The history of the valorous and vvitty-knight-errant, Don-Quixote, of the Mancha tr. out of the Spanish.

CHAP. XXXVIII.

The Afflicted Matron recounts her ill-Errantry.

A After the Musick there entred in at the Garden, about some twelve Matron-wayters, divided into two ranks, all clad in large Monks weeds, to see to, of fulled Serge, with white Stoles of thin Callico, so long that they only shewed the edge of their black weeds. After them came the Countesse Trifaldi, whom Trifaldin with the white beard led by the hand, clad all in finest unnapped Bayes; for had it been napped, every grain of it would have been as big as your biggest pease: Her taile or her train (call it whether you will) had three corners, which was borne by three Pages, clad likewise in mourning: Thus making a sightly and Mathematicall shew with those three sharp corners, which the poynted skirt made, for which belike shee was called the Countesse Trifaldi [the word in Spanish importing so] as if wee should say the Countesse of the three trains; and Benengeli sayes it was true, and that her right name was the Countesse Lobuna, because there were many Wolves bred in her Country; and if they had been Foxes, as they were Wolves, they would have called her the Countesse Zorruna, [Zorra in Spanish, a Fox] by reason that in those parts it was the custome that great ones took their appellations from the thing or things that did most abound in their States: but this Countesse taken

with the strangenesse of the three-fold train, left her name of Lobuna, and took that of Trifaldi.

The twelve Wayters and their Lady came a procession pace, their faces covered with black vailes, and not transparent, was as Trifaldins, but ••o close that nothing was seen thorow. Just as the Matronly Squadron came in; the Duke, the Duchesse, and Don-Quixote stood up, and all that beheld the large Procession. The twelve made a stand and a Lane, thorow the middest of which the afflicted came forward, Trifaldin still leading her by the hand, which the Duke, the Duchesse, and Don-Quixote seeing, they advanced some dozen paces to meet her. Shee kneeling on the ground, with a voyce rather course and hoarce, then fine and cleer, said, May it please your Greatnesses to spare this courtesie to your servant; I say, to mee your servant; for as I am The Affli∣cted, I shall not answer you as I ought, by reason that my strange and unheard of mis∣fortune hath transported my understanding I know not wither, and sure 'tis farre off, since the more I seek it, the lesse I finde it. Hee should want it Lady (quoth the Duke) that by your person could not judge of your worth, the which without any more look∣ing into, deserves the Cream of Courtesie, and the flower of all mannerly Ceremonies: So taking her up by the hand, hee led her to sit down in a chair by the Duchesse, who welcommed her also with much courtesie.

Don-Quixote was silent, and Sancho longed to see the Trifaldi's face, and some of her waiting-women: but there was no possibilitie, till they of their own accords would shew them; so all being quiet and still, they expected who should first breake silence, which was done by the afflicted Matron, with these words. Confident I am (most powerfull Sir, most beautifull Lady, and most discreete Auditors) that my most mi∣serablenesse [A fustian Speech on purpose and so continued.] shall finde in your most valorous Brests shelter, no lesse pleasing then generous and compassionate; for it is such as is able to make marble relent, to soften the Diamonds, and to mollifie the steele of the hardest hearts in the world; but before it come into the market-place of your hearing (I will not say your eares) I should be glad to know, if the most Purifiediferous Don-Quixote of the Manchissima, and his Squiriferous Panca, be in this Lap, this Quire, this Company.

Panca is here (quoth Sancho) before any body else could answere, and Don-Qui∣xotissimo too, therefore most Afflictedissimous Matronissima, speake what you willissi∣mus [Sancho strives to answere in the same key] for we are all ready and most forward to be your Servitorissimus. Then Don-Quixote rose up, and directed his speech to the Afflicted Matron and said; If your troubles, straightned Lady, may promise you any hope of remedy, by the valour and force of any Knight Errant; Behold, here are my poor and weake armes, that shall bee imployed in your service. I am Don-Quixote de la Mancha, whose Function is to succour the needy, which being so (as it is) you need not, Lady, to use any Rhetorick, or to seek any Preambles; but plainly and without circumstances, tell your griefs; for they shall bee heard by those, that if they cannot re∣dresse them, yet they will commiserate them.

Which when the afflicted Matron heard, shee seem'd to fall at Don-Quixotes feet, and cast her self down, striving to embrace them, and said; Before these feet and leggs I cast my self, oh invincible Knight; since they are the Basis and Columnes of Knight Errantry, these feet will I kisse, on whose steps the whole remedy of my misfortunes doth hang and depend. Oh valorous Errant! whose valorous exploits doe obscure and darken the fabulous ones of the Amadises, Esplandiasus, and Belianises: And leaving Don-Quixote, shee laid hold on Sancho Panca, and griping his hands, said; Oh thou the loyallest Squire that ever served Knight Errant, in past of present times! lon∣ger in goodnesse then my Usher Trifaldins beard; well mayest thou vaunt, that in ser∣ving Don-Quixote, thou servest, in Cipher, the whole Troop of Knights that have worn Armes in the world: I conjure thee, by thy most loyall goodnesse, that thou be a good Intercessor with thy Master, that hee may eftsoons favour this most humble most un∣fortunate Countesse.

To which (said Sancho) that my goodnesse, Lady, bee as long as your Squires beard,

I doe not much stand upon; the businesse is, Bearded or with Mustacho's, let me have my soul goe to Heaven when I die: for, for beards here I care little or nothing: but without these clawings or intreaties, I will desire my Master (for I know hee loves me well, and the rather, because now in a certain businesse hee hath need of me) that hee favour and help your Worship as much as hee may: but pray uncage your griefs, and tell them us, and let us alone to understand them.

The Dukes were ready to burst with laughter, as they that had taken the pulse of this Adventure, and commended within themselves the wit and dissimulation of the Trifaldi, who sitting her down, said; Of the famous Kingdome of Taprobana, which is between the great Taprobana and the South sea, some two leagues beyond Cape Co∣morin, was Queen the Lady Donna Maguncia, widdow to King Archipielo, her Lord and Husband, in which matrimony they had the Princesse Antonomasia, Heire to the Kingdome: The said Princesse was brought up, and increased under my Tutorage and instruction, because I was the ancientest and chiefest Matron that waited on her Mo∣ther. It fell out then, that times comming and going, the Childe Antonomasia being about fourteen yeers of age, shee was so fair that Nature could give no further addition. Discretion it self was a Snotty-nose to her, that was as discreet as fair, and shee was the fairest in the world, and is, if envious Fates and inflexible Destinies have not cut the threed of her life: but sure they have not; for Heaven will not permit, that Earth suffer such a losse, as would bee the lopping of a branch of the fairest Vine in the world.

On this beauty (never-sufficiently extolled by my rude tongue) a number of Princes were enamoured, as well Neighbours as strangers, amongst whom, a private Gentle∣man durst raise his thoughts to the Heaven of that beauty, one that lived in Court, confident in his youth and gallantry, and other abilities, and happy facilities of wit; for let mee give your Greatnesses to understand (if it bee not tedious) hee played on a Gitterne, as if hee made it speake, hee was a Poet, and a great Dancer, and could very well make Bird-cages, and onely with this Art, might have gotten his living, when he had been in great necessity: so that all these parts and adornments were able to throw downe a mountaine, much more a delicate Damzell: but all his gentry, all his graces, all his behaviour and abilities, could have little prevailed, to render my childes fortresse, if the cursed theefe had not conquered mee first. First, the cursed Rascall Vagamund sought to get my good will, and to bribe mee, that I, ill keeper, should deliver him the keyes of my fortresse.

To conclude, hee inveigled my understanding, and obtained my consent, with some toyes and trifles (I know not what) that hee gave mee: but that which most did prostrate mee, and made mee fall, was certaine verses, that I heard him sing one night from a grated Window, toward a Lane where hee lay, which were as I remember these.

An ill upon my soule doth steale, From my sweetest enemy: And it more tormenteth mee That I feele, yet must conceale.

The Ditty was most precious to mee, and his voyce as sweet as sugar, and many a time since have I thought, seeing the mis-hap I fell into, by these and such other like verses, and have considered, that Poets should bee banisht from all good and well-governed Common-wealths, as Plato counselled, at least lascivious Poets; for they write lascivious verses, not such as those of the Marquesse of Mantua, [Old Ballad verses, the Author speakes here Satyrically,] that delight and make women and children weepe, but piercing ones, that like sharpe thornes, but soft, traverse the soule, and wound it like lightning, leaving the garment sound; and againe he sung.

Come death, hidden, without paine, (Let me not thy comming know)

That the pleasure to die so, Make me not to live againe.

Other kindes of songs hee had, which being sung, enchanted, and written, suspend∣ed: for when they daigned to make a kinde of verse in Candaya, then in use, called Roundelaies, there was your dancing of soules, and tickling with laughter and unquiet∣nesse of the body: and finally, the quicksilver of all the sences. So, my Masters, let mee say, that such Rithmers ought justly to bee banished to the Island of Lizards: but the fault is none of theirs, but of simple creatures that commend them, and foolish wen∣ches that beleeve in them: and if I had been as good a Waiting-woman, as I ought to have beene, his over-nights conceits would not have moved mee, neither should I have given credit to these kinde of speeches: I live dying, I burne in the frost, I shake in the fire, I hope hopelesse, I goe, and yet I stay: with other impossibilities of this seumme, of which his writings are full: and then, your promising the Phoenix of Arabia, Ariadne's, Crowne, the Lockes of the Sunne, the Pearles of the South, the Gold of Tyber, and Balsamum of Pancaia: and here they are most liberall in promising that, which they never think to performe.

But whither, aye mee unhappy, doe I divert my selfe? What folly or what mad∣nesse makes mee recount other folkes faults, having so much to say of mine owne? Aye mee againe, unfortunate, For not the verses, but my folly, vanquished mee; not his musicke, but my lightnesse, my ignorance softned mee; that, and my ill fore sight ope∣ned the way, and made plaine the path to Don Clanixo, for this is the aforesaid Gen∣tle-mans name; so that I being the Bawde, hee was many times in the chamber of the (not by him, but mee) betrayed Antonomasia, under colour of being her lawfull Spouse; for though a sinner I am, I would not have confented, that without being her Husband, hee should have come to the bottome of her shoo-sole.

No, no, Matrimony must ever bee the colour in all these businesses, that shall bee treated of by mee: onely there was one mischiefe in it, that Don Clanixo was not her Equall, hee being but a private Gentle-man, and shee such an Inheritrix. A while this juggling was hid and concealed, with the sagacity of my warinesse, till a kinde of swelling in Antonomasia's belly, at last discovered it, the feare of which made us all three enter into counsell, and it was agreed, that before the mis-hap should come to light, Don Clanixo should demand Antonomasia for wife before the Vicar, by vertue of a bill of her hand, which shee had given him to bee so: this was framed by my inventi∣on so forcibly, that Samson himselfe was not able to break it.

The matter was put in practice, the Vicar saw the bill, and tooke the Ladies con∣fession: who confessed plainely, hee committed her prisoner to a Sargeants house. Then (quoth Sancho) have you Sargeants too in Candaya, Poets, and Roundelayes? I sweare I thinke, the world is the same every-where: but make an end, Madam Tri∣faldi: for it is late, and I long to know the end of this large story. I will, answered the Countesse.