All the histories and novels written by the late ingenious Mrs. Behn entire in one volume : together with the history of the life and memoirs of Mrs. Behn never before printed / by one of the fair sex ; intermix'd with pleasant love-letters that pass'd betwixt her and Minheer Van Brun, a Dutch merchant, with her character of the countrey and lover : and her love-letters to a gentleman in England.

THE HISTORY OF THE LIFE AND MEMOIRS OF Mrs. BEHN.

Written by one of the Fair Sex.

MY intimate Acquaintance with the admirable Astrea, gave me, natu∣rally, a very great Esteem for her; for it both freed me from that Folly of my Sex, of envying or slighting Excellencies I cou'd not obtain; and inspir'd me with a no∣ble Fire to celebrate that Woman, who was an Honour and Glory to our Sex; and this Re∣printing her incomparable Novels, presented me with a lucky Occasion of exerting that De∣sire into Action.

She was a Gentlewoman, by Birth, of a good Family in the City of Canterbury, in Kent; her paternal Name was Johnson, whose Relation to the Lord Willoughby, drew him for the ad∣vantageous Post of Lieutenant-General of many Isles, besides the Continent of Surinam, from his quiet Retreat at Canterbury, to run the hazar∣dous Voyage of the West-Indies; with him he took his chief Riches, his Wife and Children; and in that Number Afra, his promising Dar∣ling, our future Heroine, and admir'd Astrea; who, ev'n in the first Bud of Infancy, discover'd such early Hopes of her riper Years, that she was equally her Parents Joy and Fears; for they too often mistrust the Loss of a Child, whose Wit and Understanding outstrip its Years, as too great a Blessing to be long enjoy'd. Whether that Fear proceed from Superstition, or Diffidence of our present Happiness, I shall not determine; but must pursue my Discourse, with assuring you, none had greater Fears of that Nature, or greater Cause for 'em; for, besides the Vivacity and Wit of her Conversa∣tion, at the first Use almost of Reason in Dis∣course, she wou'd write the prettiest, soft-en∣gaging Verses in the World. Thus qualify'd, she accompany'd her Parents in their long Voy∣age to Surinam, leaving behind her the Sighs and Tears of all her Friends, and breaking Hearts of her Lovers, that sigh'd to possess, what was scarce yet arriv'd to a Capacity of easing their Pain, if she had been willing. But as she was Mistress of uncommon Charms of Body, as well as Mind, she gave infinite and ra∣ging Desires, before she cou'd know the least her self.

Her Father liv'd not to see that Land flow∣ing with Milk and Honey; that Paradise, which she so admirably describes in Oroonoko; where you may also find what Adventures happen'd to her in that Country. The Misfortunes of that Prince had been unknown to us, if the Divine Astrea had not been there, and his Sufferings had wanted that Satisfaction which her Pen has given 'em in the Immortality of his Vertues, and Constancy; the very Memory of which, move a generous Pity in all, and a Contempt of the brutal Actors in that unfortunate Tragedy-Here I can add nothing to what she has given the World already, but a Vindication of her from some unjust Aspersions I find, are insinua∣ted about this Town in Relation to that Prince. I knew her intimately well; and I believe she wou'd not have conceal'd any Love-Affair from me, being one of her own Sex, whose Friend∣ship and Secrecy she had experienc'd; which makes me assure the World, there was no Af∣fair between that Prince and Astrea, but what the whole Plantation were Witnesses of: A ge∣nerous Value for his uncommon Vertues, which every one that but hears 'em, finds in himself; and his Presence gave her no more. Beside, his Heart was too violently set on the everlasting Charms of his Imoinda, to be shook with those more faint (in his Eye) of a white Beauty; and Astrea's Relations, there present, had too watchful an Eye over her to permit the Frailty of her Youth, if that had been powerful enough. As this is false, so are the Consequences of it too; for the Lord, her Father's Friend, that was not then arriv'd, perish'd in a Hurricane,

without having it in his Power to resent it. Nor had his Resentments been any thing to her, who only waited the Arrival of the next Ships, to convey her back to her desir'd England: Where she soon after, to her Satisfaction, ar∣riv'd, and gave King Charles the Second so plea∣sant and rational an Account of his Affairs there, and particularly of the Misfortunes of Oroonoko, that he desir'd her to deliver them publickly to the World; and satisfy'd of her Abilities in the Management of Business, and the Fidelity of our Heroine to his Interest: After she was marry'd to Mr. Behn, a Merchant of this City, tho' of Dutch Extraction, he committed to her Secrecy, and Conduct, Affairs of the highest Importance in the Dutch War; which obli∣ging her to stay at Antwerp, presented her with The Adventures of Prince Tarquin, and his false wicked Fair One Miranda: The full Ac∣count of which, you will find admirably writ in the following Volume.

But I must not omit entirely some other Ad∣ventures, that happen'd to her during this Ne∣gotiation, tho' I cannot give so just and large a Representation of them as I willingly wou'd.

I have told you, that as her Mind, so her Body was adorn'd with all the Advantages of our Sex. Wit, Beauty, and Judgment, seldom meet in one, especially in Woman (you may allow this from a Woman) but in her they were eminent; and this made her turn all the Advantages each gave her to the Interest she had devoted her self to serve: And whereas the Beauty of the Face is that which generally takes with Mankind, so it gives 'em most commonly

an Assurance, and Security from Designs; for they suppose that a beautiful Woman, as she is made for the Pleasure of others, so chiefly minds her own; and in that they are not much mistaken, for they pursue the same Course with the rest of the World, Pleasure; but then 'tis as various as their Tempers, and what they generally imagine may have the least share in many of them. The Event, I'm sure, shew'd that, in Astrea (at this time at least) the Plea∣sures of Love had not the Predominance, when she diverted the Hopes, which the Vanity of a Dutch Merchant of great Interest and Authority in Holland, had entertain'd of a successful Passion, to the Service of her Prince, and his own shameful Disappointment.

They are mistaken who imagine that a Dutch∣man can't love; for tho' they are generally more phlegmatick, than other Men, yet it some∣times happens, that Love does penetrate their Lump, and dispense an enlivening Fire, that destroys its graver, and cooler Considerations; at least it once prov'd so on this Spark, whom we must call by the Name of Vander Albert, of Ʋtrecht.

Antwerp is a City of great Opulence and Com∣pass, and before the Separation of the Seven Provinces from the other Ten, the Emporium of Flanders, and is yet a Town of considerable Trade and Resort; 'tis in the Spanish Nether∣lands, and yet near Neighbour to the Domi∣nions of the States. For which Reason, our Astrea chose it for the Place of her abode, where she might with the greater Ease hear from, and meet with Vander Albert; who be∣fore

the War, in her Husband's time, had been in love with her in England, and on which she grounded the Success of her Negotiation. Albert, as soon as he knew of her Arrival at Ant∣werp, and the publick Posts he was in wou'd give him Leave, made a short Voyage to meet her, with all the Love his Nature was capable of, (and which by chance was much, and more refin'd than most of his Countrymen, at least according to our common Notions of 'em,) and after a Repetition of all his former Pro∣fessions for her Service, press'd her extreamly to let him by some signal Means, give undenia∣ble Proofs of the Vehemence and Sincerity of his Passion; for which he wou'd ask no Reward, till he had by long and faithful Services con∣vinc'd her that he deserv'd it.

This Proposal was so reasonable, and so ex∣treamly suitable to her present Aim in the Ser∣vice of her Country, that she accepted it; and having the Reward in her own Power, as well as the Judgment of his Deserts, she put him to that use, which made her very serviceable to the King. I shall only instance one piece of In∣telligence, which might have sav'd the Nation a great deal of Money and Disgrace, had Cre∣dit been given to it. The latter end of the Year 1666. Albert sent her Word by a special Messenger that he wou'd be with her at a Day appointed, which nothing cou'd have oblig'd him to, but his Engagements to her; but his Affairs requiring his immediate Return into Holland, he had sent that Express to get her to be alone, and in the way those few Minutes he cou'd stay with her.

The time comes: Astrea is punctual to the Ap∣pointment, and Albert informs her, that Cor∣nelius de Wit, who with the rest of that Family, had an implacable Hatred to the English Na∣tion, and the House of Orange, that was so nearly related to it, had with d' Ruyter pro∣pos'd to the States, to sail up the River of Thames, and destroy the English Ships in their Harbours; since, by the Proposal of a Peace, the King of England had shewn so little of the Politician, or was so rul'd by evil Counsellors, that he never thought of treating with Sword in Hand; but to save the Expence of fitting out a Fleet, had expos'd so considerable a part of it to the Resentment of the Enemy. This Proposal of de Wit, concurring with the Advice which the Dutch Partisans in England had given 'em, was well receiv'd, and you may depend on it, my Charming Astrea, that it will be put in Execution (said Albert) for I can further as∣sure you, that we have that good Correspon∣dence with some Ministers about the King, that being ensur'd from all Opposition, we look on it as a thing of neither Danger nor Difficulty.

When Albert had discover'd a Secret of this Importance, and with all those Marks of a sin∣cere Relation of Truth, Astrea cou'd not doubt but he had sufficient Grounds for what he had told her, and scarce allow'd that little time that Albert staid to the Civilities due for a Service of that mighty Consequence; and this Interview was no sooner ended, but she got ready her Dispatches for England.

But all the particular Circumstances she gave, nor the Consequence of it, if it should be ef∣fected,

cou'd gain Credit enough to her Intelli∣gence, to make any tolerable Preparations against it: And all the Encouragement she met with, was to be laugh'd at by the Minister she wrote to; and her Letter shew'd, by way of Contempt, to some who ought not to have been let into the Secret, and so bandy'd about, till it came to the Ears of a particular Friend of hers, who gave her an Account of what Re∣ward she was to expect for her Service, since that was so little valu'd; and desir'd her there∣fore to lay aside her politick Negotiation, and divert her Friends with some pleasant Adven∣tures of Antwerp, either as to her Lovers, or those of any other Lady of her Acquaintance; that in this she wou'd be more successful than in her Pretences of State, since here she wou'd not fail of pleasing those she writ to.

Astrea vex'd at this Letter, and the Treat∣ment she had met with, for a Service the An∣cients wou'd have decreed her a Triumph, gave over all sollicitous Thought of Business, and resolv'd to comply with her Friends Re∣quest in what she wou'd take so much Pleasure in the Narration of. But soon after she had the Satisfaction to see her incredulous Corre∣spondents sufficiently punished for neglecting her Advice, and by their Mismanagement, find e'ery particular thing come to pass that she had forewarn'd 'em of. Nay, and some powerful Men fall under the Censures of the People for the Misfortunes, their Pride, Folly, or private Designs had brought upon them. But to re∣turn from this short Excursion, to her Letter.

LETTER.

My Dear Friend,

YOur Remarks upon my politick Capacity, tho' they are sharp, touch me not, but recoil on those that have not made use of the Advantages they might have drawn from thence; and are doubly to blame. First in sending a Person, in whose Ability, Sense, and Veracity, they cou'd not confide; and next, not to un∣derstand when a Person indifferent tells 'em a probable Story, and which if it come to pass, wou'd sufficiently punish their Incredulity; and which if followed, wou'd have put 'em on their Guard against a vigilant and industrious Foe, who watch'd e'ery Opportunity of returning the several Repulses, and Damages they had met with of late from them. But I have often ob∣serv'd your busie young Statesmen, so very opi∣nionated of their own Designs, that they are so far from encouraging those of another, if good, that they cannot forgive their Proposal, and sacrifice a publick Good to their particular Pride.

But I have let these Idle Reflections (for such must all be that regard our wretched Statesmen) divert me from a more agreeable Relation: To comply therefore with your Request, in its full Extent, I shall give you an Account of both my own Adventures, and those of a Lady of my Acquaintance; and with her I'll begin, for 'tis but civil to give place to a Stranger. I shall convey her to your Knowledge by the Name of

Lucilla. She is of a gay, airy Disposition, middle-siz'd, fine black Eyes, long flowing dark Hair. Nature has drawn her Eye-brows, which are dark, much finer than Art usually does those of the affected Beauties of our Ac∣quaintance; her Mouth is small, her Lips plump, ruddy, and fresh, I won't say moist; her Hand small; Fingers long and taper, and her Shape better than is usual among the Flemish Ladies: To this I must add, That her Wit is much above the common Rate.

With all these Accomplishments, you may imagine that she was not without her Admirers; among which Number, none came so near her Heart, as the eldest Son of Ramirez, an old sordid Miser, that loved his Money much above his Sons, or ev'n himself; which made the Al∣lowance he gave his Two Sons but very small, and not fit to enable them to make any tole∣rable Figure in the World. For the real Names of these two Brothers, I must give that of Mi∣guel and Lopez, and for the Grace of the Matter, add Don to 'em.

Don Miguel, and Don Lopez, I know not how they came by 'em, had Souls as brave and generous as that of their Fathers was wretched and base; they with Pain saw their many Advantages of a liberal Education their Fathers Covetousness robb'd 'em of; and by their natural Parts, and winning Behaviour, touched their Relations so nearly, that they long contributed to their Improvement, ev'n till now the Brothers were become two of the most accomplish'd and gallant Youths of the City; their Quality gave them Admittance

to the best Families, and their Accomplishments to the Hearts of the fairest Ladies: but few ever pass'd farther than the Confines of theirs; and the lighter touches of an Amoret was all that made them sigh, till they saw the incom∣parable Lucilla, and her fair Cousin, of whom not knowing her, I shall say nothing. Don Miguel, as gay as he was, and as insensible as he fansied himself, no sooner saw Lucilla, but he found the Difference betwixt the Force of her Eyes, and those of the rest of the Ladies of his Acquaintance: And as a Proof of it, he was not sooner touch'd with Love, than Jea∣lousie; for her Cousin sitting by her, he ob∣serv'd his Brother's Eyes often cast that way, and was very uneasie at it; and that Friendship that grew up with their Years, and increas'd as they grew, found now a sudden Check. I will not, like your Romance-Writers, give you an Account of all his private Reflections on this Occasion, nor the Conflict and Struggling betwixt his old Guest Friendship, and this new Intruder Love. It is enough to tell you, that assoon as Opportunity serv'd he took Care to put himself out of Pain, or at least to give himself a Certainty, whether his Brother was his Rival or not; and was not a little pleas'd, that Lucilla had only found the way to his Heart, while his Brother saw nothing so fair as her Cousin. Don Miguel and Don Lopez, as they were in Love, so they were too accom∣plish'd to be unsuccessful; and there remained no Obstacle to their Happiness, but their Fa∣ther's Avarice, which wou'd never be brought to any Reason, in allowing them what was fit

for Persons of their Rank. They coming therefore to a Consultation, what Measures to take to cure their Father of so ungenerous Di∣stemper of the Mind; and by that Means, ac∣complish what they both longed for more than Glory.

They found their Father's Avarice had not so engross'd his Soul, as to beat off all Sentiments of Religion; on the contrary, he was extreamly credulous of all the superstitious parts of religion, and particularly of all Narrations of Spectres, Witches, Apparitions, &c. they therefore con∣cluded to attack him on that side that cou'd make the least Defence. He constantly spent part of the Morning in telling his Money, and counting his Bags: His Sons therefore having procur'd a Pick-lock to his Closet, took Care to place in it a Figure that was very dreadful, so that the old Gentleman shou'd find him count∣ing his Bags and Money when he came in; which happen'd accordingly. He was not a little frighted, and hastily retir'd, nor came thither again in three or four Days, but on his next coming, he was extreamly surpriz'd, to find the Number of his Bags increas'd, which for some time had been lessen'd e'ery Morning, so that he concluded it was a Reward of his Ab∣stinence from a Sight that pleas'd him too much: Yet was so well pleas'd with this Increase, that he repeated his Visits for three or four Mor∣nings together, and found his Bags decrease on that. He was very much troubled in Mind, and consulting his Confessour on all that had happen'd, he assur'd him it cou'd be none but the Devil he had seen; and that he was

to fear the Consequence of taking Possession of any of the Money so left there by that evil Spirit, and it was much to be doubted whe∣ther he had not exchang'd the whole. So con∣cluding with some wholsome Advice against Avarice, he dismiss'd his Penitent, who again for some time forbore his Closet; and on his next Visit, finding all he had ever loss'd retur∣ned, and abundance more added, a Fit of Ava∣rice coming on him, he resolv'd to try if he cou'd out-wit the Devil; and by removing it from that Place, which he suppos'd taken Pos∣session of by the foul Fiend, secure both the Money and his own Peace of Mind. Accor∣dingly in the Night he digs a hole in the Gar∣den, and conveys all the Bags into it, and co∣vers them safely up. His Sons the next Day, coming to the Closet, and finding all removed, were not a little disappointed and troubl'd, to think how they shou'd at least recover that Money which was lent 'em by their Friends to carry on this Design. All the Difficulty lay in discovering where their Father had hid it, and to do that nothing occurr'd that wou'd hold Water, till Don Lopez concluded to make once more the Experiment of his Fear of Appari∣tions, against the next Night; therefore they prepared the Chamber for their Design, and invited some of their Friends, on purpose to make the old Gentleman drunk; which having effected, he was carefully carried to Bed, and three or four Statues, out of the Garden, con∣vey'd up into his Room, and placed on each side and corner of his Bed, with People behind 'em to flash and make lightning, to discover to

him these imaginary Spectres. All things being in this Order, a Mastiff Dog, with a great Iron Chain, was let into the Room, the ratling of which, in a little time, waken'd the old Gen∣tleman, who began to pray very heartily; but Fear still prevailing, as in Despair, made him think to get out of the Room, when he heard the Noise on the other side of the Room, the most distant from the Door. On his first Mo∣tion to rise, the Person behind the Image flash'd with his Lightning, and discover'd a white pale Ghost to the frighted Miser: So he started back into his Bed again, and thus he was serv'd on each side till in Despair, and rea∣dy to die with Fear, he cou'd scarce utter so much as one Prayer. Then he heard a Voice with a thousand Terrours and Threats, de∣mand him, he having taken the price of his Soul in the Money he had removed: The old Man replied, with a thousand Crosses to guard himself, That the Money was in such a place, and that he wou'd surrender not only that, but his own too, to be at ease. When they had thus got the Knowledge of the place where the Treasure was hid, they easily, in the Fear he was in, convey'd away the Statues, and left all things in Order, as if nothing had happen'd; and repairing to the Garden, found the Money, but took no more thence but what they had before put there.

The next Day, the old Gentleman sends for them to his Chamber, ill with the Fright, and lets 'em know, That he had thus long been in an Errour, in setting his Mind on hoarded Bags, which ought to be plac'd in Heav'n at his

Years; but having had various Warnings a∣gainst it, he now resolv'd a new Life, and in order to that, wou'd immediately settle his Affairs. So he divided his Estate equally be∣twixt them; and having found his own Sum of Money left, as he thought by the Devil, he gave a third part to charitable uses, and divided the other betwixt his Sons, and retir'd to a Monastery, where he soon made a very Reli∣gious End.

The Sons having, by these means, gain'd their Point, did not long deferr the Happiness for which they undertook this; and thus was my Friend Lucilla, and her Cousin, made the most fortunate of our Sex, if Love and Money cou'd make 'em so.

But I have been too long in this to add some pleasant Adventures of my own, which I must defer till the next Opportunity, having only room enough left to subscribe my self your Friend and Servant,

Astrea.

LETTER.

Dear Friend,

THO' our Courtiers will not allow me to do any great Matters with my Politicks, I'm sure you must grant, that I have done so with my Eyes, when I shall tell you I have made two Dutch-men in Love with me. Dutch-men, do you mind me; that have no Soul for any thing but Gain; that have no Pleasure,

but Interest or the Bottle; but in Affairs of Love, go to the most sacred part of it more brutally than the most sordid of their four-footed Brethren; nay, they are so far from the Warmth of Love, that through their Fleg∣matick Mass there is not Fire enough to give 'em a vigorous Appetite, so far are they from the fineness of a vehement Passion. Yet I, Sir, this very numerical Person your Friend, and humble Servant, have set two of 'em into a Blaze. Two of very different Ages (I was go∣ing to say Degrees too, but I remember there are no Degrees in Holland) Vander Albert, is about Thirty Two, of a hail Constitution, something more sprightly than the rest of his Country-men, and tho' infinitely fond of his Interest, and an irreconcilable Enemy to Mo∣narchy, has by the Force of Love been oblig'd to let me into some Secrets that might have done our King, and if not our Court, our Country no small Service. But I shall say no more of this Lover, till I see you, for some par∣ticular Reasons which you shall then likewise know. My other is about twice his Age, nay, and Bulk too, tho' Albert be not the most bar∣bary Shape you have seen. You must know him by the Name of Van Bruin, and was intro∣duc'd to me by Albert his Kinsman, and oblig'd by him to furnish me in his Absence with what Money, or other things I shou'd please to command, or have Occasion for, as long as he staid at Antwerp, where he was like to continue some time, about a Law Suit then depending. He had not visited me often, before I began to be sensible of the Influence of my Eyes, on this

old piece of worm-eaten Touch-wood: but he had not the Confidence (and that's much) to tell me he lov'd me, and Modesty, you know, is no common Fault of his Country-men: Tho' I rather impute it to a Love of himself, that he wou'd not run the Hazard of being turn'd into ridicule on so disproportion'd a Declaration; he often insinuated, that he knew a Man of Wealth and Substance, tho' stricken indeed in Years, and on that Account not so agreeable as a younger Man, that was passionately in love with me: Desir'd to know whether my Heart was so far engag'd, that his Friend shou'd not entertain any hopes. I reply'd, That I was sur∣priz'd to hear a Friend of Albert's, making an Interest in me for another, that if Love were a Passion I was any way sensible of, it cou'd ne∣ver be for an old Man, and much to that purpose. But all this wou'd not do, in a Day or Two I receiv'd this Eloquent Epistle from him; for he had heard Albert praise my Wit, and he thought, that what he writ to one so qualify'd, must be in an extraordinary Style, which I shall give you as near as I can, in our Language; and which I indeed was indebted to an Inter∣preter my self for, tho' 'twas writ in French, which I have some Knowledge of.

LETTER.

Most Transcendent Charmer,

I Have strove often to tell you the Tempests of my Heart, and with my own Mouth scale the Walls of your Affections, but terrified with the Strength of your Fortifications, I concluded to make more regular Approaches, and first attack you at a farther Distance, and try first what a Bombardment of Letters wou'd do; whether these Carcasses of Love, thrown into the Sconces of your Eyes, wou'd break into the midst of your Breast, beat down the Court of Guard of your Aversion, and blow up the Magazine of your Cruelty, that you might be brought to a Capitulation, and yield upon rea∣sonable Terms. Believe me, I love thee more than Money; for indeed thou art more beau∣tiful, than the Oar of Guinea, and I had rather discover thy terra incognita, than all the Sou∣thern incognita of America: Oh! thou art beautiful in every part, as a goodly Ship under sail from the Indies. Thy Hair is like her flow∣ing Pennons as she enters the Harbour, and thy Forehead bold and fair as her Prow; thy Eyes bright and terrible as her Guns, thy Nose like her Rudder, that steers my Desires, thy Mouth the well-wrought Mortar, whence the Grana∣do's of thy Tongue are shot into the Gun-room of my Heart, and shatter it to pieces; thy Teeth are the grappling Irons that fasten me to my Ruin, and of which I wou'd get clear in vain; thy Neck is curious and small, like the

very Top-mast Head, beneath which thy love∣ly Bosom spreads it self like the Main-sail be∣fore the Wind; thy Middle's taper as the Bolt-sprit, and thy Shape as slender and upright as the Main-mast; thy Back-parts like the gilded carv'd Stern, that jets over the Waters, and thy Belly, with the Perquisites thereunto be∣longing, the Hold of the Vessel, where all the rich Cargo lies under Hatches; thy Thighs, Legs, and Feet, the steady Keel that is ever under Water. Oh! that I cou'd once see thy Keel above Water! And is it not pity that so spruce a Ship shou'd be unman'd, shou'd lie in the Harbour for want of her Complement, for want of her Crew! Ah, let me be the Pilot to steer her by the Cape of good Hood, for the Indies of Love. But Oh! Fair English Woman! Thou art rather a Fireship gilded, and sum∣ptuous without, and driven before the Wind to set me on Fire; for thy Eyes indeed are like that, destructive, tho', like Brandy, bewitch∣ing; Alas! they have grappl'd my Heart, my Fore-castle's on fire, my Sails and Tackling are caught, my upper Decks are consum'd, and nothing but the Water of Despair keeps the very Hulk from the Combustion, so you have left it only in my Choice, to drown or burn. O! for Pity's sake, take some Pity, for thy Compassion is more desireable, than a strong Gale when we are got to the Wind-ward of a Sally-Man; your Eyes I say again, and again, like a Chain-shot, have brought the Main-mast of my Resolution by the Board, ••ut all the Rigging of my Discretion and Interest, blown up the Powder-Room of my Affections, and

shatter'd all the Hulk of my Bosom, so that with∣out the Planks of your Pity, I must inevitably sink to the Bottom. This is the deplorable Condition, Transcendent Beauty, of your

Undone Vassal, Van Bruin.

To this I return'd this following ridiculous Answer, which I insert, to give you a better Picture of my Lovers Intellects.

LETTER.

Extraordinary Sir,

I Receiv'd your Extraordinary Epistle, which has had extraordinary Effects, I assure you, and was not read without an extraordinary Pleasure. I never doubted the Zeal of your Country-men, in making new Discoveries; in fixing new Trades; in supplanting their Neigh∣bours; and in engrossing the wealth and Traffick of both the Indies; but I confess, I never ex∣pected so wise a Nation shou'd at last set out for the Island of Love; I thought that had been a Terra del Fuego in all their Charts, and avoid∣ed like Rocks and Quick-sands; nay, I shou'd assoon have suspected them guilty of becoming Apostles to the Samaoids, and of preaching the Gospel to the Laplanders, where there is no∣thing to be got, and for which Reason the

very Jesuits deny 'em Baptism; as of setting out for so unprofitable a Voyage as Love. Hark ye, good Sir, have you throughly consider'•• what you have done? Have you reflected on the sad Consequences of declaring your self a Lover; nay, and an old Lover too to a young Woman! To a Woman that wou'd expect all the Duties of Gallantry, ev'n from a young Ser∣vant; but great, and terrible Works of Super-erogation from an antiquated Admirer. Have you enough examin'd what Degrees of Gene∣rosity Love necessarily inspires? that Foe to In∣terest; that hereditary Enemy of your Coun∣try? Nay, have you thought whether by hold∣ing this Correspondence with Love, you may not be declar'd a Rebel, an Enemy to your Country, and be brought into Suspicion of greater Intelligence with the French, by enter∣taining their Gallantry and Love, than de Wit, by all his Intrigues with that Monarch? I con∣fess I tremble for you. Alas! alas! How de∣plorable a Spectacle wou'd it be to these Eyes, to see that agreeable Bulk dismember'd by the enrag'd Rabble, and Scollops of your Flesh sold by Fish-wives for Gelders and Duckatoons! have you maturely consider'd the evil Example you set your Neighbours, who may be influenc'd by a Person of your Port and Figure: And shou'd the Evil by this Means spread Holland, we're undone, for then there were some Dan∣ger of Honesty's spreading, and then good∣night the best Card in all your Hands for the winning the Game and Money of Europe! Lord, Sir, think, what a dreadful thing it is to be the Ruine of ones Country! but if publick Evils

don't affect you, have you set before the Eyes of your Understanding, the Charge of fitting out such a Vessel (as you have made me) for the Indies of Love; and I fear the Profits will never answer the Expence of the Voyage.

There are Ribbonds and Hoods for my Pen∣nons; Diamond Rings, Lockets, and Pear-Necklaces for my Guns of Offence and Defence; Silks, Holland, Lawn, Cambrick, &c. for Rigging; Gold and Silver Laces, Imbroideries and Fringes fore and aft for my Stern and for my Prow; rich Perfumes, Paint and Powder, for my Ammunition; Treats, rich Wines, ex∣pensive Collations, Gaming Money, Pin-Money, with a long Et caetera for my Cargo; and Balls, Masks, Plays, Walks, Airing in the Country, and a Coach and Six for my fair Wind.

You may see by my Concern for your Interest, and Person, that the Approaches you have made, have not been a little successful, and if you are but as furious a Warriour when you come to storm, as you are at a Bombardment, the Lord have Mercy upon me.

But to deal ingeniously with you, I doubt your Prowess in two or three particular Re∣trenchments, which I fear you'll hardly be able to gain. There is first your Age, a formidable Bastion you'll scarce carry; then your mighty Bulk will with the last Difficulties, be brought to treat with my Love; but what is yet more dreadful, your Treachery to Vander Albert, is a Fort that must prove impregnable; if any thing can be so to such a Pen and such a Head. But if you carry the Town by dint of Valour, I hope you'll allow me Quarter, and be as

merciful to me as you are stout, and then I shall not fail of being, Extraordinary Sir,

Your humble Servant, Astrea.

LETTER.

Magnanimous Heroine,

I Have receiv'd your Packet in answer to my Epistolary Advice-boat, which did lately and honestly remonstrate my present State. You give me hopes, that out of your Imperial Bounty, you will have me tugg'd home to the Harbour of your Good-Will, place me in the Dock of your Friendship, refit me for the O∣cean of your Love, and send me out a Cruising for the Service of your Pleasure: Which Thought exalts my Heart more than Punch, and makes me despise all Dangers of inter∣loping spight of the Joint-stock of Vander Al∣bert; for the Scars I shall receive in your War∣fare, will be more valu'd by me, than those I've got in my robust Youth, in the Heroick Combats of Snick or Snee; when with a furious and triumphant Rage, I have chopp'd off the Foreflap of my Antagonist's Shirt, and laid him Noseless flat on his Back. You seem tho' to make some Bones of two or three Scruples, about my Person and Age. You say I'm too bulky to be your Lover: Let not Errors mis∣guide

you, Child—Portliness is comely and graceful; and since Bulk is valu'd in all things else, why not in Man then? You value a great House more than a little one, an Elephant more than an Ox; a First Rate Ship more than a Frigat; a Castle more than a Fort, and the Ocean more than a Fish-pond; then why not Van Bruin more than Vander Albert. O! but you say I'm too old too—but that's more than you know you little Wag, you; and thereby hangs a Tale. I'm not green Wood indeed, and Sixty or Sixty Five has the Ad∣vantage of so many Years seasoning; in all things else too we value Age, Old Wine, Old Seamen, Old Soldiers, and Old Medals, Old Families, and why not then Old Van Bruin? But then you object my betraying my Friend—but that shews, that you are not so witty as you wou'd be thought—for is any Man so much my Friend, as I am to my self: I, that never part from my self as long as I live, as I may from Vander Albert, and shou'd I not then pre∣fer a Friend that will certainly always stick to me, to one that may desert me the next Moment; and here I shou'd be false to that dear Friend, to be true to Vander Albert. But what do you talk of Friendship, I'd sooner deny my Faith for you, than for a New Rich Japan Traffick. But Words are superfluous, when you parley, 'tis a Sign you will hearken to a Capitulation, and deliver up the Fort if you like the Terms; and to shew you that what you propos'd has not terrify'd me, I send you Cart-Blank to fill up your self—for adod, adod, you must be mine, and you shall

be mine; I'll win thee, and wear thee, with my old tough Vigour, you pretty little turly murly Rogue you, and I come this Evening to sign Articles, and put in a new Garrison, but ever remain

Your Deputy, and happy Van Bruin.

Tho' I had no need of sending an Answer to this, where he threatens me with a speedy Visit, yet the more to divert my self and my Company, I sent him this following Billet.

LETTER.

Most Magnanimous Hero,

YOU have made me extreamly proud of my self, to find I can come into a Competi∣tion with the only Cause and Effect of your National Valour Punch, and Snick or Snee: Nor am I less pleas'd, to find you so notable a Logician, for I love Reasoning with an infinite Passion, especially in a Lover; and it must be allow'd, that you have gain'd your Point in the Defence of your Bulk, and might for a farther Vindication have added, That Elephants have danc'd on the Ropes, which shews their Bulk destroy'd not their Activity, and by Conse∣quence—but a Word to the Wise—When the Sons of God went in to the Daugh∣ters

of Men, they begat a Race of Giants—well, I don't know, If our Planets shou'd hap∣pen to be in Conjunction, what strange things might come to pass, and what a wonderful Race we shou'd produce; but I'm satisfy'd, that betwixt the Gayety of the Mother, and the robust, portly, Activity of the Father, cou'd not be less than dancing Elephants. You have indeed, surprizingly, vanquish'd my Ob∣jection of your Age, and I shall take Care to use you like venerable Medals valuable for their Antiquity and Rust; tho' an old Lover look'd lately more like an old Gown, than old Gold, or an old Family, and fitter for my Maid than my self; or at least some decay'd Beauty, that had not Stock of Charms enough to purchase a young one. But you have convinc'd me of that Error too. Alas! I fear that deluding Tongue of your's will quite remove my Objection too of your Treachery to Vander Albert. Since you go on a National Principle, and ev'n bribe my Judgment with the Complement of sacrificing your Faith or Religion (which if it be your In∣terest, is very considerable in a Dutch-man to the Love of me. So that I defer Proposals of Articles, till our Plenipo's meet, and proceed re∣gularly on these Preliminaries, at the Place of Conference, which is agreed on all hands, to be the Abode of

Your most happy Astrea.

You may imagine, this Letter brought my Hogen Mogen Lover, with no little haste, to my Apartment, whither we'll now adjourn; for

'twou'd be impertinent to trouble you with any more of these foolish Letters, one or two may divert, as a Minute or two of a Coxcomb's Company, which on a longer Visit grows nau∣seous: But to give you all, 'twou'd make you pay too dear for so trifling a Pleasure. The other part of his Courtship consisting in odd Grimaces, ridiculous Postures, and antick Mo∣tions, cannot be so well describ'd to you, as to give you a true Image of 'em; so far at least, as to render 'em as diverting to you as they were for a while to me. But imagine to your self, an old, over-grown, unwieldy Dutch-man, playing awkerdly over all that he suppos'd wou'd make him look more agreeable in my Eyes. Age he found I did not admire, he there∣fore endeavour'd to conceal it by Dress, Pe∣ruque, and clumsey Gayety; Respect he was inform'd I expected from a Lover, which he wou'd express with such comical Cringes, such odd sort of ogling, and fantastick Address, that I cou'd never force a serious Face on what∣ever he said, for let the Subject be never so grave, his Person and Delivery turn'd it into a Farce. There was no piece of Gallantry he observ'd, perform'd by the young Gentlemen of the City, but he attempted in Imitation of them, ev'n to Poetry; but that indeed in his own Language, and so might be extraordinary for ought I know.

Thus I diverted my self with him in Albert's Absence, till he began to assume and grow troublesome, on my bare Permission of his Ad∣dress, for a very little Incouragement serves that Nation, full of their own dear selves; so

that to rid my self of him, I found no more ready way, than to let Albert know all his Treachery to him, and the many considerable Proffers he had made me to win me to his De∣sires. But Albert, with an unusual Resentment of these Affairs, threaten'd his Death, which was going farther than I desir'd; for tho' I had no Kindness for either of them, yet I had so much for my self, as not to be the Occasion of any Murder, or become the talk of the City on so ridiculous an Occasion; so I pacified Albert, and made him see how foolish such an Attempt on an old Man wou'd look, and perswaded him only the next Visit he made me, to upbraid him with his Treachery, and forbid him the House, and if need were, to threaten him a little. But this produced a very ridiculous Scene, and wor∣thy of more Spectators: For my Nestorean Lo∣ver wou'd not give ground to Albert, but was as high, as he; challeng'd him to Snick or Snee for me, and a thousand things as comical; in short, nothing but my positive Command cou'd satisfie him, and on that, he promis'd no more to trouble me; sure, as he thought, of me, and was Thunder-struck when he heard me not only forbid him the House, but ridicule all his Addresses to his Rival Albert; and with a Countenance full of Despair, went away, not only from my Lodgings, but the next Day from Antwerp, leaving his Law-suit to the Care of his Friends, unable to stay in the Place where he had met with so dreadful a Defeat.

Thus you see the Prowess of my Person; how unsuccessful soever my Mind has been in our Statesmens Opinions, you will, in a little time,

find who is in the right of it. I'm sorry I can't at this time furnish you with any more re∣fin'd Int••igues. Those of a Prince that have happen'd here, are too long; and I have met with none that have touch'd me so far, as to concern my Heart, which is not the most insen∣sible of all my Sex, I assure you: And I'm so far from finding one fit to make a Lover of, that I can't meet with one that raises me to Warmth of a Friend; but here my Letter puts me in mind, that I have exercis'd your Patience enough for once, and I shall therefore conclude my self

Your faithful Friend, Astrea.

But now 'tis time to proceed to her Affairs, with Vander Albert, her other Dutch Lover, which was pleasant enough, and in which she contriv'd to preserve her Honour, with∣out injuring her Gratitude; for she cou'd not deny but he had done such Services that did justly challenge a Return for so much Love as produc'd 'em.

There was a Woman of some Remains of Beauty in Antwerp, that had often given Astrea warning of the Infidelity of Albert, assuring her he was of so ••ickle a Nature, that he never lov'd past Enjoyment, and sometimes made his Change, before he had ev'n that pretence, of which Number her self was, for whom he had profess'd so much Love as to marry her, and yet deserted her that very Night in the height

of her Expectations: This Woman came now into Astrea's Mind at the same time, to gratifie her Admirer with a Belief of his Happiness, and do Justice to an injur'd Woman. She gives her Notice of her Design, and orders the Ap∣pointment so, that Albert met Catalina, (for that was her Name) for Astrea, and possess'd her with all the Satisfaction of a longing Lo∣ver: But Catalina, infinitely pleas'd with the Adventure, appoints the next Night, and the following; and finding his Transports still fresh and high, began to confide in her own Charms; and keeping him longer than usual, made the Day discover a double Disappoint∣ment of her in her future Pleasures, and him in the past, for he cou'd not forgive her ev'n the Joys she had imparted by the false Bait of another's Charms, but flung from her with the highest Resentment and Indignation, and re∣turn'd to Astrea to upbraid her with her unge∣nerous Dealing; who, for her Plea, urg'd his Duty to his Wife, and how unreasonable it was in him, to desire the sacrificing of the Re∣putation of the Woman he profess'd to love.

Tho' Albert was forc'd to acquiesce in what she said, he cou'd not lose his Desire, now in∣creas'd by the Pleasure of Revenge, which he promis'd himself in the Enjoyment of her, ev'n against her Will, and almost without her Know∣ledge. Mrs. Behn had an old Woman of near Threescore, which, out of Charity, she kept as her Companion, having been an old decay'd Gentlewoman; but she, guilty of the common Vice of Age, Avarice, still covetous of what they cannot enjoy, was corrupted by Albert's

Gold, to put him dress'd in her Night-cloaths to Bed in her Place (for she made her her Bed∣fellow) when Astrea was out at a Merchant's of Antwerp, passing the Ev'ning in Play, and Mirth as her Age, and Gayety requir'd: The Son of which Merchant was a brisk, lively, frolick∣some young Fellow, and with his two Sisters, and some Servants, waited on Astrea home; and as a Conclusion of that Night's Mirth, pro∣pos'd to go to bed to the old Woman and sur∣prize her, whilst they shou'd all come in with the Candles, and compleat the merry Scene: As it was agreed, so they did, but the young Spark was more surpriz'd when, in the En∣counter, he found himself met with an unex∣pected Ardour, and a Man's Voice, saying, Have I now caught thee, thou malicious Charmer; now I'll not let thee go till thou hast done me Justice for all the Wrongs thou hast offer'd my doating Love.

By this time the rest of the Company were come in, all extreamly surpriz'd to find Albert in Astrea's Bed, instead of the old Woman; who being thus discover'd, and Albert appeas'd with a Promise to marry him at her Arrival in Eng∣land, was discarded to provide for her self ac∣cording to her Deserts: But Albert taking his leave of her with a heavy Heart, and return∣ing into Holland to make all things ready for his Voyage to England, and Matrimony, dy'd at Amsterdam of a Fever. Whilst Astrea pro∣ceeded in her Journey to Ostend, and Dunkirk, where, with Sir Bernard Gascoign, and others, she took Shipping for England; in which short Voyage she met with a strange Appearance,

that was visible to all the Passengers and Ship's-Crew. Sir Bernand Gascoign had brought with him from Italy several admirable Telescopes and Prospective-Glasses, and looking through one of them, when the Day was very calm and clear, espy'd a strange Apparition floating on the Water, which was also seen by all in their turns that look'd through it, which made 'em conclude that they were painted Glasses that were put at the ends on purpose to surprize and amuse those that look'd through 'em; till after having taken 'em out, rubb'd, and put 'em in again, they found the same thing float∣ing toward the Ship and which was now come so near as to be within View without the Glass; I've often heard her assert, that the whole Com∣pany saw it: The Figure was this: A foursquare Floor of various colour'd Marble, from which ascended rows of fluted and twisted Pillars, emboss'd ••ound with climbing Vines and Flow∣ers, and waving Streamers, that receiv'd an easie Motion from the Air; upon the Pillars a hundred little Cupids clamber'd with flutt'ring Wings. This strange Pageant came almost near enough for one to step out of the Ship into it before it vanish'd; after which, and a short Calm, followed so violent a Storm, that ha∣ving driv'n the Ship upon the Coasts, she split in ••••ght of Land, but the People, by the help of the Inhabitants, and Boats from shoar, were all sav'd; and our Astrea arriv'd safe, tho' tir'd, to London, from a Voyage that gain'd her more Reputation than Profit.

The Rest of her Life was entirely dedicated to Pleasure and Poetry; the Success in which

gain'd her the Acquaintance and Friendship of the most sensible Men of the Age; and the Love of not a few of different Characters; for tho' a Sot have no Portion of Wit of his own, he yet like Old Age, covets what he cannot enjoy. I can't allow a Fool to be touch'd with the Charms of Wit, but the Reputation that is gain'd by Wit; which being a thing beyond his Reach, he is fond of it because it pleases others, not himself: Our Astrea had many of these, who profess'd not a little Love for her, and whom she us'd as Fools shou'd be us'd, for her Sport, and the Diversion of her better Acquaintance. I went to visit her one Day, and found with her a young brisk pert Fop very gayly dress'd, and who after an Abundance of Impertinence, left us. His Figure was so extraordinary, that I cou'd not but enquire into his Name, and more particular Character, which Astrea gave me in the following manner.

This is a young vain Coxcomb, but newly come from the University, and full of the im∣pudent self-Opinion, and Pride of that Place, takes the common Privilege of being very im∣pertinent in all Company, especially among Women, and Men that understand not the Jargon of the Schools. He's of a good Family, and was left a pretty good paternal Estate, which he endeavour'd to encrease by marrying a rich Aunt he had in the Country, who had Occasion for just such a Fop; for tho' he has not been two Years from Oxford, he has met with several uncommon Adventures, and among the rest, his Addresses to me shall not be the least considerable for all our Diversions.

Going down to take Possession of his Pater∣nal Estate, and full of no very good Thoughts of wronging his Brothers, he lay at this Aunts's; who, tho' none of the youngest, was not old enough yet to have given off all Thoughts of Love, or to be exempted from the Effects of En∣joyment; for after a long Intrigue with the Steward of her Estate, she was, or imagin'd at least, that she was with Child; and tho' she lik'd him well enough for a Gallant, she cou'd by no means think him fit for a Husband, ei∣ther because her Pride wou'd not permit her to think of her Servant for her Master, or that she fear'd to give him a Power over her Conduct, who had been a Witness how weak a Guard of Virtue she had to secure the conjugal Duty, he might expect from her as her Husband: But whatever was the Motive, the Arrival of her Nephew gave her other Thoughts, finding him a fit Coxcomb for her ends; for you find, that a little Conversation will let you into his Character, at least, so far as to discover him to be a very self-conceited Fool, and one on whom by Consequence, Flattery wou'd have no small Effect. His Aunt having made this Discovery, took Care to detain him some Days longer than he intended, and by all the cunning Arts of a designing Woman, gave him Cause to believe that his Suit wou'd not be very unsuccess∣ful, if he shou'd make his Addresses to her. He naturally thought well of himself, and fir'd with so many Advances that his Aunt made to him, he resolv'd to trie if he cou'd gain her.

She was a Woman that had yet a Rest of Beauty, improv'd too by the help of Art, that she might pretend, without vanity, to a conquest, where no brighter or more youthful Faces interpos'd; to this she had an engaging Air, and a sprightly Conversation: but that which compleated the Victory over our young Spark, was her Estate; that was exceeding beautiful, because very great, and, join'd with her other Charms, was not to be resisted by a Man who was possess'd with the contrary Vices of Avarice and Prodigality. For he had still a thirst of Wealth, which he perpetually squan∣der'd; for he was incapable of doing a gene∣rous Action, though he wou'd do many foolish ones, which seem'd to him worthy that Name, as particularly that which I'm just going to re∣late after his Marriage with his Aunt, for there ended this Amour.

Some small time after the consummation of the Nuptials, finding her fears of being with Child vain, and quite tired of the Fool her Husband, she perpetually was contriving how to get handsomly rid of him; for though he seem'd to love her well enough for a Wife, yet he was too watchful of her motions to give her opportunity of those Pleasures she had so long taken with liberty. This made her very ill humour'd and cross; which he endeavour'd, by pleasing her all the ways he cou'd think of, to remove: But all in vain, unless he cou'd remove himself, and his legal Right to her Estate, all his Caresses and Complaisance sig∣nified nothing. In short, after she had acted this part some time, and made him very earnest

in the enquiry into the cause of her Chagrin, she inform'd him, that she was very sensible the chief motive that engag'd him to make love to her was her Estate, and that all his profes∣sions of Love were only false baits to delude her too credulous Heart, and catch her Estate; that she cou'd never forgive herself, being over∣reach'd by so unexperienc'd a Youth, or ever have patience to support the affliction this gave her.

He us'd all the Arguments he could think of to convince her of her Error, and that he lov'd her with a sincere and tender Passion, without any regard to her Estate, of which she was as entirely Mistress as before. In vain was all he said, she turn'd it to a contrary end to what he meant it; told him 'twas easie professing his Love sincere, when he was in possession of the fruits of his past Dissimulation, and that she cou'd never believe her Fortune had no share in his Affections, as long as he was Master of it whether she wou'd or not; that she must de∣spair, being so much older than him, of long being able so much as of a cold Civility, when it was out of her power to give him any more. He, out of a foolish fansie of Generosity, or ex∣cessive good Opinion of his own Charms and Power over her, tells her he has now thought of a way to satisfie her Doubts, and, by a con∣vincing proof of his Love, remove all those Anxieties that gave her so much Pain, and robb'd him of his Rest and Satisfaction; for to shew her that it was her Person, and that alone which he esteem'd, he would immediately put her Fortune into her own possession again, and

keep no other Right he had to any thing of hers but her Person, which was the Treasure he only coveted a quiet enjoyment of.

This was the point she had all this while been lab'ring to gain, and you may imagine she lost not the lucky Minute of the Fools ridiculous Fondness. The Writings were made, and she put in absolute possession of all her Fortune, and had therefore no farther need of a longer Dissimulation; nay, the curb that had been set on her unruly Will for the short time of their Marriage, provok'd her to observe no measures with him, whom she could not forgive the many Pleasures he had disappointed her of. He was first tormented with fresh Proofs, ev'ry day, of his being a no∣torious Cuckold, to which were added the Af∣fronts of the Servants, and the Contempt of the Mistress; and when none of these wou'd rid her hands of him whose sight she loath'd, having taken particular care to have him well beaten, she thrust him out of doors, to provide for him∣self. His late treatment made him unwilling to return, for fear of a worse reception; and since he had found all means ineffectual to re∣claim her, he concluded to pass on to his own Estate, and from thence to London, out of the hearing himself the perpetual Discourse of the Countrey.

He had not been long in Town, when one day, walking in the Park, in a very mean Con∣dition, (his own Estate being then seiz'd by his Brothers, for the repayment of what he had wrong'd 'em of,) he sees his Wife alone, and though masqu'd, knows her; his Necessities prompted him at least to try if the making him∣self

Master of her Person, and playing the Ty∣rant in his turn, would not furnish him with a present Supply, if not recover him the Possession of her Estate, by cancelling the Deed that put it in her power to abuse him. She was very well dress'd, and he something shabby; he seizes her, uses all the Arguments he could to persuade her Reformation, and Re-union to a Man that yet had a value for her; but all in vain. He told her plainly he would keep her Person, though he had nothing to do with her Estate; 'twas in vain for her to struggle, so she went with him to the Horse-Guards, contriving all the way how to get rid of him; and being come there, on some occasion there happen'd to be a great concourse of People: This gave her a lucky hint, and starting from him, she sought the Protection of the Mobb, assuring them he was a paultry Scoundrel, that would needs pretend to seduce her to his Ends, but on denial, had, on his threats, prevail'd with her to go quietly to that place, where she hop'd her Rescue. He assur'd them he was her Husband, and that he only meant to reclaim her from her evil courses, and carry her home. She, with all the assurance imaginable, laughing at his Asser∣tion, desir'd 'em to consider if that Man look'd like her Husband. Her Dress and Mien had engag'd a Gentleman of the Guards to espouse her Quarrel, and preventing the Decision of the Mobb, declar'd his Opinion in the Lady's favour, and propos'd the giving him the civi∣lity of the Horse-pond: which hitting the bru∣tal pleasure of the Mobb, prevail'd, and so the poor Knight was carry'd to the Enchanted

Castle, and the Lady set free, for more agree∣able Encounters; for she was not ungrateful to her Deliverer.

This unlucky Adventure was no small check to his Hopes, and unopinion of his own Con∣duct and Judgment; yet about half a year after, being now more gay, by the recovery of his Estate, and walking in the Park again, he meets his treacherous Spouse, and full of the Injury he had last received from her, and out of fear of the like Misfortune, his Dress being now answerable to her's, he upbraids her with what was past, and assures her nothing shall now deliver her from him; and so endeavour∣ing to force her out again at the Horse-Guards, where she enter'd, and near which he met her, she, by her cunning, and seeming sorrow for what had past, prevail'd with him to go out at St. James's; and being got out of the Gate, she makes to the first Coach very peaceably with him, where he found three Gentlemen who waited ready for her, and on her approach came out, deliver'd her from her Husband, and without much difficulty carry'd her off.

Being thus again out-witted by her, and see∣ing no help for his desperate Condition, he gave over all thought of her, and set his mind on some fresh Amour, to wear off the uneasie remembrance of his past Adventures. Among the rest that were doom'd to suffer his Addresses, it has been my fate, of late, to share the ill luck, tho' I have the advantage of a great deal of good Company to atone for the impertinent Moments he taxes me with, his Conversation diverting sometimes some of my best Friends, and

his Letters my self; they are so affectedly ridi∣culous, that I will shew you one of them ex∣traordinary in its kind.

To the incomparable fine hands of the Seraphick Astrea.

SHou'd I make a Palinode for the Aggressions of my Passion, I should disappoint the Justice of your Expectations; for without any periodical flourishes, you know your Wit has irresistable Charms; and that we can no more resist the desire of imparting our Pain when the Paroxism approaches, than a sick Man in a Fever the desire of Water. The Horoscope of my Love for the bright Astrea rose under a very noxious Influence, if its Stars ordain it abortive. You, Madam, that are Mistress of the Encyclopedy of the Sciences, who have the whole Galaxy of the Muses to attend you, that have the Corruscations of the Night in your Eyes, Jove's Bolts and Lightning in your Frowns, and the Sheers of the three fatal Sisters in your Anger, shou'd also have the commiseration of the Gods in the Tribunal of your Heart, to pre∣ponderate to the Severity of your Justice. The wise Ancients, among their other Hiero∣glyphicks, made Justice Blind, that she might see and discover the several shares and propor∣tions due to the several Pretenders to her Favour. You, Madam, are the Portraiture, the admi∣rable Icon of that Justice whose Name you bear,

Terras Astraea reliquit: that is, "'Tis full well known, "That Justice is flown.

Yet, most Serene Fair One, she possesses your Breast, there she nidificates, there she erects her Bower, and there I hope to have her de∣clare in the favour of, Madam,

Your most Obsequious Humble Servant, and Non pareil Admirer, &c.

This, indeed, is the Soul of a meer Aca∣demic, that is, of one whom Learning, ill un∣derstood, has fitted for a publick Coxcomb, and of whom there is scarce any one so ignorant, as to have a good Opinion. You have, indeed, reply'd I, a most extraordinary Lover of him, but whose folly is too gross to be so long enter∣taining as he shall think fit to be impertinent; for, like common Beggars, they are not to be denied; and are so far Courtiers, to think per∣petual Importunities merit; so that if you have no way of ridding your hands of him but laugh∣ing at him, 'twill never do; for a Fool follows you the more for laughing at him, as a Spaniel does for beating of him.

Why truly (reply'd Astrea) he is grown so troublesome now, that I shall be forced to use him as bad as his Wife has done, in my own de∣fence; and that I intend to put in execution the more speedily, since I find my Lysander grows uneasie at his Addresses, which can never move any thing but laughter; however I shall easily sacrifice so trifling a Sport to the Quiet of the Man I love, in which you must assist me; for Lysander shall have no hand in it, both to secure him from a Quarrel, and my self the pleasure of revenging him on a Fop that could hope, where he had possession.

I promis'd to give her all the Assistance I was capable of, to gratifie so reasonable a Re∣venge; for if one Man affronts another by his Rudeness, the Person affronted must be look'd upon as a Coward, if he take not Satisfaction: I can imagine no reason in the world, why a Woman of Wit, that is affronted with the saucy impertinent Love of a Fool that will not be denied, shou'd not punish his In••olence accor∣ding to her power: Wit is the Weapon she had to fight with, and that she was to make use of in her Satisfaction; to which, as a Second, I was very willing to contribute; though the Part she afterwards engag'd me to play was not so agreeable to me as I at first imagin'd; for to give a conceited Coxcomb any reason to believe he has an Ascendant over a Woman, and then allow him the least Opportunity, is to put her self in a manifest hazard of her Honour and Satisfaction. But this I did not much consider, being willing to free my Friend from the Im∣portunities of one she cou'd no more suffer, than know how to be handsomly rid of.

And upon her Persuasion, I took the oppor∣tunity of his next Visit, to give him all the rea∣son imaginable to make him think me extremely taken with his Person: Which Interview Astrea took care to improve on my departure, and to let him know that I was a Person of no less For∣tune than Quality, which wou'd repair the loss of an unfaithful Wife. Flattery, as it has some power on the most Sensible, so it is of such force with a Fool, that no Consideration can with∣stand it. He soon thought the pursuit of me more eligible, where he imagin'd his Perfections

had made such an impression, that I cou'd no more resist the Charm, than the barren Passion he had hitherto entertain'd for Astrea. In short, she came to a perfect understanding, and the Assignation was made, and some Friends provided to be in readiness to disappoint him, when he most thought me his own. But the Gentlemen retir'd to the Balcony, to see some sudden Hubbub in the Street, and my Lover, full of himself, and the opinion of my being wholly at his devotion, press'd so hard for the victory, that when nothing else wou'd secure me; I was forc'd to cry out: On which the Gentlemen ap∣proach'd, and he believing one of 'em my Husband, was in a most dreadful fright, and soon discover'd the baseness of his Spirit; for in hopes to get clear off himself, accus'd me to him he suppos'd my Husband. But this not availing, he was handsomly toss'd in a Blanket, wash'd, and turn'd out of doors. All which Misfortunes he dissembl'd to Astrea, and re∣new'd his Suit to her; till by appointment, I and the two Gentlemen enter'd the Room, and expos'd the truth of the Story: which he cou'd not deny; and, confounded with the Reproaches of Astrea, and the whole Company's laughing at him, he never after troubl'd her with a Visit.

This was the end of this ridiculous Amour. But that which touch'd her Heart, cou'd not be so easily dispos'd of. I have already mention'd Lysander, as a Lover she valu'd; and he having contributed her Letters to him, to the last Im∣pression, I shall say no more of it than what those discover, which I have now inserted in their order.