The history of the valorous and vvitty-knight-errant, Don-Quixote, of the Mancha tr. out of the Spanish.

CHAP. XIII.

Where the Adventure of the Knight of the Wood is prosecuted, with the discreete, rare and sweete Coloquy that passed be∣twixt the two Squires.

THE Knights and their Squires were devided, these telling their lives, they their loves: and thus say'th the Storie, that the Squire of the wood said to Sancho, It is a cumbersome life that we leade, Sir, we, I say, that are Squires to Knights Errant: for truely we eate our bread with the sweat of our browes, which is one of the curses, that God laid upon our first parents. You may say also (added Sancho) that we eate it in the frost of our bodies: for who endure more heats and colds, then your miserable Squires to Knights Errant? and yet not so bad if we might eate at all, for good fare lessens care: but sometimes it happens, that we are two daies without eating, except it be the ayre that blowes on us. All this may be borne (quoth he of the wood) with the hope we have of reward: for if the Knight Errant whom a Squire serves, be not two unfortunate, he shall, with a little good hap, see himselfe rewarded with the government of some Island, or with a reasonable Earle∣dome.

I (said Sancho) have often told my Master, that I would content my self with the government of any Island, and hee is so Noble and Liberall, that hee hath often promised it me. I (said hee of the Wood) for my services would bee satisfied with some Canonrie which my Master too hath promised me.

Your Master indeed (said Sancho) belike is an Ecclesiasticall Knight, and may doe his good Squires these kindenesses; but my Master is meerly Lay, though I remember that some persons of good discretion (though out of bad intention) counselled him, that hee should bee an Arch-Bishop; which hee would not bee, but an Emperour: and I was in a bodily fear, lest hee might have a minde to the Church, because I held my self uncapable of benifits by it: for let me tell you, though to you I seem a man, yet in Church matters I am a very beast. Indeed Sir (said hee of the Wood) you are in the wrong; for your Island-Governments are not all so speciall, but that some are crab∣bed, some poor, some distastefull; and lastly, the stateliest and best of all brings with it a heavy burden of cares and inconveniences, which hee (to whom it falls to his lot) undergoes. Farre better it were that wee who professe this cursed slavery, retire home, and there entertain our selves with more delightfull exercises, to wit, hunt∣ing and fishing; for what Squire is there in the World so poor that wants his Nag, his brace of Gray-Hounds, or his Angle-rod, to passe his time with at his Village?

I want none of this (said Sancho:) true it is, I have no Nag; but I have an Asse worth two of my Masters Horse; An ill Christmas God send me (and let it bee the next ensuing) if I would change for him, though I had four bushels of Barley to boot: you laugh at the price of my Dapple, for Dapple is the colour of mine Asse: Well, Gray-Hounds I shall not want neither, there being enough to spare in our Town; besides, the sport is best at another mans charge.

Indeed, indeed, Sir Squire (said hee of the Wood) I have proposed and determined with my self to leave these bezelings of these Knights, and return to my Village, and bring up my Children; for I have three like three Orient pearls. Two have I (said Sancho) that may been presented to the Pope in person, especially one, a W••nch, which I bring up to bee a Count esse (God save her) although it grieve her mo∣ther. And how olde (asked hee of the Wood) is this Lady-Countesse that you bring up so?

Fifteen, somewhat under or over (said Sancho) but shee is as long as a Launce, and as fresh as an Aprill- morning, and as sturdie as a Porter. These are parts (said hee of the Wood) not only for her to bee a Countesse, but a Nymph of the Greeny Grove: Ah whoreson, whore, and what a sting the Quean hath! To which (quoth Sancho, somewhat musty) shee is no Whore, neither was her Mother before her; and none of them (God willing) shall bee, as long as I live; and I pray Sir speak more mannerly; for these speeches are not consonant from you that have been brought up amongst Knights Errant, the flowres of courtesie: Oh (said hee of the Wood) Sir Squire, how you mistake, and how little you know what belongs to praising: what? have you never observed, that when any Knight in the Market-place gives the Bull a sure thrust, with his Launce, or when any body doth a thing well, the common people use to say, Ah whoreson whoremaster, how bravely hee did it? so that that which seems to bee a dispraise, in that sence is a notable commendation; and renounce you those sonnes and daughters that doe not the works that may make their Parents deserve such like praises. I doe renounce (said Sancho) and if you meant no otherwise, I pray you clap a whole Whore-house at once upon my Wife and Children; for all they doe or say, are extreams worthy of such praises, and so I may see them, God deliver me out of this mortall sinne, that is out of this dangerous profession of being a Squire, into which this second time I have incurr'd, being inticed and deceived with the Purse of the hundred Duckats which I found one day in the heart of Sierra Morena, and the Devill cast that bag of Pistolets before mine eyes: me thinks every foot I touch it, hugg it, and carrie it to mine house, set Leas••s, and Rents, and live like a Prince; and still when I think of this, all the toyle that I passe with this Block-head, my Ma∣ster,

seemes easie and tolerable to mee, who, I know, is more Mad-man then Knight.

Hereupon (said he of the Wood) it is said; that, All covet, all lose: And now you talke of mad-men, I thinke, my Master is the greatest in the world, he is one of them that cries, Hang s••rrow; and that another Knight may recover his wits, hee'l make himselfe mad, and will seeke after that, which perhaps once found, will tumble him upon his snowt. And is he amorous haply? Yes (sayd he of the Wood) hee loves one Casildea de Vandalia, the most raw and most rosted Lady in the world; but she halts not on that foot of her rawnesse, for other manner of impostures doe grunt in those entrailes of hers, which ere long will be knowne.

There is no way so plaine (quoth Sancho) that hath not some rubbe, or pit, or as the Proverbe goes; In some houses they seethe beanes, and in mine whole kettles full. So madnesse hath more companions, and more needie ones then wisedome. But if that which is commonly spoken be true, that to have companions in misery is a lightner of it, you may comfort me, that serve as sottish a Master as I doe. Sottish but valiant, (answered he of the wood) but more knave then foole or then valiant. It is not so with my Master, said Sancho: for he is ne're a whit knave; rather he is as dull as a Beetle, hurts no-body, does good to all, he hath no malice, a childe will make him beleeve 'tis night at noon day: and for his simplicity, I love him as my heart∣strings, and cannot finde in my heart to leave him for all his fopperies. For all that, Brother and friend, (said he of the wood) if the blinde guide the blinde, both will be in danger to fall into the pit.

'Tis better to retire faire and softly, and returne to our loved homes: for they that hunt after Adventures, doe not alwaies light upon good Sancho spit often, and as it seemed, a kinde of glewy and dry matter: which noted by the charitable wooddy Squire, he said, Me thinkes with our talking our tongues cleave to our roofes: but I have suppler hangs at the pummel of my horse as good as touch: And rising up, hee returned presently with a Borracha of Wine, and a bak'd meat at least half a yard long; and it is no lye; for it was of a perboyled Cony so large that Sancho, when he felt it, thought it had been of a Goat, and not a Kid: which being seen by Sancho, hee said, And had yee this with you too Sir? Why, what did yee think (said the other?) Doe you take me to bee some hungrie Squire? I have better provision at my horses crup∣per then a Generall carries with him upon a Martch. Sancho fell to without invitation, and champed his bits in the dark, as if he had scraunched knotted cords, and said, I marry Sir, you are a true legall Squire, round and sound, royall and liberall (as appears by your feast) which if it came not hither by way of inchantment, yet it seems so at least, not like mee unfortune wretch, that only carry in my Wallets a little Cheese, so hard that you may breake a Gyants head with it, and only some dozens of Saint Iohns Weed leaves, and some few Wall-nuts and Small-nuts (plentie in the strictnesse of my Master and the opinion hee hath) and the method hee observes, that Knights Errant must only bee maintained and susteined only with a little dry fruit and sallets. By my faith Bro∣ther (replied hee of the Wood) my stomack is not made to your thistles nor your stalks, nor your mountain-roots: let our Masters deale with their opinions and their Knightly Statutes, and eate what they will, I have my cold meats, and this bottle hanging at the pommel of my saddle, will hee or nill hee; which I reverence and love so much, that a minute passeth not, in which I give it not a thousand kisses and embraces: which said, he gave it to Sancho, who rearing it on end at his mouth, looked a quarter of an hour together upon the starres; and when hee had ended his draught hee held his neck on one side, and fetching a great sigh, cries, Oh whoreson Rascall, how Catholike it is? I aw yee there (said hee of the wood, in hearing Sancho's whoreson) how you have praised the wine in calling it whoreson. I say, quoth Sancho, that I confesse I know it is no dishonour to call any body whoreson, when their is a meaning to praise him. But tell me Sir, by the remembrance of her you love best, is this wine of Cinidad Reall? [A place in Spain that hath excellent Wines.] A brave taste, said hee of the wood; it is no lesse; and it is of some yeers standing too. Let mee alone, said Sancho, you could

not but think I must know it to the height. Doe you think it strange, Sir Squire, that I should have so great and so naturall an instinct in distinguishing betwixt wines, that comming to smell any wine, I hit upon the place, the grape, the savour, the lafting, the strength, with all circumstances belonging to wine? But no marve••l, if in my linage by my fathers side, I had two of the most excellent tasters that were known in a long time in Mancha: for proof of which you shall know what befell them.

They gave to these two some wine to taste out of a Hogs-head, asking their opi∣nions, of the state, qualitie, goodnesse or badnesse of the wine: the one of them proved it with the tip of his tongue, the other only smelt to it. The first said, that that wine savoured of yron. The second said, Rather of goats leather. The owner pro∣tested the, Hogshead was cleane, and that the wine had no kinde of mixture, by which it should receive any savour of yron or leather. Notwithstanding, the two fa∣mous tasters stood to what they had said. Time ran on, the wine was sold, and when the vessell was cleansed, there was found in it a little key•• with a leatherne thong han∣ging at it. Now you may see, whether he that comes from such a race, may give his opinion in these matters.

Therefore I say to you (quoth he of the wood) let us leave looking after these Adventures, and since we have content, let us not seeke after dainties, but returne to our cottages, for there God will finde us, if it be his will. Till my Master come to Sa∣ragosa, I meane (quoth Sancho) to serve him, and then weele all take a new course. In fine, the two good Squires talked and drank so much, that it was fit sleepe should lay their tongues, and slake their thirst, but to extinguish, it was impossible; so both of them fastned to the nigh emptie bottle, and their meate scarce out of their mouthes, fell asleepe: where for the present wee will leave them, and tell what passed between the two Knights.