Once it happened upon a Tryal, that a plain Country fellow giving Evidence in the Court, and pressing it home, moved this person who was Councel on the other side, to pick a quarrel with the poor mans Leather Doublet, and amongst other Interrogations bawl'd out, You fellow in the Leather Doublet, pray what have you for Swearing; the Man upon this, looking steadily on him, replyed, Truly Sir, if you have no more for Lying than I have for Swearing, you might wear a Leather Doublet as well as I: This bluntly retorted, moved at that time much laugh∣ter, and filled the Town with the discourse of it.
Another time it so fell out, that some Musitioners brought an Action against a person, at whose Wedding they had play'd, for the Money they were promised or expected, when in the midst of the Evidence, this Person called to one of them, viz. You Fidler, &c. at which the Man seeming to be disgusted, he again, upon the parties alledging himself to be a Musitioner demanded what difference there was between a Musitioner and a Fidler; As much, Sir, said he, as there is between a pair Bagpipes and a Recorder; and he then being Recorder of London, it was taken as a suitable Repartee.
Being at a Country Assize as Judge, an old Man with a great Beard, came to give evidence before him, and not doing it to his mind, he began to cavil with his Beard, and amongst other expressions told him, that if his Conscience was as large as his Beard, he might well swear any thing; This so nettled the old blade, that without any respect to his greatness, he briskly replyed, My Lord, If you go about to measure Consciences by Beards, your Lordship has none: Many more of this kind might be mentioned, but not being greatly to the purpose, they are willingly omitted.
But to return to the thread of this Discourse; passing by his vehement and pressing Discourse to the Jury against William Lord Russel, on his Tryal at the Old-Baily, which some say greatly influenced them to find him Guilty; and add, that he did it out of a Pique, in remembrance he was one of the Members of the Parliament before whom he was brought on his Knees. We find him by this time Trying of Dr. Titus Oats upon two Informations, upon the account of his Swearing to the White-Horse Consult, and Ireland's being in Town; and after a long Debate, wherein many sharp Repartees passed, the Jury made a shift to find him Guilty; as to the Circucumstances, I referr you to the Tryal; but the Sentence was severe, and of its Effects few are ignorant, wherefore I shall pass it over, as also that of Mr. Tho. Dangerfield, another of the Evidences in discovering the Con∣trivances and carrying on of the Popish Plot, which the Papists by these manner of Proceedings accounted to be damn'd to the lowest Erebus. And now before any thing remarkably happened, the Kingdom was allarum'd by the landing of the late Duke of Monmouth at Lyme in Dorset-shire, and the Earl of Argyle in Scot∣land; but however these two unfortunate Gentlemen miscarrying, and losing their Lives, left a great many of their miserable Followers to feel the severity of Punishment; and as for the gleanings of the bloody Field in England, they came to the sifting of this Person, who with others, going down with a Commission to Try them, all the Indignities the Dissenters had put upon him came fresh into his remembrance, so that he made them find the Laws more cruel than the Sword, and wish they had fallen in the Field, rather than have come to his handling; for he breathed Death like a destroying Angel, and sanguined his very Ermins in Blood, a large Account of which you shall have in its proper place.