I ragguagli di Parnasso, or, Advertisements from Parnassus in two centuries : with the politick touch-stone / written originally in Italian by that famous Roman Trajano Bocalini ; and now put into English by the Right Honourable Henry, Earl of Monmouth.

The XXXI. ADVERTISEMENT.

In the time of Carneval, the Vertuosi in Parnassus run races, and make other demonstrations of mirth, and jollitie.

THe time of the Vertuosi's festivals, and publick rejoycings being come, Apollo caused Macrobius to publish by sound of Trumpet, in the Chaire appropriated thereunto, Aulus Gelius his Saturnalia (whom the reformers of the modern Pedantry call Messer Agillio) his pleasant Attick Nights; and the pleasant genial or jovial dayes of Alessandro de gli Alessandri, and finally the merry Bacchenalia of the Romans, the Lords of the world, and supream Princes of Learning, all of them festival and merry daies, and consecrated by the Genius of gallant men: and by his Majesties particular edict it was commanded that they should be chearfully celebrated by all the Nations of the Vertuosi which inhabit Parnassus, ac∣cording to the institutions and customes of their several Countries. As soon as this so joyfull news was made known to the people, the rich publick Libraries were opened in Parnassus, and the famous Libraries of privat men, into which during those daies of jubile, it was lawfull for eve∣ry one to enter, to come out of, and to tarry there as long as they listed, to surfet by their perpetual reading upon the savory viands which the Ver∣tuosi have first seasoned, and then disht up at the plentifull Table of their Composures.

It was an honourable and a joyfull spectacle to see the publick invitati∣ons made by Plato, by Athenaeus, and the other great Princes of the Court, throughout the whole streets and houses of Parnassus, where the Vertu∣osi drank deeply of the Falerno of Learning, and filled their bellies till they were ready to burst with good Discipline. Only the Doctors of

Law, seeing the Shop of their Tribunals, and of their litigious Traffick shut, were sad, and died for hunger amidst such plenty of savory meats, and abundance of merriments: For meer Pettifoggers being many ages before declared by his Majestie to be meere Asses, he inhibited them to feed upon the sweet food of Divinity, Philosophy, Poetry, Astrology, and other savory Sciences, upon which the acutest Wits do only feed. Wherefore the Pettifoggers were seen, much to their shame, to go through Kitchins licking of Ladles, whereas other Scienced men were served with all the delicacies of Learning; and then it was that high∣minded spirits did detest the sordid study of Law-Cases, and great Vo∣lumes of trivial Law, as that which being only able to fatten the fowle great body of Wealth, makes curious wits die of the Hectick Feaver: But above all the rest, the invitation made by Pliny, was the most famous, to which the most learned in all Sciences that were in Parnassus, being come, they were all satisfied according to their several pallats, with costly and pleasant Cates. And though at that splendid Feast they did for the most part only eat and swallow Gudgins, yet were they all so well drest, and handsomly disht in by that copious. Wit, as they were eaten by all the Guest with much delight, praised for their excellency, and taken for truths.

The third day of the Feast there appeared two load of Neapolitan Villa∣nelle Fruits of Parthenope, which for being come from that vertuous Cli∣mat, were suddenly bought up and eaten by the hunger-starv'd wits of the Litterati; but because through their much slipperiness, or glibness, they occasioned dangerous Fluxes in most that eat them, such impurities were forthwith forbidden by the Censors to be any more brought into Parnas∣sus. The same day Tansillus clad like a Gardner, presented Apollo with a basket full of Neapolitan Brocali, the excellencies whereof he did so ex∣agerate in four Stanzas which he on the sudden recited, as having perswad∣ed his Majestie to taste them, as soon as by the very smell he found them to be ordinary Coleworts, he turned towards Tansillus, and said, All your Poetry will never make your Neapolitan Brocali prove any thing bu•…•… common Coleworts; and Coleworts do not deserve the praise of so much prittle prattle.

Soon after, a handsom Peasant of Ferrara, called Pastor Fido, presented his Majestie with an odoriferous handsom Tart: Apollo not staying for the usual hour of dinner, fell to eat it with such an appetite in the open street, as he lickt his lips and fingers ends, according to the Countrey-fa∣shion, when he tasted the Pastoral Tart; and seemed so delighted with that food, as he thought it not only good manners, but even requisite to give part thereof to the Illustrious Muses, left that they, who are alwaies big with Verse, by longing to taste thereof, might miscarry, or might be delivered of a Poem marked with some fowl spot of ignorance. Whilst the Muses, being called by his Majestie, did together with Apollo, eat the Tart of that fortunate Shepheard with such delight, the Vertuosi who stood looking on, longed very much to taste so savory a thing. Wherefore his Majestie gave every one of them a piece of it; and the Tart was so commended, as they all confest there could nothing of more delicate in that kind be eaten. There was only one of the Vertuosi who said it nau∣seated him, as being too Melli•…•…uous; to whom Apollo, being much in∣censed, said, That sweetness was the friend of Nature, and that those that

were not mightily delighted therewithall, had a depraved taste, and that he was certainly a malignant, if he did not confess that that delicate Tart, being seasoned with more conceptions then words, was raised up with the Paste of Capons skins; and that he made himself to be known to be one of those sowre detractors, who blinded by envy, blame such things as are to be imitated by extraordinarily fruitfull wits: But his Majesties an∣ger, and the dread which the Vertuoso was in, were turned to laughter, when the Tart being wholly eaten, Signco•…•… Giovandalla Casa, took the Plate whereon it stood, and licking it with equal greediness and unman∣nerliness, told his Majesty and the Muses, that in things that do ravish with delight, men were not Masters of themselves, nor could they re∣member Gallateo's rules, and that in time of Carneval, it was lawfull to commit exorbitances.

His Majestie went afterwards about the Foro Massimo, and was much delighted to see every corner full of canvasing and disputations, and the Piazza throng'd with Orators, who made Learned Orations in praise of the Learned Sciences; and bitter invectives against ignorance. Some phantasti∣cal Italian Poets added to his Majesties mirth, many of which being mounted upon benches, sung an infinite number of Verses ex tempore, which shewed they could not imitate the Latine Poets, who through dif∣ficulty of feet, by which their Verses walk, are forced to goe lea∣surely.

And now Apollo dismist the Muses, who went sporting themselves for many hours through the gladsom street with their inamored Poets; and were much delighted in Mauro's shop, wherein were great store of large and little beans, with which some of those Dieties cram'd their bellies full: And it was noted for a very strange thing, that they liked the emp∣ty husks better then those that had kernels in them. They then cast their eye upon Monsieur de la Casa's Oven; they entred where Varchi was kneading, and from thence went into the shop where Iovan Baptista Marini made Spanish Buskins, whereof whilst Coppetta would have puld on one, and it proving to be very streight, he used violence in pluck∣ing of it on, that he tore it, so as (which occasioned much laughter in the, rest) he pulled off one of the straps, and gave a strapping fart.

As Apollo returned afterwards to his Royal Palace, some Courtiers of great Princes desired they might have leave to make some Mascherades; to whom his Majestie answered, That they needed not to mask or disguise their faces, for that their souls were so well masked, as they might go any where safely, for he assured them they could not be known, neither by the eye, nor yet by the judgement of any man, how wise soever.

The next day, according to custom, they ran Races with their Coaches; and it fell out odly amongst those of four wheels, for many Charrets ap∣pearing at the first starting with new wheels well greased, and swift horses, Cornelius Tacitus appeared there with a three-wheel'd Charret, swathed round about, and drawn by lean weather-wrung-Jades, which he had hired. And then it was that Tacitus made his skill appear; for being started, whilst all the other skilfull Coachmen belaboured themselves in the Cource, and deafned all the lookers on with the noise they made in whipping their horses, and speaking unto them, crying, stand up; Taci∣tus very tacitly, no waies discomposing himself, by his rare dexterity, and admirable skill, did so seasonably switch and put on his horses, and did so

judiciously guide his disordered Charret, as he was come to the Staff or Post, before the other fleeter Charrets had driven two thirds of the way. Whereby all the Vertuosi of this State discerned how much the dexterity of a juditious wit, exceeds strength or force in all things in so much, as the wisest said, that they who carry on their business handsomly, with skill and dexterity, are fit to bring any disordered enterprize to a good end. The Vertuosi were not so much delighted in seeing the Courtiers run on foot naked: For they were much troubled to see what injustice was used in the inequality of the starting-places; which the ignoble and poor Ver∣tuosi took from farr off; whereas they that were noble and wealthy, were so near the staff, as without running, they might touch it, if they would but put forth their hand: So as by such inequality, they thought it rather a thing purchast by fortune, then gotten by industrious labour, when at Court a poor Litterato comes by the staff of honor and Supream digni∣ties. Yet in this last Race it was observed, that many Noble and rich men came behind, and the poor mean runners won the reward: And though some say they did it through the humorousness of Princes, and by favors backt by Court; yet the more judicious sort affirm, that it is necessary for such who by their dexterity and fair behaviour, know how to gain their Princes love, and have the wit to arive at highest preferments from them, to have good legs to run withall. But great was the mirth which was caused in all the people, by a chance which hapned between two very noted Personages of the Court, who (as it often falls out) whilst the one thought to keep the other back, they justled one another, and grew so an∣gry, as giving over the chief business of who should win the Race, in the midst of the way (which was very dirty) they indiscreetly fell together by the ears, and after having cruelly bespattered one another, by foul accusa∣tions, and shamefull calumnies, they became a ridiculous spectacle to the lookers on; and for their greater shame, were hist at by them. This, though it appeared ridiculous to the foolish rabble, was notwithstanding thought so worthy consideration by his Majestie, that, as being very ex∣emplary, he gave order that it should be cut in Marble by Praxiteles, that it might serve everlastingly for a Lesson to wrangling Courtiers. It me∣rits memory, that whilst Servius Honoratus, Master of the Barbary Horse which won the Race, went crying through Parnassus (as the custom is) Long live Virgil, that gallant Personage, who counts that shame, which o∣ther Poets account glory, caused Servius to be bastinadoed by his servant Daretes; for which act, though Apollo was much troubled at it, Virgil justified himself, saying, That he had left such memory behind him in the world, as his name ought to be exalted and celebrated for his own worth, not for the gallantry of a horse. Of former years the Prizes were readi∣ly, and without any ceremony given to those that won them, by the Go∣vernor of Parnassus, and by the Urban Pretor; but this year Apollo would give them with his own hands: Wherefore he caused it to be intimated to all the Potentates that were in Parnassus, by the publick Parators, that they should appear in the Royal Hall, that they might be present at so im∣portant a ceremony: It seemed a great novelty to those Princes, to hear that his Majesty would have those Princes who were summoned only up∣on weighty occasions, assist at an action which in former years was thought but mean. Yet his Majesties commands being upon pain of punishment, they all appeared. Then Apollo said, I know, my Lords, that you very

much wonder why I my self should now do that with so much solemnity, w^ch formerly was performed by my Officers without any manner of cere∣mony: But because not only all your happiness, but even all the greatest satisfaction which the the people over whom you command, does depend on this sole action; for your own advantage I would have you present at it. Learn then of me, all you Rulers of the earth, to banish all privat passions from out your hearts; and in rewarding those that serve you, govern your selves by their deserts, not by your own humors, and giving (as you see me do now) the prize of dignities, and reward of honours to those who by their honorable and laborious course of life have deserved them, you and your posterity will reigne happily for ever: When by doing otherwise, you will dishonour your selves, ruine your States, and of great Princes, which now you are, you wil in time run evident danger of becoming privat foot Souldiers, only for that you would be inamored of stinking carrion.