An evening's love, or, The mock-astrologer acted at the Theatre-Royal, by His Majesties servants
Dryden, John, 1631-1700., Corneille, Thomas, 1625-1709. Feint astrologue., Molière, 1622-1673. Dépit amoureux., Calderón de la Barca, Pedro, 1600-1681. Astrologo fingido.
Page  [unnumbered] Page  1

AN EVENING'S LOVE, OR THE Mock-Astrologer.

ACT. I. SCENE I.

Don Lopez, and a Servant, walking over the Stage.
Enter another Servant, and follows him.
Ser.
DOn Lopez?
Lop.
Any new business.
Ser.
My Master had forgot this Letter.
Which he conjures you, as you are his friend,
To give Aurelia from him.
Lop.
Tell Don Melchor 'tis a hard task which he enjoyns me:
He knows I love her, and much more than he;
For I love her alone, but he divides
His passion betwixt two: Did he consider
How great a pain 'tis to dissemble love,
He would never practise it.
Ser.
He knows his fault; but cannot mend it.
Lop.
To make the poor Aurelia believe
He's gone for Flanders, whiles he lies conceal'd,
And every night makes visits to her Cousin.
When will he leave this strange extravagance?
When he can love one more, or t'other less.
Lop.
Before I lov'd my self, I promis'd him
To serve him in his love; and I'll perform it,
How e're repugnant to my own concernments.
Serv.
You are a noble Cavalier.
Exit Servant.
Enter Bellamy, Wildblood, Maskall.
2d. Ser.
Sir, your Guests of the English Embassador's Retinue.
Lop.

Cavaliers, will you please to command my Coach to take the air this Evening?

Bell.

We have not yet resolv'd how to dispose of our selves; but however we are highly acknowledging to you for your civility.

Lop.

You cannot more oblige me then by laying your com∣mands on me.

Wild.
We kiss your hands.
Exit Lopez cum Servo.
Bell.

Give the Don his due, he entertain'd us nobly this Carnival.

Wild.

Give the Devil the Don for any thing I lik'd in his Entertainment.

Bell.
I hope we had variety enough.
Wild.

I, it look'd like variety, till we came to taste it; there were twenty several dishes to the eye, but in the pallat nothing but Spices. I had a mind to eat of a Pheasant, and as soon as I got it into my mouth, I found I was chawing a limb of Cina∣mon; then I went to cut a piece of Kid, and no sooner it had touch'd my lips, but it turn'd to red Pepper: at last I began to think my self another kind of Midas, that every thing I touch'd should be turn'd to Spice.

Bell.

And for my part, I imagin'd his Catholick Majesty had invited us to eat his Indies. But prethee let's leave the discourse of it, and contrive together how we may spend the Evening; for in this hot Country, 'tis as in the Creation, the Evening and the Morning make the Day.

Wild.
I have a little serious business.
Bell.

Put it off till a fitter season: for the truth is, business is then only tollerable, when the world and the flesh have no baits to set before us for the day.

Page  3 Wild.
But mine perhaps is publick business.
Bell.

Why, is any business more publick than drinking and wenching? Look on those grave plodding fellows, that pass by us as though they were meditating the reconquest of Flan∣ders: fly'em to a Mark, and I'll undertake three parts of four are going to their Courtezans. I tell thee, Jack, the whisking of a Silk-Gown, and the rash of a Tabby-Pettycoat, are as comfortable sounds to one of these rich Citizens, as the chink of their Pieces of Eight.

Wild.

This being granted to be the common design of hu∣mane kind, 'tis more than probable 'tis yours; therefore I'll leave you to the prosecution of it.

Bell.

Nay, good Jack, mine is but a Mistress in Embrio; the possession of her is at least some ten dayes off, and till that time, thy company will be pleasant, and may be profitable to carry on the work. I would use thee like an under kind of Chymist, to blow the coals; 'twill be time enough for me to be alone when I come to projection.

Wild.

You must excuse me, Franck; I have made an appoint∣ment at the Gameing-house.

Bell.

What to do there I prethee? to mis-spend that money which kind fortune intended for a Mistress? or to learn new Oaths and Curses to carry into England? that is not it—I heard you were to marry when you left home: perhaps that may be still running in your head, and keep you vertuous.

Wild.

Marriage quoth a! what dost thou think I have been bred in the Desarts of Africk, or among the Savages of Ame∣rica? nay, if I had, I must needs have known better things than so; the light of Nature would not have let me gone so far astray.

Bell.
Well! what think you of the Prado this Evening?
Wild.

Pox upon't, 'tis worse than our contemplative Hide-Park.

Bell.

O! but we must submit to the Custom of the Country for courtship: what ever the means are, we are sure the end is still the same in all places. But who are these?

Page  4 Enter Don Alonzo de Ribera, with his two Daughters Theodosia and Jacinta, and Beatrix their Woman, passing by.
Theo.

Do you see those strangers, Sister, that eye us so ear∣nestly?

Jac.

Yes, and I guess 'em to be feathers of the English Em∣bassador's Train; for I think I saw 'em at the grand Audience—And have the strangest temptation in the world to talk to 'em: A mischief on this modesty.

Beat.
A mischief of this Father of yours that haunts you so.
Jac.

'Tis very true Beatrix; for though I am the younger Sister, I should have the grace to lay modesty first aside: how∣ever, Sister, let us pull up our Vails and give 'em an Essay of our faces.

They pull up their Vails, and pull 'em down agen.
Wild.

Ah Bellamy! undone, undone! dost thou see those Beauties?

Bell.

Prethee Wildblood hold thy tongue, and do not spoil my contemplation; I am undoing my self as fast as e're I can too.

Wild.
I must go to 'em.
Bell.

Hold Madman; dost thou not see their father? hast thou a mind to have our throats cut?

Wild.

By a Hector of fourscore? Hang our throats, what a Lover and cautious?

Is going towards them.
Alon.
Come away Daughters, we shall be late else.
Bell.
Look you, they are on the wing already.
Wild.

Prethee, dear Frank, let's follow 'em: I long to know who they are.

Mask.
Let me alone, I'll dog 'em for you.
Bell.

I am glad on't, for my shooes so pinch me, I can scarce go a step farther.

Wild.

Cross the way there lives a Shoomaker: away quick∣ly, that we may not spoil our man's design.

Ex. Bell. Wild.
Alon.
offers to go off.—

Now friend! what's your business to follow us?

Mask.

Noble Don; 'tis only to recommend my service to you: A certain violent passion I have had for your worship Page  5 since the first moment that I saw you.

Alon.
I never saw thee before to my remembrance.
Mask.

No matter Sir; true love never stands upon cere∣mony.

Alon.

Prethee begone my sawcie companion, or I'll clap an Alguazile upon thy heels; I tell thee I have no need of thy service.

Mask.

Having no servant of your own, I cannot in good manners leave you destitute.

Alon.
I'll beat thee if thou follow'st me.
Mask.

I am your Spaniel Sir, the more you beat me, the better I'll wait on you.

Alon.

Let me intreat thee to be gone; the boyes will hoot at me to see me follow'd thus against my will.

Mask.

Shall you and I concern our selves for what the Boyes do, Sir? Pray do you hear the news at Court?

Alon.
Prethee what's the news to thee or me?
Mask.
Will you be at the next Juego de cannas?
Alon.
If I think good.
Mask.

Pray go on Sir, we can discourse as we walk toge∣ther: And whither were you now a going, Sir?

Alon.
To the Devil I think.
Mask.
O! not this year or two, Sir, by your age.
Jac.

My Father was never so match'd for talking in all his life before; he who loves to hear nothing but himself: Pre∣thee, Beatrix, stay behind, and see what this impudent English∣man would have.

Beat.
Sir! if you'll let my Master go, I'll be his pawn.
Mask.

Well, Sir, I kiss your hand, in hope to wait on you another time.

Alon.
Let us mend our pace to get clear of him.
Theo.

If you do not, he'll be with you agen, like Atalanta in the fable, and make you drop another of your golden Apples.

Ex. Alon. Theod. Jacinta.
Maskal whispers Beatrix the while.
Beat.

How much good language is here thrown away to make me betray my Ladies?

Page  6 Mask.

If you will discover nothing of 'em, let me discourse with you a little.

Beat.
As little as you please.
Mask.
They are rich I suppose.
Beat.

Now you are talking of them agen: but they are as rich, as they are fair.

Mask.

Then they have the Indies: well, but their Names my sweet Mistress.

Beat.
Sweet Servant their Names are—
Mask.
Their Names are—out with it boldly—
Beat.
A secret not to be disclos'd.
Mask.

A secret say you? Nay, then I conjure you as you are a Woman tell it me.

Beat.
Not a syllable.
Mask.

Why then as you are a Waiting-woman: as you are the Sieve of all your Ladies Secrets tell it me.

Beat.

You lose your labour: nothing will strain through me.

Mask.
Are you so well stop'd i'th' bottom?
Beat.
It was enjoyn'd me strictly as a Secret.
Mask.

Was it enjoyn'd thee strictly, and can'st thou hold it? Nay then thou art invincible: but, by that face, that more than ugly face, which I suspect to be under thy Vaile, disclose it to me.

Beat.

By that Face of thine, which is a Natural Visor: I will not tell thee.

Mask.
By thy—
Beat.
No more Swearing I beseech you.
Mask.

That Woman's worth little that is not worth an Oath: well, get thee gone, now I think on't thou shalt not tell me.

Beat.

Shall I not? Who shall hinder me? They are Don Alonzo de Ribera's Daughters.

Mask.
Out, out: I'le stop my Eares.
Beat.
—They live hard by, in the Calle maior.
Mask.
O infernal Tongue—
Beat.
And are going to the next Chappel with their Father.
Mask.

Wilt thou never have done tormenting me? in my Page  7 Conscience anon thou wilt blab out their Names too.

Beat.
Their Names are Theodosia and Jacinta.
Mask.
And where's your great Secret now?
Beat.

Now I think I am reveng'd on you for running down my poor old Master.

Mask.

Thou art not fully reveng'd till thou hast told me thy own Name too.

Beat.

'Tis Beatrix, at your service, Sir, pray remember I wait on 'em.

Mask.
Now I have enough, I must be going.
Beat.

I perceive you are just like other Men; when you have got your ends you care not how soon you are going.——.Farewell,—you'l be constant to me—

Mask.

If thy face, when I see it, do not give me occasion to be otherwise.

Beat.

You shall take a Sample that you may praise it when you see it next.

(She pulls up her Vail.)
Enter Wildblood and Bellamy.
Wild.

Look, there's your Dog with a Duck in's mouth—Oh she's got loose and div'd again.—

[Exit Beatrix.
Bell.

Well Maskall, What newes of the Ladies of the Lake?

Mask.

I have learn'd enough to embarque you in an Adven∣ture; they are Daughters to one Don Alonzo de Ribera in the Calle major, their Names Theodosia and Jacinta, and they are go∣ing to their Devotions in the next Chappel.

Wild.

Away then, let us lose no time, I thank Heaven I ne∣ver found my self better enclin'd to Godliness than at this present.—

Exeunt.
Page  8

SCENE II. A Chappel.

Enter Alonzo, Theodosia, Jacinta, Beatrix, other Ladies and Cavaliers as at their Devotion.
Alon.

By that time you have told your Beads I'll be agen with you.

Exit.
Jac.
Do you think the English Men will come after us?
Beat.
Do you think they can stay from you?
Jac.

For my part I feel a certain qualm upon my heart, which makes me believe I am breeding Love to one of'em.

Theo.

How, Love, Jacinta, in so short a time? Cupids Arrow was well feather'd to reach you so suddenly.

Jac.

Faith as good at first as at last Sister, 'tis a thing that must be done, and therefore 'tis best dispatching it out o'th' way.

Theo.

But you do not mean to tell him so whom you love?

Jac.

Why should I keep my self and Servant in pain for that which may be cur'd at a dayes warning?

Beat.

My Lady tells you true, Madam, long tedious Court∣ship may be proper for cold Countries, where their Frosts are long a thawing; but Heaven be prais'd we live in a warm Climate.

Theo.

The truth is, in other Countries they have opportu∣nities for Courtship, which we have not, they are not mew'd up with double Locks and Grated Windows; but may receive Addresses at their leisure.

Jac.

But our Love here is like our Grass; if it be not mow'd quickly 'tis burnt up.

Enter Bellamy, Wildblood, Maskall: they look about 'em.
Theo.

Yonder are your Gallants, send you comfort of 'em: I am for my Devotions.

Jac.

Now for my heart can I think of no other Prayer, but Page  9 only that they may not mistake us—Why Sister, Sister,—will you Pray? What injury have I ever done you, that you should Pray in my company? If your servant Don Melchor were here, we should have you mind Heaven as little as the best on's.

Beat.

They are at a loss, Madam, shall I put up my Vail that they may take aime?

Jac.

No, let 'em take their Fortune in the dark: we shall see what Archers these English are.

Bell.
Which are they think'st thou?
Wild.

There's no knowing them, they are all Children of darkness.

Bell.

I'll besworn they have one sign of Godliness among 'em, there's no distinction of persons here.

Wild.

Pox o'this blind-mans-buffe; they may be asham'd to provoke a man thus by their keeping themselves so close.

Bell.

You are for the youngest you say; 'tis the eldest has smitten me. And here I fix, if I am right—happy man be his dole.————By Theodosia.

Wild.

I'll take my fortune here.—By Jacinta. Madam, I hope a stranger may take the libertie without of∣fence to offer his devotions by you.

Jac.

That, Sir, would interrupt mine, without being any advantage to your own.

Wild.

My advantage, Madam, is very evident; for the kind Saint to whom you pray, may by the neighbourhood mistake my devotions for yours.

Jac.

O Sir! our Saints can better distinguish between the prayers of a Catholick and a Lutheran.

Wild.

I beseech you, Madam, trouble not your self for my Religion; for though I am a Heretick to the men of your Country, to your Ladies I am a very zealous Catholick: and for fornication and adulterie, I assure you I hold with both Churches.

Theo. to Bell.

Sir, if you will not be more devout, be at least more civil, you see you are observ'd.

Bell.

And pray, Madam, what do you think the lookers on imagine I am imploy'd about?

Page  10 Theo.
I will not trouble my self to guess.
Bell.

Why, by all circumstances, they must conclude that I am making love to you: and methinks it were scarce civil to give the opinion of so much good company the lye.

Theo.

If this were true, you would have little reason to thank 'em for their Divination.

Bell.
Meaning I should not be lov'd again.
Theo.

You have interpreted my riddle, and may take it for your pains.

Enter Alonso, (and goes apart to his devotion)
Beat.
Madam, your Father is return'd.
Bell.
She has nettled me, would I could be reveng'd on her.
Wild.

Do you see their Father? let us make as though we talk'd to one another, that we may not be suspected.

Beat.
You have lost your Englishmen.
Jac.

No, no, 'tis but design I warrant you: you shall see these Island Cocks wheel about immediately.

Beat.

Perhaps they thought they were observ'd.

The English gather up close to them.
Wild. to Bell.

Talk not of our Countrie Ladies: I declare my self for the Spanish Beauties.

Bell.

Prethee tell me what thou canst find to doat on in these Castilians.

Wild.
Their wit and beauty.
Theo.
Now for our Champion St. Jago for Spain there.
Bell.

Faith I can speak no such miracles of either; for their beautie 'tis much as the Moores left it; not altogether so deep a black as the true Aethiopian: A kind of beautie that is too civil to the lookers on to do them any mischief.

Jac.
This was your frowardness that provok'd him, Sister.
Theo.
But they shall not carry it off so.
Bell.

As for their wit, you may judge it by their breeding, which is commonly in a Nunnerie; where the want of man∣kind while they are there, makes them value the blessing ever after.

Theo.

Prethee dear Jacinta tell me, what kind of creatures Page  11 were those we saw yesterday at the Audience? Those I mean that look'd so like Frenchmen in their habits, but only became their Apishness so much worse.

Jac.
Englishmen I think they call'd 'em.
Theo.

Crie you mercy; they were of your wild English in∣deed, that is a kind of Northern Beast, that is taught its feats of activity in Monsieurland, and for doing 'em too lubberly, is laugh'd at all the world over.

Bell.

Wildblood, I perceive the women understand little of discourse; their Gallants do not use 'em to't: they get upon their Gennits, and prance before their Ladies windows; there the Palfray curvets and bounds, and in short entertains 'em for his Master.

Wild.
And this horse-play they call making love.
Beat.
Your Father Madam.—
Alon.

Daughters! what Cavaliers are those which were talking by you?

Jac.

Englishmen, I believe Sir, at their devotions: Cavalier, would you would try to pray a little better then you have railly'd.

aside to Wildblood.
Wild.

Hang me if I put all my devotions out of order for you: I remember I pray'd but on Tuesday last, and my time comes not till Tuesday next.

Mask.

You had as good pray, Sir; she will not stir till you have: Say any thing.

Wild.

Fair Lady, though I am not worthy of the least of your favours, yet give me the happiness this Evening to see you at your fathers door, that I may acquaint you with part of my sufferings.

aside to Jacinta.
Alon.
Come Daughters, have you done?
Jac.

Immediately Sir.—Cavalier, I will not fail to be there at the time appointed, if it be but to teach you more wit, henceforward, then to en∣gage your heart so lightly.

aside to Wildblood.
Wild.

I have engag'd my heart with so much zeal and true devotion to your divine beauty, that—

Alon.
What means this Cavalier?
Jac.
Some zealous ejaculation.
Page  12 Alon.
May the Saint-hear him.
Jac.
I'll answer for her.—
Ex. Father and Daughters.
Wild.
Now Bellamy, what success?
Bell.

I pray'd to a more Marble Saint than that was in the Shrine; but you, it seems, have been successful.

Wild.
And so shalt thou; let me alone for both.
Bell.

If you'll undertake it, I will make bold to indulge my love; and within this two hours be a desperate Inamorado. I feel I am coming apace to it.

Wild.

Faith I can love at any time with a wish at my rate: I give my heart according to the old law of pawns, to be return'd me before sun-set.

Bell.

I love only that I may keep my heart warm; for a man's a pool if love stir him not; and to bring it to that pass, I first resolve whom to love, and presently after imagine I am in love; for a strong imagination is requir'd in a Lover as much as in a Witch.

Wild.
And is this all your Receipt?
Bell.

These are my principal ingredients; as for Piques, Jea∣lousies, Duels, Daggers, and Halters, I let 'em alone to the vulgar.

Wild.

Prethee let's round the street a little; till Maskall watches for their Woman.

Bell.

That's well thought on: he shall about it immediately. We will attempt the Mistress by the Maid: Women by women still are best betray'd.

Exeunt.