The history of the valorous and vvitty-knight-errant, Don-Quixote, of the Mancha tr. out of the Spanish.

CHAP. XLVIII.

What hapned to Don-Quixote with Donna Rodriguez, the Duchesses Waiting-woman; with other successes, whorthy to bee written, and had in eternall remembrance.

THe ill-wounded Don-Quixote was exceeding musty and melan∣choly, with his face bound up, and scarred, not by the hand of God, but by the nayles of a Cat (misfortunes annexed to Knight Errantry) sixe dayes past ere hee came abroad: in one of which, in a night, when hee was awake and watching, thinking upon his mishaps, and his being persecuted by Altisidora, hee perceived that some body opened his Chamber door with a Key; and straight hee imagined that the inamored Damzell came to set upon his honestie, and to put him to the hazzard of forgoing his loyalty due to his Mistris Dulcinea del Toboso. No said hee, beleeving in his imagination, and this so lowd that hee might easily bee heard, no beauty in the world shall make mee leave her that is graved and stamped in the midst of my heart, and in my innermost entrailes: bee thou, Mistris mine, either transformed into an Onion-like husband-woman, or into a Nimph of the Golden Tagus, weaving webs made of silke and gold twist: bee thou in Merlins power, or in Montesino's, where ere they will have thee: for wheresoever thou art, thou art mine; and wheresoever I am, I will bee thine. His speech ended, and the door opened both together.

Up hee stood upon the bed, wrapped from head to foot in a quilt of yellow Sattin, a woollen cap upon his head, his face and Mustachos bound up: his face for his scrat∣ches; his Mustachoes, because they should not dismay or fall down: in which posture, hee lookt like the strangest aparition, that can bee imagined.

Hee nayled his very eyes upon the door: and whereas hee thought to have seen the vanquished and pittifull Altisidora enter, hee saw that it was a most reverend Matron, with a long white gathered Stole, so long that it did cover and bemantle her from head to foot: betwixt her left hand fingers shee had halfe a Candle lighted, and with her right hand shee shaddowed her selfe, to keep the light from her eyes, which where hid with a great payre of spectacles: shee came treading softly, and moving her feet gently.

Don-Quixote from his Watch-towre beheld her: and when hee saw her furniture, and noted her silence, hee thought it had beene some Hagge or Magician, which came in that shape to doe him some shrewd turne; and hee beganne apace to blesse him∣selfe.

The Vision came somewhat neeeer: but being in the midst of the Chamber, shee lifted up her eyes, and saw with what haste Don-Quixote was crossing himselfe; as if hee were afraid to see such a shape; shee was no lesse affrighted with his: for seeing him so lanke, and yellow in the quilt, and with the bends that dis-figured him, shee cryed out, saying, Jesus, What's this? and with the sodaine fright, the Candle dropt out of her hand, and being in the darke, shee turned her back to bee gone; but for feare stumbled upon her Coats, and had a sound fall.

Don-Quixote timorous, began to say, I conjure thee, Apparition! Or whatso'ere thou art, to tell me who thou art, and what thou wilt have with mee: If thou bee'st a soule in Purgatory, tell mee, and I will doe what I am able for thee: for I am a Ca∣tholike Christian, and love to doe good to all the world: for, for this cause I tooke upon mee the order of Knight Errant, which I professe (whose practice extends even to doe good to the soules in Purgatorie.) The broken Matron that heard her selfe thus conjured, by her feare ghessed at Don-Quixote, and with a low and pittifull voice shee answered him, Signior Don-Quixote, (if you bee hee I meane) I am no Apparition, nor Vision, nor soule of Purgatory, as you have thought: but Donna Rodriguez, my Lady the Duchesses honour'd Matron, that come to you with a case of necessity of those that you usually give redresse to.

Tell me, Donna Rodriguez (quoth Don-Quixote) come you happily about some peece of brokage? For let mee tell you, if you doe, there's no good to bee done with mee for any body, thanks to the peerelesse Beauty of my Mistris Dulcinea del Toboso: So that let me tell you, Donna Rodriguez, setting aside all amorous messages, you may goe light your candle again, and return and impart what you will command me, and any thing you please, excepting, I say, all kinde of inciting nicities. I Sir, messages from any body? You know not me yfaith: I am not so stale yet, that I should fall to those triflles, for, God be praised, I have life and flesh, and all my teeth and my grinders in my mouth, except some few that the Catarrs, which are so common in this Country of Aragon, have usurped on: but stay a little Sir, Ile goe out and light my Candle and, Ile come in an instant, and relate my griefs to you, as to the Redressor of all such like in the world: And so without staying for an answer, shee left the rooms, where Don-Quixote remained still and pensative expecting her: but straight a thousand imagina∣tions came into his minde, touching this new Adventure, and hee thought it would bee very ill done, or worse imagined, to endanger the breach of his vowed loyalty to his Mistris, and said to himself; Who knows whether the Devill, that is so subtil and crafty, may deceive mee now with this Matron, which hee hath not been able to doe with Empresses, Queens, Duchesses, Marquesses? and I have heard say often, by many well experienced men, that hee will rather make a man sinne with a foul then a fair one: and who knows whether this privacie, this oportunitie & silence may not awake my de∣sires now sleeping? and that now in my old age I may fall, where I never stumbled in such like chances? 'tis better fly then try the combat: but sure I am out of my wits, since I talk thus idlely; and sure it is not possible that a white-stoled lank-spectacled Matron should moove or stirre up a lascivious thought in the ungodliest brest in the world: Is there any Matron in the world that hath soft flesh? Is there any that is not foolish, nice, and coy? Avaunt then, you Matronly troops, un∣profitable for mans delight.

How well did that Lady, of whom it was observed, that shee had two Matrons Statue-wayes of wood, with their Spectacles and Pin-pillows at the end of her Seat of State, as if they had been at work? and those Statues served as well to authorize her room, as if they had been reall Matrons. And this said, hee flung from the Bed to have shut the door, and not have let Mistris Rodriguez come in: but as hee was going to doe it, shee was come back with her candle lighted of white wax: and when shee saw Don Quixote neer her, wrapped in his Quilt, his Bends, his wollen Cap, and a thick cloth about his neck, shee began to fear again: and stepping two or three steps back∣ward, shee asked, Am I safe, Sir Knight? for I hold it not a very honest signe, that you are up from your Bed. 'Twere fit I asked that question of you (quoth Don-Quixote;) and therefore let me know, whether I shall be free from ravishing. By whom (quoth she?) By you (said Don-Quixote;) for neither am I of marble, or you of brasse; neither is it now ten a clock at day time, but mid-night and something more, as I think: and wee are in a more secret and close couch then the Cave, in which the bold trayterous Aeneas enjoyed the fair and pitying Dido: but give me your hand Mistris, and Ile have no other assurance then mine own continencie and warinesse: And in saying this, hee kissed her right hand; and shee layd hold of his, which shee gave him with the same solemnitie.

Here Cid Hamete makes a parenthesis, and earnestly protesteth he would have given the best coat he had, to have seen them both go so joyned and linked from the Chamber dore to the bed.

In fine, Don-Quixote went to his Bed, and Donna Rodriguez sate downe in a Chayre a pretty way from it, without taking off her spectacles, or setting downe the Candle.

Don-Quixote crowded up together, and covered himselfe all over, leaving no∣thing but his face uncovered: So both of them beeing quiet; the first that broke off their silence was Don-Quixote, saying. Now, Mistrisse Rodriguez, you may un∣rip your selfe, and dis-mawe all that you have in your troubled Heart, and grie∣ved Entrailes, which shall bee heard by my chaste Eares, and relieved with my pious Workes.

I beleeve no lesse said the Matron: for from your gentle and pleasing presence, there could not be but a Christian answere expected.

Thus then it is, Signior Don-Quixote, that though you see mee set in this Chaire, and in the midst of the Kingdome of Aragon, in the habit of a poore and way-beaten Matron; I was borne in the Asturias [A barcen Mountainous countrey in Spaine, like our Wales] and Kingdome of Oniedo, and of a linage allied to the best of that Province: but my hard fortune, and my fathers lavishing, that grew to bee a Begger before his time (God knowes how) brought mee to the Court at Madrid, where very quietly, and to avoid other inconveniencies, my friends placed mee to serve as a Chamber-maid to a worthy Ladie; and though I say it, that for white-worke, hemming and stitching, I was never yet put downe in all my life. My friends left mee at service, and returned homeward, and not long after went (in likelyhood) to heaven, for they were wonderfull good Catholike Christians; thus was I an Orphan, and stinted to the mise∣rable wages and hard allowance that at Court is given to such kinde of servants: and at that time (I not giving any occasion thereto) a Squire of the house fell in love with mee, somewhat an elderly man, big-bearded and personable, and above all, as good a Gentleman as the King, for hee was of the Mountaines; wee kept not our loves so close but that they came to my Ladies eares; who without any more adoe, with full con∣of our Holy Mother the Catholique Romane Church, caused us to bee married, by sent which Matrimonie to end my good fortune, if I had any; I had a Daughter, if I had any, I say it was ended, not that I dyed of Childe-bed, for I mis-carried not; but that my Husband not long after dyed of a fright hee had, and had I now time to tell you of it, 'twould admire you: And with this shee beganne to weepe most tenderly, and said; Pardon mee, Signior Don-Quixote, for I cannot doe withall; as often as I remember my unfortunate Husband, the Teares trickle downe mine eyes. Lord God! and how stately hee would carry my Lady behinde him, upon a lusty black Mule, as black as Jeat: For then they used no Coaches nor hand-Chayres, as now (they say they doe) and then Gentlewomen rode behinde their Squires: And I cannot but tell you this Tale, that you may see the punctualnesse and good manners of my Husband.

As hee was going in at Saint Iaques his streete in Madrid, which was somewhat narrow, a Judge of the Court, with two Sargeants before him, was comming out; and as soon as my honest Squire saw him, hee turned his Mules reins, making shew as if hee would wait upon him: My Lady that rode behinde, asked him softly, What doest thou knave? Do'st not see that I am here? The Judge very mannerly laid hold on his rein, and said, Keep your way Sir: for it were fitter for me to wait upon my Lady Casilda; (for that was my Ladies name.) Yet still my Husband was earnest with his Cap in his hand, and would have waited on the Judge: which when my Lady saw, full of wrath and anger, shee pulled out a great Pin; or rather, as I beleeve, a little Bodkin out of her Estoises, and thrust him into the rump; insomuch that my Hus∣band cryed out, and wrigling his body, my Ladie and hee came to the ground to∣gether.

Two of her Lackies came to raise her; and the Judge and the Sergeants likewise:

the Gate of Guadalaxara was in an uproar, I mean the idle people up and down there.

My Lady was faine to walk on foot, and my Husband got him to a Barbers house, saying, that hee was runne quite thorow and thorow. This mannerlynesse of my Hus∣bands was bruted up and down; insomuch, that the very Boyes in the streets mocked him: so that for this, and because too hee was somewhat pore-blinde, my Lady the Duchesse turned him away; for grief of which, I verily beleeve hee dyed, and I remain∣ed Widow, and succourlesse, with a childe to boot, that went on increasing in beauty like the foam of the Sea.

Finally, for as much as I had the report of an excellent Seamstresse, my Ladie the Duchesse that was newly Married to my Lord the Duke, would needs bring me with her here to this Kingdome of Aragon, together with my Daughter; where in processe of time shee grew up, and with her all the prettinesse that could bee: shee sings like a Larke; shee danceth in company as quick as thought; and alone like a cast-a-way; shee writes and reads like a School-master; and casts Account like a Usurer: for her cleanlinesse I say nothing; the water that runns is not cleaner: and shee is now (if I forget not) about sixteen yeers old, five moneths, and three dayes, one or two more or lesse. In fine, a rich Farmers Sonne fell in love with my Daughter, one that liveth in one of my Lord the Dukes Villages, not farre from hence: In effect, I know not how, but they met, and under colour of Marriage hee mocked my Daughter, and will not keep his promise, and though the Duke know it: for I have complained to him often of it, and beseeched him, to command the young Farmer to Marry my Daughter: but hee hath a Trades-mans eares, and will not heare me: the reason is, because the cooz∣ning knaves father is rich, and lends him money, and lets him have credit every foot to goe on with his jugling, and will by no means discontent or trouble him.

I beseech you Sir therefore, to take upon you the redressing of this wrong, either by intreaties, or by force; since, as all the world sayes, you were borne to right wrongs, and protect the needie: Consider that my Daughter is an Orphan; consider her gen∣tlenesse, her youth, and all the good parts that I have told you of; for in my soul and conscience, amongst all the Damzells that my Lord hath, there is none worthy to untye her shooe: and one of them they call Altisidora, which is the lustiest and gallantest, in comparison of my Daughter is no body: For let me tell you Sir, all is not gold that glisters; for this Altisidora is more bold then beauteous; more gamesome then re∣tired: besides, shee is not very sound; for shee hath a certain breath that anoyes, and you cannot indure her to stand by you a moment: and my Ladie the Duchesse too: but Mum; they say walls have eares.

What ayles my Ladie Duchesse, by your life, Mistris Rodriguez (quoth Don-Quixote?) By that (said shee) I cannot but answer you with all truth.

Doe you mark Sir (quoth shee) that beauty of my Ladies, that smoothnesse of her face, that is like a polisht sword, those two cheeks of Milk and Vermilion, in one of which shee hath the Sunne, in the other the Moon, and that state with which shee goes, trampling and despising the ground, as if shee went dealing of health up and down? Know Sir, that first shee may thank God for it, and next, two issues that shee hath in both her legs, at which all the ill humour is let out, of which Physicians say shee is full.

Saint Mary (quoth Don-Quixote) and is it possible that my Lady the Duchesse hath such out-lets? I should not have beleeved it if bare-foot Fryers had told me so: but since Donna Rodriguez tells me, it is so: but from such issues, and such places, no ill humour, but liquid Amber is•• distilled: I now verily beleeve that this making of issues is a thing very necessarie for the health.

Scarce had Don-Quixote ended this speech, when at one pluck the Chamber door was opened; and with the sodain fright Donna Rodriguez Candle fell out of her hand, and the room was as dark as Pitch; straight the Matron felt that they layd hands upon her throat so hard, that they gave her no time to yawle: and one of them very quickly lifting up her coats, with a slipper (in likelihood) began to give her so many jerks, that

'twas pittie: and though Don-Quixote had some compassion on her, yet hee stirred not from his bed, and knew not what might bee the matter: quiet was hee, and silent, fearing lest the whipping task and tawing might light upon him, and his fear was not needlesse: for when the silent executioners had left the Matron well curried (who durst not c••y out) they came to Don-Quixote, and unwrapping him from the Sheet and the Quilt, they pinched him so hard and so often, that he could but goe to buffets to defend himself: and all this passed in admirable silence; the combat lasted some half an hour; the apparitions vanished; Donna Rodrignez tucked up her Coats, and bewailing her mishap, got her out of the door, not speaking a word to Don-Quixote; who heavy and all to bee pinched, sad and pensative, remained alone; where wee will leave him desirous to know who was the perverse Enchanter that had so drest him: But that shall be told in due time; for Sancho Panca calls us, and the Decorum of this Historie.