So much that Moody and his Daughter, our new Guests, took notice of the trouble, but the Cause was kept too close for Strangers to divine.

A poor weak innocent Creature as I am, Heav'n of his mercy, how I quake and tremble! I have not yet claw'd off your last ill usage, and now I feel my old fit come again, my Ears tingle already, and my back shuts and opens; I, just so it began be∣fore.

Methought I would not have mine Aunt angry with you for all this earthly good;

Page  11 But yet I'l never be alone with you agen.

Nay, now you speak high words—I cannot understand you.

The business of my life shall be but how to make your Fortune, and my care and study to advance and see you settled in the World.

But I am for fair Wars, an Enemy must first be search'd for privy Armour e'r we do ingage.

My Aunt charg'd me not to pull off my Glove for fear of Sun-burning my hand.

She did well to keep it from your eyes, but I will thus preserve it.

Why do you crush it so? nay, now you hurt me, nay—if you squeeze it ne'r so hard—there's nothing to come out on't—fye—is this loving one—What makes you take your breath so short?

Then I must stop your mouth—this Ruby for a Kiss— Page  12 that is but one Ruby for another.

Do you hear, my Aunt calls? I shall be hang'd for stay∣ing with you—let me go my Lord.

I was just wishing for you Madam, your Neece and I have been so laughing at the blunt humour of your Country-Gen∣tleman,—I must go pass an hour with him.

And that your Daughters are so envious, that they would raise a false report to ruine me.

Why, if the worst come to the worst, he leaves you an honest woman, and there's an end on't: but fear not that, hold out his messages, and then he'll write, and that is it my Bird which you must drive it to: then all his Letters will be such Extacies, such Vows and Promises, which you must answer short and simply, yet still ply out of 'em your advantages.

You Fool—he'll write from the next Chamber to you. And rather than fail, send his Page-Post with it upon a Hobby∣horse:—then grant a Meeting, but tell me of it, and I'le I re∣vent Page  13 him by my being there, he'l curse me, but I care not.

When you are alone, he'l urge his lust, which answer you with sorn and anger.——

Now fair Mrs. Millisent, you see your Chamber, Your Father will be busie a few minutes, and in the mean time permits me the happiness to wait on you.—

But you love none besides him: Can you deny your affection to him?

Then I perceive I am not likely to be so much ob∣lig'd to you as I was to him.

Indeed he has a rare way of acting a Fool, and does it so naturally, it can be scarce distinguish'd.

They went but to the next street; ten to one but they return and catch you here.

What says that Fellow to you? what business can he have here?

Lord, that your Ladiship should ask that question, Knowing whom I serve!

Never breathe, but this anger becomes your Ladiship most admirably; but though you'l hear nothing from him, I hope I may speak a word or two to you from my self, Madam.

'T was a sweet Prank your Master play'd us: a Lady's well helpt up that trusts her Honour in such a persons hands: to tell all so,—and to his Rival too.

Excuse him if thou canst.

How the Devil should I excuse him? thou knowest he is the greatest Fop in Nature—

We have done nothing, Madam, our Man of Law was not within,——but I must look some Writings.

He must pass just by me; and if he sees me, I am but a dead man.

Now would I had a good Bag of Gun-pow∣der at my Breech to ram me into some hole.

'Tis so design'd, Fate cannot hinder it.

Page  17 Our Landlord where we lie, vex'd that his Lodgings should be so left by Sir John, is resolv'd to be reveng'd, and I have found the way.

You'l see th' effect on't presently.

O Heavens! the door opens agen, and Sir John is re∣turn'd once more.

Half my business was forgot; you did not tell me when you were to meet him. Ho! What makes this Rascal here?

'Tis well you're come, Sir, else I must have left un∣told a Message I have for you.

When you know all, I shall deserve it, Sir;

I came to sound the Vertue of your Mistress; which I have done so cunningly, I have at last obtain'd the promise of a meeting. But my good Master, whom I must confess more generous than wise, knowing you had a passion for her, is resolv'd to quit: And, Sir, that you may see how much he loves you, sent me in private to advise you still to have an eye upon her actions.

Thus the World goes, my Masters, he that will cozen you, commonly gets your good will into the bargain.

Madam, I am now satisfi'd of all sides; first of your truth, then of Sir Martins friendship.

In short, I find you two cheated each other,

Both to be true to me.

This is our Landlord whom I told you of; but keep your Countenance.—

I was looking here-away for one Sir John Swallow; they told me I might hear news of him in this House.

Friend, I am the man: What have you to say to me?

I'l puck out my Spectacles and see first.

To Mr. Paul Grimbard—Apprentice to—

No, that's not for you, Sir,—that's for the Son of the Brother of the Nephew of the Cousin of my Gossip Dobson.

Prithee dispatch; do'st thou not know the Con∣tents on't?

Nay, no great business; 'tis but only that your Wor∣ships Father's dead.

Well, I must of necessity take orders for my Father's Funeral, and my estate; Heaven knows with what regret I leave you, Madam.

But are you in such haste, Sir? I see you take all occasi∣ons to be from me.

Dear Madam, say not so, a few days will, I hope, re∣•••n me to you.

Noble Sir Martin, the welcomest man alive!

Let me embrace my Friend.

How untowardly he returns the salute! Warner will be found out.

How have I oblig'd you, Sir? I would have you to know I scorn your words; and I would I were hang'd, if it be not the farthest of my thoughts.

Your plot to try my Mistress for me—you under∣stand me, concerning your appointment.

This impertinent Rascal, when I am most busie, I am ever troubled with him.

That's a good one i'faith, thou know'st breeding well, that I should whisper with a Serving-man before com∣pany.

Peace, or I'le make you feel my double Fists; If I don't fright him, the sawcy Rogue will call me fool before the Company.

Pray, Sir, remember your self; did not you send me of a message to Sir John, that for his friendship you had left Mi∣stress Millisent.

That was all: say, Yes good Sir John—or I'le swinge you.

Heigh, Heigh, what makes my Landlord here? he has put on a Fools Coat I think to make us laugh.

The Devil's in him; he's at it again; his folly's like a sore in a surfeited Horse; cure it in one place, and it breaks out in another.

Take heed what I say, Sir, why? who should I be afraid of? of you, Sir? I say, Sir, I know him, Sir; and I have reason to know him, Sir, for I am sure I lodge in his House, Sir,—nay never think to terrifie me, Sir; 'tis my Landlord here in Charles Street, Sir.

Is in very good health, for ought I know, Sir; I beseech you to trouble your self no farther concerning him.

I, who set you on Sirrah? this was a Rogue that would cozen us both; he thought I did not know him: down on your marribones and confess the truth: have you no tongue you Rascal?

Sure 'tis some silenc'd Minister: he's grown so sat he cannot speak.

Why, Sir, if you would know, 'twas for your sake I did it.

For my Masters sake! why you impudent Varlet, do you think to 'scape us with alye?

'Twas for his own, Sir; he heard you were th'occasion the Lady lodg'd not at his House, and so he invented this lye; partly •o revenge himself of you; and partly, I believe, in hope to get her once again when you were gone.

O good Sir! if you beat me I shall run into oyl imme∣diately,

Hang him Rogue; he's below your anger: I'le maul him for you—the Rogue's so big, I think 'twill ask two days to beat him all over.

Get you gone without replying: must such as you be prating?

Friend will you go along, and take part of a bad Repast?

Now he might fit with his Mistress, and has not the wit to find it out.

Get you in with a vengeance: you have a better stomack than you think you have.

Now we are alone; han't I carry'd matters bravely, Srrah.

O yes, yes, you deserve Sugar Plums; first for Your quarrelling with Sir John; then for discovering your Land∣lord, and lastly for refusing to dine with your Mistress: All this is since the last reckoning was wip'd out.

Then why did my Landlord disguise himself, to make a Fool of us?

You have so little Brains, that a Penn'orth of Butter melted under 'um, would set 'um afloat: he put on that disguise to rid you of your Rival.

It had been much at one: you would but have drunk the secret down; and piss'd it out to the next company.

Well, I find I am a miserable man: I have lost my Mistress, and may thank my self for't.

O yes, much the nearer; for now Fortune's bound to provide for you; As Hospita's are built for lame people, because they cannot help themselves.

Well; I have yet a project in my pate.

If you will not tell me, my mind gives me I shall dis∣cover it again.