The double-dealer a comedy, acted at the Theatre Royal by Their Majesties servants / written by Mr. Congreve.

SCENE I.

Enter Mellefont and Cynthia.

Cyn.

I Heard him loud as I came by the Closet-Door, and my Lady with him, but she seem'd to moderate his Passion.

Mell.

Ay, Hell thank her, as gentle breezes moderate a fire; but I shall counter-work her Spells, and ride the Witch in her own Bridle.

Cyn.

It's impossible; she'll cast beyond you still—I'll lay my Life it will never be a Match.

Mell.

What?

Cyn.

Between you and me.

Mell.

Why so?

Cyn.

My Mind gives me it wont—because we are both so willing; we each of us strive to reach the Gole, and hinder one another in the Race; I swear it never do's well when the Parties are so agreed—for when People walk hand in hand, there's neither overtaking nor meeting: We Hunt in Couples where we both pursue the same Game, but forget one another; and 'tis because we are so near that we don't think of coming together.

Mell.

Hum, 'gad I believe there's something in't;—Marriage is the Game that we Hunt, and while we think that we only have it in view, I don't see but we have it in our power.

Cyn.

Within reach; for example, give me your hand; why have you look'd through the wrong end of the Per∣spective all this while; for nothing has been between us but our fears.

Mell.

I don't know why we should not steal out of the House this moment and Marry one another, without Consi∣deration

or the fear of Repentance. Pox o'Fortune, Portion, Settlements and Joyntures.

Cyn.

Ay, ay, what have we to do with 'em; you know we Marry for Love.

Mell.

Love, Love, down right very Villanous Love.

Cynth.

And he that can't live upon Love, deserves to die in a Ditch—Here then, I give you my promise, in spight of Duty, any temptation of Wealth, your inconstan∣cy, or my own inclination to change.—

Mell.

To run most wilfully and unreasonably away with me this moment and be Married.

Cyn.

Hold—Never to Marry any Body elfe.

Mell.

That's but a kind of Negative Consent.—Why, you wont baulk the Frollick?

Cyn.

If you had not been so assured of your own Con∣duct I would not—But 'tis but reasonable that since I consent to like a Man without the vile Consideration os Money, He should give me a very evident demonstration of his Wit: Therefore let me see you undermine my Lady Touchwood, as you boasted, and force her to give her Con∣sent, and then—

Mell.

I'll do't.

Cyn.

And I'll do't.

Mell.

This very next ensuing hour of Eight a Clock, is the last Minute of her Reign, unless the Devil assist her in propria persona.

Cyn.

Well, if the Devil should assist her, and your Plot miscarry.—

Mell.

Ay, what am I to trust to then?

Cyn.

Why if you give me very clear demonstration that it was the Devil, I'll allow for irresistable odds. But if I find it to be only chance, or destiny, or unlucky Stars, or any thing but the very Devil, I'm inexorable: Only still I'll keep my word, and live a Maid for your sake.

Mell.

And you won't die one, for your own, so still there's hope.

Cyn.

Here's my Mother-in-Law, and your Friend Care∣less, I would not have'em see us together yet.

Exeunt.

Enter Careless and Lady Plyant.

Lady Pl.

I swear, Mr. Careless, you are very alluring—And say so many fine things, and nothing is so moving to me as a fine thing. Well, I must do you this justice, and declare in the face of the World, never any body gain'd so far upon me as your self, with Blushes I must own it, you have shaken, as I may say, the very foundation of my Ho∣nour—Well, sure if I escape your Importunities, I shall value my self as long as I live, I swear.

Care.

And Despise me.

Sighing.

Lady Pl.

The last of any Man in the World, by my pu∣rity; now you make me swear—O Gratitude for bid, that I should ever be wanting in a respectful acknowledg∣ment of an intire resignation of all my best Wishes, for the Person and Parts of so accomplish'd a Person, whose Merit challenges much more, I'm sure, than my illiterate Praises can description.

Care.

In a Whining Tone.

Ah Heavens, Madam, you ruine me wirh Kindness; your Charming Tongue pursues the Victory of your Eyes, while at your Feet your poor A∣dorer dies.

Lady Pl.

Ah! Very fine.

Care.

Still Whining.

Ah why are you so Fair, so be∣witching Fair? O let me grow to the ground here, and feast upon that hand; O let me press it to my heart, my aking trembling heart, the nimble movement shall instruct your Pulse, and teach it to allarm Desire.

Zoons I'm almost at the end of my Cant, if she does not yield quickly.

Aside.

Lady Pl.

O that's so passionate and fine, I cannot hear it—I am not safe if I stay, and must leave you.

Care.

And must you leave me! Rather let me Languish out a Wretched Life, and breath my Soul beneath your Feet.

I must say the same thing over again, and can't help it

Aside.

Lady Pl.

I swear I am ready to Languish too—O my Honour! Whither is it going? I protest you have gi∣ven me the Palpitation of the Heart.

Care.

Can you be so cruel.—

Lady Pl.

O rise I beseech you, say no more till you rise—Why did you kneel so long? I swear I was so tran∣ported, I did not see it.—Well, to shew you how far you have gain'd upon me; I assure you if Sir Paul should die, of all Mankind there's none I'd sooner make my second choice.

Care.

O Heaven! I can't out-live this Night without your favour—I feel my Spirits faint, a general damp∣ness over spreads my face, a cold deadly dew already vents through all my Pores, and will to Morrow wash me for e∣ver from your sight, and drown me in my Tomb.

Lady Pl.

O you have Conquered, sweet, melting, mo∣ving Sir, you have Conquered—What heart of Marble can refrain to weep and yield to such sad Sayings.—

Cries

Care.

I thank Heav'n, they are the saddest that I ever said—Oh!

I shall never contain Laughter.

Aside.

Lady Pl.

Oh, I yield my self all up to your uncontroul∣able Embraces—Say, thou dear dying Man, when, where, and how—Ah, there's Sir Paul.

Enter Sir Paul and Cynthia.

Care.

'Slife yonder's Sir Paul, but if he were not come, I'm so transported I cannot speak—This Note will in∣form you.

Gives her a Note.

Exit.

Sir Paul.

Thou art my tender Lambkin, and shalt do what thou wilt—But endeavour to forget this Mellefont.

Cyn.

I would obey you to my power, Sir; but if I have not him, I have sworn never to Marry.

Sir Paul.

Never to Marry! Heaven forbid; must I nei∣ther have Sons nor Grandsons? Must the Family of the Plyants be utterly extinct for want of Issue Male. Oh Im∣piety! But did you swear, did that sweet Creature swear! ha? How durst you swear without my Consent, ha? Gads-bud, who am I?

Cyn.

Pray don't be angry, Sir, when I swore, I had your Consent; and therefore I swore.

Sir Paul.

Why then the revoking my Consent does an∣nul, or make of none effect your Oath: So you may un∣swear it again—The Law will allow it.

Cyn.

Ay, but my Conscience never will.

Sir Paul.

Gads-bud no matter for that, Conscience and Law never go together; you must not expect that.

Lady Pl.

Ay, but Sir Paul, I conceive if she has sworn, d'ye mark me, if she has once sworn: It is most unchristian, inhumane, and obscene that she should break it.—I'll make up this Match again, because Mr. Careless said it would oblige him.

Aside.

Sir P.

Does your Ladiship conceive so—Why I was of that Opinion once too—Nay if your Ladiship conceives so, I'm of that Opinion again; but I can neither find my Lord nor my Lady to know what they intend.

Lady P.

I'm satisfied that my Cousin Mellefont has been much wrong'd.

Cyn.

Aside

I'm amazed to find her of our side, for I'm sure she lov'd him.

Lady Pl.

I know my Lady Touchwood has no kindness for him; and besides, I have been inform'd by Mr. Careless, that Mellefont had never any thing more than a profound respect—That he has own'd himself to be my Admirer 'tis true, but he never was so presumptuous to entertain any dishonourable Notions of things; so that if this be made plain—I don't see how my Daughter can in Con∣science, or Honour, or any thing in the World.—

Sir P.

Indeed if this be made plain, as my Lady your Mother says Child—

Lady P.

Plain! I was inform'd of it by Mr. Careless—And I assure you Mr. Careless is a Person—that has a most extraordinary respect and honour for you, Sir Paul.

Cyn.

Aside.

And for your Ladiship too, I believe, or else you had not chang'd sides so soon; now I begin to find it.

Sir P.

I am much obliged to Mr. Careless really, he is a Person that I have a great value for not only for that, but because he has a great veneration for your Ladiship.

Lady P.

O las, no indeed, Sir Paul, 'tis upon your account.

Sir P.

No I protest and vow, I have no title to his esteem, but in having the honour, to appertain in some measure, to your Ladiship, that's all.

Lady P.

O law now, I swear and declare, it shan't be so, you'r too modest, Sir Paul.

Sir P.

It becomes me, when there is any comparison made, between—

Lady P.

O fy, fy, Sir Paul, you'l put me out of Counte∣nance—Your very obedient and affectionate Wife; that's all—and highly honoured in that Title.

Sir P.

Gads bud, I am transported! give me leave to kiss your Ladiships Hand.

Cyn.

That my poor Father, should be so very silly.

Aside.

Lady P.

My Lip indeed, Sir Paul, I swear you shall.

He kisses her, and bows very low.

Sir P.

I humbly thank your Ladiship—I don't know whether I fly on Ground, or walk in Air—Gads bud, she was never thus before—Well, I must own my self the most beholden to Mr. Careless—As sure as can be this is all his doings—something that he has said; Well, 'tis a rare thing to have an ingenious Friend. Well, your Ladiship is of opinion that the Match may go forward.

Lady P.

By all means—Mr. Careless has satisfied me of the matter.

Sir P.

Well, why then Lamb you may keep your Oath, but have a care of making rash Vows; Come hither to me, kiss and Papa.

Lady P.

I swear and declare, I am such a twitter to read Mr. Careless his Letter, that I can't forbear any longer—but though I may read all Letters first by Prerogative, yet I'll be sure to be unsuspected this time.—Sir Paul.

Sir P.

Did your Ladiship call?

Lady P.

Nay, not to interrupt you my Dear—only lend me your Letter, which you had from your Steward to day: I would look upon the Account again; and may be increase your Allowance.

Sir P.

There it is, Madam; Do you want a Pen and Ink?

Bows and gives the Letter.

Lady Pl.

No, no, nothing else I thank you, Sir Paul,—So now I can read my own Letter under the cover of his.

Asid.

Sir P.

He? And wilt thou bring a Grandson at 9 Months end—He? A brave Chopping Boy.—I'll settle a Thousand pound a Year upon the Rogue as soon as ever he looks me in the Face, I will Gads-bud. I'm overjoy'd to think I have any of my Family that will bring Children in∣to the World. For I would fain have some resemblance of my self in my Posterity, he Thy? Can't you contrive that af∣fair Girl? Do gads-bud, think on thy old Father; Heh? Make the young Rogue as like as you can.

Cyn.

I'm glad to see you so merry, Sir.

Sir P.

Merry, Gads-bud I'm serious, I'll give thee 500 l. for every inch of him that resembles me; ah this Eye, this Left Eye! A 1000 l. for this Left Eye. This has done Ex∣ecution in its time Girl; why thou hast my Leer Hussey, just thy Father's Leer.—Let it be transmitted to the young Rogue by the help of imagination; why, 'tis the mark of our Family Thy; our House is distinguished by a Languishing Eye, as the House of Austria is by a thick Lip.—Ah! when I was of your Age Hussy, I would have held sifty to one, I could have drawn'my own Picture—Gads-bud I could have done—not so much as you neither,—but—Nay, don't Blush—

Cyn.

I don't Blush Sir, for I vow I don't understand.—

Sir P.

Pshaw, Pshaw, you fib you Baggage, you do un∣derstand, and you shall understand, come don't be so nice, Gads-bud don't learn after your Mother-in-Law my Lady here: Marry Heaven forbid that you should follow her Example, that would spoil all indeed. Bless us, if you should take a Vagarie and make a rash Resolution on your Wedding Night, to die a Maid; as she did. All were ru∣in'd, all my hopes lost—My Heart would break, and my Estate would be left to the wide World, he? I hope you are a better Christian than to think of being a Nun; he? Answer me?

Cyn.

I'm all Obedience, Sir, to your Commands.

Lady Pl.

Having read the Letter

O dear Mr. Careless, I swear he writes charmingly, and he talks charmingly, and he looks charmingly, and he has charm'd me, as much as I have charm'd him; and so I'll tell him in the Wardrobe when 'tis Dark. O Crimine! I hope, Sir Paul has not seen both Letters. Sir Paul, here's your Letter, to Mor∣row Morning I'll settle the Accounts to your Advantage.

Puts the wrong Let∣ter▪ hastily up, and gives him her own.

Enter Brisk.

Brisk.

Sir Paul, Gads-bud you're an uncivil Person, let me tell you, and all that; and I did not think it had been in you.

Sir P.

O Law, what's the matter now? I hope you are not angry, Mr. Brisk.

Brisk.

Deuce take me I believe you intend to Marry your Daughter your self; you're always brooding over her like an Old Hen, as if she were not well hatch'd, I'gad, he?

Sir P.

Good strange! Mr. Brisk is such a Merry Facetious Person, he, he, he. No, no, I have done with her. I have done with her now.

Brisk.

The Fiddles have stay'd this hour in the Hall, and my Lord Froth wants a Partner, we can never begin with∣out her.

Sir P.

Go, go Child, go, get you gone and Dance and be Merry, I'll come and look at you by and by.—Where's my Son Mellefont?

Exit Cyn.

Lady P.

I'll send him to them, I know where he is—

Exit.

Brisk.

Sir Paul, will you send Careless into the Hall if you meet him.

Sir P.

I will, I will, I'll go and look for him on purpose.

Exit.

Brisk.

So now they are all gone, and I have an opportunity to practice.—Ah! My dear Lady Froth! She's a most

engaging Creature, if she were not so fond of that damn'd coxcomly Lord of hers; and yet I am forced to allow him Wit too, to keep in with him—No matter, she's a Wo∣man of parts, and I'gad parts will carry her. She said she would follow me into the Gallery—Now to make my Approaches—Hem hem! Ah Ma∣dam!—Pox on't, why should I disparage my parts by thinking what to say? None but dull Rogues think; witty Men like rich Fellows, are always ready for all Expences; while your Blockheads, like poor needy Scoundrels, are forced to examine their Stock, and forecast the Charges of the Day. Here she comes, I'll seem not to see her, and try to win her with a new airy invention of my own, hem!

Bows.

Enter Lady Froth.

Brisk Sings

I'm sick with Love, ha ha ha, prithee come walking about.. Cure me. I'm sick with, &c.

O ye Powers! O my Lady▪ Froth, my Lady Froth! My Lady Froth! Heigho! Break Heart; God's I thank you.

Stands musing with his Arms a-cross.

Lady Fr.

O Heavens Mr. Brisk! What's the matter?

Brisk.

My Lady Froth! Your Ladyships most humble Servant;——The matter Madam? Nothing, Madam, nothing at all I'gad. I was fallen into the most agreeable amusement in the whole Province of Contemplation: That's all—(I'll seem to conceal my Passion, and that will look like Respect.

Asid.

Lady Fr,

Bless me, why did you call out upon me so loud?—

Brisk.

O Lord I Madam! I beseech your Ladiship—when?

Lady Fr.

Just now as I came in, bless me, why don't you know it?

Brisk.

Not I, let me perish—But did I! Strange! I confess your Ladiship was in my Thoughts; and I was in

a sort of Dream that did in a manner represent a very plea∣sing Object to my imagination, but—But did I indeed?—To see how Love and Murder will out. But did I really name my Lady Froth?

Lady F.

Three times aloud, as I love Letters—But did you talk of Love? O Parnassus! Who would have thought Mr. Brisk could have been in Love, ha ha ha. O Heaven's I thought you cou'd have no Mistress but the Nine Muses.

Brisk.

No more I have I'gad, for I adore 'em all in your Ladiship—Let me perish, I don't know whether to be splenatick, or airy upon't; the Deuce take me if I can tell whether I am glad or sorry that your Ladiship has made the Discovery.

Lady Fr.

O be merry by all means—Prince Voscius in Love! Ha ha ha.

Brisk.

O barbarous, to turn me into ridicule! Yet, ha ha ha. The Deuce take me, I can't help laughing my self neither, ha ha ha; yet by Heavens I have ▪violent passion for your Ladiship, seriously.

Lady Fr.

Seriously? Ha ha ha.

Brisk.

Seriously, ha ha ha. Gad I have, for all I Laugh.

Lady Fr.

Ha ha ha! What d'e think I Laugh at? Ha ha ha.

Brisk.

Me I'gad, ha ha.

Lady Fr.

No the Deuce take me if I don't Laugh at my self; for hang me if I have not a violent Passion for Mr. Brisk, ha ha ha.

Brisk.

Seriously?

Lady Fr.

Seriously, ha ha ha.

Brisk.

That's well enough; let me perish, ha ha ha. O Miraculous, what a happy Discovery. Ah my dear charm∣ing Lady Froth!

Lady Fr.

Oh my adored Mr. Brisk!

Embrace.

Enter Lord Froth.

Lord Fr.

The Company are all ready—How now!

Brisk.

Zoons, Madam, there's my Lord.

Softly to her.

Lady Fr.

Take no notice—But observe me—Now cast off, and meet me at the lower end of the Room, and then joyn hands again; I could teach my Lord this Dance purely, but I vow Mr. Brisk, I can't tell how to come so near any other Man. Oh here's my Lord, now you shall see me do it with him.

They pretend to practice part of a Country-Dance.

Ld Fr.

—Oh I see there's no harm yet—But I don't like this familiarity.

Aside.

Lady Fr.

—Shall you and I do our close Dance to show Mr. Brisk?

Ld Fr.

—No, my Dear, do it with him.

Lady Fr.

—I'll do it with him, my Lord, when you are out of the way.

Brisk.

That's good I'gad, that's good, Deuce take me I can hardly hold Laughing in his Face.

Aside.

Ld Fr.

Any other time, my Dear, or we'll Dance it be∣low.

Lady Fr.

With all my heart.

Brisk.

Come my Lord, I'll wait on you—My charming witty Angel!

To her.

Lady Fr.

We shall have whispering time enough, you know, since we are Partners.

Exeunt▪

Enter Lady Plyant, and Careless.

Lady Pl.

O Mr. Careless, Mr. Careless, I'm ruin'd, I'm undone.

Care.

What's the matter, Madam?

Lady Pl.

O the unlucki'st Accident, I'm afraid I shan't live to tell it you.

Care.

Heav'n forbid! What is it?

Lady Pl.

I'm in such a fright; the strangest Quandary and Premunire! I'm all over in a Universal Agitation, I dare swear every Circumstance of me trembles.—O your Letter, your Letter! By an Unfortunate Mistake, I have given Sir Paul your Letter instead of his own.

Care.

That was unlucky.—

Lady Pl.

O yonder he comes reading of it, for Heavens sake step in here and advise me quickly, before he sees.

Exeunt.

Enter Sir Paul with the Letter.

Sir P.

—O Providence, what a Conspiracy have I dis∣cover'd—But let me see to make an end on't.—

Reads

Hum—After Supper in the Wardrobe by the Gal∣lery. If Sir Paul should surprize us, I have a Commission from him to treat with you about the very matter of Fact.—Matter of Fact! Very pretty; it seems then I am conducing to my own Cuckoldom; why this is the very traiterous Po∣sition of taking up Arms by my Authority, against my Person! Well, let me see—Till then I languish in ex∣pectation of my Adored Charmer.

Dying Ned. Careless.

Gads bud, would that were Matter of Fact too. Die and be Damn'd for a Iudas Maccabeus, and Iscariot both. O friendship! What art thou but a Name! Henceforward, let no Man make a Friend that would not be a Cuckold: For whomsoever he receives into his bosom, will find the way to his Bed, and there return his Caresses with interest to his Wife. Have I for this been pinion'd Night after Night for three Years past? Have I been swath'd in Blankets till I have even been depriv'd of motion, and render'd uncapable of using the commo•…•… benefits of Nature? Have I approach'd the Marriage Bed with reverence as to a sacred shrine, and deny'd my self the enjoyment of lawful Domestick Plea∣sures to preserve its Purity, and must I now find it polluted

by▪ Foreign Iniquity? O my Lady Plyant, you were Chaste as Ice, but you are melted now, and false as Water.—But Providence has been constant to me in discovering this Conspiracy; still I am beholden to Providence, if it were not for Providence, sure poor Sir Paul thy Heart would break.

Enter Lady Plyant.

Lady Pl.

So Sir, I see you have read the Letter▪—well now, Sir Paul, what do you think of your Friend Care∣less? Has he been Treacherous, or did you give his insolence a License to make trial of your Wifes suspected Vertue? De è see here? Look, read it? Gad's my Life if I thought it were so, I would this moment renounce all Communication with you. Ungrateful Monster! He? Is it so? Ay, I see it, a Plot upon my Honour; your guilty Cheeks confess it; Oh where shall wrong'd Vertue fly for Reparation! I'll be Divorced this instant.

Snatches the Let∣ter as in anger.

Sir P.

Gads-bud, what shall I say? This is the strangest Surprize! Why I don't know any thing at all, nor I don't know whether there be any thing at all in the World, or no.

Lady P.

I thought I should try you, false Man. I that never dissembled in my Life Yet to make tryal of you, pretended to like that Monster of Iniquity, Careless, and found out that con∣trivance to let you see this Letter; which now I find was of your own inditing—I do Heathen, I do, see my Face no more; there has hardly been Consummation be∣tween us, and I'll be Divorced presently.

Sir P.

O strange, what will become of me!—I'm so amazed, and so overjoy'd, so afraid, and so sorry.—But did you give me this Letter on purpose he? Did you?

Lady Pl.

Did I? Do you doubt me, Turk, Sarazen? I have a Cousin that's a Proctor in the Commons, I'll go to him instantly.—

Sir P.

Hold, stay, I beseech your Ladiship—I'm so overjoy'd, stay I'll confess all.

Lady Pl.

What will you confess, Jew?

Sir P.

Why now as I hope to be saved, I had no hand in this Letter—Nay hear me, I beseech your Ladiship: The Devil take me now if he did not go beyond my Com∣mission—If I desired him to do any more than speak a good word only just for me, Gads-bud only for poor Sir Paul, I'm an Anabaptist, or a Jew, or what you please to call me.

Lady Pl.

Why is not here Matter of Fact?

Sir P.

Ay, but by your own Vertue and Continency that matter of Fact is all his own doing.—I confess I had a great desire to have some Honours Conferr'd upon me, which lie all in your Ladiships Breast, and he being a well spoken Man, I desired him to intercede for me.—

Lady Pl.

Did you so, Presumption! Well, remember for this, your Right Hand shall be swathed down again to Night—and I thought to have always allow'd you that Li∣berty—

Sir P.

Nay but Madam, I shall offend again if you don't allow me that to reach—

Lady Pl.

Drink the less you Sot, and do't before you come to Bed.

Exit.

Enter Careless.

Care.

Sir Paul, I'm glad I've met with you, 'gad I have said all I could, but can't prevail—Then my Friend∣ship to you has carried me a little farther in this matter—

Sir P.

Indeed—Well Sir—I'll dissemble with him a little.

Aside.

Care.

Why faith I have in my time known Honest Gen∣tlemen abused by a pretended Coyness in their Wives, and I had a mind to try my Ladies Vertue—And when I could not prevail for you, 'gad I pretended to be in Love my self—but all in vain, she would not hear a word upon that

Subject: Then I writ a Letter to her; I don't know what effects that will have, but I'll be sure to tell you when I do, tho' by this Light I believe her Virtue is impregna∣ble.

Sir Paul.

O Providence! Providence! What Discoveries are here made? Why, this is better and more Miraculous than the rest.

Care.

What do you mean?

Sir Paul.

I can't tell you I'm so overjoy'd; come along with me to my Lady, I can't contain my self; come my dear Friend.

Exeunt.

Care.

So, so, so, this difficulty's over.

aside.

Enter Mellefont and Maskwell severally.

Mell.

Maskwell! I have been looking for you—'tis with∣in a Quarter of Eight.

Mask.

My Lady is just gone down from my Lords Closet, you had best steal into her Chamber before she comes, and lie conceal'd there; otherwise she may Lock the Door when we are together, and you not easily get in to surprize us.

Mell.

He? you say true.

Mask.

You had best make haste, for she's but gone to make some Apology to the Company for her own, and my Lords absence all this while, and will to her Chamber instantly.

Mell.

I go this moment: Now Fortune I defie thee.

Ex.

Mask.

I confess you may be allow'd to be secure in your own Opinion; the appearance is very fair, but I have an After-Gamé to play that shall turn the Tables, and here comes the Man that I must Manage.

Enter Lord Touchwood.

Ld. T.

Maskwell, you are the Man I wish'd to meet.

Mask.

I am happy to be in the way of your Lordships Commands.

Ld T.

I have always found you prudent and careful in a∣ny thing that has concern'd me or my Family.

Mask.

I were a Villain else—I am bound by Duty and Gratitude, and my own Inclination, to be ever your Lord∣ship's Servant.

Ld. T.

Enough—You are my Friend; I know it: Yet there has been a thing in your Knowledge, which has concern'd me nearly, that you have conceal'd from me.

Mask.

My Lord!

Ld. T.

Nay, I excuse your Friendship to my unnatu∣ral Nephew thus far—but I know you have been Privy to his impious Designs upon my Wife. This Evening she has told me all: Her good Nature conceal'd it as long as was possible; but he perseveres so in Villany, that she has told me even you were weary of disswading him, though you have once actually hindered him from forcing her.

Mask.

I am sorry, my Lord, I can make you no Answer; this is an Occasion in which I would not willingly be so silent.

Ld. T.

I know you would excuse him—and I know as well that you can't.

Mask.

Indeed I was in hopes 'thad been a youthful Heat that might have soon boil'd over; but—

Ld. T.

Say on.

Mask.

I have nothing more to say, my Lord—but to express my Concern; for I think his Frenzy increases daily.

Ld. T.

How! give me but Proof of it, Ocular Proof, that I may justifie my Dealing with him to the World, and share my Fortunes.

Mask.

O my Lord! consider that is hard: besides, time may work upon him: then, for me to do it! I have pro∣fess'd an everlasting Friendship to him.

Ld. T.

He is your Friend, and what am I?

Mask.

I am answered.

Ld. T.

Fear not his Displeasure; I will put you out of his, and Fortune's Power, and for that thou art scrupulously ho∣nest, I will secure thy Fidelity to him, and give my Honour

never to own any Discovery that you shall make me. Can you give me a demonstrative Proof? Speak.

Mask.

I wish I could not—To be plain, my Lord, I intended this Evening to have try'd all Arguments to dis∣swade him from a Design, which I suspect; and if I had not succeeded, to have informed your Lordship of what I knew.

Ld. T.

I thank you. What is the Villains Purpose?

Mask.

He has own'd nothing to me of late, and what I mean now, is only a bare Suspicion of my own. If your Lordship will meet me a quarter of an Hour hence there, in that Lobby by my Lady's Bed-Chamber, I shall be able to tell you more.

Ld. T.

I will.

Mask.

My Duty to your Lordship, makes me do a se∣vere Piece of Justice—

Ld. T.

I will be secret, and reward your Honesty beyond your Hopes.

Exeunt, severally▪

SCENE opening, shews Lady Touchwood's Chamber. Mellefont, Solus.

Melle.

Pray Heaven my Aunt keep touch with her Assig∣nation—Oh that her Lord were but sweating behind this Hanging, with the Expectation of what I shall see—Hist, she comes—Little does she think what a Mine is just ready to spring under her Feet. But to my Post.

goes behind the Hanging.

Enter Lady Touchwood.

Lady T.

'Tis Eight a Clock: Methinks I should have found him here. Who does not prevent the Hour of Love; outstays the Time; for to be dully punctual, is too slow.—I was accusing you of Neglect.

Enter Maskwell.

Mask.

I confess you do Reproach me when I see you here before me; but 'tis fit I should be still behind hand, still to be more and more indebted to your goodness.

Lady T.

You can excuse a fault too well, not to have been too blame—a ready Answer shews you were pre∣par'd.

Mask.

Guilt is ever at a loss and confusion waits upon it, when Innocence and bold Truth are always ready for expression——

Lady T.

Not in Love, Words are the weak support of Cold indifference; Love has no Language to be heard.

Mask.

Excess of Joy had made me stupid! Thus may my Lips be ever clos'd.

Kisses her.

And thus▪—Oh who would not lose his Speech, upon condition to have Joys above it?

Lady T.

Hold, let me Lock the Door first.

Goes to the door.

Mask.

aside.

That I believ'd; 'twas well I left the pri∣vate passage open.

Lady T.

So, that's safe.

Mask.

And so may all your Pleasures be, and secret as this kiss—

Melle.

And may all Treachery be thus discovered.

Leaps out.

Lady T.

Ah!

Shrieks.

Melle.

Villain!

Offers to Draw.

Mask

Nay then, there's but one way.

Runs out.

Melle.

Say you so, were you provided for an Escape? Hold, Madam, you have no more holes to your Burrough, I'll stand between you and this Sally-Port.

Lady T.

Thunder strike thee Dead for this Deceit, imme∣diate Lightning blast thee, me and the whole World—Oh! I could rack my self, play the Vulture to my own Heart, and gnaw it piece-meal, for not boding to me this misfortune.

Melle.

Be Patient.—

Lady. T.

Be Damn'd.

Melle.

Consider I have you on the hook; you will but flounder your self a weary, and be nevertheless my Prisoner.

Lady. T.

I'le hold my breath and die, but I'le be free.

Melle.

O Madam, have a care of dying unprepared, I doubt you have some unrepented Sins that may hang heavy and retard your flight.

Lady T.

O. What shall I do? say? whither shall I turn? has Hell no remedy?

Melle.

None, Hell has served you even as Heaven has done, left you to your self.—You're in a kind of Erasmus Paradice; yet if you please you may make it a Purgato∣ry; and with a little Pennance and my Absolution all this may turn to good account.

Lady T.

Aside▪

Hold in my passion, and fall, fall, a little thou swelling Heart; let me have some intermission of this rage, and one minutes coolness to dissemble.

She Weeps.

Melle.

You have been to blame.—I like those Tears, and hope they are of the purest kind—Penitential Tears.

Lady T.

O the Scene was shifted quick before me—I had not time to think—I was surprised to see a Monster in the Glass, and now I find it is my self; Can you have mercy to forgive the faults I have imagined, but never put in practice—O Consider, Consider, how fatal you have been to me, you have already killed the quiet of this Life, the love of you, was the first wandring fire that e're misled my steps, and while I had only that in view, I ways betray'd into unthought of ways of ruine.

Melle.

May I believe this true?

Lady T.

O be not cruelly incredulous—How can you doubt these streaming Eyes? Keep the severest Eye o're all my future Conduct; and if I once relapse, let me not hope forgiveness, 'twill ever be in your power to ruin me—My Lord shall sign to your desires; I will my self create your Happiness, and Cynthia shall be this night your Bride—Do but conceal my failings, and forgive—

Melle.

Upon such terms I will be ever yours in every ho∣nest way.

Enter Lord Touchwood, Maskwell softly behind him.

Mask.

I have kept my word, he's here, but I must not be seen.

Exit.

Lord T.

Hell and Amazement, she's in Tears.

Lady T.

Kneeling

Eternal Blessings thank you—Ha! my Lord listning! O Fortune has o'repaid me all, all! all's my own!

Aside.

Melle.

Nay, I beseech you rise.

Lady T.

Aloud

Never, never! I'le grow to the Ground, be buried quick beneath it, e're I be consenting to so damn'd a Sin as Incest! unnatural Incest!

Melle.

Ha!

Lady T.

O cruel Man, will you not let me go—I'le for∣give all that's past—O Heaven, you will not ravish me!

Melle.

Damnation!

Lord T.

Monster, Dog! your Life shall answer this—

Draws, and runs at Mell. is held by Lady Touch.

Lady T.

O Heavens my Lord! hold, hold, for Heavens sake.

Melle.

Confusion, my Uncle! O the damn'd Sorceress.

Lady T.

Moderate your rage good my Lord! he's mad, alas he's mad—indeed he's my Lord, and knows not what he does—see how wild he looks.

Melle.

By Heaven'twere senceless not to be mad, and see such Witchcraft.

Lady T.

My Lord, you hear him—he talks Idly.

Lord T.

Hence from my sight, thou living infamy to my Name; when next I see that Face, I'le write Villain in't with my Swords point.

Melle.

Now, by my Soul, I will not go till I have made known my wrongs—Nay, till I have made known yours, which (if possible) are greater—Though she has all the Host of Hell her Servants; Though she can wear more shapes in

shining day, then fear shews Cowards in the dark——

Lady T.

Alas he raves! talks very Poetry! for Heavens sake away my Lord, he'l either tempt you to extravagance, or commit some himself.

Melle.

Death and Funes, will you not hear me—Why by Heaven she laughs, grins, points to your Back, she forks out Cuckoldom with her Fingers, and you're running Horn mad after your Fortune.

As she is going she turns back and smiles at him.

Lord T.

I fear he's mad indeed-Let's send Maskwell to him-

Melle.

Send him, to her.

Lady T.

Come, come, good my Lord, my Heart akes so, I shall faint if I stay.

Exeunt.

Mell.

O I could curse my Stars, Fate, and Chance; all Causes▪ and Accidents of Fortune in this Life! but to what purpose? yet, 'sdeath, for a Man to have the fruit of all his Industry grown full and ripe, ready to drop into his mouth, and just when he holds out his hand to gather it, to have a sudden Whirlwind come, tear up Tree and all, and bear away the very root and foundation of his hopes; What temper can contain? They talk of sending Miskwell to me; I never had more need of him—But what can he do? Imagination can∣not form a fairer and more plausible design than this of his which has miscarried.—O my Pretious Aunt, I shall never thrive without I deal with the Devil, or another Woman.

Women like flames have a destroying pow'r, Ne'er to be quench'd, till they themselves devour.

SCENE shuts.

Exit.