I ragguagli di Parnasso, or, Advertisements from Parnassus in two centuries : with the politick touch-stone / written originally in Italian by that famous Roman Trajano Bocalini ; and now put into English by the Right Honourable Henry, Earl of Monmouth.

The XXXVI. ADVERTISEMENT.

Thais, that famous Curtizan of the Comick Poets, is at last though after much debate, admitted into Parnassus; who much to Apollo's satisfaction, tells what good she hopes to bring to his Court.

IN the great Councel which was yesterday held in Parnassus by all the Litterati, and the most famous personages of this State, many, learned in all the Liberal Arts, who were lately come to this Court, were propounded to have honourable places allowed them in Par∣nassus; amongst which Thais, that common whore of the Comick Poets, was named for one, and found favourable suffrages, being extraordinarily assisted by Publius Terrentius, who was so partial on her behalf, as he held secret practice with all the Poets. And it hap∣ned that whilst the gates of Parnassus were opened to her, to the end that she might present her self before Apollo, and the Senate of the Vertuosi, to thank them for the favor she had received, the illustri∣ous Cardinal Alexander Fernese, accompanyed by a train of Pre∣lates, withstood Thais as she was about to enter, crying out a∣loud, that if so unworthy a person, from whom nothing but pub∣lick scandal could be expected, should be admitted into Parnassus, he for his part would rather be gone from thence, then see vertuous places profaned with such polutions, which were onely aboads for those Litterati, as by their words, writings, and exemplary lives, could prescribe wholsom Precepts unto others, and that he knew there were many Vertuosi who would put on the same resolution. Whilst the Cardinall spoke thus, and that he endeavoured by force to keep her out of the gate, she was so strongly assisted by a numerous squa∣dron of Poets, who backt Terrentius, as there began a very dangerous dispute at the gate. But wary Thais, who knew that she had al∣ways come by the worst in all the quarrels that she at any time before had ever been the occasion of, said aloud, that she did no ways intend to enter into Parnassus by force, but with the goodwill of every one, and more particularly by the approbation of those most illustrious and Holy Prelates: and that if they were thought worthy of an aboad in Parnassus who could give excellent Councel unto others, and wise Precepts, she should be unjustly dealt withal if she should be denyed to inhabit in those venerable places, and that though she knew she might of right claim an aboad in Parnassus, yet she would acknowledge it as a singular favor, and especially from those that did most withstand her: and that those that did not love to see her in Parnassus, were much deceived in the ill opinion they had of

her, for that there was not any one in those blest habitations, to whom she was not able to give such advertisements, as wiser nor more necessary, could not be given by any whatsoever Moral Phi∣losopher; and that it was not so much for the purchasing of Eter∣nity to her name, that she desired to live amongst the Vertuosi in Parnassus, as to be assisting unto many by her perpetual walking in the streets, and admonishing every one to live modestly ever a∣mongst their neighbours; and to shun the foul vice of calling their companion whore, as they would shun death; if their own Consci∣ences were not cleer: for that there being many wrangling Courti∣ers, they had oft times faln at such odds, as by blows and calum∣nious speeches they had wounded their reputations: and that Offi∣cers who went to have the Government of Provinces, could not learn the important and difficult Philosophy of getting monies in their governments, with reputation, from any more learned in∣structress, then from her, for that onely Thais knew the accurate Art of fleecing the flock with such diligence and dexterity, as they would rather seem to be tickled and rejoyce, then exclaim or make any noise, in which practice she boasted her self to be so singular, as she had seen her sweethearts a thousand times, to be then most in love with her, when being flead to the quick, and galled to the very bones, she had sent them raw and naked to the Hospital, from whence they have notwithstanding sent her amorous Epistles. That they who were greedy of riches, who did everywhere, and by all means, sweat and labour after the accumulating of Gold, might learn by her onely unfortunate example, that wealth ill got, through Gods just Anger vanisht into smoak; for of all the innu∣merable monies which she had suckt from out the veins of her lo∣vers, and the great riches which she robd many families of, she had now nothing remaining but those four lashes which every one might see upon her back; when if God had given a blessing to the mo∣nies which had past through her hand, instead whereof she had had a thousand curses; she might have vyed for wealth with any Prin∣cess. Next, that every one might learn, by her face which was so pleasing to her friends, by her flatteries, and falacies with which she used to delude and allure and intice those ill advised young men which she got into her hands; by her continual smiles, by which she covered her ravenous minde, and that sharp Rasor, wherewith without any manner of discretion or piety she did shave, nay, even flea her lovers; never to trust appearances, grateful acceptance, fair words, and offered courtesies, and never to give themselves over into any ones power, unless they had first perfectly anatomised them. For many such as she, had pleasing aspects, good looks, and sweet breaths, whose disguises being taken off by discreet persons, and their inside of their souls discovered, they were found to be stink∣ing carren, full of festered wounds, and to have false souls, and fraudulent hearts, and infinitely interessed. Then turning towards Cardinal Fernese; Thais said, And who when I shall have opened my house in Parnassus, ought more to frequent my schoole then your Excellency my most illustrious Sir, wherein you may learn

that important vertue of newtrality, which the Popes Nephews, such as your self, have so much need of: a Science wherein I am so well known, as I may read it in the schooles; for never being whilst I lived in the world, without twenty Pamphilioes, all ina∣mored of me, who all of them hated one another by reason of the jealousie which useth to be among young rivals, yet by my sagaci∣ty I have always known how to behave my self so dexterously with them, as I have rather taken their weapons from them, then put them into their hands: by which means I was able to reap great advantage from them, without ever loosing any one of them. A rare Precept, and a piece of cunning as singular, as hard to be put in practice: and the more necessary for such as your Lordship, for that you do not like me, who keep my lovers fast imprisoned by the strong chains of Lust; but you hold those whom you have been a Benefactor unto, by the weak thred of gra∣titude; which is broken by every least shadow of distaste, though it be unwarily given. And I have known many such as you, who by having unwisely been inamored on some one person, have not onely lost their own interest, but greatly ruined that friends Fortune whom they would exalt, by the jealousies which they have raised in all the rest of their followers, foolishly furnishing them with weapons, whereby they have forced those, who would other∣wise have been very grateful, to change the defect of partiality, with the vice of Ingratitude. All which are so true and necessa∣ry Advertisements, as if they be observed as they ought to be, by such as you are, you shall never have any reason upon any dis∣like, to complain more of your friends infidelity, then of the ha∣tred of those that love you. It being an observed rule by such as I am, that he who will be attended by many loving followers, must not be adulterously in love with one onely person.