The history of the valorous and vvitty-knight-errant, Don-Quixote, of the Mancha tr. out of the Spanish.

CHAP. XLIII.

Of the second advice that Don-Quixote gave Sancho Pança.

WHo could have heard this discourse, and not held Don-Quixote for a most wise Personage, and most honest? But as it hath been often told in the progresse of this large History, hee was only besotted, when hee touched upon his Chivalry, and in the rest of his talk he shewed a cleer and current apprehension: so that every foot his works bewrayed his judgement, and his judgement his works: But in these second documents hee g••ve now to Sancho, hee shew'd a great deal of lenity, and ballanced his judgement and his madnesse in an equall scale. Sancho hearkened most attentively unto him, and strove to bear in minde his instructi∣ons, as thinking to observe them, and by them to bee very well delivered of his big∣swoln Government. Don-Quixote proceeded, saying:

Touching the governing thine owne Person and Houshold Sancho, the first thing I enjoyn thee to, is, to bee cleanly, and to paire thy Nailes, not letting them grow as some doe, whose ignorance hath made them think 'tis a fine thing to have long Nails, as if that excrement and superfluity that they let grow, weare only their Nailes, rather the claws of a Lizard-bearing Castrell, and a foule abuse it is.

Goe not ungirt or loose, for a slovenly Garment is the signe of a carelesse minde, if so bee this kinde of slovenly loosenesse bee not to some cunning end, as it was judged to bee in Iulius Caesar.

Consider with discreetion what thy Government may bee worth, and if it will afford thee to bestow Liveries on thy Servants, give them decent and profitable ones, rather then gawdie or sightly, and so give thy cloth amongst thy Servants and the poor; I mean, that if thou have six Pages, give three of them Liveries, and three to the poor; so shalt thou have Pages in earth, and in Heaven: and your vain-glorious have not at∣tained to this kinde of giving liveries.

Eat not Garlick or Onions, that thy Pesantry may not be known by thy breath: walk softly, and speak stayedly; but not so as if it appeared thou hearkenedst to thy self, for all kinde of affectation is naught.

Eat little at dinner, but lesse at supper; for the health of the whole body is forged in the forge of the stomack.

Be temperate in drinking; considering that too much Wine neither keeps secreet nor fulfills promise.

Take heed Sancho of chewing on both sides, or to ruct before any body.

I understand not your ructing (quoth Sancho.) To ruct (quoth hee) is as much as to belch; and this is one of the fowlest words our language hath, though it be very sig∣nificant; so your more neat people have goten the Latine word, and call belching ructing, and belchers ructers: and though some perhaps understand not this; 'tis no great matter, for use and custome will introduce them that they may easily bee understood, and the power that the vulgar and custome hath, is the enriching of a language.

Truly, (said Sancho) one of your advices that I mean to remember, shall bee not to belch, for I am used to doe it often. Ruct Sancho, not belch (quoth Don-Quixote.) Ruct I will say (quoth hee) hence forward, and not forget it.

Likewise Sancho, you must not intermixe your discourse with that multiplicity of Proverbs you use; for though Proverbs bee witty short sentences, yet thou bringest them in so by head and shoulders, that they are rather absurdities then sentences. This (quoth Sancho) God Almighty can only help; for I have more Proverbs then a Book will hold, and when I speak, they come ••o thick to my mouth, that they fall ou••, and strive one with another, who shall come out first: but my tongue casts out the first it

meets withall, though they bee nothing to the purpose, but I will have a care hereafter to speak none but shall bee fitting to the gravity of my place; for where there is plenty, the Guests are not empty; and hee that works, doth not care for play; and hee is in safety that stands under the Bels; And h••s judgements rare, that can spend and spare.

Now, now (quoth Don-Quixote) glue, thred, fasten thy Proverbs together, no body comes; the more ••thou art told a thing, the more thou dost it: I bid thee leave thy Proverbs, and in an instant thou hast cast out a Letany of them, that are as much to the purpose, as, To morrow I found a horse-shooe. Look thee Sancho, I finde not fault with a Proverb brought in to some purpose; but to load and heap on Proverbs hudling together, makes a discourse wearisome and base.

When thou ge••st on horse-back, doe not goe casting thy body all upon the crupper, nor carry thy leggs stiff down, and stradling from the horses belly, nor yet so loosly, as if thou wert still riding on thy Dapple, for your horse-riding makes some appear Gen∣tlemen, others Grooms.

Let thy sleep bee moderate; for hee that riseth not with the Sun, loseth the day: And observe Sancho, That diligence is the Mother of good Fortune; and sloth the con∣trarie, that never could satisfie a good desire.

This last advice that I mean to give thee, though it bee not to the adorning of thy body, yet I would have thee bear it in thy memory; for I beleeve it will bee of no lesse use to thee, then those that I have hitherto given thee, and it is,

That thou never dispute of Linages, comparing them together, since of necessity a∣mongst those that are compared, one must bee the better; and of him thou debasest, thou shalt bee abhorred; and of him thou ennoblest, not a whit rewarded.

Let thy apparrell bee a painted Hose, and Stocking, a long-skirted Jacket, and a Cloke of the longest; but long Hose by no means, for they become neither Gentlemen nor Governours.

This is all Sancho, I will advise thee to for the present; as the time and occasion•• serve hereafter, so shall my instructions bee, so that thou bee carefull to let me know how thou dost.

Sir (quoth Sancho) I see well that you have told me nothing but what is good, holy, and profitable: but to what purpose, if I remember nothing? True it is, that of not letting my nails grow, and to marry again if need bee, I shall not forget; but your other slabb••r-sawces, your tricks and quillets, I cannot remember them, nor shall not, no more then last yeers clouds: therefore I pray let me have them in writing; for though I can neither write nor read, Ile give them to my Confessor, that hee may frame them into me, and make me capable of them at time of need.

Wreth that I am (quoth Don-Quixote) how ill it appears in a Governour, not to write or read! for know Sancho, that for a man not to read, or to bee left-handed, argues that either hee was a sonne of mean Parents, or so unhappie and untowardly that no good would prevaile on him.

I can set to my name (quoth Sancho) for when I was Constable of our Town, I learnt to make certain Letters, such as are set to mark trusses of stuff, which they said spelt my name: Besides, now Ile feign that my right hand is maimed, and so another shall firm for me; for there's a remedy for every thing but death: and since I beare sway, I'le doe what I list: for according to the Proverb, He that hath the Judge to his Father, &c. [a troop of absurd speeches still to Sancho's part:] and I am a Governour, which is more then Judge. I, I, let um come and play at bo••-peep, let um back-bite me, let um come for wooll, and I'le send them back shorne; whom God loves, his house is savory to him; and every man bears with the rich mans follies; so I being rich, and a Governour, and liberall too, as I mean to bee, I will bee without all faults. No, no, pray bee dainty, and see what will become on't; have much, and thou shalt bee esteemed much, quoth a Grandame of mine; And might overcomes right.

Oh, a plague on thee Sancho (quoth Don-Quixote) threescore thousand Sata••s take thee and thy Proverbs; this houre thou hast been stringing them one upon another, and giving me tormenting potions with each of them: I assure thee that one of these

dayes these Proverbs will carry thee to the Gallows; for them thy Vassalls will bereave thee of thy Government, or there will bee a community amongst them. Tell me igno∣rant, where doest thou finde them all? Or how doest thou apply them, Ninny-ham∣mer? for, for me to speake one and appply it well, it makes me sweat and labour as if I had digged.

Assuredly, Master mine, quoth Sancho, a small matter makes you angry: why the Devill doe you pine that I make use of my owne goods? for I have no other, nor any other stocke but Proverbs upon Proverbs: and now I have foure that fall out jump to the purpose, like Peares for a working Basket: but I will say nothing, for now Sancho shall bee called, Silence. Rather babling, quoth Don-Quixote, or obstinacy it selfe; yet I would faine know what four Proverbs they bee that came into thy minde, so to the purpose; for I can think upon none, yet I have a good memory.

What better (said Sancho) then meddle not with a hollow tooth: And, Go from my house, What will you have with my wife? Theres no answering, and, If the pot fall upon the stone, or the stone on the pot, ill for the pot, ill for the stone; all which are much to the purpose. That no body meddle with their Governour, nor with their Superiour, lest they have the worst, as hee that puts his hand to his teeth (so they bee not hollow, 'tis no matter if they bee teeth) Whatsoever the Governour saies, there is no replying, as in saying. Get you from my house, and, What will you have of my wife? and that of the pot and the stone, a blinde man may perceive it: so that hee that sees the moate in another mans eye, let him see the beame in his owne, that it may not bee said by him, The dead was afraid of her that was flayd. And you know, Sir, that the foole knowes more in his owne house, then the wise man doth in a∣nothers.

Not so, Sancho, (quoth Don-Quixote:) for the foole, neyther in his owne house nor anothers, knowes ought, by reason that no wise edifice is seated upon the in∣crease of his folly: and let us leave this, Sancho for if thou governe ill, thou must bear the fault, and mine must bee the shame; but it comforts mee that I have done my duty in advising thee truly, and as discreetly as I could, and with this I have accomplisht with my obligation, and God speed thee Sancho, and governe thee in thy Govern∣ment, and bring mee out of the scruple I am in, that thou wilt turne thy Government with the heeles upwards, which I might prevent, by letting the Duke know thee better, and telling him that all that fatnesse, and little corps of thine, is nothing but a sack of Proverbs and knavery.

Sir (quoth Sancho) if you thinke I am not fit for this Government, from hence∣forward I lose it: I had rather have a poore little scrap of the naile of my soule, then my whole body: and I can as well keepe my selfe with, pliane Sancho, a Loafe and an Onyon, as a Governour with Capons and Patridges: and whilst wee are asleepe, all are alike: great and small, poore and rich: and if you consider on't, you shall finde, that you onely put mee into this veine of governing: for I know no more what be∣longs to governing of Islands then a Vulture, and rather, then in being a Governour, the Divell shall fetch my soule; I had rather bee Sancho, and goe to heaven, then a Go∣vernour and go to hell. Truely, Sancho, quoth Don-Quixote, for these last words thou hast spoken, I deeme thee worthy to govern a thousand Islands: thou hast a good naturall capacitie, without which no science is worth ought; serve God, and erre not in thy maine intentions, I meane thou alwayes have a firme purpose and intent, to bee sure in all businesses that shall occurre, because Heaven alwayes favours good desires, and let's goe dine: for I beleeve now the Lords expect us.