The history of the valorous and vvitty-knight-errant, Don-Quixote, of the Mancha tr. out of the Spanish.

CHAP. XXXVI.

Of the strange and unimagined Adventure of the afflicted Matron, alias, the Countesse Trifaldi, with a Letter that Sancho Pança wrote to his Wife Teresa Pança.

THe Duke had a Steward of a very pleasant & conceited wit, who played Merlins part, and contrived the whole Furniture for the passed Adventure; hee it was that made the Verses, and that a Page should act Dulcinea. Finally, by his Lords leave; hee plotted another peece of work, the pleasantest and strangest that may bee imagined.

The Duchesse asked Sancho the next day, if hee had yet begun his Task of the Penance, for the disinchanting of Dulcinea: hee told her yes; and that as that night hee had given himself five lashes. The Duchesse asked him, with what? Hee answered with his hand. Those (quoth the Duchesse) are rather claps then lashes: I am of opinion, that the sage Merlin will not accept of this soft∣nesse; 'twere fitter that Sancho took the discipline of Rowels or Bullets with Prickles that may smart; for the businesse will bee effected with blood; and the liberty of so great a Lady will not bee wrought so slightly, or with so small a price: and know Sancho, that works of charity are not to bee done so slow and 〈◊〉〈◊〉, for they will merit nothing.

To which Sancho replyed, Give me Madam, a convenient lash of some bough, and I will lash my self that it may not smart too much; for let me tell your Worship this, That though I am a Clown, yet my flesh is rather Cotten then Mattresse; and there's no reason I should kill my self for anothers good. You say well (quoth the Duchesse) to morrow I'le give you a whip that shall fit you, and agree with the tendernesse of your flesh, as if it were a kinn to them. To which (quoth Sancho) Lady of my soul, I beseech you know, that I have written a Letter to my Wife Teresa Panca, letting her know all that hath hapned to (me, since I parted from her; here I have it in my bosome, and it wants nothing but the superscripti∣on: I would your discretion would read it; for me thinks it goes fit for a Governour, I mean, in the stile that Governours should write. And who penned it, said the Duchesse? Who should, said hee, Sinner that I am; but I my self? And did you write it (quoth shee?) Nothing lesse (said hee;) for I can neither write nor read, though I can set to my firm. Let's see your Letter (quoth the Duchesse) for I warrant thou shewest the ability and sufficiency of thy wit in it. Sancho drew the Let∣ter open out of his bosome; and the Duchesse taking it of him, read the Contents, as followeth.

Sancho Panca's Letter to his VVife Teresa Panca.

IF I were well lashed, I got well by it: If I got a Government, it cost me many a good lash. This, my Teresa, at present thou under∣standest

not, hereafter thou shalt know it. Know now Teresa, that I am determined thou goe in thy Coach; for all other kinde of going, is to goe upon all foure. Thou art now a Governours Wife; let's see if any body will gnaw thy stumps. I have sent thee a green Hunters suite, that my Lady the Duchesse gave me; fit it so, that it may serve our Daughter for a Coat and Bodies. My Master Don-Quixote, as I have heard say in this Country, is a Mad Wise-man, and a conceited Coxcombe; and that I am ne're a whit behind him. We have been in Montesinos Cave: & the sage Merlin hath laid hands on me for the dis-enchanting my La∣dy Dulcinea del Toboso, whom you there call Aldonsa Lorenzo, with three thousand and three hundred lashes lacking five, that I give my self, shee shall bee dis-enchanted as the Mother that brought her forth: but let no body know this; for put it thou to discant on, some will cry white, others black. Within this little while I will goe to my Govern∣ment, whither I goe with a great desire to make money; for I have beene tolde, that all your Governours at first goe with the same desire. I will look into it, and send thee word whether it bee fit for thee to come to me or no. Dapple is well, and commends him heartily to thee; and I will not leave him, although I were to goe to bee Great Turk. My Lady the Duchesse kisses thy hands a thousand times: Return her two thousand; for ther's nothing costs lesse, nor is better cheap, as my Master tells me, then complement. God Almighty hath not yet been pleased to blesse me with a Cloke-bag, and another hundred Pistolets, as those you wot of: But bee not grieved, my Teresa, there's no hurt done; all shall bee re∣compenced when wee lay the Government a bucking: only one thing troubles mee; for they tell me, that after my time is expired, I may dye for hunger; which if it should bee true, I have paid deer for it, though your lame and maimed men get their living by Begging and Almes: so that one way or other thou shalt bee rich and happy: God make thee so, and keep me to serve thee. From this Castle the twentieth of July, 1614.

The Governour thy Husband, Sancho Pança.

When the Duchesse had made an end of reading the Letter, shee said to Sancho; in two things the good Governor is out of the way: the one in saying or publishing, that this Government hath beene give him for the lashes he must give himselfe, hee know∣ing, for hee cannot deny it, that when my Lord the Duke promised it him, there was no dreaming in the world of lashes: The other is, that he shewes himselfe in it very

covetous, and I would not have it so prejudiciall to him; for Covetousness is the Root of all evill, and the covetous Governor does ungoverned Justice. I had no such mea∣ning, Madam (quoth Sancho) and if your worship thinke the Letter bee not written as it should bee, let it be torne and weele have a new; and perhaps it may bee worse, if it be left to my noddle. No, no, (quoth the Duchesse) 'tis well enough, and Ile have the Duke see it. So they went to a Garden where they were to dine that day; the Du∣chesse shewed Sanchoes Letter to the Duke, which gave him great content. They dined and when the cloth was taken away, and that they had entertained themse••ves a pretty while with Sanchoes savory conversation; upon a sodaine they heard a dolefull sound of a Flute, and of a hoarce and untuned Drum; all of them were in some amazement at this confused, martiall, and sad harmony, especially Don-Quixote, who was so trou∣bled he could not sit still in his seat; for Sancho there is no more to be said, but that feare carried him to his accustomed refuge, which was the Duchesses side or her lap; for in good earnest, the sound they heard was most sad and melancholy. And all of them being in this maze, they might see two men come in before them into the Garden, clad in mourning weedes, so long that they dragged on the ground, these came beating of two Drums, covered likewise with black, with them came the Fife, black and besmeared as well as the rest. After these there followed a personage of a Gyantly body, bemant∣led, and not clad in a cole-black Cassock, whose skyrt was extraordinary long, his Cas∣sock likewise was gyrt with a broad black Belt, at which there hung an unmeasurable Scimitar, with hilts and scabard; upon his face he wore a transparent black Vaile, tho∣row which they might see a huge long beard, as white as snow His pace was very grave and stayed, according to the sound of the Drum and Fife. To conclude, his hugeness, his motion, his blackness, and his consorts, might have held all that knew him not, and loo∣ked on him, in suspence.

Thus hee came with the state and Prosopopeia aforesaid, and kneeled before the Duke, who with the rest that stood up there, awaited his comming: but the Duke would not by any meanes heare him speake till hee rose, which the prodigious Scar-crow did; and standing up, hee pluckt his maske from off his face, and shewed the most hor∣rid, long, white, and thicke beard, that ere till then humane eyes beheld; and straight hee let loose and roared out from his broad and spreading brest, a majesticall loud voyce, and casting his eyes toward the Duke, thus said:

High and mighty Sir, I am called Trifaldin with the white beard, Squire to the Countesse Trifaldi, otherwise called The Afflicted Ma••ron, from whom I bring an Ambassage to your Greatnesse, which is, that your Magnificence bee pleased to give her leave, and licence to enter and relate her griefes, which are the most strange and admirable that ever troubled thoughts in the world could thinke: but first of all, she would know whether the valorous and invincible Knight Don-Quixote de la Man∣cha bee in your Castle, in whose search shee comes afoot, and hungry from the King∣dome of Candaya, even to this your Dukedome: a thing miraculous, or by way of Enchantment: she is at your Fortresse gate, and onely expects your permission to come in; thus hee spoke, and forthwith coughed and wiped his Beard from the top to the bottome, with both his hands, and with a long pawse attended the Dukes An∣swere, which was;

Honest Squire Trifaldin with the white Beard, long, since the misfortune of the Countesse Trifaldi hath come to our notice, whom Enchanters have caused to be stiled. The afflicted Matron: tell her, stupendious Squire, shee may come in, and that here is the valiant Knight Don-Quixote de la Mancha, from whose generous condition shee may safely promise her selfe all aid and assistance: and you may also tell her from mee, that if shee neede my favour, shee shall not want it; since I am oblieged to it by being a Knight, to whom the favouring of all sorts of her sexe is pertained and annexed, espe∣cially Matron widowes ruin'd and afflicted, as her Ladyship is. Which when Trifaldin heard, he bent his knee to the ground, and making signes to the Drum and Flfe, that they should play to the same pace and sound as when they entred, he returned back out of the Garden, and left all in admiration of his presence and posture.

And the Duke turning to Don-Quixote, said; In fine Sir Knight, neither the clouds of malice or ignorance can darken or obscure the light of valour and virtue. This I say, because it is scarce six dayes since that your bounty [A forced word put in, in mockage purposely] hath been in this my Castle, when the sad and afflicted come from remote parts on foot, and not in Carroches and on Dromedaries, to seek you, confident that in this most strenuous arme they shall finde the remedy for their griefs and labours, thanks bee to your brave exploits, that runne over and compasse the whole world.

Now would I, my Lord (quoth Don-Quixote) that that same blessed Clergy-man were present, who the other day at Table, seemed to bee so distasted, and to bear such a grudge against Knights Errant, that hee might see with his eyes, whether those Knights are necessary to the world; hee might feel too with his hands that your extraordinary afflicted and comfortlesse and great affairs, and enormious mishaps goe not to seek re∣dresse to Book-mens houses, or to some poor Country Sextons, not to your Gentle∣man that never stirred from home, nor to the lazie Courtier that rather hearkens after news which hee may report again, then procures to perform deeds and exploixts, that others may relate and write; the redresse of griefs; the succouring of necessities; the protection of Damzells; the comfort of Widdows, is had from no sort of persons so well as from Knights Errant; and that I am one, I give heaven infinite thanks, and I think my disgrace well earned, that I may receive in this noble calling. Let this Matron come and demand what shee will; for I will give her redresse with this my strong Arme and undaunted resolution of my couragious Spirit.