Canidia, or, The witches a rhapsody, in five parts / by R.D.

CANTO XV.

••••at think ye of the Ornithii Winds, That drive all sorts of Birds at set Times, From Colder, into Hotter Climes▪ The Tropii Blasts come blundering amain, On purpose to retire back again. It has been counted no small Wonder, For Bells to dispel Lightning and Thunder.

What think ye, that Winds should enter the Lists, In anger, fighting as Duellists. A Whirlwind coming from Mountain Tops, Is laid, by sprinkling of Vinegar Drops, The opinion of Pliny, and such Fops. On Athos and Olympus, there lies The Ashes of many a Sacrifice. On which the Priest his Letters finds, Undispersed with the Winds.

The most famous Lepanto Scuffle, The Ottoman Family ever since did Ruffle. It was by Sixtus Quintus devis'd, For which he was never Canoniz'd, Sebastian was Sainted by Complacentia, For driving the Moors out of Valentia. What Prince, but Spains, in the World can be found, That has the Sun setting and rising in his Ground? That does so in Gold and Silver Mines abound?

Inraes cast off Idols in golden Peru, That the Golden Sun they might give his due: Indian, Goa, Malaca, Calecute, Were a spruce People, and very acute. Spaniards found the People so, In the Kingdom of Mexico.

Turks want Liberty and Arts, To entitle them Nobles, or Men of Parts. Where they come, they strike a deadly Blow, Depopulating all as they go. Where the Sultan's Horse sets his Paw, He treads down all Liberty and Law. Basha's, Viziers, Janizaries, Tartars, Mammalucks, Myrmidons, ruine all Christian Quar∣ters.

What think ye of Aristotle's Opinion, (Who is the Philosophers Minion.) Some are born Slaves, some are born to Rule, If I had said so, I had been a Fool, For that trick I'm not fond of his School. He entitled the Greeks Free Born, And all the rest call'd Barbarians in scorn.

In Bacara, the Kingdom of Assasins, Profest to murder all Kings. Munsters Anabaptists did the same things, 'Tis bad trusting to Icarus's Wings. Beasts Ferae Naturae, are the Occupants right, Not so with Men conquer'd by Might: To be made all Slaves the first Night, For Reasonable Creatures 'tis too Tight.

Look out sharp, for in Fair weather, The Holy War and the Philosophers Stone will come both together. Constantine was pleas'd to call, Trajan the Builder, the Flower of the Wall. Tortura Legum brings the most Cares, Penal Laws bring (Nemo scit) Snares. How many Dangers stand in Battalia, In the Clause, In ordine ad Spiritualia? This is the Port, this is the Gap, For all Societies to be took in a Trap.

I have now one great Case in my Hand, Puts all the Learned to a stand: Quo Jure, quâve Injuria, Did Spain conquer America? What just Causes for that War? Tell me, and I'le eat Tar. Columbus's Dove was nimble of Feather, To fetch that Land by Wind and Weather. The Pigeon was swift of Eye and Wing, To discover such an unknown Spring.

Curiosity first led, To find out that Golden Bed, How came this into his Head? Then Covetousness, then fierce Arms, I had no hand in these cruel Charms. Instead of being fairly Traded, The Natives were fouly Invaded, And by Oppressions overladed. And in digging of Mines meerly Jaded. For which Christianity is upbraided.

They drove the Trade that was not good, To rob their Treasure, and spill their Blood. Since then proud Spaniard never Thrives, For taking their Goods, and not saving their Lives. For Slaves they should not have been despis'd, But Cherished and Civiliz'd. So they might have had much Gains, Without putting the poor Creatures to such Pains. They might have been made Allies and Friends, To compass to both profitable Ends. There's room enough for both to dwell, Without making them change their Country for Hell.

Many fair Arguments, Are made to colour black Intents. Scholars take off your bloody Pens, Lions keep in your own Dens. For the harm you have done, ye can ne're make A∣mends, Ye Judge and Act for basest Ends. I leave this grand Cause to a higher Doom, I never twisted one Thred in this Loom.

Aqua Regis may be bold, (Ther's cause enough) to dissolve Gold. Aqua Fortis, for the Queen, May suffice to melt Silver clean. Within the Tropicks there's always a Breeze, So cold, as to make me Sneeze, Under the Poles it does ever Freeze. Castor and Pollux takes Turns, To live and dye in each others Ʋrns, The Sea Boils, but never Burns.

A rare Secret to be sold in the Market, I bring, 'Tis this, That the Earth was the first Cold Thing; I'de fain know who made the first Gold Ring. Fishes Scales never shine, till they stink, (I'm sick, Fetch me a little Drink.) Fracastarius with a Red hot Frying Pan, Drew life from the dead Heart and Brain of a Man, What virtue then is there in a Rowzing Kan? Hark the Virtuosi make a great clutter, An Indian Web of Feathers will melt Butter. Mezentius Torments were, to embrace the Dead, For my part, I'de rather be knockt o'th' Head.

Infant Rome was swadled by Kings, Nourisht by Consuls, and popular Things. Decemvirs, made Laws upon Laws, (False Heraldry,) sent into Greece to pick Straws.) Praetorian Edicts in Albo were wrote, Twelve Tables in Brass never to be forgot, (When my Moneys gone, who shall pay the shot?)

Caesar unsheath'd his Sword very quick, But put it up late, when 'twas just in the Nick. Sylla, for his part, had leave to Prate, Tho he knew no Letters, he might Dictate. Caesar, when wrapped up in the Gown, Made the best Laws in the Town, But could never get to wear a Crown. The same Caesar, when clad in Steel, Made all the Country Provinces reel.

Come, Sirs, I'le shew you a very fine Sight, Rotten Wood shines in the dark Night.

Ʋndulation is a furrowed Wind, May trouble my Body, but shall ne're puzzle my Mind, Every thing is true that's took in its kind. The Observation is Rare, It Rains not, but it Blows every where.

Our Ancestors did admire, To see a Childs Apron flash with Fire. With Salt and Allom that Apron was dy'd, The Scales of which round about fly'd. This Reason could never be deny'd, And so the Cause was fully try'd. A Fire licking a Childs Hair, Was to be seen at Sturbridge Fair, With a lambent Flame all over a Sweating Mare. For Answer to which▪ let whose will take care, That Head may be Bald, where there grows no Hair.

A Free hold Will shall hold in Capite, Says Cornelius a Lapide. A Will in Copy-Hold must fail, Not so, in Fee Simple or Fee Tail. The Taylor that makes Pety-Coats for the Moon, Had need to take measures every Noon, Feed the poor Baby with a Dish and a Spoon.

A Professor of Schelstat in Alsatia, Agrees with the Doctors of Dalmatia. That no Passion is so deadly base. As is the poyson of Favour and Grace; Then Out-law the Law, Crown, Scepter and Mace. Le Roy le Voult, makes Law and Jus. Provided the Seignieurs sont Assentuz.

Popular Tumults are most Nefandi, Nullum Malum pejus Libertate Errandi, Never allow Potestatem Negandi.

Drag the Traytor upon a Hirdle, Hang the Alcoran at the Devil's Girdle. All Wickedness acts Cum Privilegio, Says honest Cardinal Campegio. Why do Tribunes make such a Pudder? Tye up the Helm, pull up the Rudder. Let the Vessel ride a Drift, Cut Cables, slip Anchors, let all Shift.

The Virtuo••i, I'de ha'you know't, Say, every Beast delights in some Musical Note. A Kitt was toucht, a Fly made the Cow curveat, Ay that's it, quoth the Scholar, play that again neat. Quae Genus's Deficients and Redundants, Breed of Heteroclites Abundants. Quod Primum id Rectum est, we're all mistook, Lies came in late, by Hook or by Crook, We're all cheated, with, or without Book.

Narcissus, Nireus, Tyro, Lede, Hyacinth, Branchus, Hylos, Atys, a pure Breed, Cupid, Ixion, Laco, and Ganymede. These, and the like, pickt up for Catamits, To serve for no less than Celestial Wights. Hebe, Daphne, Moenades, Corybantes, Sober and mad Females Sycophants. Juno, Venus, in vain fret and vex, For those that came in their rooms, of the male Sex.

They must be Cup-bearers to Jove and the Gods, And Bedfellows too, tho fitter for Rods. At presenting and taking the Bowl, they are kist, While the Wives wish the Rogues worse than be∣pist, But they cannot help it, they must be whist. Tho the Boys and Girls do kick and sprall, They cannot lye without 'um at all, They are ready to come, and go at their Call.

Cupid excuses his Tricks to Venus Chiding, Because Objects of Love were of his providing. But he did only demonstrate and show, That which Fools Appetites would not let go. Hercules took it for a great Disgrace, When Jove prefer'd Aesculape to the highest Place. As Venus was Cupids, her Sons, Whipper, So Omphale bang'd Hercules with her Slipper.

Menippus, like Hercules, in a Lions Sark, Frighted poor Cerberus in the Dark, That he durst not so much as Bark. He took Mithrobarzanes the Magician, To be his Guide to the Fields Elysian, Where they two disguis'd stood, and heard all The Passages in Pluto's Judgment Hall. And having searched for their Pleasure, Unconcern'd, they return'd at leisure.

Let me commend this, Brave Menippus, For a nobler good Fellow than Aristippus. They call him a Dog, worse than come out, But he hunted himself to Hell, in, and out.

With his Lions Skin, Harp and Club, Like Hercules, he gave the Barking Cur a Drub, More than Diogenes could do with his Tub. He cheated Charon of his Fare, a Groat, After he had like to sink his Boat. Besides many a Railing Note, He was ready to cut his Throat.

He observ'd all the Ghosts, low and high, To Mino's Courts he came for a Spy. First he enquir'd after Princes and Kings, Found 'um selling of Pins, and counterfeit Rings. Singing Ballads, begging in each Corner-street, For Farthings, of every Ghost they meet. Philip of Macedon crept in a dark Hole, Was Cobling of Shoes, and picking up Cole.

Commanders and Lords of high Degree, He found teaching of A, B, C. Selling of Sallets, Salt, Custards and Toys, And all sorts of Play things for Girls and Boys.

Next he enquires for the Men of the Schools, And here they were counted the greatest Fools. Socrates, that was erst so Grave, Courts Palamedes, Ʋlysses, Nestor, and each prating Knave. Diogenes joyns with Sardanapalus the Assyrian, And with Midas the golden Phrygian. And others of the like Prodigal stamp, That hunted for Poverty, and got the Cramp. Diogenes is got among the Throngs, And pleases 'um with merry Songs. For which the Sober sort did not love him, But beg'd farther off to remove him.

There was Timon the Man Hater, That spent all by Feasting, Dice, and Cinque Cater. All sorts of Flatterers and Woers, Prov'd the rich Athenians Undoers. 'Til they brought the Rich old Blade, To the Shovel and the Spade. Then Curst he Jove and all his Mates, That had undone him, more than the Fates. Jove offer'd to put him out of his pain, Sent him to Plutus, to make him rich again. Because he had offer'd him many a Hecatomb in vain. At first he refus'd 'till he heard his Spade knock, By good luck, upon a golden Crock.

Pythagoras was so hungry in Hell, That he could eat Beans very well. So the Philosophers of every kind, After Death did change their Mind. Tyresius, a Woman was she, Turn'd Man, with the gift of Prophecy.

Hesiod, Homer, Bundles and Faggits, Of Epicks, Comicks, and Tragicks. Heroicks, Amorists and Lyricks, Fabulists all, but the Satyricks. Their Tales pleas'd his youthful Muse, Not able to judge of their great Abuse. When Riper, he learnt the Wisdom of Laws, And by them discover'd Poetical Flaws, Which cur'd him of Folly, more than the Spaws.

But in his more solid Elder Times, When best able to judge of Virtues and Crimes.

He fell into the Philosophers Snares, But could ne're understand how went the Squares. Gross Ignorance of every kind, Wholly confounded and dark'ned his Mind. They hurl'd him out, that which they call Summum Bonum, With a thousand Opinions that none could Attone 'um. Neither they, nor their Fathers before 'um, 'Tis a wonder the Boys in the Streets did not Stone 'um.

Rhadamanth••, Minos, Aeacus, Agamemnon, Sardanapalus. Diomedes, Ajax, Achilles, Ptolomy, Cyrus, Xerxes, Ʋlysses. Solon, Thales, Spensippus, Pittacus, Socrates, Aristippus. Aristotle, Euphorbus, Plato, Croesus, Crassus, Theophrastus, Cato. Are the obscurest Shades in all the Fry, Buried to all Eternity.

Timon, 〈 in non-Latin alphabet 〉〈 in non-Latin alphabet 〉, the Regrater, Was both a Man and a Woman Hater, Just betwixt Wind and Water. Berthaldus Swart, from a Pot-gun, Cast Culverings that made Armies run. Chiron the only Fool, that chose to Try, Being Immortal, how to dye.

Jupiter, Philus, Hospitalis, Sospitator, Altitonans, Nubitogens, Jusjurandus, Fulgurator. In his Youth was Frolick like a Colt, And laid about him with many a Thunderbolt.

But now in his Age he's dull and lazy, If not rather feeble and crazy. The Slavering Grey-Beard, Smacks and Busses, Tires Boys and Girls, Puppies and Pusses, A Pathick Cynedus, or Lustful Sporus, Would scorn to joyn with such an Effeminate Cho∣rus.

We purpose to call 'um all before us, Ask 'um why they Berogue and Whore us? When they all sorts of Baseness commit, Without all Honesty, Manners, or Wit. What wise Man that could but see out of his Eyes, Would ever believe them to be the Deities? Or honour them with any Sacrifice? Inventors and Practisers of all Lyes.

There he was most of all at a loss, There he found Ignorance in gross, Which made his Brains all in a toss. There was all you could possibly ghess, To make up the bundle of Happiness. Some were for Labours, Pains, and Scorns, Others for Cuckolds golden Horns. Some for all Jollity and Pleasure, Others for Gold and Silver, heapt measure, Jewels of all sorts, to make up their Treasure.

Some for Virtue joyn'd with Riches, (But I find none for Witches.) Some had so little Wits, To pick up Crums, and lick Spits. But I suppose there's not one in twenty, But had the wit to choose Pleasure and Plenty, Non datur vacuum, there's no Place empty.

Felicity therefore there must lull, Where all's in store, where all's full. Believe Philosophy you that wull, It hath been hitherto a Gull. All Atheism did once commence, From the Denial of Providence. Our Heads are full of dry Notions, Our Hearts void of Devotions, The Rack and the Wheel are our Promotions.

Every Man now will be sure of his Trull, (All his Learning, is but a Gull.) And his Bardash, for Orpheus says, 'tis no Bull. They that think 'tis, have an empty Skull, 'Twil come to Kiss-Cow at last, Come Mull, Come Mull. We find by good Laws, that Adultery and Rapes, Murders, Incests, and all sorts of Escapes; Could never be done by the Immortal Gods, But such as ought to be lasht with Infernal Rods. Old Beldam Rhea, forsooth, must run mad, For love of Atys, a prety Lad.

His last Shift was to go to the Magicians, Zoroaster's Disciples, as to the best Physicians. So, by help of a Magick Spell, He got safely in, and out of Hell, And understood all their Intrigues very well.

Alexander, and others, made their Addresses, To be install'd Egyptian Gods or Goddesses. In Egypt, it seems, 'twas counted great odds, For Rome and Greece had Gentiler Gods. Isis, and Apis, and Osyris, Anubis, Horus, and Busyris.

Besides Oxen, Dogs and Cats, Garlick and Onions, Mice and Rats. So 'twas hardly worth the while, To be worshipped, for a God, at Nile.

Bacchus got to be an Indian Numen, Who had his Thyrsus, to try Truemen. Cestus, what was it▪ but a Switch, To prove Venus to be a Witch? Tripos Oracle Undertakers, Were most likely Ranters and Quakers.

Caduceus, Mercury's Wand, Of Ghosts Infernal had Command. A winged Heel'd Herald, was he a Drudge, To sweep Rooms, and on Errands Trudge? A Thief, I have heard him often grudge.

Pelop's Race had no Shoulder Vein, Like a pure Alablaster Grain. Alexander stinks of Sulphur in Hell, That boasted of his Aromatick smell. Euphorbus told a rowzing Lye, In Hell he had no golden Thigh. Empedocles minded to try his Skill, Came half roasted from Aetna's Hill; So Fools pay dear for having their Will.

Socrates feign'd a chearful Grace, By boldly looking Death in the Face. But at sight of Hell's vast Gulf, Cry'd like a Child, and howl'd like a Wolf. All Braggadoci'os, when they come there, Like Cowards fall into a Bodiless fear.

Protesilaus wisht one Days respit, To see his new Spouse, and return at Night. Orpheus had the liberty, For his fair Wife Eurydice. Mercury jumbles all Ghosts together, Over the Stygian Lake in wind and weather. The Drink in the Lethean Bowl, Creates Forgetfulness to every Soul.

None can distinguish Royal Stems, What Necks have been adorn'd with Gems, Or Skulls with Crown or Diadems. Beggars, wise and wealthy Blades, Fare all alike among the Shades.

Beauty, is naked Bones, bald Pates, flat Noses, For them that us'd to be crown'd with Roses. Mausolus, the Prince of Car, With Thersytes writes, Par. The Mausolaeum and the Tub, Lye together of Equal Club. That Monument in Halycarnassus, Is of less Fame than the Hill Parnassus.