The history of the valorous and vvitty-knight-errant, Don-Quixote, of the Mancha tr. out of the Spanish.

CHAP. LI.

Of Sancho's proceeding in his Government, with other successes as good as touch.

THe day appeared after the Governours Rounding night, in which the Carver slept not a whit, being busied in thinking upon the face, feature and beauty of the disguised Damzell: and the Ste∣ward spent the remainder of it in writing to his Lords Sancho Panca's words and actions, both which hee equally admired; for both were mixt with certain appearances of Discreet and Fool.

The Governour in fine was gotten up, and by Doctor Pedro Rezio's appointment, hee broke his fast with a little Conserve, and some two or three spoonfulls of cold water, which Sancho would willingly have changed for a piece of bread and a bunch of grapes; but seeing there was no remedy, hee passed it over, though with much grief of minde and wearinesse of Stomack; for Pedro Rezio made him beleeve, that few dishes, and those delicate, did quicken the wit, which was the only thing for persons that bore Rule, and weighty Offices; where they must benefit themselves, not only with corporall force, but strength of understanding too.

With this Sophistry Sancho was almost starved, so that in secret he cursed the Go∣vernment, and also him that gave it him; but yet, with his hunger and his Conserve hee sate in Judgement that day, and the first thing that came before him, was a doubt that a stranger proposed unto him, the Steward and the rest of the fraternity being present, and it was this.

Sir, a main River divided two parts of one Lordship (I pray mark, for it is a case of great importance, and somewhat difficult:) I say then that upon this River there was a Bridge, and at the end of it a Gallowes, and a kind of Judgement Hall, in which there were ordinarily four Judges, that Judged according to the Law that the owner of the River, Bridge, and Lordship had established, which was this: If any one bee to passe from one side of this Bridge to the other, hee must first swear whether hee goes, and what his businesse is: If hee swear true, let him passe; if hee lye let him bee hanged upon the Gallowes that shews there without remission. This Law being divulged, and the rigorous condition of it, many passed by, and presently by their oaths, it was seen whether they said true, and the Judges let them passe freely. It fell out that they took one mans oath, who swore and said, that hee went to bee hanged upon that Gallows, and for nothing else.

The Judges were at a stand, and said, If wee let this man passe, hee lyed in his oath, and according to the Law hee ought to die; and if wee hang him, hee swore hee went to die upon the Gallows, and having sworn truly, by the same Law hee ought to be free. It is now, Sir Governour, demanded of you, what should bee done with this man, for the Judges are doubtfull and in suspence; and having had notice of your quick and elevated understanding, they sent me to you, to desire you on their behalfs to give your opinion in this intricate and doubtfull case.

To which (quoth Sancho) Truly these Judges that send you to me might have saved a labour; for I am one that have as much wit as a Setting-dogg: but howsoever repeat me you the businesse once again, that I may understand it, and perhaps I may hit the mark.

The Demandant repeated again, and again, what hee had said before: And Sancho said, In my opinion it is instantly resolved, as thus:

The man swears that hee goes to die upon the Gallows; and if hee dye so, hee swore true; and so by the Law deserves to passe free: and yet if hee be not hanged, he swore false, and by the same Law hee ought to be hanged. 'Tis just as Master Governour hath

said (quoth the Messenger;) and concerning the understanding of the Case, there is no more to bee required or doubted. I say then (quoth Sancho) that they let that part of the man passe that spoke truth, and that which told a lye, let them hang it, and so the con∣dition of the Law shall bee litterally accomplished.

Why Sir (said the Demandant) then the man must bee divided into two parts, lying and true; and if hee bee divided hee must needs dye, and so there is nothing of the Law fulfilled, and it is expresly needfull, that the Law bee kept.

Come hither honest fellow (quoth Sancho) either I am a very Leek, or this Passenger you speak of hath the same reason to dye, as to live and passe the Bridge; for if the truth save him, the lye condemns him equally: which being so as it is, I am of opinion that you tell the Judges that sent you to me, That since the reasons to save or con∣demne him bee in one rank that they let him passe freely; for it is ever more praise∣worthy to doe good, then to doe ill; and this would I give under my hand if I could write: and in this Case I have not spoken from my self; but I remember one precept amongst many others, that my Master Don-Quixote gave me the night before I came to be Governour, which was; That when Justice might bee any thing doubtfull, I should leave, and apply my self to pitty; and it hath pleased God I should remember it in this Case, which hath falne out pat.

'Tis right (quoth the Steward;) and sure Licurgus Law-giver to the Lacedemonians, could not have given a better sentence then that which the Grand Sancho Panca hath given. And now this mornings audience may end, and I will give order that the Go∣vernour may dine plentifully. That I desire (quoth Sancho) and let's have fair play: Let me dine, and then let Cases and doubts rain upon me, and Ile snuff them apace.

The Steward was as good as his word, holding it to bee a matter of conscience to starve so discreet a Governour: Besides, his purpose was to make an end with him that night, performing the last jest, which hee had in Commission towards him. It hapned then, that having eaten contrary to the prescriptions and orders of the Do∣ctor Tirte fuera, when the cloth was taken away, there came in a Poste with a Letter of Don-Quixotes to the Governour. Sancho commanded the Secretary to read it to himself, and that if there came no secret in it, hee should read it aloud. The Secre∣tary did so, and sodainly running it over, said, It may well bee read out, for this that Don-Quixote writes to you, deserves to bee stamped and written in golden Letters, and thus it is.

Don-Quixotes Letter to Sancho Pança, Governour of the Island Barataria.

WHen I thought (friend Sancho) to have heard news of thy negligence and folly, I heard it of thy discretion, for which I gave to God particular thanks. I hear thou Go∣vernest as if thou wert a man, and that thou art a man as if thou wert a beast, such is thy humility thou usest; yet let me note unto thee, That it is very necessary and convenient many times, for the Authority of a place to goe against the humility of the heart; for the adornment of the person that is in eminent Offices, must be according to their greatnesse, and not according to the measure of the meek condition to which hee is in∣clined. Goe well clad; for a stake well dressed, seems not to bee so: I say not to thee that thou weare toyes, or gawdy gay things; not that

being a Iudge thou goe like a Souldier, but that thou adorn thy self with such a habit as thy place requires; so that it bee handsome and neat.

To get the good will of those thou Governest, amongst others, thou must doe two things; the one, to bee courteous to all, which I have al∣ready told thee of; and the other, to see that there bee plenty of suste∣nance; for there is nothing that doth more weary the hearts of the poor then hunger and dearth.

Make not many Statute Laws, and those thou doest make, see they bee good, but chiefly that they be observed and kept; for Statutes not kept, are the same as if they were not made; and doth rather shew that the Prince had Wisedome and Authority to make them, then valour to see that they should bee kept: And Laws that only threaten, and are not execu∣ted, become like the beam, King of Frogs, that at first scarred them, but in time they despised, and gat up on the top of it.

Bee a Father of Virtue, but a Father-in-law of Vice.

Bee not alwaies cruell, nor alwaies mercifull, choose a mean betwixt. these two extreams, for this is a point of discretion.

Visit the Prisons, the Shambles, and the Markets, for in such places the Governours presence is of much importance.

Comfort the Prisoners that hope to be quickly dispatcht.

Be a Bull-begger to the Butchers, and a scar-Crow to the Huckster∣women for the same reason.

Shew not thy selfe (though perhaps thou art, which yet I beleeve not) Covetous, or a Whore-monger, or a Glutton; for when the Town, and those that converse with thee, know which way thou art inclined, there they will set upon thee, till they cast thee down head-long.

View and re-view, passe and re-passe thine eyes over the Instructions I gave thee in writing, before thou wentest from hence to thy Govern∣ment, and thou shalt see how thou findest in them, if thou observe them, an allowance to help thee to bear and passe over the troubles that are in∣cident to Governours,

Write to my Lords, and shew thy self thankfull; for Ingratitude is the Daughter of Pride, and one of the greatest sins that is: and hee that is thankfull to those that have done him good, gives a testimony that he will be so to God too, that hath done him so much good, and dayly doth continue it

My Lady Duchesse dispatcht a Messenger a purpose with thy apparel; and another present to thy Wife Teresa Pança; every minute we ex∣pect an answer.

I have been somewhat ill at ease of late with a certain Cat businesse that hapned to me not very good for my nose, but 'twas nothing; for if there be Enchanters that misuse me, others there be that defend me. Let me know if the Steward that is with thee had any hand in Trifaldi's actions, as thou suspectedst: and let me hear likewise of all that befalls thee, since the way is so short; besides, I think to leave this idle life e're long, for I was not born to it.

Here is a business at present, that I beleeve will bring me in disgrace with these Nobles: but though it much concern me I care not; for indeed I had rather comply with my Profession, then with their wills, according to the saying; Amicus Plato, sed magis amica veritas. I write thee this Latine, because I think, since thy being Governour thou hast learnt to un∣derstand it. And so farewell, God keep thee, and send that no man pittie thee.

Thy Friend, Don-Quixote de la Mancha.

Sancho heard the letter very attentively, and those that heard it, applauded it for a very discreet one: and presently Sancho rose from the Table, and calling the Secretary lockt him to him in his lodging Chamber, and without more delay meant to an∣swer his Master Don-Quixote: and therefore hee bade the Secretarle without adding or diminishing ought to write what he would have him; which hee did: and the Let∣ter in answer was of this ensuing tenour.

Sancho Pança's Letter to Don-Quixote de la Mancha.

My businesse and imployments are so great, that I have not leisure either to scratch my head, or pare my nails, which is the reason they are so long (God help me.)

This I say (dear Signior mine) that you may not wonder, if hitherto I have not given you notice of my well or ill being at this Governmeut; in which I am now more hungry, then when you and I travelled in the Woods and Wil∣derness.

My Lord the Duke wrote me the other day, by way of advice, that there were certain Spies entred the Island, to kill me: but hitherto I have disco∣vered none but a certain Doctor, who is entertained in this Town, to kill as many Governours as come to it: and his name is Doctor Pedro Rezio born in Tirte a fuera: that you may see what a name this is for me to fear lest hee kill me.

This aforesaid Doctor sayes of himself, that hee cures not infirmities when they are in present being, but prevents them before they come: and the Medicines he useth, are dyet upon dyet, till he makes a man no∣thing but bare bones; as if leannesse were not a greater sicknesse then a Calenture.

Finally, he hath even starved me, and I am ready to dye for anger: for when I thought to have comne to this Island to eate good warm things and to drink cool, and to recreate my body in Holland sheets and Feather-Beds; I am forced to doe penance as if I were an Hermite: and because I doe it unwillingly, I beleeve at the upshot the Devill will have me.

Hitherto have I neither had my due, nor taken bribe, and I know not the reason: for here they tell me that the Governours that use to come to this Island, before they come, they of the Town either give or lend them a good sum of money: and this is the ordinary custome, not only in this Town but in many others also.

Last night as I walked the Round, I met with a fair maid in mans apparell, and a Brother of hers in womans: my Carver fell in love with the Wench, and purposed to take her to Wife, as hee sayes; and I have chosen the youth for my sonne in law; and to day both of us will put our desires in practice with the Father of them both, which is one Diego de la Liana, a Gentleman and an old Christian, as much as you would desire. I visit the Market places (as you advised me) and yester∣day found a Huckster that sold new Hazel-nuts, and it was proved against her, that shee had mingled the new with a bushell of old, that were rotten and without kernels; I judged them all to bee given to the Hospitall Boyes that could very well distinguish them; and gave sen∣tence on her, That shee should not come into the Market-place in fifteen dayes after: 'twas told me, that I did most valorously: All I can tell you is, that it is the common report in this Town, That there is no worse People in the world then these women of the Market-places; for all of them are impudent, shamelesse, and ungodly; and I beleeve it to bee so by those that I have seen in other Towns. That my Lady the Du∣chesse hath written to my Wife Teresa Pança, and sent her a Token, as you say, it pleaseth me very well, and I will endeavour at fit time to shew my self thankfull: I pray doe you kisse her hands on my behalf, and tell her, her kindenesse is not ill bestowed, as shall after appear.

I would not that you should have any thwart-reckonings of distaste with those Lords; for if you be displeased with them, 'tis plain it must needs redound to my dammage; and 'twere unfit that, since you advise me not to be unthankfull, you should be so to them that have shewed you so much kindenesse, and by whom you have been so well welcommed in their Castle.

That of your Cat businesse I understand not; but I suppose 'tis some of those ill feats that the wicked Enchanters are wont to use toward you; I shall know of you when we meet. I would fain have sent you something from hence, but I know not what, except it were some little Canes to make Squirts, which with Bladders too they make very curiously in this place: but if my Office last, Ile get something worth the sending.

If my Wife Teresa Pança write to me, pay the Portage, and send me the Letter: for I have a wonderfull desire to know of the Estate of my House, my Wife and Children: and so God keep you from ill-minded Enchanters, and deliver me well and peaceably from this Government; for I doubt it, and think to lay my bones here, according as the Doctor Pedro Rezio handles me.

Your Worships Servant, Sancho Panca the Governour.

The Secretarie made up the Letter, and presently dispatcht the Post; and so Sancho's Tormentors joyning together, gave order how they might dispatch him from the Go∣vernment. And that afternoon Sancho passed in setting down orders for the well Go∣verning the Island he imagined to be so: And he ordained there should be no Huck∣sters for the Common-wealths Provisions; And likewise, That they might have Wines brought in from whencesoever they would; only with this Proviso, To tell the place from whence they came, to put prices to them according to their value and goodnesse: And whosoever put Water to any Wine, or chang'd the name of it, should die for it: he moderated the prices of all kinde of cloathing, especially of Shooes, as thinking Leather was sold with much exorbitancie.

He made a Taxation for Servants Wages, who went on unbridled for their profit.

He set grievous penalties upon such as should sing bawdie or ribaldry Songs, either by night or day.

He ordained likewise, That no blinde-man should sing miracles in Verse, except they brought authenticall testimonies of the truth of them: for he thought that the most they sung, were false and prejudiciall to the true.

He created also a Constable for the poor, not that should persecute, but examine them to know if they were so: for under colour of fained maimnesse, and false sores, the Hands are Theeves, and Health is a Drunkard.

In conclusion, he ordered things so well, that to this day they are fam'd, and kept in that place, and are called, The Ordinances of the Grand Governour Sancho Pança.