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THE FOUR-LEGG'D ELDER,
OR, A true RELATION OF A DOG and an ELDER'S Maid.
To the Tune of The Lady's Fall, or Gather your Rose-buds; and Fourty other Tunes.
1.
ALl Christians and Lay-Elders too,
For shame amend your Lives;
I'll tell you of a Dog-trick now,
Which much concerns your Wives.
An Elder's Maid neer Temple-bar,
(O what a Quean was she!)
Did take an ugly Mastive Cur
Where Christians use to be.
Help House of Commons, House of Peers!
O now or never help!
Th' Assembly having sate four years
Has now brought forth a Whelp.
2.
One evening late she stepp'd aside,
Pretending to fetch Eggs;
And there she made her self a Bride
To one that had four leggs.
Her Master heard a Rumblement,
And wondred she did tarry,
Not dreaming, without his consent,
His Dog would ever marry.
3.
Her Master peep'd, but was afraid,
And hastily did run
To fetch a staff, to help his Maid,
Not knowing what was done.
He took his Ruling-Elder's Cane,
And cri'd out, Help, help here!
For Swash our Mastiff and poor Jane
Are now Fight Dog fight Bear.
4.
But when he came, he was full sorry,
For he perceiv'd their strife,
That, according to the Directory,
They two were Dog and Wife.
Ah then, said he, thou cruel Quean,
Why hast thou me beguil'd?
I wonder'd Swash was grown so lean;
Poor Dog! he's almost spoil'd.
5.
I thought thou hadst no carnal sence
But what's in other Lasses,
And couldst have quench'd thy 'cupiscence
According to the Classes.
But all the Parish sees it plain
Since thou art in this pickle,
Thou art an Independent Quean,
And lov'st a Conventicle.
6.
Alas! now each Malignant Rogue
Will all the world perswade
That she that's Spouse unto a Dog
May be an Elder's Maid:
They'll jeer us if abroad we stir,
Good Master Elder, stay,
Sir, of what Classis is your Cur?
And then what can we say?
7.
They'll many graceless Ballads sing
Of a Presbyterian,
That a Lay-Elder is a thing
Made up half-Dog, half-Man.
Out, out, said he, and smote her down;
Was Mankind grown so scant?
There's scarce another Dog i'th' Town
Had took the Covenant.
8.
Then Swash began to look full grim,
And Jane did thus reply,
Sir, you thought nought too good for him.
You fed your Dog too high:
'Tis true, he took me in the lurch
And leap'd into mine Arm,
But as I hope to go to Church,
I did your Dog no harm.
9.
Then she was led to Newgate Jail,
Where she was naked stript;
They whipt her 'till the Cord did fail,
As Doggs us'd to be whipt.
Poor City-Maids shed many a tear
When she was lash'd and bang'd:
But had she been a Cavalier
Surely she had been hang'd.
10.
Her's was but Fornication found,
For which she felt the lash;
But his was Buggery presum'd,
Therefore they hanged Swash.
What will become of Bishops then
Or Independency?
For now we find both Doggs and Men
Stand for Presbytery.
11.
She might have took a Sow-gelder,
With Synod-men good store;
But she would have a Lay-Elder
With two leggs and two more.
Go tell th' Assembly of Divines,
Tell Adoniram blue,
Tell Burgess, Marshal, Case, and Vines;
Tell Now-and-anon-too.
12.
Some say she was a Scottish Girl,
Or else, at least a Witch;
But she was born in Colchester:
Was ever such a Bitch!
Take heed, all Christian Virgins now,
The Dog-star now prevails;
Ladies, beware your Monkies too,
For Monkies have long tails.
13.
Bless King and Queen, and send us Peace
As we had seven years since:
For we remember no Dog-days
While we enjoy'd our Prince.
Bless sweet Prince Charles, two Dukes, three Girls;
Lord save his Majesty!
Grant that his Commons, Bishops, Earls,
May lead such lives as He.
Help House of Commons, House of Peers!
O now or never help!
Th' Assembly having sate four years
Has now brought forth a whelp.