A new play call'd The Pragmatical Jesuit new-leven'd a comedy
Carpenter, Richard, d. 1670?
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Act 5. Scene 6.

Enter Agrippa.
Agrip.

They within depend upon me to begin this last Scene with a Dance fa∣shionable to our Matter: and they will not be denied. The Dancers commence their entrance.

Enter a Monk.

This is the Monk that Poison'd Henry the seventh Emperour, in a Church, being devoutly on his knees: In what manner he poison'd him, it is profane to name, and therefore was most impious and most execrable to do. Andreas Lampugnanus, a Courtier of Millan, neerly followed him, in Time, with respect unto the Place, and in the substance of Practise; but the Devil could not have scrued a Wicked∣ness higher than the Monk did. Rottennes follow both their memories.

Enter an other Monk.

This is the Monk that Poison'd John King of England in a Monastery, and that he might accomplish his mischievous work without suspicion, first poison'd himself, drinking a health to the King in a poison'd Cup. Let his Name be thought as poisonous as his Poison.

Enter Clement.

This is Clement the Jacobin Frier, that Page  63 murthered Henry the third, King of France, by searching into his body with a sanctified Knife; to whose Pralse Sice Cinque, the great Caliph at Rome, a kinde of almighty Favourer and Patron of the Jesuits, dedicated a Panegyricall Ora∣tion; May he and his Patron be never remembred, but under the notion that the Devil was Patron to both.

Enter Barrier.

This is Barrier, that attempted the murther of Henry the fourth, the late fa∣mous King of France, with a poison'd Altar-Dagger, a Poison'd Dagger con∣secrated on the Altar. May he and his Dagger be odious to the whole Mass of Mankinde.

Enter Raviliack.

This is Raviliack, Barriers Executor; animated thereunto by Varad a Jesuit: Let him and his Counsell our be so loath'd and abhorr'd by all men, that after∣wards the very Toad may seem amiable to us.

Enter Vaux.

This with his dark Lanthorn is Guido Vaux. His horrid attempt and compli∣ance with Garnet and Oldcorn Jesuits, and others is not forgotten; though the Age now declining, the Friends of that Fa∣ction report it a meer Fable: In the Age following, they will infallibly declare it a Fable ex Gathedrâ. Father Tompson, our Schollars Ghostly Father at Rome, boasted that he was an Actor in the Pow∣der-Treason, and that he then digg'd many times under our Parliament-House till every thred of his shirt was wet. All those horrid Plotters were afterwards chronicled for Martyrs, in the English Martyrologie printed Anno Dom. 1608, and Garnets Picture exposed to sale, was adorned with Rayes about the Head, sig∣nifying his Glory and Saintship. May all good People lay the memories of these Saints beneath them, when they go to the little House in the Garden.

Enter Tony.

This is Tony, a young extract of Ro∣mish blood, that wounded our Poet in the face with a Knife of the Dagger-Fa∣shion, intending to kill him. Let him pass as the simple Tony, and Fool of the Company. If any one hath incurr'd that wicked Name of Rebel, let him behold here with horrour, whom he hath imita∣ted: The Monks have imitated the De∣vil, the first and grand Rebel; the Jesu∣its have imitated the Monks, and the De∣vil; and Rebels imitate the Jesuits, the Monks, & the Devil.

They dance. Exeunt.

Enter F. Robert with Books.
Rob.

Sir, will you buy a Book, a Godly Book?

Agr.

What Books have you?

Rob.

Books of Devotion, Sir: you may take your choice of English or La∣tin.

Agr.

Are you a Booksellour?

Rob.

Yes, Sir, a poor one: but my Books are not sold publickly.

Agr.

Your Books, I see, belong to the t'other side of the great Pond.

Rob.

They do, Sir: therefore they bear the higher price here.

Enter Madam Hypocrisie and Pretty.

Madam, will your Ladiship be pleas'd to buy a Book?

Enter Aristotle Junior.

Sir, I have good Books to sell.

Arist.

Are you there again. He sells his Books as a Pedling sort of men sell Page  64 base Tobacco; in the streets, but with∣out publick notice.

Enter Lucifer.
Lucif.

One short word with you, Sir: You remember the most heavy charge you laid upon me.

Agr.

I do.

Lucif.

I have done what lies on my part. If there were an Ocean of Time, I could meet it with a Sea of Matter: But all things have their assigned limits: and by the foot of Hercules, Pythagoras his Schollar may proportion the whole Bo∣dy. I have carried you up to the highest Orb of my Policies: which is: to dis∣guise the most innocent and most simple Persons into the most busie-witted and most pragmaticall: and thereby, to turn vertue in her native white, and her un∣mingled colour, forth into contempt: So that all true Piety comes into the gripe of Scorn; and all Truth within the censure of Suspition: onely Politick Knaves thrive, and poor Honesty is neglected and rejected. Now Sir, having done my work I expect my wages.

Agr.

What wages?

Lucif.

Your self.

Agr.

I renounce you.

Lucif.

I shall not easily renounce my Right in you. Look you, Sir. I can ap∣pear like my self at my pleasure.

Hypr.

Heaven shield us: Is our most reverend Father turn'd Devil? Father Robert help us. Lend me a godly Book.

Prett.

And me another. O good lack, I have been at confession with the devil ma∣ny a time. I fear he will not keep counsel.

Arist.

This is strange in a high and mighty measure. Yet Mistris. Few there are of your reverend Fathers, that would not shrink into Devils, if they should ap∣pear in their own likenes.

Rob.

I am amaz'd. What! Is my re∣verend Brother a Devil? Thou foul fin: would'st thou be so limit-less, as to take our holy Habit upon thee? how durst thou presume to touch it?

Agr.

Sir, he claims me too; because I commanded him by the Power of natu∣ral Magick: and for this he would spoil our Comedy.

Lucif.

I have rather conserv'd your Comedy: who should otherwise have introduced the Monks poisoning their Adversaries, and the Jesuites lessoning their Scholars at the sight of Pictures, and the stabbing of Images, to stab and kill.

Rob.

Let me see, where is my Flagel∣lum Daemonum? Thou hellish Dog, De∣part, or I will amand, ablegate, and send thee to some vast and horrid Desert, where in all thy Apparitions thou shalt fright nothing but contemptible Flies, ignoble Serpents, and the like. Thou hast long been wandring, and here thou art out of thy proper Place, and I arrest thee. Thou goest: I have it here. Ego te, Be∣stiam infernalem—.

Lucifer.

The Magitian is but one. I may gain thousands by relinquishing him, and plying the credulous world with a belief that I fear such bug bears. O, O.

He shakes.

Rob.

Once I have said, and I say the se∣cond time, Ego te Bestiam infernalem—.

Lucif.

O, no more of that, good Sir: I'le leave the Magitian behind me, and go quietly away, if you please to loose me.

Hyp.

Well done, Reverend Father: your Books are formidable: the Devil fears you, and them.

Arist.

I fear not this Monkish Devil. Sir, what shall I give you for your Fla∣gellum Daemonum? It will be helpfull to me in scourging the Monks: I doubt not but I shall find more Devils amongst them.

Page  65
Lucif.

How say you, good Sir, shall I depart quietly?

Rob.

Quietly, and quickly.

Lucif.

Wife, shall I not kiss before I go?

Hyp.

I abhor thee. I confess I had a child by thee thou cursed Incubus, but I was never married to thee. The name of Husband and Wife with us, were but words, I abbor thee.

Prett.

As my Mistris abhors thee, so do I abhor thee. Whatsoever I confes't to thee, I'le confess again to a lawfull Priest.

Enter Lucifuga, running as a Devil.
Hyp.

And I.

Lucifug.

My Lord, O my Lord Luci∣fen: Order you had, or you could not have conserv'd your Government: now All's out of all Order. The Monks and Jesuites in your long absence have set all Hell on fire: they differ'd at first amongst themselves, and now they have stir'd up, and set all Hell against you. Your very Se∣raglio of Vestals are wrought and brought into the Combustion.

Lucifer.

O, Now am I sick indeed, and beyond Legerdemain. You are the sini∣ster cause of all this, Agrippa.

Rob.

Touch him not. Ego te, Bestiam infernalem—.

Lucifer.

I swell into the Mountain Olympus. O, how I swell! I shall burst asunder: And there's a dreadfull tempest in my stomack. How, and where shall I empty my self? I know not where to be∣stow my troubled stomack, and my sedi∣tious belly. O good Females help me. O some kind body, point me to a secret place. O.

Vaing.

Help the Devil? Not I.

Lucifer.

Your helping hand Lucifuga.

Exeunt Lucifer, and Lucifuga.
From within.

O Juno Lucina fer opem. Noise of straining.

Agr.

Sir: I admonish you in private, to guard your Person: the Monks and Je∣suites cannot observe a distance; they will endanger your life by themselves or their Abettors.

Arist.

I am in your opinion: but if they kill me, they will immortalize the settled opinion the world hath of them; and I shall appear before him who knows that in all the story, I have kept the path of substantial Truth; and alwayes like Timanthes the Painter, cover'd more than I shew'd. I may have misplac'd and mis∣center'd an Action, but in the substance I have been quadrate with Truth. Beyond this, These Renegadoes expose our Nati∣on, being also their own, ridiculous in their Colledg-Comedies beyond the Seas: why should not we then, within our own Sphere and Region, pay them with the Law of Talion, especially after such most abusive, and most injurious Transactions?

Agrip.

I side with you.

Arist.

And now, if Archimedes were alive, be would sooner undertake to num∣ber the sands of the Sea, than to summe up the lies that will Epilogize to the Epi∣logue of this Comedy.

Enter Lucifuga.
Lucifug.

My Lord's well amended. He has both vomited and gone to the stoole. He spew'd a proud Jesuite: and was brought to bed backwards of a drun∣ken Monk. Here he comes in the midst of them.

Enter Lucifer, a little Jesuite with his Arms a kembole, and a little Monk reeling.
Vaing.

The Jesuire is as like him as if he spat him out of his mouth.

Agr.

The Monk is a Reverend Monk of a little one.

Page  66
Arist.

A Sir Reverence Monk, you should have said.

Rob.

I have suffered thee too long. De∣part: Ego te—

Lucifug.

Lord, and Prince: your presence in Hell will soon allay this Insurrection.

Rob.

Be gone. Ego te Bestiam—

Lucifer.

I go.

Jesuites and Monks: within I take an oath,
I'le lay you low, and be reveng'd of both.
Exeunt Lucifer, and Lucifuga, with the two Boyes.
Arist.

Farewell, Agrippa: I'le weave out the little parcel of my life, in the good old Garden-house of Devotion.

Exit Arist.

Hyp.

I and my Maid will setup School again: we shall never want Schollars. But Pretty, we must have a special care to keep the Devil out of our Quarters.

Prett.

Madam, every man that offers himself at the Door, shall there bare his feet: wee'l see if he be cloven-sooted or no.

Exeunt Hyp. and Pretty.

Agrip.

I'le joyn my forces with Fa∣ther Robert, my zealous Defender against the Devil. Sir, I shall buy Books of you.

Rob.

And I shall further instruct you.

Exeunt.
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