And when you met Lopez he swallow'd all you told him?
And the fame of it will be of use to you in your next amour: for the women you know run mad after Fortune-tellers and Preachers.
But for all my bragging this amour is not yet worn off. I find constancy, and once a night come naturally upon a man towards thirty: only we set a face on't; and call our selves unconstant for our reputation.
They move faster than you imagine; for I have got me an Argol, and an English-Almanack; by help of which in one half-hour I have learnt to Cant with an indifferent good grace: Conjunction, Opposition, Trine, Square and Sextile, are now no lon∣ger Bug-bears to me, I thank my Starrs for't.
—Monsieur Wildblood, in good time! What, you have been taking pains too, to divulge my Tallent?
So successfully, that shortly there will be no talk in Town but of you onely: another Miracle or two, and a sharp Sword, and you stand fair for a New Prophet.
In the Gaming-house: where I found most of the Town-wits; the Prose-wits playing, and the Verse-wits cook∣ing.
All sorts of Gamesters are so Superstitious, that I need not doubt of my reception there.
From thence I went to the latter end of a Comedy, and there whisper'd it to the next Man I knew who had a Woman by him.
Nay, then it went like a Train of Powder, if once they had it by the end.
Like a Squib upon a Line, i'faith, it ran through one row, and came back upon me in the next: at my going out I met a knot of Spaniards, who were formally listening to one who was relating it: but he told the Story so ridiculously, with his Marginal Notes upon it, that I was forc'd to contradict him.
I, for you, but not for me: What, sayes he, must such Boracho's as you, take upon you to villifie a Man of Science? I tell you, he's of my intimate Acquaintance, and I have known him long, for a prodigious person—When I saw my Don so fierce, I thought it not wisdom to quarrel for so slight a mat∣ter as you Reputation, and so withdrew.
A pox of your success! now shall I have my Cham∣ber besieg'd to morrow morning: there will be no stiring out for me; but I must be fain to take up their Questions in a cleft-Cane, or a Begging-box, as they do Charity in Pri∣sons.
Faith, I cannot help what your Learning has brought you to: Go in and study; I foresee you will have but few Holy∣dayes: in the mean time I'll not fail to give the World an account of your indowments. Fare-well: I'll to the Gaming house.
O, Sir, here is the rarest adventure, and which is more, come home to you.
A fair Lady and her Woman, wait in the outer Room to speak with you.
Her Woman pluck'd up her Vaile when she spake to me; so that having seen her this evening, I know her Mistress to be Donna Aurelia, Cousin to your Mistress Theodosia, and who lodges in the same House with her: she wants a Starr or two I warrant you.
My whole Constellation is at her service: but what is she for a Woman?
Fair enough, as Beatrix has told me; but sufficiently impertinent. She is one of those Ladies who make ten Visits in an afternoon; and entertain her they see, with speaking ill of the last from whom they parted: in few words, she is one of the greatest Coquette's in Madrid: and to show she is one, she cannot speak ten words without some affected phrase that is in fashion.
For my part I can suffer any impertinence from a wo∣man, provided she be handsome: my business is with her Beau∣ty, not with her Morals: let her Confessor look to them.
I know not; but I sweat for fear I should be gra∣vell'd.
Venture out of your depth, and plunge boldly Sir; I warrant you will swimm.
Do not leave me I charge you; but when I look mournfully upon you help me out.
How am I drest to night, Camilla? is nothing disorder'd in my head?
My Glass I mean: what will you never be so spiritual as to understand refin'd language?
Madam me no Madam, but learn to retrench your words; and say Mam; as yes Mam, and no Mam, as other La∣dies Women do. Madam! 'tis a year in pronouncing.
Yet again ignorance: par-don Madam, fie fie, what a superfluity is there, and how much sweeter the Cadence is, parn me Mam! and for your Ladyship, your Laship—Out upon't, what a furious indigence of Ribands is here upon my head! This dress is a Libel to my beauty; a meer Lam∣poon. Would any one that had the least revenue of common sense have done this?
Maskall, pump the woman; and see if you can discover any thing to save my credit.
Madam, I was told you meant to honor me with your Commands.
I believe, Sir, you wonder at my confidence in this vi∣sit: but I may be excus'd for waving a little modesty to know the only person of the Age.
Sir, you are an unfit judge of your own merits: for my own part I confess I have a furious inclination for the occult Sciences; but at present 'tis my misfortune——
You might spare me the shame of telling you; sioce I am sure you can divine my thoughts: I will therefore tell you nothing.
You may give me an Essay of your Science, by decla∣ring to me the secret of my thoughts.
If I know your thoughts, Madam, 'tis in vain for you to disguise them to me: therefore as you tender your own sa∣tisfaction lay them open without bashfulness.
I beseech you let us pass over that chapter; for I am shamefac'd to the last point: Since therefore I cannot put off my modesty, succour it, and tell me what I think.
Madam, Madam, that bashfulness must be laid aside: not but that I know your business perfectly; and will if you please unfold it to you all, immediately.
Favour me so far, I beseech you, Sir; for I furiously desire it.
But then I must call up before you a most dreadful Spirit, with head upon head, and horns upon horns: therefore consider how you can endure it.
This is furiously furious; but rather than fail of my expectances, I'll try my assurance.
Well, then, I find you will force me to this unlawful, and abominable act of Conjuration: remember the sin is yours too.
I see when a woman has a mind to't, she'll never boggle at a sin. Pox on her, what shall I do?—Well, I'll tell you your thoughts, Madam; but after that expect no farther ser∣vice from me; for 'tis your confidence must make my Art suc∣cesful:—Well, you are obstinate, then; I must tell you your thoughts?
Hold, hold, Sir, I am content to pass over that chapter rather than be depriv'd of your assistance.
'Tis very well; what need these circumstances be∣tween us two? Confess freely, is not love your business?
La you there; you see I knew it; nay, I'll tell you more, 'tis a man you love.
O prodigious Science! I confess I love a man most fu∣riously, to the last point, Sir.
Now proceed Lady, your way is open; I am resolv'd I'll not tell you a word farther.
Well, then, since I must acquaint you with what you know much better than my self; I will tell you I lov'd a Ca∣valier, who was noble, young, and handsome; this Gentle∣man is since gone for Flanders; now whether he has preserv'd his passion inviolate or not, is that which causes my inquie∣tude.
Trouble not your self, Madam; he's as constant as a Romance Heros.
Sir, your good news has ravish'd most furiously; but that I may have a confirmation of it, I beg only, that you would lay your commands upon his Genius, or Idea, to appear to me this night, that I may have my sentence from his mouth. This, Sir, I know is a slight effect of your Science, and yet will infinitely oblige me.
What the Devil does she call a slight effect!
To view him in a glass is nothing, I would speak with him in person, I mean his Idea, Sir.
I but Madam, there is a vast sea betwixt us and Flan∣ders; and water is an enemy to Conjuration: A witches horse you know, when he enters into water, returns into a bottle of hay again.
But, Sir, I am not so ill a Geographer, or to speak more properly, a Chorographer, as not to know there is a passage by land from hence to Flanders.
That's true, Madam, but Magick works in a direct line. Why should you think the Devil such an Ass to goe about? 'gad he'll not stir a step out of his road for you or any man.
Yes, for a Lady, Sir; I hope he's a person that wants not that civility for a Lady: especially a spirit that has the honor to belong to you, Sir.
For that matter he's your Servant, Madam; but his edu∣cation has been in the fire, and he's naturally an enemy to wa∣ter I assure you.
I beg his pardon for forgetting his Antipathy; but it imports not much, Sir; for I have lately receiv'd a letter from my Servant, that he is yet in Spain; and stays for a wind in St. Sebastians.
Now I am lost past all redemption.—Maskall—must you be smickering after Wenches while I am in calamity?
It must be he, I'll venture on't.
Why you impudent Villain, must you offer to name him publickly, when I have taken so much care to conceal him all this while?
Mitigate your displeasure I beseech you; and without making farther testimony of it, gratifie my expectances.
Well, Madam, since the Sea hinders not, you shall have your desire. Look upon me with a fix'd eye—so—or a little more amorously if you please.—Good. Now favour me with your hand.
Furiously necessary, I assure you, Madam; for now I take possession of it in the name of the Idea of Don Melchor. Now, Madam, I am farther to desire of you, to write a Note to his Genius, wherein you desire him to appear, and this, we Men of Art, call a Compact with the Idea's.
Now, Lady mine, what think you of my Master?
I think I would not serve him for the world: nay, if he can know our thoughts by looking on us, we women are hy∣pocrites to little purpose.
He can do that and more; for by casting his eyes but once upon them, he knows whether they are Maids, better than a whole Jury of Midwives.
He has a certain small Familiar which he carries still about him, that never fails to make discovery.
See, they have done writing; not a word more, for fear he knows my voice.
One thing I had forgot, Madam, you must subscribe your name to't.
There 'tis; farewell Cavalier, keep your promise, for I expect it furiously.
Then, sweet Sir, have pity on my srailty; for if my Lady has the least inkling of what we did last night, the poor Coachman will be turn'd away.
But what faint-hearted Devils yours are that will not go by water? Are they all Lancashire Devils, of the brood of Tybert and Grimalkin, that they dare not wet their feet?
Mine are honest land Devils, good plain foot Posts, that beat upon the hoof for me: but to save their labour, here take this, and in some disguise deliver it to Don Melchor.
I'll serve it upon him within this hour, when he sal∣lyes out to his assignation with Theodosia: 'tis but counterfeit∣ing my voice a little; for he cannot know me in the dark. But let me see, what are the words?
Don Melchor, if the Magique of love have any power upon your spirit, I conjure you to appear this night before me: you may guess the greatness of my passion, since it has forc'd me to have recourse to Art: but no shape which resembles you can fright
Well, I am glad there's one point gain'd; for by this means he will be hindred to night from entertaining Theodosia.—Pox on him, is he here again?
Cavalier Ingles I have been seeking you: I have a Pre∣sent in my Pocket for you; read it by your Art and take it.
That I could do easily;—but to shew you I am gene∣rous, I'll none of your Present; do you think I am merce∣nary?
I know you will say now 'tis some Astrological que∣stion, and so 'tis perhaps.
No 'tis within dispute: 'tis a certain difficulty in the Art; a Problem which you and I will discuss, with the argu∣ments on both sides,
At this time I am not problematically given; I have a humour of complaisance upon me, and will contradict no man.
By your favour I'll not discusse; for I see by the Stars that if I Dispute to day, I am infallibly threatned to be thought ignorant all my life after.
Well, then, we'll but cast an eye together, upon my eldest Daughters Nativity.
I know what you would say now, that there wants the Table of Direction for the five Hylegiacalls; the Ascen∣dant, Medium Coeli, Sun, Moon, and Sors: but we'll take it as it is.
I say, Sir, there is no doing without the Sun and Moon, and all that, Sir. And so you may make use of your Paper for your occasions. Come to a man of Art without
'Tis no matter; this shall break no squares betwixt us:
Don Alonzo in my house! this is a most happy oppor∣tunity to put my other design in execution; for if I can per∣swade him to bestow his Daughter on Don Melchor, I shall serve my Friend, though against his will: and, when Aurelia sees she cannot be his, perhaps she will accept my Love.
I warrant you, Sir, 'tis all piec'd right, both top, sides and bottom; for, look you, Sir, here was Aldeboran, and there Cor Scorpii—
Don Alonzo, I am happy to see you under my Roof: and shall take it—
I know what you would say, Sir, that though I am your neighbour, this is the first time I have been here.
It needs not Sennor; I'll suppose your Compliment; you would say that your house and all things in it are at my service: but let us proceed without his interruption.
By no means, Sir; this Cavalier is come on purpose to perform the civilities of his house to you.
No matter, let him go, Sir; I have long desir'd this opportunity to move a Sute to you in the behalf of a Friend of mine: if you please to allow me the hearing of it.
He is a person of worth and vertue, and is infinitely ambitious of the honour—
If you will please to favour me with your patience, which I beg of you a second time.
If I speak one Syllable more the Devil take me: speak when you please.
You need not speak twice to me to be silent: though I take it somewhat ill of you to be tutor'd—
Why when do you begin, Sir? How long must a man wait for you? pray make an end of what you have to say quickly, that I may speak in my turn too.
You told me that before, Sir; Do you speak Oracles that you require this strict attention? either let me share the talk with you or I am gone.
Why, Sir, I am almost mad to tell you, and you will not suffer me.
Will you never have done, Sir; I must tell you, Sir, you have tatled long enough; and 'tis now good Manners to hear me speak. Here's a Torrent of words indeed; a very impetus dicendi, Will you never have done?
There's one Don Melchor de Guzman, a Friend and Ac∣quaintance of mine, that is desperately in Love with your el∣dest Daughter Donna Theodosia.
'Tis the sentence of a Philosopher, Loquere ut te videam; Speak that I may know thee; now if you take away the power of speaking from me—
I'll try the Language of the Law; sure the Devil can∣not Page 41 out-talke that Gibberish—For this Don Melchor of Madrid aforesaid, as premised, I request, move, and supplicate, that you would give, bestow, Marry, and give in Mariage, this your Daughter aforesaid, to the Cavalier aforesaid—not yet, thou Devil of a Man thou shalt be silent—
At the fume time with Lopez his last speech, and after Lopez is runout Oh, how I hate, abominate, detest and abhor, these perpetual Talkers, Disputants, Contro∣verters, and Duellers of the Tongue! But, on the other side, if it be not permitted to pru∣dent men to speak their minds, appositely, and to the purpose' and in few words—If, I say, the prudent must be Tongue-ty'd; then let Great Nature be destroy'd; let the order of all things be turn'd topsy-turvy; let the Goose devour the Fox; let the Infants preach to their Great-Grandsires; let the tender Lamb pursue the Woolfe, and the Sick prescribe to the Physician. Let Fishes live upon dry∣land, and the Beasts of the Earth inhabit in the Water.—Let the fearful Hare—
Sir, there are some Women without in Masquerade; and, I believe, persons of Quality, who are come to Play here.
Cavaliers, and Ladies, you are welcome: I wish I had more company to entertain you:—Oh, here comes one sooner then I expected.
Well, here's more to be had of these Ladies, if it be your fortune.
The first Stakes I would play for, should be their Vailes, and Visor Masques.
Well, now I shall make an absolute trial of him; for, being thus incognita, I shall discover if he make Love to any of you. As for the Gallantry of his Serenade, we will not be in∣debted to him, for we will make him another with our Guit∣tars.
I'll whisper your intention to the Servant, who shall deliver it to Don Lopez.
Sir, the Ladies have commanded me to tell you, that they are willing, before they Play, to present you with a Dance; and to give you an Essay of their Guittars.
While you have been Singing, Lady, I have been Praying: I mean, that your Face and Wit may not prove equal to your Dancing; for, if they be, there's a heart gone astray to my knowledge.
If you pray against me before you have seen me, you'll curse me when you have look'd on me.
I believe I shall have cause to do so, if your Beauty be as killing as I imagine it.
'Tis true, I have been flatter'd in my own Country, with an opinion of a little handsomness; but, how it will pass in Spain is a question.
No, Sir, of Marocco: I onely came hither to see some of my Relations who are setled here, and turn'd Christians, since the expulsion of my Countrymen the Moors.
A Musullwoman say you? I protest by your voice I should have taken you for a Christian Lady of my acquain∣tance.
It seems you are in love then: if so, I have done with you. I dare not invade the Dominions of another Lady; es∣pecially in a Country where my Ancestors have been so unfor∣tunate.
Some little liking I might have, but that was onely a morning-dew, 'tis drawn up by the Sun-shine of your Beauty: I find your African-Cupid is a much surer Archer then ours of Europe. Yet would I could see you; one look would secure your victory.
I'll reserve my Face to gratifie your imagination with it, make what head you please, and set it on my Shoul∣ders.
Well, Madam, an eye, a nose, or a lip shall break no squares: the Face is but a spans breadth of beauty; and where there is so much besides, I'll never stand with you for that.
I, by Alha do I, most extreamly: you have Wit in abundance, you Dance to a Miracle, you Sing like an Angel, and I believe you look like a Cherubim.
You Swear like a Turk, Sir; but, take heed: for our Prophet is a severe punisher of Promise-breakers.
Your Prophet's a Cavalier; I honour your Prophet and his Law, for providing so well for us Lovers in the Page 44 other World, Black Eyes, and Fresh-Maidenheads every day; go thy way little Mahomet, i'faith thou shalt have my good word. But, by his favour Lady, give me leave to tell you, that we of the Uncircumcised, in a civil way, as Lovers, have somewhat the advantage of your Musullman.
The Company are rejoyn'd, and set to play; we must go to 'em: Adieu, and when you have a thought to throw away, bestow it on your Servant Fatyma.
This Lady Fatyma pleases me most infinitely: now am I got among the Hamets, the Zegrys, and the Bencerrages. Hey, What work will the Wildbloods make among the Cids and the Bens of the Arabians!
False as Hell; but by Heaven I'll fit him for't: Have you the high-running Dice about you?
You shall see me win all their Mony; and when I have done, I'll return in my own person, and ask him for the mo∣ney which he promis'd me.
'Twill put him upon a streight to be so surpriz'd: but, let us to the Table; the Company stayes for us.
Most commonly they use Raffle. That is, to throw with three Dice, till Duplets and a chance be thrown; and the highest Duplets wins except you throw In and In, which is call'd Raffle; and that wins all.
I understand it: Come, Lady, 'tis no matter what I lose; the greatest stake, my heart, is gone already
No matter; I'll try my fortune once again: what have I here two sixes and a quater?—an hundred Pistols on that throw.
I, the pox take me for't, you have won me: it would never have vex'd me to have lost my money to a Christian; but to a Pagan, an Infidel.—
Pox of this Lady Fatyma! Raffle thrice together, I am out of patience.
Sir, I beseech you if you will lose, to lose en Cavalier.
Tol de ra, tol de ra—pox and curse—tol de ra, &c. What the Devil did I mean to play with this Brunet of Afrique?
You have won our money; but however we are ac∣knowledging to you for the honor of your company.
'Tis no matter; I do not love to fret inwardly, as your silent losers do, and in the mean time be ready to choak for want of vent.
Pray consider your condition a little; a younger Bro∣ther in a foreign Country, living at a high rate, your money lost, and without hope of a supply. Now curse if you think good.
No, now I will laugh at my self most unmercifully: for my condition is so ridiculous that 'tis past cursing. The pleasantest part of the adventure is, that I have promis'd 300 pistols to Jacinta: but there is no remedy, they are now fair Fatyma's.
I, I, a certain African Lady of my acquaintance whom you know not.
Madam, what happy star has conducted you hither to night! A thousand Devils of this fortune!
I was told you had Ladies here and fiddles; so I came partly for the divertisement, and partly out of jealousie.
Jealousie! why sure you do not think me a Pagan, an Infidel? But the company's broke up you see. Am I to wait upon you home, or will you be so kind to take a hard lodging with me to night?
No more words then, let's away to prevent disco∣very.
No: but if your Lady should want sleep, 'twould spoil the lustre of her eyes to morrow. There were a Conquest lost.
I am a peaceable Princess, and content with my own; I mean your heart, and purse; for the truth is, I have lost my money to night in Masquerade, and am come to claim your pro∣mise of supplying me.
You make me happy by commanding me: to morrow morning my servant shall wait upon you with 300 pistols.
Play on tick, and lose the Indies, I'll discharge it all to morrow.
Do you expostulate you rascall! how he stares; I'll be hang'd if he have not lost my gold at play: if you have, confess you had best, and perhaps I'll pardon you; but if you do not confess I'll have no mercy: did you lose it?
I, as sure as e're he had it, I dare swear for him: but commend to you for a kind Master, that can let your Servant play off 300 pistols, without the least sign of anger to him.
'Tis a sign he has a greater banck in store to comfort him.
Well, Madam, I must confess I have more then I will speak of at this time; but till you have given me satisfa∣ction—
Heaven! that you should not perceive it in me: I tell you I am mortally offended with you.
You have done nothing I warrant to make a man jea∣lous: going out a gaming in Masquerade, at unseasonable hours, and losing your money, at play; that loss above all provokes me.
'Tis impossible you should clear it; I'll stop my ears if you but offer it. There's no satisfaction in the point.
To do this in the beginning of an amour, and to a jealous servant as I am; had I all the wealth of Peru, I would not let go one Maravedis to you.
Answer nothing, for it will but inflame the quarrel betwixt us: I must come to my self by little and little; and when I am ready for satisfaction I will take it: but at present it is not for my honor to be friends.
When I have conquer'd, you may interpose; but at present the mediation of all Christendome would be fruitless.
Though Christendome can do nothing with you, yet I hope an African may prevail. Let me beg you for the sake of the Lady Fatyma.
I begin to suspect that Lady Fatyma is no better than she should be. If she be turn'd Christian again I am undone.
Well, well, Madam, any man may be overtaken with an oath; but I never meant to perform it with her: you know no oathes are to be kept with Infidels. But———
No, the love you made was certainly a design of chari∣tie you had to reconcile the two Religions. There's scarce such another man in Europe to be sent Apostle to convert the Moor Ladies.
Faith I would rather widen their breaches then make 'em up.
I see there's no hope of a reconcilement with you; and therefore I give it o're as desperate.
You have gain'd your point, you have my money; and I was only angry because I did not know 'twas you who had it.
This will not serve your turn, Sir; what I have got I have conquer'd from you.
Indeed you use me like one that's conquer'd; for you have plunder'd me of all I had.
I only difarm'd you for fear you should rebell again; for if you had the sinews of warr I am sure you would be fly∣ing out.
Dare but to stay without a new Servant till I am flush again, and I will love you, and treat you, and present you at that unreasonable rate; that I will make you an example to all unbelieving Mistresses.
Well, I will trie you once more; but you must make haste then, that we may be within our time; methinks our love is drawn out so subtle already, that 'tis near breaking.
I will have more care of it on my part, than the kin∣dred of an old Pope have to preserve him.
You deserv'd it for not having a lye ready for my occasions. A good Servant should be no more without it, than a Souldier without his armes. But prethee advise me what's to be done to get Jacinta.
You have lost her, or will lose her by your submit∣ting: if we men could but learn to value our selves, we should soon take down our Mistresses from all their Altitudes, and make 'em dance after our Pipes, longer perhaps than we had a mind to't.—But I must make haste, or I shall lose Don Melchor.—
Call Bellamy, we'll both be present at thy enterprise: then I'll once more to the Gaming-house with my small stock, Page 49 for my last refuge: if I win, I have wherewithall to mollifie Jacinta.