A new play call'd The Pragmatical Jesuit new-leven'd a comedy
Carpenter, Richard, d. 1670?

Act. 4. Scene 6.

Enter Aristotle Junior with a long Beard and poor in Apparel.
Arist.

Delicious London, once more I Page  48 salute thee. Thy buildings are now glo∣rionsly beautifull, if my eyes may sen∣tence for thee. Here dwels Simplicity, here Justice is enthron'd. O People of England, learn your own Happinesse, your earthly Happinesse drops and distils from your own hands. Be obedient, and conform to the good and easie Laws here; and you comprize more than the Happi∣nesse of all the other Fortunate Ilands; Arabia the Happy is not so happy, and fragrant as your Countrey. Knew ye the slavish condition of France, the beg∣gery of Spain, the buggery of Italy, Spain, and France, the general wicked∣ness of all the world, ye would quietly sit down, every one at his own Door, and calmly say, Heaven be blessed that I was born in little England. Here all Persons are free, breathe freely, eat comfortably, use freely and fully their own. Where is it so besides here? Now ye are in joynt again, stand Atlas-firm, bear up your little Heaven of quiet here: or as ye are now the most happy, ye will be otherwise the most despicable and most unhappy of all Nations. The natu∣ral desire a man has of self-preservation, like adverse Wind and Tyde, lately cast me back into France, and the English Monks there, the sordid idle Monks, more than impal'd me in the Bastille, be∣cause I threatned to impound them here, as detaining from me a fair Sum of my own Monys most due to me. And to guild, to varnish, to burnish this their unhew'd, ragged, and ragged Action, they plyde my story with lies of Defence, lies of Offence, lies with heads, but not with feet, lies with feet, but not with heads; lies with neither head nor foot; lies whisper'd, and loud lies. Oye Scholars of our most renowned Uni∣versities, set bounds to your feet, and limits to your Thoughts: I was my Fa∣thers eldest Son, and Heir to a comfort∣able Estate of Houses and Lands; and I threw all behinde me, to be cheated, most religiously cheated by secular Priests, Jesuites, Monks, Friers; but amongst all these godly Cheaters, the Monk is the Grandee, the Pontifex maxi∣mus, the first and Universal Bishop. Two years he held me now fast in Prison, in a loathed Prison: and after the Business was made publick here by my private Letters, clear'd me of the Prison, but unwillingly, but conditionally that I should be confin'd there all my life: I consented in the lip: Afterwards plead∣ing that my Body was greatly disorder'd in respect of health, desir'd a few dayes wherein to physick it (I meant with a better Air;) and in that little Tract of Time wherein it was supposed I took Physick, hasted privately to Diep, a Port-Town in France, where I found sixteen English Monks attending the Passage-Boat: they prevented my Passage with them, and posted away Letters to Paris, solliciting that I should be stopt; but the Hugonots of Diep past me over the night following. In all their Houses in those transmarine parts, there are none left but boyes and old Men; hither they are all come. The greatest Crocodile was at first harbour'd in an Egge, which is Paulò majus anserino, a little bigger than a Goose-egg. And yet, the Crocodile is a Devourer of Men: and when, being horrour-struck, these cannot weep for themselves, mockingly weeps over them; grows huge, and on to the last period of life; and is different, not a little from the Goose, in shape, substance, colour, manners; though they favour one ano∣ther in the Egg. No sensual Creature spreads to so vast a bigness, from so small beginnings, as this Egg-Crocodile. In Page  49 two years I had not the benefit of a fresh Shirt. I had preserv'd some rich Goods from the ravenous Officers who took me: And John Baptista Palliot, the President of Noury in France, my fellow-prisoner, who desired and undertook to secure them for me at his own house, secur'd them there indeed, but from me, and for himself, he, being in account a person of Honour, and I indeed a wrongfully and poor imprison'd stranger. Another French Prisoner wearied me oftentimes, with desiring me that he might use my body Sodomitically. The Frenchmen say: Omnis Jesuita aut Magus aut Sodomita, Every Jesuite is a Magitian or a Sodo∣mite: This I know not; the other, ex∣perience brought home to me. Upon composed and most deliberate thoughts, I set up this resolution like a Colossus: I will yield up my life on a Gallows here, before I will set my foot again where proud Rome does Mistris it: because her Vassals are more than heathenishly cruel, more unclean than Turks and Indians. London, I joyfully kiss thy ground, which others kick and tread upon: allow me a Grave here: Thy air seems to me per∣fum'd: and I am now, as it were, born again.

Distressed Body, Rack of the Bastille,
Now ware the Monks and Jesuites that kill.
Exit.