The feign'd curtizans, or, A nights intrigue a comedy : as it is acted at the Dukes Theatre / written by Mrs. A. Behn.

ACT I. SCENE I.

Enter Laura, Lucretia, and Silvio richly drest; Antonio attending, Coming all in in haste.

Silvio.

MAdam, you need not make such haste away, the Stranger that follow'd us from St. Peters Church, pursues us no longer, and we have now lost sight of him: Lord who wou'd have thought the approach of a handsome Cavalier should have possest Dona Laura Lucretia with fear?

Lau.

I do not fear my Silvio, but I wou'd have this new Habitation which I've design'd for love, known to none but him to whom I've de∣stin'd my heatt:—ah wou'd he know the Conquest he has made,

[Aside.]

Nor went I this evening to Church with any other Devotion, but that which warms my heart for my young English Cavalier, whom I hop't to have seen there, and I must finde some way to let him know my passion which is too high for souls like mine to hide.

Silv.

Madam, the Cavalier's in view again, and hot in the pursuit

Lau.

Lets haste away then, and Silvio do you lag behinde, 'twill give him an opportunity of Enquiring, whilst I get out of sight,—be sure you conceal my Name and Quality, and tell him—any thing but truth—tell him I am La Silvianetta the young Roman Curtizan, or what you please to hide me from his knowledge.

[Exeunt Lau.

Enter Julio and Page in Pursuit.

Jul.

Boy fall you into discourse with that Page, and learn his Ladys Name—whilst I pursue her farther.

[Exeunt Jul.

Page salutes Silvio, who returns it, they go out as talking to each other.

Enter Sr Harry Fillamour and Galliard.

Fill.

He follows her close, whoe're they be: I see this trade of Love goes forward still.

Gall.

And will whilst there's difference in Sexes. But Harry the wo∣men, the delicate Women I was speaking of?

Fill.

Prethee tell me no more of thy fine Women, Frank, thou hast not been in Rome above a Month, and thou'ast been a Dozen times in Love as thou call'st it: to me there is no pleasure like Constancie.

Gall.

Constancy! and woudst thou have me one of those dull Lovers who believe it their Duty to Love a Woman till her Hair and Eyes change Colour for fear of the Scandalous Name of an inconstant! No, my Passion like great Victors hates the lazy stay, but having vanquisht, prepares for new Conquests.

Fill.

Which you gain as they do Towns by Fire, lose'em even in the taking, thou wo't grow Penitent and weary of these Dangerous sollys.

Gall.

But I am yet two young for both: Let old Age and infirmity bring Repentance,—there's her f•…•…eble Province, and even then too we finde no Plague like being depriv'd of dear Woman-kinde.

Fill.

I hate Playing about a Flame that will consume me.

Gall.

Away with your Antiquated Notions, and let's once hear sence from thee: Examine but the whole World Harry, and thou wilt sinde a Beautifull woman the desire of the Noblest, and the reward of the Bravest.

Fill.

And the common Prize of Coxcombs: times are alter'd now, Frank, why else shou'd the Virtuous be cornuted, the Coward be carest, the Villain role with Six, and the Fool lye with her Ladyship.

Gall.

Meer Accident Sir: and the kindness of Fortune, but a Pretty witty young Creature, such as this Silvianetta, and Euphemia, is cer∣tainly the greatest blessing this wicked World can afford us.

Fill.

I believe the Lawful enjoyment of such a Woman, and honest too, wou'd be a blessing.

Gall.

Lawful enjoyment! Prethee what's lawful enjoyment, but to enioy'em according to the generous indulgent Law of Nature; en∣joy'em as we do Meat, Drink, Ayr and Light, and all the rest of her common blessings;—therefore prithee dear Knight, let me govern thee but for a day, and I will shew thee such a Signiora, such a Beauty, an∣other manner of piece then your so admired Vitterboan, Dona Marcella, of whom you boast so much.

Fill.

And yet this rare piece is but a Curtizan, in course plain Eng∣lish, a very Whore!—

Who filthily exposes all her Beautys to him can give her most, not Love her best.

Gall.

Whe faith, to thy comfort be it spoken, she does distribute her char•…•…s at that easy rate.

Fill.

O•…•… 〈◊〉〈◊〉 •…•…ast distance between an innocent passion, and a poor faithless 〈◊〉〈◊〉

Gall.

Innocent Passion at Rome! Oh 'tis not to be nam'd but in some Northern Climat: to be an Anchoret here, is to be an Epicure in Green∣land; impossibillities Harry!

Gall.

Sure •…•…ou hast been advising with Sir Signal Buffoons Gover∣nor! that formall! piece of nonsense and Hipocrifie.

Fill.

No faith, I brought the Humour along with me to Rome, and for your Governor I have not seen him yet, though he lodge in this same House with us, and you promis'd to bring me acquainted with long since.

Gall.

I'le do't this very minute!

Fill.

No, I'me oblig'd not to engage my self this Evening, 〈◊〉〈◊〉 I expect the arrival of Count Julio, whose last Letters assur'd me wou'd be to night.

Gall.

Julio! What the young Itallian Count you made me acquain∣ted with last Summer in England?

Fill.

The same, the Ambasadors Nephew, a good youth and on•…•… I esteem.

Enter Julio.

Jul.

I hope my Page will bring intelligence who this beauty is.

Fill.

Hah, Julio! Welcome dear Friend.

[embraces him.

Jul.

Sir Harry Fillamour! how glad am I to meet you in a Country where I have power to repay you all those Friendships I receiv'd when I was a stranger to yours.

Monsieur Galliard too, nay then I'me sure to want no diversion whilst I stay in Rome.

[Salutes Galliard.

Fill.

But pray, what made you leave England so soon?

Jul.

E'ne the great business of Mankinde, Matrimony, I have an Uncle here who has provided me Fetters which I must put on, he says, they will be easy, I lik't the Character of my Mistress well enough, a brave Masculine Lady, a Roman of Quality, Dona Laura Lucretia, till as luck wou'd have it at my arrival this Evening, stepping into S. Peters Church, I saw a woman there that fir'd my heart, and whom I fol∣low'd to her house; but meeting none that cou'd inform me who she was, I left my Page to make the discovery, whilst I with equal impati∣ence came to look out you; whose sight I prefer even to a new Amour, resolving not to visit home, to which I have been a stranger this seven years, till I had kist your hands, and gain'd your promise to accom∣pany me to Vitterbo.

Fill.

Vitterbo! is that your place of Residence?

Jul.

Yes; 'tis a pretty Town, and many noble Familys inhabit there, stor'd too with Beauties, at least, 'twas wont to be: have you not seen it?

Gall.

Yes! and a Beauty there too lately for his repose, who has made him sigh and look so like an Ass ever since he came to Rome.

Jul.

I'me glad you have so powerfull an argument to invite you back, I know she must be rare, and of quality that cou'd engage your heart.

Fill.

She's both, it most unluckily fell out, that I was recommended by a Person of Quality in England to a Nobleman at Vitterbo, who be∣ing a man of a temper frank and gallant, receiv'd me with less Cere∣mony then is usual in Italy. I had the freedom of the House, one of the finest Villa's belonging to Vitterbo, and the pleasure to see and con∣verse at a distance, with one of the loveliest persons in the World, a Neece of this old Counts.

Jul.

Very well, and cou'd you see her but at distance, Sir?

Fill.

Oh, no, 'twas all I durst desire, or she durst give; I came too late to hope; she being before promis'd in Marriage to a more happy man, the Consummation of which waits only the arival of a Brother of hers, who is now at the Court of France, and every day expected.

Enter Petro like a Barber.

Gall.

Hah! Signior Petro:

Fill.

Come Sir, we'l take a turn in the i'th gallery, for this pimp never appears but Frances desires to be in private.

Gall.

Thou wrong'st an honest ingenious fellow to call him pimp.

Pet.

Ah Signior, what his worship pleases!

Gall.

That thou art I'le be sworn, or what any mans worship pleases, for let me tell ye Harry, he is capacitated to oblige in any quali∣ty; for Sir, he's your brokering Jew, your Fencing, Dancing and Ci∣villity-Master, your Linguist, your Antiquary, your Bravo, your Pa∣thick, your Whore, your Pimp, and a thousand more Excellencies he has to supply the necessities of the wanting stranger.—Well sirrah—What designe now upon Sir Signal and his wise Governor;—What do you represent now?

Pet.

A Barber Sir.

Gall.

And why a Barber, good Signior Petro?

Pet.

Oh Sir, the sooner to take the heights of their judgments, it gives handsome opportunities to commend their faces, for if they are pleased with flattery, the certain sign of a fool's to be most tickled when most commended, I conclude 'em the fitter for my purpose; they al∣ready put great confidence in me, will have no Masters but of my recom∣mending, all which I supply my self, by the help of my several dis∣guises; by which and my industry, I doubt not but to pick up a good honest painfull livelihood, by cheating these two Reverend Coxcombs.

Gall.

How the Devil got'st thou this credit with 'em?

Pet.

Oh easily Sir, as knaves get estates, or fools employments.

Fill.

I hope amongst all your good qualities you forgot not your more natural one of pimping.

Pet.

No, I assure you Sir, I have told Sir Signal Buffoon; that no Man lives here without his Inamorata, which very word has so fir'd him, that he's resolv'd to have an Inamorata, whatever it cost him, and as in all things else I have in that too promis'd my assistance.

Gall.

If you assist him no better then you have done me he may stay long enough for his Inamorato.

Pet.

Why faith Sir, I lye at my young Lady night and day, but she is so loath to part with that same Maiden-head of hers yet—but to morrow night Sir ther's hopes.—

Gall.

To morrow night! Oh 'tis an Age in Love! desire knows no time but the present, 'tis now I wish, and now I wou'd enjoy, a new day ought to bring a new desire.

Pet.

Alas Sir I'me but an humble Bravo.

Gall.

Yes thou'rt a pimp, yet want'st the art to procure a longing lover the woman he adores, tho' but a common Curtizan—Oh con∣found her Maidenhead—She understands her trade too well to have that badge of Innocence.

Pet.

I offered her her price Sir—.

Gall.

Double it, give any thing, for that's the best receipt I ever found to soften womens hearts.

Pet.

Well Sir, she will be this Evening in the Garden of Medices Villa, there you may get an opportunity to advance your interest—I must step and trim Mr. Tickletext, and then am at your service!

[Exit Petro.

Jul.

What is this Knight and his Governor who have the blessed for∣tune to be manag'd by this Squire?

Fill.

Certain fools Galliard makes use on when he has a minde to laugh: and whom I never thought worth a visit since I came to Rome: and he's like to profit much by his Travells, who keeps company with all the English, especially the Fops.

Gall.

Faith Sir, I came not abroad to return with the formallity of a Judge; and these are such anditotes against Melancholy as wou'd make thee fond of fooling.—Our Knights Father is even the first Gentle∣man of his House, a fellow, who having the good Fortune to be much a fool and knave, had the attendant blessing of getting an Estate of some eight thousand a year, with this Coxcomb to inherit it; who (to agrandize the Name and Family of the Buffoons) was made a Knight, but to refine throughout and make a compleat Fop, was sent abroad under the Government of one Mr. Tickletext his zealous Fathers Chap∣lain, as errant a block-head as a man wou'd wish to hear Preach: the Father wisely foreseeing the eminent danger that young Travellers are in of being perverted to Popery.

Jul.

'Twas well consider'd.

Gall.

But for the young Spark there is no description can reach him; 'tis only to be done by himself; let it suffice 'tis a pert, sawcy, con∣ceited 〈1 page duplicate〉〈1 page duplicate〉

〈1 page duplicate〉〈1 page duplicate〉

Animal, whom you shall just now go see, and admire, for he lodges in the house with us.

Jnl.

With all my heart, I never long'd more for a new acquaintance.

Fill.

And in all probability shall sooner desire to be rid on't. aloone.—

[Exeunt.

SCENE II.

Draws off, and discovers Mr. Tickletext a Trimming, his hair under a Cap, a cloath before him, and Petro Snaps his fingers, takes away the Bason, and goes to wiping his face.

• Tickletext
• and Petro.

Pet.

Ah che Bella! Bella! I swear by these sparkling Eyes, and these soft Plump dimpl'd cheeks, there's not a Signiora in all Rome, cou'd she behold 'em, were able to stand their Temptations, and for La Silvianetta, my life on't she's your own.

Tick.

Teze, teze, speak softly!—but honest Barberacho, do I, do I indeed look plump, and young, and fresh and—hah!

Pet.

Ay Sir, as the Rosie Morn, young, as old Time in his Infan∣cie, and plump as the Pale-fac't Moon.

Tick.

He—Whe this Travelling must needs improve a Man,—Whe how admirably well spoken your very Barbers are here,—

[Aside.]

—but Barberacho, did the young Gentlewoman say she lik't me? did she Rogue? did she?

Pet.

A doated on you Signior, doated on you.

Tick.

Whe, and that's strange now, in the Autumn of my Age too, when Nature began to be impertinent, as a man may say, that a young Lady shou'd fall in love with me———

[Aside.

——Whe Barberacho, I do not conceive any great matter of Sin only in visi∣ting a Lady that loves a man, hah.

Pet.

Sin Sir, 'tis a frequent thing now adays in Persons of your Complexion.

Tick.

Especially here at Rome too, where 'tis no Scandal.

Pet.

Ay Signior, where the Ladys are Priviledg'd, and Fornication Licenc't.

Tick.

Right! and when 'tis Licens'd 'tis Lawful, and when 'tis Lawful it can be no Sin: besides Barberacho, I may chance to turn her, who knows!

Pet.

Turn her Signior, Alass any way, which way you please.

Tick.

He he he! There thou wert knavish, I doubt—but I mean Convert her—Nothing else I profess Barberacho.

Pet.

True Signior, true, she's a Lady of an easy Nature, and an Indifferent Argument well handled will do't—ha—

[combing out his Hair.

here's your head of Hair—here's your Natural Frize! And such an Ayr it gives the Face!—So Signior—Now you have the utmost my Art can do.

[takes away the cloth and bows.

Tick.

Well Signior:—and where's your looking-glass.

Pet.

My looking-glass.

Tick.

Yes Signior your Looking-glass! an English Barber wou'd as soon have forgotten to have snapt his fingers, made his leg, or taken his Money, as have neglected his looking-glass.

Pet.

Aye Signior, in your Countrey the Laiety have so little ho∣nesty, they are not to be trusted with the taking off your Beard unless you see't done,—but heres a Glass, Sir,

[gives him the Glass.

[Tick. Sets himself and smirks in the Glass, Pet. standing behinde him, making horns and grimaces, which Tick. sees in the Glass, gravely rises, turns towards Petro.

Tick.

Whe how now, Barberacho, what Monstrous faces are you making there?

Pet.

Ah my Belly, my Belly, Signior: ah, this Wind-Collick! this Hypocondriach does so torment me! ah—

Tick.

Alass poor Knave; certo, I thought thou hadst been some∣what uncivil with me, I profess I did;

Pet.

Who I Sir, uncivil?—I abuse my Patrone?—I that have al∣most made my self a Pimp to serve you?

Tick.

Teze teze, honest Barberacho! no, no, no, all's well, all's well:—but hark y'—you will be discreet and secret in this business now, and above all things conceal the knowledge of this Gentlewoman from Sir Signall and Mr. Galliard.

Pet.

The Rack Signior, the Rack shall not extort it.

Tick.

Hold thy hand—there's somewhat for thee,

[gives him money.

but shall I Rogue—shall I see her to night?——

Pet.

To night Sir, meet me in the Piatza D'hispagnia, about 10 a Clock,—I'le meet you there,—but 'tis sit Signior—that I should provide a Collation,—'tis the Custom here Sir.——

Tick.

Well, well, what will it come to,—here's an Angel—

Pet.

Whe Sir 'twill come to—about—for you wou'd do't han∣somely—some twenty Crowns.—

Tick.

How man, twenty Crowns?

Pet.

Ay Signior, thereabouts.

Tick.

Twenty Crowns—Whe 'tis a Sum, a Portion, a Revenue.

Pet.

Alass Signior, 'tis nothing with her,—she'le look it out in an hour,—ah such an Eye! so sparkling, with an Amorous twire—thus Sir—then she'le kiss it out in a moment,—such a Lip, so red, so round, and so plump, so soft, and so—

Tick.

Why has she, has she, Sirrah—hah—here, here, prethee take Money, here, and make no words on't—go, go your way, go—but to entertain Sir Signall with other matter, pray send his Masters to him; if thou canst help him to Masters, and me to Mistresses, thou shalt be the good Genius of us both: but see where he comes.—

Enter Sir Signall.

Sir Sig.

Hah! Sigmor Illustrissimo Barberacho, let me hugg thee my little Miphistophiloucho—de yee see here, how fine your Brokering Jew has made me, Segnior Rabbi Manaseth—Ben-Nebiton, and so sorth; hah—View me round——

[turns round.

Tick.

I profess 'tis as sit as if it had been made for you.

Sir Sig.

Made for me—Whe Sir, he swore to me by the old Law, that 'twas never worn but once, and that but by one high-German Prince—I have sorgot forgot his name—for the Devil can never remem∣ber these damn'd Hogan-Mogan Titles.

[a fart.

Tick.

No matter, Sir.

Sir Sig.

Ay, but I shou'd be loth to be in any mans clothes, were he never so high a German-Prince, except I knew his name tho.

Tick.

Sir, I hold his Name unnecessary to be remembred, so long as 'twas a Princely penniworth.—Barberacho get you gone, and send the Masters.

[Ex. Petro.

Sir Sig.

Why how now Governour! how now Signior Tickletext! prethee how cam'st thou so transmograsi'd, ha? whe thou look'st like any new-fledg'd Cupid.

Tick.

Do I, away you flatter, Do I?

Sir Sig.

As I hope to breathe, your face shines through your pow∣der'd hairs like you know what on a barn-door, in a frosty morning.

Tick.

What a filthy comparison's there for a man of my coat.

Sir Sig.

What, angry—Corpo di me, I meant no harm,—Come, shall's to a Bonar•…•…ba, where thou shalt part with thy pusilage, and that of thy beard together.

Tick.

How mean you Sir, a Curtizan, and a Romish Curtizan?

Sir Sig.

Now my Tuter's up, ha ha ha,—and ever is when one names a whore; be pacifi'd man, be pacifi'd, I know thou hat'st 'em worse then beads or holy-water.

Tick.

Away you are such another Knight—but leave this Naughty discourse, and prepare for your Fencing and Civility-Masters, who are coming,

Sir Sig.

Ay, when Governour, when; oh how I long for my Civili∣ty-Master, that I may learn to out-complement all the dull Knights and Squires in Kent, with a Servitore Hulichimo—No signiora Bellissima, base le Mane, de vos signiora scusamia Illustrissimo, caspeto de Bacco, and so I'le run on, hah Governor, hah! won't this be pure?

Tick.

Notably Ingenious, I profess!

Sir Sig.

Well I'le send my Staffiera for him incontinente.—he, Jack—a—Cazo, what a Damn'd English name is Jack? let me see—I will call him—Giovanni, which is as much as to say John!—he Gio∣vanni.

[Enter Jack.

Tick.

Sir, by your favour his English Protestant-Name is John Pep∣per; and I'le call him by ne're a Popish name in Christiandom.

Sir Sig.

I'le call my own man Sir, by what name I please Sir; and let me tell you Reverend Mr. Tickletext, I scorn to be serv'd by any man who's name has not an Acho, or an Oucho, or some Italliano at the end on't—therefore Giovanni Peperacho is the name by which you shall be distinguisht and dignify'd hereafter.

Tick.

Sir Signall, Sir Signall, let me tell you, that to call a man out of his name is unwarantable, for Peter is call'd Peter, and John, John, and I'le not see the poor fellow wrong'd of his name for nere a Giovan∣ni in Rome.

Sir Sig.

Sir I tell you that one Itallian Name is worth any two En∣glish names in Europe, and I'le be judg'd by my Civility-Master.

Tick.

Who shall end the dispute, if he be of my Opinion.

Sir Sig

Multo vollentiero, which is as much as to say, with all my heart.

Jack.

But Sir, my Grandmother wou'd never own me if I should change the cursen name she gave me with her own hands, an't please your Worship.

Sir Sig.

He Bestia! I'le have no more of your Worship, firrah, that old English Sir Reverence, let me have you call me Signior Illustrissimo, or Patrona Mea.—or—

Tick.

I, that I like well enough now:—but hold, sure this is one of your Masters.

Enter Petro drest like a French Fencing Master.

Pet.

Signior Barberacho has sent me to teach you de Art of Fencing.

Sir Sig.

Illustrissimo Signior Monsicur, I am the Person who am to learn.

Tick.

Stay Sir stay,—let me ask him some few questions first, for Sir I have play'd at Back-Sword and cou'd have handled ye a weapon as well as any man of my time in the University.

Sir Sig.

Say you so Mr. Tickletext, and I'faith you shall have about with him.

[Tick. Gravely goes to Petro.

Tick.

Hum—hum—Mr. Monsieur—pray what are the Guards that you like best?

Pet.

Monsieur, eder de Quart or de Terse, dey be both French and Itallian; den for your Parades, degagements, your advancements, your Eloynements, and Retierments: dey be de same;

Tick.

Cart and Horse, what new found inventions and words have we here,—Sir I wou'd know, whether you like St. Georges Guard or not.

Pet.

Alon—Monsieur, Mette vous en Guard! take de Flurette.

Sir Sig.

Nay saith and troth Governor thou shat have a Rubbers with him.

[Tick. Smiling refuses.

Tick.

Nay certo Sir Signal,—and yet you shall prevail;—well Sir. come your ways?

[Takes the fluret.

Pet.

Set your right foot forward, turn up your hand so—dat be de Quart—Now turn it dus—and dat be de Terse.

Tick.

Hocus, Pocus, Hicksius, Doxius—here be de Cart and here be de Horse—why what's all this for, hah Sir—and where's your guard all this while?

Sir Sig.

Ay Sir where's your Guard Sir, as my Governor says, Sir, hah?

Tick.

Come, come, Sir, I must instruct you I see—Come your ways Sir.—

Pet.

A Tande a Tande non pew,—trust de right hand and de right leg forward together.—

Tick.

I marry Sir, that's a good one indeed! what shall become of my head then Sir, what Guard have I left for that good Mr. Monsieur. hah?

Pet.

Ah Morblew, is not dis for every ting?

Tick.

No marry is it not Sir, St. Georges Guard is the best for your head whilst you live,——as thus Sir.—

Pet.

Dat Sir, ha ha—dat be Guard for de Back-Sword.

Tick.

Back-sword Sir, yes, Back-sword, what should it be else.

Pet.

And dis be de Single-Rapier.

Tick.

Single-Rapier with a vengeance, there's a weapon for a Gentleman indeed; is all this stir about Single-Rapier?

Pet.

Single-Rapier! What will you have for de Gentleman, de Cudgell for de Gentleman?

Tick.

No Sir, but I wou'd have it for de Rascally French-man who comes to abuse persons of Quality with Paltry Single-Rapier.—Single Rapier! Come Sir, come,—put your self in your Cart and your Horse as you call it, and I'le shew you the difference.

Undresses himself till he appears in a Ridiculous Posture.

Pet.

Ah Monsieur me sall run you two three times through de body, and den you break a me head, what care I for dat:—Pox on his ig∣norance!

[Aside.

Tick.

Oh ho Sir, do your worst Sir, do your worst Sir.

They put themselves into several Guards, and Tick. beats Pet. about the Stage—Enter Gall. Fill. and Jul.

Pet.

Ah Monsieur, Monsieur, will you kill a me?

Tick.

Ah Monsieur where be your Carts now and your Horse, Mr. Monsieur, hah!—and your Single-Rapier Mr. Monsieur hah!—

Gall.

Why how now Mr. Tickletext, what mortal wars are these? Ajax and Ulisses contending for Achillis his Armour?

Pet.

If I be not reveng'd on him, hang me:

[Aside.

Sir Sig.

Ay, why who the Devil wou'd have taken my Governor for so tall a man of hands, but Corpo de me Mr. Galliard, I have not seen his Fellow.

Tick.

Ah Sir, time was, I wou'd have play'd ye a Match at Cudgells with e're a Sophister in the Colledge, but verily I have forgotten it, but here's an impudent French-man that wou'd have past Single-Ra∣pier upon us.

Gall.

How, nay a my word then he deserv'd to be chastis'd sor't.——but now all's at peace again; Pray know my kinsman, Sir Harry Fillamour.

Sir Sig.

Yo baco les manos, Signior Illustrissimo Cavaliero,—and yours Signiors who are Multo bien Venito;

Tick.

Oh Lord Sir, you take me Sir—in such a posture Sir—as I protest I have not been seen in this many years.

[Dressing himself whilst he talks.

Fill.

Exercise is good for health Sir.

Gall.

Sir Signal, Yo•…•… are grown a perfect Itallian? Well Mr. Tickle∣text you will carry him home a most accomplish't Gentleman I see!

Tick.

Hum, verily Sir though I say it, for a man that never travell'd before, I think I have done reasonably well;—I'le tell you Sir—it was by my directions and advice, that he brought over with him,—two English knives, a thousand of English pins, four pair of Jersey stockings, and as many pair of B•…•…ck-skin Gloves.

Sir Sig.

Ay Sir, for good Gloves you know are very scarce comodi∣ties in this Country.

Jul.

Here Sir at Rome, as you say, above all other places.

Tick.

Certo meer hedging-Gloves Sir, and the clouterlest seams.—

Fill.

Very right Sir,—and now he talks of Rome,—Pray Sir give me your opinion of the place?—are there not Noble buildings here? rare statues, and admirable Fountains?

Tick.

Your buildings are pretty buildings, but not comparable to our University-buildings; your Fountains I confess are pretty Springs,—and your statues reasonably well carv'd—but Sir, they are so ancient they are of no vallue! then your Churches are the worst that ever I saw—that ever I saw.

Gall.

How Sir, the Churches, why I thought Rome had been famous throughout all Europe for fine Churches.

Fill.

What think you of St. Peters Church Sir, Is it not a glorious structure?

Tick.

St. Peters Church Sir, you may as well call it St. Peters Hall Sir; it has neither Pew, Pullpit, Desk, Steeple, nor Ring of Bells, and call you this a Church Sir? no Sir, I'le say that for little England, and a fig for't, for Churches, easy •…•…ulpits

[Sir Sig. speaks, and sleeping Pews,]

they are as well order'd as any Churches in Christiandom: and •…•…er Rings of Bells Sir, I'am sure were never heard.

Jul.

Oh Sir there's much in what you say.

Fill.

But then Sir, your Rich Altars, and excellent Pictures of the greatest Masters of the World, your delicate Musick, and Voices, make some amends for the other wants.

Tick.

How Sir! tell me of your Rich Altars, your guegaws and trin∣kets, and Popish Foperies! with a deal of sing-song—when I say give me Sir five hundred close changes rung by a set of good Ringers, and I'le not exchange 'em for all the Anthens in Europe: and for the Pi∣ctures Sir, they are superstition, Idolatrous, and flat Popery.

Fill.

I'le convince you of that errour that perswades you harmless Pictures are Idolatrous.

Tick.

How Sir, how Sir, convince me, talk to me of being convinc't and that in favour of Popery; No Sir, by your favour I shall not be convinc't, convinc't quoth a—No Sir far you well an you be for con∣vincing, come away Sir Signall, far you well Sir, far you well—con∣vin'ct.

[goes out.

Sir Sig.

Ha, ha, ha, so now is my Governor gone in a Fustian-fume, well, he is ever thus when one talks of whoring and Religion, but come Sir walk in, and I'le undertake my Tutor shall beg your pardon and renoun•…•…e his English ill-bred opinion; Nay, his English Churches too—all but his own Vicaridge.

Fill.

I have better diversion Sir I thank you—come Julio, are you for a walk in the Garden of Medices Villa, 'tis hard by?—

Jul.

I'le wait on you—

[Ex. Fill. and Julio.

Sir Sig.

How in the Garden of Medices Villa—but harkey Galliard, will the Ladies be there, the Curtizans! the bona roba's, the inamora∣ta's, and the Bell ingrato's, hah?

Gall.

Oh doubtless Sir;

[Ex. Gall.

Sir Sig.

I'le ene bring my Governor thither to beg his Pardon, on purpose to get an Opportunity to see the fine Women; it may be I may get a sight of my new Mistress, Dona Silvianetta whom Petro is to bring me acquainted with.

[Exeunt.