Amusements serious and comical, calculated for the meridian of London by Mr. Brown.

Amusement VIII.

The Philosophical, or Vir∣tuosi Country.

IN this Country every thing is ob∣scure, their Habitations, their Looks, their Language, and their Learining. 'Tis a long time ago since they undertook to cultivate the Coun∣try of Science; but the only Thing they have made clear and undeniable, is, that One and One makes Two: And the Reason why this is so clear, is because it was known by all Men be∣fore they made a Science of it.

Their Geometricians work upon so solid a Foundation, that as soon as e∣ver they have well laid the first Stone, they carry on their Buildings without the least fear, so high as the Atmo∣sphere; but their Philosophers build those haughty Edifices they call Sy∣stems, upon a quite different Bottom.

They lay their Foundation in the Air, and when they think they are come to solid Ground, the Building disappears, and the Architects tum∣ble down from the Clouds.

This Country of Experimental Phi∣losophy, is very Amusing, and their Collections of Rarities exceeds that of Iohn Tradusken, for here are the Galls of Doves, the Eye-Teeth of Flying Toads, the Eggs of Ants, and the Eyes of Oysters. Here they weigh the Air, measure Heat, Cold, Dryness, and Humidity, great Discoveries for the publick advantage of Mankind. Without giving our selves the trouble to make use of our Senses, we need but only cast our Eyes upon a Wea∣ther-Glass, to know if 'tis Hot or Cold, if it Rains, or is Fair Wea∣ther.

Tempted by these Noble Curiosi∣ties, I desired the favour of seeing some of the Gentlemen they called Improvers of Nature, and immediate∣ly they shewed me an Old Bard cut∣ting Asp Leaves into Tongues, which were to be fastened in the Mouths of Flowers, Fruits, Herbs, and Seeds, with design to make the whole Crea∣tion Vocal. Another was Dissecting

Atomes, and Mites in Cheese, for the improvement of the Anatomical Sci∣ence, and a third was transfusing the Blood of an Ass into an Astrological Quack; of a Sheep into a Bully; and of a Fish into an Exchange-Woman, which had all the desired Effects; the Quack prov'd a Sot, the Bully a Cow∣ard, and the Tongue-Pad was Silent. All Prodigies in Nature, and none miscarried in the Operation.

In another Apartment were a curi∣ous Collection of Contemplative Gen∣tlemen, that had their Employments severally assign'd them. One was Chewing the Cud upon Dr. Burnet's New System of the World, and making Notes upon it in Consutation of Moses and all the Antidiluvian Historians. Another was Reconciling the Diffe∣rences among Learned Men, as between Aristotle and Des Cartes, Cardan and Copernicus, William Penn and Christia∣nity, Mr. Edwards and Arabick: De∣termining the Controversy between the Acidists and Alkalists, and putting a Period to the Abstruse Debates be∣tween the Engineers and Mouse-Trap Makers.

If any one ask me, which of these Disputants has Reason of his side, I will say that some of them have the Reason of Antiquity, the other the Rea∣son of Novelty; and in Matters of O∣pinion, these two Reasons have a greater influence upon the Learned, than Reason it self.

Those that set up for finding the North-West Passage into the Land of Philosophy, would with all their Hearts, if it were possible, follow these two Guides all at once, but they are afraid to travel in a Road where they talk of nothing but Accidents and Privation, Hecceities and Entelechias. Then they find themselves all on the sudden sei∣zed with Hot and Cold, Dry and Moist, penetrated by a subtile Mat∣ter, encompassed with Vortexes, and so daunted by the fear of a Vacuum, that it drives them back, instead of encouraging them to go forward.

A Man need not lay it much to Heart that he never Travel'd through this Country; for those that have not so much as beheld it at a distance, know as much of it almost, as these that have spent a great deal of Mo∣ney and Time there; but one of their Arts I admire above all the rest, and

that is, when they have Consumed their Estates in trifling Experiments, to perswade themselves they are now as Rich, and Eat and Drink as Luxu∣riously as ever; they view a single Shilling in a Multiplying Glass, which makes it appear a Thousand, and view their Commons in a Magnifying Glass, which makes a Lark look as big as a Turkey-Cock, and a Three-penny Chop as large as a Chine of Mutton.

Before I let my Traveller pass from this place to Physick, 'twill not be a∣miss to make him remark, That in the Country of Science and the Court, we lose our selves; that we don't search for our selves in Marriage; that in the Walks and among Women we find our selves again; but seldom or never come back from the Kingdom of Phy∣sick.