SCENE II.
BUt is the Bride-chamber drest up, and the bed made as it ought to be?
As for the making, 'tis as it use to be, only the Vel∣vet Furniture.
As it use to be? oh ignorance! I see these young wenches are not arriv'd yet to bare imagination: Well, I must order it my self, I see that.
Why Olinda, I hope they will not go just to bed upon their marrying without some signs of a wedding, as Fidles and Dancing, and so forth.
Good Lord, what joys you have found out for the first night of a young Bride and Bridegroom. Fidles and Dancing, ha, ha, ha! they'l be much merryer by themselves that Fidles and Dancing can make them, you fool.
Bless me! what is't I see?
Why? what the Divel means she? Look about me Gload, and see what I have that's so terrible.
Oh, I have no power to stir, it is a sprite.
What does she mean now Gload?
She desires to be satisfi'd whether we be flesh and blood, Sir, I believe.
Dost see nothing that's divel-wise about me?
No indeed, Sir, not I.
Why then the wench is tippled, that's all, a small ••ult.
In the name of goodness, Sir, what are you?
I, I, Sir, 'tis that she desires to know.
Who are you, Sir?
Why who should I be but he that's to be your Master anon?
Yes, who should he be but Myn heer Haunce Van Ezel?
What, did you come in at the door?
Yes marry did I, what do you think I creep in like a •apland witch through the key holes?
Nay, nay, this cannot be the Bridegroom.
No, for 'tis but a moment since we left him, you know in my Ladies Chamber.
Very drunk by this good light.
And therefore it cannot be My••heer Haunce.
The Priest has yet scarce done his office, who is mar∣rying him above to my Lady.
Salerimente, here's brave doing, to marry me, and never give me notice; or thou art damnable drunk, or very mad.
Yes, and I am married to you too, am I not?
You? we know neither of you.
Ha, ha ha, here's a turn for you.
Why, Olinda, Dorice, Olinda, where be these mad Girls? 'tis almost night, and nothing in order. Why what now? Who's here?
So the old man's possest too—Why what a Divel ails you, Sir?
From whence come you, Sir? and what are you?
Gload, let's be gone, for we shall be transmigra•ed into some strange shapes anon, for all the house is inchanted. Who am I, quoth ye? before I came you all knew me; and now you are very well acquainted with me, you have for∣got me.
If you be my son Haunce, how▪ came you here?
If I be your son Haunce? where should I be else?
Above with your Wife, not below amongst the Maids.
What wife? what wife? ha, ha, ha, do not pro∣voke me, lest I take you a slap in the face, I tell you that now.
Oh I find by his humour this is he, and I am finely cheated and abus'd. I'l up and know the truth.
And so will I.
Why, but Mistress Olinda, you have not indeed forgot me, have you?
For my lover I have, but perhaps I may call you to mind as my servant hereafter.
Since you'r so proud and so fickle, you shall stand here∣after as a Cipher with me: and I'l begin upon a new account with this pretty Maid, what say you forsooth?
I am willing enough to get a husband as young as I am.
Why, that's well said, give your hand upon the bar∣gain —God ha' mercy with all my heart i'fais.
Oh I am cheated, undone, abus'd.
How, Sir, and where?
Nay, I know not how, or where; but so I am; and when I find it, I'l turn you all out of doors. Who are you, Sir? quickly tell me.
If you be in such haste, take the shortest account▪ I am your son.
I mean, Sir, what's your name, and which of you is Haunce van Ezel?
I, which of us is Haunce van Ezel, tell us that, Sir; we shall handle ye, i' faith, now—
He, Sir, can best inform you.
Who, I! I know no more than the great Turk, not I, which of us is me; my hat, my feather; my sute, and my Garniture all over faith now; and I believe this is me, for I'l trust my eyes before any other sense about me. What sayst thou now Gload? guess which of us is thy own natural Master now if thou canst.
Which, Sir?—why—let me see—let me see,
Come, come, the cheat is plain, and I'l not be fob'd off, therefore tell me who you are, Sir.
One that was very unwilling to have put this trick Page 95 upon you, if I could have perswaded Euphemia to have been kind on any other terms, but nothing would down with her but Matrimony.
How long have you known her?
Faith, Sir, too long by at least an hour.
I say again what are you, Sir?
A man I am, and they call me Alonzo.
How! I hope not the great fighting Colonel, whom my son serv'd as a Voluntier in Fland•rs.
Even he, Sir.
Worse and worse, I shall grow mad, to think that in spight of all my care, Euphemia should marry with so noto∣rious a man of war.
How! is this Alonzo, and am I cozen'd? pray tell me truly, are you not me indeed?
All over, Sir, only the inside a little less fool.
So here's fine jugling—are not you a rare Lady, hah?—
I assure you, Sir, if this man had not past for you, I had never had him.
Had him! O you are a flattering thing, I durst ha' sworn you could no more ha' been without me, than a Barbers▪ Shop without a Fiddle, so I did: Oh what a damnable voy∣age have I back again without a wife too.—
If that be all, we'l get you one before you go: that shall be my care.
A pox of your care; well, I will get my self most soundly drunk to night, to be reveng'd of these two damna∣ble Dons. Come Gload, let us about something in order to't.
Pray, Sir, be perswaded, he's worth your owning.
Tell not me of •wning: what fortune has he?
His Horse and Arms, the favour of his Prince and his pay.
His Horse and Arms I wholly dislike as impliments of war, and that same Princely favour, as you call it, will buy no Lands, and his Pay he shall have when he can get it.
But, Sir, his coming to Madrid was to take possessi∣on of a place the Prince has promis'd him.
Has promis'd him? what! I shall marry my Daughter to the promises of ere a Prince in Christendom, shall I? No, no; promises, quoth ye?
Well, Sir, will this satisfie you?
If it should not, let us consider what next to do.
No consideration Euphemia; not so much as that we are married, lest it lesse• our joys.
12000 Crowns a year!—Sir, I cry you mercy, and wish you joy with my Daughter▪
So his courage will down with him now.
To satisfie you farther, Sir, read this.
And now Euphemia prepare your self to receive some gallant friends of mine, whom you must be acquainted with, and who design to make a merry night on't.
A whole night Alonzo?
By no means Euphemia, for the first too, which if the thoughts of its being part of my duty do not hinder, will be pleasant enough to me.
So considerable an office at Court too!—Let me imbrace you, Sir; and tell you how happy I am in so brave a Son-in-law.
With that assurance, Sir, I'l take a more than ordi∣nary freedom with you, and teach Euphemia a franker way of living, than what a native Spaniard would have allow'd her.
She shall be what sort of wife you'l have her.
What Musi•k's that?
It waits upon some Ladies and Gentlemen who ask for you, Sir.
Wait them in, they are those f•iends of mine I told you off.
Well, the Divel's in't if we shall not appear ridiculous enough, hah Gload?
I, Sir, the more ridiculous the better.
I was always of that mind.—Ha, hay Boys, who be all these Dons and Donna's?—Harkye Lovis, I hope the Wife you promis'd me is amongst these fair Ladies, for so I guess they are both, fair and Ladies.
You guess right, Sir.
Now Ladies and Gentlewomen command your Mu∣sick, and do what likes you best.
Here's the Lady I recommend to you, take her, Sir, be thankful.
This is the fool that I am to manage.
And this my lott.
There is within a young Father ready to joyn your hands: take this opportunity, and make sure of a Wife.
I warrant you, Sir.
Your Mother, Sir, whom I found more dead than living for the loss of your Sister, was very near dying out∣right with joy to hear of your arrival, and most impatiently expects you.
And are we all forgiven Pedro?
Yes, you and I are like to be fellow Servants together again, Dormida.
And fellow Lovers too I hope, Pedro.
The Divel's in't if age have not allai'd flames of all sorts in thee: but if you contribute to my allowance—
Thou knowst I could never keep any thing from thee Pedro.
We'l wait on you, Sir.
Hold, hold, and give me joy too, for I am Married, if she has not mistaken her man again and I my woman.
No, you are the man I look for, and I no cheat, having all about me that you look for too, but Money.
How Olinda!
Yes indeed, Sir, I serv'd my Lady first, and then thought it no offence to take the reward due to that service.
Here's a Spanish trick for you now, to marry a Wife before one sees her.
What Dorice Married too?
After your example, Madam.
Yes indeed, forsooth, and I have made bold too af∣ter the example of my Master.
Now do they all expect I should be dissatisfied; but, Gentlemen, in sign and token that I am not, I'l have one more merry frisk before we part, 'tis a witty wench; faith and troth after a month 'tis all one whose who; therefore come on Gload.
Monsieur Haunce, I see you are a man of Gallantry. Come let us in, I know every man here desires to make this night his own, and sacrifice it to pleasure.
