing
on apace: you have a dangerous Tongue in your head, I can
tell you that; and if your Eyes prove of as killing metal, there's
but one way with me: Let me see you, for the safeguard of my
Honour: 'tis but decent the Cannon should be drawn down up∣on
me, before I yield.
Elvira,
What a terrible Similitude have you made, Colonel? to
shew that you are inclining to the Wars: I could answer you with
another in my Profession: Suppose you were in want of Money;
wou'd you not be glad to take a Sum upon content in a seal'd
bagg, without peeping?—but however; I will not stand with
you for a sample.
[Lifts up her Veil.
Lorenzo,
What Eyes were there! how keen their Glances!
you doe well to keep 'em veil'd: they are too sharp to be trusted
out o'th' Scabbard.
Elvira,
Perhaps now you may accuse my forwardness; but
this day of Jubilee is the onely time of freedom I have had: and
there is nothing so extravagant as a Prisoner, when he gets loose
a little, and is immediately to return into his Fetters.
Lorenzo,
To confess freely to you, Madam, I was never in love
with less then your whole Sex before: but now I have seen you,
I am in the direct road of languishing and sighing: and, if Love
goes on as it begins, for ought I know, by to morrow morning
you may hear of me in Rhyme and Sonnet. I tell you truly, I do
not like these Symptoms in my self: perhaps I may go shufflingly
at first; for I was never before walk'd in Trammels; yet I shall
drudge and moil at Constancy, till I have worn off the hitching
in my pace.
Elvira,
Oh, Sir, there are Arts to reclaim the wildest Men, as
there are to make Spaniels fetch and carry: chide 'em often, and
Page 12
feed 'em seldom: now I know your temper, you may thank your
self if you are kept to hard meat:—you, are in for years if you
make love to me.
Lorenzo,
I hate a formal obligation with an Anno Domini at end
on't; there may be an evil meaning in the word Years, call'd Ma∣trimony.
Elvira,
I can easily rid you of that Fear: I wish I could rid
my self as easily of the bondage.
Lorenzo,
Then you are married?
Elvira,
If a Covetous, and a Jealous, and an Old man be a
husband.
Lor.
Three as good qualities for my purpose as I could wish:
now love be prais'd.
[Enter Elvira's Duenna, and whispers to her.
Elvira,
(Aside.)
If I get not home before my Husband, I shall
be ruin'd▪
[—to him.
I dare not stay to tell you where—farwell—cou'd I once
more—
[Exit Elvira.
Lorenzo,
This is unconcionable dealing; to be made a Slave,
and not know whose livery I wear:—Who have we yonder?
(Enter Gomez▪)
By that shambling in his walk, it should be my
rich old Banquer,
Gomez, whom I knew at
Barcelona: As I live
'tis he—
To Gomez,
What, Old
Mammon here?
Gom.
How! Young Beelzebub!
Lorenzo,
What Devil has set his Claws in thy Hanches, and
brought thee hither to Saragossa? Sure he meant a farther Jour∣ney
with thee.
Gom.
I alwaies remove before the Enemy: When the Moores
are ready to besiege one Town, I shift quarters to the next: I
keep as far from the Infidels as I can.
Lor.
That's but a hair's breadth at farthest.
Gom.
Well, you have got a •amous Victory; all true Subjects
are overjoy'd at it: there are Bonfires decreed: and the times had
not been hard, my Billet should have burnt too.
Lor.
I dare say for thee, thou hast such a respect for a single
Billet, thou would'st almost have thrown on thy self to save it:
thou art for saving every thing but thy Soul.
Gom.
Well, well, You'll not believe me generous 'till I carry
you to the Tavern, and crack half a Pint with you at my own
charges.
Page 13Lor.
No; I'll keep thee from hanging thy self for such an ex∣travagance:
and, instead of it, thou shalt doe me a meer verbal
courtesie: I have just now seen a most incomparable young Lady.
Gom.
Whereabouts did you see this most incomparable young
Lady? my mind misgives me plaguily.—
(Aside.)
Lor.
Here, man; just before this Corner-house: Pray Heaven
it prove no Bawdy-house.
Gom.
(Aside.)
Pray heaven he does not make it one.
Lor.
What dost thou mutter to thy self? Hast thou any thing
to say against the Honesty of that house?
Gom.
Not I, Colonel, the Walls are very honest Stone, and
the Timber very honest Wood, for ought I know. But for the
Woman, I cannot say, till I know her better: describe her per∣son;
and, if she live in this quarter, I may give you tidings of her.
Lor.
She's of a middle Stature, dark colour'd Hair, the most
bewitching Leer with her Eyes, the most roguish Cast; her
Cheeks are dimpled when she Smiles; and her Smiles would tempt
an Hermit.
Gom.
(Aside.)
I am dead, I am buried, I am damn'd.—Go
on—Colonel—have you no other Marks of her?
Lor.
Thou hast all her Marks; but that she has an Husband;
a jealous, covetous, old Huncks: speak; canst thou tell me News
of her?
Gom.
Yes; this News, Colonel; that you have seen your last
of her.
Lor.
If thou helpst me not to the knowledge of her, thou art
a circumcised Iew.
Gom.
Circumcise me no more then I circumcise you, Colonel
Hernando: once more you have seen your last of her.
Lor.
(Aside.)
I am glad he knows me onely by that Name of
Hernando, by which I went at
Barcelona: now he can tell no
tales of me to my Father.
To him.
Come, thou wert ever good-natur'd, when thou couldst
get by't:—Look here, Rogue, 'tis of the right damning colour:
—thou art not Proof against Gold, sure!—do not I know
thee for a covetous,—
Gomez,
Jealous▪ old Huncks: those were the Marks of your
Mistresse's Husband, as I remember, Colonel.
Lor.
Oh, the Devil! What a Rogue in understanding was I, not
to find him out sooner!
(Aside.)
Page 14Gom.
Do, do, Look sillily, good Colonel: 'tis a decent Melancho∣ly
after an absolute Defeat.
Lor.
Faith, not for that, dear Gomez;—but,
Gom.
But—no Pumping, My dear Colonel.
Lor.
Hang Pumping; I was—thinking a little upon a point
of Gratitude: we two have been long Acquaintance; I know thy
Merits, and can make some Interest: go to; thou wert born
to Authority: I'll make thee Alcaide Mayor of Sarragossa.
Gom.
Satisfie your self; you shall not make me what you think,
Colonel.
Lor.
Faith but I will; thou hast the Face of a Magistrate al∣ready.
Gom.
And you would provide me with a Magistrate's Head to
my Magistrate's Face; I thank you Colonel.
Lor.
Come, thou art so suspicious upon an idle Story—that
Woman I saw, I mean that little, crooked, ugly Woman; for
t'other was a Lye;—is no more thy Wife:—As I'll go
home with thee, and satisfie thee immediately, My dear Friend.
Gom.
I shall not put you to that trouble: no not so much as
a single Visit: not so much as an Embassy by a civil, old Woman:
nor a Serenade of Twinckledum, Twinckledum, under my windows:
Nay, I will advise you out of my tenderness to your Person, that
you walk not near you Corner-house by night; for to my cer∣tain
knowledg, there are Blunderbusses planted in every loop∣hole,
that go off constantly of their own accord, at the squeak∣ing
of a Fiddle, and the thrumming of a Ghittar.
Lor.
Art thou so obstinate? Then I denounce open War a∣gainst
thee: I'll demolish thy Citadel by force: or, at least, I'll
bring my whole Regiment upon thee: my thousand Red Locusts
that shall devour thee in Free quarter.—Farwell wrought
Night-cap.
[Exit Lorenzo.
Gom.
Farwell Buff! Free-quarter for a Regiment of Red coat
Locusts? I hope to see 'em all in the Red-sea first!—But oh,
this Iezabel of mine! I'll get a Physician that shall prescribe her
an ounce of Camphire every morning for her Breakfast, to a∣bate
Incontinency: she shall never peep abroad, no, not to
Church for Confession; and for never going, ••e shall be con∣demn'd
for a Heretick: she shall have Str•pes by Troy weight;
and Sustenance by drachms and scruples: Nay, I'll have a Fa∣sting
Page 15
Almanack printed on purpose for her use; in which,
No Carnival nor Christmass shall appear;
But Lents and Ember-weeks shall fill the year.
[Exit Gomez.
ACT II.
SCENE, The Queen's Anti-chamber.
Alphonso, Pedro.
Alph.
WHen saw you my Lorenzo?
Ped.
I had a glimpse of him; but he shot by me
Like a young Hound upon a burning scent:
He's gon a Harlot-hunting.
Alph.
His foreign breeding might have taught him better▪
Ped.
'Tis that has taught him this▪
What learn our Youth abroad; but to re•ine
The homely Vices of their native Land?
Give me an honest homespun countrey Clown
Of our own growth; his dulness is but plain;
But their's embroider'd: they are sent out Fools,
And come back Fopps.
Alph.
You know what reasons urg'd me;
But now I have accomplish'd my Designs,
I shou'd be glad he knew 'em:—his wild Riots
Disturb my soul; but they wou'd sit more close,
Did not the threatn'd down-fall of our house,
In Torrismond, o'erwhelm my private Ills.
Enter Bertran attended; and whisper∣ing with a Courtier, aside.
Bertr.
I wou'd not have her think he dar'd to love her;
If he presume to own it, she's so proud
He tempts his certain ruin.
Alph.
to Ped.
Mark how disdainfully he throws his Eyes on us.
Our old imprison'd King wore no such Looks.
Ped.
O, wou'd the General shake off his Do•age to th'usurping
Q•een,
Page 16
And re
•inthrone Good▪ Venerable
Sancho,
I'll undertake, shou'd Bertran sound his Trumpets,
And Torrismond but whistle through his Fingers,
He draws his Army off.
Alph.
I told him so:
But had an Answer louder then a Storm.
Ped.
Now Plague and Pox on his Smock-loyalty!
I hate to see a brave bold Fellow sotted,
Made sour and sensless; turn'd to Whey by Love:
A driveling Hero; fit for a Romance.
O, here he comes; what will their greeting be!
Enter Torrismond attended. Ber∣tran
and he meet and justle.
Bertr.
Make way, My Lords, and let the Pageant pass.
Torr.
I make my way where e'er I see my Foe:
But you, My Lord, are good at a Retreat:
I have no Moores behind me.
Bertr.
Death and Hell!
Dare to speak thus when you come out again?
Torr.
Dare to provoke me thus, insulting man?
[Enter Teresa▪
Ter.
My Lords, You are too loud so near the Queen:
You, Torrismond, have much offended her:
'Tis her Command you instantly appear,
To answer your demeanour to the Prince.
Exit Teresa; Bertran with his com∣pany
follow her.
Torr.
O Pedro, O Alphonso, pity me!
A Grove of Pikes
Whose polish'd Steel from far severely shines,
Are not so dreadfull as this beauteous Queen.
Alph.
Call up your Courage timely to your aid:
And, like a Lion press'd upon the Toyles,
Leap on your Hunters: Speak your Actions boldly;
There is a time when modest Vertue is
Allow'd to praise it self.
Ped.
Heart, you were hot enough; too hot, but now;
Your Fury then boil'd upward to a Fome:
But since this Message came, you sink and settle;
As if cold water had been pour'd upon you.
Page 17Torr.
Alas, thou know'st not what it is to love!
When we behold an Angel, not to fear,
Is to be impudent:—no I'm resolv'd,
Like a led Victim, to my Death I'll goe;
And, dying, bless the hand that gave the blow.
[Exeunt.
The SCENE draws; and shews the Queen sitting in state,
Bertran standing next her: then Teresa, &c.
She rises, and comes to the Front.
Qu.
Leonora to Bert.
I blame not you, My Lord, my Father's will,
Your own Deserts, and all my People's Voice,
Have plac'd you in the view of Sovereign Pow'r.
But I wou'd learn the cause, why Torrismond,
Within my Palace Walls, within my Hearing▪
Almost within my Sight, affronts a Prince
Who shortly shall command him.
Bertr.
He thinks you owe him more then you can pay;
And looks, as he were Lord of humane kind.
Enter Torrismond, Alphonso, Pedro. Torrismond bows
low: then looks earnestly on the Queen, and keeps
at distance.
Teresa,
Madam, The General.—
Qu.
Let me view him well.
My Father sent him early to the Frontiers;
I have not often seen him; if I did,
He pass'd unmark'd by my unheeding Eyes▪
But where's the Fierceness, the Disdainful Pride;
The Haughty Port▪ the Fiery Arrogance?
By all these Marks, this is not sure the man.
Bertr.
Yet this is he who fill'd your Court with Tumult,
Whose Fierce Demeanour, and whose Insolence
The Patience of a God cou'd not support.
Qu.
Name his Offence, My Lord, and he shall have
Immediate punishment.
Bertr.
'Tis of so high a nature, shou'd I speak it▪
That my Presumption then wou'd equal his.
Qu.
Some one among you speak.
Ped.
(Aside.)
Now my Tongue itches.
Page 18Qu.
All dumb! on your Allegiance▪ Torrismond,
By all your hopes, I do command you, speak.
Torr.
(kneeling.)
O seek not to convince me of a Crime
Which I can ne'er repent, nor can you pardon.
Or, if you needs will know it, think, oh think,
That he, who thus commanded dares to speak,
Unless commanded, wou'd have dy'd in silence.
But you adjur'd me, Madam, by my hopes!
Hopes I have none; for I am all Despair:
Friends I have none; for Friendship follows Favour▪
Desert •'ve none; for what I did, was Duty:
Oh, that it were! that it were Duty all!
Qu.
Why do you pause? proceed.
Torr.
As one condemn'd to leap a Precipice,
Who sees before his Eyes the Depth below,
Stops short, and looks about, for some kind Shrub
To break his dreadfull Fall—•o I;—
But whither am I going? if to Death,
He looks so lovely sweet in Beauties Pomp▪
He draws me to his Dart.—I dare no more.
Bertr.
He's mad beyond the Cure of Hellebore.
Whips, Darkness, Dungeons, for this Insolence.—
Torr.
Mad as I am, yet I know when to bear.—
Qu.
You're both too bold. You, Torrismond, withdraw:
I'll teach you all what's owing to your Queen.
For you, My Lord,—
The Priest to morrow was to •oin our hands;
I'll try if I can live a day without you.
So, both of you depart; and live in Peace.
Alph.
Who knows whic• way she points!
Doubling and turning, like an hunted Hare.
Find out the Meaning of her mind who can.
Pedr.
Who ever •ound a Woman's! backward and forward,
The whole Sex in every word. In my Conscience when she was
getting, her Mother was thinking of a Riddle.
[Exeunt all, but the Queen and Teresa.
Queen,
Hast, my Teresa, hast; and call him back.
(Qu.)
Torrismond.
There is no other He.
Page 19Ter.
Or I am much deceiv'd.
[Exit Teresa.
Queen,
A change so swift, what heart did ever feel!
It rush'd upon me, like a mighty Stream,
And bore me in a moment far from Shore.
I've lov'd away my self: in one short hour
Already am I gon an Age of Passion.
Was it his Youth, his Valour, or Success?
These might perhaps be found in other men.
'Twas that respect; that awfull homage pay'd me;
That fearfull Love which trembled in his Eyes;
and, with a silent Earthquake, shook his Soul.
But, when he spoke, what tender words he said!
So softly, that, like flakes of feather'd Snow,
They melted as they fell.—
Enter Teresa, with Torrismond.
Ter.
He waits your pleasure.
Qu.
'Tis well; retire—Oh Heaven's, that I must speak
So distant from my heart—
(aside▪)
To Torr.
How now! What Boldness brings you back again?
Torr.
I heard 'twas your Command.
Qu.
A fond mistake,
To credit so unlikely a Command.
And you return full of the same Presumption
T'affront me with your Love?
Torr.
If 'tis Presumption for a Wretch condemn'd
To throw himself beneath his Judge's feet:
A Boldness, more then this, I never knew▪
Or, if I did, 'twas onely to your Foes.
Qu.
You wou'd insinuate your past Services;
And those, I grant, were great: but you confess
A Fault committed since, that can•els all.
Torr.
And who cou'd dare to disavow his Crime,
When that, for which he is accus'd and seiz'd,
He bears about him still! my Eyes con•ess it.
My every action speaks my heart aloud.
But, oh, the Madness of my high attempt
Speaks louder yet! and all together cry,
I love and I despair.
Page 20Qu.
Have you not heard,
My Father, with his dying voice, bequeath'd
My Crown and me to Bertran? And dare you,
A private man, presume to love a Queen?
Torr.
That, that's the Wound! I see you set so high,
As no Desert, or Services, can reach.
Good Heav'ns, why gave you me a Monarch's Soul,
And crusted it with base Plebeian Clay!
Why gave you me Desires of such extent,
And such a Span••to• grasp 'em? Sure my lot
By some o'er hasty Angel was misplac'd
In Fate's Eternal Volume!—But I rave,
And, like a giddy Bird, in dead of night,
Fly round the Fire that scorches me to death.
Qu.
Yet, Torrismond, you've not so ill deserv'd,
But I may give you Counsel for your Cure.
Torr.
I cannot, nay, I wish not to be cur'd.
Qu.
(aside.)
Nor I, Heav'n knows!
Torr.
There is a Pleasure sure
In being Mad, which none but Madmen know!
Let me indulge it▪ let me gaze for ever!
And, since you are too great to be belov'd,
Be greater, greater yet; and be ador'd.
Qu.
These are the words which I must onely hear
From Bertran's mouth; they shou'd displease from you;
I say they shou'd: but women are so vain,
To like the Love, though they despise the Lover.
Yet, that I may not send you from my sight
In absolute despair—I pity you.
Torr.
Am I then pity'd! I have livd enough!
Death, take me in• this moment of my Joy;
But when my Soul is plung'd in long oblivion,
Spare this one Thought: let me remember Pity;
And so deceiv'd, think all my life was bless'd.
Qu.
What if I add a little to my Alms?
If that wou'd help, I cou'd cast in a Tear
To your Misfortunes.—
Torr.
A Tear! You have o'erbid all my past Sufferings,
And all my future too!
Torr.
What have I lost by my Fore-father's fault?
Why was not I the Twenty'th by descent
From a long restive race of droning Kings?
Love! What a poor omnipotence hast thou
When Gold and Titles buy thee?
Qu▪
(sighs.)
Oh, my torture!—
Torr.
Might I presume, but, oh, I dare not hope
That Sigh was added to your Alms for me!
Qu.
I give you leave to guess; and not forbid you▪
To make the best construction for your love.
Be secret and discreet; these Fayery favours
Are lost when not conceal'd;—provoke not Bertran.—
Retire: I must no more but this,—Hope, Torrismond.
[Exit Queen.
Torr.
She bids me hope; oh Heav'ns; she pities me!
And pity still foreruns approching love;
As Lightning does the Thunder! Tune your Harps
Ye Angels to that sound; and thou, my Heart,
Make room to entertain thy flowing Joy.
Hence all my Grie•s, and every anxious Care:
One word, and one kind Gl•nce, can cure despair.
[Exit Torrismond▪
SCENE, A Chamber.
A Table and Wine set out.
Enter Lorenzo.
Lor.
This may hit▪ 'tis more then barely possible: for Fryars
have free admittance into every house. This Iacobin, whom I
have sent to, is her Confessor; and who can suspect a man of
such Reverence for a Pimp? I'll try for once: I'll bribe him high:
for commonly none love Money better then they who have made
a Vow of Poverty.
Enter Servant▪
Serv.
There's a huge fat religious Gentleman coming up, Sir,
he saies he's but a Fryar, but he's big enough to be a Pope; his
Gills are as rosie as a Turkey-Cock; his great Belly walks in state
before him like an Harbinger; and his gouty Legs come limp∣ing
after it: Never was such a Tun of Devotion seen.
Page 22Lor.
Bring him in, and vani••▪
[Exit Serv•nt.
Enter Father Dominic.
Dom.
Peace be here: I thought I had been sent for to a dying
man; to have fitted him for another world.
Lor.
No, Faith, Father, I was never for taking such long jour∣neys.
Repose your self, I beseech you, Sir, if those spindle Legs of
yours will carry you to the next Chair.
Dom.
I am old, I am in•irm, I must confess, with Fasting.
Lor.
'Tis a sign by your wan Complexion, and your thin Jouls,
Father. Come—to our better Acquaintance:—here's a
Sovereign Remedy for Old Age and Sorrow.
[Drinks.
Dom.
The Looks of it are indeed alluring: I'll doe you reason.
Lor.
Is it to your Palate, Father?
[Drinks.
Dom.
Second thoughts, they say, are best: I'll consider of it once
again.
[Drinks.
It has a most delicious Flavour with it.
Gad forgive me, I have forgotten to drink your health, Son, I am
not us'd to be so unmannerly.
[Drinks again.
Lor.
No, I'll be sworn by what I see of you, you are not:—
To the bottom.—I warrant him a true Church-man.—Now, Fa∣ther,
to our business, 'tis agreeable to your Calling; I intend to
doe an act of Charity.
Dom.
And I love to hear of Charity; 'tis a comfortable subject.
Lor.
Being in the late Battle, in great hazard of my Life, I re∣commended
my person to good St. Dominic.
Dom.
You cou'd not have pitch'd upon a better: he's a sure
Card: I never knew him fail his Votaries.
Lor.
Troth I e'en made bold to strike up a bargain with him,
that if I scap'd with Life and Plunder, I wou'd present some Bro∣ther
of his Order with part of the Booty taken from the Infidels,
to be employ'd in charitable uses.
Dom.
There you hit him: St. Dominic loves Charity exceed∣ingly:
that Argument never fails with him.
Lor.
The Spoils were mighty; and I scorn to wrong him of
a Farthing. To make short my Story; I enquir'd among the Ia∣cobins
for an Almoner, and the general Fame has pointed out
your Reverence as the Worthiest man:—here are Fifty good
Pieces in this Purse.
Page 23Dom.
How, Fifty Pieces? 'tis too much, too much in Consci∣ence.
Lor.
Here; take 'em Father.
Dom.
No, in troth, I dare not: do not tempt me to break my
Vow of Poverty.
Lor.
If you are modest, I must force you: for I am strongest.
Dom.
Nay, if you compel me, there's no contending; but will
you set your strength against a decrepit, poor, old man?
[Takes the Purse.
As I said, 'tis too great a Bounty; but St.
Dominic shall owe you
another Scape: I'll put him in mind of you.
Lor.
If you please, Father, we will no• trouble him till the next
Battle. But you may doe me a greater kindness, by conveying
my Prayers to a Female Saint.
Dom.
A Female Saint! good now, good now, how your De∣votions
jump with mine! I alwaies lov'd the Female Saints.
Lor.
I mean a Female,•mortal,•married•woman-Saint: Look up∣on
the Superscription of this Note; you know Don Gomez his
Wife.
[Gives him a Letter.
Dom.
Who, Donna Elvira? I think I have some reason: I am
her Ghostly Father.
Lor.
I have some business of Importance with her, which I
have communicated in this Paper; but her Husband is so horri∣bly
given to be jealous.—
Dom.
Ho, jealous? he's the very Quintessence of Jealousie: he
keeps no Male Creature in his house: and from abroad he lets• no
man come near her.
Lor.
Excepting you, Father.
Dom.
Me, I grant you: I am her Director and her Guide in
spiritual Affairs. But he has his humours with me too: for t'o∣ther
day, he call'd me False Apostle.
Lor.
Did he so? that reflects upon you all: on my word, Fa∣ther,
that touches your Copy•hold. If you wou'd do a merito∣rious
Action, you might revenge the Churche's Quarrel.—My
Letter, Father—
Dom.
Well, so far as a Letter, I will take upon me: for what
can I refuse to a man so charitably given?
Lor.
If you bring an Answer back, that Purse in your hand has
a twin-brother, as like him as ever he can look: there are Fifty
Pieces lye dormant in it, for more Charities.
Page 24Dom.
That must not be: not a Farthing more upon my Priest∣hood.
—But what may be the purport and meaning of this
Letter; that I confess a little troubles me.
Lor.
No harm, I warrant you.
Dom.
Well, you are a charitable man; and I'll take your word:
my comfort is, I know not the Contents; and so far I am blame∣less.
But an Answer you shall have: though not for the sake of
your Fifty Pieces more: I have sworn not to take them: they
shall not be altogether Fifty:—your Mistress,—forgive me
that I should call her your Mistress, I meant Elvira, lives but at
next door; I'll visit her immediately: but not a word more of the
Nine and forty Pieces.—
Lor.
Nay, I'll wait on you down Stairs.—Fifty Pounds for
the postage of a Letter! to send by the Church is certainly the
dearest road in Christendom.
[Exeunt.
SCENE, A Chamber.
Gomez, Elvira.
Gom.
Henceforth I banish Flesh and Wine: I'll have none stir∣ring
within these walls these twelve months.
Elvira,
I care not; the sooner I am starv'd the sooner I am rid
of Wedlock. I shall learn the knack to fast a days; you have us'd
me to fasting nights already.
Gom.
How the Gipsey answers me! Oh, 'tis a most notorious
Hilding!
Elvira,
(crying.)
But was ever poor innocent Creature so hardly
dealt with, for a little harmless Chat?
Gom.
Oh, the Impudence of this wicked Sex! Lascivious Dia∣logues
are innocent with you!
Elvi.
Was it such a Crime to enquire how the Battle pass'd?
Gom.
But that was not the business, Gentlewoman; you were
not asking News of a Battle past; you were engaging for a Skir∣mish
that was to come.
Elvi.
An honest Woman wou'd be glad to hear, that her Ho∣nour
was safe, and her Enemies were slain.
Gom.
in her tone.
And to ask if he were wounded in your de∣fence;
and, in case he were, to offer your self to be his Chirurge∣on:
—then, you did not describe your Husband to him, for
a covetous, jealous, rich old Huncks.
Elvi.
No, I need not: he describes himself sufficiently: but,
in what Dream did I doe this?
Page 25Gom.
You walk'd in your Sleep, with your Eyes broad open,
at noon of day; and dreamt you were talking to the foresaid pur∣pose
with one Colonel Hernando.—
Elvi.
Who, Dear Husband, who?
Gom.
What the Devil have I said? You wou'd have farther In∣formation,
wou'd you?
Elvi.
No, but, my dear little old man, tell me now; that I
may avoid him for your sake.
Gom.
Get you up into your Chamber, Cockatrice; and the•e
immure your self: be confin'd, I say, during our Royal Pleasure:
But, first, down on your marrow-bones, upon you• Allegeance;
and make an Acknowledgment of your Offences; for I will have
ample Satisfaction.
[Pulls her down.
Elvi.
I have done you no Injury, and therefore I'll make you
no Submission: But I'll complain to my Ghostly Father.
Gom.
Ay; There's your Remedy: When you receive condign
Punishment, you run with open Mouth to your Confessor; that
parcel of holy Guts and Garbidge; he must chucle you and moan
you: but I'll rid my hands of his Ghostly Au∣thority
[Enter Dominic.]
one day, and make him know he's
the Son of a—
(sees him.)
So;—no
sooner conjure, but the Devil's in the Circle.—
Dom.
Son of a what, Don Gomez?
Gom.
Why, A Son of a Church, I hope there's no harm in
that, Father.
Dom.
I will lay up your words for you till time shall serve:
and to morrow I enjoyn you to Fast for Penance.
Gom.
(Aside.)
There's no harm in that; she shall fast too: Fast∣ing
saves Money.
Dom.
to Elvira,
What was the reason that I found you upon
your Knees, in that unseemly posture?
Gom.
(Aside.)
O horrible! to find a woman upon her Knees,
he says, is an unseemly posture; there's a Priest for you.
Elvi.
to Dom.
I wish, Father, you wou'd give me an opportu∣nity
of entertaining you in private: I have somewhat upon my
Spirits that presses me exceedingly.
Dom.
(Aside.)
This goes well:
Gomez, stand you at distance,
—farther yet,—stand out of ear-shot—I have somewhat
to say to your Wife in private.
Gomez,
(Aside.)
Was ever man thus Priest-ridden? wou'd
Page 26
the Steeple of his Church were in his Belly: I am sure there's room
for it.
Elvi.
I am asham'd to acknowledg my Infirmities; but you
have been alwaies an indulgent Father; and therefore I will ven∣ture,
to—and yet I dare not.—
Dom.
Nay, if you are bashfull;—if you keep your wound
from the knowledge of your Surgeon;—
Elvi.
You know my Husband is a man in years; but he's my
Husband; and therefore I shall be silent: but his Humours are
more intolerable then his Age: he's grown so froward, so cove∣tous,
and so jealous, that he has turn'd my heart quite from him;
and, if I durst confess it, has forc'd me to cast my Affections on
another man.
Dom.
Good:—hold, hold; I meant abominable:—
pray Heaven this be my Colonel.
[Aside.
Elvi.
I have seen this man, Father; and have incourag'd his
Addresses: he's a young Gentleman, a Souldier, of a most winning
Carriage; and what his Courtship may produce at last I know
not; but I am afraid of my own frailty.
Dom.
(aside.)
'Tis he for certain:—she has sav'd the Credit of
my Function, by speaking first; now must I take Gravity upon
me.
Gom.
(aside.)
This Whispering bodes me no good for certain;
but he has me so plaguily under the lash, that I dare not inter∣rupt
him.
Dom.
Daughter, Daughter, do you remember your matrimoni∣al
Vow?
Elvi.
Yes, to my sorrow Father, I do remember it: a misera∣ble
woman it has made me: but you know, Father, a Marriage-vow
is but a thing of course, which all women take when they
wou'd get a Husband.
Dom.
A Vow is a very solemn thing: and 'tis good to keep it:
—but, notwithstanding, it may be broken, upon some occa∣sions.
—Have you striven with all your might against this
frailty?
Elvi.
Yes, I have striven; but I found it was against the
stream. Love, you know, Father, is a great Vow-maker; but
he's a greater Vow-breaker.
Dom.
'Tis your Duty to strive alwaies: but, notwithstanding,
when we have done our utmost, it extenuates the Sin.
Page 27Gom.
I can hold no longer.—Now, Gentlewoman, you
are confessing your Enormities; I know it by that hypocritical,
down cast Look: enjoin her to sit bare upon a Bed of Nettles,
Father; you can doe no less in Conscience.
Dom.
Hold your peace; are you growing malapert? will you
force me to make use of my Authority? your Wife's a well•dis∣pos'd
and a vertuous Lady; I say it, In verbo Sacerdotis.
Elvi.
I know not what to doe, Father; I find my self in a most
desperate Condition; and so is the Colonel for Love of me.
Dom.
The Colonel, say you! I wish it be not the same young
Gentleman I know: 'Tis a gallant young man, I must con•ess,
worthy of any Lady's love in Christendom: in a lawfull way I
mean; of such a charming behaviour, so bewitching to a Woman's
eye; and furthermore, so charitably given; by all good tokens,
this must be my Colonel Hernando.
Elvi.
Ay, and my• Colonel too, Father: I am overjoy'd; and
are you then acquainted with him?
Dom.
Acquainted with him! why, he haunts me up and down:
and, I am afraid, it is for love of you: for he press'd a Letter up∣on
me, within this hour, to deliver to you: I confess, I receiv'd it,
lest he should send it by some other; but with full resolution ne∣ver
to put it into your hands.
Elvi.
Oh, dear Father, let me have it, or I shall dye.
Gom.
(Whispering still.)
A Pox of your close Committee! I'll
listen I'm resolv'd:
(steales nearer.)
Dom.
Nay, If you are obstinately bent to see it,—use your dis∣cretion;
but for my part, I wash my hands on't.—what make you
listning there? get farther off; I preach not to thee, thou wicked
Eves-dropper.
Elvi.
I'll kneel down, Father, as if I were taking Absolut•on,
if you'll but please to stand before me.
Dom.
At your peril be it then. I have told you the ill Conse∣quences;
& liberavi animam meam.—Your Reputation is in
danger, to say nothing of your Soul. Notwithstanding, when
the Spiritual means have been apply'd, and fails: in that case, the
Carnal may be us'd.—You are a tender Child, you are; and
must not be put into Despair: your Heart is as soft and melting
as your Hand.
He strokes her face; takes her by the
hand; and gives the Letter.
Page 28Gom.
Hold, hold, Father; you goe beyond your Commission:
Palming is alwaies held foul play amongst Gamesters.
Dom.
Thus, good Intentions are misconstrued by wicked men:
you will never be warn'd till you are excommunicate.
Gom.
(Aside.)
Ah, Devil on him; there's his hold! If there
were no more in Excommunication then the Churche's Censure,
a Wise man wou'd lick his Conscience whole with a wet finger:
but, if I am excommunicate, I am outlaw'd; and then there's no
calling in my Money.
Elvira,
(rising,)
I have read the Note, Father, and will
send him an Answer immediately; for I know his Lodgings by his
Letter.
Dom.
I understand it not, for my part; but I wish your Inten∣tions
be honest. Remember, that Adultery, though it be a silent
Sin, yet it is a crying Sin also. Nevertheless, If you believe ab∣solutely
he will dye, unless you pity him: to save a man's Life is
a point of Charity; and actions of Charity do alleviate, as I may
say, and take off from the Mortality of the Sin. Farwell, Daugh∣ter.
—Gomez, cherish your vertuous Wife; and thereupon
I give you my Benediction:
(going.)
Gom.
Stay; I'll conduct you to the door,—that I may be
sure you steal nothing by the way.—Fryars wear not their
long Sleeves for nothing.—Oh, 'tis a Iudas Iscariot.
[Exit, after the Fryar.
Elvi.
This Fryar is a comfortable man! He will understand
nothing of the Business; and yet does it all.
Pray Wives and Virgins, at your time of need,
For a True Guide, of my Good Father's breed.
[Exit Elvira.
The End of the Second Act.
ACT III.
SCENE, The Street.
Lorenzo, in Fryars habit, meeting Dominic.
Lor.
FAther Dominic, Father Dominic; Why in such hast man?
Dom.
It shou'd seem a brother of ou• Order.
Lor.
No, Faith, I am onely your brother in Iniquity: my ho∣liness,
like yours, is meer out-side.
Dom.
What! my noble Colonel in Metamorphosis! On what
occasion are you transform'd?
Lor.
Love; Almighty Love; that which turn'd Iupiter into a
Town-bull, has transform'd me into a Fryar: I have had a Letter
from Elvira, in answer to that I sent by you.
Dom.
You see I have deliver'd my Message faithfully: I am a
Fryar of Honour where I am engag'd.
Lor.
O, I understand your Hint: the other Fifty pieces are
ready to be condemn'd to Charity.
Dom.
But this Habit▪ Son, this Habit!
Lor.
'Tis a Habit that in all Ages has been friendly to Fornica∣tion:
You have begun the Design in this Cloathing, and I'll try to
accomplish it. The Husband is absent; that evil Counsellour is
remov'd; and the Sovereign is graciously dispos'd to hear my grie∣vances.
Dom.
Go to; go to; I find good Counsel is but thrown away
upon you: Fare you well, fare you well, Son! ah—
Lor.
How! Will you turn Recreant at the last cast? You must
along to countenance my undertaking; We are at the door man.
Dom.
Well, I have tho•ght on't; and I will not go.
Lor.
You may stay, Father▪ but no Fifty, pounds without it:
that was onely promis'd in the Bond: but the Condition of this
Obligation is such, That if the above named Father, Father Domi∣nic,
do not well and faithfully, perform—
Dom.
Now I better think on't, I will bear you company; for the
Reverence of my Presence may be a curb to your E•orbitancies.
Lor.
Lead up your Myrmidon, and enter.
[Exeunt.
Page 30
Enter
Elvira, in her Chamber.
Elvi.
He'll come, that's certain: young Appetites are sharp;
and seldom need twice bidding to such a banquet:—well;
if I prove frail, as I hope I shall not, till I have compass'd my
Design; never Woman had such a Husband to provoke her, such
a Lover to allure her, or such a Confessor to absolve her. Of
what am I afraid then? not my Conscience, that's safe enough;
my Ghostly Father has given it a Dose of Church Opium, to lull
it: well, for soothing Sin▪ I'll say that for him, he's a Chaplain
for any Court in Christendom.
Enter Lorenzo and Dominic.
O, Father Dominic, what News? How▪ a Companion with
you! What Game have you in hand, that you hunt in Couples?
Lor.
(lifting up his hood.)
I'll shew you that immediately.
(They embrace.)
Dom.
I am taken on the sudden with a grievous swimming in my
Head, and such a mist before my Eyes, that I can neither hear nor see.
Elvi.
Stay, and I'll fetch you some comfortable Water.
Dom.
No, no; nothing but the open Air will doe me good. I'll
take a turn in your Garden: but remember that I trust you both,
and do not wrong my good opinion of you.
[Exit Dominic.
Elvi.
This is certainly the dust of Gold which you have thrown
in the good man's eyes, that on the sudden he cannot see: for my
mind misgives me, this Sickness of his is but Apocryphal!
Lor.
'Tis no Qualm of Conscience I'll be sworn: you see,
Madam, 'tis Interest governs all the World: he preaches against
Sin; why? because he gets by't: he holds his tongue; why▪ be∣cause
so much more is bidden for his silence.
Elvi.
And so much for the Fryar.
Lor.
Oh, those Eyes of yours reproch me justly: that I neglect
the subject which brought me hither.
Elvi.
Do you consider the hazard I have run to see you here?
if you do, methinks it shou'd inform you, that I love not at a
common rate.
Lor.
Nay, if you talk of considering; let us consider why we
are alone. Do you think the Fryar left us together to tell Beads?
Page 31
Love is a kind of penurious God, very niggardly of his opportu∣nities,
he must be watch'd like a hard-hearted Treasurer, for he
bolts out on the sudden, and, if you take him not in the nick, he
vanishes in a twinkling.
Elvi.
Why do you make such haste to have done loving me?
You Men are all like Watches, wound up for striking twelve im∣mediately;
but, after you are satisfied, the very next that fol∣lows
is the solitary sound of single one.
Lor.
How, Madam! Do you invite me to a Feast, and then
preach Abstinence?
Elvi.
No, I invite you to a Feast where the Dishes are serv'd
up in order: you are for making a hasty meal, and for chopping
up your entertainment, like an hungry Clown: trust my ma∣nagement,
good Colonel; and call not for your Dessert too soon:
believe me, that which comes last, as it is the sweetest, so it cloies
the soonest.
Lor.
I perceive, Madam, by your holding me at this distance,
that there is somewhat you expect from me: what am I to un∣dertake
or suffer e'er I can be happy?
Elvi.
I must first be satisfied that you love me.
Lor.
By all that's Holy: By these dear Eyes.
Elvi.
Spare your Oaths and Protestations; I know you Gal∣lants
of the time have a mint at your tongues end to coin them.
Lor.
You know you cannot marry me: but, By heavens, if
you were in a condition—
Elvi.
Then you would not be so prodigal of your Promises, but
have the Fear of Matrimony before your eyes: in few words, if
you love me, as you profess, deliver me from this Bondage, take
me out of Egypt, and I'll wander with you as far as Earth, and
Seas, and Love can carry us.
Lor.
I never was out at a mad Frolick, though this is the mad∣dest
I ever undertook; have with you, Lady mine; I take you at
your word; and, if you are for a merry Jaunt, I'll try for once
who can foot it farthest: there are Hedges in Summer, and Barns
in Winter to be found: I, with my Knapsack, and you, with your
Bottle at your back: we'll leave Honour to Madmen, and Riches
to Knaves; and travel till we come to the Ridge of the World, and
then drop together into the next.
Elvi.
Give me your Hand, and strike a Bargain.
[He takes her Hand, and kisses it.
Page 32Lor.
In sign and token whereof the Parties interchangeably,
and so forth—when should I be weary of Sealing upon this Soft-
wax?
Elvi.
O, Heavens! I hear my Husband's voice.
Enter Gomez.
Gom.
Where are you▪ Gentlewoman? there's something in the
wind I'm sure, because your Woman would have run up Stairs be∣fore
me: but I have secur'd her below with a Gag in her Chaps—
now, in the Devil's name, what makes this Fryar here again? I
do not like these frequent Conjunctions of the Flesh and Spirit;
they are boding.
Elvi.
Go hence, good Father; my Husband you see is in an ill
humour; and I would not have you witness of his folly.
[Lorenzo going.
Gomez,
(running to the door,)
By your Reverence's favour,
hold a little, I must examin you something better before you go:
Hi-day! who have we here? Father
Dominic is shrunk in the wet∣ting
two yards and a half about the Belly: what are become of
those two Timber-loggs that he us'd to wear for Leggs, that stood
strutting like the two black Posts before a door? I am afraid some
bad body has been setting him over a Fire in a great Cauldron,
and boil'd him down half the quantity for a Receipt: this is no
Father
Dominic, no huge, over-grown▪ Abbey-lubber; this is but a
diminutive sucking Fryar: as sure as a Gun now, Father
Domi∣nic
has been spawning this young, slender Anti-christ.
Elvi.
(aside,)
He will be found; there's no prevention.
Gomez,
Why does he not speak? What! Is the Fryar possess'd
with a dumb Devil? If he be, I shall make bold to conjure him.
Elvi.
He's but a Novice in his Order, and is injoin'd Silence
for a Penance.
Gomez,
A Novice, quoth a; You would make a Novice of me
too, if you could: but, What was his business here? Answer me
that, Gentlewoman, answer me that.
Elvi.
What shou'd it be, but to give me some Spiritual Instructions?
Gom.
Very good; and you are like to edifie much from a dumb
Preacher; this will not pass; I must exami• the Contents of him
a little closer; O thou Confessor! confess who thou art, or thou
art no Fryar of this World:
Page 33
He comes to
Lorenzo, who struggles with
him; his habit flies open, and discovers
a Sword:
Gomez starts back.
As I live, this is a manifest member of the Church militant.
Lor.
(Aside.)
I am discover'd; now Impudence be my Re∣fuge
—Yes, Faith 'tis I, honest
Gomez; thou seest I use thee like
a Friend; this is a familiar Visit.
Gom.
What! Colonel Hernando turn'd a Fryar! who could have
suspected you for so much Godliness?
Lor.
E'en as thou seest, I make bold here.
Gom.
A very frank manner of proceeding; but I do not won∣der
at your Visit, after so friendly an Invitation as I made you;
marry, I hope you will excuse the Blunderbusses for not being in
readiness to salute you; but let me know your hour, and all shall
be mended another time.
Lor.
Hang it; I hate such ripping up of old unkindness;
was upon the Frolick this evening, and came to visit thee in
Masquerade.
Gom.
Very likely; and not finding me at home, you were
forc'd to toy away an hour with my Wife, or so.
Lor.
Right: Thou speakest my very Soul.
Gom.
Why, am not I a Friend then, to help you out? you
wou'd have been fumbling half an hour for this Excuse—-but,
as I remember, you promis'd to storm my Citadel, and bring
your Regiment of Red Locusts upon me for Free quarter: I find,
Colonel, by your Habit, there are Black Locusts in the World as
well as Red.
Elvi.
(Aside.)
When comes my share of the reckoning to be
call'd for?
Lor.
Give me thy Hand; Thou art the honestest, kind man;
I was resolv'd I wou'd not out of thy house till I had seen thee.
Gom.
No▪ in my Conscience, if I had staid abroad till mid∣night.
But, Colonel, you and I shall talk in another tone hereafter;
I mean, in cold friendship, at a Bar, before a Judge, by the way of
Plaintiff and Defendant: your Excuses want some grains to make
'em currant: hum and ha will not do the business—there's a
modest Lady of your acquaintance, she has so much Grade to
make none at all, but silently to confess the Power of Dame Na∣ture
working in her Body to Youthfull Appetite.
Elvi.
How he got in I know not, unless it were by virtue of
his Habit.
Page 34Gom.
Ai, ai, the Vertues of that Habit are known abundantly.
Elvi.
I cou'd not hinder his entrance, for he took me unprovi∣ded.
Elvi.
I'm sure he has not been here above a quarter of an
hour.
Gom.
And a quarter of that time wou'd have serv'd the turn:
O thou epitome of thy vertuous Sex! Madam Messalina the Se∣cond
retire to thy Appartment: I have an Assignation there to
make with thee.
Elvi.
I am all Obedience—
[Exit Elvira.
Lor.
I find, Gomez, you are not the man I thought you: we may
meet before we come to the Bar, we may, and our Differences
may be decided by other Weapons then by Lawyers tongues; in
the mean time, no ill treatment of your Wife, as you hope to dye
a natural death, and go to Hell in your Bed: Bilbo is the word,
remember that, and tremble—
[He's going out.
Enter Dominic.
Dom.
Where is this naughty Couple? where are you, in the name
of Goodness? my mind misgave me; and I durst trust you no
longer with your selves; here will be fine work, I'm afraid, at
your next Confession.
Lor.
(Aside.)
The Devil is punctual, I see, he has paid me the
shame he ow'd me; and now the Fryar is coming in for his part
too.
Dom.
(Seeing Gom.)
Bless my Eyes! what do I see?
Gom.
Why; you see a Cuckold of this honest Gentleman's
making: I thank him for his pains.
Dom.
I confess I am astonish'd!
Gom.
What, at a Cuckoldom of your own contrivance! your
Head-piece and his Limbs have done my business.—Nay, do
not look so strangely, remember your own words, Here will be
fine work at your next Confession: What naughty Couple were
they whom you durst not trust together any longer? when the
hypocritical Rogue had trusted 'em a full quarter of an hour; and,
by the way, horns will sprout in less time then Mushrooms.
Dom.
Beware how you accuse one of my Order upon light su∣spicions:
the naughty Couple that I meant, were your Wife and
you, whom I left together with great Animosities on both sides:
Page 35
now, that was the occasion, mark me Gomez, that I thought it
convenient to return again, and not to trust your enraged Spirits
too long together: you might have broken out into Revilings
and matrimonial Warfare, which are Sins; and new Sins make
work for new Confessions.
Lor.
(Aside.)
Well said, I saith, Fryar; thou art come off thy
self, but poor I am left in Limbo.
Gom.
Angle in some other Foord, good Father, you shall catch
no Gudgeons here: look upon the Prisoner at the Bar Fryar, and
inform the Court what you know concerning him; he is arraign'd
here by the name of Colonel Hernando.
Dom.
What Colonel do you mean, Gomez? I see no man, but
a Reverend Brother of our Order, whose Profession I honour, but
whose person I know not, as I hope for Paradise.
Gom.
No, you are not acquainted with him, the more's the pi∣ty;
you do not know him, under this Disguise, for the greatest
Cuckold-maker in all Spain.
Dom.
O Impudence! O Rogue! O Vilain! Nay, if he be such
a man, my Righteous Spirit rises at him! Does he put on Holy
Garments for a cover-shame of Lewdness?
Gom.
Yes, and he's in the right on't, Father; when a swindging
Sin is to be committed, nothing will cover it so close as a Fryar's
Hood: for there the Devil plays at Bo-peep, puts out his Horns
to doe a mischief, and then shrinks 'em back for safety, like a
Snail into her shell.
Lor.
(Aside.)
It's best marching off while I can retreat with
Honour; there's no trusting this Fryar's Conscience; he has re∣nounc'd
me already more heartily then e'er he did the Devil, and
is in a fair way to prosecute me for putting on these Holy Robes:
this is the old Church-trick, the Clergy is ever at the bottom of
the Plot, but they are wise enough to slip their own Necks out
of the Coller, and leave the Laity to be fairly hang'd for it—
[Exit Lorenzo.
Gom.
Follow your Leader, Fryar; your Colonel is troop'd off,
but he had not gone so easily, if I durst have trusted you in the
house behind me; gather up your gouty Legs, I say, and rid my
house of that huge Body of divinity.
Dom.
I expect some judgment shou'd fall upon you for your
want of Reverence to your Spiritual Director: Slander, Covetous∣ness,
and Jealousie, will weigh thee down.
Page 36Gom.
Put Pride, Hypocrisie, and Gluttony, into your Scale, Fa∣ther,
and you shall weigh against me: nay, and Sins come to
be divided once, the Clergy puts in for nine parts, and scarce
leaves the Laity a tythe.
Dom.
How darest thou reproch the Tribe of Levi?
Gom.
Marry, because you make us Lay-men of the Tribe of
Issachar: you make Asses of us, to bear your burthens: when
we are young, you put Paniers upon us, with your Church dis∣cipline;
and, when we are grown up, you load us with a Wife:
after that, you procure for other men, and then you load our
Wives too; a fine phrase you have amongst you to draw us into
Marriage, you call it Settling of a man; just as when a fellow has
got a sound Knock upon the head, they say he's settled: Marri∣age
is a Settling blow indeed. They say every thing in the World
is good for something, as a Toad, to suck up the Venom of the
Earth; but I never knew what a Fryar was good for till your
Pimping show'd me.
Dom.
Thou shalt answer for this, thou Slanderer, thy Offences
be upon thy head.
Gom.
I believe there are some Offences there of your planting.
[Exit Dominic.
Lord, Lord, that men should have sense enough to set Snares in
their Warrens to catch Pol-cats, and Foxes, and yet—
Want wit a Priest-trap at their door to lay,
For holy Vermin that in houses prey.
[Exit Gomez.
SCENE, A Bed-chamber.
Queen, Teresa.
Ter.
You are not what you were since yesterday:
Your food forsakes you and your needfull rest:
You pine, you languish, love to be alone;
Think much, speak little; and, in speaking, sigh.
When you see Torrismond, you are unquiet;
But when you see him not, you are in pain.
Queen,
O, let 'em never love, who never try'd!
They brought a Paper to me to be sign'd;
Thinking on him, I quite forgot my name;
And writ, for Leonora, Torrismond.
I went to bed, and to my self I thought,
That I wou'd think on Torrismond no more:
Page 37
Then shut my Eyes; but cou'd not shut out him.
I turn'd; and try'd each corner of my Bed,
To find if Sleep were there, but Sleep was lost.
Fev'rish, for want of Rest, I rise, and walk'd;
And, by the Moon-shine, to the Windows went;
There, thinking to exclude him from my thoughts,
I cast my eyes upon the neighbouring fields▪
And, e'er I was aware, sigh'd to my self,
There fought my Torrismond.
Ter.
What hinders you to take the Man you love?
The People will be glad, the Souldier shout;
And Bertran, though repining, will be aw'd.
Qu.
I fear to try new Love,
As boys to venture on the unknown Ice,
That crackles underneath 'em, while they slide.
Oh, how shall I describe this growing ill!
Betwixt my Doubt and Love, methinks, I stand
Alt'ring, like one that waits an Ague fit;
And yet, wou'd this were all!
Qu.
I am asham'd to say, 'tis but a fancy.
At break of day, when Dreams, they say, are true,
A drowzie slumber, rather then a sleep,
Seiz'd on my Senses, with long Watching worn.
Methought I stood on a wide River's Bank,
Which I must needs o'erpass, but knew not how:
When, on a sudden Torrismond appear'd,
Gave me his hand, and led me lightly o'er;
Leaping and bounding on the Billows heads,
Till safely we had reach'd the farther shore.
Ter.
This Dream portends some ill which you shall scape▪
Wou'd you see fairer Visions? Take this night
Your Torrismond within your Arms to sleep:
And, to that end, invent some apt pretence▪
To break with Bertran: 'twould be better yet,
Cou'd you provoke him to give you th' occasion,
And then to throw him off.
Enter Bertran at a distance.
Qu.
My Stars have sent him:
For, see, he comes: how gloomily he looks!
Page 38
If he, as I suspect, have sound my Love,
His Jealousie will furnish him with Fury,
And me with means to part.
Bertr.
(Aside.)
Shall I upbraid her? Shall I call her false?
If she be false, 'tis what she most desires.
My Genius whispers me, Be cautious, Bertran!
Thou walk'st as on a narrow Mountain's neck,
A dreadfull height, with scanty room to tread.
Qu.
What Bus'ness have you at the Court, my Lord?
Bert.
What Bus'ness, Madam?
Qu.
Yes, my Lord, What Bus'ness?
'Tis somewhat sure of weighty consequence
That brings you here so often, and unsent for.
Bert.
(Aside.)
'Tis what I fear'd, her words are cold enough
To freeze a man to death.—May I presume
To speak, and to complain?
Qu.
They who complain to Princes think 'em tame:
What Bull dare bellow, or, what Sheep dares bleat,
Within the Lion's den?
Bert.
Yet men are suffer'd to put Heav'n in mind
Of promis'd Blessings, for they then are Debts.
Qu.
My Lord, Heav'n knows its own time when to give;
But you, it seems, charge me with Breach of Faith.
Bert.
I hope I need not, Madam:
But as when men in Sickness lingring lye,
They count the tedious hours by months and years;
So every day deferr'd to Dying Lovers
Is a whole Age of pain.
Qu.
What if I ne'er consent to make you mine?
My Father's Promise ties me not to time;
And Bonds, without a Date, they say, are void.
Bert.
Far be it from me to believe you bound:
Love is the freest motion of our minds:
O, cou'd you see into my secret Soul,
There you might read your own Dominion doubled,
Both as a Queen and Mistress: if you leave me,
Know I can dye, but dare not be displeas'd.
Qu.
Sure you affect Stupidity, my Lord,
Or give me cause to think that when you lost
Three Battels to the Moors, you coldly stood
Bert.
I did my best;
Fate was not in my power.
Qu.
And with the like tame Gravity you saw
A raw young Warrier take your bafled work
And end it at a blow.
Bert.
I humbly take my leave; but they who blast
Your good opinion of me, may have cause
To know I am no Coward.
[He is going.
Qu.
Bertran, stay;
(Aside.)
This may produce some dismal consequence
To him whom dearer then my Life I love.
To him.
Have I not manag'd my contrivance well,
To try your Love, and make you doubt of mine?
Bert.
Then was it but a Tryal?
Methinks I start as from some dreadfull Dream;
And often ask my self, if yet I wake.
(Aside.)
This turns too quick to be without Design;
I'll sound the bottom of't e'er I believe.
Qu.
I find your Love; and wou'd reward it too,
But anxious Fears solicit my weak breast:
I fear my People's Faith:
That hot mouth'd Beast that bears against the Curb,
Hard to be broken even by lawfull Kings;
But harder by Usurpers:
Judge then, my Lord, with all these Cares opprest,
If I can think of Love.
Bert.
Believe me, Madam,
These Jealousies, how ever large they spread,
Have but one Root, the old, imprison'd King;
Whose Lenity first pleas'd the gaping Crowd:
But when long tried, and found supinely good,
Like Aesop's Logg, they leapt upon his Back:
Your Father knew 'em well; and when he mounted,
He rein'd 'em strongly and he spurr'd them hard;
And, but he durst not doe it all at once,
He had not left alive this patient Saint,
This Anvil of Affronts, but sent him hence,
To hold a peacefull Branch of Palm above,
And hymn it in the Quire.
Page 40Qu.
You 've hit upon the very String, which touch'd,
Echoes the Sound and Jars within my Soul;
There lies my Grief.
Bert.
So long as there's a Head,
Thither will all the mounting Spirits fly;
Lop that but off; and then—
Qu.
My Vertue shrinks from such an horrid Act.
Bert.
This 'tis to have a Vertue out of season.
Mercy is good; a very good dull Vertue;
But Kings mistake its timeing; and are mild,
When manly Courage bids 'em be severe:
Better be cruel once then anxious ever:
Remove this threatning Danger from your Crown;
And then securely take the man you love.
Qu.
(walking aside.)
Ha! let me think of that: the Man I love?
'Tis true, this Murther is the onely means
That can secure my Throne to Torrismond.
Nay more, this Execution done by Bertran,
Makes him the Object of the People's Hate.
Bert.
(Aside.)
The more she thinks, 'twill work the stronger in her.
Qu.
(Aside.)
How eloquent is Mischief to persuade!
Few are so wicked as to take delight
In Crimes unprofitable▪ nor do I:
If then I break divine and humane Laws,
No Bribe but Love cou'd gain so bad a Cause.
Qu.
'Tis of deep Concernment,
And I a Woman ignorant and weak:
I leave it all to you, think what you doe,
You doe for him I love.
Bert.
(Aside.)
For him she loves?
She nam'd not me; that may be Torrismond,
Whom she has thrice in private seen this day:
Then I am fairly caught in my own Snare.
I'll think again—Madam, it shall be done;
And mine be all the blame.
[Exit Bertr.
Qu.
O, that it were! I wou'd not doe this Crime,
And yet▪ like Heaven, permit it to be done.
〈…〉•ood grosly cheat us with Free-will:
〈…〉•hat, but what Heaven first decreed?
Page 41
Our Actions then are neither good nor ill,
Since from eternal Causes they proceed:
Our Passions, Fear and Anger, Love and Hate,
Meer sensless Engines that are mov'd by Fate;
Like Ships on stormy Seas, without a Guide,
Tost by the Winds, and driven by the Tyde.
Enter Torrismond.
Tor.
Am I not rudely bold, and press too often
Into your presence, Madam? If I am—
Qu.
No more; lest I shou'd chide you for your stay:
Where have you been? and, How cou'd you suppose
That I cou'd live these two long hours without you?
Tor.
O, words to charm an Angel from his orb!
Welcome, as kindly Showers to long parch'd Earth!
But I have been in such a dismal place
Where Joy ne'er enters, which the Sun ne'er cheers:
Bound in with Darkness, over-spread with Damps:
Where I have seen (if I cou'd say, I saw)
The good old King majestick in his Bonds,
And 'midst his Griefs most venerably great:
By a dim winking Lamp, which feebly broke
The gloomy Vapors, he lay stretch'd along
Upon the unwholesom Earth; his Eyes fix'd upward:
And ever and anon a silent Tear
Stole down and trickl'd from his hoary Beard.
Qu.
O Heaven, what have I done! my gentle Love,
Here end thy sad discourse, and, for my sake,
Cast off these fearfull melancholy thoughts.
Tor.
My Heart is wither'd at that piteous Sight,
As early Blossoms are with Eastern blasts:
He sent for me, and, while I rais'd his Head,
He threw his aged Arms about my Neck;
And, seeing that I wept, he press'd me close:
So, leaning Cheek to Cheek and Eyes to Eyes,
We mingled Tears in a dumb Scene of Sorrow.
Qu.
Forbear: you know not how you wound my Soul.
Tor.
Can you have Grief, and not have Pity too?
He told me, when my Father did return,
He had a wondrous Secret to disclose:
Page 42
He kiss'd me, bless'd me, nay, he call'd me Son;
He prais'd my Courage, pray'd for my Success:
He was so true a Father of his Countrey,
To thank me for defending ev'n his Foes,
Because they were his Subjects.
Qu.
If they be; then what am I?
Tor.
The Sovereign of my Soul, my Earthly Heaven.
Tor.
You are so beautifull,
So wondrous fair, you justifie Rebellion:
As if that faultless Face could make no Sin,
But Heaven, with looking on it, must forgive.
Qu.
The King must dye, he must, my Torrismond;
Though Pity softly plead within my Soul,
Yet he must dye, that I may make you great,
And give a Crown in dowry with my Love.
Tor.
Perish that Crown—on any Head but yours;—
O, recollect your Thoughts!
Shake not his Hour glass, when his hasty Sand
Is ebbing to the last:
A little longer, yet a little longer,
And Nature drops him down, without your Sin,
Like mellow Fruit, without a Winter Storm.
Qu.
Let me but doe this one Injustice more:
His Doom is past; and, for your sake, he dyes.
Tor.
Wou'd you, for me, have done so ill an Act,
And will not doe a good one?
Now, By your Joys on Earth, your Hopes in Heaven,
O spare this Great, this Good, this Aged King;
And spare your Soul the Crime!
Qu.
The Crime's not mine;
'Twas first propos'd, and must be done, by Bertran,
Fed with false hopes to gain my Crown and Me:
I, to inhance his Ruin, gave no leave;
But barely bad him think, and then resolve.
Tor.
In not forbidding, you command the Crime;
Think, timely think, on the last dreadfull day;
How will you tremble there to stand expos'd,
And formost in the rank of guilty Ghosts
That must be doom'd for Murther; think on Murther:
Page 43
That Troop is plac'd apart from common Crimes;
The damn'd themselves start wide, and shun that Band,
As far more black and more forlorn then they.
Qu.
'Tis terrible, it shakes, it staggers me;
I knew this Truth, but I repell'd that Thought;
Sure there is none but fears a future state;
And, when the most obdurate swear they do not,
Their trembling Hearts bely their boasting Tongues.
Enter Teresa.
Send speedily to Bertran; charge him strictly
Not to proceed, but wait my farther Pleasure.
Ter.
Madam, he sends to tell you, Tis perform'd.
[Exit Teresa.
Tor.
Ten thousand Plagues consume him, Furies drag him,
Fiends tear him; Blasted be the Arm that strook,
The Tongue that order'd;—Onely She be spar'd
That hindred not the Deed. O, where was then
The Power that guards the Sacred Lives of Kings?
Why slept the Lightning and the Thunder-bolts,
Or bent their idle rage on Fields and Trees,
When Vengeance call'd 'em here?
Qu.
Sleep that Thought too,
'Tis done, and since 'tis done, 'tis past recall:
And since 'tis past recall, must be forgotten.
Tor.
O, never, never, shall it be forgotten;
High Heaven will not forget it, after Ages
Shall with a fearfull Curse remember ours;
And Bloud shall never leave the Nation more!
Qu.
His Body shall be Royally interr'd,
And the last Funeral Pomps adorn his Hearse;
I will my self (as I have Cause too just)
Be the chief Mourner at his Obsequies:
And yearly fix on the revolving day
The solemn marks of Mourning, to attone
And expiate my Offences.
Tor.
Nothing can,
But Bloudy Vengeance on that Traitor's Head,
Which, dear departed Spirit, here I vow.
Qu.
Here end our Sorrows, and begin our Joys:
Page 44
Love calls, my
Torrismond; though Hate has rag'd
And rul'd the day, yet Love will rule the night.
The spitefull Stars have shed their Venom down,
And now the peacefull Planets take their turn.
This Deed of Bertran's has remov'd all Fears,
And giv'n me just occasion to refuse him.
What hinders now, but that the holy Priest
In secret join our mutual Vows? and then
This night, this happy night, is yours and mine.
Tor.
Be still my Sorrows; and, be loud my Joys.
Fly to the utmost Circles of the Sea
Thou furious Tempest that hast tost my mind,
And leave no thought, but Leonora, there.—
What's this I feel aboding in my Soul?
As if this day were fatal; be it so;
Fate shall but have the Leavings of my love:
My Joys are gloomy, but withall are great;
The Lion, though he see the Toils are set,
Yet, pinch'd with raging Hunger, scowrs away,
Hunts in the Face of Danger all the day;
At night, with sullen pleasure, grumbles o'er his Prey.
[Exeunt ambo.
The End of the Third Act.
ACT IV.
SCENE, Before Gomez his Door.
Enter Lorenzo, Dominic, and two Souldiers at a distance.
Dom.
I'LL not wag an ace farther: The whole World shall not
bribe me to it; for my Conscience will digest these gross
Enormities no longer.
Lor.
How, thy Conscience not digest 'em! There's ne'er a
Fryar in Spain can show a Conscience that comes near it for Di∣gestion:
it digested Pimping when I sent thee with my Letter:
and it digested Perjury when thou swor'st thou didst not know me:
I'm sure it has digested me Fifty pound of as hard Gold as is in
all Barbary: Prithy, why shouldst thou discourage Fornication,
when thou knowest thou lovest a sweet young Girl?
Dom.
Away, away; I do not love 'em;—phau; no,—spits.
I do not love a pretty Girl;—you are so waggish;—spits again.
Lor.
Why, thy mouth waters at the very mention of them.
Dom.
You take a mighty pleasure in Defamation, Colonel;
but I wonder what you find in running restless up and down,
breaking your Brains, emptying your Purse, and wearing out
your Body with hunting after unlawfull Game.
Lor.
Why there's the Satisfaction on't.
Dom.
This Incontinency may proceed to Adultery, and Adul∣tery
to Murther, and Murther to Hanging; and there's the Satis∣faction
on't.
Lor.
I'll not hang along, Fryar; I'm resolv'd to peach thee be∣fore
thy Superiours for what thou hast done already.
Dom.
I 'm resolv'd to forswear it if you doe: Let me advise
you better, Colonel, then to accuse a Church-man to a Church-man:
in the common Cause we are all of a piece; we hang to∣gether.
Lor.
(Aside.)
If you don't, it were no matter if you did.
Dom.
Nay, if you talk of Peaching, I'll peach first, and see
whose Oath will be believ'd; I'll trounce you for offering to cor∣rupt
my Honesty, and bribe my Conscience: you shall be sum∣mon'd
by an host of Paratours; you shall be sentenc'd in the Spi∣ritual
Page 44〈1 page duplicate〉Page 45〈1 page duplicate〉Page 46
Court; you shall be excommunicated; you shall be out∣law'd;
—and—
Here Lorenzo takes a Purse, and plaies
with it, and, at last, lets the Purse
fall chinking on the ground; which the
Fryar eyes.
In another tone. I say a man might doe this now, if he were
maliciously dispos'd, and had a mind to bring matters to extre∣mity;
but, considering that you are my Friend, a Person of Ho∣nour,
and a worthy good charitable Man, I wou'd rather dye a
thousand deaths then disoblige you.
Lorenzo takes up the Purse, and poures
it into the Fryar's sleeve.
Nay, Good Sir; nay, Dear Colonel; O Lord, Sir, what are
you doing now! I profess this must not be: without this I wou'd
have serv'd you to the uttermost; pray command me: a jealous,
foul-mouth'd Rogue this Gomez is: I saw how he us'd you, and
you mark'd how he us'd me too: O he's a bitter man; but we'll
join our Forces; ah, shall we, Colonel? we'll be reveng'd on him
with a witness.
Lor.
But how shall I send her word to be ready at the door,
(for I must reveal it in Confession to you,) that I mean to carry
her away this evening, by the help of these two Souldiers? I
Know Gomez suspects you, and you will hardly gain admittance.
Dom.
Let me alone; I fear him not; I am arm'd with the Au∣thority
of my cloathing; yonder I see him keeping Centry at
his door: have you never seen a Citizen, in a cold morning, clap∣ping
his sides, and walking forward and backward a mighty
pace before his Shop? but I'll gain the Pass in spight of his sus∣picion;
stand you aside, and do but mark how I accost him.
Lor.
If he meet with a repulse, we must throw off the Foxe's
skin, and put on the Lion's, come, Gentlemen, you'll stand by me.
Souldier, Do not doubt us, Colonel.
They retire all three to a corner of the Stage, Dominic goes to the door where Gomez stands.
Dom.
Good even Gomez, how does your Wife?
Gom.
Just as you wou'd have her, thinking no nothing, but her
dear Colonel, and conspiring Cuckoldom against me.
Dom.
I dare say you wrong her, she is employing her thoughts
how to cure you of your jealousie.
Dom.
By your leave, Gomez; I have some Spiritual Advice to
impart to her on that Subject.
Gom.
You may spare your Instructions if you please, Father,
She has no farther need of them.
Dom.
How, no need of them! Do you speak in Riddles?
Gom.
Since you will have me speak plainer; she has profited
so well already by your Counsel, that she can say her Lesson
without your teaching: Do you understand me now?
Dom.
I must not neglect my duty, for all that; once again, Go∣mez,
by your leave.
Gom.
She's a little indispos'd at present, and it will not be con∣venient
to disturb her.
Dominic offers to go by him, but t'other
stands before him.
Dom.
Indispos'd, say you? O, it is upon those occasions that a
Confessor is most necessary; I think it was my good Angel that
sent me hither so opportunely.
Gom.
Ay, whose good Angels sent you hither, that you best
know, Father.
Dom.
A word or two of Devotion will do her no harm I'm
sure.
Gom.
A little Sleep will doe her more good I'm sure: You
know she disburthen'd her Conscience but this morning to you.
Dom.
But, if she be ill this afternoon, she may have new occa∣sion
to confess.
Gom.
Indeed, as you order matters with the Colonel, she may
have occasion of confessing her self every hour.
Dom.
Pray, how long has she been sick?
Gom.
Lord, you will force a man to speak; why ever since
your last Defeat.
Dom.
This can be but some light Indisposition, it will not last,
and I may see her.
Gom.
How, not last! I say, It will last, and it shall last; she
shall be sick these seven or eight days, and perhaps longer, as I see
occasion: what; I know the mind of her Sickness a little better
then you doe.
Dom.
I find then, I must bring a Doctor.
Gom.
And he'll bring an Apothecary with a chargeable long
bill of Ana's: those of my Family have the Grace to dye cheaper:
Page 48
in a word, Sir Dominic, we understand one anothers business
here; I am resolv'd to stand like the Swiss of my own Family, to de∣fend
the entrance; you may mumble over your Pater Nosters if
you please, and try if you can make my doors fly open, and batter
down my walls with Bell, Book, and Candle; but I am not of
opinion that you are holy enough to commit Miracles.
Dom.
Men of my Order are not to be treated after this man∣ner.
•om.
I wou'd treat the Pope and all his Cardinals in the same
manner, if they offer'd to see my Wife without my leave.
Dom.
I excommunicate thee from the Church, if thou dost not
open, there's Promulgation coming out.
Gom.
And I excommunicate you from my Wife, if you go to
that; there's Promulgation for Promulgation, and Bull for Bull;
and so I leave you to recreate your self with the end of an old
Song—and Sorrow came to the old Fryar.
[Exit Gomez.
Lorenzo comes to him.
Lor.
I will not ask you your Success; for I over-heard part of
it, and saw the Conclusion; I find we are now put upon our last
Trump; the Fox is earth'd, but I shall send my two Terriers in
after him.
Souldier,
I warrant you, Colonel, we'll unkennel him.
Lor.
And make what haste you can to bring out the Lady:
what say you, Father, Burglary is but a venial Sin among Soul∣diers.
Dom.
I shall absolve them, because he is an enemy of the
Church—there is a Proverb, I confess, which saies, That
Dead-men tell no Tales; but let your Souldiers apply it at their
own Perils.
Lor.
What, take away a man's Wife, and kill him too! the
Wickedness of this old Villain startles me, and gives me a twinge
for my own Sin; though it come far short of his: hark you
Souldiers, be sure you use as little Violence to him as is possible.
Dom.
Hold a little, I have thought better how to secure him,
with less danger to us.
Lor.
O Miracle, the Fryar is grown conscientious!
Dom.
The old King you know is just murther'd, and the per∣sons
that did it are unknown; let the Souldiers seize him for one
of the Assassinates, and let me alone to accuse him afterwards.
Page 49Lor.
I cry thee mercy with all my heart, for suspecting a Fry∣ar
of the least good-nature; what, wou'd you accuse him wrong∣fully?
Dom.
I must confess, 'tis wrongfull quoad hoc, as to the Fact
it self; but 'tis rightfull quoad hunc, as to this Heretical Rogue,
whom we must dispatch: he has rail'd against the Church, which
is a fouler Crime than the murther of a Thousand Kings; Om∣ne
majus continet in se minus: He that is an Enemie to the Church,
is an Enemie unto Heaven; and he that is an Enemie to Heaven,
wou'd have kill'd the King, if he had been in the Circumstances
of doing it: so it is not wrongfull to accuse him.
Lor.
I never knew a Church-man, if he were personally of∣fended,
but he wou'd bring in Heaven by hook or crook into his
Quarrel. Souldiers, Doe as you were first order'd.
[Exeunt Souldiers.
Dom.
What was't you order'd 'em? Are you sure it's safe, and
not scandalous?
Lor.
Somewhat near your•own Design, but not altogether so
mischievous; the People are infinitely discontented, as they have
reason; and Mutinies there are, or will be, against the Queen;
now I am content to put him thus far into the Plot, that he should
be secur'd as a Traitor; but he shall onely be Prisoner at the
Souldiers quarters; and when I am out of reach, he shall be
releas'd.
Dom.
And what will become of me then? for when he is free
he will infallibly accuse me.
Lor.
Why then, Father, you must have recourse to your infal∣lible
Church-remedies, Lie impudently, and Swear devoutly, and,
as you told me but now, let him try whose Oath will be first be∣liev'd:
Retire; I hear 'em coming.
[They withdraw.]
Enter the Souldiers with Gomez strugling on their backs.
Gom.
Help, good Christians, help Neighbours; my House
is broken open by force; and I am ravish'd, and am like to be
assassinated; what do you mean Villains? will you carry me a∣way
like a Pedler's Pack upon your backs? will you murther a
man in plain day-light?
First Souldier,
No: But we'll secure you for a Traitor; and
for being in a Plot against the State.
Gom.
Who, I in a Plot! O Lord! O Lord! I never durst be
Page 50
in a Plot: why, how can you in Conscience suspect a rich Citi∣zen
of so much wit as to make a Plotter? there are none but poor
Rogues, and those that can't live without it, that are in Plots.
Second S•uldier,
Away with him, away with him.
Gom.
O, my Gold! my Wife! my Wife! my Gold! As I hope
to be sav'd now, I know no more of the Plot than they that made
it.
[They carry him off, and exeunt.
Lor.
Thus far have we sail'd with a merry gale, and now we
have the Cape of good Hope in sight; the Trade wind is our own
if we can but double it.
[He looks out.
(Aside.)
Ah, my Father and Pedro stand at the corner of the
Street with company, there's no stirring till they are past!
Enter Elvira with a Casket.
Elvi.
Am I come at last into your Arms?
Lor.
Fear nothing; the Adventure's ended; and the Knight
may carry off the Lady safely.
Elvi.
I'm so overjoy'd, I can scarce believe I am at liberty;
but stand panting, like a Bird that has often beaten her Wings in
vain against her Cage, and at last dares hardly venture out though
she sees it open.
Dom.
Lose no time, but make haste while the way is free for
you; and thereupon I give you my Benediction.
Lor.
'Tis not so free as you suppose; for there's an old Gentle∣man
of my acquaintance that blocks up the passage at the corner
of the street.
Dom.
What have you gotten there under your Arm, Daughter?
somewhat I hope that will bear your Charges in your Pilgri∣mage.
Lor.
The Fryar has an Hawk's eye to Gold and Jewels.
Elvi.
Here's that will make you dance without a Fiddle, and
provide better Entertainment for us then Hedges in Summer,
and Barns in Winter; here's the very Heart and Soul, and Life
Bloud of Gomez; Pawns in abundance, old Gold of Widows, and
new Gold of Prodigals, and Pearls and Diamonds of Court Ladys,
till the next Bribe helps their Husbands to redeem 'em.
Dom.
They are the Spoils of the Wicked, and the Church en∣dows
you with 'em.
Lor.
And, Faith, we'll drink the Churche's Health out of them.
But all this while I stand on Thorns; prithe, Dear, look out, and
Page 51
see if the coast be free for our Escape; for I dare not peep for fear
of being known.
{Elvira goes to look, and Gomez comes run∣ning
in upon her: she shrieks out.
Gom.
Thanks to my Stars, I have recover'd my own Territo∣ries
—What do I see! I'm ruin'd! I'm undone! I'm betray'd!
Dom.
(Aside.)
What a hopefull Enterprize is here spoil'd?
Gom.
O, Colonel, are you there? and you, Fryar? nay, then I
find how the World goes.
Lor.
Cheer up man; thou art out of jeopardy; I heard thee
crying out just now; and came running in full speed with the
Wings of an Eagle and the Feet of a Tyger to thy rescue.
Gom.
Ay, you are alwaies at hand to doe me a Courtesie with
your Eagle's Feet, and your Tyger's Wings: and, What were you
here for, Fryar?
Dom.
To interpose my Spiritual Authority in your behalf.
Gom.
And why did you shriek out, Gentlewoman?
Elvi.
'Twas for Joy at your Return.
Gom.
And that Casket under your Arm, for what end and pur∣pose?
Elvi.
Onely to preserve it from the Thieves.
Gom.
And you came running out of doors—
Elvi.
Onely to meet you, sweet Husband.
Gom.
A fine Evidence sum'd up among you; thank you hear∣tily;
you are all my Friends: the Colonel was walking by acci∣dentally,
and, hearing my voice, came in to save me; the Fryar,
who was hobling the same way too, accidentally again, and not
knowing of the Colonel, I warrant you, he comes in to pray for
me; and my faithfull Wife runs out of doors to meet me with all
my Jewels under her Arm, and shrieks out for Joy at my return:
but if my Father-in-law had not met your Souldiers, Colonel, and
deliver'd me in the nick, I shou'd neither have found a Friend nor
a Fryar here, and might have shriek'd out for joy my self for the
loss of my Jewels and my Wife.
Dom.
Art thou an Infidel? Wilt thou not believe us?
Gom.
Such Church-men as you wou'd make any man an Infi∣del:
Get you into your Kennel, Gentlewoman; I s•all thank you
within-doors for your safe custody of my Jewels and your own.
[He thrusts his Wife off the Stage. Exit Elvira.
Page 52
As for you, Colonel Huff-cap, we shall trie before a Civil Magi∣strate
who's the greater Plotter of us two, I against the State, or
you against the Petticoate.
Lor.
Nay, if you will complain, you shall for some thing.
[Beats him.
Gom.
Murther! murther! I give up the Ghost! I am destroy'd!
help! murther! murther!
Dom.
Away, Colonel, let us •ly for our Lives; the neighbours
are coming out with Forks and •ire-shovels and Spits and other
domestick Weapons; the Militia of a whole Alley is rais'd a∣gainst
us.
Lor.
This is but the Interest of my Debt, Master Usurer, the
Principal shall be paid you at our next meeting.
Dom.
Ah, if your Souldiers had but dispatch'd him, his Tongue
had been laid a sleep, Colonel; but this comes of not following
good counsel; ah—
[Exeunt Lor. and Fryar severally.
Gom.
I'll be reveng'd of him if I dare; but he's such a ter∣rible
Fellow that my mind misgives me; I shall tremble when I
have him before the Judge: all my Misfortunes come together:
I have been robb'd, and cuckolded, and ravish'd, and beaten in one
quarter of an hour; my poor Limbs smart, and my poor Head
akes: ay, do, do, smart Limb, ake Head, and sprout Horns; but
I'll be hang'd before I'll pity you: you must needs be married,
must ye? there's for that,
(beats his own Head)
and to a fine,
young, modish Lady, must ye? there's for that too; and, at three∣score,
you old, doting Cuckhold, take that remembrance—a
fine time of day for a man to be bound Prentice, when he is past
using of his Trade; to set up an equipage of Noise, when he has
most need of Quiet; instead of her being under Covert-baron, to
be under Covert-feme my self; to have my Body disabl'd, and
my Head fortified; and, lastly, to be crowded into a narrow Box
with a shrill Trebble▪
That with one Blast through the whole House does bound,
And first taught Speaking-trumpets how to sound.
[Exit Gomez.
SCENE, The Court.
Enter Raymond, Alphonso, Pedro.
•aym.
Are these, are these, ye Powers, the promis'd Joys,
Page 53
With which I flatter'd my long tedious absence,
To find, at my return, my Master murther'd?
O, that I could but weep to vent my Passion!
But this dry Sorrow burns up all my Tears.
Alph.
Mourn inward, Brother; 'tis observ'd at Cour•
Who weeps, and who wears black; and your Return
Will fix all Eyes on every Act of yours,
To see how you resent King Sancho's Death.
Raym.
What generous man can live with that Constraint
Upon his Soul, to bear, much less to flatter
A Court like this! can I sooth Tyranny?
Seem pleas'd to see my Royal Master murther'd,
His Crown usurp'd, a Distaff in the Throne,
A Council made of such as dare not speak,
And could not if they durst; whence honest men
Banish themselves for shame of being there:
A Government that, knowing not true wisedom,
Is scorn'd abroad, and lives on Tricks at home?
Alph.
Vertue must be thrown off, 'tis a coarse garment▪
Too heavy for the sunshine of a Court.
Raym.
Well then, I will dissemble for an end
So great, so pious, as a just Revenge:
You'll join with me.
Alphon.
No honest man but must.
Pedro,
What Title has this Queen but Lawless Force?
And Force must pull her down.
Alphon.
Truth is, I pity Leonora's case;
Forc'd, for her Safety, to commit a Crime
Which most her Soul abhors.
Raym.
All she has done, or e'er can doe, of good,
This one black Deed has damn'd.
Pedro,
You'll hardly gain your Son to our Design.
Pedro,
I want time to unriddle it:
Put on your tother Face; the Queen approches.
Enter the Queen, Bertran, and Attendants.
Raym.
And that accursed Bertran
Stalks close behind her, like a Witche's Fiend,
Pressing to be employ'd; stand, and observe them.
Page 54Queen,
to Bertran:
Bury'd in private, and so suddenly!
It crosses my Design, which was t'allow
The Rites of Funeral fitting his Degree,
With all the Pomp of mourning.
Bert.
It was not safe:
Objects of pity, when the cause is new,
Would work too fiercely on the giddy Crowd:
Had Caesar's body never been expos'd,
Brutus had gain'd his Cause.
Queen,
Then, was he lov'd?
Bertran,
O, never man so much, for Saint-like goodness.
Pedro,
(Aside.)
Had bad men fear'd him but as good men lov'd him,
He had not yet been sainted.
Queen,
I wonder how the People bear his Death,
Bertr.
Some discontent there are; some idle murmurs.
Pedro,
How, Idle Murmurs! Let me plainly speak:
The doors are all shut up; the wealthier sort,
With Arms a-cross, and Hats upon their Eyes,
Walk to and fro before their silent Shops:
Whole droves of Lenders crowd the Banquers doors,
To call in Money; those who have none, mark
Where Money goes; for when they rise 'tis Plunder:
The Rabble gather round the Man of News,
And listen with their Mouths;
Some tell; some hear, some judge of News, some make it;
And he who lies most loud, is most believ'd.
Queen,
This may be dangerous.
Raym.
(Aside.)
Pray Heaven it may.
Bertr.
If one of you must fall;
Self-preservation is the first of Laws:
And if, when Subjects are oppress'd by Kings,
They justifie Rebellion by that Law,
As well may Monarchs turn the edge of right
To cut for them, when self-defence requires it.
Queen,
You place such Arbitrary Power in Kings,
That I much fear, if I should make you one,
You'll make your self a Tyrant; let these know
By what Authority you did this Act.
Bertran,
You much surprize me to demand that Question:
But, since Truth must be told, 'Twas by your own.
Page 55Queen,
Produce it; or, By Heaven, your Head shall answer
The Forfeit of your Tongue.
Raym.
(Aside.)
Brave mischief towards.
Bertr.
No, I confess, you bad me not in words;
The Dial spoke not, but it made shrewd signs,
And pointed full upon the stroke of Murther:
Yet this you said,
You were a woman ignorant and weak,
So left it to my care.
Queen,
What if I said,
I was a woman ignorant and weak,
Were you to take th'advantage of my Sex,
And play the Devil to tempt me? You contriv'd,
You urg'd, you drove me headlong to your toiles;
And if, much tir'd, and frighted more, I paus'd;
Were you to make my Doubts your own Commission?
Bertr.
This 'tis to serve a Prince too faithfully;
Who, free from Laws himself, will have that done,
Which, not perform'd, brings us to sure Disgrace;
And, if perform'd, to Ruin.
Queen,
This 'tis to counsel things that are unjust:
First, to debauch a King to break his Laws,
(Which are his safety,) and then seek Protection
From him you have endanger'd; but, Just Heaven,
When Sins are judg'd, will damn the tempting Devil
More deep than those he tempted.
Bert.
If Princes not protect th•ir Ministers,
What man will dare to serve them?
Queen,
None will dare
To serve them ill, when they are left to Laws;
But when a Counsellor, to save himself,
Would lay Miscarriages upon his Prince,
Exposing him to publick Rage and Hate;
O, 'tis an Act as infamously base,
As should a common Souldier sculk behind,
And thrust his General in the Front of War:
It shews he onely serv'd himself before,
And had no sense of Honour, Country, King;
Page 56
But center'd on himself; and us'd his Master
As Guardians do their Wards, with shows of care,
But with intent to sell the publick Safety,
And pocket up his Prince.
Pedro,
(Aside.)
Well said, i'faith;
This Speech is e•en too good for an Usurper.
Bertr.
I see for whom I must be sacrific'd;
And, had I not been sotted with my zeal,
I might have found it sooner.
Queen,
From my sight!
The Prince who bears an Insolence like this
Is such an Image of the Powers above,
As is the Statue of the Thundring God,
Whose Bolts the Boys may play with.
Bertran,
Unreveng'd
I will not fall, nor single.
[Exit Bertran cum suis.
Queen to Raymond, who kisses her hand.
Qu.
Welcome, welcome:
I saw you not before▪ one Honest Lord
Is hid with ease among a Crowd of Courtiers:
How can I be too gratefull to the Father
Of such a Son as Torrismond?
Raym.
His Actions were but Duty.
Queen,
Yet, My Lord,
All have not paid that Debt like noble Torrismond;
You hear how Bertran brands me with a Crime,
Of which, your Son can witness, I am free;
I sent to stop the Murther, but too late;
For Crimes are swift, but Penitence is slow;
The bloudy Bertran, diligent in ill,
Flew to prevent the soft returns of Pity.
Raym.
O cursed Haste of making sure a Sin!
Can you forgive the Traytor?
Queen,
Never, never:
'Tis written here in Characters so deep
That seven years hence, ('till then should I not meet him,)
And in the Temple then, I'll drag him thence,
Ev'n from the Holy Altar to the Block.
Raym.
(Aside.)
She's fir'd, as I would wish her; aid me Justice,
Page 57
As all my ends are thine, to gain this Point;
And ruin both at once:—It wounds indeed,
[To her.
To bear Affronts too great to be forgiven,
And not have Power to punish; yet one way
There is to ruin Bertran.
Queen,
O, there's none;
Except an Host from Heaven can make such haste
To save my Crown as he will doe to seize it:
You saw he came surrounded with his Friends,
And knew besides our Army was remov'd
To quarters too remote for sudden use.
Raym.
Yet you may give Commission
To some Bold man whose Loyalty you trust,
And let him raise the Train-bands of the City.
Queen,
Gross feeders, Lion talkers, Lamb-like fighters.
Raym.
You do not know the Virtues of your City,
What pushing force they have; some popular Chief,
More noisie than the rest, but cries Halloo,
And in a trice the bellowing Herd come out;
The Gates are barr'd, the Ways are barricado'd,
And One and All's the Word; true Cocks of th' Game,
That never ask for what, or whom, they fight;
But turn 'em out, and shew 'em but a Foe,
Cry Liberty, and that's a Cause of Quarrel.
Queen,
There may be Danger, in that boist'rous Rout:
Who knows when Fires are kindled for my Foes,
But some new Blast of wind may turn those Flames
Against my Pallace Walls.
Raym.
But still their Chief
Must be some one whose Loyalty you trust.
Queen,
And who more proper for that Trust then you,
Whose Interests, though unknown to you, are mine?
Alphonso, Pedro, haste to raise the Rabble,
He shall appear to head 'em.
Raymon,
(Aside to Alphonso and Pedro,)
First seize Bertran,
And then insinuate to them that I bring
Their lawfull Prince to place upon the Throne.
Alphon.
Our lawfull Prince.
Raym.
Fear not; I can produce him.
Pedro
to Alph.
Now we want your Son
Lorenzo: what a migh∣ty Faction
Page 58
Would he make for us of the City Wives,
With, ô, dear Husband, my sweet honey Husband,
Won't you be for the Colonel? if you love me,
Be for the Colonel; ô he's the finest man!
[Exeunt Alphonso, Pedro.
Raym.
(Aside.)
So, now we have a Plot behind the Plot;
She thinks she's in the depth of my Design,
And that it's all for her, but time shall show,
She onely lives to help me ruin others,
And last, to fall her self.
Queen,
Now to you Raymond: Can you guess no reason
Why I repose such Confidence in you?
You needs must think
There's some more powerfull Cause then Loyalty:
Will you not speak to save a Lady's Blush?
Must I inform you 'tis for Torrismond,
That all this Grace is shown?
Raym.
(Aside.)
By all the Powers, worse, worse, then what I fear'd.
Queen,
And yet, what need I blush at such a Choice?
I love a man, whom I am proud to love,
And am well pleas'd my Inclination gives
What Gratitude would force; ô, pardon me;
I ne'er was covetous of Wealth before:
Yet think so vast a Treasure as your Son,
Too great for any private man's possession;
And him too rich a Jewel to be set
In vulgar metal, or for vulgar use.
Raym.
Arm me with Patience Heaven.
Queen,
How, Patience, Raymond!
What exercise of Patience have you here?
What find you in my Crown to be contemn'd?
Or in my Person loath'd? Have I, a Queen,
Past by my Fellow-rulers of the World,
Whose vying Crowns lay glittering in my way,
As if the World were pav'd with Diadems?
Have I refus'd their Bloud, to mix with yours,
And raise new Kings from so obscure a race,
Fate scarce knew where to find them when I call'd?
Have I heap'd on my Person, Crown and State,
To load the Scale, and weigh'd my self with Earth,
Page 59For you to spurn the Balance?
Raym.
Bate the last; and 'tis what I would say;
Can I, can any Loyal Subject see
With Patience such a stoop from Sovereignty,
An Ocean pour'd upon a narrow Brook?
My Zeal for you must lay the Father by,
And plead my Countrie's Cause against my Son.
What though his Heart be great, his Actions gallant;
He wants a Crown to poise against a Crown,
Birth to match Birth, and Power to balance Power.
Queen,
All these I have, and these I can bestow;
But he brings Worth and Vertue to my Bed;
And Vertue is the Wealth which Tyrants want:
I stand in need of one whose Glories may
Redeem my Crimes, ally me to his Fame,
Dispell the Factions of my Foes on Earth,
Disarm the Justice of the Powers above.
Raym.
The People never will endure this choice.
Queen,
If I endure it what imports it you?
Goe raise the Ministers of my Revenge,
Guide with your Breath this whirling Tempest round,
And see its Fury fall where I design;
At last a time for just Revenge is given;
Revenge the darling attribute of Heaven:
But man, unlike his Maker, bears too long;
Still more expos'd, the more he pardons Wrong;
Great in forgiving, and in suffering brave;
To be a Saint he makes himself a Slave.
[Exit Queen.
Raymond,
(solus,)
Marriage with
Torrismond! it must not be;
By Heaven, it must not be; or, if it be;
Law, Justice, Honour bid farwell to Earth;
For Heaven leaves all to Tyrants.
Enter Torrismond, who kneels to him.
Tor.
O, ever welcome, Sir,
But doubly now! you come in such a time,
As if propitious Fortune took a care
To swell my Tide of Joys to their full height,
And leave me nothing farther to desire.
Raym.
I hope I come in time, if not to make,
Page 60
At least, to save your Fortune and your Honour:
Take heed you steer your Vessel right, my Son,
This Calm of Heaven, this Mermayd's melody,
Into an unseen whirl-pool draws you fast,
And in a moment sinks you.
Tor.
Fortune cannot:
And Fate can scarce; I've made the Port already,
And laugh securely at the lazy storm
That wanted wings to reach me in the deep.
Your pardon, Sir; my duty calls me hence;
I go to find my Queen, my earthly Goddess,
To whom I owe my Hopes, my Life, my Love.
Raym.
You owe her more perhaps than you imagin;
Stay, I command you stay, and hear me first,
This hour's the very Crisis of your Fate,
Your Good or Ill, your Infamy or Fame;
And all the colour of your Life depends
On this important Now.
Tor.
I see no danger;
The City, Army, Court espouse my Cause;
And, more then all, the Queen with publick favour
Indulges my Pretensions to her Love.
Raym.
Nay, if possessing her can make you happy,
'Tis granted, nothing hinders your Design.
Tor.
If she can make me blest? she onely can:
Empire, and Wealth, and all she brings beside,
Are but the Train and Trappings of her Love:
The sweetest, kindest, truest of her Sex,
In whose Possession years roule round on years,
And Joys in Circles meet new Joys again:
Kisses, Embraces, Languishing and Death,
Still from each other, to each other move
To crown the various seasons of our Love:
And doubt you if such Love can make me happy?
Raym.
Yes, for I think you love your Honour more.
Tor.
And what can shock my Honour in a Queen?
Raym.
A Tyrant, an Usurper?
Tor.
Grant the be.
When from the Conquerour we hold our Lives,
We yield our selves his Subjects from that hour:
Page 61
For mutual Benefits make mutual Ties.
Raym.
Why, can you think I owe a Thief my Life,
Because he took it not by lawless Force?
What if he did not all the Ill he cou'd?
Am I oblig'd, by that, t'assist his Rapines,
And to maintain his Murthers?
Tor.
Not to maintain, but bear 'em unreveng'd;
Kings Titles commonly begin by Force,
Which Time wears off and mellows into Right:
So Power, which in one Age is Tyranny,
Is ripn'd in the next to true Succession:
She's in Possession.
Raym.
So Diseases are:
Shou'd not a lingring Fevor be remov'd;
Because it long has rag'd within my Bloud?
Do I rebell when I wou'd thrust it out?
What, shall I think the World was made for One,
And Men are born for Kings, as Beasts for Men;
Not for Protection, but to be devour'd?
Mark those who dote on Arbitrary Power,
And you shall find 'em either hot-brain'd Youth,
Or needy Bankrupts, servil in their greatness,
And Slaves to some, to lord it o'er the rest.
O baseness, to support a Tyrant Throne,
And crush your Free-born-brethren of the World!
Nay, to become a part of Usurpation;
To espouse the Tyrants Person and her Crimes,
And, on a Tyrant, get a Race of Tyrants
To be your Country's Curse in after Ages.
Tor.
I see no Crime in her whom I adore,
Or if I do, her Beauty makes it none:
Look on me as a man abandon'd o'er
To an eternal Lethargy of Love;
To Pull, and pinch, and wound me, cannot cure,
And but disturb the Quiet of my Death.
Raym.
O, Vertue! Vertue! what art thou become?
That men should leave thee for that Toy a Woman
Made from the dross and refuse of a Man;
Heaven took him sleeping when he made her too;
Had man been waking he had ne'er consented.
Some brave Conspiracy were ready form'd
To punish Tyrants and redeem the Land,
Cou'd you so far bely your Country's Hope,
As not to head the Party?
Tor.
How cou'd my Hand rebell against my Heart?
Raym.
How cou'd your Heart rebell against your Reason?
Tor.
No Honour bids me fight against my self;
The Royal Family is all extinct,
And she who reigns bestows her Crown on me▪
So must I be ungratefull to the Living,
To be but vainly pious to the Dead;
While you defraud your Offspring of their Fate.
Raym.
Mark who defraud their Offspring, you or I?
For know there yet survives the lawfull Heir
Of Sancho's bloud, whom when I shall produce,
I rest assur'd to see you pale with Fear
And Trembling at his Name.
Tor.
He must be more then Man who makes me tremble:
I dare him to the Field with all the ods
Of Justice on his side, against my Tyrant:
Produce your lawfull Prince, and you shall see
How brave a Rebell Love has made your Son.
Raym.
Read that: 'Tis with the Royal Signet sign'd,
And given me by the King when time shou'd serve
To be perus'd by you.
Torrismond reads.
I the King.
My youngest and alone surviving Son
Reported dead t' escape rebellious rage
Till happier times shall call his Courage forth▪
To break my Fetters or revenge my Fate
I will that Raymond educate as his,
And call him Torrismond—
If I am he, that Son, that Torrismond,
The World contains not so forlorn a Wretch!
Page 63Let never man believe he can be happy!
For when I thought my Fortune most secure,
One fatal moment tears me from my Joys:
And when two Hearts were joyn'd by mutual Love,
The Sword of Justice cuts upon the Knot,
And severs 'em for ever.
Tor.
O cruel man, to tell me that it must!
If you have any Pity in your Breast,
Redeem me from this Labyrinth of Fate,
And plunge me in my first Obscurity:
The Secret is alone between us two;
And though you wou'd not hide me from my self,
O, yet be kind, conceal me from the World,
And be my Father still.
Raym.
Your Lot's too glorious, and the Proof's too plain,
Now, in the name of Honour, Sir, I beg you
(Since I must use Authority no more)
On these old Knees I beg you, e'er I dye,
That I may see your Father's Death reveng'd.
Tor.
Why, 'tis the onely bus'ness of my Life;
My Order's issued to recall the Army,
And Bertran's Death resolv'd.
Raym.
And not the Queen's; ô She's the chief Offender!
Shall Justice turn her Edge within your Hand?
No, if she scape, you are your self the Tyrant,
And Murtherer of your Father.
Tor.
Cruel Fates,
To what have you referv'd me!
Tor.
Since you must know, but break, ô break my Heart,
Before I tell my Fatal Story out,
Th'Usurper of my Throne, my House's Ruin,
The Murtherer of my Father, is my Wife!
Raym.
O, Horrour! Horrour! after this Alliance▪
Let Tygers match with Hinds, and Wolfs with Sheep,
And every Creature couple with his Foe.
How vainly Man designs when Heaven opposes!
I bred you up to Arms, rais'd you to Power,
Permitted you to fight for this Usurper,
Page 64
Indeed to save a Crown, not her's, but yours,
All to make sure the Vengeance of this Day,
Which even this Day has ruin'd—one more question
Let me but ask, and I have done for ever:
Do you yet love the Cause of all your Woes,
Or, is she grown (as sure she ought to be)
More odious to your sight than Toads and Adders?
Tor.
O, there's the utmost Malice of my Fate,
That I am bound to hate, and born to love!
Raym.
No more:—Farwell my much lamented King.
(Aside,)
I dare not trust him with himself so far
To own him to the People as their King,
Before their Rage has finish'd my Designs
On Bertran and the Queen, but in Despight
Ev'n of himself I'll save him.
[Exit Raymond.
Tor.
'Tis but a moment since I have been King,
And weary on't already; I'm a Lover,
Am lov'd, possess; yet all these make me wretched;
And Heav'n has giv'n me Blessings for a Curse.
With what a load of Vengeance am I prest,
Yet never, never, can I hope for Re•t;
For when my heavy Burthen I remove,
The weight falls down, and crushes her I love.
[Exit Torrismond.
The End of the Fourth Act.
ACT V.
SCENE, A Bed-chamber.
Enter Torrismond.
Tor.
LOve, Justice, Nature, Pity and Revenge
Have kindled up a Wild-fire in my Breast,
And I am all a Civil-war within!
Enter Queen and Teresa at • distance.
My Leonora there!
Mine? Is she mine? My Father's Murtherer mine?
Oh! that I could with Honour love her more,
Or hate her less with Reason! See, she weeps;
Thinks me unkind, or false, and knows not why
I thus estrange my Person from her Bed:
Shall I not tell her? no: 'twill break her Heart:
She'll know too soon her own and my Misfortunes.
[Exit.
Queen,
He's gon, and I am lost; Didst thou not see
His sullen Eyes? how gloomily they glanc'd:
He look'd not like the Torrismond I lov'd.
Ter.
Can you not guess from whence this Change proceeds?
Queen,
No: there's the Grief, Teresa: Oh, Teresa!
Fain would I tell thee what I feel within,
But Shame and Modesty have ty'd my Tongue!
Yet, I will tell, that thou maiest weep with me.
How dear, how sweet his first Embraces were!
With what a Zeal he join'd his Lips to mine!
And suckt my Breath at every word I spoke,
As if he drew his Inspiration thence:
While both our Souls came upward to our Mouths,
As neighbouring Monarchs at their Borders meet:
I thought: Oh no; 'Tis false: I could not think;
'Twas neither Life nor Death, but both in one.
Ter.
Then sure his Transports were not less than yours.
Qu.
More, more! for by the high-hung Tapers light
Page 66
His very Eye-balls trembl'd with his Love,
And sparkl'd through their Casements humid Fires:
He sigh'd and kiss'd, breath'd short, and wou'd have spoke,
But was too fierce to throw away the time;
All he cou'd say was Love, and Leonora.
Ter.
How then can you suspect him lost so soon?
Qu.
Last night he flew not with a Bridegroom's haste,
Which eagerly prevents the pointed hour;
I told the Clocks, and watch'd the wasting Light,
And listned to each softly treading step,
In hope 'twas he: but still it was not he.
At last he came, but with such alter'd Looks,
So wild, so ghastly, as if some Ghost had met him;
All pale, and speechless, he survey'd me round;
Then, with a Groan, he threw himself a-bed,
But far from me, as far as he cou'd move,
And sigh'd, and toss'd, and turn'd, but still from me.
Queen,
Even all the live-long-night.
At last: (for, blushing, I must tell thee all,)
I press'd his Hand, and laid me by his Side,
He pull'd it back, as if he touch'd a Serpent.
With that I burst into a floud of Tears,
And ask'd him how I had offended him?
He answer'd nothing, but with Sighs and Groans,
So restless past the night: and at the Dawn
Leapt from the Bed, and vanish'd.
Ter.
Sighs and Groans,
Paleness and Trembling, all are signs of Love;
He onely fears to make you share his Sorrows.
Queen,
I wish 'twere so: but Love still doubts the worst;
My heavy Heart, the Prophetess of Woes,
Foreboads some ill at hand: To sooth my sadness
Sing me the Song which poor Olympia made
When false Bire•o left her.—
Page 67A SONG
I.
Farwell ungratefull Traytor,
Farwell my perjur'd Swain,
Let never injur'd Creature
Believe a Man again.
The Pleasure of Possessing
Surpasses all Expressing,
But 'tis too short a Blessing,
And Love too long a Pain.
II.
'Tis easie to deceive us
In pity of your Pain,
But when we love you leave us
To rail at you in vain.
Before we have descry'd it
There is no Bliss beside it,
But she that once has try'd it
Will never love again.
III.
The Passion you pretended
Was onely to obtain,
But when the Charm is ended
The Charmer you disdain.
Your Love by ours we measure
Till we have lost our Treasure,
But Dying is a Pleasure,
When Living is a Pain.
Re-enter Torrismond.
Tor.
Still she is here, and still I cannot speak;
But wander like some discontend Ghost
That oft appears, but is forbid to talke.
[Going again.
Queen,
O, Torrismond, if you resolve my Death,
You need no more but to go hence again;
Will you not speak?
Qu.
Speak! oh, speak!
Page 68
Your Anger wou'd be kinder than your Silence.
Queen,
Do not sigh, or tell me why you sigh?
Tor.
Why do I live, ye Powers?
Qu.
Why do I live, to hear you speak that word?
Some black•mouth'd Villain has defam'd my Vertue.
Tor.
No! No! Pray let me go.
Queen,
(kneeling)
You shall not goe:
By all the Pleasures of our Nuptial-bed,
It ever I was lov'd, though now I'm not,
By these true Tears, which from my wounded Heart
Bleed at my Eyes.—
Queen,
I will never rise,
I cannot chuse a better place to dye.
Tor.
Oh! I wou'd speak, but cannot.
Queen,
(rising)
Guilt keeps you silent then; you love me not:
What have I done? ye Powers, what have I done?
To see my Youth, my Beauty, and my Love
No sooner gain'd, but slighted and betray'd:
And like a Rose just gather'd from the Stalk,
But onely smelt, and cheaply thrown aside
To wither on the ground.
Tere.
For Heaven's sake, Madam, moderate your Passion.
Queen,
Why nam'st thou Heaven? there is no Heaven for me,
Despair, Death, Hell, have seiz'd my tortur'd Soul:
When I had rais'd his groveling Fate from ground,
To Pow'r and Love, to Empire and to Me;
When each Embrace was dearer than the first;
Then, then to be contemn'd; then, then thrown off;
It calls me old, and wither'd, and deform'd,
And loathsome: Oh! what Woman can bear Loathsome?
The Turtle flies not from his billing Mate,
He bills the closer: but ungratefull Man,
Base, barbarous Man, the more we raise our Love,
The more we pall, and cool, and kill his ardour.
Racks, Poison, Daggers, rid me but of Life;
And any Death is welcome.
Tor.
Be witness all ye Powers that know my Heart,
I would have kept the fatal Secret hid,
Page 69
But she has conquer'd, to her Ruin conquer'd:
Here, take this Paper, reade our Destinies;
Yet do not; but in kindness to your self,
Be ignorantly safe.
Qu.
No! give it me,
Even though it be the Sentence of my Death.
Tor.
Then see how much unhappy Love had made us.
O Leonora! Oh!
We two were born when sullen Planets reign'd;
When each the others Influence oppos'd,
And drew the Stars to Factions at our Birth.
Oh! better, better had it been for us
That we had never seen, or never lov'd.
Queen,
There is no Faith in Heaven, if Heaven says so,
You dare not give it.
Tor.
As unwillingly,
As I would reach out Opium to a Friend
Who lay in Torture, and desir'd to dye.
[Gives the Paper.
But now you have it, spare my sight the pain
Of seeing what a world of Tears it cost you:
Go silently enjoy your part of Grief,
And share the sad Inheritance with me.
Queen,
I have a thirsty Fevor in my Soul,
Give me but present Ease, and let me dye.
Exit Qu. and Teres.
Enter Lorenzo.
Lor.
Arm, arm, my Lord, the City Bands are up,
Drums beating, Colours flying, Shouts confus'd;
All clustring in a heap, like swarming Hives,
And rising in a moment.
Tor.
With design to punish Bertran, and revenge the King,
'Twas order'd so.
Lor.
Then you're betray'd, my Lord.
'Tis true, they block the Castle kept by Bertran,
But now they cry, Down with the Palace, Fire it,
Pull out th' usurping Queen.
Tor.
The Queen, Lorenzo! durst they name the Queen?
Lor.
If railing and reproching be to name her.
Tor.
O Sacrilege! Say quickly who commands
This vile blaspheming Rout?
Page 70Lor.
I'm loth to tell you,
But both our Fathers thrust 'em headlong on,
And bear down all before 'em.
Tor.
Death and Hell!
Somewhat must be resolv'd, and speedily,
How sayst thou, my Lorenzo? darst thou be
A Friend, and once forget thou art a Son,
To help me save the Queen?
Lor.
(Aside.)
Let me consider;
Bear Arms against my Father? he begat me;
That's true; but for whose sake did he beget me?
For his own sure enough: for me he knew not.
Oh! but says Conscience: Fly in Nature's Face?
But how if Nature fly in my Face first?
Then Nature's the Aggressor: Let her look to't—
—He gave me Life, and he may take it back:—
No, that's Boys play, say I.—
'Tis Policy for Son and Father to take different sides:
For then, Lands and Tenements commit no Treason.
(To Tor.)
Sir, upon mature consideration, I have found my Father
To be little better than a Rebel, and therefore I'll doe
My best to secure him for your sake; in hope you may
Secure him hereafter for my sake.
Tor.
Put on thy utmost speed to head the Troops
Which every moment I expect t'arrive:
Proclaim me, as I am, the lawfull King:
I need not caution thee for Raymond's Life,
Though I no more must call him Father now.
Lor.
(Aside.)
How! not call him Father?
I see Preferment alters a man strangely,
This may serve me for a Use of Instruction,
To cast off my Father when I am great.
Methought too he call'd himself the lawfull King;
Intimating sweetly that he knows what's what
With our Sovereign Lady: Well, if I rout my
Father, as I hope in Heaven I shall, I am in a fair
Way to be a Prince of the Bloud: Farwell General;
I'll bring up those that shall try what mettle there is in Orange-Tawny.
[Exit.]
Tor.
(at the door.)
Hast there, command the Guards be all drawn up
Page 71
Before the Palace gate.—By Heaven, I'll face
This Tempest, and deserve the Name of King.
O, Leonora, beauteous in thy Crimes,
Never were Hell and Heaven so match'd before!
Look upward, Fair, but as thou look'st on me;
Then all the Blest will begg that thou may'st live,
And even my Father's Ghost his Death forgive.
[Exit Tor.
SCENE The Palace-yard.
Drums and Trumpets within.
Enter Raymond, Alphonso, Pedro, and their Party.
Raym.
Now, valiant Citizens, the time is come
To show your Courage and your Loyalty:
You have a Prince of Sancho's Royal Bloud,
The Darling of the Heavens and Joy of Earth;
When he's produc'd, as soon he shall, among you;
Speak, what will you adventure to re-seat him
Upon his Father's Throne?
Omn.
Our Lives and Fortunes.
Raym.
What then remains to perfect our Success,
But o'er the Tyrant's Guards to force our way?
Drums and Trumpets on the other Side.
Enter Torrismond and his Party: as they are going to
fight, he speaks.
Tor.
to his,
Hold, hold your Arms.
Alph.
What means this Pause?
Ped.
Peace: Nature works within them.
[Tor & Ray. go apart.
Tor.
How comes it, good old Man, that we two meet
On these harsh terms! thou very reverend Rebel?
Thou venerable Traitor, in whose Face
And hoary Hairs Treason is sanctified;
And Sin's black dy seems blanch'd by Age to Vertue.
Raym.
What Treason is it to redeem my King.
And to reform the State?
Page 72Tor.
That's a stale Cheat,
The primitive Rebel, Lucifer, first us'd it,
And was the first Reformer of the Skyes.
Raym.
What if I see my Prince mistake a Poison,
Call it a Cordial? Am I then a Traitor,
Because I hold his Hand or break the Glass?
Tor.
How darst thou serve thy King against his Will?
Raym.
Because 'tis then the onely time to serve him.
Tor.
I take the blame of all upon my self,
Discharge thy weight on me.
Raym.
O, never, never!
Why, 'tis to leave a Ship tost in a Tempest
Without the Pilot's Care.
Tor.
I'll punish thee,
By Heaven, I will, as I wou'd punish Rebels,
Thou stubborn loyal Man.
Raym.
First let me see
Her punisht who misleads you from your Fame,
Then burn me, hack me, hew me into pieces,
And I shall dye well pleas'd.
Tor.
Proclaim my Title,
To save the effusion of my Subjects Bloud, and thou shalt still
Be as my Foster-father near my Breast,
And n•xt my Leonora.
Raym.
That word stabs me.
You shall be still plain Torrismond with me,
Th' Abetter, Partner, (if you like that name,)
The Husband of a Tyrant, but no King;
Till you deserve that Title by your Justice.
Tor.
Then, farwell Pity, I will be obey'd.
(To the people.)
Hear, you mistaken Men, whose Loyalty
Runs headlong into Treason: See your Prince,
In me behold your murther'd Sancho's Son;
Dismiss your Arms; and I forgive your Crimes.
Raym.
Believe him not; he raves; his words are loose
As 〈◊〉 of Sand, and scattering, wide from sense.
〈…〉 not me, his narural Father;
〈…〉 th• usurping Queen,
〈…〉 his Aie•• hopes,
〈…〉 his Head,
Page 73
And turns his Brains to Frenzy.
Raym.
Fall on, fall on, and hear him not:
But spare his Person for his Father's sake.
Ped.
Let me come, if he be mad, I have that shall cure him.
There's no Surgeon in all Arragon has so much
Dexterity as I have at breathing of the Temple-vein.
Omn.
Liberty, Liberty,—
[As they are ready to fight.
Enter Lorenzo and his Party.
Lor.
On forfeit of your Lives lay down your Arms.
Alph.
How, Rebel, art thou there?
Lor.
Take your Rebel back again Father mine.
The beaten Party are Rebels to the Conquerours.
I have been at hard-head with your butting Citizens;
I have routed your Herd; I have disperst them;
And now they are retreated quietly,
From their extraordinary Vocation of Fighting in
The Streets, to their ordinary Vocation of Cozening
In their Shops.
Tor.
to Raym.
You see 'tis vain contending with the Truth,
Acknowledge what I am.
Raym.
You are my King: wou'd you wou'd be your own;
But by a fatal fondness you betray
Your Fame and Glory to th' Usurper's Bed:
Enjoy the Fruits of Bloud and Parricide,
Take your own Crown from Leonora's Gift,
And hug your Father's Murtherer in your Arms.
Enter Queen and Teresa: Women.
Alph.
No more: behold the Queen.
Raym.
Behold the Basilisk of Torrismond,
That kills him with her eyes, I will speak on,
My Life is of no further use to me:
I would have chaffer'd it before for Vengeance:
Now let it go for Failing.
Tor.
(Aside.)
My Heart sinks in me while I hear him speak,
And every slackn'd fiber drops its hold,
Page 74
Like Nature letting down the Springs of Life:
So much the Name of Father aws me still.
Send off the Crowd:
For you, now I have conquer'd, I can hear with honour your De∣mands.
Lor.
to Alph.
Now, Sir, who proves the Traitor? My Conscience
Is true to me, it alwaies whispers right when
I have my Regiment to back it.
[Exeunt omnes praeter Tor. Ray. Leon.
Tor.
O Leonora! what can Love do more?
I have oppos'd your ill Fate to the utmost:
Combated Heaven and Earth to keep you mine:
And yet at last that Tyrant, Justice! Oh—
Queen,
'Tis past, 'tis past: and Love is ours no more:
Yet I complain not of the Powers above;
They made m'a Miser's feast of Happiness,
And cou'd not furnish out an•ther meal.
Now, by yon' Stars, by Heaven, and Earth, and Men;
By all my Foes at once; I swear, my Torrismond,
That to have had you mine for one short day
Has cancell'd half my mighty sum of Woes:
Say but you hate me not.
Raym.
Can you not? say that once more;
That all the Saints may witness it against you.
Queen,
Cruel Raymond!
Can he not punish me but he must hate?
O! 'tis not Justice, but a brutal Rage,
Which hates th' Offender's person with his Crimes:
I have enough to overwhelm one Woman,
To lose a Crown and Lover in a day:
Let Pity lend a Tear when Rigour strikes.
Raym.
Then, then you should have thought of Tears and Pity,
When Vertue, Majesty, and hoary Age
Pleaded for Sancho's Life.
Qu.
My future days shall be one whole Contrition;
A Chapel will I build with large Endowment,
Where every day an hundred aged men
Shall all hold up their wither'd hands to Heaven,
To pardon Sancho's Death.
Tor.
See, Raymond, see: she makes a large amends:
Page 75Sancho is dead: no punishment of her
Can raise his cold stiff limbs from the dark Grave;
Nor can his blessed Soul look down from Heaven;
Or break th' eternal Sabbath of his Rest,
To see with Joy her Miseries on Earth.
Raym.
Heaven may forgive a Crime to Penitence,
For Heaven can judge if Penitence be true;
But man, who knows not Hearts, should make Examples;
Which like a Warning-piece must be shot off,
To fright the rest from Crimes.
Queen,
Had I but known that Sancho was his Father,
I would have pour'd a Deluge of my Bloud
To save one Drop of his.
Tor.
Mark that, Inexorable Raymond mark!
'Twas fatal Ignorance that caus'd his Death.
Raym.
What if she did not know he was your Father:
She knew he was a Man, the Best of men,
Heaven's Image double stampt, as Man and King.
Qu.
He was, he was, ev'n more than you can say,
But yet—
Raym.
But yet you barbarously murther'd him.
Queen,
He will not hear me out!
Tor.
Was ever Criminal forbid to plead?
Curb your ill manner'd Zeal.
Raym.
Sing to him Syren;
For I shall stop my Ears: now mince the Sin,
And mollifie Damnation with a Phrase:
Say you consented not to Sancho's Death,
But barely not forbad it.
Qu.
Hard hearted Man, I yield my guilty cause,
But all my Guilt was caus'd by too much Love.
Had I for Jealousie of Empire sought
Good Sancho's Death, Sancho had dy'd before.
'Twas alwaies in my Power to take his Life:
But Interest never could my Conscience blind
Till Love had cast a mist before my Eyes;
And made me think his Death the onely means
Which could secure my Throne to Torrismond.
Tor.
Never was fatal Mischief meant so kind,
For all she gave, has taken all away.
Page 76
Malicious Pow'rs! is this to be restor'd?
'Tis to be worse depos'd than Sancho was.
Raym.
Heaven has restor'd you, you depose your self:
Oh! when young Kings begin with scorn of Justice,
They make an Omen to their after Reign,
And blot their Annals in the foremost page.
Tor.
No more; lest you be made the first Example,
To show how I can punish.
Raym.
Once again:
Let her be made your Father's Sacrifice,
And after make me her's.
Tor.
Condemn a Wife!
That were to attone for Parricide with Murther!
Raym.
Then let her be divorc'd! we'll be content
With that poor scanty Justice: Let her part.
Tor.
Divorce! that's worse than Death, 'tis Death of Love.
Queen,
The Soul and Body part not with such Pain
As I from you: but yet 'tis just, my Lord:
I am th' Accurst of Heaven, the Hate of Earth,
Your Subjects Detestation, and your Ruin:
And therefore fix this doom upon my self.
Tor.
Heav'n! Can you wish it? to be mine no more!
Queen,
Yes, I can wish it as the dearest Proof
And last that I can make you of my Love.
To leave you blest I would be more accurst
Than Death can make me; for Death ends our Woes,
And the kind Grave shuts up the mournfull Scene:
But I would live without you; to be wretched long:
And hoard up every moment of my life,
To lengthen out the Payment of my Tears,
Till ev'n fierce Raymond, at the last, shall say,
Now let her dye, for she has griev'd enough.
Tor.
Hear this, hear this thou Tribune of the People:
Thou zealous, publick Bloud-hound hear, and melt.
Raym.
(Aside.)
I could cry now, my Eyes grow womanish,
But yet my Heart holds out.
Queen,
Some solitary Cloister will I chuse,
And there with holy Virgins live immur'd:
Course my Attire, and short shall be my Sleep,
Broke by the melancholy midnight Bell:
Page 77
Now,
Raymond, now be satisfied at last.
Fasting and Tears, and Penitence and Prayer
Shall doe dead Sancho Justice every hour.
Raym.
(Aside.)
By your leave, Manhood!
[Wipes his Eyes.
Tor.
He weeps, now he's vanquish'd.
Raym.
No! 'Tis a salt rheum that scalds my Eyes.
Qu.
If he were vanquish'd, I am still unconquer'd,
I'll leave you in the height of all my Love,
Ev'n when my Heart is beating out its way,
And struggles to you most.
Farwell, a last Farwell! My dear, dear Lord
Remember me; speak, Raymond, will you let him?
Shall he remember Leonora's Love,
And shed a parting Tear to her Misfortunes?
Raym.
(Almost crying.)
Yes, yes, he shall, pray goe.
Tor.
Now, By my Soul, she shall not goe: why, Raymond,
Her every Tear is worth a Father's Life;
Come to my Arms, come, my fair Penitent,
Let us not think what future Ills may fall,
But drink deep Draughts of Love, and lose'em all.
[Exit Tor. with the Queen.
Raym.
No matter yet, he has my Hook within him,
Now let him frisk and flownce and run and rowle,
And think to break his hold. He toils in vain:
This Love, the Bait he gorg'd so greedily,
Will make him sick, and then I have him sure.
Enter Alphonso, and Pedro.
Alph.
Brother, there's News from Bertran; he desires
Admittance to the King, and cryes aloud,
This day shall end our Fears of Civil War:
For his safe Conduct he entreats your Presence,
And begs you would be speedy.
Raym.
Though I loath
The Traitor's sight, I'll go: Attend us here.
[Exit Ray.
Enter Gomez, Elvira, Dominic, with Officers, to make the
Stage as full as possible.
Pedro.
Why, how now Gomez: what mak'st thou here with a
whole Brother-hood of City Bailifs? why, thou lookest like AdamPage 78
in Paradise, with his guard of Beasts about him.
Gom.
Ay, and a man had need of them, Don Pedro: for here
are the two old Seducers, a Wife and Priest, that's Eve and the Ser∣pent,
at my Elbow.
Dom.
Take notice how uncharitably he talks of Church men.
Gom.
Indeed you are a charitable Belswagger: my Wife cry'd
out Fire, Fire; and you brought out your Church-buckets, and
call'd for Engines to play against it.
Alph.
I am sorry you are come hither to accuse your Wife, her
Education has been vertuous, her Nature mild and easie.
Gom.
Yes! she's easie with a Vengeance, there's a certain Co∣lonel
has found her so.
Alph.
She came a spotless Virgin to your Bed.
Gom.
And she's a spotless Virgin still for me—she's never the
worse for my wearing, I'll take my Oath on't: I have liv'd with
her with all the Innocence of a Man of Threescore; like a peace∣able
Bedfellow as I am—
Elvi.
Indeed, Sir, I have no reason to complain of him for
disturbing of my Sleep.
Dom.
A fine Commendation you have given your self; the
Church did not marry you for that.
Pedro,
Come, come, your Grievances, your Grievances.
Dom.
Why, Noble Sir, I'll tell you.
Gom.
Peace Fryar! and let me speak first. I am the Plaintiff.
Sure you think you are in the Pulpit where you preach by hours.
Dom.
And you edifie by minutes.
Gom.
Where you make Doctrins for the People, and Uses and
Applications for your selves.
Pedro,
Gomez, give way to the old Gentleman in black.
Gom.
No! the t'other old Gentleman in black shall take me if
I do! I will speak first! nay, I will, Fryar! for all your Verbum
Sacerdotis, I'll speak truth in few words, and then you may come
afterwards, and lye by the clock as you use to doe. For, let me
tell you, Gentlemen, he shall lye and forswear himself with any
Fryar in all Spain: that's a bold word now—
Dom.
Let him alone: let him alone: I shall fetch him back with
a Circum-bendibus I warrant him.
Alph.
Well, What have you to say against your Wife, Gomez?
Gom.
Why, I say, in the first place, that I and all men are marri∣ed
for our Sins, and that our Wives are a Judgement; that a Batch∣elour cobler
Page 79
is a happier man than a Prince in Wedlock; that we
are all visited with a Houshold Plague, and, Lord have mercy up∣on
us should be written on all our doors.
Dom.
Now he reviles Marriage which is one of the seven bles∣sed
Sacraments.
Gom.
'Tis liker one of the seven deadly Sins: but make your
best on't, I care not: 'tis but binding a man Neck and Heels for all
that! But as for my Wife, that Crocodile of Nilus, she has wicked∣ly
and traiterously conspir'd the Cuckoldom of me her anointed
Sovereign Lord: and, with the help of the aforesaid Fryar, whom
Heaven confound, and, with the Limbs of one Colonel Hernando,
Cuckold-maker of this City, devilishly contriv'd to steal herself
away, and under her Arm feloniously to bear one Casket of Dia∣monds,
Pearls, and other Jewels, to the Value of 30000 Pistols.
Guilty, or Not guilty; how saiest thou Culprit?
Dom.
False and scandalous! Give me the Book. I'll take my
corporal Oath pointblank against every particular of this Charge.
Dom.
As I was walking in the Streets, telling my Beads, and
praying to my self, according to my usual custom, I heard a foul
Out-cry before Gomez his Portal; and his Wife, my Penitent,
making dolefull Lamentations: Thereupon, making what haste
my Limbs would suffer me, that are crippl'd with often kneeling,
I saw him Spurning and Fisting her most unmercifully; where∣upon, using Christian Arguments with him to desist, he fell vio∣lently
upon me, without respect to my Sacerdotal Orders, pusht
me from him, and turn'd me about with a Finger and a Thumb,
just as a Man would set up a Top. Mercy, quoth I. Damme,
quoth he. And still continued Labouring me, till a good minded
Colonel came by, whom, as Heaven shall save me, I had never
seen before.
Dom.
Ay, and, O Lady! O Lady too! I redouble my Oath,
I had never seen him. Well, this Noble Colonel, like a true Gentle∣man,
was for taking the weaker part you may be sure—where∣upon
this Gomez flew upon him like a Dragon, got him down,
the Devil being strong in him, and gave him Bastinado on Bastina∣do,
and Bu••et upon Buffet, which the poor, meek Colonel, being
prostrate, suffered with a most Christian Patience.
Gom.
Who? he meek? I'm sure I quake at the very thought of
Page 80
him; why, he's as fierce as Rhodomont, he made Assault and Bat∣tery
upon my Person, beat me into all the colours of the Rain∣bow.
And every word this abominable Priest has utter'd is as
false as the Alcoran. But if you want a thorough pac'd Lyar that
will swear through thick and thin, commend me to a Fryar.
Enter Lorenzo, who comes behind the Company, and stands at
his Father's back unseen, over against Gomez.
Lor.
(Aside.)
How now! What's here to doe? my Cause a
trying, as I live, and that before my own Father: now Fourscore
take him for an old bawdy Magistrate, that stands like the Pic∣ture
of Madam Justice, with a pair of Scales in his Hand, to
weigh Lechery by Ounces.
Alph.
Well—but all this while, who is this Colonel Hernando?
Gom.
He's the First-begotten of Beelzebub, with a Face as ter∣rible
as Demogorgon.
Lorenzo peeps up over Alph. head,
and stares at Gomez.
No! I lye, I lye:
He's a very proper, handsom fellow! well proportion'd, and
clean shap'd, with a Face like a Cherubin.
Ped.
What, backward and forward Gomez? dost thou hunt
counter?
Alph.
Had this Colonel any former Design upon your Wife?
for, if that be prov'd, you shall have Justice.
Gom.
(Aside.)
Now I dare speak; let him look as dreadfully
as he will. I say, Sir, and I will prove it, that he had a leud De∣sign
upon her Body, and attempted to corrupt her Honesty.
[Lor. lifts up his Fist clench'd at him.
I confess my Wife was as willing—as himself; and, I believe,
'twas she corrupted him: for I have known him formerly a very
civil and modest person.
Elvi.
You see, Sir, he contradicts himself at every word: he's
plainly mad.
Alph.
Speak boldly man! and say what thou wilt stand by:
did he strike thee?
Gom.
I will speak Boldly: He struck me on the Face before
my own threshold, that the very walls cry'd shame on him.
[Lor. holds up again.
Page 81
'Tis true, I gave him Provocation, for the man's as peaceable a
Gentleman as any is in all Spain.
Dom.
Now the Truth comes out in spight of him.
Ped.
I believe the Fryar has bewitch'd him.
Alph.
For my part, I see no wrong that has been offer'd him.
Gom.
How? no wrong? why, he ravish'd me with the help of
two Souldiers, carried me away vi & armis, and would have put
me into a Plot against the Government.
[Lor. holds up again.
I confess, I never could endure the Government, because it was
Tyrannical: but my Sides and Shoulders are Black and Blew, as
I can strip, and shew the Marks of 'em.
[Lor. again.
But that might happen too by a Fall that I got yesterday upon
the Pebbles.
[All laugh.
Dom.
Fresh Straw, and a dark Chamber: a most manifest Judg∣ment,
there never comes better of railing against the Church.
Gom.
Why, what will you have me say? I think you'll make
me mad: Truth has been at my Tongue's end this half hour,
and I have not power to bring it out for fear of this bloudy min∣ded
Colonel.
Gom.
Why, my Colonel: I mean, my Wife's Colonel that ap∣pears
there to me like my malus genius, and terrifies me.
Alph.
(Turning.)
Now you are mad indeed,
Gomez; this is my
Son
Lorenzo.
Gom.
How! your Son Lorenzo! it is impossible.
Alph.
As true as your Wife Elvira is my Daughter.
Lor.
What, have I taken all this pains about a Sister?
Gom.
No, you have taken some about me: I am sure, if you
are her Brother, my Sides can shew the Tokens of our Alliance.
Alph.
to Lor.
You know I put your Sister into a Nunnery, with
a strict Command, not to see you, for fear you should have
wrought upon her to have taken the Habit, which was never my
Intention; and consequently, I married her without your know∣ledge,
that it might not be in your power to prevent it.
Elvi.
You see, Brother, I had a natural affection to you.
Lor.
What a delicious Harlot have I lost! Now, Pox upon me,
for being so near akin to thee.
Elvi.
However, we are both beholding to Fryar Dominic, the
Church is an indulgent Mother, she never fails to doe her part.
Dom.
Heaven! what will become of me?
Page 82Gom.
Why, you are not like to trouble Heaven; those fat Guts
were never made for mounting.
Lor.
I shall make bold to disburthen him of my hundred Pi∣stols,
to make him the lighter for his Journey: Indeed, 'tis partly
out of Conscience, that I may not be accessary to his breaking his
Vow of Poverty.
Alphon.
I have no secular Power to reward the Pains you have
taken with my Daughter: But I shall do't by Proxy, Fryar, your
Bishop's my Friend, and is too honest to let such as you infect a
Cloister.
Gom.
Ay, doe Father-in-law, let him be stript of his Habit, and
dis• order'd—I would fain see him walk in Quirpo, like a cas'd
Rabbit, without his holy Fur upon his Back, that the World may
once behold the inside of a Fryar.
Dom.
Farwell, kind Gentlemen: I give you all my Blessing be∣fore
I go—
May your Sisters, Wives, and Daughters, be so naturally lewd,
that they may have no occasion for a Devil to tempt, or a Fryar
to pimp for 'em.
[Exit, with a Rabble pushing him.
Enter Torrismond, Leonora, Bertran, Raymond, Teresa, &c.
Tor.
He lives! he lives! my Royal Father lives!
Let every one partake the general Joy.
Some Angel with a golden Trumpet sound,
King Sancho lives! and let the echoing skies
From Pole to Pole resound, King Sancho lives.
O Bertran, ô! no more my Foe, but, Brother:
One act like this blots out a thousand Crimes.
Bertr.
Bad men, when 'tis their Interest, may doe good:
I must confess, I counsel'd Sancho's Murther;
And urg'd the Queen by specious Arguments:
But still, suspecting that her Love was chang'd,
I spread abroad the Rumour of his Death,
To sound the very Soul of her Designs:
Th' Event you know was answering to my Fears:
She threw the Odium of the Fact on me,
And publickly avow'd her Love to you.
Raym.
Heaven guided all to save the Innocent.
Bert.
I plead no Merit, but a bare Forgiveness.
Tor.
Not onely that, but Favour: Sancho's Life,
Page 83
Whether by Vertue or Design preserv'd,
Claims all within my power.
Queen,
My Prayers are heard;
And I have nothing farther to desire,
But Sancho's leave to authorize our Marriage.
Tor.
Oh! fear not him! Pity and he are one;
So mercifull a King did never live;
Loth to revenge, and easie to forgive:
But let the bold Conspirator beware,
For Heaven makes Princes its peculiar Care.
[Exeunt omnes.
FINIS.
Lately printed.
Lucius Iunius Brutus, Father of his Country; A Tragedy acted
at the Duke's Theatre: Written by Mr. Lee.
Contemplations upon the Life of the Holy Iesus, written by
the Bishop of Exeter.
Both sold by I. Tonson.
Page [unnumbered]EPILOGUE,
By a Friend of the Author's.
THere's none I'am sure, who is a Friend to Love,
But will our Fryar's Character approve:
The ablest Spark among you sometimes needs
Such pious help for charitable Deeds.
Our Church, alas! (as Rome objects) does want
These Ghostly Comforts for the falling Saint:
This gains them their Whore-Converts, and may be
One Reason of the Growth of Popery.
So Mahomet's Religion came in fashion,
By the large leave it gave to Fornication.
Fear not the guilt, if you can pay for't well,
There is no Dives in the Roman Hell.
Gold opens the strait gate, and lets him in;
But want of money is a mortal sin.
For all besides you may discount to Heaven,
And drop a Bead to keep the Tallies even.
How are men cozen'd still with shows of good!
The Baud's best Mask is the grave Fryar's Hood.
Though Vice no more a Clergy-man displeases,
Than Doctors can be thought to hate Diseases:
'Tis by your living ill that they live well,
By your Debauches their fat Paunches swell.
'Tis a mock-war between the Priest and Devil,
When they think fit, they can be very civil.
As some who did French Counsels most advance,
To blind the World, have rail'd in Print at France.
Thus do the Clergy at your Vices bawl,
That with more ease they may engross them all.
By damning yours, they do their own maintain.
A Church-man's godliness is alwaies gain.
Hence to their Prince they will superiour be;
And civil Treason grows Church-Loyalty:
They boast the gift of Heaven is in their power;
Well may they give the God they can devour.
Still to the sick and dead their claims they lay;
For 'tis on Carrion that the Vermin prey.
Nor have they less Dominion on our Life,
They trot the Husband, and they pace the Wife.
Rouze up you Cuckolds of the Northern climes,
And learn from Sweden to prevent such crimes.
Vnman the Fryar, And leave the holy Drone
To hum in his forsaken Hive alone;
He'll work no Honey when his sting is gone.
Your Wives and Daughters soon will leave the Cells,
When they have lost the sound of Aaron's Bells.
FINIS.
