A treatise of jealousie, or, Means to preserve peace in marriage wherein is treated of I. The nature and effects of jealousie, which for the most part is the fatal cause of discontents between man and wife, II. And because jealousy is a passion, it's therefore occasionally discoursed of passions in general ... III. The reciprocal duties of man and wife ... / written in French, and faithfully translated.

CAAP. IV. Of the Marriage of Christians, ac∣cording to the primary Institution thereof by God himself, and its re-establishment by Christ.

IF Jealousie be in no Case suitable to* 1.1 Married Persons, according to the Order of Nature, it must be infinitely less becoming these Persons that profess the Name of Christianity; for Jealou∣sie breaks the Bands of Society that God himself established in the Creation of Men and Women, and destroys the very Essence of Marriage by which he would unite them, that thereby they might have the oppertunity to perform all the Duties that true Love requires of them in all their occasions: and that the more for that we ought not only to consider the Inclination that Nature has Imprin∣ted in every Animal to produce its like but the Intention and Will of the Au∣thor of Nature, all whose precepts we are obliged to perform, for by these ve∣ry precepts at the end of time, we shall be Judged either to Life or to Death.

And we must know that God esta∣blished* 1.2 Marriage to be a Society of Man and Woman wherein they are united by an Indissoluble tye, and that this Tie is no o∣ther than a Band of Love, which God employs as an Instrument to preserve Nature, and to make Charity Spring here below amongst Men, until he shall be pleased one day to perfect it in Hea∣ven by the fulness of his Love.

In short, could the Love, which* 1.3 ought to be the Band of Marriage, be better expressed, or more efficaciously enjoyn'd, than when God says, the Man shall leave his Father and Mother to cleave to his Wife, and to be one Flesh with her, and that this is a Conjunction made by the hand of God, which no Man ought to break; a 1.4 Likewise a famous Divine explaining this Passage, b 1.5 saith that the Union of the Husband ought to be nearer and more insepera∣ble with his Wife, than with his Parents, for as much as the Wife of the first Man was Formed of part of his Body, when as a Man is not Formed of part of his Parents Body; God willing thereby, give us to know that Married Persons ought to be firmly United one to the other as though they were no more than

one single Person; and that Marriage was instituted to make them one Flesh, by means of the Nuptial Bed. This is indeed the Natural consequence of these Words, he shall eleave to his Wife, and they two shall be one Flesh: The Man shall cleave (saith God) that is, by Love, in loving her as his own proper Body, and by the Nuptial Bed, whose Bands are not to be unloosed. What is it, in effect, to quit ones Father and Mo∣ther, and cleave to his Wife, but to Love her with that affection that surpasses all other? Even that, that Naturally Unites the Hearts of Children to their Parents, which is the strongest and tenderest of all other affections besides.

Thou shalt to her a Father be, And as a Brother lovingly Shalt Cherish her, a Mothers Love From thee, in her shall Reverence move.

So the Husband ought to supply to his Wife the place of Father, Mother, Brother, and all other Relations; Yea, much more, two Persons must make up but one. Behold then the highest pitch that Love is capable of reaching too. Behold the height of the most ar∣dent

Amity that can be conceiv'd, to be so conjoyn'd with the thing loved as to become one and the same thing with it. a 1.6 This Love is a Symbole of that Cae∣lestial Love that shall be perfected in the Elect, when having put off this sinful Flesh, and are renewed by Christ, they shall be made one with him. Can that Union then between the very Soul and Body, be more perfect than is that of Persons joyned in Marriage? Can there be any thing more admirable, since to comprehend it we must conceive a kind of Miracle, imagining two Persons are not two, but simply one? That is to say, the one ought to be so nearly Uni∣ted to the other by Love, that whatever touches the one, be it Good or be it Evil, it also affects the other so lively, that there is no difference in their resent∣ments. It is this miraculous Love that makes the Union of Marriage, which Union is undissolv••ble, according to our Divine Law-giver, so long as this Love subsists, and is not banished by infideli∣ty to that Bed which God has made Sa∣cred to Marriage. b 1.7

If then it be this Love that, according* 1.8 to the intention of the words of our Sa∣viour, is the Sacred Tye of the Mar∣riage

of Christians, there can be no∣thing* 1.9 more opposite to it than Jealousie, since, being the pernicious Bud of Lux∣ury, the most unbridled of all our Pas∣sions, it is impossible that it can consist with the tenderness and holy peace of that Love that conjoyns Man and Wife. Now this Love being a Command of God, which we violate by these Mo∣tions of Self-Love, it necessarily follows that we commit a manifest Sin every time we give way to this Passion of Jea∣lousie: And therefore to say that a Man or Womans Love is commendable for their being Jealous, is the same thing as to say, it is commendable to offend God.

But that we may be yet further con∣vinced,* 1.10 St. Paul does not only give us the Commands of God on this Subject, but on his own part he gives us the con∣dition of Marriage between Man and Wife; in as much as on the one side he recommends to Christian Husbands to Love their Wives; and on the other he recommends to the Wives to be submis∣sive to their Husbands in loving them: Husbands Love your Wives, saith he, even as Christ loved his Church, and gave him∣self to Dye for it, a 1.11 so let Husbands Love

their Wives even as their own Bodies. b 1.12 Indeed, saith a Learned Doctour, c 1.13 in explaining this Passage, as Jesus Christ is over and Rules his Church, and which he Governs and Protects for its own Good, even so a Husband ought to Command and Govern his Wife, both for her own and whole Families good. But we must here observe that since St. Paul has ordered Husbands to Love their Wives, he thereby teaches them not to Command or Govern them Imperiously, but with Mildness and in Love, that thereby the Yoak of the Power of the Husband may be rendered lighter and more easie. So the Husband, saith ano∣ther Learned Man, must know that Marriage is the highest degree of all Amities whatever; and that Amity is vastly different from Tyranny, since Tyrants are not obeyed but by force. b 1.14 This for the Part of the Husband.

As to what respects the Part of the Wife, he ceases not to preach submission to them: Let Wives, saith he, submit to* 1.15 their Husbands as to the Lord, because the Man is the head of the Woman, even as Christ is the Head of the Church, which is his Body, and whereof also he is the Savi∣our; as therefore the Church is obedient to

Christ, so let Women also be obedient to their Husbands in all things. a 1.16 Let Women then consider the Person of our Lord and Saviour, who is the Head and E∣spouse of the Church, in the Person of their Husbands. Neither does this sub∣mission at all exclude the Love of the Wife towards the Husband, but on the contrary ought to be accompanied with Love; as though St. Paul should say, I charge the Wife that she not only love her Husband, but also that she fear him, and bear to him a respect as to her Master and Head to whom she ones submission, for which reason she ought to take all care not to give him offence, and thus much for Women.

In which we cannot but admire the* 1.17 Justice, and at the same time the im∣portance of the words of this great Apostle. He saith to Husbands, Love your Wives; knowing well that if they loved them they would not hearken to any Infidelity that could loosen their conjugal Unity, for Love is the very Tye and Cement of this Union; he knew well that to Love them is to Love their own selves, b 1.18 since they are one Flesh with them, and to oblige them to a reciprocal Love: and lastly he saith

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to them, Love your Wives. Thereby giveing them to understand that the Su∣periority of the Husband ought to be altogether in Love. Then he saith to the Women, Love your Husbands; but he adds, be ye subject to your Husbands. Let them that are grown up in years, saith he, * 1.19 instruct the young Married Women with Prudence, teaching them to Love their Husbands and Children, to be Orderly, Chast, Diligent in Ruling their House, Good, submitting to their Husbands. He adds it, to let them know that a Woman should so Love her Husband, that she bear him Respect, and so to Respect him that she Love him also; for from these two Sentences conjoyned arises the Duty of a Wife towards her Hus∣band. A Woman must be not only Good and Compliant, but also submit∣ting and Obedient to her Husband, be∣cause he is her Head. The Apostle com∣mands Obedience in the Woman, be∣cause he knew from the Nature of Hu∣mane Genius, that this Submission would Infallibly maintain Love in the heart of the Husband, nothing in the World ten∣ding so much to win the heart and cre∣ate Love as Submission; so that Sub∣mission in the Woman nourishes Love

in her Husband, and the Love of the Husband reproducing or multiplying it self in a 1.20 the Woman, from thence Springs that marvellous Unity which God design'd in distinguishing the Sexes, and instituting Marriage, in which Holy Contract, it is the Mans part to Fur∣nish Love, and the Womans Obedience and Respect.

So St. Paul does not describe this Love* 1.21 of a Husband as a common Love, but proposes for example the inviolable Love of Christ Jesus for his Church, (as far as Man is capable of imitating this great example) thereby giving it the Character of the sincerest of all Loves, nor can there be a greater Love than to dye for one, as by this example Hus∣bands are obliged to dye for their Wives if necessity requires it.

In short, It is this that Sanctifies Mar∣riage,* 1.22 for it is a Sacrament, because the agreement of their Wills, and the Uni∣on of their Bodies, signifie on the one* 1.23 hand the Charity, which is according to the Spirit, between God and Righ∣teous Souls, or the Church, and on the other the Sacred Marriage that Jesus

Christ has contracted with the same Church by the Mistery of his Holy In∣carnation. This Sacred Marriage ought therefore to serve for an Example to Man in Marriage; Husbands ought to Love their Wives as Christ loved his Church; not that St. Paul exacts of Man an equal affection; but only that they imitate his Example: For Hus∣bands ought to look upon Christ who is the Espouse of the Church, as a Model for all the Circumstances of their Love, wherewith they ought to Love their Wives.

On the other hand, he is not to be* 1.24 understood on the part of the Woman, as if he spoke of some slight kind of Submission, but a Submission perfectly entire, in all things whatsoever, espe∣cially respecting the conduct of the Fa∣mily of the Husband, whereof she is a Member. In such sort that in this So∣ciety there must be no more than one sole Will, and which is that of the Hus∣band;

two differing Wills not being ca∣pable of Union: So that to say it once over again, the Husband commanding or imposing nothing on the Wife but what is reasonable, and consonant to the Power that God has given her, and to the perfect Love he has commanded him to have for her: And she for her part being Obedient and Submitting to him in the Lord in every thing without any exception; they together effect that which is altogether admirable, that of two Persons they make but simply one in Marriage.

Upon these immoveable Principles,* 1.25 not only the Ecclesiastical Laws, who contain the Precepts of the Gospel, and the Interpretation of the Fathers, but also the Civil Laws are founded, to esta∣blish the Discipline we ought to observe in a State of Marriage. All which do so unanimously ordain a mutual Love between the Persons Married, the Su∣periority of the Husband, and the Sub∣mission and Obedience of the Wife, to the forming of Marriage, that if any one of these be a wanting, they ac∣knowledge there no more Society, al∣though the Bands are not broke before the Death of one of the two Married

Persons: It is not the Bed, says the Law∣yer, but the agreement of their minds that makes a Marriage, and where ever this mutual agreement is not, there can be no Marriage.

Now to all this, No place is wanting* 1.26 of Authorities for recommending to the Woman Submission, Subjection, and Obedience; for though she may some∣times be called. (a) Mistress of the Fa∣mily, or Companion, by her Husband; yet, this does not give her any Com∣mand nor any Share in the Authority of the Family. When she is Marrying, they Cover her with a Vail thereby shewing her, that she ought to be Hum∣ble and Submissive to her Husband. As soon, saith St. Ambrose, as Rebecca per∣ceived Isaac coming, asking who he was, and being enformed, that it was he that should Espouse her, she Bared her Feet, and began to Cover her self with a Vail, thereby Teaching us, that a Submissive Shame-facedness should even preceed their Marriage. Nor can any Wife be per∣mitted to perform it, if she have Vow∣ed a Vow of Continence, without the permission of the Husband, and that, because she must be Submitting to her Husband in all things. It is agreeable

to the Order of Nature, that Women Submit to their Husbands, as well as Children to their Parents, since it would be injust, that the Greater should be Subject to the Less. The true Mark, ••hat Man is the Image of God, is, that he is as Lord, and Exercises an Empire, which only appertains to God; for e∣very King, or he that Exercises Com∣mand, carrys thereby the Image of God; and from hence, in part, it may be said, that God made Man after his own Image; for which reason, the Apostle saith, That Man ought not to Co∣ver his Face, because he is the Image and Glory of God; whereas the Woman ought ••o Cover hers, because she cannot be said to be either the Image, or the Glory of God. A Woman that refuseth to Obey her Husband, who is the Head of the Woman, as Christ is the Head of the Husband, does not Offend less therein, than the Husband should, if he denied to Obey Christ. The Woman Scanda∣lizes the Word of God, when she Con∣temns that Sentence that was by him pronounced to her, Thou shalt be under* 1.27 the Power of thy Husband; Dishonour∣ing thereby the Holy Gospel, in as much, as against the Law, and the In∣tention

of Nature; she that professeth Christianity, and by the Order of God ought to be Subject to her Husband yet notwithstanding, would Command him; yea, although the very Paga•• Women Obey and Submit to their Hus∣bands, following only the Law of Na∣ture. Lastly, Since Adam was De∣ceived by Eve, and not Eve by Adam, it is but Just that she should take him for Master, whom, by making him ac∣cessary, she made Guilty of the Punish∣ment, for the Fault that was hers; and the rather, that being under his Con∣duct, she may not fall again by the Weakness of her Sex. Now all this we are Taught by the Holy Scriptures, the Fathers of the Church, and the Cano∣nical Law.

Let us now ask the Question of the* 1.28 People of this World, Whether or no, according to these Rules which ought to be Inviolable and Sacred to us, since our Destruction and Salvation depend thereon; a Man that makes profession of Christianity, imitates, as he is ob∣liged to do, the Union and Love of Christ for his Church, when he has a Sensual Jealousie of his Wife? I would Ask, Whether or no, a Christian Wo∣man

gains to her self a good Report, by being Jealous? And how that Mo∣desty, which ought to accompany Marriage; together with this Com∣mand of God, Wives be Subject to your Husbands? Can consist or agree with the many Contradictions she Daily wea∣••ies her Husband withal? How with her Haughtiness, Outrages, Reproach∣es, Invectives, Disobedience, and Fret∣ings, which her Jealousie continually ••ut her upon? Can this be to be Sub∣••ect to her Husband, to Elevate her self above him, in pretending to Instruct him, and to Censure and Examine all his Actions, thereby Raising Contests, Bitterness and Contempt?

So far are these Extravagancies from being the Attendants of the Holiness of a Sacrament (* 1.29) Instituted by God, ••hat they are directly a Reversing of both Divine and Humane Laws; they are the Violation of Marriage, and the breaking off of Union: For if by this Holy and Inviolable Contract, and as God has Commanded by St. Paul, the Husband is Obliged to Love his Wife, with the most Pure and Perfect Love of all other; and the Woman is Obliged to Humble, Obey and Submit, her self

to her Husband; it necessarily follows that, if the Husband only Love his Wife with a Sensual Love, which give way for him to commit a Thousand Outrages against her; and the Woman not Humbling her self, and Submitting to her Husband; they destroy the Com¦mands of God; the one for being a Tyrant, instead of a Father; and the other, for not only Transgressing the Rules of Obedience, which is her Lot, but also Extinguishing the Love God has Commanded her Husband to have for her, by her Vexatious Humour. And indeed, if he Love her afterwards, as he is Obliged to do by the Rules of Charity; he can have no other Love for her, than such a one, as a Man has for an open Enemy; not a Tender and Holy Love. Which being so, there remains no more Conjugal Love, no more Union, nor no more Society, for which God Instituted Marriage.

Notes

• * 1.1

  Jealousie breaks off the Society which God himself has est∣blished.
• * 1.2

  Why God established Marriage.
• * 1.3

  Of the force of the Ʋinion of Marriage.
• a 1.4

  Mat. 19. 4.
• b 1.5

  Jausen. in concord. Evang: c. 11.
• a 1.6

  Viv. de off. mar.
• b 1.7

  Mat. 32.
• * 1.8

  ••••at Jea∣••••usie is in∣〈…〉〈…〉sistant.
• * 1.9

  with the Marriage of Chri∣sti••••s.
• * 1.10

  Contracts▪ of Marri∣age occor∣ding to St. Paul, Hus∣bands must Love their Wives.
• a 1.11

  Ephes 5. 25.
• b 1.12

  Ephes. 5. 28.
• c 1.13

  Estius in Epist. ad Eph. c. 5. v. 22.
• b 1.14

  Viv. de ••ff. mar.
• * 1.15

  That Wives must sub∣mit to their Hus∣bands.
• a 1.16

  Eph. 5. 22.
• * 1.17

  Reciprocal: Duty of Man and Wife.
• b 1.18

  Qui 〈◊〉〈◊〉 ligit ux••¦rem su•• corpus su∣um diligit & pro in∣de seipsum ••i quan∣tum caput & corpus unim quid constitum Estius in Epis. 1 ad cor. 7. 4.
• * 1.19

  1 Epist. to Tit. 2. 4.
• a 1.20

  Habet viri amor presens continuo suum prae∣mium: & in pectus uxoris transit ea flamma, ut ea quoque flagrantissime amet, viv. de off. mar.
• * 1.21

  The Love of Hus∣bands to their wives according to St. Paul.
• * 1.22

  Why Mar∣riage is a Sacrament.
• * 1.23

  Note, This is a Tenet of the Ro∣mish Doc∣trine, which it seems the Aut. pro∣fest, and though our Religion does not al∣low it to be a Sacra∣ment be∣cause not Instituted by God as a Mistical Seal of a Covenant, between him and us: Yet that ought not to abrogate or lessen our esteem of it, be∣ing a thing so sacred and necessary as the Author well proves, in whose conclusion we may acquiess, he not having a greater Veneration for it under the mistake of a Sacrament, than we ought to have for it as a Law Instituted by God, and so indispensably commanded by Nature.
• * 1.24

  What kind of Submis∣sion the Wife must yeild.
• * 1.25

  Laws of Marriage according to the Canons and the Fathers.
• * 1.26

  Ʋxor do∣mina est & sociare rerum ma∣riti ipsius; sed domi∣na dicitur quia non potest agi furtum, li∣cet furtum committat. Gloss. Gratian. 27. q. 2. cap. 17.
• * 1.27

  Gen. 3. 16. He shall Rule over thee.
• * 1.28

  Jealousie is Inconsistent with these Principles.
• * 1.29

  See the Note at p. 61 & 62.