The guardian, a comedie acted before Prince Charls, His Highness at Trinity-Colledg in Cambridge, upon the twelfth of March, 1641
Cowley, Abraham, 1618-1667.

Act. 4. Scaen. 8.

Cutter, Dogrel, and Puny disguis'd.
Pun.

Me thinks. I look now like a two-peny apple pye, I know no how.

Dog.

Iohn, What's your name, Iohn? I have forgot your name, Iohn.

Pun.

Do you mean the name that was given me at the Font?

Dog.

Font? Font? I do not remember that Font. Let me see my scroll.

(Reads.)
There's ne'er a such town in Africa as Font. I do not remember Font.

Pun.

Your memory, Sir, 's as short as an Ephemerides.

Dog.

Did not I warn you, Iohn, of such strange what-d'ye-call ums? Here's for that word.

(Strikes.)
I have forgot what word 'twas: for the word I mean.

Pun.

Pox take you, Dogrel, you strike too hard.

Cut.

Thou'dst act well, I see: we'll ha' thee to Golden-lane, and there thou shalt do Page  [unnumbered] a King, or else some God in thine own cloathes.

Dog.
When a dead man from Orcus I re∣tract,
Well may you see that to the life I act.
Pun.

Did not I warn you o' these what-d'ye-call-ums? 'Faith we'll be even, Ma∣ster.

Stikes him.

Cut.

Very well, Iohn; those be good Me∣morandums for your Master.

Dog.

I should be angry with thee for it, but that I ha' quite forgot it.

Cut.

Let's see your scroll.

(Reads)
Memorandum for my house: I have a house in Fleetstreet, with a garden to't. My daugh∣ter is call'd Lucia; a handsome fair maid with red cheeks, black eyes, and brown hair, and a little dimple in her chin. My brother's name (to whom I left the charge of my daughter) is Blade. (A most excellent Note indeed.) What ha' we here? Memoran∣dums concerning my estate. What, they're all of this stamp, are they not? Take heed, Dogrel, the Captain's a shrewd fellow; he'll examine you more strictly then the Spanish Inquisition can.

Dog.

Pish, if he pose me in any thing, my memory's weak, he knows; I h' forgot it quite.

Cut.

And then your voice I fear; and then—

Dog.

Pox take you, Cutter; a Casuist would not finde so many scruples.

Pun.

The devil's in't, I shall never do this part; I know not how to speak and not be witty.

Cut.

Well, look to't, gallants; if the Captain finde you out, he'll abuse you most unmercifully—I'm now for Tabytha.

Pun.

The Captain abuse me? By this day, I'll jeer with him with my hands bound be∣hinde me. Come away, Master.

Dog.

I, Iohn; but which way did we come?

Pun.

Why this way, Master.

Dog.

Then that way we must go. Is not this my house in Fleet street, Iohn I thought you had said t' had been in Fleet street.

Pun.

Yes, so 'tis, Sir.

Dog.

Truly I thought you said so. Come away, Iohn.

Exeunt.