A new play call'd The Pragmatical Jesuit new-leven'd a comedy
Carpenter, Richard, d. 1670?

Act 3. Scen. 4.

Enter Agrippa.
Agrip.

Gentlemen, I have now cited Rome hither, the seven Hils and all: when you have seen our Scholar there; my helm will be needless; he will presently do his own Arrint, and himself return to you. Ob∣serve him with a near eye; because the place is esteem'd as Caput Orbis, the Head of the world.

Exit.

Enter Fa. Tompson, a Jesuit, and Aristotle Junior.
Tom.

Child, forsooth, Approach not too near; that Image works Miracles: It hath cured the lame and the blind, indeed all kinds of Infirmities: and which is most miraculous, it hath spoken like one of us.

Arist.

Father Tompson, This puts my Belief upon the Rack: And I will ingenu∣ously give you my Reason; because the de∣vil spake first in the old heathenish Images, and this is fac't like an apish Imitation of the Devil.

Tom.

Pray forsooth, Child, doubt not: you must believe it.

Arist.

It stands out of the Zodiack of Reason, out of the Horizon of Science.

Tom.

Forsooth, so do all Miracles: If you were not Aristotle Junior, and a Philo∣sophical Pygmie, but the Aristotle and a Giant amongst Philosophers, you must im∣moveably believe what we reach you. This Backwardness attests to a Dyscrasie in your Soul, a Peacokness in your heart; we may not pride it, especially in matters concer∣ning our adhesion to Religion. Aristotles Image in the Vatican, is more obedient than you.

Arist.

But less intelligent. Father Tom∣pson, I put upon me the name of Aristotle Junior, only to plain it, that I was a young Aristotelian in the University of Cambridge, and opposite to the Ramists.

Tom.

I see forsooth, that you have Pa∣roxysmes still with reference to the old He∣retick Page  26 in you; We of the Society, in whom Learning and Industry, as necessary search∣ers into the Languages Oriental and Oc∣cidental, the Heptarchy of Liberal Sciences, Arts, and all the rich Armories, Closets, and Cabinets of Knowledge, are met and married, believe it. And I desire, that your heart be fidus Achates, a faithful Acha∣tes to the Cause you have undertaken.

Arist.

And I desire, that solid Truth re∣main implanted in me. Truly, Father, it was reported in England by our Miracle∣mongers there, that all the Pictures in a Priests Chamber, the night before he was taken, sweat; and it made me sweat ever after when I thought on't.

Tom.

Child forsooth, I fear that you will miscarry hereafter: The Sieve put into the water, is full: Remove the Sieve out of the water, and the water is out of the Sieve. I know not, with what heart you have come amongst us. The Abyssin or Aethiopian goes into the Bath black, and black returns out of it.

Arist.

Father, I did not take up this Re∣ligion, as those who were born of Parents steering this way; and agreeably educated; who therefore suck so strongly, that they draw bloud in place of Milk, and promiscu∣ously swallow all, because their Friends were all of the same Feather. I embraced it upon a pious and vertuous account. I may as well bring the Arctick and the An∣tartick, the two Poles of the world together, as enforce my heart to close with impudent Falshood, with fallacy that is pellucid and transparent. You may drop this, if you please, into your own heart like Arabian Gumme, and let it congeal and stick there, that your Soul may be there entoom'd, as the Fly or Spider in the Gumme or Am∣ber. My heart will not receive it: May that be alwaies deep-inlaid and enamel'd with known truth: I'le tell you, Father; I saw an Image the other day, that was re∣mov'd with a Procession, to a better lodg∣ing, because it wrought infinite Miracles; and the Image was all over most miserably worm-eaten. Me thinks the Power, if it be a good one, that works these wnoders with reflection upon the Image, should also pre∣serve the miraculous Image from Rotten∣ness, and from the Common people of Creepers the worms. I speak the Dictats of an unbyassed heart; pray interpret all according to the Algebra of Candout.

Image.

Chrissime fili mi, Crede.

Tom.

It speaks: A Miracle, a Miracle, in a fit time, in its proper season.

Arist.

Dear Father, what said it?

Tom.

Chrissime fili mi, Crede: my most dear Child, believe: You believe now, I hope. O, I am rapt, I am in a Trance.

He sits down.
Arist.

The good old Father is transport∣ed in earnest, or he deeply dissembles. Whosoever thou art, if thou wilt gain me, speak my Language: He cannot. This I∣mage is back-fastned to the Wall: I have read of private doors in the old Paganish Images.

He knocks at it.
It is hollow. Who's with∣in there? The Tongue within, cannot speak English; and perhaps no more La∣tine. Still I am Pearl-and-Coral seeking in the bottom of the Ser.

Tom.

A Cunning Youth! What a pre∣cious Father of the Society would this man make? I will hereafter deal more candidly with him.

Arist.

O Father, I am abundantly sa∣tisfied.

Tom.

I am abundantly glad of it, my most dear Child; that's your Name now: We consume our selves like Candles, in our giving light unto others.

Page  27Enter a poor man, as possessed.
Arist.

Father, what man is this that so strangely varies and multiplies his faces, and Postures?

Tom.

It is, my most dear Child, a man possess't with a Devil: The virtue of the Image works this extravagant effect upon him. But I shall be plain with you: I have somthing within me; it burns and moves like Thunder in my Breast, and I cannot hold it from you, except I should cry fire. These dirty people that receive Alms un∣der the name of people possessed with De∣vils, are most exact Counterfeits: if they were truly possess't, they would speak all Languages: The Devil is a prime Master of Languages: He is no Alien from any kind of natural Knowledge. The permissi∣on of these, and the like, are piae fraudes, pious and holy Cousenages; Thus Images and Reliques are worshipped with a more large measure both of inward and outward Worship. We have here in the Market, Relique-sellers; and they are continually in fee with such a man as this, who by his Mimical, Antick, and Tragical Gestures, reconciles those vendible Reliques with the Belief of the People, before whom they are exposed to sale. A thing being set like a Pillar, supposed like a Mathematical Principle or Postulate, and granted as un∣deniably true, we may defend and uphold it by all kind of means.

Arist.

But, Father, this is not ut Scho¦lastici loquuntur, as the Schoolmen speak, who alwaies prescribe, that we should pro∣portion the Means to the End, and that Bonum ex integrâ causâ, Good is from an entire Cause, sejoyn'd from all admixtion of evil.

Tom.

My most dear Child: The Books of the ancient Schoolmen are crowded with polygeneous, impertinent and imper∣vious Doctrines of no worth or weight, not one Grain heavy, as being meer ebulliti∣ons of over-wrought, and Feaver-tired Brains: from the which our modern Divi∣nity is separated by an Ecliptick, as being transacted in Regulam Plumbeam or Lesbi∣am, a Leaden Rule; and bow'd appliably to all our purposes: This Rule then ob∣tains, when the Judge bends the Law to the Cause, and not the Cause to the Law: The things we believe and do, are infalli∣bly true and good: and the Law must be bended to them by a pliable Interpreta∣tion.

Arist.

This Divinity is not divine.

He roares.
Tom.

My most dear Child: The posses't man expects an Alms: Give him one.

Arist.

Notwithstanding all his various and indefinite Motions, his right hand bal∣lanc'd with an Almes, finds the way readi∣ly to his Pocket. How comes it that he foames at the mouth so liberally?

Tom.

That Legerdemain is advanc't from the Apothecaries Shop: And use hath apted his Face, Eyes and Mouth to these horrid Representations. He roars only, when the holy thing is near, or set in view; and then he expects to be loaded with Alms.

Exit.

Having all he can expect, he is gone. My most dear Child: You have seen Mrs. Ward and her Jesuitrices, as tender-headed peo∣ple call them.

Arist.

I have Father. We were six Schol∣lars of us; and they set us at a round Ta∣ble, so placed, that we sate a Scholar and a Maid, a Scholar and a Maid: and which way soever we turn'd our faces, to the right, or to the left, we had a pretty Maid, a Quicksilver-tongu'd Girl to face us. They told: us in the Crowd of other things, that they wrought Miracles in Ger∣many,Page  28 a great way off.

Tom.

Maids do you call them? They were English Chambermaids indeed. And the Miracles they wrought in Germany, were, Three or four of them were there got with child, and afterwards, they miracu∣lously became Maids again. But there is a Bull in agitation, to come forth with a roa∣ring and raging noise, in opposition to Mrs. Ward and her licentious Crew, against which there is no Ward nor Guard. My most dear Child, I am forsooth, very desi∣rous, that because you are upon your Missi∣on for England, you should see Father John Barnes, a Learned Englishman, and a Bene∣dictine Monk, sent to Rome, and committed to the Inquisition here, by his own Order and Countreymen. This place belongs to the Inquisition: I will presently speak with the Fathers of the Inquisition, and give you a call from yonder Window.

Exit.

Arist.

The Sun in Egypt after the Inun∣dation of Nile, heating the Mud, quarter∣makes, & half-makes, and when it perfect∣ly makes, makes but imperfect Creatures, as Frogs, Serpents, and such like. I have read in my Name-sake, every man by na∣ture desires to know: This muddy forging of Miracles will never promote a desiring heart to perfect Knowledge. The Natura∣lists have found by curious Inquisition, that if a Pearl which is foul, be swallowed into the womb of a Dove, and remain there some while; the Dove will give it again most pure and orient: Every thing must be tried and examin'd, according to my Les∣son treasur'd up from the School of Devo∣tion, in the womb of devout Simplicity, which womb will free it from spots, clouds, deformity. Yet I find that in all these er∣roneous deviations, there is some colour or semblance of Truth, or somthing like an Asteriske, or finger pointing to past truths. Thus did the Devils Oracles deliver many sound Truths, the better, under such palli∣ations, to disseminate and publish their most unsound Errours: Thus doth a stink offend us more, when concomitant with some weak Perfume which it hath pro vehi∣culo, than if it singly sets upon us; the per∣fume procuring for the stink, easier admit∣tance into our sense: Thus Poysons are most dangerous and irremediable, when joyned in commission with a Cordial that is not able to resist them; it serving to con∣duct them to the heart, and being unable to vanquish their malignity: Thus the old Fowlers deceived Pigeons by shewing an exoculated Pigeon leaping and dancing in a Net.

F. Tompson from above. Exit Arist,
Tom.

St. From the other

He changes Windows.
Window I call'd him: but this is the window from whence we must be Spectators. It is the Ring-dove that builds her Nest early, and unplumes her skin to soften it with her own Feathers, when oftentimes her self dies of cold. I would endanger my life to write this man ours. The turning Pictures shew oftentimes a Lion on the one side, and a Lamb on the other: I have great hopes, that he carries a Lamb inwardly. Love and hatred are like the two ends of a Perspective-Glass, the one multiplies, the other makes less: I would gladly settle him in a Mean betwixt both.

Aristotle Junior, above.

My most dear Child, I have procur'd a Convenience from the good Fathers here: and we shall see more than ordinary.

Page  29 F. John Barnes, chain'd with a Collar of Iron about his Neck.
Barnes.

The better to discern the Ar∣teries and the Vital Spirits in them, Vesali∣us the Anatomist was wont to cut up men alive: in these they observe the beating of the Pulse. My torturers are more cruel: they search me through and through every day, and yet, I live to see my self out-live my self.

Alex.

Father, I hear him, but, I see him not: Darkness interposes it self; the place is as dark as Hell.

Tom.

You shall see him presently.

Barnes.

Some hold that the soul is ex¦traduce; and that one man begets ano∣ther, Body and Soul; and that the Soul is enlightned from the Father, as a Candle from a Candle; otherwise, say they, a man begets but half a man, and stands many stairs lower than a Beast, that begets the whole Beast; and that the three Faculties of the Soul should be infus'd in man, whereof the two inferiour are begot in Beasts, seems not to be a well-cemented Truth.

Alex.

He talkes idly.

Tom.

They have design'd him for mad∣ness; because he was Master of a dange∣rous Head-piece.

Enter one with a Torch, like a Damn∣ed Spirit.
Spirit.

O Barnes, Barnes, The torments that I feel, are most unsufferable: and out∣strip, out-run, out-fly humane Apprehensi∣on. Thou wilt quickly be in the same Cir∣cle of Condition with me.

Barnes.

Who art thou?

Spirit.

A Damned Spirit; who when I was a Passenger in the world, was affected as thou art, and affianced to the Religion of wicked and abominable England. I was commanded to tell thee, that two deaths stand gaping for thee with open jawes in thy way; and it is recorded in the black and fatal Volume of Destiny, that both shall swallow thee: The Funeral fire shall resolve thy Body into ashes; and thy soul widdow'd of understanding, shall everlast∣ingly be bedded with me in Hell. Hogs and Dogs, Cats and Rats are more happy than thou and I. I must not stay longer, for fear of discovery. I go: my Tormentor cals.

Exit Spirit.

Barnes.

All things fall out perpendicu∣larly to my fears. I shall be burnt here at Rome: and I shall be damn'd hereafter in Hell: These two, like malevolous and malignant Planets, are in conjunction: I have oculos pumiceos, eyes of Pumice-stone: I cannot weep. These desperate Tormen∣tors have sunk me into desperation: O!

Exit Barnes.
Arist.

The wise Alchymist, in the whole progress of his Art, extracts things purer and purer from grosser things.

Exeunt.